Speaker 1: Hello Sunshine, Hey, besties. Today on the bright Side, it
Speaker 1: is the one and only Chelsea Handler. You know her
Speaker 1: from her late night shows and her multiple New York
Speaker 1: Times best selling books. She's out with a brand new
Speaker 1: book called I'll Have What She's Having and a brand
Speaker 1: new Netflix comedy special.
Speaker 2: It's Thursday, February twentieth. I'm Danielle Robe.
Speaker 1: And I'm Simone Voice, and this is the bright Side
Speaker 1: from Hello Sunshine. Danielle, you sound like Sunshine today, Sunshine.
Speaker 3: Indeed, you know I caught the flu, Simone.
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, thank you.
Speaker 2: I'm actually okay, but my voice does sound a little wonky,
Speaker 2: So I'm so sorry about that.
Speaker 1: Oh no, please don't apologize. I was right where you are,
Speaker 1: I want to say, like three or four weeks ago.
Speaker 4: So it's gonna get better. It's gonna pass.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's going around. It's crazy. Everybody I know is
Speaker 2: so sick.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I kind of like this new voiced in Yelle. Maybe
Speaker 1: you should like try to keep it. It's like kind
Speaker 1: of sexy.
Speaker 2: It is sort of sexy and masculine in some ways.
Speaker 1: Wait, I'm trying to think of like I need you
Speaker 1: to say, like a phrase. Can you say, like, come hither,
Speaker 1: M I just want to hear how it sounds.
Speaker 3: Come hither.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god, Danielle, that's so good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, coming hither today to our show is the
Speaker 2: one and only Chelsea Handler Simone. I have been a
Speaker 2: fan of Chelsea ever since I was a little kid,
Speaker 2: Like she has been on my interview vision board for years.
Speaker 1: Okay, So what is it about Chelsea that you feel
Speaker 1: like so attracted to? Like why was she on your
Speaker 1: vision board?
Speaker 3: Because she's so unfiltered.
Speaker 2: I feel like she says the stuff that you're not
Speaker 2: supposed to say out loud. She says the quiet part
Speaker 2: out loud a lot, and whether she's talking about sex
Speaker 2: or politics or celebrity culture, she just never cared about
Speaker 2: being liked.
Speaker 3: It was always about humor.
Speaker 2: And the truth, and honestly, sometimes it was ruthless, but
Speaker 2: it was always sharp, you know.
Speaker 3: And I just I so respect that.
Speaker 2: I'm not like that, I'm not gonna say the quiet
Speaker 2: part out loud, and so hearing her say it was
Speaker 2: just so inspiring to me.
Speaker 4: I so agree with you.
Speaker 1: And I also feel like she was really ahead of
Speaker 1: her time in that sense, like just having that courage
Speaker 1: to be so unfiltered in a world that felt so
Speaker 1: proper and curated. She really has always led the way.
Speaker 3: You're so right.
Speaker 2: She redefined late night TV in my opinion, because before Chelsea,
Speaker 2: it was such a boys club. And she was one
Speaker 2: of the very few women to host her own late
Speaker 2: night talk show, Chelsea Lately. And she did it without
Speaker 2: trying to fit into this male dominated format. She did
Speaker 2: her own thing. She talked about pop culture in a
Speaker 2: smart way. I feel like she paved the way for
Speaker 2: a lot of women in comedy completely.
Speaker 1: Also, late night is still a boys club like I
Speaker 1: would love to see Chelsea back on primetime airwaves.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, can we start that petition?
Speaker 1: Seriously, seriously call your congress person. We're getting Chelsea back
Speaker 1: on late night.
Speaker 3: Simone. You can't make me laugh, not with this voice.
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 5: I will.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna do this just completely straight laced.
Speaker 1: Okay. Well, missing this interview was a bummer for me,
Speaker 1: but I can hear just how thrilling this was for you.
Speaker 1: So I'm so happy for you that you got to
Speaker 1: check this one off your vision board and I can't
Speaker 1: wait to listen.
Speaker 3: Simone.
Speaker 2: You were missed for sure, and I think you and
Speaker 2: the listeners are going to be surprised by this conversation.
Speaker 3: A lot came out.
Speaker 2: We laughed, we cried, and we definitely talked about her
Speaker 2: new book that's going to be out soon I'll have
Speaker 2: what She's Having, And in it she chronicle stories of
Speaker 2: her life that detail the woman she wanted to be,
Speaker 2: the woman she became, and the woman that she is
Speaker 2: today on the cusp of turning fifty. So here's my
Speaker 2: conversation with Chelsea Handler.
Speaker 5: Chelsea Handler, I'm so excited to say this. Welcome to
Speaker 5: the bright side. Hi, congratulations on your new book. You're
Speaker 5: about to break into this totally new chapter of your life.
