Speaker 1: Hello, my beautiful people. Welcome to your favorite podcast, Cheek
Speaker 1: Is in Chill, where you come to Chill to listen,
Speaker 1: to grow, and to glow. I hope you all are
Speaker 1: enjoying season four, because I definitely am. We've covered so
Speaker 1: many different topics and I can't wait for you guys
Speaker 1: to hear what else we have in store for you.
Speaker 1: So let me get into today's episode because our guest
Speaker 1: is a very special guest and he's very excited to
Speaker 1: be here, and I'm excited that he's here and I'm
Speaker 1: excited to have him. His name is Emilio marist Sanchez.
Speaker 1: He happens to be my husband.
Speaker 2: Say hello, babe, Hi, beautiful girl.
Speaker 1: So I'm putting him on the hot seat today because
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about our first year of marriage
Speaker 1: and how it's gone and how we're navigating challenges and situations.
Speaker 1: And then we'll wrap up the episode with some advice
Speaker 1: for any newlyweds out there, So be sure to listen
Speaker 1: to the entire episode.
Speaker 3: Are you ready, bibe?
Speaker 2: Yes? I am all right.
Speaker 1: So before we get into it, I wanted to give
Speaker 1: you guys a little recap. We tied the knot on
Speaker 1: July fifth, twenty twenty four. It was a very intimate
Speaker 1: wedding in Las Vegas, and it was a very special night.
Speaker 1: It's a very special day that I'll never forget. And
Speaker 1: we did not prepare for this episode. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: the way I like to do things, you guys. I
Speaker 1: like to just speak from the heart. He doesn't know
Speaker 1: exactly what we're going to talk about. We're just gonna
Speaker 1: say the truth because everyone, not everyone, but a lot
Speaker 1: of people have shared that the first year of marriage
Speaker 1: is the hardest, and I don't know. I wouldn't say
Speaker 1: that it was. I mean, it wasn't easy peasy, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you that much. So let's go back to last
Speaker 1: year when we got married. Okay, I think because we
Speaker 1: were in the middle of touring and we had a
Speaker 1: very busy year, we spent a lot of time together
Speaker 1: that we were very fortunate that even though we were
Speaker 1: both working, because you had you were on tour with
Speaker 1: Becky and then I was on lakadem I was doing
Speaker 1: so much, but we were able to spend a lot
Speaker 1: of time together.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so I feel.
Speaker 1: Like we were just in the nitty gritty and working
Speaker 1: and grinding that it felt. Yes, we're married and it
Speaker 1: was good and I don't feel like it was in
Speaker 1: any way bad. But then things slowed down and I
Speaker 1: feel like stuff got real in January of this year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, why, well, I just want to kind of explain
Speaker 2: on like how crazy it was last year, because because
Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, we did get married, and then it
Speaker 2: was just so many things. And while all these things
Speaker 2: are happening, you also dropped Gesiga Passando, which was like
Speaker 2: our marriage anthem for the year. And looking back at
Speaker 2: it now, it was like it was very present, like
Speaker 2: we felt we felt a love from everybody. It was
Speaker 2: just a love year. You know.
Speaker 3: It was beautiful for sure, it was.
Speaker 2: A lot it was. It felt really good, It was
Speaker 2: really fun, and it felt big, you know in our lives,
Speaker 2: well for me.
Speaker 3: At least same.
Speaker 2: And and then yeah, in January, then it calmed down.
Speaker 1: It did calm down, I think because you know, the
Speaker 1: dust started settling in other words, and you know, things
Speaker 1: started slowing down, and then I started IVF.
Speaker 2: Yeah, January was just so much just remind me, I mean,
Speaker 2: just a lot of even I mean the last few
Speaker 2: days of our vacation that's when the Los Angeles fire started,
Speaker 2: and I think it had such an impact on us,
Speaker 2: especially because you know, we live here in Los Angeles
Speaker 2: and it affected a lot of people and a lot
Speaker 2: of people we care about and just our city, you know,
Speaker 2: and I wrecked me.
Speaker 3: Guys.
Speaker 2: It started like a kind of a snowball effect from there.
Speaker 1: For sure, I agree with you, and that's why I'm
Speaker 1: so glad that I can talk to you about this,
Speaker 1: because I tend to forget things, you guys, and apparently
Speaker 1: it's due to traumatic experiences in my childhood that that's
Speaker 1: like a coping mechanism. This is something I just recently learned,
Speaker 1: because I'm like, why is it that I can't remember
Speaker 1: certain things. I have to write things down and then
Speaker 1: I just unless I see a picture then it sparks
Speaker 1: the memory. So anyway, I'm glad you did bring that
Speaker 1: up because it took me back to last year November,
Speaker 1: and I remember us being in Miami and it was
Speaker 1: beautiful because I won my third Latin Grammy. You were
Speaker 1: with me, we took awesome pictures and I think that
Speaker 1: was the beginning of me taking medication for IVF. So
Speaker 1: I was feeling it, but not as heavily. And then
Speaker 1: in December was when we went to the Philippines and
Speaker 1: we had our vacation and it was amazing. And then
Speaker 1: at the tail end of it, I was doing my
Speaker 1: best to just not be on my phone because that's
Speaker 1: one of the biggest things with Amlie and I that
Speaker 1: he likes me to be present and not work as much,
Speaker 1: which I appreciate. It's a little difficult. I think that's
Speaker 1: been one of the hardest things in our relationship. And
Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong, babe, but it has been
Speaker 1: a little difficult because I am a bit of a workaholic.
