1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, Sophia Bush here. Welcome to work in Progress, 2 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 1: where I talked to people who inspire me about how 3 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: they got to where they are and where they think 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:24,239 Speaker 1: they're still going. On Friday of last week, I got 5 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:27,920 Speaker 1: to sit down with Cammy Crawford. Well we sat down 6 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 1: over a zoom call, but you know, staying home when 7 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 1: we can, and Cammy and I talked for over three hours. 8 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:38,880 Speaker 1: She is incredible. You probably know her from being the 9 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:42,559 Speaker 1: co host of MTVS Catfish, and she also happened to 10 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:46,279 Speaker 1: be Missed ten USA in two thousand ten. But this 11 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: week we went a little deeper than careers. We talked 12 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:54,480 Speaker 1: about Cammy's experience being a black woman in America right now, 13 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 1: how she's feeling the marches for Black Lives Matter across 14 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: the country, what defunding the police actually means in practical terms, 15 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 1: and so much more. She shared some disgusting, I mean 16 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: honestly insane stories about Donald Trump from when she participated 17 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 1: in the Miss Ta USA competition, and they need to 18 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,960 Speaker 1: come to light. We also talked about why there's nothing 19 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 1: wrong with talking about race and so much more, and 20 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: of course, as we normally do, we just don't write 21 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 1: in talking about how she's doing, and eventually we circled 22 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: back around too, learning about how she came to be 23 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:42,119 Speaker 1: the incredible woman that she is. Enjoy today's episode, Guys, 24 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: thanks for being here. You know we're recording this on 25 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: Brianna Taylor's what should be her seventh birthday. I'm something 26 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: about reading that just like sent me over the edge 27 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 1: and I just started bawling and I couldn't stop, and 28 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,560 Speaker 1: I cried until I went to sleep, and I could 29 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 1: not like regain control. It's just it's really it's really crazy, 30 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:17,079 Speaker 1: just everything that's been happening. But aside from that, I'm good. 31 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: I think for now. For now, we'll see every day 32 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: is different. It's like a roller coaster mm hmm. Yeah. 33 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: I mean the world feels like a roller coaster right now. 34 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: And and I think about it. I know how intense 35 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: the the reactions are that I feel in my own empathy, 36 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,919 Speaker 1: in my own body and my own emotions, and I'm 37 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 1: still having a proximal experience to the experience of your community. 38 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 1: M And I was talking to my best friend about 39 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:59,839 Speaker 1: this on Wednesday, and she was telling me how things 40 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 1: are going in Detroit right now, and and I just 41 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:08,360 Speaker 1: said that every single time I have that moment of 42 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,640 Speaker 1: like I'm so tired or I'm so sad, I just think, 43 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: how how is she feeling? How are the women in 44 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 1: my life that don't look like me, the women in 45 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 1: my life that look like you. How must you be feeling? 46 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 1: Because I am I am touching something that I feel 47 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: and feel for but still is not holy mine, And 48 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: I I wonder how are you, because I'm sure there 49 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:43,200 Speaker 1: are people listening who feel that, how are you taking 50 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,119 Speaker 1: care of yourself right now? What is the support that 51 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: you need to lighten that load that is on your 52 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,680 Speaker 1: shoulders and your heart right now? I think I'm still 53 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 1: trying to figure that out. And I appreciate you for 54 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: even saying that in the first place, like saying, it's 55 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,360 Speaker 1: not an experience that whole that's holy yours, because this 56 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: is an experience that the black community faces every day, 57 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 1: Like this is a weight that we carry on a 58 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:16,039 Speaker 1: regular daily basis. And so you know, this this moment 59 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: in time, while it's of course horrible and tragic and 60 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 1: you know, emotionally traumatic, all of those things are happening 61 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: at once, it's also not new for us. And that's 62 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 1: the worst part about it. So I I don't think 63 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 1: that throughout you know, recent history and all of the 64 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 1: other murders of black people by police officers that we've 65 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,279 Speaker 1: seen over the course of you know, the last few years. 66 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: The last one that hit me the way that this 67 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,359 Speaker 1: one is hitting me was Trayvon Martin, and that was 68 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:52,159 Speaker 1: like the first kind of catalyst for black lives matter, 69 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:55,120 Speaker 1: I think, And that was the first time that I 70 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 1: actually broke down about it. All the other ones after that, 71 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:02,560 Speaker 1: to be completely honest, it's like you become desensitized, and 72 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,360 Speaker 1: you almost questioned, like, am I crazy? Like is something 73 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: wrong with me? Like why do I not feel the 74 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 1: same way I felt then about all of these other situations, 75 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:15,880 Speaker 1: And it's because it happens all the time. Trayvon Martin 76 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: wasn't the first black boy to be murdered for no reason, 77 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: and you know, all of these other murders that have 78 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 1: happened by police or by you know, people who are racist. 79 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 1: It's not the first time this has been happening since 80 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 1: the beginning of time. And now being in this space 81 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 1: where there's so much more community, it actually makes me 82 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 1: feel a little bit better. It feels like I keep 83 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 1: saying that something about this time just feels different to me, 84 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: and I don't know what it is. I think I 85 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: think it's just everyone banning together and it just it 86 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: feels different. So, I I don't know, crying helps. Um. 87 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:59,159 Speaker 1: I also got a new like stationary bike in my 88 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:02,039 Speaker 1: apartment and I've just been like trying to ride it 89 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,280 Speaker 1: out and you know, tap it back as much as 90 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: I can, try to get out the that energy. And 91 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 1: then you know my boyfriend who is a black man 92 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 1: who has been out protesting three days in a row. 93 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 1: He went until curfew and even went back out to 94 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: like pass out waters to protesters and stuff like that. 95 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:25,840 Speaker 1: He's been a big inspiration for me for you know, 96 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: just like keeping it going. Like even last night when 97 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 1: I was breaking down, he was like, you have to 98 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 1: stay strong, Like we don't have a choice. We don't 99 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,159 Speaker 1: have a choice, so we have to keep going. So 100 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: that's my long winded way of saying. I do not 101 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:42,480 Speaker 1: have a self care routine at this time. Still trying 102 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 1: to kind of like figure things out as it goes along. 103 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 1: But I think that using my platform to speak and 104 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,920 Speaker 1: just like speak out the emotions has been really really helpful. 105 00:06:56,120 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: I think. So I think there is such profundity in 106 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,920 Speaker 1: allowing people into our vulnerability when we're going through something. 107 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:11,720 Speaker 1: And I've been so I'm like sitting here on the phone, 108 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 1: like you know, scrolling, and then I'm watching your stories 109 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,440 Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know, I'm like, no one's listening 110 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 1: to me a cheer through the phone. But okay, it's 111 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 1: energetically like maybe it works. Um. You have like you've 112 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: really been talking about this a lot on Instagram. You 113 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,280 Speaker 1: you said that you've been having a lot of conversations 114 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 1: with your mom and with your friends, and you've been 115 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: really open about this on your stories, And I'm wondering, 116 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: what does that kind of both like intergenerational and intra 117 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: generational conversation look like. Right now, I find that I'm 118 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: having so many really illuminating conversations, I know, with my parents. 119 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: You know, my dad is like this sweet seventy two 120 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 1: year old man from Canada who's like sending me povocal 121 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: memes on Instagram every day. And my dad said to me, 122 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,640 Speaker 1: he said, you know, your mom and I like, we 123 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 1: marched in the sixties and we marched against Vietnam, and 124 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 1: I've been so disillusioned and I thought, like when I 125 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 1: was young, like you. I used to think it mattered, 126 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: And I'm only realizing now that I'm getting inspired by 127 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 1: my daughter to have more uncomfortable conversations with my friends. Again, 128 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: I realized that I had kind of lost, that I'd 129 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 1: lost my my faith in in our ability to change anything, 130 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 1: and again having a proximal experience to what so many 131 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 1: Americans have every day. You know, to your point about 132 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,480 Speaker 1: your boyfriend and so many people in our communities, like 133 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: everyone's out protesting, were we are like the young protest 134 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:58,120 Speaker 1: political activist. You know, generation in comparison, what what happens 135 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:02,440 Speaker 1: across the generational line for you in those conversations that 136 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:07,120 Speaker 1: you're having with your mom. Yeah, so, I mean I 137 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,840 Speaker 1: can completely relate to that because on my mom's side 138 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: of the family, I'm first generation American. On my dad's 139 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 1: side of the family, my dad grew up in Detroit, Michigan, 140 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 1: but his mom grew up in West Virginia, and I 141 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 1: can only imagine what that's like. She she now passed, 142 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: But um, you know, from I have completely different points 143 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 1: of view. My mom was born and raised in Jamaica 144 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: on an island with people who looked like her. But 145 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 1: also our family is very multi racial I have, you know, 146 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: cousins that are Chinese. I have cousins that are German 147 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 1: with blonde hair and blue eyes. I have you know, 148 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 1: it's all over the place. And she was always raised 149 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 1: to love everyone. Everyone was the same, and she didn't 150 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:56,440 Speaker 1: experience racism until she moved to America when she was 151 00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: a teenager. And my grandmother, you know, she so my 152 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,680 Speaker 1: great grandfather is Indian and Cuban, but my great grandmother 153 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: was German and Irish, so you know, coming from that 154 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 1: kind of biracial background, but not being black or looking black. 155 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: When my grandmother moved to the States, she was able 156 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 1: to pass for white, and she she didn't even know 157 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 1: what racism was when she moved here. She she told 158 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,440 Speaker 1: me that she was actually at work one day and 159 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,439 Speaker 1: someone was like, yeah, so and so was a racist 160 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 1: their prejudice, And my grandma was like, are they going 161 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 1: to be okay? What is what do they have? Like 162 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,959 Speaker 1: she thought that it was like a disease, which it is, 163 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,160 Speaker 1: but she thought that it was like some type of 164 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 1: illness that they were going to go to the hospital 165 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:44,199 Speaker 1: for something. So, you know, having that side versus my 166 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 1: dad being uh six four, dark skinned black man from Detroit, 167 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 1: who had a completely different experience, who has had to 168 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 1: fight his way up the corporate ladder for positions that 169 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: he should have probably been see EEO of years ago, 170 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:06,200 Speaker 1: but that position always was given to someone who was 171 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: white over him, even if he had the better qualifications 172 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:14,200 Speaker 1: and the better resume. Those different opinions, I think are 173 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 1: the reason why I'm able to formulate more of like 174 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:22,240 Speaker 1: a world view of just life and race and colorism 175 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 1: and racism and just researching, like looking into these things. 176 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:32,079 Speaker 1: Because my mom is way more vocal about her childhood 177 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: and growing up and things like that than my dad is, 178 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,959 Speaker 1: probably because some traumatic stuff happened that he can't just 179 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:43,320 Speaker 1: can't like even think about to talk about. And that 180 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 1: kind of like generational pain and perspective is super eye 181 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 1: opening for me. I mean, I just got off the 182 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 1: phone with my grandmother before I got on this call, 183 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 1: and she was saying that when she moved to America, 184 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,400 Speaker 1: she was like, what I'm seeing now by police and 185 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 1: racists in this country is the same thing that I 186 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: heard them say to me because they thought that I 187 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 1: was white when I moved here in the first place 188 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:13,600 Speaker 1: in the seventies. Like she she was able to hear 189 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:18,200 Speaker 1: all of what everybody was saying from both sides because 190 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:22,320 Speaker 1: she passed for white. Think about that, having two black children, 191 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 1: because my grand my grandfather is a black Jamaican man, 192 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 1: having two black children, moving to a new country and 193 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 1: hearing the way that racist people think and feel about 194 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 1: black people, and you know that you're trying to bring 195 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 1: your children to this country, to Ohio. That's where she 196 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 1: moved from Jamaica. Nobody knows why. Everybody else moved to 197 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 1: Miami or New York or somewhere fun My grandmother moved 198 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 1: to Cleveland, Ohio, and so I can only imagine for her, 199 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 1: you know, the fear of that, like you go from 200 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:59,439 Speaker 1: a place that's so open and so you know, loving, 201 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:03,680 Speaker 1: like the the phrase the motto of Jamaica is out 202 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:08,600 Speaker 1: of everyone people, which means everyone is welcome, everyone is 203 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,320 Speaker 1: the same, everyone has loved every you know. And while 204 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 1: we do have our own issues with colors and things 205 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:19,439 Speaker 1: like that, in other countries, white supremacy is not generally 206 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:23,239 Speaker 1: one of them. So those are kind of the conversations 207 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,720 Speaker 1: that we're having. And you know, amongst my friends, it's 208 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 1: more just like pain and trying to figure out when 209 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 1: is this going to be enough, Like when are we 210 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 1: going to march enough? When are we going to protest enough? 211 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 1: When are we going to die enough? Like what is 212 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:42,480 Speaker 1: going to be the final nail in the coffin that 213 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,400 Speaker 1: it's going to be like, Okay, now we're ready to 214 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:48,480 Speaker 1: create change. So but I think both sides are are 215 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:52,240 Speaker 1: ready to fight, and they're like they're they're down for 216 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,320 Speaker 1: the cause like we were back in civil rights. And 217 00:13:55,360 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 1: I think that that is the most beautiful thing about that. Yeah, 218 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 1: I really I agree. I think we're seeing something be 219 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:11,560 Speaker 1: so collectively obvious, which always should have been obvious, you know, 220 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: like it's been time, but it's finally time, I hope. 221 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 1: And I really appreciate you know what you said about 222 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: how many more? Because I think it's important for anybody 223 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,840 Speaker 1: listening to this, who this conversation might be newer for 224 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,040 Speaker 1: that if you're sitting at home and you're wondering really 225 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: what that means, like, sit with the reality as a 226 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 1: listener that there have been generations of people who have 227 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 1: carried this burden, who have marched for simple things like 228 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 1: justice and a recognition of dignity, and that it's tiring 229 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:56,080 Speaker 1: we hear these conversations, especially now I think you know, 230 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,280 Speaker 1: Times Up and the Me Too movement have really brought 231 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:05,800 Speaker 1: crux of women's labor into a new conversation, and we're 232 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 1: acknowledging a unpaid labor for women. You know that that's 233 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:13,120 Speaker 1: something you and I can sit down and and like 234 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 1: wrap on another time. Is like, as we go through 235 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 1: as women in these industries, that that's the thing that 236 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 1: you and I get to share. And then I only 237 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,360 Speaker 1: proximately as a woman understand your experience in the industry 238 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 1: as a woman of color. And so I think you know, 239 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,400 Speaker 1: especially because I know a lot of women listen to 240 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,240 Speaker 1: this podcast if if you haven't been close to the 241 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 1: Race conversation as a listener, but you understand these conversations 242 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 1: about women's experiences and about the unpaid labor that women do, 243 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 1: and about the emotional toll and the exhaustion that unpaid 244 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 1: labor causes for women. I would just encourage you to 245 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,480 Speaker 1: as we go through this conversation, and as you think 246 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 1: about this conversation for the next couple of days, think 247 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: about what the unpaid layer of civil demonstration, what the 248 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:06,800 Speaker 1: actual toll the work that that requires and has required 249 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,000 Speaker 1: in the leadership of so many communities of color, and 250 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 1: how often the people who look like me follow your 251 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 1: community too slowly in in those spaces. You know. I 252 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 1: just think it's an important acknowledgement as we're talking about 253 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:28,280 Speaker 1: all of this. And I've had the privilege of sitting 254 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: on some very incredible Zoom calls all week with some 255 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 1: really incredible activists. And I got to sit in on 256 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:39,400 Speaker 1: a call with about two and fifty people a few 257 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 1: days ago, and we spoke to George Floyd's attorney and 258 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 1: and what amazed me about his speaking on justice and 259 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 1: on what happened to George Floyd was that he took 260 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 1: a moment and asked everyone on the call to lift 261 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: Brianna Taylor up. And he said, and I wrote it down, 262 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,200 Speaker 1: he said, sisters don't get the same reverence that we 263 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,640 Speaker 1: give to brothers when they get executed by the police. 264 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,880 Speaker 1: He said yeah, and he said, please do not let 265 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:16,200 Speaker 1: her be forgotten. And then I thought about the famous 266 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,880 Speaker 1: Malcolm X quote, and Malcolm X said, the most disrespected 267 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:24,240 Speaker 1: person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected 268 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:27,400 Speaker 1: person in America is the black woman. The most neglected 269 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:32,760 Speaker 1: person in America is the black woman. And you are 270 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,560 Speaker 1: you are nodding, and you clearly are not of the 271 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 1: generation of Malcolm X. So when we think about why 272 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 1: that was true in the civil rights marches are parents 273 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: protested in and we think about why that still feels 274 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 1: true when we're out marching in the streets for George 275 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 1: Floyd and for Brianna Taylor. Why why do you think 276 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,360 Speaker 1: that is? Why do you think that the intersectional reality 277 00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:03,560 Speaker 1: for black women is so so much more oppressed and 278 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 1: filled with so much more emotional labor. It's it's a 279 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,600 Speaker 1: thing I really want people who are listening to this 280 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: conversation to understand and think about. Yeah, I think that 281 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 1: it's a multitude of things. And I think that women 282 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,639 Speaker 1: who are listening, and I know you can relate. Every 283 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:23,200 Speaker 1: woman can relate on this level that even though as 284 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 1: women we are you know, emotional beings, we are always 285 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 1: seen as like the pillar of strength. We are always 286 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 1: seen as you know, the ones who just know, we 287 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,680 Speaker 1: just have the instincts, were born with it like that. 288 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: That is the overall, you know, generalization about women. We 289 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 1: we have it together, we know what we're doing. And 290 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:53,159 Speaker 1: then to add being black on top of that, I 291 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:58,680 Speaker 1: think that there is a I'm sure there's a much 292 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 1: deeper understanding of this, But the first thing that comes 293 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,680 Speaker 1: to mind for me is, you know, look at slavery. 