Speaker 5: And I read that you're intentionally releasing your seventh book,
Speaker 5: I'll have what She's having on your fiftieth birthday.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yes, So you wrote in the book that you can't
Speaker 5: believe that you're alive at fifty.
Speaker 6: You have to tell me why. Well, I mean for
Speaker 6: obvious reasons. I mean, if you know anything about me,
Speaker 6: you know that I push it real hard. I never
Speaker 6: imagined that I would be fifty. I remember knowing my
Speaker 6: dad was fifty two. I think my dad had a
Speaker 6: heart attack when he was fifty two and I was like, oh,
Speaker 6: I guess it's.
Speaker 4: A wrap on him.
Speaker 6: And then he came home from the hospital and lived
Speaker 6: another thirty years. But now, like fifty years or well
Speaker 6: forty years later, fifty.
Speaker 4: Is not what fifty used to be.
Speaker 6: Like, I am pretty psyched about turning fifty. I'm pretty
Speaker 6: psyched that my life is like this at fifty, and
Speaker 6: I'm pretty excited about all the decisions I've made.
Speaker 5: I want to ask you all about that because I've
Speaker 5: read all your books and it was so different. It
Speaker 5: feels like you took this step back and zoomed out
Speaker 5: on your own life from this bird's eye view and
Speaker 5: examine the choices, the heartbreak, the defining moments. And you've
Speaker 5: been really vocal about all the therapy. But after examining
Speaker 5: the woman that you became, did it match up to
Speaker 5: that vision that you had as a little girl.
Speaker 4: I think it did.
Speaker 6: I think it took me a long time to try
Speaker 6: to remember what all of these visions I had of
Speaker 6: who I would be when I grew up, Like as
Speaker 6: a little girl, I think we're always like, this is
Speaker 6: the guy I want to be, This is the woman
Speaker 6: I want to be, This is the type of person
Speaker 6: I want to be, but we kind of always lose
Speaker 6: sight of that along the way. Life gets in the
Speaker 6: way and we're hustling, we're trying to achieve something.
Speaker 4: I remember moving.
Speaker 6: Out to LA when I was nineteen years old, and
Speaker 6: I just wanted to like make it, but I didn't
Speaker 6: know what I wanted to do. I just wanted to
Speaker 6: be someone that people knew, but I didn't know what
Speaker 6: my talent was, so it was pretty like shallow aspirations.
Speaker 4: It was like, oh, I basically wanted to be famous, but.
Speaker 6: As I started to pursue that and doors would either
Speaker 6: shut or open, you get into an avenue. And the
Speaker 6: avenue I ended up in was stand up comedy, which
Speaker 6: really allowed me to express myself without an editor, which
Speaker 6: allowed me to build an entire career just off of
Speaker 6: being myself, of my personality.
Speaker 4: And I had no idea when I was a little
Speaker 4: kid that that was even something that you could do.
Speaker 6: But the overarching theme, I think when the book starts
Speaker 6: out with this letter of me as a young girl
Speaker 6: like kind of envisioning what kind of woman I wanted
Speaker 6: to be, it was more about like.
Speaker 4: The spirit of who I was going to be. I
Speaker 4: was going to be bold, and I was going to
Speaker 4: be brave, and I wasn't going to follow people around.
Speaker 4: I was going to be a follower. I was going
Speaker 4: to be a leader.
Speaker 6: I was going to stick my neck out, I was
Speaker 6: going to say the thing that nobody wanted to say.
Speaker 4: Like I really wanted to just be a great sister
Speaker 4: to the world.
Speaker 6: And I have two great sisters, and I I grew
Speaker 6: up like in a very loving sisterly vibe, like my.
Speaker 4: Friends are my sisters. Strangers that are women are my sisters.
Speaker 6: And I think the biggest theme that I always wanted
Speaker 6: to embody was being a sister. You know, in my
Speaker 6: early career I would be more of a bully. I
Speaker 6: was more of like this is how I see I'm
Speaker 6: the cool chick. And then you grow up and you're like, no, no, no,
Speaker 6: that's not cool. You know, being cool is being like
Speaker 6: a lover to everyone. You know, you don't have to
Speaker 6: be the most popular, you don't have to be the coolest.
Speaker 4: It's not about that. Being cool is.
Speaker 6: Being really just great to everybody and giving everybody a chance.
Speaker 5: I love that you said sister to the world because
Speaker 5: there's this huge emphasis in the book of really just
Speaker 5: supporting women. And one of my favorite stories is something
Speaker 5: that you call the pocket full of Sunshine story.
Speaker 3: Will you share that?
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 6: I was at the Montreal Comedy Festival just for laughs,
Speaker 6: which when I was coming up.
Speaker 4: Was the thing.