Speaker 1: But with Emilio being with him, with you, it's really
Speaker 1: just helped me remember what's important and anyway, so I
Speaker 1: tried to stay off my phone the entire time we
Speaker 1: were there, just whatever was necessary. And then the fires
Speaker 1: did happen, and it really affected me, like I felt
Speaker 1: like I was abandoning my city, and he had to
Speaker 1: remind me, like, Babe, there's not much that we can
Speaker 1: do even if we were there. This is happening. But
Speaker 1: I felt like, oh my gosh, my siblings are out
Speaker 1: there and I'm in the Philippines, like across the globe,
Speaker 1: and it was driving me a little bit nuts, and
Speaker 1: I wanted to come back because I wanted to help,
Speaker 1: and we had what like three more days in our trip,
Speaker 1: and I just had to kind of silence everything. And
Speaker 1: like Emilio said, it was a snowball effect because I
Speaker 1: was also on these hormones you guys, and taking the
Speaker 1: medicine that my IVF doctor you know, needed me to
Speaker 1: take in order to get pregnant. And I was an
Speaker 1: emotional wreck. And I don't know if you want to
Speaker 1: take it from there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, just to touch on that a little bit, like,
Speaker 2: you know, we were in vacation mode, so our mind
Speaker 2: was really you know, relaxed, and we were chilling, and
Speaker 2: you know, it was a big enough event where it
Speaker 2: was all over the news in the Philippines, Like, yes,
Speaker 2: it was on the TVs everywhere we were walking. We
Speaker 2: can see just just fires all over the TV. When
Speaker 2: you're in another country and you see our home on
Speaker 2: fire on the television, like it just it hits different
Speaker 2: than like seeing it if you're here. Yeah, And so
Speaker 2: it was just like, all right, let's go, let's get home.
Speaker 2: And then also to touch on like the the phone
Speaker 2: thing too. It's not that I'm like, oh, we can't
Speaker 2: have phones or we can't be on our phone or
Speaker 2: we can't check our phone. My biggest thing with is like,
Speaker 2: like I love being present with each other. And that means,
Speaker 2: you know, many different things like if we're if we're
Speaker 2: on a walk, if we're walking down the street to
Speaker 2: get to a restaurant or something, and like I point
Speaker 2: something out and I say, hey, looked at this or
Speaker 2: this or that, like and our engagement with like being
Speaker 2: wherever we're being or wherever we're at, Like that is
Speaker 2: like the biggest connection to me to like look at
Speaker 2: this or look at that, experience this with me set
Speaker 2: and like that's when I feel the best where I'm
Speaker 2: with you and most connected.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when our eyes are seeing the same things on
Speaker 1: the road, Yes, And I get it because there are
Speaker 1: a lot of times when Emidia is driving and I
Speaker 1: am working, I'm on my phone and he's like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, did you see this in the sky And
Speaker 1: he's so present and I'm like, wait what and I
Speaker 1: miss it. So I've learned to slow down and just
Speaker 1: tell myself that can wait. Because I love to be
Speaker 1: very responsible. I love to work. I love what I do,
Speaker 1: you guys, So it's been very difficult to find that balance.
Speaker 1: But I'm so grateful because Emilio has been that reminder
Speaker 1: for me, and I'm grateful, you know, Yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Really really am.
Speaker 1: And we have not really talked about IVF and how
Speaker 1: it's made me feel. And this is a very touchy
Speaker 1: subject for Emilia and I right now, because you know,
Speaker 1: we want to have a baby. And the medication wasn't
Speaker 1: making me feel like myself. I felt like I was
Speaker 1: on mute. I could not think straight, I could not
Speaker 1: get my thoughts straight at all. Everything was foggy, My
Speaker 1: energy levels were very low. I was very sad, I
Speaker 1: was angry. Him and I were having the worst arguments
Speaker 1: we ever had. Guys, he already understands that I'm a
Speaker 1: very very sensitive and with the medicine, I was ultra sensitive,
Speaker 1: and I think we were just it was like water
Speaker 1: and fire mixing and it would just sizzle and we
Speaker 1: had these crazy arguments, right, babe.
Speaker 3: Yeah, are you trying to remember?
Speaker 2: No, I'm not. I'm just I'm trying to My brain
Speaker 2: is just working, you know, and it just makes me
Speaker 2: think of like what an argument is and what a
Speaker 2: fight is, and like how different they are. We had
Speaker 2: very intense arguments. M thankfully I think that we don't
Speaker 2: fight a lot. I don't think we fight. I think
Speaker 2: fighting is when you're just going at it with a
Speaker 2: partner and the actual problem is not even you know,
Speaker 2: discussed or engage with. Like then you're just like insulting
Speaker 2: and yelling and I don't know, throwing stuff, Like we
Speaker 2: don't do any of that. Like our arguments are like
Speaker 2: especially I think with this one, because it was I
Speaker 2: believe it's like one of the biggest subjects of life
Speaker 2: that you can discuss, so like it's our two perspectives
Speaker 2: coming together and trying to fit that together. Is like
Speaker 2: it can can be explosives.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I remember this specific night, and I don't even remember
Speaker 1: what we were arguing about. To be completely honest, our arguments,
Speaker 1: our discussions, whatever you want to call them, are very silly.
Speaker 1: Once I sit and think about it, I'm like, why
Speaker 1: did we even argue? It's just because I just wasn't
Speaker 1: being my best self. I wasn't and I didn't feel
Speaker 1: like my best self. You guys, I felt like someone
Speaker 1: was taking over my body. And I don't know how
Speaker 1: else to explain it, but I told him, I mean
Speaker 1: I felt like I wanted to smile and be happy.