294 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,199 Speaker 1: The reason why black slaves were chosen is because they 295 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 1: were seen as strong, the strongest. They could withstand it, 296 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,919 Speaker 1: They could be out in the heat, they could take it, 297 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,360 Speaker 1: they could take the pain, they could take. We were 298 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:22,639 Speaker 1: seen as less than we were seen as worker animals 299 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 1: like that was the overall view of black people at 300 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 1: that time and by probably some people still to this day. 301 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: So when you add that aspect of you can take it, 302 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,280 Speaker 1: you'll be fine, Like nobody's worried about you. Pick it 303 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,920 Speaker 1: back up, get back to work, do what you gotta do. 304 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:43,560 Speaker 1: On top of being a woman who you have it together, 305 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,680 Speaker 1: you already know what to do, you have the instincts, 306 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: you you've got this like, keep it going. There is 307 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 1: a certain level of exhaustion that you reach as a 308 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 1: black woman for always being told that you have to 309 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:00,160 Speaker 1: be strong because you don't have a choice, because as 310 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,080 Speaker 1: the world is not going to give you any passes 311 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:04,160 Speaker 1: because you are black. At the end of the day. 312 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,159 Speaker 1: On top of the fact that you know, being a woman, 313 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 1: you're just expected to get up, go do it. What 314 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 1: do you mean you're sick. You can't be sick. You've 315 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,200 Speaker 1: got kids take care of. You can't miss work. Like 316 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,640 Speaker 1: if you miss work, then the guy who works ten 317 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 1: times less than you is going to get your position. 318 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:27,159 Speaker 1: I think that there's a crossover there that just becomes 319 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:32,480 Speaker 1: more apparent as as you live the experience of being 320 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:36,040 Speaker 1: a black woman, and it is tiring. I can't lie 321 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 1: there there. I do want to acknowledge that there is 322 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 1: so much joy and culture and beauty and being a 323 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 1: black person, but there is there is a burden that 324 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:51,720 Speaker 1: we are born with that It's not just stories that 325 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,000 Speaker 1: are passed down from our parents. It's things that we've 326 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,840 Speaker 1: experienced and lived. It's things that I've experienced and lived. 327 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 1: And I even acknowledge my privilege as a light skinned 328 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:06,479 Speaker 1: black woman. There are things that my darker skinned sisters 329 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: will face that I probably won't. And there are situations 330 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:14,000 Speaker 1: that I'll be put in that maybe they won't be 331 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:18,159 Speaker 1: put in, And it's there's there's so many different layers, 332 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:23,800 Speaker 1: but my goal is that all of us are able 333 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,160 Speaker 1: to be heard because at the end of the day, 334 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:30,120 Speaker 1: black is black, and two a racist person being black 335 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,000 Speaker 1: is being black. To a misogynistic man. Being a woman 336 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:37,159 Speaker 1: is being a woman like it just is what it is. 337 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 1: M hmm, it feels like a good time again. I 338 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,600 Speaker 1: don't normally pause conversation to address the listeners so often, 339 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 1: but the conversation I think that we're having warrants a 340 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:55,480 Speaker 1: lot of just like asterisk points for introspection. You know, 341 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,440 Speaker 1: everyone who's listening to this. One of the things that 342 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:04,680 Speaker 1: Cammies highlighting here this assumption that you could take the pain, 343 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:09,680 Speaker 1: you could take the heat. That attitude from slavery, which 344 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:14,359 Speaker 1: is a of four hundred year old stain on where 345 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:18,679 Speaker 1: we live. That attitude is perpetuated into modern culture in 346 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,480 Speaker 1: a way that if you listening at home, are not 347 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,320 Speaker 1: aware of. I'd like to ask you, um, if you're 348 00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:27,400 Speaker 1: thinking about how you can show up for your neighbors 349 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,640 Speaker 1: and your community and for people of color right now, 350 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,399 Speaker 1: what I'd like you to do after this conversation is 351 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 1: get online and do a little bit of research. I 352 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 1: want you to understand the pay gap that women of 353 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 1: color face, which is that they make sixty four cents 354 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,040 Speaker 1: on average on the dollar that a white man makes. 355 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,960 Speaker 1: I want you all to understand the maternal mortality rate, 356 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,080 Speaker 1: the black women face which means that they die four 357 00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 1: times as often in childbirth than their white counterparts. I 358 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 1: want you to understand that there are studies that have 359 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:59,080 Speaker 1: been published by some of the most incredible medical institutions 360 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:03,720 Speaker 1: in America that highlight that doctors and medical professionals genuinely 361 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:08,200 Speaker 1: believe that black people feel less pain than white people 362 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:14,240 Speaker 1: in emergency rooms, hospitals, surgeries, et cetera. These are these 363 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:19,920 Speaker 1: are the generational shadows of what we consider very often 364 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 1: in society because it makes us more comfortable what we 365 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,800 Speaker 1: consider to be the past. The past is not in 366 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 1: the past, and it's not okay, and the systems will 367 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 1: continue to perpetuate that kind of disparate oppression unless we, 368 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,000 Speaker 1: the people who care enough to do something about it, 369 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 1: learn about the disparity in the first place, and then 370 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 1: actually stand up and do something about it. So you 371 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 1: guys have homework this week, but I know who our 372 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,359 Speaker 1: listeners are, and I know you'll actually do it. I 373 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,600 Speaker 1: want to stand up and literally clap for you because 374 00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:01,479 Speaker 1: all of that was everything, because that is a huge 375 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 1: part of what I think that people do not recognize. 376 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:10,399 Speaker 1: Like I was looking at some crazy conservative lunatic, no 377 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,480 Speaker 1: offense to anybody who considers itself to be conservative. But 378 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:17,159 Speaker 1: this person is actually crazy. And what's even craziers she 379 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,919 Speaker 1: happened to be a black woman who's actually running for 380 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 1: Congress in Georgia, so make sure you look out for her. Um. 381 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 1: But she made this tweet that said black lives matter 382 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:35,480 Speaker 1: until it's black women who are pregnant. Basically, she was 383 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:39,120 Speaker 1: alluding to the fact that black women get more abortions 384 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,800 Speaker 1: than any other race. I don't know the facts on that, 385 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 1: but basically, in her line of tweets, she was saying 386 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,439 Speaker 1: that black women have an issue with taking care of 387 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:55,760 Speaker 1: their children, with getting abortions and all of these crazy 388 00:24:56,080 --> 00:25:00,280 Speaker 1: just like generalizations, and I got so piste off. I 389 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,360 Speaker 1: had to respond, of course, but I'm just like, as 390 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,440 Speaker 1: a black woman, for you to say that when over 391 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,720 Speaker 1: the course of history, black women have been the known 392 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:15,200 Speaker 1: caretakers of the household for white households throughout time, like 393 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,480 Speaker 1: black women, you know, the black nanny, like we still 394 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,880 Speaker 1: see them till this day. This is something like there 395 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,439 Speaker 1: are plenty of white people, even friends of mine, who 396 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,200 Speaker 1: will say my nanny raised me more than my parents 397 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,440 Speaker 1: actually did, and she was black. You can't make those 398 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:34,200 Speaker 1: kinds of assumptions and generalizations, and that's just another added 399 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,639 Speaker 1: thing on top of you know, the medical sphere where 400 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 1: a black woman goes into the hospital and says, hey, 401 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 1: I'm having this pain and the doctors like, you'll be fine, 402 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:49,440 Speaker 1: take the title and all go home, and then she dies. It. 403 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:56,680 Speaker 1: It's there's so many layers two that kind of just 404 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 1: like being dismissed and be overlooked on top of oppression. Well, 405 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:08,639 Speaker 1: and it's interesting, you know. Serena Williams talked about that 406 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,800 Speaker 1: when she had her child, and I don't want to 407 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,320 Speaker 1: miss quote because it's been some time, but I was 408 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:17,320 Speaker 1: so just kind of like inspired and fist bumping reading 409 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,159 Speaker 1: the news at home that she would take that incredibly 410 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 1: personal experience and use it as a rallying cry. But 411 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,560 Speaker 1: she talked about how she was having incredible postpart and 412 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 1: pain and the doctors told her it was normal, and 413 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,880 Speaker 1: she advocated for herself and said, this is not normal, 414 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,800 Speaker 1: and they finally listened to her and tested her. And 415 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:39,680 Speaker 1: I believe she had like some sort of crazy plotting problem. 416 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:43,920 Speaker 1: You know, she could have died and and she saved 417 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:48,760 Speaker 1: herself in the medical institution, and you know, it isn't 418 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,360 Speaker 1: in the past. And then if I may, if I may, 419 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 1: I don't know who this is, Georgia, but I'm now furious. 420 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,760 Speaker 1: What bothers me about what this woman is saying is 421 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:01,880 Speaker 1: that again she's she's cherry picking her facts. She's not 422 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 1: examining what poverty and systems of oppression due to people 423 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:10,439 Speaker 1: and particularly women. She's also not acknowledging the fact this 424 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,080 Speaker 1: was the last time I looked this up. This was 425 00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 1: the statistics, So forgive me if it's changed a bit. 426 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,520 Speaker 1: It's been a few years, but I believe the number 427 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 1: is either sixty four or sixty of women who have 428 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:24,159 Speaker 1: abortions already have children. So we're not talking about you know, 429 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:28,200 Speaker 1: I feel like there's been this horrible pr game played 430 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: where like women who decide to make that very private 431 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 1: decision have been publicized irrationally as like these young harlots 432 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 1: who won't keep their legs closed. First of all, young 433 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,000 Speaker 1: women deserve to have sex just as much as young 434 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,480 Speaker 1: men do. And who do you think they're having sex 435 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,000 Speaker 1: with if they're getting pregnant, certainly not other women. Second 436 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:47,640 Speaker 1: of all, about this again, is that if we know 437 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,359 Speaker 1: that the predominant number of women who are choosing to 438 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:54,160 Speaker 1: terminate pregnancies already have children. They're choosing to terminate pregnancies 439 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,479 Speaker 1: so that they can take care of the children they have, 440 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,480 Speaker 1: so that they can financially provide for to the best 441 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 1: of their city, for children who are in their families. 442 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 1: Their husbands aren't getting judged, their partners aren't getting judged. 443 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:10,639 Speaker 1: And if we're talking about especially the rates of abortion 444 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,240 Speaker 1: in low income communities of color and the women in them, 445 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 1: were talking about communities that have been systemically oppressed, that 446 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,520 Speaker 1: live in deserts of opportunity, be it a food desert, 447 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 1: a job opportunity desert, a healthcare desert. How dare anyone 448 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:30,920 Speaker 1: say that generations of systemic tools of oppression, whether it 449 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:35,240 Speaker 1: be redlining or scientific experimenting on black women also look 450 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 1: at up. How dare someone suggests that that is not 451 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:42,400 Speaker 1: impacting the current health data of young women in America 452 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 1: who happen to be women of color. That makes me 453 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:48,400 Speaker 1: fucking pissed. It's more than just a trending topic. This 454 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,880 Speaker 1: is not going away. This has been around for centuries. 455 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 1: This is not the first time this is coming up 456 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,000 Speaker 1: in this unfortunately probably won't be the last. But if 457 00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,480 Speaker 1: we have the knowledge then moving forward, when it goes 458 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,080 Speaker 1: when it comes time, you know, to vote in November, 459 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 1: when it comes time for your local elections, because that's 460 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:09,960 Speaker 1: where the true change begins. You have to start voting 461 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,640 Speaker 1: on the local level. It comes time for those things, 462 00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,040 Speaker 1: we will remember this moment, and we will remember the 463 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,400 Speaker 1: research that we did and the education that we gained, 464 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 1: and how we tried to learn more, and we will 465 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:25,280 Speaker 1: utilize it better moving forward. I really hope that's my 466 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,400 Speaker 1: hope at least I really hope. So something that did 467 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,080 Speaker 1: make me hopeful, and just the way you said that 468 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 1: made me want to share it, and it's sort of 469 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:38,160 Speaker 1: crystallizes the too, you know, hot button voting topics we've 470 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,960 Speaker 1: just been talking about, because there's this big thing I 471 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,640 Speaker 1: think that so many of us who have been in 472 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,080 Speaker 1: these spaces and who've been doing all of this work 473 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:49,240 Speaker 1: as activists and community members for a long time, I 474 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,480 Speaker 1: can't wrap my head around how a person could be 475 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,360 Speaker 1: a single issue voter on the subject of abortion. Like 476 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,479 Speaker 1: I just can't, because I'm like, so you are telling 477 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 1: me that you believe a cluster of non viable cells 478 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,600 Speaker 1: to be more important than every living person on this planet. 479 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 1: Like you're telling me that if you were you know, 480 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,240 Speaker 1: picture it. You're in a burning building and at the 481 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,400 Speaker 1: end of the hall is a five year old child screaming, 482 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,360 Speaker 1: sobbing and terror thinking they're going to die, and a 483 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:22,440 Speaker 1: silver canister full of a bunch of fertilized embryos. You're 484 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 1: telling me you're you're going to leave the child to 485 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,719 Speaker 1: burn and save the embryos. That's what you're telling me. Like, 486 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 1: it doesn't no one would do that in practice. And 487 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:34,680 Speaker 1: and and I what then I have to do is 488 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,720 Speaker 1: take my thing where I go. I don't understand, and 489 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:38,479 Speaker 1: I have to take a deep breath and in the 490 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:40,680 Speaker 1: space that the air in my lungs is just created, 491 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,240 Speaker 1: I have to make just that much space to say, 492 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,840 Speaker 1: talk to me about where you come from, Like talk 493 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:47,320 Speaker 1: to me, will you talk to me about why? To 494 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:52,160 Speaker 1: help me understand. Yeah, it doesn't change my opinion. It 495 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,440 Speaker 1: helps me understand how to talk about it. And what 496 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:59,160 Speaker 1: is inspiring to me right now is that one of 497 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:03,520 Speaker 1: my best friend moms, who lives in southern California, who 498 00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:10,560 Speaker 1: is a very conservative white woman like conservative churchgoer, had 499 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,080 Speaker 1: a conversation with my one of my one of my 500 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,120 Speaker 1: best friends, one of my best guy friends who shall 501 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:18,680 Speaker 1: remain nameless for you know, purposes of this conversation. And 502 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,120 Speaker 1: he's a very progressive person and he's been out at 503 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 1: the marches with me and my whole crew all week 504 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,600 Speaker 1: and um for so much longer than this, Like he's 505 00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:32,360 Speaker 1: one of my oldest activist friends. And he said, you know, 506 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:35,760 Speaker 1: I had a conversation with my mom this week and 507 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 1: she said, you know, I just don't know how to 508 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,560 Speaker 1: reconcile with this because so many of the people who 509 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 1: care about these issues support the big issue I don't support. 510 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,960 Speaker 1: And and he saw something changed with his mom where 511 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,800 Speaker 1: he said, Mom, I get it, but you've known women 512 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,400 Speaker 1: who have had to make that decision and because you 513 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,680 Speaker 1: you know the circumstances, you haven't loved it for them, 514 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 1: but you've supported them. And he said, what I would 515 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,440 Speaker 1: offer you is that you're a mom, what if it 516 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:09,720 Speaker 1: was me? Because to to place weight in the idea 517 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:15,400 Speaker 1: of a of an eventual child that is not actually alive, 518 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:18,280 Speaker 1: that is not a baby that is in the world, 519 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 1: to place more weight on the idea of an eventual 520 00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:25,640 Speaker 1: child than on the life of a man, he was like, 521 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,280 Speaker 1: you saw you saw the photos of that man. That 522 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:31,720 Speaker 1: man was forty six years old, that man has children 523 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:36,240 Speaker 1: who now don't have a dad. Why isn't he standing 524 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,400 Speaker 1: on his own two feet worth more than the idea 525 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:42,840 Speaker 1: of a person who doesn't exist yet. And it was 526 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:49,000 Speaker 1: like a big aha moment for his mom, and I thought, oh, ship, 527 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,800 Speaker 1: if we're going to get to the ends, you know, 528 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,200 Speaker 1: I was just like this is like this is it 529 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,440 Speaker 1: Like it's it's actually really nice. It's nice over here. 530 00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 1: Like we're not here to to demean you. We're here 531 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,160 Speaker 1: to ask you to think more deeply about what you 532 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:10,120 Speaker 1: believe in versus the like storybook pr scheme of people 533 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:13,440 Speaker 1: who want you to vote in a way that actually 534 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:17,560 Speaker 1: goes against most of your interests. Right. I think that 535 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:22,480 Speaker 1: another big thing that I've been seeing, you know, from 536 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,960 Speaker 1: people who you know, maybe they were Bernie supporters, maybe 537 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:30,400 Speaker 1: they were Elizabeth Lawren supporters. A lot of people who 538 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:35,280 Speaker 1: aren't on board with who are democratic Canada's going to be, 539 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,240 Speaker 1: which is Joe Biden are like I'm voting Green Party 540 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:44,240 Speaker 1: because I don't trust that, and I'm like, uh no, 541 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,760 Speaker 1: please don't do that. Because they're like, we have to 542 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,640 Speaker 1: dismantle the two party system I'm like, yeah, let's do 543 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,920 Speaker 1: that after we make sure that the person who is 544 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,600 Speaker 1: a white supremacist who's in the White House is out 545 00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 1: of the White House. Let's work on that, Like, let's 546 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,320 Speaker 1: we'll get to that. We'll get to that hopefully one day. 547 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,239 Speaker 1: Hasn't happened since like the sred or whatever, but like, 548 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:12,399 Speaker 1: we'll we'll get to that eventually. But right now, we 549 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 1: have to come together. We cannot have people voting for 550 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,800 Speaker 1: harambe again, okay because they didn't want to vote for Hillary. 551 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:23,759 Speaker 1: We cannot have that. We have to be united at 552 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,920 Speaker 1: the polls and we have to get out there and 553 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,759 Speaker 1: we have we have to if you are if you 554 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 1: are a Black Lives Matter advocate and believer and consider 555 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,759 Speaker 1: yourself to be an ally or working towards it, and 556 00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,960 Speaker 1: you want to see this system change, we have got 557 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:46,440 Speaker 1: to have got to get Trump out of the White House. 