Speaker 6: It was the festival that meant you were on your way,
Speaker 6: that meant you were like gonna make it or you
Speaker 6: were close to making it. And I was in my
Speaker 6: late twenties and I went and I did a showcase
Speaker 6: and there was all this buzz about me, and I
Speaker 6: was like, Okay, this is my moment, like I'm getting
Speaker 6: hitting it, like all the executives that were important were going.
Speaker 4: To be there on that night.
Speaker 6: And then I bombed badly, like eight shit. And I
Speaker 6: remember zach Elifanakis walked me to my hotel room after
Speaker 6: I was mortified, and he was like, you're just gonna
Speaker 6: have to be alone and deal with this. It's going
Speaker 6: to be pretty upsetting. This is part of the industry.
Speaker 6: And I was like, no, this isn't part of the industry.
Speaker 3: Because it's not like you to bomb, right, No.
Speaker 4: But again I wasn't.
Speaker 6: I was like in a moment where I got caught
Speaker 6: and swept up in my own kissed and vinegar, like
Speaker 6: it wasn't real because I got all this buzz about
Speaker 6: me instead of remaining grounded and like in my body,
Speaker 6: I got swept away in the moment and I was grounded,
Speaker 6: and I and the lack of reaction at the top,
Speaker 6: I just was like I was very young, you know,
Speaker 6: I was like twenty seven or something, so I just
Speaker 6: wasn't as seasoned as I am now. So it threw
Speaker 6: me off, and then it threw off my whole set,
Speaker 6: and then I sped through my set.
Speaker 4: I thought my life was over. I really thought, Okay,
Speaker 4: now I have to think about what else I can
Speaker 4: do for a career, or am I gonna have to
Speaker 4: get married? You know what I mean? Like what happens now?
Speaker 6: And then I went back to LA and I had
Speaker 6: another show the next night in Montreal, but no one
Speaker 6: came to that because everyone had seen me bomb.
Speaker 4: And then like this girl's not ready, she's not up
Speaker 4: his phone.
Speaker 6: And then I got to LA and my manager said
Speaker 6: there was one executive that had not been at the showcase.
Speaker 4: Her name is Grace who she used to work at NBC.
Speaker 4: I don't know if she still does.
Speaker 6: And he said she wants to come see you at
Speaker 6: Luna Park on Tuesday. She's the only executive that didn't
Speaker 6: see the showcase. And I went to Luna Park and
Speaker 6: I did the same exact set, and I crushed it
Speaker 6: because now.
Speaker 4: Everything was off the table. The next morning he called
Speaker 4: me and said, Okay, they want to give you a
Speaker 4: development deal for your own TV show for one hundred
Speaker 4: thousand dollars. And I thought I had hit the jackpot.
Speaker 6: Like it was just the span of events, like it
Speaker 6: was a seventy two hour span, and within that seventy
Speaker 6: two hours, what I thought was over was born again.
Speaker 6: So I share that story in the book because I
Speaker 6: want everyone, whether you're in the entertainment industry or not,
Speaker 6: to know that every failure has a rainbow around the corner.
Speaker 4: My corner was really quick, but that's how quickly things
Speaker 4: can change in your life.
Speaker 5: You said that you call back on that story during
Speaker 5: hard times, and if you're willing to share, I'm wondering
Speaker 5: when the last time you needed that story was?
Speaker 4: Oh, all the time? I mean I always need.
Speaker 6: I mean I had a pretty rough year in terms
Speaker 6: of stuff I'm dealing with this house I'm building, it's
Speaker 6: been pretty icky. Like what's gone on, stuff that's happened,
Speaker 6: and I can be really positive and have a good
Speaker 6: attitude every morning, and then it's kind of like you
Speaker 6: spend your day just getting tossed around and knocked over, and.
Speaker 4: Then by six o'clock you're like, I fucking give up.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna fucking take a xanax, go to bed, and
Speaker 6: I'll try again tomorrow.
Speaker 4: Because this positivity thing isn't working.
Speaker 6: But you have to remember in those times, I always
Speaker 6: look at that experience whatever difficulty I'm having, is like
Speaker 6: in the times where I don't feel confident, where I
Speaker 6: don't feel strong.
Speaker 4: To remember that there is a version of you that
Speaker 4: does and they're not that far away.
Speaker 5: It's so important to have that in your back pocket
Speaker 5: because if you can't call on it, you never get
Speaker 5: back up. I feel like a lot of women in
Speaker 5: comedy owe their career to you in a lot of ways.
Speaker 5: Are there any people whose careers you feel like you
Speaker 5: had a hand in that you're particularly proud of. I don't.
Speaker 4: I would never give myself credit for well.
Speaker 6: I mean, I had a hand in a lot of
Speaker 6: people's careers because they were on Chelsea lately.
Speaker 4: But I was just recognizing talent.
Speaker 6: That's something that a lot of It takes more than
Speaker 6: one person to recognize that talent.