Speaker 1: But and I would listen to a song because music
Speaker 1: makes me happy, right, and I just couldn't. I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I want my body stuck. Like I
Speaker 1: felt like I was. My hands were tied. It's the
Speaker 1: weirdest thing.
Speaker 3: Anyway.
Speaker 1: I remember this specific argument that we had and he
Speaker 1: was on the couch and I went upstairs and I
Speaker 1: was just crying and this whole thing, and I wanted
Speaker 1: him to come and hug me and you know, come
Speaker 1: get me, you know, And he didn't. So I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I was so angry. I was laying there and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, she's not He's really going to stay
Speaker 1: down there. I think he had just had it because
Speaker 1: it was a lot. And again, I was just a
Speaker 1: hot mess, you guys. And I remember coming downstairs like
Speaker 1: a little girl, never forget, and he was on the
Speaker 1: couch and he was so mad, you could I could
Speaker 1: see it in his face. I was like, oh, he's
Speaker 1: so angry at me. And I just looked at him
Speaker 1: and I started crying like a little girl. And I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm sorry, I'm not being my best sell.
Speaker 1: And I just started crying and he just held me.
Speaker 1: He's like I could tell that he's just like okay,
Speaker 1: and that's I think what you needed is just for
Speaker 1: me to just, I guess, I don't know, be soft
Speaker 1: and yes, let myself be loved.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it changes everything because I think I
Speaker 2: can remember that exact moment where I was still upset,
Speaker 2: but the feeling of having to be there for you
Speaker 2: was greater than me being upset. I needed something to
Speaker 2: knock me off my course. That was that I was
Speaker 2: on of just I'm upset, we're fighting, yeah, And that
Speaker 2: does it for me. When your attitude switches ups it
Speaker 2: helps me like let go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I've learned that.
Speaker 1: I've learned that because I could argue, yeah, I have
Speaker 1: been in my masculine energy for so long because I
Speaker 1: had to in the music that I was singing in
Speaker 1: the industry. It's like I had to have my fists up,
Speaker 1: you know, kind of like on defense mode, like.
Speaker 3: You know, be ready for war if need be.
Speaker 1: And not that I wanted to be at war with anyone,
Speaker 1: it was just it was always coming at me, you know,
Speaker 1: and I had to be ready. So I feel like
Speaker 1: for a long time I was in my masculine and
Speaker 1: I had to be like my siblings, protector or whatnot.
Speaker 1: And then God brought me Amidia, and I have been
Speaker 1: able to step more into my feminine and realize that
Speaker 1: even if he's also not being his best self, because
Speaker 1: I think during that time, I think it was just
Speaker 1: he didn't know what to do with me. But sometimes
Speaker 1: I did feel like he wasn't as compassionate, like you,
Speaker 1: weren't as compassionate as I would have liked.
Speaker 2: It was a lot, There's so many things.
Speaker 1: It was just such a hard time. It was the
Speaker 1: last for three months, you guys.
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 1: Horrible, Like I had. We had cute moments and and
Speaker 1: nice moments. But January February March, oh my gosh, you guys,
Speaker 1: very very difficult in my eyes.
Speaker 2: Emotionally yes, emotionally yes.
Speaker 1: Then here's the difficult, uh, the very sensitive topic, delicate topic.
Speaker 1: Here was when I decided that I did not want
Speaker 1: to transfer our embryo. Yeah, because we were two weeks
Speaker 1: away from that, and I had already taken medicine since November,
Speaker 1: so November December January February March five months and I thought, okay,
Speaker 1: we transfer, We're done. The baby's in there were good
Speaker 1: no and I was willing to like, I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: I got this.
Speaker 3: I'm a gangster, I'm a warrior. I got this. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna get this done.
Speaker 1: But then where I was like, oh my gosh, I
Speaker 1: have to inject myself I don't know how many times
Speaker 1: a day for three months so that my body doesn't
Speaker 1: reject the embryo. I it just threw me through a
Speaker 1: loop and I said, wait a second, I can't it's
Speaker 1: so hard. I was trying so hard to keep it together,
Speaker 1: and as it progressed, the process progressed, I got worse.
Speaker 1: I would sit at my desk, I'm not kidding you guys,
Speaker 1: trying to get so much done. I had a list
Speaker 1: of things to get done, and I couldn't get one done.
Speaker 1: I remember sitting at my desk for eight hours and
Speaker 1: I didn't get one thing done. I could not use
Speaker 1: my brain. I don't even know how to explain it that.
Speaker 1: I said, Oh my gosh, something scared me. I said, wait,
Speaker 1: let me try to do this holistically. Let me try
Speaker 1: to just cleanse my body. And that was very difficult.