558 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,520 Speaker 1: And I don't know any other way to put that 559 00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 1: other than that's just what we have to do. And 560 00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:55,120 Speaker 1: then when local voting happens, you've got to do the 561 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,080 Speaker 1: same thing again. Make sure that you're not voting these 562 00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:03,000 Speaker 1: people who have these you know, radical ideas of the 563 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,400 Speaker 1: way that you know policing is supposed to be and 564 00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:09,360 Speaker 1: letting people off for all of these horrible crimes, letting 565 00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:13,120 Speaker 1: police officers who are meant to protect and serve off 566 00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 1: with not even a slap on the risk. Brianna Taylor's 567 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:19,760 Speaker 1: killers are still working there, so we're there. Yep. Sandra 568 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,920 Speaker 1: Bland's murderers are still out there. They're still able to 569 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:27,480 Speaker 1: get jobs in law enforcement. As of now, I mean 570 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:31,320 Speaker 1: we have we have the four the four officers arrested 571 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:33,719 Speaker 1: in the murder of George Floyd. As of now, they 572 00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:37,399 Speaker 1: have been arrested, but they have been convicted yet, they 573 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:41,239 Speaker 1: have not been convicted. And that's how we have to 574 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,000 Speaker 1: think about it. The work is not done. People are 575 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 1: getting excited about the little winds, and I understand that, 576 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,680 Speaker 1: but it's so much more than that. And that's also 577 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:54,839 Speaker 1: one murder. There's many, many more, And what I want 578 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,320 Speaker 1: people to understand is celebrate the winds, but don't miss 579 00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,520 Speaker 1: the long game, Like when you talk about what's happening. 580 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,000 Speaker 1: When we see that these protests have been happening all 581 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:07,680 Speaker 1: week and we've been able to reallocate a hundred and 582 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,920 Speaker 1: fifty million dollars of the Los Angeles City budget for 583 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,480 Speaker 1: community investment. That's a hundred and fifty million dollars out 584 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,000 Speaker 1: of a three billion dollar budget that goes to the 585 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,560 Speaker 1: police and a three billion dollar budget that goes to 586 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:25,200 Speaker 1: the sheriff's So that's six billion dollars. We I read 587 00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:27,279 Speaker 1: that the l a p d Is reporting that they 588 00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:31,000 Speaker 1: have a one point eight billion dollar budget, but three 589 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,520 Speaker 1: billion sounds more like it's correct. I don't you know. 590 00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:37,720 Speaker 1: They just may be skewing the numbers to sound however 591 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,480 Speaker 1: they want to sound, so it looks like they're taking 592 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,560 Speaker 1: a big hit even though they're not. But the thing is, 593 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,319 Speaker 1: regardless of how the numbers are going to come out 594 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,759 Speaker 1: on paper, with what we're looking at and what you're 595 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:55,080 Speaker 1: also seeing online, fifty of California's budget goes to policing. 596 00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:59,319 Speaker 1: And you hear police say that they are overworked, that 597 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,640 Speaker 1: their department are tasked with too much, And it's like, well, yeah, okay, 598 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,120 Speaker 1: why do we call the police when someone's having a 599 00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,839 Speaker 1: mental health crisis? Why do we call the police if 600 00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:09,920 Speaker 1: we get an offender vendor? Isn't that a waste of 601 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,320 Speaker 1: their time? Aren't they supposed to be investigating like murders 602 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:16,000 Speaker 1: and things? Shouldn't there just be like a like a 603 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:20,319 Speaker 1: traffic enforcement office if we and this is where this 604 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,680 Speaker 1: argument for defunding comes from. What it means is a 605 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:27,200 Speaker 1: partial divestment. What it means is a reallocation of funds. 606 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:31,400 Speaker 1: What it means is rather than investing. Whether again, whether 607 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,399 Speaker 1: we say that it shakes out to be one point 608 00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:37,120 Speaker 1: or three billion dollars in policing just in Los Angeles, 609 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:41,240 Speaker 1: I'm not talking about California. We could pay for housing 610 00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:44,000 Speaker 1: for the homeless. We could pay for addiction treatment services. 611 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:47,359 Speaker 1: We could pay for domestic violence shelters. We could pay 612 00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:51,440 Speaker 1: for better food in our schools, computer labs in every school. 613 00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:54,239 Speaker 1: We could upgrade our education systems. We could do so 614 00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,840 Speaker 1: much with that money that would lower any reason that 615 00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:02,279 Speaker 1: police are ever even called, and so police could work 616 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:05,040 Speaker 1: less on the things they shouldn't be doing in the 617 00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:08,200 Speaker 1: first place. There we could ease the stress on their department, 618 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:13,200 Speaker 1: and we could quite literally change the makeup of our city. 619 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,320 Speaker 1: Like we don't really have any more money for parks 620 00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:19,719 Speaker 1: and wreck because it's all going to policing. And it's 621 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,960 Speaker 1: like everybody I know wants to take their kids to 622 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,520 Speaker 1: the park. It's not like you're allowed to take your 623 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,399 Speaker 1: kid to the police station and like leave them there 624 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:29,600 Speaker 1: like it's daycare. You know, we need we need investment 625 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:33,440 Speaker 1: in these things, and and it would actually all the 626 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:38,960 Speaker 1: data shows be better for everyone. So that's why, like 627 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,680 Speaker 1: when we look at stuff like this, I say all 628 00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:45,560 Speaker 1: of that only to echo your point that local elections matter, 629 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,600 Speaker 1: your local judges, your local d as, the people who 630 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:52,680 Speaker 1: we elect in our cities. When people, to your point, 631 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,680 Speaker 1: are like I don't believe in either party, it's like, well, 632 00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:57,480 Speaker 1: guess what. You are an adult and you don't get 633 00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,120 Speaker 1: to throw a temper tantrum in the sandbox anymore and 634 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,560 Speaker 1: say I don't want to. You have to you participate, 635 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,760 Speaker 1: or you are taking the side of the oppressor, period, 636 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,480 Speaker 1: end of story. Where you can be an activist, where 637 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,520 Speaker 1: you can show what you that you don't believe in 638 00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:14,080 Speaker 1: a two party system, where that you're not exactly totally 639 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,920 Speaker 1: thrilled with a candidate again, pull up your pants. I 640 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:19,680 Speaker 1: don't care. Where you can show that is in your 641 00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:24,600 Speaker 1: local elections. Get involved in local politics, know who's running 642 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,600 Speaker 1: in your city. That's where you get to do that stuff. 643 00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:29,799 Speaker 1: And if you want to press if you don't, let's 644 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,880 Speaker 1: okay again, argument's sake, you don't love Joe Biden. If 645 00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:36,520 Speaker 1: you want to press Joe Biden, elect progressive mayors and governors, 646 00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:40,040 Speaker 1: they'll do that. They'll do that with the compress the Senate, 647 00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 1: they will do that. And what I would like to say, again, 648 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,839 Speaker 1: whether he's your perfect candidate or not, I would so 649 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,800 Speaker 1: much rather have a man who worked in the service 650 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:52,439 Speaker 1: of greatness of our first black president, who launched It's 651 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,319 Speaker 1: on us to combat sexual assault on college campuses and 652 00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,920 Speaker 1: told boys to get their ship together. I would so 653 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:01,720 Speaker 1: much would have that man with his imperfect record, which 654 00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,360 Speaker 1: most people in his age have, unfortunately, but it's a 655 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:08,280 Speaker 1: reality of age and bad decision making that was very 656 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:12,520 Speaker 1: normal in some of those instances historically. I would rather 657 00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:17,760 Speaker 1: have somebody who has consistently tried and stumbled, but tried 658 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:22,560 Speaker 1: to grow and served people who don't look like him, 659 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:26,319 Speaker 1: who don't have the body he has. Then a white supremacist, 660 00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,680 Speaker 1: Nazi sympathizer in the White House, like this doesn't feel 661 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:34,520 Speaker 1: like a choice. Yeah, it's very obvious, and it's plainest day. 662 00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:38,080 Speaker 1: And if you cannot look at the way my grandma 663 00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:41,240 Speaker 1: and I were just talking about this, at the way 664 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:46,799 Speaker 1: that he is inciting violence by the police force against 665 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,960 Speaker 1: people of color and black people just in general, but 666 00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:54,000 Speaker 1: against even our allies, are white allies who are protesting 667 00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:58,320 Speaker 1: alongside us. The footage looks like the Civil Rights movement. 668 00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:01,680 Speaker 1: It looks like the Eight Allies that came down to 669 00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:05,600 Speaker 1: protests and march with Martin Luther King Jr. It looks 670 00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:08,719 Speaker 1: like that, like the people who if you, if you've 671 00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:12,160 Speaker 1: chosen now you're a white person and you've chosen to 672 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:15,480 Speaker 1: to have black people's back, you might as well be 673 00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:17,359 Speaker 1: black and we're going to treat you the same way. 674 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:22,719 Speaker 1: That is how the police have been treating all of us, 675 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,439 Speaker 1: like it's a collective group. And if you cannot see that, 676 00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,680 Speaker 1: I mean, I was talking about policing on my stories 677 00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:30,839 Speaker 1: last night and I finally posted an i G TV 678 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,719 Speaker 1: video about it because people wanted it. But I know 679 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,080 Speaker 1: it's going to get flat. But the way that policing 680 00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:43,480 Speaker 1: even began was with racism, with white supremacy, with KKK members. 681 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:47,959 Speaker 1: That is how policing began, to police black people and 682 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,320 Speaker 1: make sure that there would be no uprising of freed 683 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:55,520 Speaker 1: slaves who then wanted to go and retaliate against their 684 00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:59,600 Speaker 1: old masters. To make sure that there weren't you know, 685 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,719 Speaker 1: black people who maybe had come into a little money, 686 00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,680 Speaker 1: who were trying to buy property and actually establish something 687 00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:09,359 Speaker 1: for themselves. That is how policing began. And then you 688 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:12,120 Speaker 1: have these KKK members who are a part of the 689 00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:18,280 Speaker 1: now official police force, who are teaching the next generation 690 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:21,040 Speaker 1: of cops, and it continues on and on and on 691 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,880 Speaker 1: and on. So you know, there's a lot of people 692 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,960 Speaker 1: who will say, you can't argue that, oh, the president 693 00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:28,600 Speaker 1: is not all that bad now he is. He's a 694 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,319 Speaker 1: piece of ship. That's the end of discussion. But there 695 00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,719 Speaker 1: are people who will argue, not all police are bad. 696 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,040 Speaker 1: And I know that my uncle was a police officer. 697 00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,120 Speaker 1: I know that not all props are bad. But when 698 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:40,799 Speaker 1: you are a part of a system that has been 699 00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:48,680 Speaker 1: racially unjust for centuries and for you know, years by 700 00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:52,760 Speaker 1: even in most of our parents lifetimes, police were KKK 701 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,480 Speaker 1: members even now too, Like as of last year, I 702 00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:59,719 Speaker 1: think that was the last um kind of notable uh 703 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,719 Speaker 1: case of a person who was in the police force. 704 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:04,359 Speaker 1: They went to his house and they saw a bunch 705 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:09,960 Speaker 1: of KKK memberabilia Like that was last year nineteen. Think 706 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,480 Speaker 1: about how many more are there now like it? This 707 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:18,520 Speaker 1: has not changed. The racist rhetoric and this kind of 708 00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:25,360 Speaker 1: just unjustness about the entire thing, and the preconceived notions 709 00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:28,000 Speaker 1: and the stereotypes and things like that have been passed down. 710 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,279 Speaker 1: These are not these are not new things. This is 711 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:33,640 Speaker 1: not something that's made up. This is this is at 712 00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:37,120 Speaker 1: the crux of what policing is and what it has 713 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:40,200 Speaker 1: always been. And I think that that can be really 714 00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:43,680 Speaker 1: hard for people to understand. And look, I get it, 715 00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:47,239 Speaker 1: I like you. I have. I have some friends who 716 00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:51,439 Speaker 1: are cops, who are people who I love and who 717 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:54,440 Speaker 1: I trust and who I ask a lot of questions too. 718 00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:59,319 Speaker 1: And here the way that I had this conversation with them, 719 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:03,200 Speaker 1: because one of him reached out to me year years 720 00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:06,719 Speaker 1: back and said, like, I gotta admit, I'm having a 721 00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:11,239 Speaker 1: really hard time with the way you talk about police brutality, 722 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:13,680 Speaker 1: like you don't know what we're up against, and like 723 00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:15,480 Speaker 1: you know me, and you know I'm not like that. 724 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:19,560 Speaker 1: And I was like, but here's the thing I and 725 00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:21,799 Speaker 1: I said this to him, and it was a hard conversation, 726 00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:25,480 Speaker 1: but I was like, look, I went through like a 727 00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:29,280 Speaker 1: police boot camp to do a job. And I said, 728 00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:33,960 Speaker 1: I will never forget that my team leader said to me, 729 00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,120 Speaker 1: you know, obviously, like you try to get out of 730 00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,080 Speaker 1: a situation on violently. I was like, okay with that 731 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,520 Speaker 1: one sentences, and teach me how to do that. And 732 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,240 Speaker 1: he said, but you know, when you draw your weapon, 733 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:45,880 Speaker 1: you have to know you're drawing your weapon because you're 734 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:49,200 Speaker 1: gonna use it, and you have to know that you're 735 00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,920 Speaker 1: going to take somebody's life. And I was like, but 736 00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:56,000 Speaker 1: I don't understand why, Like why why don't you especially 737 00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,960 Speaker 1: I go, okay, let's say, for argument's sake, this person 738 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,000 Speaker 1: is a suspect in some thing. They're part of a 739 00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:04,279 Speaker 1: larger I don't know, crime organization that you want information on. 740 00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:09,959 Speaker 1: I don't understand why, Like why wouldn't you shoot someone 741 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:13,440 Speaker 1: in the leg to deter them exactly keep them alive? 742 00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:17,359 Speaker 1: And he he goes, well, because then they sue. And 743 00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:22,160 Speaker 1: I was like, well, imagine what imagine what happens when 744 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:24,920 Speaker 1: they die? But you know, it was such a and 745 00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:28,600 Speaker 1: and it didn't seem weird to him, and and I 746 00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:30,759 Speaker 1: used that example and I said to my friend who 747 00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:35,240 Speaker 1: has a cop, I said, so here's I came into 748 00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:38,400 Speaker 1: that room as a new person, and I was shook 749 00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:43,360 Speaker 1: by that answer. Shook by that answer, and I said, 750 00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,480 Speaker 1: but I've worked in a toxic working environment where it 751 00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,680 Speaker 1: got so bad, and it was so bad for so 752 00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:52,279 Speaker 1: long that to what you were saying earlier about the 753 00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:55,120 Speaker 1: deaths you see on the news, I got desensitized to 754 00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:58,680 Speaker 1: it and and stuff that was really gnarly. I knew 755 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,759 Speaker 1: it was bad, like the everyday stuff I sort of 756 00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:04,440 Speaker 1: was just tuning out to. And it wasn't until I 757 00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,480 Speaker 1: left it and I started to talk to other people 758 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:10,320 Speaker 1: about what I've been going through, and their jaws would drop, 759 00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,000 Speaker 1: and some people would start crying, and people would get 760 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:16,600 Speaker 1: really angry, and I was like, Oh, all of that 761 00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:23,799 Speaker 1: was really bad. Yeah, oh, and it's not normal. And 762 00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:29,080 Speaker 1: I think toxic systems, when you are in them every day, 763 00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,359 Speaker 1: you begin to have a tolerance for toxicity that you 764 00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:36,240 Speaker 1: are unaware of. So when we talk about your family 765 00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:39,240 Speaker 1: members or the people who I know, I don't believe 766 00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,840 Speaker 1: them to be toxic people. What I believe is that 767 00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:46,680 Speaker 1: they are subconsciously being dulled to toxicity. What I believe 768 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:51,920 Speaker 1: is that the system, to your point, is the problem. 769 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,879 Speaker 1: The system, not only you know. You reference the era 770 00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:58,920 Speaker 1: of the freed slaves, and which is an ironic thing 771 00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,440 Speaker 1: because I'm like those people, we're not free. But okay, 772 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:06,160 Speaker 1: but again, was never abolished. But you know, white people, 773 00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:12,160 Speaker 1: do your homework please, um, But I think about Yes, 774 00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:16,239 Speaker 1: there were these KKK patrols, but even prior to that, 775 00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:20,560 Speaker 1: the origins of policing in the American South come from 776 00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:24,120 Speaker 1: networks of white men who volunteered to be slave catchers, 777 00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:30,040 Speaker 1: who volunteered to quote unquote capture people's property and return 778 00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:33,920 Speaker 1: it to them. So policing has quite literally been built 779 00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:38,080 Speaker 1: on the protection of property over black bodies, because back 780 00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:42,279 Speaker 1: then black bodies were property, And now we put black 781 00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:46,279 Speaker 1: bodies in prison at a an exponential rate to their 782 00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,840 Speaker 1: white counterparts, and we make them do prison labor for 783 00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:52,400 Speaker 1: twenty cents an hour, which is really like an infantesimal 784 00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:58,440 Speaker 1: step above slavery. Yes, so the slavery was not abolished, 785 00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:01,520 Speaker 1: it was redesigned. And if anybody listening wants to know 786 00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:05,000 Speaker 1: more about that, the thirteenth documentary by avad Rene is 787 00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:09,160 Speaker 1: like the that's where you start the knowledge. Because that 788 00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:14,360 Speaker 1: it opened my eyes. I could not believe the way 789 00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:16,680 Speaker 1: that the system has been able to get away with 790 00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:18,319 Speaker 1: what they've been able to get away with for all 791 00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:21,120 Speaker 1: these years, but so much of it I think happens 792 00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:23,480 Speaker 1: behind closed doors, and so much of it is built 793 00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,439 Speaker 1: on this idea. Look, we all want to have a hero. 794 00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,160 Speaker 1: We all want to know we have someone to call. 795 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:33,640 Speaker 1: We all we lionize our law enforcement because we love 796 00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:35,600 Speaker 1: the idea of being able to call someone when we're 797 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:39,080 Speaker 1: in distress. And for the people who show up and 798 00:48:39,120 --> 00:48:42,040 Speaker 1: help you when you are in distress, that is true. 799 00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:47,400 Speaker 1: But what happens when so much more in a ratio 800 00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:51,160 Speaker 1: in public health data, so much more often those people 801 00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:54,000 Speaker 1: show up and people get hurt. I think it's hitting 802 00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:57,480 Speaker 1: people now because now everyone's phone is its own TV station, 803 00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:01,279 Speaker 1: and all these people who went out to protests everywhere, 804 00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,600 Speaker 1: we're showing showing these videos. I mean, I was standing 805 00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:07,040 Speaker 1: on Third Street in l A and I saw a 806 00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:09,480 Speaker 1: kid who, by the way, happened to be a white kid, 807 00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,840 Speaker 1: who had gotten in the front to stand in front 808 00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:14,400 Speaker 1: of black people. A line of white people did this, 809 00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:16,239 Speaker 1: and I was like, what am I seeing here? Like 810 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,560 Speaker 1: this is amazing and I'm watching this like gawky tall, 811 00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:22,520 Speaker 1: He couldn't have been more than twenty two year old 812 00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,480 Speaker 1: white kid with his hands in the air, screaming and 813 00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:26,640 Speaker 1: my hands are up, don't hit me. And a police 814 00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:29,200 Speaker 1: officer is beating the ship out of him with a baton. 