Speaker 4: I can give them an open door.
Speaker 6: But there's nothing that gives me more pleasure than introducing
Speaker 6: someone to the world, especially another woman.
Speaker 4: And that was the beauty of Chelsea Lately. I could book.
Speaker 6: Whomever I wanted, and if you were an underdog, if
Speaker 6: you were remedial, if you were weird, you were on
Speaker 6: the show like that made you more welcome, Like we
Speaker 6: were doing DEI before DEI was a thing. That is
Speaker 6: the nature of who I am. I want the hunderdogs
Speaker 6: to succeed. So with Fortune, I just took one look
Speaker 6: at Fortune and she said one thing, and I was like,
Speaker 6: I was in love with her, And ats going with
Speaker 6: another humongous talent.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: No, I think I'm just good at recognizing talent. I'm
Speaker 6: not the reason they're talent. They're successful, but I definitely
Speaker 6: recognize their talent for sure.
Speaker 5: At the beginning of our conversation, you said you had
Speaker 5: this idea of who you wanted to be and that
Speaker 5: you were going to be defiant. To me, that signals
Speaker 5: like you had this inner voice before you even maybe
Speaker 5: knew what an inner voice was, And there's a lot
Speaker 5: of stories in the book about how you were a
Speaker 5: dream chaser and a go getter even ten eleven thirteen.
Speaker 5: I mean, you were reading Tolstoy, you were buying first
Speaker 5: class plane tickets, when your parents wearing coach. Knowing what
Speaker 5: you know now about Hollywood and fame and all of
Speaker 5: the ups and downs, would you do it over again?
Speaker 6: Yeah, for sure, every single minute, even the pain, you know,
Speaker 6: like the pain I would.
Speaker 4: Bring around again.
Speaker 6: Maybe I would have been a little bit more you know,
Speaker 6: responsible and more careful about you know, less hurtful to others.
Speaker 4: At certain times in my life. I would try to.
Speaker 6: Be more mindful of that. But I also think it's
Speaker 6: the engine that gets you where you need to go.
Speaker 6: I think I talk so much about my younger life
Speaker 6: and being a young person because I really believe the
Speaker 6: essence of who we are is really at its.
Speaker 4: Peak when we are children before the world, you know,
Speaker 4: besmirches us, before we are thrown around and fall down
Speaker 4: so many time.
Speaker 6: It's like the true essence of who we are before
Speaker 6: we face any challenges, is the person we want to
Speaker 6: keep going back to throughout our life, Like that little
Speaker 6: inner child that's who we really are, and that's never
Speaker 6: a bad person, you know, that's always a good person.
Speaker 4: And it's always good to kind of check in with yourself,
Speaker 4: like how am I doing?
Speaker 6: Would I be proud of me as a seven year old?
Speaker 6: Would I look at myself today and be like, I'm
Speaker 6: proud of you? And the answer is fucking.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, yes, I'm fucking proud of you. You're crushing it.
Speaker 5: You did so much of what you said you were
Speaker 5: going to do, and then some there is a moment
Speaker 5: in the book, though, where you're not so proud.
Speaker 3: Can I share it? Sure? Okay?
Speaker 5: So you go to Jane Fonda's house and it's kind
Speaker 5: of a surprising invitation. You're at a party and she
Speaker 5: calls you after the party and she's like, we got
Speaker 5: to talk. You made people at the party uncomfortable and
Speaker 5: you were like so taken aback that Jane Fonda called
Speaker 5: you out, which understandable. Is that the first time that
Speaker 5: you were on the other side of brutal honesty? Yes?
Speaker 3: Is that why it hurt?
Speaker 4: It hurt?
Speaker 6: But I got to say I took it like I
Speaker 6: took it like a man. I was like, whoa you
Speaker 6: want to be honest with me. I'm known for my honesty,
Speaker 6: so I've got to be able to dish it and
Speaker 6: take it.
Speaker 4: And moreover, I knew in that moment, A.
Speaker 6: She was never going to have to speak to me
Speaker 6: again about my behavior, like I would make the first
Speaker 6: time the last time. And B that was an example
Speaker 6: of sister like. She showed me what it was to
Speaker 6: be a sister to another woman. She did not have
Speaker 6: to take the time to invite me to her house,
Speaker 6: she did not have to spend time with me. She
Speaker 6: went out of her way because she cared about me,
Speaker 6: and that became a roadmap for me with my relationships
Speaker 6: with other women. She had the difficult conversation which so
Speaker 6: many people don't do. They'll just be like, fine, forget
Speaker 6: that person, we're not friends anymore. And she was like, no,
Speaker 6: I'm actually invested in you and I want to tell
Speaker 6: you the truth.
Speaker 4: And that just had such meaning for me.