Speaker 1: I mean, tell me how you felt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, I just I want to go back to
Speaker 2: arguing real quick, because yeah, I wanted to say something
Speaker 2: on that where Yeah, sure, I feel like arguing with couples,
Speaker 2: like it affects couples differently, and if it affects the
Speaker 2: individuals and a couple differently, Like when we're arguing, you
Speaker 2: can continue to do things like you can like talk
Speaker 2: to people, you can you can listen to music, you
Speaker 2: can do the chores that you need to do. You can,
Speaker 2: like you just you continue to move and just keep going. Me,
Speaker 2: I shut down and I can't do anything. I can't
Speaker 2: look at my phone, I can't like, I can't think
Speaker 2: about anything else. I don't want to move, I don't
Speaker 2: want to do anything. And it's weird that we never
Speaker 2: talked about that here. Yeah, you're right, but it sounds
Speaker 2: so familiar because we talk about it all the time
Speaker 2: and and it's like it helps it helps us, you know,
Speaker 2: solve our arguments better or understand each other better because
Speaker 2: everyone reacts differently to an argument with your partner. I
Speaker 2: think we've gotten a lot better at knowing how our
Speaker 2: partner reacts to arguments and being able to come together
Speaker 2: a lot a lot easier than we used to. For sure,
Speaker 2: and it's like, Okay, what I do is like, even
Speaker 2: in this super heightened moment where we're either frustrated or
Speaker 2: mad at each other or whatever, it's like, I think
Speaker 2: a good thing that we're able to do is like, Okay,
Speaker 2: what does my partner need at this critical moment? And
Speaker 2: what can I do even if I'm mad, what can
Speaker 2: I do to try to make that happen or help
Speaker 2: or assist my partner get what they need at the
Speaker 2: same time giving myself and getting what I need too. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because in our arguments that I mean, that's that just
Speaker 2: that down Now I'm just putting myself back downstairs on
Speaker 2: the couch and you're upstairs and us coming together, like
Speaker 2: how do we make that happen more easily in the
Speaker 2: future and continue to do that?
Speaker 1: You know, I think our ego to the side, at
Speaker 1: least for me. Yeah, that's been the biggest thing for
Speaker 1: me because I've again, I've had to defend myself for
Speaker 1: the lack of a better term, like I just that's
Speaker 1: how I had I felt like I had to, you know,
Speaker 1: And now I understand that I have someone safe, someone
Speaker 1: that makes me feel safe and gives me peace, and
Speaker 1: I really want to be my best self and I
Speaker 1: feel safe enough to do that. I want to be
Speaker 1: in my soft growl era and embrace my femininity.
Speaker 2: In the beginning, especially in the first couple of years,
Speaker 2: like you would do that. And in my head, I'm like,
Speaker 2: we're having this big argument and you're just continuing your life,
Speaker 2: and it felt like you weren't there with me, or
Speaker 2: you didn't care, or it didn't affect you as much.
Speaker 2: But that's just now that I see, or now that
Speaker 2: I understand. It's it's how you cope with it, and it's.
Speaker 3: How my defense mechanism.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how you deal with it, and it's just everyone
Speaker 2: deals with it differently.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, for sure, And I'm so proud to say
Speaker 1: that that is not the case. In this first year
Speaker 1: of being married, I have definitely grown a lot, and
Speaker 1: I think even Emilia has, and I'm happy to say that.
Speaker 1: You know, right now, we do want a baby. We're
Speaker 1: working on it, we're leaving it in God's hands, and
Speaker 1: you know, we'll decide if IVF is for us.
Speaker 3: In the future or what we're going to do.
Speaker 1: But right now, I think we're enjoying our marriage and
Speaker 1: I don't know, this is my person this is the
Speaker 1: person that I want to be with. And sometimes this
Speaker 1: has never happened to me in any other relationship where
Speaker 1: we're arguing and I'm like, well, why am I going
Speaker 1: to be mad? I mean, I want to be with
Speaker 1: him anyway forever. So I just got to fix it.
Speaker 1: And before I was like, no, I want to have
Speaker 1: the last word, and it was just all these silly
Speaker 1: things that comes from like ego. That now I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I love this guy, like I know I'm safe in
Speaker 1: his arms, I know he wants the best for me,
Speaker 1: and let's talk about it and we do that. Now
Speaker 1: I'm really like happy that I don't. I don't feel bored.
Speaker 1: I honestly I don't. I feel like I could be
Speaker 1: with you every single day, every minute, and I don't
Speaker 1: get bored and I still get to be myself. And
Speaker 1: that's very important for me because I want to be
Speaker 1: in a relationship where I am my authentic and you know,
Speaker 1: embrace our individuality. And I think we've gotten there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I I'm thinking about I'm thinking about IVF right
Speaker 2: now because it's just it's you know, it's just crazy
Speaker 2: because I mean to be honest with everyone listening like
Speaker 2: this is ongoing, like this is like right now in
Speaker 2: the moment, and it's like me and Jane are do
Speaker 2: for you know, these these conversations and they're just happening
Speaker 2: right now, because I mean, I think it was maybe
Speaker 2: a day two days ago.
Speaker 3: We will two days ago.
Speaker 2: Two days ago, we had a we're talking about trying
Speaker 2: to figure this out of like are we doing IVF?
Speaker 2: How many months do we really have to try naturally
Speaker 2: before that is our option? Or just I was more
Speaker 2: in the position of I want to do IVF right now,
Speaker 2: and I just I want to have this baby without
Speaker 2: trying to put pressure on Janney and without trying to
Speaker 2: and I try to explain that to her two days ago. Actually,
Speaker 2: you're correct two days ago, because yesterday I had a
Speaker 2: phone call from a good friend.
Speaker 3: She's been on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Liz Hernandez. And Liz is my big sister.
Speaker 2: She's been there for me for a lot of things,
Speaker 2: and we haven't talked in a while, and she called
Speaker 2: me yesterday and I kind of just updated her a
Speaker 2: little bit.
Speaker 1: And you are so handsome, by the way, Thank you
Speaker 1: do though, You're so cute. Are you getting emotional?