815 00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:33,160 Speaker 1: And this was a down a line of people. Two 816 00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:35,840 Speaker 1: of my friends got shot with rubber bullets. I watched 817 00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:39,160 Speaker 1: videos of people getting run over by the police, with cars, 818 00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:43,200 Speaker 1: getting run over with horses, people getting shoved and hit 819 00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:47,240 Speaker 1: for absolutely no reason. Peaceful protesters screaming, were being peaceful, 820 00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:50,440 Speaker 1: don't shoot at us, were being peaceful, please stop, and 821 00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:54,279 Speaker 1: it wasn't happening. And then to your point, we hear 822 00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:56,440 Speaker 1: that so he could take a photo op, which, by 823 00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:59,320 Speaker 1: the way, again look it up. He copied an exact 824 00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:02,640 Speaker 1: pose of h lers holding a bible. Donald Trump did 825 00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:04,600 Speaker 1: a photo op in front of a church holding a 826 00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:07,480 Speaker 1: Bible in the air as a signal to all of 827 00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:12,520 Speaker 1: these white supremacist terrorists. And he did so by clearing 828 00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,480 Speaker 1: a peaceful protest in Lafayette Square in front of the 829 00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:18,640 Speaker 1: White House with tear gas and rubber bullets. Tear gas 830 00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:22,960 Speaker 1: for anyone who cares to learn. We're going to school today, everybody, 831 00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,520 Speaker 1: for anyone who cares to learn, is actually illegal to 832 00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:28,640 Speaker 1: use against your own citizens under the Geneva Conventions. So 833 00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:30,960 Speaker 1: we are under the order of Bill Barr at the 834 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,839 Speaker 1: exit at the executive order of the President, committing war 835 00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:37,319 Speaker 1: crimes against American citizens that are being carried out by 836 00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:40,640 Speaker 1: the very people who we pay, by the way to 837 00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:42,920 Speaker 1: keep us safe. They're supposed to keep the people safe, 838 00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,560 Speaker 1: not the property safe. And that is where the systemic 839 00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:48,840 Speaker 1: root of racism and policing shows its ugly head, because 840 00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:58,719 Speaker 1: we still see police protecting property not people. A man, Sophia, Yes, exactly, 841 00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:00,840 Speaker 1: And you know what's ze I got a d M 842 00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:06,280 Speaker 1: the other day from um non black person who was like, well, 843 00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:08,279 Speaker 1: I don't. I just don't get it. Like, if you don't, 844 00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:11,480 Speaker 1: if you don't trust the police to protect you, who 845 00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,640 Speaker 1: do you call when something goes wrong? And I really 846 00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:17,120 Speaker 1: had to think about it because I was like, as 847 00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:18,879 Speaker 1: much as I would love to call the police when 848 00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:22,440 Speaker 1: something goes wrong, they're not the first person that comes 849 00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:25,120 Speaker 1: to mind. I would call my boyfriend, or I would 850 00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:27,840 Speaker 1: call my male cousins, or you know, even my uncle 851 00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:29,640 Speaker 1: that I said was a cop. I would trust him 852 00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:33,640 Speaker 1: way more than just any random police officer that's supposed 853 00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:35,839 Speaker 1: to be coming to my aid, which we know living 854 00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:39,080 Speaker 1: in l A. There there was a time once when 855 00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:40,360 Speaker 1: I did have to call the police, and I was 856 00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:42,399 Speaker 1: put on hold like twenty times, and then it took 857 00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:46,359 Speaker 1: forty minutes before somebody actually even drove by, and he 858 00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:48,279 Speaker 1: wasn't even the one who was sent to help me. 859 00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:50,359 Speaker 1: I had to go and cross the street and ask 860 00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:51,919 Speaker 1: him to come and help me because I was being 861 00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:55,120 Speaker 1: verbally assaulted and almost physically assaulted by a man who 862 00:51:55,200 --> 00:52:00,919 Speaker 1: hit my car, Like I'm sorry, No, we don't have 863 00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:04,200 Speaker 1: the same experience with the police. We we don't and 864 00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:07,920 Speaker 1: it's not okay, Like I'm not going to say that 865 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:11,920 Speaker 1: it is, but I think when people here defund the police, 866 00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:14,840 Speaker 1: they're like, what does that mean, Like you're just going 867 00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:16,759 Speaker 1: to take all the money away from police, Like, no, 868 00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:20,640 Speaker 1: that's not the idea. And I think that most officers 869 00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:25,800 Speaker 1: would probably be happy, happier at least to have the 870 00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:31,000 Speaker 1: support of, you know, more community outreach and people that 871 00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:32,839 Speaker 1: are able to come and help us out when things 872 00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:36,239 Speaker 1: like this happen, so that they don't have to, you know. 873 00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:39,879 Speaker 1: And I think that there's just so much there's so 874 00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:43,160 Speaker 1: much work that needs to be done within the police 875 00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:46,799 Speaker 1: system just in general. And you know, you also have 876 00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:48,840 Speaker 1: the people who are like, well, cops put their lives 877 00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:51,480 Speaker 1: on the line for us every day, and they're probably scared. Yeah, 878 00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:55,040 Speaker 1: I'm sure they are. But I'm also sure and positive 879 00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:58,600 Speaker 1: that putting rookie cops in some of the worst crime 880 00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:02,120 Speaker 1: neighborhoods as like a hazy process is probably a shitty idea. 881 00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:05,960 Speaker 1: And I'm sure that even still with all of their 882 00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:09,279 Speaker 1: police training, because I do know that cops get some 883 00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:13,720 Speaker 1: type of like race training to know how to handle 884 00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:18,040 Speaker 1: people of different communities and different races. At that particular 885 00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:21,440 Speaker 1: point when you are in your late twenties or thirties 886 00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:23,359 Speaker 1: and you have now become a cup and now you're 887 00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:28,319 Speaker 1: taking this race training, you already have your ideas and 888 00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:32,880 Speaker 1: your own stereotypes about people of color in different people 889 00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,759 Speaker 1: before you even get that kind of training, and you're 890 00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:39,520 Speaker 1: going to follow the order of your superiors, who most 891 00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:41,879 Speaker 1: likely came up in a different era than you did. 892 00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:45,640 Speaker 1: And something I would like to highlight again, and I 893 00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:48,759 Speaker 1: say this again with a deep amount of love for 894 00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:53,280 Speaker 1: the people who I know in law enforcement. The training 895 00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,640 Speaker 1: isn't enough, and they'll tell you that. They may not 896 00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:57,319 Speaker 1: tell you that on the news, but when you have 897 00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:59,680 Speaker 1: a friend on the force, they will tell you some 898 00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:03,719 Speaker 1: ship that is really hard to hear. This is this 899 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:07,640 Speaker 1: is not this can't just be blamed on the guys 900 00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:09,479 Speaker 1: who are signing up to be on the force because 901 00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:11,920 Speaker 1: they want to quote unquote protect their city. It is 902 00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:14,239 Speaker 1: a system that is setting them up to fail and 903 00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:16,400 Speaker 1: is setting them and is setting them up to be 904 00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:24,279 Speaker 1: cultured by this insidious disparity that they don't even necessarily 905 00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:26,840 Speaker 1: know about. And you know, obviously we know there's some 906 00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:29,399 Speaker 1: guys who sign up because they just like they want 907 00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:31,040 Speaker 1: to be badge billies and they want to carry guns, 908 00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,920 Speaker 1: and that's the whole other scary thing. But this is 909 00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:36,120 Speaker 1: something we need to address. We need to address why 910 00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:39,480 Speaker 1: cops get four hours, four hours of training on what 911 00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,480 Speaker 1: to do in a mental health crisis. And it's not 912 00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:43,960 Speaker 1: actually a class. It is a booklet that they are 913 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:47,719 Speaker 1: given that they estimate takes four hours to read. They 914 00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:51,200 Speaker 1: never have training with a person on how to de 915 00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:55,560 Speaker 1: escalate a situation with a mentally ill individual. How can 916 00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:57,720 Speaker 1: we then expect them to go out and de escalate 917 00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:01,440 Speaker 1: these situations with any kind of accuracy. And the thing is, 918 00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:05,000 Speaker 1: we have social workers, we have experts in the city 919 00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:08,080 Speaker 1: who know how to do this. There could be completely 920 00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:12,560 Speaker 1: non violent interactions happening anytime someone has a mental health problem. 921 00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:15,680 Speaker 1: If we had a different number to call. And this 922 00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:18,200 Speaker 1: is what the idea of defunding the police means. It 923 00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:23,200 Speaker 1: means reallocate the funds, like why are we paying I 924 00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:26,279 Speaker 1: was at a protest on Tuesday. We were to city Box. 925 00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:33,280 Speaker 1: There were five helicopters, five police helicopters circling over us, perfectly, 926 00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:37,640 Speaker 1: perfectly peaceful. Yes there was chanting, Yes there were speakers. 927 00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:41,160 Speaker 1: It was beautiful, like so much so that the cops 928 00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:44,280 Speaker 1: actually put away their riot gear. But there were five 929 00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:48,640 Speaker 1: police helicopters circling above us. And if a helicopter costs 930 00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:50,759 Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars a day to keep in the air, 931 00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:55,480 Speaker 1: and like three million dollars a chopper, what could we 932 00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:59,920 Speaker 1: be doing with that money? You know, let's put that 933 00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:02,919 Speaker 1: into schools, Let's put that money into our kids. Let's 934 00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:04,920 Speaker 1: put that money into people in our communities who are 935 00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:09,920 Speaker 1: suffering right right, because living in l A. You cannot 936 00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:14,880 Speaker 1: deny that the homeless population in l A is astronomical. 937 00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:21,480 Speaker 1: It isable absolutely ridiculous the way that we treat are 938 00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:25,480 Speaker 1: homeless in this city. And imagine if that money was 939 00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:29,680 Speaker 1: put towards that, put towards more housing, put to more, 940 00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:35,800 Speaker 1: put towards more shelters. Like it could it could change, 941 00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:38,600 Speaker 1: it could change everything. It could change everything. But they 942 00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:42,880 Speaker 1: would rather put what did you say? Into police? But 943 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,920 Speaker 1: it's actually fifty four point eight percent of our budget 944 00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:50,560 Speaker 1: goes into policing, and it's something like another it's either 945 00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:53,160 Speaker 1: twenty nine or thirty two. I'm trying to remember the 946 00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:56,560 Speaker 1: pie chart in my head. Um goes into fire, and 947 00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:59,640 Speaker 1: like obviously in southern California we need an awful lot 948 00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:02,200 Speaker 1: of in smen fire. It's a terrifying right we go 949 00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:04,400 Speaker 1: through here. I am by no means saying they should 950 00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:07,719 Speaker 1: be making less. But why why is fire only a 951 00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:11,799 Speaker 1: fractional percentage of policing? Why aren't they equal? Why isn't 952 00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:14,640 Speaker 1: policing reduced to be equal to fire? And then we 953 00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:17,600 Speaker 1: have all these other social service programs that, to your point, 954 00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:22,040 Speaker 1: take those issues off the plates of the police, and 955 00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:25,240 Speaker 1: everybody has an easier time doing their jobs and can 956 00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:30,600 Speaker 1: do their jobs more specifically right and more efficiently. Yeah, 957 00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:33,320 Speaker 1: I mean we should just march down there and have 958 00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:35,400 Speaker 1: a conversation with them, because I think we just figured 959 00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:39,400 Speaker 1: it out Honestly, I'm like, I'm like Mr Mayor Garcetti, sir, 960 00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:45,520 Speaker 1: let's go, oh my gosh. I it's it's so disappointing 961 00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:54,280 Speaker 1: to see, but it's disappointing nationwide. Like it really is 962 00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:59,560 Speaker 1: mind boggling to me. The people who and I don't 963 00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:01,479 Speaker 1: know if they were like this before. You have people 964 00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:03,720 Speaker 1: who are over zealous before they joined the police horse 965 00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:05,800 Speaker 1: and then they get a badge and a gun and 966 00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:09,920 Speaker 1: they're like, you know, ready to shoot it. But I 967 00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:15,320 Speaker 1: just we know, we know that all cops are not bad. 968 00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:17,240 Speaker 1: We know that there are good cops. We've seen the 969 00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,880 Speaker 1: videos of the good cops who are you know, marching 970 00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:22,960 Speaker 1: alongside the protesters, and all of that is well and beautiful. 971 00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:26,640 Speaker 1: But I read something the other day that says, you know, 972 00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:29,280 Speaker 1: in the medical system, you don't say like, oh, that's 973 00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:32,360 Speaker 1: just you know, one really horrible doctor. Not all doctors 974 00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:36,040 Speaker 1: are bad. No, one horrible doctor makes doctors look bad. 975 00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,600 Speaker 1: That is that is what happens, and that doctor loses 976 00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:43,280 Speaker 1: their license. I saw a similar version of a tweet 977 00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:46,000 Speaker 1: which I really loved, and somebody said, okay, guys, let's 978 00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:49,120 Speaker 1: talk teachers unions. When a bunch of teachers god forbid, 979 00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:52,320 Speaker 1: find out a teacher is a pedophile. They don't say 980 00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:55,400 Speaker 1: he's not that bad. They fire him and say he 981 00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:59,720 Speaker 1: doesn't represent the rest of us. Yes, exactly what what? 982 00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:03,520 Speaker 1: Where is the disconnect here? And and you know this 983 00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:05,760 Speaker 1: is where again I'm gonna I'm gonna posit something to 984 00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:09,440 Speaker 1: the listeners. I'm sure, I'm certain there's many of you 985 00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:12,280 Speaker 1: sitting listening to this who are like nodding and who 986 00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:14,720 Speaker 1: are like fuck yeah. And I love you, guys, And 987 00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:16,800 Speaker 1: I also want to say I love I love you 988 00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:19,000 Speaker 1: if you're listening to this, and this is a hard 989 00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:22,880 Speaker 1: conversation for you, and that's where I want to challenge you. 990 00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:25,000 Speaker 1: What I want to say is if all of this 991 00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:29,280 Speaker 1: sounds new, or if the idea of saying defund the 992 00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:33,760 Speaker 1: police sounds triggering or it makes you uncomfortable, please sit 993 00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:39,480 Speaker 1: with that, Please examine it. Please commit yourself to doing 994 00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:42,200 Speaker 1: some of the research on the people's budget on what 995 00:59:42,240 --> 00:59:45,320 Speaker 1: Black Lives Matter is. And I'm not talking about what 996 00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:48,520 Speaker 1: the conspiracy theories are or the people who have tried 997 00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:51,040 Speaker 1: to co opt it and make the movement look bad. 998 00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:53,160 Speaker 1: I'm talking about the real movement. Look at the people 999 00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:55,720 Speaker 1: behind it, look at the demands. Look at why so 1000 00:59:55,760 --> 01:00:00,080 Speaker 1: many of us work with them because and can't me. 1001 01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:02,960 Speaker 1: You said this, and it is something I one agree with, 1002 01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:05,640 Speaker 1: and this is like the moment for it. You've said 1003 01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:10,000 Speaker 1: that if you are not an ally, you are an enemy, 1004 01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:12,760 Speaker 1: and listeners, I need for you to understand that that 1005 01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:16,760 Speaker 1: is true. This is the time you are either an ally. 1006 01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:19,560 Speaker 1: You are either willing to live in service of your community, 1007 01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:22,160 Speaker 1: if you are a person who follows scripture, you love 1008 01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:27,040 Speaker 1: thy neighbor, or you don't. And being silent when you 1009 01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:30,760 Speaker 1: are silent, as the famous adage goes, as we have 1010 01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:32,680 Speaker 1: been taught by Dr King, as we were taught by 1011 01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:35,920 Speaker 1: so many incredible civil rights leaders over generations, if you 1012 01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:39,439 Speaker 1: take if you sit in silence, you take the side 1013 01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:44,120 Speaker 1: of the oppressor. Period. So please, I encourage you, guys, 1014 01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:48,080 Speaker 1: if you care about one of us in this conversation, 1015 01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:50,680 Speaker 1: both of us in this conversation, if you're if you're 1016 01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:53,520 Speaker 1: just getting to know me because you saw that Campy's 1017 01:00:53,560 --> 01:00:58,200 Speaker 1: on this podcast or vice versa, like, we are here 1018 01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:00,960 Speaker 1: to be real with you, to invite you into the conversation, 1019 01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:04,280 Speaker 1: not to call you out. This is an invitation to 1020 01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:08,600 Speaker 1: come in and and to deepen because we don't have 1021 01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:13,800 Speaker 1: any more time exactly, black and brown bodies are dying 1022 01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:17,240 Speaker 1: in the street. We don't have time for people to 1023 01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:22,160 Speaker 1: ignore what makes them uncomfortable anymore. We didn't have time 1024 01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,360 Speaker 1: before and we certainly don't have any more of it. 1025 01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:29,720 Speaker 1: Right And when people say, you know, well, I'm not racist, 1026 01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:32,200 Speaker 1: but there can be no more But there can be 1027 01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:36,520 Speaker 1: no more gray area, it's either black or it's white putting, 1028 01:01:36,640 --> 01:01:40,840 Speaker 1: you know, perspective, colors, color scheme. But that's how it 1029 01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:45,440 Speaker 1: has to be. It's either you are an ally or 1030 01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:48,919 Speaker 1: you're not. And that's the conversations I've been having with people. 1031 01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:51,360 Speaker 1: There are some people on social media who genuinely want 1032 01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:53,280 Speaker 1: to learn more and they want to be educated, and 1033 01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:55,400 Speaker 1: I'm happy to do that, but then you have the 1034 01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:57,160 Speaker 1: other people who want to do the back and forth. 1035 01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:59,720 Speaker 1: I'm like, no, just say that you are not an 1036 01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:02,240 Speaker 1: out lie and that you are an enemy. Just say 1037 01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:05,120 Speaker 1: that you're not on the side of progression, say that 1038 01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:06,920 Speaker 1: you're a racist, and just keep it moving because I 1039 01:02:07,240 --> 01:02:09,920 Speaker 1: don't have time to do the back and forth with you. 1040 01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:12,720 Speaker 1: And there are people who actually want to learn and 1041 01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:15,440 Speaker 1: do better and know more. And then you have you 1042 01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:20,080 Speaker 1: know the all lives matter people. We know all lives 1043 01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:24,880 Speaker 1: do figuratively matter. All lives matter, yes, but at this 1044 01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:28,120 Speaker 1: particular point in time, we are focusing on black lives 1045 01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:32,280 Speaker 1: that are being snuffed out, not just by you know, 1046 01:02:32,440 --> 01:02:37,280 Speaker 1: everyday white supremacists, but by our police who are supposed 1047 01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:39,240 Speaker 1: to be the ones who are protecting and serving us. 1048 01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:42,200 Speaker 1: So because of that, we need to give that movement 1049 01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:45,160 Speaker 1: the proper attention. We need to give black people the 1050 01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:48,440 Speaker 1: proper attention so that we can then move forward. So 1051 01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:51,440 Speaker 1: then then all lives can matter. Yes, And don't if 1052 01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:53,480 Speaker 1: you give me started on black trans lives, because I 1053 01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:56,160 Speaker 1: can go off all day about that does matter too. 1054 01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:59,480 Speaker 1: And you cannot say black lives matter without saying black 1055 01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:02,160 Speaker 1: queer lives matter as well. That you have. You can't 1056 01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:05,240 Speaker 1: pick and choose anymore. You cannot pick and choose anymore. 1057 01:03:06,120 --> 01:03:09,000 Speaker 1: When you elevate the people who are suffering from the 1058 01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:12,400 Speaker 1: worst kind of oppression, you elevate the community as a whole. 1059 01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:15,600 Speaker 1: When you do not focus on them, you run the 1060 01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:18,440 Speaker 1: risk of elevating only part of the community which is 1061 01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:22,000 Speaker 1: already doing better than they are, and leaving them behind. 1062 01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:25,520 Speaker 1: So if you can't get on board with Black Lives Matter. 1063 01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:29,040 Speaker 1: What it tells me is that you don't actually think 1064 01:03:29,120 --> 01:03:34,200 Speaker 1: your life matters all that much either. Because Patrese Colors, 1065 01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:36,439 Speaker 1: who's one of the founders of Black Lives Matter, says 1066 01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:39,600 Speaker 1: when we when black people get free, we all get free. 1067 01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:46,400 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. And that is ultimately true. Until black women 1068 01:03:46,440 --> 01:03:48,800 Speaker 1: are succeeding in my industry, I'm not really going to 1069 01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:51,880 Speaker 1: succeed in my industry. And by the way, for your 1070 01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:55,200 Speaker 1: racist uncle who says like, well, what about Oprah or Beyonce, 1071 01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:59,919 Speaker 1: It's like, okay, that's two. That's two people. It doesn't count. 1072 01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:05,280 Speaker 1: Aren't count, It doesn't matter. As amazing as they are, 1073 01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:09,040 Speaker 1: the most does not count. It does not count. And 1074 01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:12,200 Speaker 1: I mean, there are so many arguments that I know 1075 01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:15,520 Speaker 1: people are having with their family members who you know, 1076 01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:19,680 Speaker 1: maybe they're not fully racist, but they're complacent with with racism, 1077 01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:22,479 Speaker 1: and you know they're they're trying to have these tough 1078 01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:26,480 Speaker 1: conversations and I know that it's difficult. I get it, 1079 01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:29,480 Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, sometimes you just 1080 01:04:29,520 --> 01:04:32,800 Speaker 1: have to have the hard conversations. And what I've been 1081 01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:37,440 Speaker 1: telling people is I need for you to stand up 1082 01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:40,400 Speaker 1: for me when you're in the rooms where you see 1083 01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:44,000 Speaker 1: everybody that looks like yourself. One thing that I was 1084 01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:47,360 Speaker 1: talking about the other day is, you know, a white 1085 01:04:47,360 --> 01:04:49,720 Speaker 1: person can be in a room full of black people. 