Speaker 3: What was the truth? What'd she say? The truth was
Speaker 3: that I.
Speaker 6: Was acting badly at her party. I was just like
Speaker 6: arrogant and I was on drugs. I don't even remember
Speaker 6: what drugs, but I was just in a dark space.
Speaker 6: You know, you're not grounded and you're kind of flighty
Speaker 6: and you're and then you add drugs or alcohol to
Speaker 6: the equation, it just becomes ugly. It's not positive, it's negative.
Speaker 6: And that I was in the phase of my life
Speaker 6: where I was just very angry and kind of arrogant
Speaker 6: and just negative. And there's a letter at the end
Speaker 6: of the book where it's like an ending to our
Speaker 6: story because she asked me to do something later on
Speaker 6: down the road, and I went really went out of
Speaker 6: my way to show up for her, and she recognized that,
Speaker 6: and she wrote me this email which is in the
Speaker 6: book too, where she shares that with me, and I
Speaker 6: was like, you know, She's like, you don't have to
Speaker 6: prove to me anymore that you're a good person on honey,
Speaker 6: I know it.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh no, no, I'm going to spend
Speaker 4: my life I've proven to you.
Speaker 3: Vers That's so sweet. That's such a good full circle moment.
Speaker 4: It was because also I've had so many girlfriends in
Speaker 4: my life, and so many of them, you know, whether
Speaker 4: it's harmless or not. Not a lot of people do that.
Speaker 4: Not a lot of people tell you the truth even
Speaker 4: when you ask. Yeah, And I think we are really
Speaker 4: like in a deficit of truth.
Speaker 6: And I think truth is so powerful, it's so bonding,
Speaker 6: and it's so necessary.
Speaker 4: So I just always want to be truthful, especially with women.
Speaker 5: We need to take a quick break, but we'll be
Speaker 5: right back. Stay with us and we're back. I remember
Speaker 5: watching you on Chelsea Lately. You had this unshakable confidence,
Speaker 5: and so I was so surprised in the book to
Speaker 5: read that when you went to the Netflix show you
Speaker 5: felt like you had lost it. You describe it as
Speaker 5: like lou and Gas was was it a personal thing
Speaker 5: or what was happening?
Speaker 4: It was a bunch of things. It was a personal thing.
Speaker 6: I had never been to therapy, so I had never
Speaker 6: discussed my brother dying when I was a young girl,
Speaker 6: So there was a lot of delayed grief. The first
Speaker 6: Trump presidency, I had a really angry reaction to that.
Speaker 4: I couldn't even believe that would be possible.
Speaker 6: And all of those things combined just kind of like,
Speaker 6: you know, things worked for you until they stopped working
Speaker 6: for you.
Speaker 4: All of my botto and all of my kind of
Speaker 4: no bullshit attitude.
Speaker 6: All of that stuff really really worked for me until
Speaker 6: it did it, And then all of a sudden I
Speaker 6: was like, wait, I'm getting nervous, I'm not grounded, I'm insecure,
Speaker 6: I'm having all these weird thoughts.
Speaker 4: I wasn't sure of myself.
Speaker 6: I went into therapy and it was the best thing
Speaker 6: I ever did, even though it took a long time,
Speaker 6: but I realized, like, oh, there's a better more, there's
Speaker 6: a cooler version of me. There's like a two point
Speaker 6: zho Like the gift of self awareness is like the
Speaker 6: best you have you can give yourself, and that's what
Speaker 6: therapy is.
Speaker 3: Did it change your comedy too? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 6: And the best way, you know, it just made me
Speaker 6: more present as a person.
Speaker 4: I used to go on stage and be shit faced
Speaker 4: or not.
Speaker 6: I have two shows in one night and not even
Speaker 6: remember that in a second show it was such by
Speaker 6: octane that I had to stop and calm down and
Speaker 6: really present and be mindful of everything I was doing
Speaker 6: and actually being on stage and enjoying the fact that
Speaker 6: people are paying money to see me and showing up
Speaker 6: in a way that respects that. You know, and yeah,
Speaker 6: it makes you sharper if anything, you know, getting more
Speaker 6: in touch with yourself doesn't make you less funny, It
Speaker 6: makes you more mindful and that's an advantage in whatever
Speaker 6: you're doing.
Speaker 5: Was there a revelation that you had in therapy that, like,
Speaker 5: even to this day is hard to sit with.
Speaker 6: I mean, I think one of the revelations was like,
Speaker 6: first of all, not everybody's interested in your opinion.
Speaker 4: I'm like, what didn't believe that?
Speaker 6: I was like, my opinions pretty spot on, Like why
Speaker 6: wouldn't anyone be interested?
Speaker 4: And also that I don't have to be like the
Speaker 4: life of the party.