Speaker 2: Yeah? She uh, she just reminded me of like this
Speaker 2: is like our first year together, Like, enjoy this moment.
Speaker 2: She's like, don't don't get stuck on. Oh, I'll be
Speaker 2: happy when we're engaged. I'll be happy when we get married.
Speaker 2: I'll be happy when we have a kid. She's like,
Speaker 2: just just remember to be happy now, and like there
Speaker 2: are things I know, but it's just I needed to
Speaker 2: hear it. I didn't know that I needed to hear that.
Speaker 2: It made me And that's when I texted you and
Speaker 2: I was like, I feel better about things. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't want to rush it. I don't think we
Speaker 2: need to rush it. In my head myself, my brain
Speaker 2: tells me we need it now, now, now, because it'll
Speaker 2: make us happy. And it's like, I'm already happy with
Speaker 2: you and I'm really truly happy with you right now,
Speaker 2: and it's our first year. Let's enjoy this first year
Speaker 2: of marriage. There's no rush. We can get pregnant after
Speaker 2: the first year, Like, there's no there's no real timeline. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And like it really shifted a lot for me yesterday
Speaker 2: after talking to her.
Speaker 1: Thank God for Liz. Yeah, it was hard, it was tough.
Speaker 1: It was a conversation that I was avoiding because I
Speaker 1: know how much he wants his baby and I want
Speaker 1: I want a baby as well. I just I know
Speaker 1: because I know that if God got me pregnant naturally
Speaker 1: last year, it can happen again. And I know that
Speaker 1: God's going to make it happen. And IVF is a
Speaker 1: beautiful thing, and if that's the route we decide to take,
Speaker 1: then so be it. But it was tough. It is
Speaker 1: very difficult, you guys. You know, I'm very honest with you,
Speaker 1: and I think IVF is a beautiful thing that it's
Speaker 1: a great option for people that can't conceive and have
Speaker 1: the problems I have, the reproductive problems, the endometriosis and
Speaker 1: all these the poly ups, just so many things. But
Speaker 1: through it all, you guys, God made it happen, and
Speaker 1: I just want it to happen naturally. And I'm glad
Speaker 1: that Liz was able to talk to you about that
Speaker 1: because I don't want pressure and I don't want to
Speaker 1: force it and I just want to enjoy us. I
Speaker 1: still kind of want to be selfish with you and
Speaker 1: I and you know, baby is a huge responsibility and
Speaker 1: I'm ready for it, more ready than I ever have
Speaker 1: You're the only person in the world that ever made
Speaker 1: me want to have a child, and I feel safe
Speaker 1: with with doing so. But I'm also enjoying us, you know,
Speaker 1: and celebrating our first year anniversary. You guys were going
Speaker 1: to go to Egypt and to Paris and we're going
Speaker 1: to just just him and I and I had never
Speaker 1: imagined before in relationships that I was in, and I
Speaker 1: think I told you guys this before when Amydia has
Speaker 1: been on the podcast. But in my previous relationships, like
Speaker 1: I could, I couldn't be with them for too long,
Speaker 1: I'd get bored or it just I have so much
Speaker 1: fun with with with you, GiB So I'm excited for that,
Speaker 1: and I know that it's going to happen when it's
Speaker 1: meant to happen, like we were, It's going to happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, yeah, No, I feel a lot better
Speaker 2: about it. And it's just crazy because, like guys, like
Speaker 2: I've been meaning to tell you this and update you
Speaker 2: since Hua and I I didn't have a chance. So
Speaker 2: these are my real feelings, and the fears that make
Speaker 2: me have these thoughts are just like, oh, we're just
Speaker 2: going to get back into busy, busy and life is
Speaker 2: gonna take away this opportunity for us to have that,
Speaker 2: and I I need to not let that be the
Speaker 2: thing that's like driving my thoughts because life's not going
Speaker 2: to stop, and this baby's going to come when it comes.
Speaker 1: And do you see my efforts and all the changes
Speaker 1: that I've made to make this happen.
Speaker 2: Absolutely I want you.
Speaker 1: To like see that and the changes that I'm making
Speaker 1: in every single way. Like you know how I am.
Speaker 1: When I decide something, I go all in and I'm in, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, and I'm on this new it's not even new,
Speaker 1: you guys. It's not like, oh I found Jane, Like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm coming back to myself.
Speaker 3: I'm coming back to Jane. I'm coming home to my soul.
Speaker 1: And I just wanted to remind you about that because
Speaker 1: I was very scared to disappoint you and upset you,
Speaker 1: and you know, you get into your head as a
Speaker 1: woman it's like, oh my gosh, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: be able to do this, and you feel broken and
Speaker 1: you feel all these things and I had to shake
Speaker 1: it off and say, wait no, like I know my body,
Speaker 1: my body is healing itself, my body is intelligent, and
Speaker 1: I'm going to do my part and do what I
Speaker 1: can to make it happen. And I have you know,
Speaker 1: I did the indigenous medicine. I am willing to do
Speaker 1: anything holistic to make it happen because I know that
Speaker 1: it's possible. But I'm glad because I was feeling a
Speaker 1: little bit of pressure and it was kind of taking
Speaker 1: the fun out of it for me, if I could
Speaker 1: be honest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And it's kind of tricky, especially for me
Speaker 2: because and this is why two days ago I brought
Speaker 2: it up and I was like, we need to talk
Speaker 2: about this because I really don't bring it up like
Speaker 2: I I feel like I don't verbally put pressure. And
Speaker 2: if I do in any way I put you know,
Speaker 2: I apologize, but I try not to bring it up
Speaker 2: because I'm also just trying to like let it happen
Speaker 2: in a way as well. But two days ago, I'm like, hey,
Speaker 2: I just I know this is a tough conversation, but
Speaker 2: I like, I just need to tell you again and
Speaker 2: you show you that your ears can literally just hear it,
Speaker 2: that there is no pressure. I'm here with you. I
Speaker 2: just I had to tell you just to remind you.