1086 01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:51,840 Speaker 1: So it's one person, one white person in the room 1087 01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:53,960 Speaker 1: of fifty black people, and they're like, I'm the only 1088 01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:58,280 Speaker 1: white person here. That's how black people feel every day. 1089 01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:00,360 Speaker 1: That's how we feel in the workplace. That's how we 1090 01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:02,640 Speaker 1: feel at school. That's how we feel when we go shopping. 1091 01:05:02,920 --> 01:05:05,080 Speaker 1: That's how I feel when I'm being followed around a store. 1092 01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:09,000 Speaker 1: That's how I feel, you know, everywhere. That's how we 1093 01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:13,040 Speaker 1: feel all the time. So because you are so represented 1094 01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:17,080 Speaker 1: in identifying the fact that and accepting the fact that 1095 01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:21,040 Speaker 1: you do have white privilege of being represented, I need 1096 01:05:21,040 --> 01:05:23,480 Speaker 1: for you to speak up when you're in the spaces 1097 01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:26,400 Speaker 1: that I will never be. I need for you. Whether 1098 01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:29,200 Speaker 1: it's in your household, at the dinner table with your family, 1099 01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:32,040 Speaker 1: or whether it's you know, when you're out with your 1100 01:05:32,240 --> 01:05:35,680 Speaker 1: coworkers and somebody says something that's anti black or anti POC. 1101 01:05:36,320 --> 01:05:39,920 Speaker 1: Whether it's when you're in a meeting and your boss 1102 01:05:39,920 --> 01:05:42,320 Speaker 1: says something that you know is wrong, and maybe you 1103 01:05:42,320 --> 01:05:46,200 Speaker 1: have all white employees just because I'm not there. Just 1104 01:05:46,240 --> 01:05:49,040 Speaker 1: because your best friend who's black is not there doesn't 1105 01:05:49,120 --> 01:05:51,640 Speaker 1: mean that you just let it go. Because if I 1106 01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:54,320 Speaker 1: was there, would you let it go? Think about that. 1107 01:05:54,400 --> 01:05:57,040 Speaker 1: If your best black friend was in the room when 1108 01:05:57,040 --> 01:06:01,440 Speaker 1: you're a racist father said something that is anti black, 1109 01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:04,680 Speaker 1: would you just sit there or would you say something? 1110 01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:07,360 Speaker 1: You have to think about it that way. It's not 1111 01:06:07,520 --> 01:06:10,640 Speaker 1: enough just to be like, Okay, nobody heard it. Thank god, 1112 01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:13,520 Speaker 1: nobody heard my racist mom say you know X, Y 1113 01:06:13,560 --> 01:06:16,400 Speaker 1: and Z, No, you heard it. And if you want 1114 01:06:16,400 --> 01:06:19,120 Speaker 1: to be an ally of this community and this change, 1115 01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:22,320 Speaker 1: and if you want to see real progress happen, you're 1116 01:06:22,320 --> 01:06:25,720 Speaker 1: gonna need to start speaking up because there's no more 1117 01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:27,760 Speaker 1: room for you not to do that anymore. There's no 1118 01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:32,560 Speaker 1: more room to be silent anymore. Yeah, it's so important. 1119 01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:38,880 Speaker 1: And and I think about how so many people are 1120 01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:41,760 Speaker 1: nervous to do the wrong thing or say the wrong 1121 01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:47,000 Speaker 1: thing in this moment or who's who, or like you said, 1122 01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:50,160 Speaker 1: you have a family member who says something that's ignorant, like, well, 1123 01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:52,040 Speaker 1: they just shouldn't protest this way. It's like, well, what 1124 01:06:52,120 --> 01:06:54,320 Speaker 1: way should we protest? Because you've told us every way 1125 01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:57,200 Speaker 1: is bad, you know, I can't even neil, we can't 1126 01:06:57,280 --> 01:07:00,800 Speaker 1: kneel on the sidelines of a football game. We what 1127 01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:03,560 Speaker 1: can we do? What are we supposed to do? So 1128 01:07:03,840 --> 01:07:08,240 Speaker 1: it's interesting, you know, Bernice King, Dr. King's daughter speaks 1129 01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:10,040 Speaker 1: a lot about this, and she said something that I 1130 01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:13,040 Speaker 1: thought was really beautiful that when her father was alive, 1131 01:07:13,120 --> 01:07:16,080 Speaker 1: they hated him for being a marcher, but once he died, 1132 01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:20,680 Speaker 1: history loved him for being a martyr. And our leaders 1133 01:07:20,720 --> 01:07:25,439 Speaker 1: shouldn't have to martyr themselves to be respected. And if 1134 01:07:25,520 --> 01:07:28,640 Speaker 1: you love the words of someone like a doctor King, 1135 01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,320 Speaker 1: if he were alive today, would you be marching with 1136 01:07:32,400 --> 01:07:36,720 Speaker 1: him today? And I think those are really important questions 1137 01:07:36,760 --> 01:07:40,560 Speaker 1: for people to ask themselves. You know, in the midst 1138 01:07:40,560 --> 01:07:45,800 Speaker 1: of learning or unlearning, it's better to show up than 1139 01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:47,880 Speaker 1: not to show up at all. And if you have 1140 01:07:48,040 --> 01:07:52,800 Speaker 1: reference for historical revolution, if you have reverence for how 1141 01:07:52,840 --> 01:07:58,200 Speaker 1: America was created on a revolution, you have to also 1142 01:07:58,320 --> 01:08:00,960 Speaker 1: own that America was created and built its wealth on 1143 01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:04,760 Speaker 1: the backs of black and brown bodies. And until we 1144 01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:11,600 Speaker 1: until we acknowledge fully and make peace with that reality 1145 01:08:11,640 --> 01:08:16,040 Speaker 1: by offering condolences to our ancestors, we're going to carry 1146 01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:21,160 Speaker 1: that pain. And our friends who walk around in those 1147 01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:27,120 Speaker 1: bodies are carrying that pain in ways that we cannot imagine. Yeah, 1148 01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:31,799 Speaker 1: and I think these are just important things for people 1149 01:08:32,960 --> 01:08:36,799 Speaker 1: to sit with and and they're important to then track 1150 01:08:37,560 --> 01:08:42,519 Speaker 1: because to your point, if we track generational trauma, if 1151 01:08:42,560 --> 01:08:47,759 Speaker 1: we track generational racist behavior in policing, if we track 1152 01:08:48,640 --> 01:08:54,320 Speaker 1: um the generational legacy of this country, it cannot be 1153 01:08:54,439 --> 01:08:57,360 Speaker 1: lost on I know it's not lost on us, and 1154 01:08:57,360 --> 01:08:59,559 Speaker 1: I would imagine that it cannot be lost on anyone 1155 01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:05,720 Speaker 1: who's sitting that. We have a long track record, and 1156 01:09:05,760 --> 01:09:08,240 Speaker 1: we've referenced his current policy, but we have a long 1157 01:09:08,280 --> 01:09:10,960 Speaker 1: track record of the current president of the United States 1158 01:09:11,720 --> 01:09:19,640 Speaker 1: being very openly, publicly and proudly racist. Five there. It 1159 01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:24,400 Speaker 1: is coming from a family that was invested in the KKK. 1160 01:09:25,840 --> 01:09:29,440 Speaker 1: To your point, the Central Park five housing discrimination lawsuits 1161 01:09:29,880 --> 01:09:32,519 Speaker 1: that were launched against the Trumps in New York for 1162 01:09:32,680 --> 01:09:36,920 Speaker 1: their discrimination against black people who are looking for housing. 1163 01:09:37,280 --> 01:09:41,080 Speaker 1: I mean, the list is so long. In a country 1164 01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:43,360 Speaker 1: where we all only get to eat because of the 1165 01:09:43,439 --> 01:09:49,120 Speaker 1: labor of a workforce that is predominantly brown, Donald Trump 1166 01:09:49,160 --> 01:09:54,000 Speaker 1: is calling Mexicans rapists and drug dealers. Uh, he's not 1167 01:09:54,240 --> 01:09:57,559 Speaker 1: acknowledging if we want to talk about drugs, which is 1168 01:09:57,560 --> 01:10:00,360 Speaker 1: not to further his argument, but simply to say, even 1169 01:10:00,360 --> 01:10:03,160 Speaker 1: the disparity in punishment for the drugs that people do, 1170 01:10:03,640 --> 01:10:06,479 Speaker 1: the way that white people are charged versus people of 1171 01:10:06,479 --> 01:10:10,639 Speaker 1: color are charged for the same recreational hobbies or habits 1172 01:10:10,760 --> 01:10:16,400 Speaker 1: or addictions is atrocious. And we have a man in 1173 01:10:16,439 --> 01:10:21,240 Speaker 1: the White House who historically has loved to so racial 1174 01:10:21,280 --> 01:10:24,719 Speaker 1: division and who is clearly getting off on doing it now. 1175 01:10:25,640 --> 01:10:28,760 Speaker 1: And as upsetting as this is to all of us, 1176 01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:34,120 Speaker 1: something that I find wild is that because of the 1177 01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:37,639 Speaker 1: beginning of your career, you've had personal interaction with this 1178 01:10:37,680 --> 01:10:42,400 Speaker 1: man and it is not, like Jesus if it is not. 1179 01:10:43,240 --> 01:10:45,839 Speaker 1: And I always want to be sensitive to women's stories. 1180 01:10:45,880 --> 01:10:47,400 Speaker 1: So if you're like, I really don't want to talk 1181 01:10:47,400 --> 01:10:50,280 Speaker 1: about it, we don't have to actually thinking about it 1182 01:10:50,360 --> 01:10:55,679 Speaker 1: the whole time, because I've I've read it, I've listened 1183 01:10:55,680 --> 01:10:58,280 Speaker 1: to you talk about it. But for listeners who are like, 1184 01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:01,599 Speaker 1: what are they talking about? Will you please just spill 1185 01:11:01,720 --> 01:11:08,880 Speaker 1: that that of tea, Oh honey, So you know there 1186 01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:12,160 Speaker 1: was a time what was it now, ten years ago? 1187 01:11:12,280 --> 01:11:14,200 Speaker 1: I was Miss tin us A two thousand and ten. 1188 01:11:15,520 --> 01:11:18,160 Speaker 1: I was the first black Miss Tin USA in a 1189 01:11:18,200 --> 01:11:23,080 Speaker 1: decade um prior to my win, it was like a 1190 01:11:23,160 --> 01:11:26,880 Speaker 1: known thing amongst the girls of color, but mostly the 1191 01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:30,080 Speaker 1: black girls that would compete, is that every year there 1192 01:11:30,080 --> 01:11:33,160 Speaker 1: would only be two black intestines and only one would 1193 01:11:33,200 --> 01:11:36,920 Speaker 1: proceed forward to like top teen you mean top ten, 1194 01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:40,519 Speaker 1: hold the phone? You mean to from the very beginning? 1195 01:11:41,400 --> 01:11:43,920 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, like that. I mean that's how 1196 01:11:43,960 --> 01:11:47,880 Speaker 1: it has always kind of been out of rare fifty 1197 01:11:47,920 --> 01:11:51,559 Speaker 1: one because we include um District of Columbia, so that's 1198 01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:59,639 Speaker 1: its own state. So but for years, I mean probably 1199 01:11:59,720 --> 01:12:02,160 Speaker 1: there's probably been different times where you know, maybe a 1200 01:12:02,200 --> 01:12:04,680 Speaker 1: third black girl might have snuck in there, and you know, 1201 01:12:04,760 --> 01:12:07,600 Speaker 1: the Top fIF team, but there was generally only two 1202 01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:11,320 Speaker 1: black contestants in the entire pageant for both Miss and 1203 01:12:11,520 --> 01:12:15,800 Speaker 1: Team Miss Universe is a completely different situation because universal 1204 01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:19,040 Speaker 1: beauty standards are different, so you know, they kind of 1205 01:12:19,080 --> 01:12:22,880 Speaker 1: acknowledged that a little bit better versus Miss USA and 1206 01:12:22,960 --> 01:12:28,280 Speaker 1: Miss Team USA being very very much predominantly white and 1207 01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:33,920 Speaker 1: very very little, um, you know, diversity as far as 1208 01:12:33,960 --> 01:12:36,479 Speaker 1: black women are concerned. So it was myself in South 1209 01:12:36,520 --> 01:12:39,479 Speaker 1: Carolina my year as Miss Team USA. We're still close 1210 01:12:39,479 --> 01:12:43,360 Speaker 1: to this day obviously, UM, and then I ended up winning. 1211 01:12:43,479 --> 01:12:47,960 Speaker 1: So after I won, my first kind of real job 1212 01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:50,280 Speaker 1: was that I got to go to Miss Universe, which 1213 01:12:50,320 --> 01:12:52,479 Speaker 1: was in Vegas that year. Um. That was kind of 1214 01:12:52,520 --> 01:12:54,080 Speaker 1: the only reason why I got to go because it 1215 01:12:54,120 --> 01:13:00,080 Speaker 1: was in the country. UM. And so I went, and 1216 01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:02,559 Speaker 1: you know, there was one day that I was told 1217 01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:05,320 Speaker 1: by my travel manager, You're going to meet Mr Trump today, 1218 01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:07,599 Speaker 1: who was the owner of the Miss Universe organization at 1219 01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:09,880 Speaker 1: the time. He did not come to the Miss tin 1220 01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:13,000 Speaker 1: Usa pageant that I competed in. He only really spent 1221 01:13:13,080 --> 01:13:15,920 Speaker 1: his time on Miss USA and Miss Universe because those 1222 01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:18,240 Speaker 1: were the ones that were making him money at the 1223 01:13:18,320 --> 01:13:22,400 Speaker 1: time when I competed, Miss tin Usa was no longer televised. 1224 01:13:22,479 --> 01:13:24,400 Speaker 1: The last time it was televised was in two thousand 1225 01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:29,440 Speaker 1: and eight, so he lost interest because there was no money. 1226 01:13:30,160 --> 01:13:32,479 Speaker 1: So I never got to meet him before this time. 1227 01:13:32,680 --> 01:13:35,040 Speaker 1: So I go to Miss Universe. I hear that I'm 1228 01:13:35,040 --> 01:13:39,360 Speaker 1: going to meet him. I'm like excited, but also nervous 1229 01:13:39,400 --> 01:13:42,160 Speaker 1: because it's like you're meeting the CEO of your company, 1230 01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:45,439 Speaker 1: like you're meeting your boss essentially for the first time. 1231 01:13:45,680 --> 01:13:49,000 Speaker 1: And obviously the only thing that I knew about him 1232 01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:51,280 Speaker 1: was that he was a celebrity and he owned, you know, 1233 01:13:51,360 --> 01:13:54,120 Speaker 1: the patching system. I didn't even know about the Central 1234 01:13:54,120 --> 01:13:56,360 Speaker 1: Park five at the time. I didn't know about his 1235 01:13:56,360 --> 01:14:00,080 Speaker 1: history with um, you know, housing disparities. I didn't know 1236 01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:03,439 Speaker 1: any of that. So because I was I mean, I 1237 01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:05,800 Speaker 1: probably should have done the research, but I was seventeen. 1238 01:14:05,920 --> 01:14:08,640 Speaker 1: I also was now miss Tea USA, like, this is 1239 01:14:08,680 --> 01:14:11,320 Speaker 1: my job. Now, what am I going to do? Quit? No, 1240 01:14:12,640 --> 01:14:17,960 Speaker 1: So before I meet him, I get a warning from 1241 01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:20,280 Speaker 1: I won't say who it was, but she was my 1242 01:14:20,320 --> 01:14:22,280 Speaker 1: travel manager and she was just like, I'm just gonna 1243 01:14:22,360 --> 01:14:25,880 Speaker 1: let you know. Now Mr Trump does not like black people, 1244 01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:28,479 Speaker 1: so don't be offended if he doesn't want to shake 1245 01:14:28,479 --> 01:14:31,640 Speaker 1: your hand or if he doesn't, you know, warm up 1246 01:14:31,640 --> 01:14:35,360 Speaker 1: to you right away. If he does, then you might 1247 01:14:35,360 --> 01:14:37,040 Speaker 1: just be the type of black that he likes, and like, 1248 01:14:37,880 --> 01:14:44,360 Speaker 1: good for you. And I remember being seventeen and being 1249 01:14:44,479 --> 01:14:49,080 Speaker 1: completely I was fucking stunned. I was stunned. I was 1250 01:14:49,120 --> 01:14:52,400 Speaker 1: like I and I was terrified now because now I'm 1251 01:14:52,439 --> 01:14:54,880 Speaker 1: like the type of black that he likes. What the 1252 01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:56,679 Speaker 1: what does that mean? I don't know what that means. 1253 01:14:56,760 --> 01:15:00,000 Speaker 1: Like I grew up in Potomac, Maryland, which is predominantly Jewish, 1254 01:15:00,040 --> 01:15:03,920 Speaker 1: but we have, you know, a pretty diverse population, at 1255 01:15:03,960 --> 01:15:05,519 Speaker 1: least in my high school. I went to a public 1256 01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:08,880 Speaker 1: high school, and I most of like my best friends 1257 01:15:08,880 --> 01:15:10,759 Speaker 1: were black, but I also had friends that were Persian 1258 01:15:10,800 --> 01:15:13,680 Speaker 1: and Indian and all different Jewish White. I went to 1259 01:15:13,760 --> 01:15:16,920 Speaker 1: more bar and bought mizpas than I can even count. 1260 01:15:17,439 --> 01:15:20,679 Speaker 1: And I just known to be, you know, a part 1261 01:15:20,720 --> 01:15:24,000 Speaker 1: of communities that were accepting in that kind of way. 1262 01:15:24,280 --> 01:15:27,639 Speaker 1: So to hear the type of black that he liked, 1263 01:15:27,680 --> 01:15:29,559 Speaker 1: I'm like, what is that? What does that mean? And 1264 01:15:29,560 --> 01:15:33,360 Speaker 1: I didn't even get a chance to ask because I 1265 01:15:33,439 --> 01:15:37,080 Speaker 1: was in shock. And also, so what does that mean? 1266 01:15:37,120 --> 01:15:39,920 Speaker 1: Because an adult has just said to you he does 1267 01:15:39,960 --> 01:15:43,719 Speaker 1: not like black people, don't be surprised if he won't 1268 01:15:43,800 --> 01:15:47,360 Speaker 1: shake your hand. And then I hear unless you're the 1269 01:15:47,439 --> 01:15:51,640 Speaker 1: kind of black that he likes, And I have like 1270 01:15:51,720 --> 01:15:56,559 Speaker 1: the I have like the throw up chills because I 1271 01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:59,600 Speaker 1: can't help but think about, like what has come to 1272 01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:02,400 Speaker 1: light all these old videos of these like parties that 1273 01:16:02,439 --> 01:16:06,080 Speaker 1: he would throw with like inappropriately young women. And so 1274 01:16:06,160 --> 01:16:08,360 Speaker 1: then I'm like, is he going to like you because 1275 01:16:08,360 --> 01:16:12,360 Speaker 1: you're young and beautiful and is going to want to 1276 01:16:12,439 --> 01:16:14,759 Speaker 1: hit on you, Like what is this person even trying 1277 01:16:14,760 --> 01:16:18,759 Speaker 1: to say to you? Exactly? And I had no idea 1278 01:16:18,920 --> 01:16:22,680 Speaker 1: because I obviously the Jeffrey Epstein documentary hadn't come out yet. 1279 01:16:22,720 --> 01:16:24,880 Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't know any of the information. I 1280 01:16:24,960 --> 01:16:28,880 Speaker 1: didn't I didn't know any of this. Media wasn't really 1281 01:16:29,120 --> 01:16:31,840 Speaker 1: no social media wasn't really a thing like it is now. 1282 01:16:31,880 --> 01:16:35,920 Speaker 1: I mean Instagram had just kind of come about, like 1283 01:16:36,000 --> 01:16:38,360 Speaker 1: within at the end of my rain. Twitter it was 1284 01:16:38,400 --> 01:16:41,120 Speaker 1: like a new thing. Um, Facebook was the only thing 1285 01:16:41,120 --> 01:16:43,599 Speaker 1: that we had. But who was really talking about Donald 1286 01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:46,080 Speaker 1: Trump on Facebook? Like that? Back then people were like 1287 01:16:46,120 --> 01:16:52,080 Speaker 1: posting vacation photos on Facebook exactly. So I'm sitting in 1288 01:16:52,120 --> 01:16:54,080 Speaker 1: rehearsal at Miss Universe. This is like one of their 1289 01:16:54,200 --> 01:16:58,400 Speaker 1: dress rehearsals for, you know, the live show, and it's 1290 01:16:58,479 --> 01:17:03,519 Speaker 1: the swimsuit part, which after this experience, I then come 1291 01:17:03,560 --> 01:17:07,559 Speaker 1: to realize that Trump during Miss Universe pageant Miss USA 1292 01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:10,280 Speaker 1: pageant would fly with all of his friends. All of 1293 01:17:10,280 --> 01:17:11,880 Speaker 1: his friends would come in on their private jets from 1294 01:17:11,880 --> 01:17:15,320 Speaker 1: different parts of the world. I am actually not I've 1295 01:17:15,320 --> 01:17:17,120 Speaker 1: been thinking about it now that I've seen the Jeffrey 1296 01:17:17,160 --> 01:17:19,320 Speaker 1: Epstein documentary of whether or not he might have been 1297 01:17:19,360 --> 01:17:21,320 Speaker 1: there at the time, because this was two thousand ten 1298 01:17:21,439 --> 01:17:24,000 Speaker 1: when he says that, like they ended their friendship. But 1299 01:17:24,080 --> 01:17:26,160 Speaker 1: now looking back on it, I'm like, I wonder if 1300 01:17:26,160 --> 01:17:28,840 Speaker 1: he was there, But there were so many of his 1301 01:17:28,960 --> 01:17:32,639 Speaker 1: friends that had come to now watch these Miss Universe 1302 01:17:32,680 --> 01:17:36,559 Speaker 1: girls like practicing in their swimsuits. I don't even remember 1303 01:17:36,600 --> 01:17:40,320 Speaker 1: who was there and who wasn't. So I'm sitting towards 1304 01:17:40,360 --> 01:17:46,400 Speaker 1: like the middle to back of the kind of like auditorium, 1305 01:17:46,439 --> 01:17:48,559 Speaker 1: and the Miss Universe girls are coming out one by one. 1306 01:17:48,680 --> 01:17:51,839 Speaker 1: He's sitting in the very middle where the runway hits 1307 01:17:52,360 --> 01:17:54,479 Speaker 1: so he can get a good view in the first row. 1308 01:17:55,600 --> 01:17:58,160 Speaker 1: All of his little friends are taking up both the 1309 01:17:58,200 --> 01:18:02,120 Speaker 1: first and second row behind, and so you can only 1310 01:18:02,160 --> 01:18:08,200 Speaker 1: imagine it's just like two full rows of men. Yeah, exactly, 1311 01:18:08,280 --> 01:18:11,439 Speaker 1: watching these girls who are ranging from I think about 1312 01:18:11,479 --> 01:18:18,600 Speaker 1: eighteen too. So they're coming down the runway, and it 1313 01:18:18,720 --> 01:18:21,919 Speaker 1: was always a thing pageant girls knew when Trump was involved. 1314 01:18:22,120 --> 01:18:25,519 Speaker 1: Trump likes big boobs, no asked. So if you've got 1315 01:18:25,560 --> 01:18:27,439 Speaker 1: a big butt, you've got to try to get that down. 1316 01:18:27,760 --> 01:18:29,439 Speaker 1: If you don't have boobs, you get a boob job, 1317 01:18:29,479 --> 01:18:32,760 Speaker 1: doesn't matter how old you are. Um, I've known girls 1318 01:18:32,800 --> 01:18:35,040 Speaker 1: who are fourteen years old who have got boob jobs. 1319 01:18:35,640 --> 01:18:39,080 Speaker 1: And he doesn't like moles, so make sure you know 1320 01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:41,080 Speaker 1: if you have a mole, you get that removed. It 1321 01:18:41,160 --> 01:18:44,759 Speaker 1: was like very specific things that girls just knew that 1322 01:18:45,080 --> 01:18:49,559 Speaker 1: he did not like. So and obviously now I'm finding 1323 01:18:49,560 --> 01:18:51,479 Speaker 1: out that he also does not like black people. But 1324 01:18:51,520 --> 01:18:54,160 Speaker 1: we know that he likes blonds. That's that was like 1325 01:18:54,200 --> 01:18:56,639 Speaker 1: the thing at the time that he really loved blonds. 1326 01:18:57,640 --> 01:19:02,280 Speaker 1: So we see Miss Sweden come down the runway and 1327 01:19:02,360 --> 01:19:05,360 Speaker 1: she's like petitue huge boobs. I think she had just 1328 01:19:05,400 --> 01:19:08,160 Speaker 1: got them done. They look they look so big and 1329 01:19:08,439 --> 01:19:10,680 Speaker 1: blonde hair. She was super cute. She comes down the 1330 01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:13,040 Speaker 1: runway and he's like tapping all of these buddies. He's 1331 01:19:13,040 --> 01:19:15,320 Speaker 1: like look at her and look at her. She looks great, 1332 01:19:15,360 --> 01:19:17,880 Speaker 1: like she's hot, Like you can just tell. He's like 1333 01:19:18,080 --> 01:19:23,080 Speaker 1: very performative. So he's like really living it up for Ms. Sweden. 1334 01:19:24,640 --> 01:19:28,400 Speaker 1: And then after the s is come the tease and 1335 01:19:29,000 --> 01:19:35,000 Speaker 1: Ms Tanzania comes down the runway and she's stunningly gorgeous. 1336 01:19:35,040 --> 01:19:40,000 Speaker 1: She's a model. Now she has cropped you know, buzzed 1337 01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:45,120 Speaker 1: hair on the side, stunning woman. But she's black, she's 1338 01:19:45,520 --> 01:19:48,080 Speaker 1: very slim, she's a she's a model. She looks like 1339 01:19:48,120 --> 01:19:52,240 Speaker 1: a supermodel. She's coming down the runway, and I physically 1340 01:19:52,240 --> 01:19:56,400 Speaker 1: watch him take his whole body and turn it to 1341 01:19:56,479 --> 01:20:00,240 Speaker 1: the back of the auditorium and make a throw up face, 1342 01:20:00,320 --> 01:20:03,920 Speaker 1: like like he was disgusted and did not turn back 1343 01:20:03,960 --> 01:20:07,840 Speaker 1: around until she was off the runway. And this is 1344 01:20:07,920 --> 01:20:10,639 Speaker 1: right before I'm about to meet this man who I've 1345 01:20:10,680 --> 01:20:15,240 Speaker 1: already been told does not like black people. Oh my god. 1346 01:20:15,560 --> 01:20:18,880 Speaker 1: I was honestly frozen because I was like, if he 1347 01:20:18,920 --> 01:20:23,880 Speaker 1: doesn't like this model, literal model, gorgeous woman, I don't 1348 01:20:23,880 --> 01:20:26,960 Speaker 1: know what he's gonna like. So then it gets to 1349 01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:30,280 Speaker 1: the point where it's time, you know, the rehearsal ends, 1350 01:20:30,320 --> 01:20:32,639 Speaker 1: and I'm tapped. I'm like, okay, time to meet Mr. Trump. 1351 01:20:32,680 --> 01:20:36,200 Speaker 1: And I'm like shaking because I'm like, holy sh it, 1352 01:20:36,800 --> 01:20:38,719 Speaker 1: I'm in trouble, Like I don't know what I'm supposed 1353 01:20:38,760 --> 01:20:44,439 Speaker 1: to do. So I'm introduced to him. Immediately he turns around, 1354 01:20:44,560 --> 01:20:47,760 Speaker 1: could not have been more excited to see me, to 1355 01:20:47,920 --> 01:20:51,280 Speaker 1: meet me. He was like, oh my god, Miss tin 1356 01:20:51,400 --> 01:20:53,840 Speaker 1: U s say this is guys, guys patting his tapping 1357 01:20:53,840 --> 01:20:55,519 Speaker 1: his friends. Guy, this is our new Miss tin U 1358 01:20:55,560 --> 01:20:57,280 Speaker 1: s A is there news t Usa And I'm like, hi, 1359 01:20:57,560 --> 01:20:58,840 Speaker 1: nice to meet you, and he's like, look at her, 1360 01:20:58,880 --> 01:21:00,920 Speaker 1: she's so smart. Look how she offs. Look at and 1361 01:21:00,960 --> 01:21:05,880 Speaker 1: I'm surrounded by grown men. I'm a seventeen year old 1362 01:21:05,880 --> 01:21:08,920 Speaker 1: girl surrounded by these grown men. I felt like I 1363 01:21:08,960 --> 01:21:13,880 Speaker 1: was in a zoo, but at the time, being seventeen 1364 01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:17,599 Speaker 1: and being a newly crowned title holder who has worked 1365 01:21:18,040 --> 01:21:20,920 Speaker 1: for their ass off for this position. I'm thinking in 1366 01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:25,439 Speaker 1: my mind, thank god he likes me, Like, thank god 1367 01:21:26,640 --> 01:21:30,639 Speaker 1: I passed the test basically, because it could have gone 1368 01:21:30,680 --> 01:21:32,599 Speaker 1: the other way, and I don't know what he've taken 1369 01:21:32,640 --> 01:21:34,880 Speaker 1: my crown away, Like what what kind of response would 1370 01:21:34,880 --> 01:21:36,439 Speaker 1: I have gotten? At least he didn't embarrass me in 1371 01:21:36,479 --> 01:21:39,439 Speaker 1: front of all these people. He's like, you're so smart, 1372 01:21:39,520 --> 01:21:41,040 Speaker 1: look at you. And I didn't even say but like 1373 01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:43,439 Speaker 1: five words, the man, you're so smart, you're so beautiful, 1374 01:21:43,479 --> 01:21:45,000 Speaker 1: You're so You're looking at her, look at her, look 1375 01:21:45,040 --> 01:21:46,360 Speaker 1: at her, look at her, look at how she looks, 1376 01:21:46,360 --> 01:21:51,200 Speaker 1: look as she stands, look at as she talks. And 1377 01:21:51,240 --> 01:21:53,040 Speaker 1: now I see that it was like I was some 1378 01:21:53,120 --> 01:21:56,120 Speaker 1: type of like performance monkey. That's how That's how I 1379 01:21:56,160 --> 01:21:58,200 Speaker 1: see it now and I look back at it. But 1380 01:21:58,320 --> 01:22:00,880 Speaker 1: at the time I was really leaved. And even when 1381 01:22:00,920 --> 01:22:04,360 Speaker 1: I shared that story, you know, I had a bunch 1382 01:22:04,400 --> 01:22:06,519 Speaker 1: of Trump supporters who were like, so, what's the problem. 1383 01:22:06,520 --> 01:22:09,280 Speaker 1: I don't get it, Like he liked you, so he 1384 01:22:09,320 --> 01:22:12,320 Speaker 1: doesn't hate black people? Like what are you saying? Like, 1385 01:22:13,200 --> 01:22:15,880 Speaker 1: obviously you have missed the message, and you have missed 1386 01:22:15,880 --> 01:22:19,000 Speaker 1: the point. The point is not that he was nice 1387 01:22:19,040 --> 01:22:22,479 Speaker 1: to me. The point is what if he wasn't. What 1388 01:22:22,560 --> 01:22:24,679 Speaker 1: if I was not the type of black that he liked. 1389 01:22:24,960 --> 01:22:28,880 Speaker 1: What about the fact that he was over the moon 1390 01:22:28,920 --> 01:22:32,559 Speaker 1: and overjoyed about how smart I sounded, because he probably 1391 01:22:32,640 --> 01:22:34,880 Speaker 1: was not expecting for me to be smart at all, 1392 01:22:36,200 --> 01:22:39,599 Speaker 1: like connect the dots. But people who are so warped 1393 01:22:39,640 --> 01:22:45,120 Speaker 1: into believing him and his entire regime just are never 1394 01:22:45,200 --> 01:22:48,600 Speaker 1: going to get that. But that was an experience that 1395 01:22:48,680 --> 01:22:51,639 Speaker 1: I had, and to be honest, anytime I saw him 1396 01:22:51,640 --> 01:22:53,559 Speaker 1: after that it was a pleasant experience. I also have 1397 01:22:53,640 --> 01:22:57,720 Speaker 1: experienced him, you know, trying to solicit pageant girls for 1398 01:22:57,800 --> 01:23:00,160 Speaker 1: sex and trying to get them back to his room 1399 01:23:00,160 --> 01:23:02,639 Speaker 1: and then there's that's a whole another thing where girls 1400 01:23:02,640 --> 01:23:05,360 Speaker 1: have literally asked me for my opinion and my advice 1401 01:23:05,800 --> 01:23:07,760 Speaker 1: of whether or not they should go back to his 1402 01:23:07,920 --> 01:23:11,240 Speaker 1: room after the pageant, after they didn't even make the 1403 01:23:11,320 --> 01:23:15,840 Speaker 1: top fifteen, because he asked them to, and obviously I 1404 01:23:15,880 --> 01:23:19,120 Speaker 1: told them absolutely not. Like, well, first I asked, what 1405 01:23:19,160 --> 01:23:22,000 Speaker 1: do you want to do? What do you want to do? 1406 01:23:22,479 --> 01:23:25,160 Speaker 1: This man is here. I mean, he wasn't there with 1407 01:23:25,200 --> 01:23:27,840 Speaker 1: his wife I think at that particular time. But it's 1408 01:23:27,880 --> 01:23:30,320 Speaker 1: just like, what do you really feel deep down in 1409 01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:33,240 Speaker 1: your soul that you want to do. And I've seen 1410 01:23:33,280 --> 01:23:35,920 Speaker 1: many of those women come out about him and you know, 1411 01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:39,000 Speaker 1: during the me Too movement, and I don't blame them. 1412 01:23:39,000 --> 01:23:40,760 Speaker 1: At the time, I was like, how can you come 1413 01:23:40,760 --> 01:23:43,920 Speaker 1: out about this when you were actually contemplating this kind 1414 01:23:43,960 --> 01:23:45,920 Speaker 1: of thing. But then at the same time, it's like, 1415 01:23:46,520 --> 01:23:48,520 Speaker 1: I know how I felt when I was in that situation. 