Speaker 6: That was the biggest because I would I left therapy
Speaker 6: and then I'd go to parties or dinner parties, and
Speaker 6: I'd kind of like audition this new personality of mine
Speaker 6: and I'd sit back and be quiet and like not
Speaker 6: talk or not insert myself into conversations, and people would
Speaker 6: be like, what's going on with you?
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm in therapy. I can't talk right down.
Speaker 6: People would be like, well, this isn't fun, Like we
Speaker 6: want the real Chelsea back, and I'm like, I don't
Speaker 6: know where Chelsea is.
Speaker 3: Like did you lose any friends?
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, totally.
Speaker 6: I had to start hanging out alone because I didn't
Speaker 6: know who I was. You go to therapy, you get
Speaker 6: all this information, then you have to absorb the information
Speaker 6: and then you have to apply the information, and that
Speaker 6: is a lengthy, arduous process. So throughout that process, I
Speaker 6: was constantly being like, is this who I am? Is
Speaker 6: this who I am? And you know, through like what
Speaker 6: most people go through in their teenage years, I went
Speaker 6: through in like my forties.
Speaker 3: I think it's a cool time to go through it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean now it is because it's over. Yeah,
Speaker 6: so that's good. I mean everything's good.
Speaker 4: When it's over, You're like, uh, okay.
Speaker 5: So one of the things that I've always looked to
Speaker 5: you and admired is that you're never afraid to walk away,
Speaker 5: and that's hard for most people. You walked away from
Speaker 5: a Netflix show, you walked away from a long running
Speaker 5: talk show on e I'm curious if there was ever
Speaker 5: a time where you feel like you should have walked
Speaker 5: away and you didn't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, relationships, of course, friendships definitely.
Speaker 6: But again, like I don't sit and I don't getmired
Speaker 6: in the past, because a what's the point. These are
Speaker 6: the decisions we've made and there's nothing you can do
Speaker 6: about it, and if anything, it's a learning tool for
Speaker 6: the next situation you're I like every lesson to be
Speaker 6: the first time and the last time. I don't want
Speaker 6: to learn lessons twice. I'm not going out with a
Speaker 6: narcissist twice.
Speaker 4: That's only goods.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna like make big blunders in my life twice.
Speaker 4: I'm smart. I'm too smart for that.
Speaker 6: So I'm a good student and like in this in
Speaker 6: the learning, like a student of life. I get it.
Speaker 6: I'm like, Okay, I got that message, yeah and clear.
Speaker 6: And I don't think there's a big point in thinking
Speaker 6: about what you could redo or not do. And I
Speaker 6: think that is one of the most beautiful things about
Speaker 6: being this age is that you're not worried about the past.
Speaker 4: You're not worried about the future. I've got me.
Speaker 6: Like, and you know that because you're you've been with
Speaker 6: this person this whole time. It's like when people are
Speaker 6: insecure or unsure they're footing, it's like, look, who got
Speaker 6: you here?
Speaker 4: You do?
Speaker 3: I love that. That's really beautiful.
Speaker 5: We have to take another short break, but we'll be
Speaker 5: back in just a minute.
Speaker 3: Don't go anywhere, and we're back.
Speaker 5: This is the portion of the interview where I'm asking
Speaker 5: for a friend because I am thirty four not married,
Speaker 5: and I've always looked to like I remember reading about
Speaker 5: Gloria Steinem's life and thinking like, that's so cool that
Speaker 5: she had all these like six seven year relationships with lovers.
Speaker 5: So I'm very curious about your perspective on relationships. You
Speaker 5: wrote in the book, I want to connect with a
Speaker 5: man in a way I haven't yet.
Speaker 3: What's an example of that? What does that look like
Speaker 3: to you?
Speaker 5: Because I feel like you've had all these really interesting connections.
Speaker 6: Well, my current lover said to me the other day,
Speaker 6: and this isn't maybe what you're saying, but he said
Speaker 6: something that was so like he so sees me right,
Speaker 6: he sees life.
Speaker 4: He's not in my for a public life, professional life,
Speaker 4: but he's in my life and he sees how hard
Speaker 4: I work.
Speaker 6: He sees like how much I show up for my friends,
Speaker 6: how much I show up for my family, And he
Speaker 6: really values our time together. He always says, how much
Speaker 6: time I deb with you. I just want to as
Speaker 6: much as I can get. And I'm like, that's so sweet.
Speaker 6: But I it feels and he's not an ego, Like
Speaker 6: there's no ego with him, and it feels so sweet
Speaker 6: to be seen in that way is not a threat
Speaker 6: to a man, not as an emasculation to someone. And
Speaker 6: he said this the other morning we woke up and
Speaker 6: he was like, you know how lucky I am to
Speaker 6: wake up next to you? Like, do you know how
Speaker 6: lucky he goes? Do you know how many men would
Speaker 6: die to be waking up next to you?