Speaker 2: Even if it's something that you already knew, and even
Speaker 2: if it's if I had told you a month before
Speaker 2: or two months before, like I just it's something that
Speaker 2: I just need to remind I felt like I needed
Speaker 2: to remind you love.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you did a great job and you held
Speaker 1: me and I cried and you did make me feel
Speaker 1: better and you made me feel safe and I feel
Speaker 1: better about it. So I am grateful because it definitely
Speaker 1: it just just made things feel better better. And guys,
Speaker 1: this is this is a real conversation that's being had
Speaker 1: here on the podcast. So thank you for your patients
Speaker 1: and listening in. We're having a therapy session right now.
Speaker 1: But that's what it is, you know. I mean if
Speaker 1: you had to rate our first year of marriage from
Speaker 1: a skill from one to ten, what would you heah?
Speaker 2: Ten for real?
Speaker 3: Okay, No, I'm serious.
Speaker 2: You can tell I'm serious. Like it was, it was
Speaker 2: exactly what it needed to be, exactly like what it
Speaker 2: could have been. Like it was. It was great ups
Speaker 2: and downs, like I wouldn't change absolutely anything about it.
Speaker 2: Like I look at you right now, I'm like, I
Speaker 2: am so happy with you, and I tell you every
Speaker 2: day I want to marry you again. I want to
Speaker 2: marry you again.
Speaker 1: I hope you feel that like that forever, yeah, and
Speaker 1: talking about that, Okay, well we'll wait. Well, thank you,
Speaker 1: because I agree with you. I think that we've done
Speaker 1: a very good job. I think because we're both ready
Speaker 1: and we're both willing to do the work. That's the
Speaker 1: biggest thing. That if I didn't have a husband and
Speaker 1: a partner, a companion that wasn't willing to do the
Speaker 1: work and was work working on himself in every single way,
Speaker 1: it wouldn't allow me to also do my work, but
Speaker 1: it would just make things more difficult. I think the
Speaker 1: fact that we're on the same wavelength with that is
Speaker 1: great because you're doing your thing. You're not like it's
Speaker 1: not like I feel like I have to heal you.
Speaker 1: It's you're doing your work and I'm doing mine, and
Speaker 1: together we're stronger, and that's what a relationship is. Finally,
Speaker 1: I freaking get it, Like I'm like okay, Like you know,
Speaker 1: they always say, oh, I need to find me media
Speaker 1: na angkha, like no, like, I'm already. I want to
Speaker 1: be whole. You give me like, oh, in order for
Speaker 1: me to be complete, I need to find my other half.
Speaker 1: But in reality, you need to come into relationship being
Speaker 1: whole yourself and that other person needs to be whole
Speaker 1: and like loving themselves and then coming together and it
Speaker 1: makes everything better.
Speaker 2: Does that make sense, Sally? I get it.
Speaker 3: So what do you rate me as a wife? Have
Speaker 3: I been a good wife? Say the truth?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you're awesome. I think you're honestly, I
Speaker 2: think I'm so happy with the way everything is, even
Speaker 2: the hard things, Like I wouldn't trade it for anything
Speaker 2: at all.
Speaker 1: Okay, cool and just a little you know, side funny story,
Speaker 1: guys talking about this first year. We just recently put
Speaker 1: up our wedding photos literally like a few days ago
Speaker 1: in our home, and it just made our home feel
Speaker 1: and look so beautiful and complete, and it just feels
Speaker 1: like it's ours.
Speaker 3: Do you get that feeling when I walk in?
Speaker 1: It's just a beautiful reminder of Okay, I'm leaving all
Speaker 1: the junk outside and I'm walking into my space with
Speaker 1: my husband. That's every time I see the pictures, it
Speaker 1: takes me back, like I'm like, Wow, I didn't realize
Speaker 1: how important it is to see those pictures on a
Speaker 1: daily basis.
Speaker 3: Yes, it made me feel more connected.
Speaker 2: It's the first thing you see when you walk into
Speaker 2: our house. Now, yeah, there's so but every time I
Speaker 2: pass it it, like I just I'll look at one
Speaker 2: or I'll just get this feeling every time I see it,
Speaker 2: and I'll just yell to you, my love, I want
Speaker 2: to marry you again. It was really cool too, because
Speaker 2: putting these photos up, like I looked through the gallery
Speaker 2: again and like saw photos that, like, you know, after
Speaker 2: we got married, Like you pick your favorite photos and
Speaker 2: then you post them and then those are the photos
Speaker 2: that live and the ones that you see. But then
Speaker 2: when you go into the gallery, there was other photos
Speaker 2: just that you didn't look at as much or that
Speaker 2: you didn't see, and they just kind of like they
Speaker 2: bring you back to that moment. And I just felt
Speaker 2: it felt really good seeing all the different moments throughout
Speaker 2: that day and how I felt in the room, how
Speaker 2: I felt when I was waiting for you, how I
Speaker 2: felt when we were finally done, like how I felt
Speaker 2: when we saw each other, Like, like it was just
Speaker 2: really cool.