1416 01:23:48,560 --> 01:23:50,280 Speaker 1: You just want to be liked, You just want to 1417 01:23:50,280 --> 01:23:54,000 Speaker 1: be accepted, you just want to be you know, seen. 1418 01:23:54,960 --> 01:23:58,080 Speaker 1: And he was promising these girls, you know, jobs, and 1419 01:23:58,200 --> 01:24:00,880 Speaker 1: was actually giving them jobs on his little real estate 1420 01:24:00,880 --> 01:24:03,759 Speaker 1: agency that he had made up. So I've just seen 1421 01:24:05,040 --> 01:24:07,639 Speaker 1: a lot of the behind the scenes, and I've seen, 1422 01:24:08,160 --> 01:24:10,320 Speaker 1: you know, even when I was his team USA, we 1423 01:24:10,320 --> 01:24:12,240 Speaker 1: were told from two thousand ten that he was going 1424 01:24:12,240 --> 01:24:14,320 Speaker 1: to run for president, and we were told that if 1425 01:24:14,400 --> 01:24:17,400 Speaker 1: we went to an event or something where we were 1426 01:24:17,439 --> 01:24:19,479 Speaker 1: asked about if we were going to plan on voting 1427 01:24:19,479 --> 01:24:21,840 Speaker 1: for him, because he had lightly mentioned it to the 1428 01:24:21,880 --> 01:24:24,720 Speaker 1: press before um, that we were to say yes, that 1429 01:24:24,760 --> 01:24:27,040 Speaker 1: we were going to vote for him. And my response 1430 01:24:27,200 --> 01:24:33,040 Speaker 1: was absolutely the fun not not voting for him over Obama, 1431 01:24:33,240 --> 01:24:35,320 Speaker 1: Absolutely not. But I thought it was a joke. So 1432 01:24:35,400 --> 01:24:39,000 Speaker 1: even when he ran for when he actually ran in, 1433 01:24:40,479 --> 01:24:42,800 Speaker 1: I thought that it was still a joke because I 1434 01:24:42,880 --> 01:24:45,559 Speaker 1: was like, he was going to do it last time. 1435 01:24:45,600 --> 01:24:47,240 Speaker 1: He didn't do it, Like this is all a joke 1436 01:24:47,320 --> 01:24:51,880 Speaker 1: for him. He doesn't actually care. But even after winning 1437 01:24:51,920 --> 01:24:56,120 Speaker 1: the presidency, he doesn't actually care. I know that to 1438 01:24:56,200 --> 01:25:01,240 Speaker 1: be a fact. He doesn't. He enjoys the you know, 1439 01:25:01,439 --> 01:25:03,439 Speaker 1: the key key of it all. He thinks it's like 1440 01:25:03,600 --> 01:25:06,000 Speaker 1: fun to be a leader and to have you know, 1441 01:25:06,360 --> 01:25:09,680 Speaker 1: but he's he doesn't actually give a shit about this country. 1442 01:25:09,840 --> 01:25:14,080 Speaker 1: So if you doesn't, he doesn't want to lead. He 1443 01:25:14,160 --> 01:25:16,479 Speaker 1: just wants to be a celebrity. And he thinks that 1444 01:25:16,560 --> 01:25:20,439 Speaker 1: being the president is a big win for that. And 1445 01:25:20,600 --> 01:25:24,280 Speaker 1: I don't know how much clearer we have to be 1446 01:25:24,439 --> 01:25:27,160 Speaker 1: about that, how much clearer he has to literally be 1447 01:25:27,240 --> 01:25:30,240 Speaker 1: about that for people to get it. I just it 1448 01:25:30,800 --> 01:25:35,120 Speaker 1: is truly, truly rex my brain. I hadn't follow a 1449 01:25:35,120 --> 01:25:38,240 Speaker 1: friend the other day because she was posting videos of 1450 01:25:38,320 --> 01:25:42,640 Speaker 1: him and then was talking about people are looting and 1451 01:25:42,680 --> 01:25:45,960 Speaker 1: people are are destroying property, and I'm like, is the 1452 01:25:46,000 --> 01:25:47,920 Speaker 1: looting more important than the murder? Because I haven't heard 1453 01:25:47,960 --> 01:25:50,040 Speaker 1: you once mentioned the murder, but you've mentioned the looting 1454 01:25:50,120 --> 01:25:52,439 Speaker 1: multiple times. So I just want to get that clear 1455 01:25:53,040 --> 01:25:55,840 Speaker 1: of where you stand on that, just so you know. 1456 01:25:56,280 --> 01:25:57,920 Speaker 1: But see, this is one of the things that drives 1457 01:25:57,960 --> 01:26:03,759 Speaker 1: me crazy about our society is that we've been told 1458 01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:07,000 Speaker 1: we live in a capitalist country, but we live in 1459 01:26:07,040 --> 01:26:09,960 Speaker 1: a country where there is capitalism for the poor and 1460 01:26:10,000 --> 01:26:14,719 Speaker 1: middle class and socialism for the very rich. So people 1461 01:26:15,080 --> 01:26:18,000 Speaker 1: working people in America who are like my family worked 1462 01:26:18,040 --> 01:26:19,920 Speaker 1: all their life for that business and then it burned 1463 01:26:19,960 --> 01:26:22,840 Speaker 1: down and when did they get to rebuild it. That's devastating. 1464 01:26:23,400 --> 01:26:27,520 Speaker 1: But there's been far less looting than there have been murders, 1465 01:26:27,560 --> 01:26:31,400 Speaker 1: So let's focus on the murders. One Number two, if 1466 01:26:31,439 --> 01:26:35,200 Speaker 1: you if you don't know how to think about what 1467 01:26:35,720 --> 01:26:38,600 Speaker 1: property means and why it feels like a livelihood to 1468 01:26:38,720 --> 01:26:41,679 Speaker 1: so many of us, you need to get your head 1469 01:26:41,680 --> 01:26:45,960 Speaker 1: around why leaders would rather have us focus on property 1470 01:26:46,000 --> 01:26:50,120 Speaker 1: than on each other, because that fight some of us 1471 01:26:50,160 --> 01:26:52,280 Speaker 1: being like, focused on the murders and some people being like, 1472 01:26:52,280 --> 01:26:55,519 Speaker 1: but what about these mom and pop businesses that keeps 1473 01:26:55,560 --> 01:26:59,479 Speaker 1: us yelling at each other? In situations like these people 1474 01:26:59,520 --> 01:27:02,599 Speaker 1: are so concerned about what the media is showing them, 1475 01:27:02,600 --> 01:27:05,760 Speaker 1: which isn't even a portion of what's actually happening out there. 1476 01:27:06,640 --> 01:27:09,760 Speaker 1: And I just want to encourage everybody to look outside 1477 01:27:09,760 --> 01:27:12,799 Speaker 1: of mainstream media because they're not going to show you everything. 1478 01:27:12,880 --> 01:27:14,600 Speaker 1: They're not going to tell you everything. They're going to 1479 01:27:14,720 --> 01:27:17,680 Speaker 1: tell you what they want you to know. Someone was 1480 01:27:17,720 --> 01:27:19,880 Speaker 1: just telling me the other day, sometimes the most accessible 1481 01:27:19,920 --> 01:27:28,200 Speaker 1: information is the wrong information. Sometimes Facebook, like Facebook has 1482 01:27:28,200 --> 01:27:33,479 Speaker 1: become assess, you know, we can't, we can't do it anymore. 1483 01:27:33,680 --> 01:27:36,040 Speaker 1: And you know, I went on for five seconds the 1484 01:27:36,040 --> 01:27:39,439 Speaker 1: other day and I was like, oh, no, yeah, I 1485 01:27:39,479 --> 01:27:42,680 Speaker 1: saw I saw a journalist who I follow the other 1486 01:27:42,760 --> 01:27:46,160 Speaker 1: day who tweeted, does everybody know that of Donald Trump's 1487 01:27:46,160 --> 01:27:51,520 Speaker 1: followers or Russian bots and and bots, and I was like, wow, Okay, 1488 01:27:52,200 --> 01:27:54,920 Speaker 1: So when you think about the information that accounts like 1489 01:27:54,960 --> 01:27:57,839 Speaker 1: that are disseminating, the fighting that they're causing on the Internet, 1490 01:27:57,960 --> 01:28:01,959 Speaker 1: the actual provable news that they're putting up on Facebook, 1491 01:28:01,960 --> 01:28:07,200 Speaker 1: which isn't being checked or flagged, it's very dangerous to 1492 01:28:07,360 --> 01:28:09,760 Speaker 1: just see something on the Internet and trust it, which 1493 01:28:09,760 --> 01:28:12,680 Speaker 1: is why I try to point people to really trustworthy 1494 01:28:12,680 --> 01:28:18,559 Speaker 1: news sources. I try to tell people follow organizations like 1495 01:28:19,120 --> 01:28:23,160 Speaker 1: now this bravity, look at what Fox is reporting, look 1496 01:28:23,200 --> 01:28:26,040 Speaker 1: at what CNN is reporting, and then look at reporters. 1497 01:28:26,680 --> 01:28:29,400 Speaker 1: Look at what Jessica Yellen is talking about. You know, 1498 01:28:29,479 --> 01:28:32,000 Speaker 1: she does this amazing thing on Instagram called News not 1499 01:28:32,160 --> 01:28:34,640 Speaker 1: Noise where she breaks down what's really going on, and 1500 01:28:34,640 --> 01:28:36,639 Speaker 1: like she ran the White House Press Corps. She knows 1501 01:28:36,680 --> 01:28:42,080 Speaker 1: what's up. And and I think for us, we always 1502 01:28:42,120 --> 01:28:44,479 Speaker 1: have to dig a little deeper. I've I've heard from 1503 01:28:44,520 --> 01:28:46,840 Speaker 1: a lot of people, and I know that it's like 1504 01:28:46,880 --> 01:28:51,120 Speaker 1: a general consensus that it's not black people's job to 1505 01:28:51,360 --> 01:28:54,639 Speaker 1: educate non black people about what's going on in the world. 1506 01:28:55,280 --> 01:29:00,000 Speaker 1: And I understand that, but through my platform, I've actually 1507 01:29:00,080 --> 01:29:02,519 Speaker 1: we found it, you know, like I was saying, more 1508 01:29:02,560 --> 01:29:05,320 Speaker 1: therapeutic to actually talk about these things and to educate 1509 01:29:05,320 --> 01:29:07,880 Speaker 1: people about these things, because if I don't, I'm going 1510 01:29:07,920 --> 01:29:10,000 Speaker 1: to have them in my d m s anyway, asking 1511 01:29:10,040 --> 01:29:11,960 Speaker 1: me the same stupid ask questions that I could have 1512 01:29:12,040 --> 01:29:14,559 Speaker 1: just answered, you know, to the public, or things that 1513 01:29:14,600 --> 01:29:17,599 Speaker 1: I think are dumb that some people genuinely just don't know. 1514 01:29:18,160 --> 01:29:21,000 Speaker 1: And I think that for myself, I just take it 1515 01:29:21,000 --> 01:29:23,120 Speaker 1: as like, you don't know what you don't know. And 1516 01:29:23,320 --> 01:29:27,400 Speaker 1: if we keep leaving people to fend for themselves and 1517 01:29:27,520 --> 01:29:30,160 Speaker 1: you know, figure out this information on their own instead 1518 01:29:30,200 --> 01:29:32,639 Speaker 1: of giving them kind of like a path to go down, 1519 01:29:33,280 --> 01:29:35,240 Speaker 1: we're just gonna end up right back where we are. 1520 01:29:35,800 --> 01:29:38,160 Speaker 1: We have to try to open the door a little bit. 1521 01:29:38,640 --> 01:29:42,479 Speaker 1: I think maybe people are scared though, to look at 1522 01:29:42,520 --> 01:29:46,679 Speaker 1: the system, because if we poke holes in the things 1523 01:29:46,720 --> 01:29:49,760 Speaker 1: that we want to believe are here to protect us, 1524 01:29:52,200 --> 01:29:55,200 Speaker 1: what will that mean for us? How destabilizing will that feel? 1525 01:29:55,680 --> 01:29:58,840 Speaker 1: And what I will encourage people to do is to 1526 01:29:59,000 --> 01:30:02,040 Speaker 1: keep going, because it's on the other side of something 1527 01:30:02,080 --> 01:30:06,439 Speaker 1: destabilizing that you find a deeper understanding. You know, I 1528 01:30:06,920 --> 01:30:11,000 Speaker 1: have had destabilizing moments in showing up in these spaces 1529 01:30:11,120 --> 01:30:15,280 Speaker 1: in learning how to do this work in confronting the 1530 01:30:15,320 --> 01:30:18,160 Speaker 1: world and myself as I reflect it and all of 1531 01:30:18,200 --> 01:30:22,800 Speaker 1: these things. It's like, but it but it matters. And 1532 01:30:22,840 --> 01:30:26,000 Speaker 1: if if we believe that people ultimately are on this 1533 01:30:26,120 --> 01:30:29,120 Speaker 1: earth to grow, learn, love each other, like, isn't it 1534 01:30:29,160 --> 01:30:33,599 Speaker 1: our job to constantly be evolving? Isn't it our job 1535 01:30:33,680 --> 01:30:36,519 Speaker 1: to be seekers, not to like stick our heads in 1536 01:30:36,560 --> 01:30:38,800 Speaker 1: the sand like ostriches do that. They're very cool to 1537 01:30:38,840 --> 01:30:41,360 Speaker 1: look at, but they're dumb, So why would we want 1538 01:30:41,360 --> 01:30:45,519 Speaker 1: to emulate their behavior? You know, we are as humans, 1539 01:30:45,520 --> 01:30:48,599 Speaker 1: we are blessed with a consciousness and an understanding. Don't 1540 01:30:48,600 --> 01:30:53,560 Speaker 1: we want to cultivate that? Yeah? Exactly, exactly. And I 1541 01:30:53,600 --> 01:30:57,240 Speaker 1: would rather spend you know, the countless hours that I've 1542 01:30:57,240 --> 01:31:01,240 Speaker 1: spent watching Love Island and Nine Fiance, Although I love 1543 01:31:01,320 --> 01:31:04,880 Speaker 1: them to death, I would rather use that time to 1544 01:31:05,080 --> 01:31:09,120 Speaker 1: further my understanding of my community. And you know, human rights. 1545 01:31:09,240 --> 01:31:11,479 Speaker 1: This is human rights we're talking about. So when you 1546 01:31:11,520 --> 01:31:14,479 Speaker 1: do have conversations with people and they're like, well, I 1547 01:31:14,560 --> 01:31:16,400 Speaker 1: just don't get it, Like I just don't see why 1548 01:31:16,439 --> 01:31:19,320 Speaker 1: that's important to ask them? Is human rights important to you? 1549 01:31:19,920 --> 01:31:24,480 Speaker 1: It's important to you that every human being feel protected 1550 01:31:24,600 --> 01:31:26,760 Speaker 1: under the laws that we have in this country. Is 1551 01:31:26,800 --> 01:31:30,360 Speaker 1: it important to you that everyone feels understood and loved 1552 01:31:30,479 --> 01:31:36,519 Speaker 1: and seen? Is that important to you? Great, it's not. 1553 01:31:37,240 --> 01:31:40,639 Speaker 1: Let us know, we're open to that. That option, well, 1554 01:31:40,920 --> 01:31:43,559 Speaker 1: I'm open to that. But then, like, I just don't 1555 01:31:43,600 --> 01:31:46,960 Speaker 1: need to funk with you exactly, just let me I 1556 01:31:47,000 --> 01:31:49,760 Speaker 1: need to know though, I just want to Yeah, I 1557 01:31:49,800 --> 01:31:54,800 Speaker 1: agree to know. I always ask people to like take 1558 01:31:54,840 --> 01:31:58,920 Speaker 1: me back to where they grew up and like who 1559 01:31:58,920 --> 01:32:02,160 Speaker 1: they were at eight or ten, and I want to 1560 01:32:02,280 --> 01:32:04,719 Speaker 1: I want to add to that question for you because 1561 01:32:04,720 --> 01:32:09,599 Speaker 1: when we're talking about integrity, um so much. I think 1562 01:32:09,640 --> 01:32:14,320 Speaker 1: so much of that can come from both where and 1563 01:32:14,360 --> 01:32:18,519 Speaker 1: how we were raised and then what we choose to 1564 01:32:18,560 --> 01:32:22,280 Speaker 1: investigate and dedicate ourselves too. And it was just Mother's 1565 01:32:22,360 --> 01:32:26,360 Speaker 1: Day and you you wrote the most beautiful post. You said, 1566 01:32:26,720 --> 01:32:29,920 Speaker 1: I was raised by two beautiful, fiery West Indian queens 1567 01:32:29,920 --> 01:32:32,360 Speaker 1: who taught me everything I know about being a fearless woman. 1568 01:32:32,960 --> 01:32:35,280 Speaker 1: I couldn't be more blessed to be the daughter and 1569 01:32:35,360 --> 01:32:38,160 Speaker 1: granddaughter of the two most amazing women on this planet. 1570 01:32:39,760 --> 01:32:46,720 Speaker 1: Does that that fiery queen energy? Do you think that 1571 01:32:46,720 --> 01:32:50,799 Speaker 1: that permeates your life because of how you were raised 1572 01:32:50,880 --> 01:32:56,479 Speaker 1: because of the integrity of your family, if there is 1573 01:32:56,560 --> 01:33:00,559 Speaker 1: something that my mom and my grandma taught me. So 1574 01:33:00,600 --> 01:33:03,320 Speaker 1: when I you know, when I was I was born 1575 01:33:03,320 --> 01:33:09,439 Speaker 1: in Cleveland, Ohio, and um, I was born in twenty 1576 01:33:09,439 --> 01:33:15,800 Speaker 1: seven years old, Scorpio like long walks and beach. Um. My, 1577 01:33:15,800 --> 01:33:19,599 Speaker 1: my uh family dynamic was a little bit different because 1578 01:33:19,760 --> 01:33:23,439 Speaker 1: my mom and my biological father were not together. Um. 1579 01:33:23,560 --> 01:33:28,000 Speaker 1: Once my mom had me, when I turned five, my 1580 01:33:28,040 --> 01:33:31,439 Speaker 1: biological father left and I haven't didn't hear from him 1581 01:33:31,439 --> 01:33:34,679 Speaker 1: again until I was sixteen. But when I was two, 1582 01:33:35,040 --> 01:33:38,040 Speaker 1: my mom met my dad, who is you know, my 1583 01:33:38,160 --> 01:33:40,639 Speaker 1: dad and my life who raised me into care of me. 1584 01:33:41,040 --> 01:33:44,599 Speaker 1: So I had the opportunity to have, you know, kind 1585 01:33:44,600 --> 01:33:47,479 Speaker 1: of like a Cinderella story of you know, not not 1586 01:33:47,600 --> 01:33:52,639 Speaker 1: getting the fatherly connection that I wanted from this person. 1587 01:33:52,760 --> 01:33:55,280 Speaker 1: But I ended up still, you know, getting it in 1588 01:33:55,280 --> 01:33:57,880 Speaker 1: the end. And that's kind of like a rarity for 1589 01:33:57,920 --> 01:34:01,200 Speaker 1: a lot of people in my position. But I think 1590 01:34:01,240 --> 01:34:05,679 Speaker 1: that even having that kind of pain, like your first heartbreak, 1591 01:34:05,720 --> 01:34:09,360 Speaker 1: being from a father figure or someone who's supposed to 1592 01:34:09,400 --> 01:34:11,840 Speaker 1: be a father figure, does kind of toughen you up 1593 01:34:11,880 --> 01:34:15,639 Speaker 1: a little bit. Um. But on top of you know 1594 01:34:16,040 --> 01:34:18,920 Speaker 1: that situation. I had my mom and my grandma who 1595 01:34:19,160 --> 01:34:23,519 Speaker 1: really instilled everything into me. My mom, I mean, I'm 1596 01:34:23,560 --> 01:34:27,040 Speaker 1: just the oldest of I have five younger sisters, so 1597 01:34:27,479 --> 01:34:30,000 Speaker 1: just imagine just a bunch of mes running around, but 1598 01:34:30,040 --> 01:34:35,000 Speaker 1: they're like way smarter than me. But my mom was 1599 01:34:35,240 --> 01:34:38,200 Speaker 1: very much like, you can do whatever you want in life. 1600 01:34:38,360 --> 01:34:40,479 Speaker 1: There is nothing that you can't do. It doesn't matter 1601 01:34:40,520 --> 01:34:42,840 Speaker 1: who's in front of you. You can do every single 1602 01:34:42,880 --> 01:34:44,599 Speaker 1: thing that you want. You want it, you work for it, 1603 01:34:44,680 --> 01:34:47,400 Speaker 1: you go get it. And that's how That's how she 1604 01:34:47,680 --> 01:34:50,080 Speaker 1: was and she still is like that. You know, if 1605 01:34:50,120 --> 01:34:52,880 Speaker 1: I tell her that I'm I'm I'm auditioning for this thing, 1606 01:34:52,920 --> 01:34:55,840 Speaker 1: She's like, oh, you're getting it. It's yours, Like why 1607 01:34:55,880 --> 01:34:59,160 Speaker 1: can't it be? She She's not someone who's here for 1608 01:34:59,200 --> 01:35:03,120 Speaker 1: like self doubt or you know, self deprecation. Like you 1609 01:35:03,120 --> 01:35:07,640 Speaker 1: you stand strong and you know yourself and you you know, 1610 01:35:07,800 --> 01:35:13,400 Speaker 1: stay empowered. Joe's has empowered women, empower women. Um, and 1611 01:35:13,479 --> 01:35:16,640 Speaker 1: she is the reason why I am the way that 1612 01:35:16,720 --> 01:35:19,200 Speaker 1: I am. I don't take no shape and that's because 1613 01:35:19,240 --> 01:35:22,519 Speaker 1: of her. She taught me that. And you know, even 1614 01:35:22,600 --> 01:35:25,640 Speaker 1: just growing as a woman, I can't imagine where I 1615 01:35:25,640 --> 01:35:29,040 Speaker 1: would be without her guidance. And you know, my Grandma's 1616 01:35:29,080 --> 01:35:32,000 Speaker 1: prayers constantly, Like my grandma will call me and pray 1617 01:35:32,040 --> 01:35:34,839 Speaker 1: for me for like an hour on the phone, and 1618 01:35:34,960 --> 01:35:36,880 Speaker 1: she does it all the time, like you know, And 1619 01:35:36,920 --> 01:35:42,280 Speaker 1: so that kind of energy just has fueled me throughout 1620 01:35:42,280 --> 01:35:44,920 Speaker 1: my entire life. There's nothing that I've ever felt that 1621 01:35:45,400 --> 01:35:49,040 Speaker 1: I cannot do if I work hard enough to get it. 1622 01:35:49,080 --> 01:35:51,439 Speaker 1: There's nothing that I feel is going to stand in 1623 01:35:51,479 --> 01:35:55,719 Speaker 1: my way. And you know, of course, everybody has moments 1624 01:35:55,720 --> 01:35:59,240 Speaker 1: of being discouraged, and like you know, everyone has self 1625 01:35:59,280 --> 01:36:03,640 Speaker 1: doubt a little bit. But at the same time, I 1626 01:36:03,800 --> 01:36:05,439 Speaker 1: was taught that if I wanted, I just got to 1627 01:36:05,439 --> 01:36:10,120 Speaker 1: go get it, and that's how I've kind of learned 1628 01:36:10,200 --> 01:36:15,880 Speaker 1: to navigate their life. I really love that. I really 1629 01:36:15,920 --> 01:36:19,759 Speaker 1: love that. I feel very very lucky and very blessed, honestly, 1630 01:36:19,800 --> 01:36:22,880 Speaker 1: because I know people who don't have a good relationship 1631 01:36:22,880 --> 01:36:24,720 Speaker 1: with their mothers, or maybe they don't have a mother 1632 01:36:24,840 --> 01:36:27,160 Speaker 1: figure in their life, or maybe they got this information 1633 01:36:27,200 --> 01:36:31,120 Speaker 1: from their fathers or from a friend's mom or somebody else, 1634 01:36:31,160 --> 01:36:34,120 Speaker 1: you know, And I feel very lucky to be in 1635 01:36:34,160 --> 01:36:38,679 Speaker 1: a position where I had two strong women that beat 1636 01:36:38,720 --> 01:36:40,080 Speaker 1: it in my head that I was going to be 1637 01:36:40,120 --> 01:36:44,759 Speaker 1: a strong woman too, and it has worked. It has worked. 1638 01:36:44,800 --> 01:36:47,559 Speaker 1: I do have my moments. I was crying on Instagram 1639 01:36:47,680 --> 01:36:51,479 Speaker 1: last night, but that was for a different reason. It does, 1640 01:36:51,600 --> 01:36:56,040 Speaker 1: it does work. But I also think that that is 1641 01:36:56,120 --> 01:36:59,320 Speaker 1: part of being empowered, because I think that feeling you're 1642 01:36:59,400 --> 01:37:08,360 Speaker 1: feeling requires embodiment mhm, and being fully embodied, like not 1643 01:37:08,560 --> 01:37:13,599 Speaker 1: turning your back on yourself, requires a lot of strength 1644 01:37:13,680 --> 01:37:16,640 Speaker 1: and a lot of strength of character because you have 1645 01:37:16,680 --> 01:37:21,040 Speaker 1: to look at all of it. Yeah, So when I cry, 1646 01:37:21,160 --> 01:37:23,679 Speaker 1: I'm just like, this is because I've done the work 1647 01:37:23,720 --> 01:37:26,240 Speaker 1: and I've been to therapy and I've invested in myself 1648 01:37:26,280 --> 01:37:30,400 Speaker 1: and I can feel my feelings, you know, whereas I'm 1649 01:37:30,479 --> 01:37:34,320 Speaker 1: like Scorpio, like cry in the shower while the water 1650 01:37:34,400 --> 01:37:36,280 Speaker 1: is running, so I don't have to pretend like I'm 1651 01:37:36,320 --> 01:37:39,640 Speaker 1: even crying at all. Like that's but I'm very emotional 1652 01:37:39,840 --> 01:37:41,800 Speaker 1: and very sensitive. But I like to be in my 1653 01:37:41,800 --> 01:37:44,680 Speaker 1: own space with my emotions so I can feel protected. 1654 01:37:44,920 --> 01:37:46,840 Speaker 1: I understand that I'm a cancer. I like to go 1655 01:37:46,880 --> 01:37:52,960 Speaker 1: into my little shell and I'm like, yeah, that's that's 1656 01:37:52,960 --> 01:37:55,120 Speaker 1: how we are. That's how we are. But one thing 1657 01:37:55,200 --> 01:37:58,479 Speaker 1: can trigger it and then it's just like yeah, there 1658 01:37:58,479 --> 01:38:02,840 Speaker 1: it goes you men that you you grew up in Potomac, Maryland, 1659 01:38:03,040 --> 01:38:07,720 Speaker 1: and that you you grew up in a very you know, 1660 01:38:08,200 --> 01:38:13,520 Speaker 1: diverse community, both in you know, race, culture, religion. Um, 1661 01:38:13,600 --> 01:38:16,800 Speaker 1: what was what was it like for you? What were 1662 01:38:16,840 --> 01:38:20,439 Speaker 1: you into when you were a little girl. I mean, 1663 01:38:21,040 --> 01:38:24,479 Speaker 1: I think diverse. Maybe it's too strong of a word 1664 01:38:24,520 --> 01:38:30,200 Speaker 1: because it is predominantly white, But if you want the culture, 1665 01:38:30,240 --> 01:38:33,679 Speaker 1: you're going to find it. So, you know, I found 1666 01:38:33,880 --> 01:38:36,920 Speaker 1: I found my my tribe and my my group of people. 1667 01:38:36,960 --> 01:38:40,519 Speaker 1: We called ourselves the five Stars. I don't know why. 1668 01:38:40,560 --> 01:38:42,840 Speaker 1: It was just me and my friends and we were 1669 01:38:42,840 --> 01:38:48,200 Speaker 1: the five Stars. Um. And I mean I had so 1670 01:38:48,320 --> 01:38:51,680 Speaker 1: much fun. High school was like my favorite time. I 1671 01:38:51,720 --> 01:38:55,160 Speaker 1: couldn't stand college. I like was not into institutional learning 1672 01:38:55,200 --> 01:38:57,240 Speaker 1: at all. I just knew that I had to go 1673 01:38:57,280 --> 01:38:59,240 Speaker 1: and get my degree because my parents said that that 1674 01:38:59,280 --> 01:39:02,759 Speaker 1: was what I needed to do. Um. But in high school, 1675 01:39:02,920 --> 01:39:06,760 Speaker 1: I was captain of the cheerleading squad, and you know, 1676 01:39:07,000 --> 01:39:11,160 Speaker 1: I was very heavily into that. But I knew every 1677 01:39:11,160 --> 01:39:13,240 Speaker 1: single person in my graduating class. There was over five 1678 01:39:13,640 --> 01:39:16,679 Speaker 1: people in my graduating class. I knew everyone's name, and 1679 01:39:16,720 --> 01:39:19,840 Speaker 1: I was very much the type of person who like 1680 01:39:20,920 --> 01:39:23,760 Speaker 1: was in every group. Like I wasn't just a cheerleader 1681 01:39:23,800 --> 01:39:26,599 Speaker 1: like you know, that was not me. I wasn't like 1682 01:39:26,640 --> 01:39:32,080 Speaker 1: that stereotype. I I knew everyone and that was important 1683 01:39:32,120 --> 01:39:34,519 Speaker 1: to me. Like I've I've always been that type of person. 1684 01:39:34,600 --> 01:39:36,960 Speaker 1: I don't like seeing people get bullied. I used to 1685 01:39:37,040 --> 01:39:40,960 Speaker 1: spend a lot of time in our hallway that we 1686 01:39:41,040 --> 01:39:44,599 Speaker 1: had for people who had intellectual disabilities, because there were 1687 01:39:44,600 --> 01:39:47,080 Speaker 1: people who would come down the halls and bully them 1688 01:39:47,080 --> 01:39:49,320 Speaker 1: and I would, you know, let them know that I 1689 01:39:49,360 --> 01:39:54,200 Speaker 1: would kick their ass, and a lot of time doing that. Um. 1690 01:39:54,320 --> 01:39:57,760 Speaker 1: But I think the biggest thing of my entire childhood 1691 01:39:57,760 --> 01:40:00,599 Speaker 1: and even now is being a big sister. That that's 1692 01:40:00,680 --> 01:40:03,599 Speaker 1: kind of I think, even more so than my mom 1693 01:40:03,640 --> 01:40:07,040 Speaker 1: and my grandmother's kind of like formed me into the 1694 01:40:07,040 --> 01:40:10,280 Speaker 1: person that I am. My youngest sisters are twins and 1695 01:40:10,320 --> 01:40:15,400 Speaker 1: they're they just graduated from the eighth grade last night. So, um, 1696 01:40:15,439 --> 01:40:19,040 Speaker 1: I'm yeah, I know, I know, I'm like, I'm terrified. 1697 01:40:19,080 --> 01:40:24,400 Speaker 1: I'm so sad. I refused to accept that. I'm incomplete denial. Um, 1698 01:40:24,479 --> 01:40:27,559 Speaker 1: but I'm growing up. Yes, Yeah, I have a sister 1699 01:40:27,720 --> 01:40:29,600 Speaker 1: was twenty six. I have a sister twenty one. I 1700 01:40:29,600 --> 01:40:33,719 Speaker 1: have another sister who's nineteen than the twins that are thirteen. 1701 01:40:34,640 --> 01:40:41,240 Speaker 1: And I consider myself to be a pretty great big sister. 1702 01:40:41,320 --> 01:40:44,040 Speaker 1: There's nothing that they can't come to me with, There's 1703 01:40:44,040 --> 01:40:47,200 Speaker 1: nothing that they can't tell me. I try to be 1704 01:40:47,280 --> 01:40:50,080 Speaker 1: as non judgmental as as possible, but I'm still going 1705 01:40:50,120 --> 01:40:51,519 Speaker 1: to give you, like the real at the end of 1706 01:40:51,520 --> 01:40:56,000 Speaker 1: the day. Um. And I think about it sometimes even 1707 01:40:56,040 --> 01:40:59,000 Speaker 1: when it comes to my career and working on catfish, 1708 01:40:59,080 --> 01:41:02,240 Speaker 1: Like I am. My job is to advise and to 1709 01:41:02,320 --> 01:41:06,640 Speaker 1: help people and to be that kind of warmth and 1710 01:41:06,680 --> 01:41:09,720 Speaker 1: even like the feminine energy that you know lets you 1711 01:41:09,800 --> 01:41:12,080 Speaker 1: know that like it's going to be okay. And I 1712 01:41:12,120 --> 01:41:14,519 Speaker 1: think I get that from my role as a big sister. 1713 01:41:14,560 --> 01:41:16,360 Speaker 1: I always say that that's like the best job I've 1714 01:41:16,360 --> 01:41:20,000 Speaker 1: ever had, is, you know, being their sister and guiding 1715 01:41:20,040 --> 01:41:22,600 Speaker 1: them through life, because that's that's what I'm supposed to do. 1716 01:41:24,080 --> 01:41:28,559 Speaker 1: That's so cool. It's interesting drawing that parallel from from 1717 01:41:28,600 --> 01:41:32,320 Speaker 1: being the kind of the matriarch of your sisterhood in 1718 01:41:32,320 --> 01:41:34,080 Speaker 1: a way, like I always feel like the big sister, 1719 01:41:34,200 --> 01:41:37,080 Speaker 1: you're the big sister and like the second mom almost 1720 01:41:37,840 --> 01:41:41,320 Speaker 1: you know, yes, there's Actually my mom probably lets them 1721 01:41:41,320 --> 01:41:44,599 Speaker 1: get away with way more than I do because I'm 1722 01:41:44,720 --> 01:41:49,639 Speaker 1: very protective, like I don't play around. I wonder because 1723 01:41:50,040 --> 01:41:53,160 Speaker 1: you talk about kind of being this advisor and this 1724 01:41:53,360 --> 01:41:57,559 Speaker 1: safe space for people to come to and and in 1725 01:41:57,600 --> 01:41:59,960 Speaker 1: the story you told me about being in the pageant world, 1726 01:42:00,400 --> 01:42:02,800 Speaker 1: so many of the girls would come to you for advice. 1727 01:42:04,200 --> 01:42:07,519 Speaker 1: And I also know you know you've you've talked publicly 1728 01:42:07,520 --> 01:42:11,120 Speaker 1: about how you've had to really work to unlearn pageant 1729 01:42:11,120 --> 01:42:14,439 Speaker 1: training and to learn to say what's on your mind. 1730 01:42:15,040 --> 01:42:17,120 Speaker 1: And yeah, I don't know, I like to be like 1731 01:42:17,160 --> 01:42:20,360 Speaker 1: you always did. Though. Good for you, you know, even 1732 01:42:20,400 --> 01:42:22,280 Speaker 1: if even if it was behind closed doors and you 1733 01:42:22,320 --> 01:42:25,160 Speaker 1: did the quote unquote professional thing up on stage. But 1734 01:42:26,520 --> 01:42:28,519 Speaker 1: can you talk a little bit about what that means, 1735 01:42:28,600 --> 01:42:31,439 Speaker 1: like how how are girls in that system trained? And 1736 01:42:31,479 --> 01:42:34,280 Speaker 1: what did you want to unlearn so that you could 1737 01:42:34,280 --> 01:42:37,160 Speaker 1: be more yourself and so that you could be like 1738 01:42:37,200 --> 01:42:41,320 Speaker 1: a like a really embodied example for your siblings. Yeah, 1739 01:42:41,360 --> 01:42:43,759 Speaker 1: so my mom and I were talking about it yesterday actually, 1740 01:42:43,800 --> 01:42:46,400 Speaker 1: because my mom was the director for Miss d c 1741 01:42:46,560 --> 01:42:49,680 Speaker 1: U s A and Miss Connecticut USA. So she she 1742 01:42:49,840 --> 01:42:52,080 Speaker 1: was the director who you know, put on the pageant 1743 01:42:52,160 --> 01:42:54,280 Speaker 1: that would get whatever girl was going to be the 1744 01:42:54,320 --> 01:42:57,280 Speaker 1: representative on the national stage at Miss USA and Miss 1745 01:42:57,320 --> 01:43:01,960 Speaker 1: tin Usa. And she had back to back black ms 1746 01:43:02,000 --> 01:43:05,320 Speaker 1: d c U says, which I mean that has never happened. 