Speaker 4: And I just said, what man thinks that? And then
Speaker 4: says it? And I thought, Oh, I'm finally.
Speaker 6: Being seen for who I am because I have no
Speaker 6: attachment to a relationship. You know, you bring me in
Speaker 6: all things you do when you finally let them go.
Speaker 5: I saw this post years ago that you made about
Speaker 5: your parents. It was like this old black and white
Speaker 5: photo and you said my parents were in deep throes.
Speaker 3: Of love with a bee.
Speaker 5: We all deserve to be in love, but love is
Speaker 5: even better because for me it means family.
Speaker 3: Is it love? Do you feel love with this lover?
Speaker 6: He's a lover? Yes, I feel love with him for sure. Yeah,
Speaker 6: But I like, listen, I love everyone, So is it love?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 4: Is he the love of my life?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 4: Probably not?
Speaker 6: Maybe I don't know. I don't think so. But there
Speaker 6: are so many loves in life.
Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
Speaker 6: Absolutely and I want I want exactly what you're talking
Speaker 6: about with Gloria Steinem.
Speaker 4: I want lots of lovers.
Speaker 6: And I've had lots of loves and I'll continue to
Speaker 6: you know, like that's that's the kind of life I want.
Speaker 5: Well, I've read impast interviews and this could be pre
Speaker 5: therapy that you sometimes felt like you couldn't be your best,
Speaker 5: most ambitious self in partnership. This is something my friends
Speaker 5: and I talk about all the time. So many of
Speaker 5: us feel this way because I think men require a lot.
Speaker 3: Has that changed for you at all?
Speaker 4: Yes, it has, because I am just who I am now.
Speaker 4: I don't have any.
Speaker 6: I'm not trying to impress anybody. You're either impressed or
Speaker 6: you're not. Like I'm not trying to coast up to
Speaker 6: some guy. Guys are trying to be with me or not.
Speaker 6: I'm not the answer.
Speaker 4: I don't care. I have no attachment to being in
Speaker 4: a relationship or being married. And when you have that attitude,
Speaker 4: that's very magnetic for some reason, and it has to
Speaker 4: be true. You can't just say you don't care. You
Speaker 4: have to really not care.
Speaker 6: So hard to really not care, I know, But once
Speaker 6: you get that feeling, you don't get out of it. Yeah,
Speaker 6: once you don't care, you don't go back to caring again.
Speaker 6: So it's just something that's aspirational. And I don't think
Speaker 6: it's supposed to happen at your age. I think it
Speaker 6: happens as you age.
Speaker 5: Okay, thank you for that. That's a good thing to
Speaker 5: look forward to. Yes, Okay. In the book you say
Speaker 5: that the reason to have a partner or children shouldn't
Speaker 5: be so that they can be there to watch you die.
Speaker 5: I look forward to either paying some nurse or drug
Speaker 5: dealer to put me down like a horse or help
Speaker 5: usher me out of the world with a large dose
Speaker 5: of morphine.
Speaker 3: Incredible, what a revelation. It's so true.
Speaker 6: Yes, I mean, I'm still looking into euthanasia prematurely, like
Speaker 6: I don't really want to get old. Somebody said, if
Speaker 6: you can get through the next fifteen years, there's going
Speaker 6: to be so much science and innovation that you'll be
Speaker 6: able to live until you're one hundred and fifty, And
Speaker 6: I'm like, well one hundred and what I don't and
Speaker 6: do you stand up, like, what is my vocation at
Speaker 6: one hundred and fifty?
Speaker 4: I can't afford to live.
Speaker 6: Until I'm one hundred and fucking fifty on Mars like, no,
Speaker 6: I'm not interested. I want to do a group US
Speaker 6: in Asia with a group of friends at some point
Speaker 6: who are like minded.
Speaker 5: I thought it was so funny because everyone talks about
Speaker 5: that they don't want to die alone, and you're like,
Speaker 5: it's ridiculous, who cares.
Speaker 4: No, I'm happy to die alone.
Speaker 6: Also, yes, absolutely, I had to have shoulder surgery two
Speaker 6: weeks ago and I was being put under. I'm like,
Speaker 6: if you want to give me a couple of extra doses,
Speaker 6: I'm good.
Speaker 4: Like, I'm I'm I have a lot of big We
Speaker 4: need you. I'm like, wouldn't be sad. I'm like, I
Speaker 4: love my life. I've had a great time, but I'm
Speaker 4: also exhausted.
Speaker 5: No, no, we need you. There's so much more for
Speaker 5: you to say. I want all the opinions. I have
Speaker 5: one last question for you, because I love hearing stories
Speaker 5: about your family. And you make fun of your dad
Speaker 5: constantly for being a you cars salesman and being ridiculous
Speaker 5: as you say. You make fun of your siblings, You
Speaker 5: make fun of your bosses while they're still your boss.