Speaker 1: I don't remember who told me, I can't remember right now,
Speaker 1: but anyway, they said that the next time we have
Speaker 1: an argument or we're having a rough patch, to go
Speaker 1: back to our wedding video or read our vowels and
Speaker 1: it just sets the tone again. And we haven't done that,
Speaker 1: and I think we should do that in Paris or
Speaker 1: won't work right who? I don't know if they told
Speaker 1: you the same thing or who if they told this together,
Speaker 1: but someone told me this, and we should because our
Speaker 1: vowels were freaking superb guys.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yours are crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I wrote my ass off.
Speaker 2: Yours shook diarth a little bit.
Speaker 3: Dude.
Speaker 1: Honestly, guys, when I sit down and write and I'm
Speaker 1: super inspired, I'm as you guys heard here on the podcast.
Speaker 1: I've been writing a lot more and reading to you
Speaker 1: guys what I write. My notes and my vowels were
Speaker 1: off the chain. So I gotta I gotta do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and what it's one of the photos that I
Speaker 2: selected to put up on the wall, was you sitting
Speaker 2: in your wedding dress, were writing your vowels to me?
Speaker 3: Yeah, and writing My hand was hurt in like a mofod.
Speaker 2: I did the same, and we had planned to do
Speaker 2: this days before. We ended up without knowing, we ended
Speaker 2: up both writing our vowels right before, which I think
Speaker 2: is great because it's when you're feeling the most feelings,
Speaker 2: and we also weren't with each other, and we hadn't
Speaker 2: we didn't sleep with each other, so.
Speaker 3: Like we didn't speak the whole day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's weird. It was. It's really weird.
Speaker 3: We're so connected. Did we were doing it at the
Speaker 3: same time.
Speaker 2: We did at the same time, which is fucking tight.
Speaker 2: Sorry he was, And.
Speaker 1: Going back to that moment just real quick, I could not.
Speaker 1: I was like, I just want to finish writing these
Speaker 1: vows already because I want to tell him and I
Speaker 1: just want to see him. I just want my friend back.
Speaker 1: I was like, it's been like a whole freaking day.
Speaker 1: It was crazy. It was so nice. We got to
Speaker 1: do it again, dude. So let me ask you a question, baby,
Speaker 1: if you want me to answer first, I will answer.
Speaker 1: But what is the best part about being married? Do
Speaker 1: you think to me your only wife?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I mean the first thing that really just
Speaker 2: comes to my head of like what I feel all
Speaker 2: the time is just like I never feel alone in
Speaker 2: my life in anything, Like I feel like I always
Speaker 2: have someone, Like you know you have someone when you
Speaker 2: go home, and anything that comes your way throughout your day,
Speaker 2: like you get to bring it back and like share
Speaker 2: it with your partner. Whether it's something really good, you're
Speaker 2: the first person I call. If it's something really bad,
Speaker 2: you're also the first person I call, you know, And
Speaker 2: it just it feels so amazing to have someone that
Speaker 2: for so many reasons of why you're an amazing wife,
Speaker 2: but like that I trust dude, that I that we
Speaker 2: love each other, that we connect so well, that we
Speaker 2: have so much fun together. Okay, there's so many things obviously, right,
Speaker 2: there's so many things that we understand about each other
Speaker 2: why we love each other. But knowing that you have
Speaker 2: that all the time, it's like what else would you want?
Speaker 2: Like it is, It's the best thing ever, And so
Speaker 2: having each other.
Speaker 3: Is just it's a great race.
Speaker 2: And seeing you know, I actually am seeing a lot
Speaker 2: of you know, young people, my family friends, a lot
Speaker 2: of young guys like starting to get engaged, and I
Speaker 2: just catch myself like just trying to talk to them
Speaker 2: and like kind of guide them a little bit, you know,
Speaker 2: And it feels good. It feels good to do that
Speaker 2: to like try to pass that along. Because I left
Speaker 2: a comment on one of my little cousins and he
Speaker 2: got engaged in I think he's super young to do it,
Speaker 2: but I said, I just said, hey, dude, marriage is
Speaker 2: the best thing you can ever do if you do
Speaker 2: it right. Yeah, And so that's how I feel about
Speaker 2: my marriage. It's the best thing I could I could
Speaker 2: have done.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Same.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that I gave marriage a second chance
Speaker 1: because this is amazing. And this is my first time
Speaker 1: being married for a year, you guys, so that's a
Speaker 1: huge thing for me. Yeah, so thank you.
Speaker 3: I'm super excited to celebrate it.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I think the best part about being married is,
Speaker 1: you know, kind of to piggyback on what you said
Speaker 1: was just companionship, knowing that even when the world is
Speaker 1: falling apart, because I have felt that in the last
Speaker 1: year quite a bit in my personal life with my sibling,
Speaker 1: my career, just so many different things. And just to
Speaker 1: know that I have someone to lean on and lay
Speaker 1: my head on is amazing. And not only that, it's
Speaker 1: just it's the right person, the person that is going
Speaker 1: to make me feel better, knows what to tell me
Speaker 1: and gives me good advice because he wants the best
Speaker 1: for me. That is the best part. That I could
Speaker 1: still be myself because I don't ever want to feel
Speaker 1: controlled or in any way like I'm being tamed. It
Speaker 1: sounds weird, but it's like I want to tame myself.
Speaker 1: I want to change because I want to, not because
Speaker 1: someone's making me. And I've never felt that with you.