1747 01:43:05,320 --> 01:43:08,840 Speaker 1: So she made history there than her current Miss tin Usa. 1748 01:43:08,880 --> 01:43:12,240 Speaker 1: The current Miss t USA was my mom's um, even 1749 01:43:12,240 --> 01:43:15,439 Speaker 1: though she's no longer a director. We were talking about 1750 01:43:15,439 --> 01:43:17,400 Speaker 1: it and we were talking about just girls in the 1751 01:43:17,400 --> 01:43:21,479 Speaker 1: pageant system and how it's very much people think of 1752 01:43:21,479 --> 01:43:25,280 Speaker 1: pageant girls it's just being like ditzy world peace blah 1753 01:43:25,320 --> 01:43:28,840 Speaker 1: blah blah, raha ra bullshit. They think of pageant girls 1754 01:43:28,840 --> 01:43:33,320 Speaker 1: as just being like pretty with no brains and you know, 1755 01:43:33,520 --> 01:43:35,640 Speaker 1: walking down the stage in Mikinny and that's just what 1756 01:43:35,680 --> 01:43:37,360 Speaker 1: they do and that's how they win and then they 1757 01:43:37,400 --> 01:43:40,320 Speaker 1: go on and blah blah blah. It's so much more 1758 01:43:40,400 --> 01:43:43,840 Speaker 1: than that, and there are so much training that goes 1759 01:43:43,880 --> 01:43:46,439 Speaker 1: on behind the scenes. We were comparing it yesterday to 1760 01:43:47,080 --> 01:43:50,320 Speaker 1: being a politician and like going through the training of 1761 01:43:50,360 --> 01:43:54,000 Speaker 1: being a politician and learning how to answer every question 1762 01:43:54,000 --> 01:43:57,360 Speaker 1: with political correctness, and you know, you do have a 1763 01:43:57,360 --> 01:43:59,920 Speaker 1: strong opinion. You also have to acknowledge the other side, 1764 01:44:00,000 --> 01:44:03,080 Speaker 1: which is something that I think I do naturally because 1765 01:44:03,120 --> 01:44:05,320 Speaker 1: I'm a Libra moon. I try to see both sides 1766 01:44:05,360 --> 01:44:10,280 Speaker 1: of everything, but everything every opinion cannot be I see 1767 01:44:10,280 --> 01:44:14,519 Speaker 1: both sides. That's literally like the go to answer. If 1768 01:44:14,560 --> 01:44:17,559 Speaker 1: you do have strong convictions and something and you know 1769 01:44:17,640 --> 01:44:20,360 Speaker 1: people might disagree, you have to acknowledge that there's another 1770 01:44:20,400 --> 01:44:24,439 Speaker 1: side of the conversation, which is fine in conversation, but 1771 01:44:24,479 --> 01:44:28,080 Speaker 1: when you're being asked on your opinion. I had to 1772 01:44:28,200 --> 01:44:31,559 Speaker 1: learn that it's okay to state that opinion. And that 1773 01:44:31,640 --> 01:44:36,760 Speaker 1: was something that I'm pretty sure I was opinionated before pageantry, 1774 01:44:36,960 --> 01:44:40,760 Speaker 1: But through training and like you know, learning different things 1775 01:44:40,760 --> 01:44:44,360 Speaker 1: about interview and how to answer questions and answering them 1776 01:44:44,439 --> 01:44:49,240 Speaker 1: within thirty seconds or less and making it concise and clear. Um, 1777 01:44:49,280 --> 01:44:51,160 Speaker 1: I think I kind of lost that a little bit. 1778 01:44:51,160 --> 01:44:53,400 Speaker 1: And so then when I got into, you know, my 1779 01:44:53,520 --> 01:44:57,639 Speaker 1: career as a TV host, I had my my coach, 1780 01:44:57,760 --> 01:45:01,120 Speaker 1: MS Barbara Abel, who's like my I love her so much. 1781 01:45:01,160 --> 01:45:04,320 Speaker 1: She's the best out of New York, who one day 1782 01:45:04,400 --> 01:45:07,160 Speaker 1: during our training session, how to stop me because I 1783 01:45:07,200 --> 01:45:09,080 Speaker 1: was reading something on proper and she was like, who 1784 01:45:09,120 --> 01:45:11,920 Speaker 1: are you talking to? Like, who the funk are you 1785 01:45:12,000 --> 01:45:14,000 Speaker 1: talking to? Because it doesn't sound like you're talking to 1786 01:45:14,000 --> 01:45:18,559 Speaker 1: anybody but yourself. You're not connecting. And I literally think 1787 01:45:18,600 --> 01:45:22,800 Speaker 1: I cried because I was like, I I may think 1788 01:45:22,800 --> 01:45:25,160 Speaker 1: that I'm connecting, but I'm really not because you're not 1789 01:45:25,479 --> 01:45:28,720 Speaker 1: learn You're you're not taught to do that in the 1790 01:45:28,760 --> 01:45:31,840 Speaker 1: pageant community. But you have to be that kind of 1791 01:45:31,880 --> 01:45:35,160 Speaker 1: like figure that holds the kid at the hospital and 1792 01:45:35,200 --> 01:45:37,960 Speaker 1: takes a picture. But you're not taught to really have 1793 01:45:38,200 --> 01:45:41,479 Speaker 1: like emotional connections to your convictions and the way that 1794 01:45:41,560 --> 01:45:45,800 Speaker 1: you feel about things, because that could be threatening and 1795 01:45:45,880 --> 01:45:49,760 Speaker 1: you could lose your title. And that's sad. I know 1796 01:45:49,840 --> 01:45:52,960 Speaker 1: a lot of pageant girls right now, black girls who 1797 01:45:53,960 --> 01:45:57,280 Speaker 1: are competing that are worried that maybe they'll lose their 1798 01:45:57,320 --> 01:46:01,080 Speaker 1: title for speaking out about black lives matter. And they're black, 1799 01:46:01,280 --> 01:46:02,920 Speaker 1: and they're like, I want to talk about these issues. 1800 01:46:02,960 --> 01:46:04,840 Speaker 1: I don't care if I lose my crown. But you know, 1801 01:46:05,560 --> 01:46:08,559 Speaker 1: at the same time, they don't want to because the 1802 01:46:08,600 --> 01:46:14,160 Speaker 1: pageant community is so anti opinion. And I mean, for me, 1803 01:46:15,640 --> 01:46:17,800 Speaker 1: I know there's a lot of pageant girls that look 1804 01:46:17,880 --> 01:46:19,600 Speaker 1: up to me and people in the pageant community that 1805 01:46:19,640 --> 01:46:23,960 Speaker 1: are still fans of mine, but there I was always 1806 01:46:23,960 --> 01:46:28,879 Speaker 1: looked at as like the black sheep, scarlet letter pageant 1807 01:46:28,960 --> 01:46:32,519 Speaker 1: girl because I'm so vocal, because I say things like 1808 01:46:32,600 --> 01:46:35,760 Speaker 1: it is and I don't sugarcoat, and that time in 1809 01:46:35,800 --> 01:46:38,360 Speaker 1: my life is done. I'm not doing that anymore. Like 1810 01:46:38,400 --> 01:46:40,280 Speaker 1: I'm a grown as woman and if I want to 1811 01:46:40,280 --> 01:46:42,160 Speaker 1: talk about the way that I feel about something, that's 1812 01:46:42,160 --> 01:46:44,719 Speaker 1: exactly what I'm gonna do because that's how I was taught, 1813 01:46:44,760 --> 01:46:49,160 Speaker 1: That's how I was brought up. So it was a level, 1814 01:46:49,160 --> 01:46:51,160 Speaker 1: though of unlearning that I had to do as far 1815 01:46:51,200 --> 01:46:56,920 Speaker 1: as my career, because it is it is drilleding you 1816 01:46:57,160 --> 01:46:59,760 Speaker 1: that you know, yes, you can have your opinion, but 1817 01:47:00,880 --> 01:47:06,880 Speaker 1: there's always a butt and it was kind of stifling 1818 01:47:06,880 --> 01:47:09,719 Speaker 1: in a way when you when you truly feel something 1819 01:47:10,240 --> 01:47:12,960 Speaker 1: that you are strong about and you're taught to have, 1820 01:47:13,400 --> 01:47:16,920 Speaker 1: you know, a platform to speak on, but make sure 1821 01:47:16,960 --> 01:47:19,760 Speaker 1: that it's a platform that's not like, you know, say 1822 01:47:19,800 --> 01:47:23,120 Speaker 1: I wanted to be pro abortion. Can't do that, Like, 1823 01:47:23,200 --> 01:47:25,639 Speaker 1: it can't be something like that. It better be something 1824 01:47:25,880 --> 01:47:28,800 Speaker 1: you know that everybody can agree on. Yeah, it's it's 1825 01:47:28,840 --> 01:47:33,360 Speaker 1: a sanitized version m hm, where They're like, maybe pick 1826 01:47:33,680 --> 01:47:37,000 Speaker 1: breast cancer and you're like, well, that's important, but not 1827 01:47:37,360 --> 01:47:42,240 Speaker 1: necessarily personally to me, And like Susan G. Coleman looks 1828 01:47:42,280 --> 01:47:45,040 Speaker 1: to be rocking that issue, so maybe I could pick 1829 01:47:45,080 --> 01:47:48,519 Speaker 1: the thing that is important to me. You know, they 1830 01:47:48,640 --> 01:47:52,880 Speaker 1: ended up they do have like designated charitable alliances that 1831 01:47:53,000 --> 01:47:56,960 Speaker 1: each title holder works with, so Miss Tinuous a kind 1832 01:47:56,960 --> 01:48:00,360 Speaker 1: of gets like their choice to pick. So mine was 1833 01:48:00,400 --> 01:48:04,120 Speaker 1: working with best Buddies and people's intellectual Disabilities. Um, but 1834 01:48:04,200 --> 01:48:06,600 Speaker 1: I also like dipped in other things. I did a 1835 01:48:06,600 --> 01:48:09,680 Speaker 1: lot of like women empowerment, like young girls going to 1836 01:48:09,720 --> 01:48:13,080 Speaker 1: inner city schools type of things, because that was something 1837 01:48:13,080 --> 01:48:15,840 Speaker 1: that was important to me. Miss USA is Breast and 1838 01:48:15,880 --> 01:48:21,720 Speaker 1: Obarian cancer awareness and miss Universe is AIDS. So you know, 1839 01:48:21,880 --> 01:48:26,000 Speaker 1: each title holder kind of takes on their own world 1840 01:48:26,080 --> 01:48:29,120 Speaker 1: of issues and things that they want to tackle. But 1841 01:48:29,200 --> 01:48:33,000 Speaker 1: if you have something that's personal to you, if it's 1842 01:48:33,040 --> 01:48:36,800 Speaker 1: something that is you know, presentable, then you can speak 1843 01:48:36,800 --> 01:48:41,040 Speaker 1: about it. But if not unfortunate, you can talk about 1844 01:48:41,040 --> 01:48:43,840 Speaker 1: it another time. I'm also just so struck though, because 1845 01:48:43,880 --> 01:48:47,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, what does years of sanitizing women who are 1846 01:48:47,720 --> 01:48:51,479 Speaker 1: public like that due to people's impressions of what women 1847 01:48:51,520 --> 01:48:54,880 Speaker 1: are supposed to do in the world. Mm hmm, yeah, 1848 01:48:55,400 --> 01:48:59,200 Speaker 1: but I also see it as pageantries and the only 1849 01:48:59,200 --> 01:49:03,479 Speaker 1: community that's that. We look at women in politics, we 1850 01:49:03,560 --> 01:49:06,600 Speaker 1: look at Hillary Clinton, we look at Kamala Harris, like, 1851 01:49:06,640 --> 01:49:11,120 Speaker 1: you can't say anything too strongly, you can't come across 1852 01:49:11,120 --> 01:49:15,400 Speaker 1: too strong or to you know, you can't advocate too 1853 01:49:15,439 --> 01:49:17,680 Speaker 1: much because people are gonna say this or people are 1854 01:49:17,680 --> 01:49:19,639 Speaker 1: going to think that, and you can't wear that color 1855 01:49:19,760 --> 01:49:24,000 Speaker 1: because that looks too aggressive, and it's all it's always that. 1856 01:49:24,640 --> 01:49:26,960 Speaker 1: It's also crazy to me because I think about how 1857 01:49:26,960 --> 01:49:31,320 Speaker 1: when a woman who is public is politically strong about something, 1858 01:49:31,640 --> 01:49:34,479 Speaker 1: they say she's being a shrew, or she seems cold, 1859 01:49:34,720 --> 01:49:36,840 Speaker 1: or she's a robot, or well we didn't like that 1860 01:49:36,880 --> 01:49:41,080 Speaker 1: for her. She's angry, especially black women. Oh, she's angry. 1861 01:49:41,120 --> 01:49:43,320 Speaker 1: And I'm like, if you call I'm gonna I'm gonna 1862 01:49:43,360 --> 01:49:48,559 Speaker 1: break something. The guy who's in politics gets angry publicly, 1863 01:49:48,600 --> 01:49:51,720 Speaker 1: they're like strong showing from Senator so and so, and 1864 01:49:51,760 --> 01:49:57,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, what, I'm so hold on. I'm very 1865 01:49:57,120 --> 01:50:01,680 Speaker 1: confused because like, if you did know another thing to 1866 01:50:01,760 --> 01:50:04,559 Speaker 1: google at home, if this sounds crazy, do you both 1867 01:50:04,600 --> 01:50:07,759 Speaker 1: men and women have estrogen an testosterone in their bodies, 1868 01:50:08,080 --> 01:50:10,840 Speaker 1: and it turns out we're all allowed to have all 1869 01:50:10,880 --> 01:50:18,599 Speaker 1: the feelings. Thank you for mentioning that, people, And it's 1870 01:50:18,680 --> 01:50:23,760 Speaker 1: it's conditioning. It's conditioning. It's conditioning from the media, it's 1871 01:50:23,800 --> 01:50:26,720 Speaker 1: conditioning from things that you know, women were told in 1872 01:50:26,960 --> 01:50:29,400 Speaker 1: the fifties and sixties, the same women who raised us 1873 01:50:29,560 --> 01:50:33,519 Speaker 1: who you know, it's the same kind of thing. And 1874 01:50:33,600 --> 01:50:39,120 Speaker 1: it's just like trying to dilute the strength of people, 1875 01:50:39,240 --> 01:50:41,679 Speaker 1: and the strength of women, and the strength of black 1876 01:50:41,720 --> 01:50:44,360 Speaker 1: people and the strength of people of color, like always 1877 01:50:44,439 --> 01:50:48,559 Speaker 1: trying to just minimize it and dilute it and shove 1878 01:50:48,600 --> 01:50:50,559 Speaker 1: it down. I can't tell you how many times I've 1879 01:50:50,560 --> 01:50:54,439 Speaker 1: been told that I'm aggressive. I'm not aggressive. I have 1880 01:50:54,520 --> 01:50:57,160 Speaker 1: a fucking opinion. Yeah, but if you need me to 1881 01:50:57,160 --> 01:51:00,760 Speaker 1: get aggressive, we can go there. But if I'm just 1882 01:51:00,840 --> 01:51:03,840 Speaker 1: saying how I feel about something, I can't tell you too. 1883 01:51:04,040 --> 01:51:06,599 Speaker 1: As a pageant girl, how many you know non pageant 1884 01:51:06,600 --> 01:51:10,240 Speaker 1: fans on the outside looking in. I'll tweet something or 1885 01:51:10,240 --> 01:51:12,920 Speaker 1: I'll talk about something, and I'll immediately get a message 1886 01:51:12,960 --> 01:51:18,360 Speaker 1: from some idiot from somewhere who's like, you know, redneck 1887 01:51:18,560 --> 01:51:21,439 Speaker 1: with you know, two dogs in his profile picture in 1888 01:51:21,439 --> 01:51:26,559 Speaker 1: a rifle and he, you know, is over sixty and 1889 01:51:26,600 --> 01:51:29,120 Speaker 1: he'll be like, I'll sure showing a lot of grace 1890 01:51:29,280 --> 01:51:32,760 Speaker 1: for a former Miss Team USA. I'm like, bitch, that 1891 01:51:32,880 --> 01:51:37,280 Speaker 1: was ten years ago. Okay, yeah, I was seventeen. Now 1892 01:51:37,320 --> 01:51:41,479 Speaker 1: I'm almost thirty. Okay. I can have an opinion. People 1893 01:51:41,560 --> 01:51:44,519 Speaker 1: can formulate opinions over time. I had an opinion, then 1894 01:51:44,560 --> 01:51:47,320 Speaker 1: I still have one. Now you're like the interesting thing. 1895 01:51:47,479 --> 01:51:51,680 Speaker 1: I am a graceful person who sometimes gets angry or 1896 01:51:51,840 --> 01:51:57,280 Speaker 1: upset or mad or emotional or happy. Like we we're 1897 01:51:57,360 --> 01:52:01,160 Speaker 1: humans with emotions, and if I didn't have emotions, you'd 1898 01:52:01,160 --> 01:52:03,479 Speaker 1: call me a fridgid bitch. But when I have emotions, exactly, 1899 01:52:03,520 --> 01:52:06,960 Speaker 1: they're the wrong ones. It's almost like protesting. No matter 1900 01:52:07,000 --> 01:52:09,519 Speaker 1: what I do, you say, well, not that way, and 1901 01:52:09,560 --> 01:52:11,600 Speaker 1: it's like, okay, so what way am I as a 1902 01:52:11,640 --> 01:52:13,639 Speaker 1: woman allowed to show up in the world. Exactly, I'm 1903 01:52:13,640 --> 01:52:18,439 Speaker 1: just curious your opinion. Just be yourself, but not like that, 1904 01:52:19,000 --> 01:52:22,280 Speaker 1: like this, And once you realize that that's what they're 1905 01:52:22,320 --> 01:52:24,360 Speaker 1: always going to say to you, you're like, oh, I'm 1906 01:52:24,400 --> 01:52:28,559 Speaker 1: just gonna be myself. Oh that's that. That has been 1907 01:52:29,560 --> 01:52:34,280 Speaker 1: me all the way I have. I have just learned 1908 01:52:34,600 --> 01:52:41,120 Speaker 1: and conquered the confidence to just be myself. If you 1909 01:52:41,160 --> 01:52:44,559 Speaker 1: meet me at any time, I'm exactly the same always. 1910 01:52:44,840 --> 01:52:46,640 Speaker 1: If you come and run up to me in the 1911 01:52:46,640 --> 01:52:48,000 Speaker 1: street and you're like, can me, how are you? And 1912 01:52:48,040 --> 01:52:49,679 Speaker 1: I'm not doing great, I'm not gonna be like I'm 1913 01:52:49,720 --> 01:52:52,960 Speaker 1: doing great and be like, bitch, listen, the day is horrible. 1914 01:52:53,840 --> 01:52:57,719 Speaker 1: My car gotta fly higher, like I'm gonna really, I'm honest. 1915 01:52:57,840 --> 01:53:02,040 Speaker 1: I just I have found such freedom and just being myself, 1916 01:53:02,880 --> 01:53:07,120 Speaker 1: and I'm able to spot things that are disingenuous and 1917 01:53:07,120 --> 01:53:10,479 Speaker 1: inauthentic very easily because of the fact that I've done 1918 01:53:10,520 --> 01:53:13,200 Speaker 1: this work to just be happy with being who I 1919 01:53:13,240 --> 01:53:18,120 Speaker 1: am and that's just what it's gonna be. It's not 1920 01:53:18,120 --> 01:53:21,000 Speaker 1: going to change. That's that's who I am. Was there 1921 01:53:21,000 --> 01:53:23,760 Speaker 1: a tipping point that you can kind of look at 1922 01:53:24,840 --> 01:53:28,080 Speaker 1: when you when you crossed that precipice and said, oh, 1923 01:53:28,120 --> 01:53:30,720 Speaker 1: I'm just going to be myself. Was it was it 1924 01:53:30,840 --> 01:53:34,040 Speaker 1: the sort of quarter life crisis moved to l A 1925 01:53:34,520 --> 01:53:36,640 Speaker 1: or was it something before that that gave you the 1926 01:53:36,720 --> 01:53:40,800 Speaker 1: confidence to move here in the first place. It was 1927 01:53:40,960 --> 01:53:43,320 Speaker 1: before that, I think it was that session with my 1928 01:53:43,439 --> 01:53:45,680 Speaker 1: TV host and coach that told me that I was 1929 01:53:45,760 --> 01:53:51,479 Speaker 1: not connecting with anyone, and like, really, honestly, after that session, 1930 01:53:52,240 --> 01:53:54,800 Speaker 1: I think the next three sessions that we had after 1931 01:53:54,840 --> 01:53:57,439 Speaker 1: that that I paid her for. Obviously we're just like 1932 01:53:57,479 --> 01:54:02,920 Speaker 1: therapy sessions. Now she's actually a certified life coach, thank god, 1933 01:54:03,000 --> 01:54:07,280 Speaker 1: because she was coaching me this whole diire time. She 1934 01:54:07,640 --> 01:54:11,360 Speaker 1: really talked me through a lot of these issues that 1935 01:54:11,400 --> 01:54:14,040 Speaker 1: I was feeling that I was having, and she basically 1936 01:54:14,160 --> 01:54:16,680 Speaker 1: let me know, like, it's not going to happen for 1937 01:54:16,720 --> 01:54:18,680 Speaker 1: you until you do this, So you need to do 1938 01:54:18,720 --> 01:54:20,760 Speaker 1: the work to get this done so that you can 1939 01:54:20,760 --> 01:54:23,320 Speaker 1: move forward to like the next part of what it 1940 01:54:23,360 --> 01:54:26,519 Speaker 1: means to to be on camera, to be a TV 1941 01:54:26,640 --> 01:54:30,160 Speaker 1: personality requires more than you just standing there with your 1942 01:54:30,200 --> 01:54:33,680 Speaker 1: beautiful face and you know, reciting some words. Yeah, it 1943 01:54:33,720 --> 01:54:37,160 Speaker 1: doesn't work like that was Was this Was this a 1944 01:54:37,240 --> 01:54:40,520 Speaker 1: person who you were working with while you were studying 1945 01:54:40,520 --> 01:54:46,000 Speaker 1: communications at Fordham or was that? Yeah? So, I, like 1946 01:54:46,040 --> 01:54:48,480 Speaker 1: I said, college was not my thing and I'm more 1947 01:54:48,520 --> 01:54:50,960 Speaker 1: of like a hands on person. So I was doing 1948 01:54:51,000 --> 01:54:53,520 Speaker 1: a lot of sitting in class and sending out emails 1949 01:54:53,520 --> 01:54:56,160 Speaker 1: and trying to you know, edit my real and doing 1950 01:54:56,160 --> 01:54:58,480 Speaker 1: things like that what I probably should have been paying attention. 1951 01:54:58,520 --> 01:55:01,120 Speaker 1: I did graduate, though for everyone something I graduated, I 1952 01:55:02,000 --> 01:55:04,560 Speaker 1: got my good grades or whatever I did. But I 1953 01:55:05,120 --> 01:55:09,440 Speaker 1: knew that I needed more than just my formal education. 1954 01:55:09,480 --> 01:55:12,840 Speaker 1: I needed some more like actual training. And so when 1955 01:55:12,880 --> 01:55:18,800 Speaker 1: I was introduced to her, it was just like, this 1956 01:55:18,840 --> 01:55:20,440 Speaker 1: is what I want to do. I know, this is 1957 01:55:20,480 --> 01:55:23,400 Speaker 1: what I want to do, and it felt right. Um 1958 01:55:23,440 --> 01:55:27,560 Speaker 1: and so, you know, through those courses, plus you know, 1959 01:55:27,600 --> 01:55:32,720 Speaker 1: actively working like in New York, that was what kind 1960 01:55:32,720 --> 01:55:35,320 Speaker 1: of made me realize that, like, this is this is 1961 01:55:35,360 --> 01:55:36,880 Speaker 1: what I need, this is what I want to do. 1962 01:55:36,960 --> 01:55:40,040 Speaker 1: And then when I decided to move to l A 1963 01:55:40,200 --> 01:55:44,920 Speaker 1: two years ago, almost now, it was what I really 1964 01:55:44,960 --> 01:55:47,800 Speaker 1: really want requires me to step out of my comfort 1965 01:55:47,880 --> 01:55:50,160 Speaker 1: zone and do something that I never thought that I 1966 01:55:50,200 --> 01:55:52,920 Speaker 1: would do because I being in New York for eight years, 1967 01:55:52,920 --> 01:55:54,680 Speaker 1: I never thought that I would ever move to l A. 1968 01:55:54,800 --> 01:55:57,320 Speaker 1: I was like, l A is not the move. New 1969 01:55:57,400 --> 01:56:00,560 Speaker 1: York is everything I don't want to be in. Where else. 1970 01:56:00,640 --> 01:56:02,480 Speaker 1: It's the best city in the world. And then I 1971 01:56:02,520 --> 01:56:05,720 Speaker 1: came to l A and I was like, I guess 1972 01:56:05,720 --> 01:56:07,840 Speaker 1: it's not so bad here. I guess I could stay 1973 01:56:07,840 --> 01:56:09,680 Speaker 1: a little bit. I guess I could give it a year. 1974 01:56:09,760 --> 01:56:11,880 Speaker 1: And now I'm like thinking about where I'm going to 1975 01:56:11,960 --> 01:56:14,680 Speaker 1: buy my house in the valley one day with my boyfriend. 1976 01:56:15,160 --> 01:56:17,680 Speaker 1: We could start a family. And now you're like, l 1977 01:56:17,720 --> 01:56:20,040 Speaker 1: A is everything. It's the best city in the world. 1978 01:56:20,120 --> 01:56:24,040 Speaker 1: I never get exactly exactly literally that literally that My 1979 01:56:24,080 --> 01:56:26,960 Speaker 1: New York friends are like, who are you again? They're like, 1980 01:56:27,000 --> 01:56:28,360 Speaker 1: are you okay? And You're like, do you know that 1981 01:56:28,440 --> 01:56:32,080 Speaker 1: here there is space and trees? Yeah? Oh I can't. 1982 01:56:32,120 --> 01:56:34,720 Speaker 1: I could not imagine doing the quarantine life in my 1983 01:56:34,760 --> 01:56:43,000 Speaker 1: New York City apartment. I would be sobbing in the 1984 01:56:43,040 --> 01:56:48,520 Speaker 1: timeline when you came here and there was all the 1985 01:56:48,520 --> 01:56:52,920 Speaker 1: space and all the trees. How long was it after 1986 01:56:53,000 --> 01:56:56,520 Speaker 1: you came here that catfish started? Like? How did that 1987 01:56:56,560 --> 01:57:00,560 Speaker 1: all come about? The way that it came about was 1988 01:57:00,600 --> 01:57:03,520 Speaker 1: that I thought I was being catfished because I got 1989 01:57:03,520 --> 01:57:07,600 Speaker 1: an email from a woman who said that she ran 1990 01:57:07,640 --> 01:57:11,040 Speaker 1: the talent department for a catfish, which she does. Her 1991 01:57:11,080 --> 01:57:14,680 Speaker 1: name is Rachel. She's amazing, um. But at the time 1992 01:57:14,680 --> 01:57:16,200 Speaker 1: when I got the email, she was like, we would 1993 01:57:16,200 --> 01:57:18,160 Speaker 1: love to have you come and coast a few episodes 1994 01:57:18,200 --> 01:57:22,480 Speaker 1: for us, and I was like, You're like, what is this. No, 1995 01:57:22,800 --> 01:57:25,280 Speaker 1: I've been working in this industry for seven years at 1996 01:57:25,280 --> 01:57:28,040 Speaker 1: that point. This does not happen. Nobody just emails you 1997 01:57:28,080 --> 01:57:30,200 Speaker 1: and asked you if you want to co host one 1998 01:57:30,200 --> 01:57:32,440 Speaker 1: of the biggest shows on a network, Like that's not 1999 01:57:32,560 --> 01:57:35,240 Speaker 1: a thing. But I was like, what do I have 2000 01:57:35,280 --> 01:57:37,240 Speaker 1: to lose. I'm going through a crisis. Anyway, I'm just 2001 01:57:37,240 --> 01:57:38,800 Speaker 1: going to email back and forth with her, because what 2002 01:57:38,840 --> 01:57:40,560 Speaker 1: was I doing anyway? I was sitting on my couch 2003 01:57:41,640 --> 01:57:45,600 Speaker 1: drinking wine bottles of wine, crying, looking up nine to 2004 01:57:45,720 --> 01:57:47,720 Speaker 1: five job because I was like, I'm never gonna make it. 2005 01:57:48,360 --> 01:57:51,400 Speaker 1: That was like my My one biggest moment of self 2006 01:57:51,440 --> 01:57:53,640 Speaker 1: doubt was when I turned twenty five and I had 2007 01:57:53,640 --> 01:57:55,720 Speaker 1: my quarter century life crisis, and I was like, what 2008 01:57:55,760 --> 01:57:58,160 Speaker 1: am I doing with my life? Who am I going 2009 01:57:58,200 --> 01:57:59,960 Speaker 1: to be? Like? What am I? How am I actively 2010 01:58:00,040 --> 01:58:06,160 Speaker 1: working towards my goal and my dreams? And I got 2011 01:58:06,160 --> 01:58:11,040 Speaker 1: that email and I remember just being like, it's whatever, 2012 01:58:11,120 --> 01:58:13,880 Speaker 1: It's whatever. And this was the same week that I 2013 01:58:13,920 --> 01:58:16,360 Speaker 1: was moving to l A. I was packing up my 2014 01:58:16,400 --> 01:58:19,000 Speaker 1: apartment in New York and my mom was there, my 2015 01:58:19,040 --> 01:58:21,400 Speaker 1: sisters were there, helping me pack. My boyfriend was there, 2016 01:58:22,840 --> 01:58:27,200 Speaker 1: my dog is psychotic, and they're all helping me pack 2017 01:58:27,280 --> 01:58:30,200 Speaker 1: up my apartment. And I'm still thinking, like, I'm going 2018 01:58:30,240 --> 01:58:32,360 Speaker 1: to cancel this move. I'm going to stay in New York. 2019 01:58:32,520 --> 01:58:34,200 Speaker 1: There's no reason for me to go to l A. 2020 01:58:35,000 --> 01:58:37,080 Speaker 1: Bad things happened to ex page and girls when they 2021 01:58:37,080 --> 01:58:38,880 Speaker 1: moved to l A. They just become like a part 2022 01:58:38,920 --> 01:58:40,920 Speaker 1: of the landscape. I don't want to be that, Like, 2023 01:58:41,000 --> 01:58:45,800 Speaker 1: that's not what I want. And I remember getting the 2024 01:58:45,840 --> 01:58:50,520 Speaker 1: email from the production company saying, yeah, so we want 2025 01:58:50,560 --> 01:58:55,000 Speaker 1: to have you fly out on Friday. I think it 2026 01:58:55,160 --> 01:58:59,160 Speaker 1: was this was a Wednesday that they were contacting me. Um, 2027 01:58:59,280 --> 01:59:01,160 Speaker 1: they were like, we're gonna have you fly on Friday 2028 01:59:01,240 --> 01:59:04,160 Speaker 1: to go film the first episode. Here's your quinet information, 2029 01:59:04,520 --> 01:59:06,720 Speaker 1: like the first class seat, all this stuff. And I'm 2030 01:59:06,760 --> 01:59:10,880 Speaker 1: like still thinking that it's bullshit because this just doesn't happen. 2031 01:59:12,240 --> 01:59:15,360 Speaker 1: And I knew that I was going to have to 2032 01:59:15,400 --> 01:59:19,080 Speaker 1: be wherever they were sending me from Friday to like Sunday, 2033 01:59:19,160 --> 01:59:21,600 Speaker 1: and I knew that my movers were coming Monday morning 2034 01:59:21,960 --> 01:59:24,560 Speaker 1: at eight o'clock in the morning to take my stuff 2035 01:59:24,600 --> 01:59:28,040 Speaker 1: to l A. And I'm still thinking that this whole 2036 01:59:28,040 --> 01:59:30,200 Speaker 1: thing is bullshit. My boyfriend literally had to grab me 2037 01:59:30,240 --> 01:59:32,640 Speaker 1: and be like, are you insane, Like this is one 2038 01:59:32,640 --> 01:59:35,600 Speaker 1: of the biggest opportunities, Like why snap out of it? 2039 01:59:35,640 --> 01:59:37,600 Speaker 1: And I'm just like crying, being like I don't want 2040 01:59:37,600 --> 01:59:39,600 Speaker 1: to leave New York and he's like, don't you see 2041 01:59:39,640 --> 01:59:43,879 Speaker 1: this as a sign. So I end up going to Iowa, 2042 01:59:43,960 --> 01:59:46,480 Speaker 1: which is where we're filming the episode, because sometimes the 2043 01:59:46,600 --> 01:59:50,560 Speaker 1: episodes start in the city that we're filming it. So 2044 01:59:50,600 --> 01:59:53,640 Speaker 1: I fought Iowa, I meet the production crew, I meet everybody. 2045 01:59:53,680 --> 01:59:55,760 Speaker 1: I'm still thinking it's bullshit. I was just like, this 2046 01:59:55,840 --> 01:59:58,320 Speaker 1: is a really funny story. I'm gonna get kidnapped, and like, 2047 01:59:58,800 --> 02:00:00,880 Speaker 1: who knows what's gonna happen to me, but at least 2048 02:00:00,920 --> 02:00:04,560 Speaker 1: I have a funny story to tell. It wasn't until 2049 02:00:04,600 --> 02:00:08,280 Speaker 1: the next day, which was our first filming day, Nive 2050 02:00:08,400 --> 02:00:13,640 Speaker 1: walks in the building and my heart just like dropped 2051 02:00:13,640 --> 02:00:16,440 Speaker 1: to my stomach. I was like, Holy sh it, this 2052 02:00:16,520 --> 02:00:20,080 Speaker 1: is actually happening. I was so nervous, but we filmed 2053 02:00:20,080 --> 02:00:22,280 Speaker 1: the first episode and it was amazing, And then I 2054 02:00:22,320 --> 02:00:24,840 Speaker 1: came back to New York and I cried my eyes 2055 02:00:24,880 --> 02:00:27,160 Speaker 1: out in my bed for the last time, and then 2056 02:00:27,240 --> 02:00:30,240 Speaker 1: I moved to l A and then what was it 2057 02:00:30,320 --> 02:00:34,200 Speaker 1: that was in um I think that was in September. 2058 02:00:36,520 --> 02:00:39,720 Speaker 1: By July they asked me to be the permanent co 2059 02:00:39,840 --> 02:00:44,720 Speaker 1: host and that was after six episodes is like a guest, 2060 02:00:45,720 --> 02:00:48,360 Speaker 1: and I didn't even know that that was going to happen. 2061 02:00:48,480 --> 02:00:51,200 Speaker 1: I was still looking for other jobs and still auditioning 2062 02:00:51,200 --> 02:00:54,120 Speaker 1: for other things, because you know, being an entertainment you 2063 02:00:54,160 --> 02:00:57,320 Speaker 1: know that it's just not nothing is guaranteed, and you 2064 02:00:57,400 --> 02:00:59,520 Speaker 1: just never know. People change their minds at the last 2065 02:00:59,520 --> 02:01:01,480 Speaker 1: minute and never know what the people at the top 2066 02:01:01,520 --> 02:01:05,040 Speaker 1: are going to decide, and it's very uncertain. Everything is 2067 02:01:05,160 --> 02:01:11,600 Speaker 1: very uncertain. But I got it and it was one 2068 02:01:11,640 --> 02:01:15,360 Speaker 1: of the greatest days of my entire career. That was 2069 02:01:15,760 --> 02:01:17,720 Speaker 1: and it still is. I love it. It's like my 2070 02:01:17,800 --> 02:01:20,480 Speaker 1: dream job. I get to give people unfolicited advice, like 2071 02:01:20,520 --> 02:01:24,560 Speaker 1: this is exactly what I want to do, and I 2072 02:01:24,600 --> 02:01:27,080 Speaker 1: mean what I wanted you every day. God, isn't that 2073 02:01:27,200 --> 02:01:31,480 Speaker 1: so fun? You travel everywhere for the show, You guys 2074 02:01:32,480 --> 02:01:34,560 Speaker 1: to your point, you show up, you try to help people, 2075 02:01:34,600 --> 02:01:36,120 Speaker 1: You try to help them get to the bottom of 2076 02:01:36,160 --> 02:01:39,960 Speaker 1: these situations they're in. But really it's to get into 2077 02:01:39,960 --> 02:01:44,600 Speaker 1: their emotions and their vulnerability and where they're where their 2078 02:01:44,800 --> 02:01:49,080 Speaker 1: stuff flies. You know, are some of the craziest things 2079 02:01:49,080 --> 02:01:53,560 Speaker 1: you've seen hosting the show. Oh my god. I mean, 2080 02:01:54,160 --> 02:01:56,120 Speaker 1: aside from the girl that thought that she was talking 2081 02:01:56,120 --> 02:02:00,440 Speaker 1: to Chris Brown for like three years but yeah, he 2082 02:02:00,800 --> 02:02:02,880 Speaker 1: didn't like to face time because he thought he was ugly. 2083 02:02:02,920 --> 02:02:04,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, girl, I can guarantee you Chris Brown does 2084 02:02:04,840 --> 02:02:09,560 Speaker 1: not think he's ugly. UM. Aside from things like that, 2085 02:02:11,360 --> 02:02:13,840 Speaker 1: you know, just some of I know, I know, I 2086 02:02:13,880 --> 02:02:18,800 Speaker 1: love her to death that she was so sweet forthake. UM. 2087 02:02:18,880 --> 02:02:22,160 Speaker 1: Aside from that, we had a story just this past 2088 02:02:22,200 --> 02:02:27,640 Speaker 1: season UM of sisters that were not certain that they 2089 02:02:27,680 --> 02:02:31,040 Speaker 1: were sisters. They were getting UM they were connected by 2090 02:02:31,080 --> 02:02:36,680 Speaker 1: their father, who was basically saying to each one of them, 2091 02:02:36,920 --> 02:02:39,400 Speaker 1: like outside of each other, was like, that's not my daughter. 2092 02:02:39,440 --> 02:02:40,640 Speaker 1: I don't know why you're talking to her, and then 2093 02:02:40,680 --> 02:02:42,160 Speaker 1: telling the other one that's not my kid, I don't 2094 02:02:42,160 --> 02:02:44,120 Speaker 1: know why you're talking to her, trying to like pit 2095 02:02:44,200 --> 02:02:48,120 Speaker 1: them against each other. And we had to do a 2096 02:02:48,200 --> 02:02:52,160 Speaker 1: DNA test, which for me was very triggering because, like 2097 02:02:52,200 --> 02:02:55,360 Speaker 1: I said, you know, my childhood growing up without my 2098 02:02:55,400 --> 02:03:01,120 Speaker 1: biological father, I was just thinking, you know, what if 2099 02:03:01,160 --> 02:03:04,280 Speaker 1: this was me? What if I, you know, met my 2100 02:03:04,560 --> 02:03:07,360 Speaker 1: long lost sibling or something like that, and you know, 2101 02:03:07,480 --> 02:03:09,120 Speaker 1: we had to get a DNA test, like what, I 2102 02:03:09,200 --> 02:03:11,280 Speaker 1: really want to open up those kind of worms because 2103 02:03:11,320 --> 02:03:15,280 Speaker 1: then it became you know, which one of them is 2104 02:03:15,320 --> 02:03:18,960 Speaker 1: his biological kid, which one of them isn't you know? 2105 02:03:19,240 --> 02:03:22,240 Speaker 1: And it was just that was a very emotional episode 2106 02:03:22,240 --> 02:03:24,560 Speaker 1: for me. They ended up being sisters, so thank god. 2107 02:03:25,240 --> 02:03:28,360 Speaker 1: But I was like, these some of these issues are 2108 02:03:28,400 --> 02:03:30,600 Speaker 1: really really tough and where we are dealing with a 2109 02:03:30,600 --> 02:03:33,960 Speaker 1: lot of things that don't actually get mentioned on air. 2110 02:03:34,320 --> 02:03:36,440 Speaker 1: And there's a lot of like mental health things that 2111 02:03:36,560 --> 02:03:39,720 Speaker 1: go on, and a lot of people that we meet 2112 02:03:39,800 --> 02:03:42,880 Speaker 1: that you know, maybe they were suicidal for years, or 2113 02:03:43,280 --> 02:03:46,200 Speaker 1: you know, they've been abused, or they were in domestically 2114 02:03:46,240 --> 02:03:49,520 Speaker 1: abusive relationships, and it's it is heavy. Like I had 2115 02:03:49,560 --> 02:03:54,200 Speaker 1: to really learn to kind of separate myself a little 2116 02:03:54,200 --> 02:03:57,640 Speaker 1: bit because I leave these situations thinking about these people 2117 02:03:57,720 --> 02:04:01,080 Speaker 1: for months. Some of my don't think about all the time, 2118 02:04:01,400 --> 02:04:03,320 Speaker 1: and I check up on them even though they don't know. 2119 02:04:03,400 --> 02:04:05,400 Speaker 1: I like creep on their facebooks and stuff like that, 2120 02:04:05,480 --> 02:04:09,200 Speaker 1: just to see how they're doing. Because I care about that. 2121 02:04:09,240 --> 02:04:11,800 Speaker 1: And we do have an amazing team with our production 2122 02:04:11,840 --> 02:04:14,120 Speaker 1: who goes back and checks in on people and you know, 2123 02:04:14,280 --> 02:04:17,040 Speaker 1: make sure that they're okay and getting whatever help that 2124 02:04:17,120 --> 02:04:19,880 Speaker 1: they need, which is great, but you know, I want 2125 02:04:19,920 --> 02:04:23,560 Speaker 1: to see it firsthand, and they don't, you know, always 2126 02:04:23,560 --> 02:04:25,480 Speaker 1: give me that information because it's like we have to 2127 02:04:25,520 --> 02:04:28,720 Speaker 1: do the next episode, so you're like, I need to 2128 02:04:28,800 --> 02:04:31,280 Speaker 1: know if this person is all right. God, I would 2129 02:04:31,280 --> 02:04:33,000 Speaker 1: have such a hard time. I'd be the same. It'd 2130 02:04:33,040 --> 02:04:35,000 Speaker 1: be like three am, and I'd be on their Instagram 2131 02:04:35,080 --> 02:04:38,720 Speaker 1: just like is she okay? Yeah? Yeah, like going through 2132 02:04:38,720 --> 02:04:41,720 Speaker 1: Twitter feeds. You know, you you hit the nail on 2133 02:04:41,720 --> 02:04:43,320 Speaker 1: the head because you said you're dealing with a lot 2134 02:04:43,320 --> 02:04:47,040 Speaker 1: of issues that don't normally get air time. What has 2135 02:04:47,960 --> 02:04:50,960 Speaker 1: hosting the show taught you that was maybe not something 2136 02:04:51,040 --> 02:04:55,440 Speaker 1: you expected. I think one of the biggest things is, 2137 02:04:56,200 --> 02:04:58,320 Speaker 1: you know, like we were talking about before, we do 2138 02:04:58,400 --> 02:05:01,360 Speaker 1: travel a lot, and I think that a lot of people, 2139 02:05:01,440 --> 02:05:04,320 Speaker 1: especially people who live on the big coasts of like 2140 02:05:04,920 --> 02:05:09,920 Speaker 1: you know, East and West Coast, you see the entire 2141 02:05:10,000 --> 02:05:13,680 Speaker 1: nation as East and West Coast. You see like this 2142 02:05:13,800 --> 02:05:16,520 Speaker 1: is the world for you. The world is New York 2143 02:05:16,560 --> 02:05:18,560 Speaker 1: and it ends in l A like that is the world. 2144 02:05:19,440 --> 02:05:23,240 Speaker 1: But there is so much middle area that you don't see, 2145 02:05:24,760 --> 02:05:28,360 Speaker 1: where people are so isolated. And I know a lot 2146 02:05:28,400 --> 02:05:30,480 Speaker 1: of people watch the show and they're like, how are 2147 02:05:30,480 --> 02:05:32,720 Speaker 1: people still getting catfish? Like why are they still on 2148 02:05:32,760 --> 02:05:35,360 Speaker 1: these websites? Why don't they FaceTime? Blah blah blah. I'm like, 2149 02:05:35,440 --> 02:05:38,400 Speaker 1: you don't know how these people live. You have to 2150 02:05:38,440 --> 02:05:43,280 Speaker 1: put yourself in another person choose to understand the nearest 2151 02:05:43,320 --> 02:05:48,040 Speaker 1: town to them might be three hours away. I've seen that. 2152 02:05:48,120 --> 02:05:50,080 Speaker 1: We did an episode in Texas where we were just 2153 02:05:50,200 --> 02:05:53,440 Speaker 1: driving through fields for hours because people don't realize that 2154 02:05:53,480 --> 02:05:55,600 Speaker 1: we're at real need is the one who's actually driving 2155 02:05:55,640 --> 02:05:57,240 Speaker 1: the car. I never have to drive, which is great, 2156 02:05:57,720 --> 02:06:02,080 Speaker 1: but we're just in the car together for hours, cruising 2157 02:06:02,120 --> 02:06:06,400 Speaker 1: through these empty, empty, empty planes of just grass and 2158 02:06:06,560 --> 02:06:15,040 Speaker 1: trees and you know, weeds and nothing else. That is America. Like, 2159 02:06:15,160 --> 02:06:19,120 Speaker 1: while we do have the big coasts, that whole middle 2160 02:06:19,280 --> 02:06:22,000 Speaker 1: area of the world of I mean of the United States, 2161 02:06:23,000 --> 02:06:26,720 Speaker 1: is America. That's where people live, that's where people work, 2162 02:06:26,800 --> 02:06:31,120 Speaker 1: that's where people developed their beliefs. That's that is it. 2163 02:06:32,320 --> 02:06:35,480 Speaker 1: And that was something that I really had to learn 2164 02:06:35,600 --> 02:06:38,680 Speaker 1: because you know, even with the show, like they'll we'll 2165 02:06:38,720 --> 02:06:40,760 Speaker 1: fly into like the major airport. They'll be like, yeah, 2166 02:06:40,800 --> 02:06:43,000 Speaker 1: we're flying in the l A X or whatever, but 2167 02:06:43,080 --> 02:06:46,480 Speaker 1: we're really going four hours away to like the middle 2168 02:06:46,480 --> 02:06:49,160 Speaker 1: of nowhere where there's like the only thing around is 2169 02:06:49,200 --> 02:06:55,720 Speaker 1: a taco bell, which I don't mind, but exactly, I mean, God, 2170 02:06:56,320 --> 02:06:59,640 Speaker 1: I drive through right now sounds delicious, I know, and 2171 02:06:59,760 --> 02:07:03,960 Speaker 1: there be thinking about what I want to eat, so 2172 02:07:04,160 --> 02:07:06,480 Speaker 1: I know. I think one of the things I love 2173 02:07:06,560 --> 02:07:11,120 Speaker 1: most about what I've taken from this conversation, aside from 2174 02:07:11,160 --> 02:07:14,320 Speaker 1: the fact that you and I share parts of our brains, 2175 02:07:14,320 --> 02:07:20,200 Speaker 1: which is thrilling um is is that you've you've talked 2176 02:07:20,240 --> 02:07:24,919 Speaker 1: about and then highlighted, you know, by example, the claiming 2177 02:07:24,920 --> 02:07:29,160 Speaker 1: of joy, like there's so much joy and so much 2178 02:07:29,200 --> 02:07:32,800 Speaker 1: to laugh about despite what is rough in the world, 2179 02:07:32,920 --> 02:07:35,880 Speaker 1: and and so much to learn, you know, from people 2180 02:07:35,880 --> 02:07:39,160 Speaker 1: who are different, and so many places to explore and 2181 02:07:39,240 --> 02:07:43,040 Speaker 1: things to look at and do, and it's all it's 2182 02:07:43,080 --> 02:07:46,839 Speaker 1: beautiful and it I know that I feel a lot 2183 02:07:47,360 --> 02:07:51,440 Speaker 1: more excited right now than I did an hour before 2184 02:07:51,480 --> 02:07:53,440 Speaker 1: our call, when I was just like reading the news 2185 02:07:53,440 --> 02:07:59,120 Speaker 1: and sobbing. Thank you, thank you, for that, and and 2186 02:07:59,200 --> 02:08:02,920 Speaker 1: I wonder what in that spirit of of wanting to 2187 02:08:03,040 --> 02:08:08,400 Speaker 1: maintain our joy and fight for it, what gives you 2188 02:08:09,040 --> 02:08:13,640 Speaker 1: hope when you look forward. I think the biggest thing 2189 02:08:13,760 --> 02:08:18,880 Speaker 1: right now is just seeing the support. Like there's so 2190 02:08:18,960 --> 02:08:23,280 Speaker 1: much support, There's so much community. There are so many 2191 02:08:23,320 --> 02:08:26,120 Speaker 1: people who are ready and willing to understand. People who 2192 02:08:26,160 --> 02:08:29,120 Speaker 1: are saying I didn't understand before, but I want to now, 2193 02:08:29,240 --> 02:08:31,960 Speaker 1: or you know, I'll never understand, but I want to empathize, 2194 02:08:32,000 --> 02:08:34,280 Speaker 1: and I want to know more. Like I'm doing the work, 2195 02:08:34,320 --> 02:08:37,760 Speaker 1: and the people who are messaging me and commenting and 2196 02:08:37,800 --> 02:08:40,640 Speaker 1: saying like, I never saw it like this before, I'm 2197 02:08:40,680 --> 02:08:43,720 Speaker 1: so glad that you shared that perspective, or you know 2198 02:08:43,880 --> 02:08:46,400 Speaker 1: I'm having I've gotten so many messages and people who 2199 02:08:46,440 --> 02:08:50,000 Speaker 1: are like, thank you for your insight. Because of what 2200 02:08:50,080 --> 02:08:52,240 Speaker 1: you taught me, I'm able to go and talk to 2201 02:08:52,520 --> 02:08:56,720 Speaker 1: my mom, who you know, thinks that black people are 2202 02:08:56,720 --> 02:08:59,040 Speaker 1: the ones who are committing all the crime and you 2203 02:08:59,080 --> 02:09:02,400 Speaker 1: know that's why they're being arrested, and you know, thanking 2204 02:09:02,440 --> 02:09:05,560 Speaker 1: me for these things. And even teenagers who are coming 2205 02:09:05,560 --> 02:09:08,280 Speaker 1: to me being like, hey, like I'm only fourteen, but 2206 02:09:09,440 --> 02:09:12,000 Speaker 1: my dad said something the other night. That really made 2207 02:09:12,040 --> 02:09:14,160 Speaker 1: me upset, and I knew it wasn't right. So because 2208 02:09:14,160 --> 02:09:16,880 Speaker 1: of what you were talking about, I used that and 2209 02:09:16,920 --> 02:09:20,040 Speaker 1: I educated myself and I tried to educate him, and 2210 02:09:20,080 --> 02:09:22,360 Speaker 1: now he gets it a little bit more and I 2211 02:09:22,400 --> 02:09:25,640 Speaker 1: could see the change. And that is what gives me hope, 2212 02:09:25,760 --> 02:09:30,600 Speaker 1: is the fact that people are having the tough conversations 2213 02:09:30,880 --> 02:09:36,320 Speaker 1: and I feel that Obviously, the deaths that we have 2214 02:09:36,440 --> 02:09:41,960 Speaker 1: experienced of innocent black lives being lost to police or 2215 02:09:42,000 --> 02:09:47,040 Speaker 1: whatever else, it's horrible, but it has also been the 2216 02:09:47,120 --> 02:09:51,640 Speaker 1: catalyst for what feels like change to me, and that 2217 02:09:51,880 --> 02:09:54,400 Speaker 1: gives me hope. That is what I feel like. It's 2218 02:09:54,440 --> 02:09:56,240 Speaker 1: something that I can at least hold onto for a 2219 02:09:56,280 --> 02:09:59,000 Speaker 1: little bit. The fact that people are down to call 2220 02:09:59,080 --> 02:10:04,080 Speaker 1: out brands and networks and you know, companies for not 2221 02:10:04,280 --> 02:10:07,200 Speaker 1: standing up for this and for not speaking it as 2222 02:10:07,240 --> 02:10:12,720 Speaker 1: it is and for giving blanketed statements and you know bullshit. Honestly, 2223 02:10:12,880 --> 02:10:16,160 Speaker 1: it's all bullshit for the ones that are calling them out. 2224 02:10:16,320 --> 02:10:20,800 Speaker 1: I'm I am with that, like that is what we 2225 02:10:20,880 --> 02:10:22,720 Speaker 1: need to do. If we want to create the change, 2226 02:10:22,720 --> 02:10:24,600 Speaker 1: we have to be loud about it. It can't just 2227 02:10:24,680 --> 02:10:27,440 Speaker 1: be passive anymore, because that does not work, and it 2228 02:10:27,520 --> 02:10:30,680 Speaker 1: hasn't worked. So that's where I find my hope and 2229 02:10:30,720 --> 02:10:35,560 Speaker 1: my joy. And you know, funny means help and TikTok's 2230 02:10:35,800 --> 02:10:38,400 Speaker 1: things like that, Like those things are helpful and like, 2231 02:10:38,520 --> 02:10:42,280 Speaker 1: you know, having some sense of just like laughter and 2232 02:10:42,280 --> 02:10:45,600 Speaker 1: in peace. My one of my friends and I we're 2233 02:10:45,640 --> 02:10:48,200 Speaker 1: talking about, you know, at the end of the day, 2234 02:10:48,240 --> 02:10:50,360 Speaker 1: like if there's one thing Black people gonna get, it's 2235 02:10:50,360 --> 02:10:52,560 Speaker 1: we're gonna get our laugh Like we're gonna we're gonna 2236 02:10:52,640 --> 02:10:55,160 Speaker 1: laugh through the pain. We're gonna smile through it like 2237 02:10:55,280 --> 02:10:59,280 Speaker 1: we you know, we're known for doing that, and that 2238 02:11:00,040 --> 02:11:02,640 Speaker 1: also gives me hope. It's like, yeah, we've been beaten 2239 02:11:02,680 --> 02:11:05,320 Speaker 1: down and we've seen horrible things happen, but at the 2240 02:11:05,400 --> 02:11:09,400 Speaker 1: end of the day, we are strong and we you know, 2241 02:11:09,560 --> 02:11:12,600 Speaker 1: are able to push through the pain to be able 2242 02:11:12,600 --> 02:11:14,880 Speaker 1: to get to the other side, and we always have been. 2243 02:11:15,880 --> 02:11:18,320 Speaker 1: So as long as we just continue on that path, 2244 02:11:18,840 --> 02:11:21,040 Speaker 1: we're going to see the change that we're going to be, 2245 02:11:21,160 --> 02:11:22,680 Speaker 1: the change that we want to see. And we're going 2246 02:11:22,720 --> 02:11:26,000 Speaker 1: to see that change because we're actively doing it mm hmm. 2247 02:11:27,480 --> 02:11:29,560 Speaker 1: And it's important I think for all of us to 2248 02:11:29,600 --> 02:11:34,280 Speaker 1: remember that joy is an act of resistance, Like, if 2249 02:11:34,280 --> 02:11:37,320 Speaker 1: you let them steal your joy, then what could be 2250 02:11:37,360 --> 02:11:40,640 Speaker 1: your reason for protesting? What are you protesting and defensive? 2251 02:11:40,960 --> 02:11:45,040 Speaker 1: You know that the joy for you and then when 2252 02:11:45,040 --> 02:11:48,600 Speaker 1: you begin to move outward into the wider chasm of society, 2253 02:11:48,640 --> 02:11:51,800 Speaker 1: like the joy for your community. Really, that's what these 2254 02:11:51,840 --> 02:11:56,360 Speaker 1: fights are for, for people to be able to pursue joy. 2255 02:11:56,600 --> 02:11:58,520 Speaker 1: You know, the pursuit of happiness is meant to be 2256 02:11:58,560 --> 02:12:04,520 Speaker 1: one of our inalienable right MHM, along with protesting, which 2257 02:12:04,560 --> 02:12:07,880 Speaker 1: is the first amendment protected under the First Amendment in 2258 02:12:07,920 --> 02:12:13,560 Speaker 1: case it's actually protected and police are actually supposed to 2259 02:12:13,600 --> 02:12:16,320 Speaker 1: protect our right to protest, not try to end the 2260 02:12:16,400 --> 02:12:19,600 Speaker 1: protest per the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. 2261 02:12:21,640 --> 02:12:24,400 Speaker 1: I love all the homework we've given to the good 2262 02:12:24,440 --> 02:12:27,880 Speaker 1: people listening today, if you, I know, I gave you 2263 02:12:27,920 --> 02:12:31,240 Speaker 1: all a lot of assignments. But Cammy, if you could 2264 02:12:31,280 --> 02:12:36,760 Speaker 1: give the listeners an assignment of one thing that they 2265 02:12:36,760 --> 02:12:40,400 Speaker 1: can do, you know, not just because like I want 2266 02:12:40,400 --> 02:12:43,040 Speaker 1: to call in women who look like me or women 2267 02:12:43,080 --> 02:12:47,680 Speaker 1: who don't know a lot about the black community to research, 2268 02:12:48,480 --> 02:12:51,560 Speaker 1: but for for you, is there an assignment that you 2269 02:12:51,600 --> 02:12:54,640 Speaker 1: would give people something that you want them to do 2270 02:12:54,960 --> 02:12:59,320 Speaker 1: an action that you want them to take after they 2271 02:12:59,320 --> 02:13:02,560 Speaker 1: listened to this conversation. Oh god, I have to pick 2272 02:13:02,680 --> 02:13:06,040 Speaker 1: just one. Sometimes you can pick how pick three? I 2273 02:13:06,080 --> 02:13:10,000 Speaker 1: don't care the first. I want to put you on 2274 02:13:10,080 --> 02:13:14,040 Speaker 1: the hot spot. Yeah, yeah, I appreciate it. The first 2275 02:13:14,080 --> 02:13:17,560 Speaker 1: thing that I want people to do is to continue 2276 02:13:17,640 --> 02:13:19,800 Speaker 1: keep doing what you're doing. If you haven't started having 2277 02:13:19,800 --> 02:13:24,280 Speaker 1: those tough conversations, start them. Just begin see where it leads. 2278 02:13:24,600 --> 02:13:28,240 Speaker 1: Be open to having the conversations. If no one's had 2279 02:13:28,280 --> 02:13:32,080 Speaker 1: the tough conversations with you, there's nothing wrong with talking 2280 02:13:32,080 --> 02:13:35,800 Speaker 1: about race. We have to talk about it. And I 2281 02:13:35,800 --> 02:13:39,200 Speaker 1: don't see color is not that's not a thing. We 2282 02:13:39,240 --> 02:13:41,080 Speaker 1: need to see color. We need to see color. We 2283 02:13:41,120 --> 02:13:44,360 Speaker 1: need to appreciate color. We need to love our diversity, 2284 02:13:44,400 --> 02:13:46,160 Speaker 1: We need to love what makes this different. We need 2285 02:13:46,240 --> 02:13:50,320 Speaker 1: to honor those things. And that's how we're going to 2286 02:13:50,400 --> 02:13:54,000 Speaker 1: be able to move forward. The next thing is watch 2287 02:13:54,120 --> 02:13:57,240 Speaker 1: their teenth documentary on Netflix, because I know a lot 2288 02:13:57,280 --> 02:13:59,720 Speaker 1: of people who had doubts. Once they have seen that, 2289 02:13:59,840 --> 02:14:02,120 Speaker 1: it opens up a different part of their brain that 2290 02:14:02,240 --> 02:14:06,000 Speaker 1: maybe they didn't even know was there. And it's it's 2291 02:14:06,080 --> 02:14:09,320 Speaker 1: very insightful and I feel like there it's undeniable, So 2292 02:14:09,800 --> 02:14:13,760 Speaker 1: watch that, let me know what you think. And the 2293 02:14:13,880 --> 02:14:19,680 Speaker 1: last thing, it's just to keep educating yourself, like continue 2294 02:14:19,720 --> 02:14:22,560 Speaker 1: to keep searching for more information. Don't take anything at 2295 02:14:22,560 --> 02:14:26,360 Speaker 1: face of value, like search deeper, find out more. There 2296 02:14:26,400 --> 02:14:29,320 Speaker 1: are so many more stories other than just George Floyd 2297 02:14:29,360 --> 02:14:33,640 Speaker 1: and other than just Brianna Taylor. There are there are many, 2298 02:14:33,680 --> 02:14:36,320 Speaker 1: and make sure that you're looking into the different stories 2299 02:14:36,320 --> 02:14:39,040 Speaker 1: and other communities too. There's there's so many and you 2300 02:14:39,120 --> 02:14:41,840 Speaker 1: will be disappointed, and you will be angry, you will 2301 02:14:41,920 --> 02:14:45,800 Speaker 1: be sad, you will be upset. But that's a good 2302 02:14:45,840 --> 02:14:50,800 Speaker 1: thing when it comes to fueling the fire for creating 2303 02:14:50,880 --> 02:14:53,480 Speaker 1: change and for seeking justice. So as long as you 2304 02:14:53,560 --> 02:14:55,560 Speaker 1: do those things, you are good in my book. And 2305 02:14:55,600 --> 02:14:59,440 Speaker 1: I am happy to talk about them with you, because 2306 02:15:00,560 --> 02:15:03,600 Speaker 1: these these things need to be discussed. It's it's far 2307 02:15:04,400 --> 02:15:06,840 Speaker 1: we we've we've waited far too long to even have 2308 02:15:07,000 --> 02:15:11,320 Speaker 1: this conversation, and I'm glad that we're having it now. 2309 02:15:12,160 --> 02:15:14,520 Speaker 1: But there's a lot of people that have a lot 2310 02:15:14,560 --> 02:15:16,400 Speaker 1: of catching up to do, and just acknowledge that. And 2311 02:15:16,400 --> 02:15:18,880 Speaker 1: it's okay to not know everything. It's okay to seek 2312 02:15:18,880 --> 02:15:23,560 Speaker 1: out more information. So know that as well. Yes, hmm, 2313 02:15:23,840 --> 02:15:32,080 Speaker 1: I just feel excited, pumped. So my favorite question, I mean, 2314 02:15:32,200 --> 02:15:34,520 Speaker 1: We've had a lot of favorite moments, but my favorite 2315 02:15:34,560 --> 02:15:37,600 Speaker 1: question to ask everyone who comes on the podcast as 2316 02:15:37,600 --> 02:15:41,560 Speaker 1: it is the title, is when you think about the 2317 02:15:41,600 --> 02:15:44,160 Speaker 1: idea of a work in progress, what feels like a 2318 02:15:44,200 --> 02:15:49,640 Speaker 1: work in progress in your life right now? Who? I mean? 2319 02:15:50,600 --> 02:15:53,400 Speaker 1: The obvious answer is myself. I'm always going to be 2320 02:15:53,440 --> 02:15:58,520 Speaker 1: a work in progress. Um. I think that even for 2321 02:15:58,640 --> 02:16:03,320 Speaker 1: me having some of these conversations and acknowledging times where 2322 02:16:04,240 --> 02:16:09,960 Speaker 1: I have been complacent with racism, with things that are 2323 02:16:10,000 --> 02:16:11,960 Speaker 1: said to me that I know are anti black, and 2324 02:16:12,000 --> 02:16:14,200 Speaker 1: I just brush it off and I just kind of, 2325 02:16:14,720 --> 02:16:16,400 Speaker 1: you know, move on to the next thing, because I 2326 02:16:16,440 --> 02:16:18,440 Speaker 1: don't want to have to defend my blackness all the time. 2327 02:16:18,800 --> 02:16:21,920 Speaker 1: I don't want to have to, you know, come across 2328 02:16:21,960 --> 02:16:25,360 Speaker 1: as aggressive or whatever all the time. Like sometimes you 2329 02:16:25,360 --> 02:16:27,360 Speaker 1: don't want to have to fight, especially when you're tired 2330 02:16:28,200 --> 02:16:35,360 Speaker 1: of fighting all the time. So I think untapping or 2331 02:16:35,440 --> 02:16:42,480 Speaker 1: tapping into that part of myself and working forward to 2332 02:16:43,120 --> 02:16:45,000 Speaker 1: what I hope will be lessons that I'll be able 2333 02:16:45,080 --> 02:16:49,039 Speaker 1: to teach my future children, that is what I'm working on. 2334 02:16:49,160 --> 02:16:52,720 Speaker 1: I'm working on, you know, my own self and my 2335 02:16:52,760 --> 02:16:55,560 Speaker 1: own views, and how am I handling these things when 2336 02:16:55,600 --> 02:16:58,240 Speaker 1: it comes about, and how am I acting different? How 2337 02:16:58,240 --> 02:16:59,840 Speaker 1: am I being the change that I want to see? 2338 02:16:59,840 --> 02:17:07,320 Speaker 1: How am I, you know, contributing to the change. That 2339 02:17:07,560 --> 02:17:09,520 Speaker 1: is what I'm working on, at least right now in 2340 02:17:09,640 --> 02:17:12,200 Speaker 1: this moment. That is what I care about. My boyfriend 2341 02:17:12,240 --> 02:17:14,840 Speaker 1: has been out protesting, like I said, and you know, 2342 02:17:15,000 --> 02:17:18,360 Speaker 1: I've been on the internet doing my thing because, to 2343 02:17:18,400 --> 02:17:20,000 Speaker 1: be honest, I'm too scared to go out and protest, 2344 02:17:20,080 --> 02:17:21,840 Speaker 1: even though I would love to. Like, there's been a 2345 02:17:21,840 --> 02:17:25,160 Speaker 1: lot going on, and I feel that everyone can occupy 2346 02:17:25,200 --> 02:17:29,840 Speaker 1: different spaces in the fight for change. But I've one 2347 02:17:29,879 --> 02:17:32,480 Speaker 1: thing that I've told him, and we've had conversations about, 2348 02:17:32,560 --> 02:17:34,480 Speaker 1: is like when we have kids one day, I want 2349 02:17:34,520 --> 02:17:37,720 Speaker 1: them to know that we were actively fighting for things 2350 02:17:37,760 --> 02:17:40,520 Speaker 1: to look differently for them, and when they see the 2351 02:17:40,520 --> 02:17:42,959 Speaker 1: world and when they get older, that they won't have 2352 02:17:43,080 --> 02:17:45,680 Speaker 1: to see this ship like that. They will be able 2353 02:17:45,680 --> 02:17:50,200 Speaker 1: to see something different and feel differently and feel more 2354 02:17:50,240 --> 02:17:54,680 Speaker 1: supported and get the things that maybe we didn't get. So, 2355 02:17:55,440 --> 02:17:57,160 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if that answers the question, 2356 02:17:57,200 --> 02:18:00,880 Speaker 1: but that is what I'm working on and I do 2357 02:18:01,040 --> 02:18:03,840 Speaker 1: want to keep working on that because it's not this 2358 02:18:03,920 --> 02:18:08,879 Speaker 1: is not something that's going away. Sounds pretty awesome to me, 2359 02:18:10,400 --> 02:18:16,720 Speaker 1: thank you. I hope so I hope it works. Yeah, 2360 02:18:16,840 --> 02:18:19,720 Speaker 1: and you know, I do. I do want to say 2361 02:18:19,800 --> 02:18:26,320 Speaker 1: and I'm very careful about how to say this because 2362 02:18:26,680 --> 02:18:32,720 Speaker 1: oh you just I'm a straight shooter, spit it out. 2363 02:18:32,760 --> 02:18:36,400 Speaker 1: The point obviously of what's happening right now is certainly 2364 02:18:36,440 --> 02:18:41,840 Speaker 1: not for white people to like take over a movement. 2365 02:18:41,879 --> 02:18:44,199 Speaker 1: It's like we're supposed to go and show up and listen. 2366 02:18:44,560 --> 02:18:46,119 Speaker 1: You know. One of the things I loved the most 2367 02:18:46,160 --> 02:18:49,000 Speaker 1: about being at the protest with Black Lives Matter and 2368 02:18:49,040 --> 02:18:52,480 Speaker 1: Movement for Black Lives is past Tuesday, um, and they've 2369 02:18:52,480 --> 02:18:54,320 Speaker 1: been there have been actions every day, but that that 2370 02:18:54,360 --> 02:18:58,360 Speaker 1: one in particular, when the riot police showed up, it 2371 02:18:58,480 --> 02:19:01,080 Speaker 1: was the job of you know, me and people who 2372 02:19:01,120 --> 02:19:06,320 Speaker 1: look like me to go to the front and we 2373 02:19:06,440 --> 02:19:11,080 Speaker 1: built lines of white people, like lines deep, yeah, and 2374 02:19:11,120 --> 02:19:14,240 Speaker 1: then we sat down so they could see over us. 2375 02:19:14,280 --> 02:19:16,160 Speaker 1: They could see what was going on. But it was like, 2376 02:19:16,240 --> 02:19:20,279 Speaker 1: you're not coming in. You're not coming in here, and 2377 02:19:20,800 --> 02:19:23,800 Speaker 1: we're not letting you near those people are people back 2378 02:19:24,040 --> 02:19:28,280 Speaker 1: are like no, And it was cool because where we 2379 02:19:28,320 --> 02:19:31,800 Speaker 1: were sitting, like people couldn't really hear the speakers, and 2380 02:19:31,800 --> 02:19:33,560 Speaker 1: there was like a whole rally happening behind us, And 2381 02:19:33,600 --> 02:19:35,640 Speaker 1: I was like, we don't need to not everything needs 2382 02:19:35,680 --> 02:19:40,080 Speaker 1: to be for us all the time, but something, you know, 2383 02:19:40,400 --> 02:19:43,080 Speaker 1: like something that I that I think about When you say, like, 2384 02:19:43,680 --> 02:19:45,400 Speaker 1: you know, I wish I could, but I feel scared, 2385 02:19:45,640 --> 02:19:48,240 Speaker 1: part of me is also like, maybe you should take 2386 02:19:48,240 --> 02:19:51,200 Speaker 1: a break and let us get out and put our 2387 02:19:51,240 --> 02:19:54,360 Speaker 1: bodies on the lines for a while. You know, a 2388 02:19:54,480 --> 02:19:57,320 Speaker 1: lot of the footage I've been seeing have been are 2389 02:19:57,480 --> 02:20:00,720 Speaker 1: non black allies, and our white ally is out there 2390 02:20:01,680 --> 02:20:04,200 Speaker 1: going for it, And what obviously breaks my heart is 2391 02:20:04,240 --> 02:20:07,000 Speaker 1: that they're experiencing the same kind of treatment that we 2392 02:20:07,080 --> 02:20:09,760 Speaker 1: have faced for so long. But at the same time, 2393 02:20:09,879 --> 02:20:12,760 Speaker 1: sometimes it takes maybe the person who doesn't think that 2394 02:20:12,800 --> 02:20:15,679 Speaker 1: this is real, maybe the person who thinks it's a conspiracy, 2395 02:20:16,280 --> 02:20:18,400 Speaker 1: Maybe the person who you know, was still planning on 2396 02:20:18,480 --> 02:20:21,760 Speaker 1: voting for Trump to see people who look like them 2397 02:20:21,879 --> 02:20:26,760 Speaker 1: being trampled and mishandled by the police. Maybe it takes 2398 02:20:26,800 --> 02:20:30,760 Speaker 1: that to to click something in their brains to say, 2399 02:20:31,320 --> 02:20:34,720 Speaker 1: oh shit, Okay, this isn't right, you know, and I 2400 02:20:34,760 --> 02:20:37,519 Speaker 1: think it gives you even a different level of understanding 2401 02:20:37,520 --> 02:20:40,160 Speaker 1: it from being a part of it. And I think 2402 02:20:40,160 --> 02:20:45,119 Speaker 1: it's also really important for a lot of us who 2403 02:20:45,120 --> 02:20:48,240 Speaker 1: are not black, whether you know white or people of color, 2404 02:20:48,560 --> 02:20:52,800 Speaker 1: is is to know that there are so many black 2405 02:20:52,840 --> 02:20:56,480 Speaker 1: people taking to the streets to march for their right 2406 02:20:57,120 --> 02:21:00,720 Speaker 1: to live during a pandemic that is more likely to 2407 02:21:00,800 --> 02:21:06,640 Speaker 1: kill them than us. And that to me is extremely significant. 2408 02:21:06,920 --> 02:21:09,480 Speaker 1: And and not not because I'm like, oh wow, but 2409 02:21:09,600 --> 02:21:15,080 Speaker 1: more because I'm like, damn, the risks continue to compound intersectionally, 2410 02:21:15,800 --> 02:21:20,959 Speaker 1: and so for me, it's like a literal honor to 2411 02:21:21,040 --> 02:21:24,439 Speaker 1: say like I'll go, I'll go, I'll go stand outside, 2412 02:21:24,480 --> 02:21:27,600 Speaker 1: Like you stay home and do what you're doing online 2413 02:21:27,680 --> 02:21:30,920 Speaker 1: because that's filling you, and like, don't worry about it. 2414 02:21:31,040 --> 02:21:33,160 Speaker 1: I have an end ninety five from my earthquake kit 2415 02:21:33,560 --> 02:21:37,480 Speaker 1: that I bought five years ago, So please stay home, 2416 02:21:38,400 --> 02:21:41,879 Speaker 1: thank you. I I it's been on my mind, and 2417 02:21:41,920 --> 02:21:43,840 Speaker 1: I know a lot of my friends who are black 2418 02:21:43,920 --> 02:21:45,760 Speaker 1: also feel the same way, and even you know some 2419 02:21:45,800 --> 02:21:49,080 Speaker 1: of my friends who aren't. But I know for for 2420 02:21:49,280 --> 02:21:54,840 Speaker 1: many of my black friends were like, I just don't 2421 02:21:54,879 --> 02:21:57,120 Speaker 1: know if I should take that risk. I just don't 2422 02:21:57,120 --> 02:22:00,040 Speaker 1: know if I should go out there, because at the 2423 02:21:59,879 --> 02:22:02,199 Speaker 1: end of the day, you and I can be protesting 2424 02:22:02,240 --> 02:22:05,600 Speaker 1: together and maybe the cop will approach me and won't 2425 02:22:05,640 --> 02:22:09,120 Speaker 1: approach you like you know, and that that is that 2426 02:22:09,280 --> 02:22:12,080 Speaker 1: is where the fear comes in. And I know you 2427 02:22:12,120 --> 02:22:14,760 Speaker 1: can't let fear take over, especially in times like this. 2428 02:22:14,840 --> 02:22:19,000 Speaker 1: But I do, honestly, genuinely feel especially for people who 2429 02:22:19,040 --> 02:22:21,160 Speaker 1: feel like they're not doing enough, and then maybe they 2430 02:22:21,160 --> 02:22:24,080 Speaker 1: are an online activist or maybe they are an artist 2431 02:22:24,160 --> 02:22:27,160 Speaker 1: who's putting out the posts that you're seeing all over 2432 02:22:27,240 --> 02:22:31,480 Speaker 1: social media for you know, these Black Lives Matter posts, 2433 02:22:31,480 --> 02:22:35,600 Speaker 1: and um, we need there's so we need it all. 2434 02:22:35,720 --> 02:22:39,240 Speaker 1: It's it's a combination of everyone that is going to 2435 02:22:39,520 --> 02:22:46,959 Speaker 1: create this change and everyone and we're all necessary exactly exactly. 2436 02:22:52,000 --> 02:22:55,160 Speaker 1: This show is executive produced by me Sophia Bush and 2437 02:22:55,240 --> 02:22:59,959 Speaker 1: sim Sarna. Our supervising producer is Alison Bresnik are Associate 2438 02:23:00,040 --> 02:23:03,280 Speaker 1: producer is Kate Linley. This episode was edited by Matt 2439 02:23:03,320 --> 02:23:06,640 Speaker 1: Sasaki and our music was written by Jack Garrett and 2440 02:23:06,640 --> 02:23:09,040 Speaker 1: produced by Mark Foster. This show is brought to you 2441 02:23:09,080 --> 02:23:10,080 Speaker 1: by Brilliant Anatomy