Speaker 5: You make fun of the people that you're dating. You
Speaker 5: make fun of the audience sometimes, but when you talk
Speaker 5: about your mom, it makes me emotional because it is
Speaker 5: straight love and admiration, and I couldn't help but think
Speaker 5: while reading this book about the woman that you wanted
Speaker 5: to become as this little girl. And now as you
Speaker 5: celebrate your fiftieth birthday, do you feel like your mom
Speaker 5: Rita would be proud of the woman that you became.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I think she would be.
Speaker 6: She was so different than me, and she was so
Speaker 6: so spoken and so quiet, like she didn't know what
Speaker 6: the fuck I want. My mom was always just kind
Speaker 6: of she just didn't know what to do with me.
Speaker 6: And then once I started to get and more mature,
Speaker 6: she was like, oh, She's like you're She's like, you
Speaker 6: have so much to say and you have so much
Speaker 6: to share. She's like, I think your frustration at being
Speaker 6: a child was because you had.
Speaker 4: No agency and you just wanted to grow up. And
Speaker 4: I did.
Speaker 6: All I wanted to do was grow up. I didn't
Speaker 6: want to be a baby. I was like, I felt
Speaker 6: like a woman. I'm like, I'm a woman. My dad's
Speaker 6: like you're four. I'm like no, I feel like a woman,
Speaker 6: Like I can go out and I just always had
Speaker 6: that independence, and my mom really recognized that in me
Speaker 6: and understood that we were so different and that I
Speaker 6: needed to like fly away.
Speaker 4: And when she was dying, she said the sweetest thing
Speaker 4: to me.
Speaker 6: She said, I know you're going to have a really
Speaker 6: big life, she said, and I need you to take
Speaker 6: care of your sister and your brother because they're going
Speaker 6: to need you. And I know you're going to like
Speaker 6: meet all your goals and you're going to be wildly successful,
Speaker 6: and you're going to see the world.
Speaker 4: And she's like, I won't be here, but I'll be there.
Speaker 6: And so I always think of my mom when I'm
Speaker 6: going on not to like hit the stage to do
Speaker 6: something big, or before I perform, I always just like
Speaker 6: look up, and I just envisioned my mom like dancing
Speaker 6: around the ceiling.
Speaker 4: So she is always with me. So I'm glad you
Speaker 4: brought that up, Chelsea.
Speaker 3: I can't believe you made me cry.
Speaker 4: They may cry.
Speaker 5: That's really sweet, really really sweet. Okay, I can't end
Speaker 5: on this note, so you have to make me laugh.
Speaker 5: I years ago read in some random magazine somebody asked
Speaker 5: you a beauty product that they would cry out of
Speaker 5: your cold dead hands, and it was like this seventy
Speaker 5: dollars moistureizer that I could not afford at the time
Speaker 5: and bought anyways because you said it. So now I
Speaker 5: need to know what is the updated version, What do
Speaker 5: I need to buy?
Speaker 3: And what can I cry out of your cold dead hands?
Speaker 4: Do you have oily skin or dry skin?
Speaker 3: A combination?
Speaker 4: I love liz Earl serum.
Speaker 6: I love like oil serum because I'm very dry, so
Speaker 6: I constantly need lubrication, hydration and serum.
Speaker 4: But if you have any oily skin, it's not the same.
Speaker 4: It doesn't work for you.
Speaker 6: But what what could you not fly? I mean lip balm.
Speaker 6: Lipbom is the bomb. I use that under my eyes.
Speaker 6: I put it on my face when I try like
Speaker 6: it's a I put it in when my hands are
Speaker 6: like dry.
Speaker 4: Put it on my hands like that is bazzling Lipbom.
Speaker 4: I have a tube of that wherever I go.
Speaker 3: That's a good one. Thank you so much for joining me.
Speaker 4: Thank you, it was such a pleasure. I had such
Speaker 4: a great time with you.
Speaker 3: Thank you for that.
Speaker 2: Chelsea Handler is an author, comedian, and TV host. Her
Speaker 2: latest book, I'll Have What She's Having, is out next
Speaker 2: week February twenty fifth, and her comedy special Chelsea Handler
Speaker 2: The Feeling is out on Netflix next month.
Speaker 1: Well that's it for today's show. Tomorrow, we're popping off
Speaker 1: on the biggest pop culture moments of the week with
Speaker 1: comedian and content creator Rachel Samples. Join the conversation using
Speaker 1: hashtag the bright Side and connect with us on social
Speaker 1: media at Hello Sunshine on Instagram and at the bright
Speaker 1: Side Pod on TikTok oh, and feel free to tag
Speaker 1: us at Simone Boys and at Danielle Robe.
Speaker 5: Listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 5: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: See you tomorrow, folks, Keep looking on the bright side.