Speaker 1: So I want to say thank you for that. And
Speaker 1: it's just nice to have a friend that I also
Speaker 1: get to make love to and laugh with and argue
Speaker 1: with and then make up and just have fun. It's
Speaker 1: it's that companionship, you know. So it's been the best
Speaker 1: part about being married. And someone that likes to eat
Speaker 1: the same foods that I like to eat. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: that's important. Yo, we love to eat.
Speaker 2: Is in a bad mood, just get her some food
Speaker 2: because they will change in a heartbeat.
Speaker 3: Whatever, dude.
Speaker 2: Second, and she'll eat mad I see, I sure will.
Speaker 2: When we're arguing and we have food, I just I
Speaker 2: won't eat. I'll just leave it there. She will eat.
Speaker 2: She don't care, And I'm like, yeah, I was like you,
Speaker 2: you must have been really hungry.
Speaker 1: That is true, you guys whatever, Emilio, you know what. See,
Speaker 1: that's how you guys know. I'm consistent and very authentic
Speaker 1: and everything that I do because I am a foodie,
Speaker 1: even when I'm mad, Okay, like I am consistent in
Speaker 1: everything that I do, So thank you for pointing that out.
Speaker 3: Then.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's one of my favorite things about you.
Speaker 1: And I'm happy to say that Immedial is the same
Speaker 1: exact person, if not better, every single day, you know,
Speaker 1: is the You're the person that I chosen, and I'm
Speaker 1: glad that I did. And I love to say that
Speaker 1: you haven't. You haven't changed. In my mind, while we
Speaker 1: were going through IVF and I was in a very
Speaker 1: dark place, I thought that you had changed.
Speaker 3: I kept telling you. I was like, you're different, You're
Speaker 3: not treating me the same. It was crazy.
Speaker 2: Both were feeling things that.
Speaker 1: We Yeah, we were feeling ourself very foreign. Yeah it
Speaker 1: was very heavy. It was heavy and dense. But nonetheless
Speaker 1: you were there for me and I'm grateful and I
Speaker 1: am completely one hundred percent in love with you, and
Speaker 1: I just want to say thank.
Speaker 2: You, dude, thank you.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you.
Speaker 1: Would like to give any newlyweds out there some advice
Speaker 1: real quick, you know, on the first year of marriage
Speaker 1: and how to navigate through emotions.
Speaker 2: I think just to recap everything real quick. Yes, we
Speaker 2: talked about a lot of the heavy stuff, but for
Speaker 2: every like if there was like ten percent heavy stuff
Speaker 2: like that, ninety percent of all the good is like
Speaker 2: it's still happening, and it's still you know, it's it's
Speaker 2: for us. It's it's our daily happiness, our the happiness
Speaker 2: that we have when we go on and when we're
Speaker 2: at home and when we're their family or just you know,
Speaker 2: all that is like amazing and it makes everything else
Speaker 2: like worth it, and it makes everything, It makes everything
Speaker 2: makes sense. I think the biggest thing is just it's
Speaker 2: just patience, because when you have patience, you're going to understand.
Speaker 2: And then when you understand it's you're just going to
Speaker 2: connect with your partner even more. Just really try to
Speaker 2: understand your partner and what they need at all moments.
Speaker 2: And if you do that and not really think about yourself,
Speaker 2: your partner will take care of you the way you need. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I think we do a really good job at that.
Speaker 1: I agree, I agree. I love everything you said. And
Speaker 1: if I can give you guys any advice, definitely keep
Speaker 1: God in the center of your relationship. Pray together every night.
Speaker 1: There are going to be arguments, Just remember that you
Speaker 1: chose that person and if you chose that person and
Speaker 1: it feels right and you feel peace in your heart,
Speaker 1: and your partner is willing to give as much as
Speaker 1: you're willing to give, then he's also worth you leaning in,
Speaker 1: even if that means that you have to apologize or
Speaker 1: fix things, even if you feel it's not my fault,
Speaker 1: like put the ego to the side. Guys, it's not
Speaker 1: worth it. It's time wasted, it's energy wasted. And that's
Speaker 1: something that I have had to remind myself and just say,
Speaker 1: you know what, like, I love this person, and you
Speaker 1: got to pick and choose your battles, and this is
Speaker 1: one that I don't care to win, and you just
Speaker 1: push it to the side and you go and give
Speaker 1: your partner a kiss and just say, Babe, I love
Speaker 1: you and I'm sorry that I was not my best self.
Speaker 1: And hopefully he embraces you the way Amigo has because
Speaker 1: that's important because that gives you a safe place.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you, babe for.
Speaker 1: Being on the podcast. It was a beautiful conversation, So
Speaker 1: thank you for being on. People love to hear from us,
Speaker 1: and I'm excited to celebrate many one year anniversaries with you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, because.
Speaker 1: I wanted to feel like the first year all the time.
Speaker 3: If not better.
Speaker 2: I know, I know what you want.
Speaker 1: I can see up a Sando baby. Okay, basically that's
Speaker 1: why I wrote you that song.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 3: I love you.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for listening to the pod.
Speaker 1: If I could just ask you for something, just pray.
Speaker 1: Pray for your girl, Pray for her marriage, pray for
Speaker 1: her womb. Send me positive vibes. I love you, guys,
Speaker 1: and I'm really grateful that you guys choose to listen
Speaker 1: to Cheeky's and Chill Aroma Baby. This is a production
Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and the Micaela Podcast Network. Follow us on
Speaker 1: Instagram at Michael Dourha Podcasts, then follow me Cheeky's That's
Speaker 1: c A h I.
Speaker 2: Q U i s.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast