1 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: Hello Sunshine, Hey, besties. Today on the bright Side, it 2 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: is the one and only Chelsea Handler. You know her 3 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,400 Speaker 1: from her late night shows and her multiple New York 4 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: Times best selling books. She's out with a brand new 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,920 Speaker 1: book called I'll Have What She's Having and a brand 6 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,320 Speaker 1: new Netflix comedy special. 7 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 2: It's Thursday, February twentieth. I'm Danielle Robe. 8 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,280 Speaker 1: And I'm Simone Voice, and this is the bright Side 9 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:33,520 Speaker 1: from Hello Sunshine. Danielle, you sound like Sunshine today, Sunshine. 10 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 3: Indeed, you know I caught the flu, Simone. 11 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, thank you. 12 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 2: I'm actually okay, but my voice does sound a little wonky, 13 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 2: So I'm so sorry about that. 14 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:49,240 Speaker 1: Oh no, please don't apologize. I was right where you are, 15 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 1: I want to say, like three or four weeks ago. 16 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 4: So it's gonna get better. It's gonna pass. 17 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 2: Yes, it's going around. It's crazy. Everybody I know is 18 00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 2: so sick. 19 00:00:58,720 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 4: I don't know. 20 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: I kind of like this new voiced in Yelle. Maybe 21 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: you should like try to keep it. It's like kind 22 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: of sexy. 23 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 2: It is sort of sexy and masculine in some ways. 24 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,679 Speaker 1: Wait, I'm trying to think of like I need you 25 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,000 Speaker 1: to say, like a phrase. Can you say, like, come hither, 26 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: M I just want to hear how it sounds. 27 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:16,320 Speaker 3: Come hither. 28 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god, Danielle, that's so good. 29 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, coming hither today to our show is the 30 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 2: one and only Chelsea Handler Simone. I have been a 31 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,320 Speaker 2: fan of Chelsea ever since I was a little kid, 32 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,759 Speaker 2: Like she has been on my interview vision board for years. 33 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: Okay, So what is it about Chelsea that you feel 34 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: like so attracted to? Like why was she on your 35 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: vision board? 36 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 3: Because she's so unfiltered. 37 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 2: I feel like she says the stuff that you're not 38 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 2: supposed to say out loud. She says the quiet part 39 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 2: out loud a lot, and whether she's talking about sex 40 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 2: or politics or celebrity culture, she just never cared about 41 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 2: being liked. 42 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 3: It was always about humor. 43 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 2: And the truth, and honestly, sometimes it was ruthless, but 44 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 2: it was always sharp, you know. 45 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 3: And I just I so respect that. 46 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,360 Speaker 2: I'm not like that, I'm not gonna say the quiet 47 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 2: part out loud, and so hearing her say it was 48 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 2: just so inspiring to me. 49 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 4: I so agree with you. 50 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 1: And I also feel like she was really ahead of 51 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: her time in that sense, like just having that courage 52 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 1: to be so unfiltered in a world that felt so 53 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,000 Speaker 1: proper and curated. She really has always led the way. 54 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 3: You're so right. 55 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 2: She redefined late night TV in my opinion, because before Chelsea, 56 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 2: it was such a boys club. And she was one 57 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 2: of the very few women to host her own late 58 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 2: night talk show, Chelsea Lately. And she did it without 59 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 2: trying to fit into this male dominated format. She did 60 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 2: her own thing. She talked about pop culture in a 61 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 2: smart way. I feel like she paved the way for 62 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 2: a lot of women in comedy completely. 63 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: Also, late night is still a boys club like I 64 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: would love to see Chelsea back on primetime airwaves. 65 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, can we start that petition? 66 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: Seriously, seriously call your congress person. We're getting Chelsea back 67 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 1: on late night. 68 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 3: Simone. You can't make me laugh, not with this voice. 69 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 4: I'm so sorry. 70 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 5: I will. 71 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,920 Speaker 4: I'm gonna do this just completely straight laced. 72 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 1: Okay. Well, missing this interview was a bummer for me, 73 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: but I can hear just how thrilling this was for you. 74 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:24,680 Speaker 1: So I'm so happy for you that you got to 75 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 1: check this one off your vision board and I can't 76 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: wait to listen. 77 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 3: Simone. 78 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,959 Speaker 2: You were missed for sure, and I think you and 79 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 2: the listeners are going to be surprised by this conversation. 80 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 3: A lot came out. 81 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 2: We laughed, we cried, and we definitely talked about her 82 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 2: new book that's going to be out soon I'll have 83 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 2: what She's Having, And in it she chronicle stories of 84 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 2: her life that detail the woman she wanted to be, 85 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 2: the woman she became, and the woman that she is 86 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 2: today on the cusp of turning fifty. So here's my 87 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 2: conversation with Chelsea Handler. 88 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 5: Chelsea Handler, I'm so excited to say this. Welcome to 89 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 5: the bright side. Hi, congratulations on your new book. You're 90 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 5: about to break into this totally new chapter of your life. 91 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 5: And I read that you're intentionally releasing your seventh book, 92 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 5: I'll have what She's having on your fiftieth birthday. 93 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:15,839 Speaker 3: Yeah. 94 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,679 Speaker 5: Yes, So you wrote in the book that you can't 95 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 5: believe that you're alive at fifty. 96 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,359 Speaker 6: You have to tell me why. Well, I mean for 97 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 6: obvious reasons. I mean, if you know anything about me, 98 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,160 Speaker 6: you know that I push it real hard. I never 99 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 6: imagined that I would be fifty. I remember knowing my 100 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 6: dad was fifty two. I think my dad had a 101 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 6: heart attack when he was fifty two and I was like, oh, 102 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 6: I guess it's. 103 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 4: A wrap on him. 104 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 6: And then he came home from the hospital and lived 105 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 6: another thirty years. But now, like fifty years or well 106 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,040 Speaker 6: forty years later, fifty. 107 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 4: Is not what fifty used to be. 108 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 6: Like, I am pretty psyched about turning fifty. I'm pretty 109 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 6: psyched that my life is like this at fifty, and 110 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 6: I'm pretty excited about all the decisions I've made. 111 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 5: I want to ask you all about that because I've 112 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 5: read all your books and it was so different. It 113 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,839 Speaker 5: feels like you took this step back and zoomed out 114 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,040 Speaker 5: on your own life from this bird's eye view and 115 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 5: examine the choices, the heartbreak, the defining moments. And you've 116 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,920 Speaker 5: been really vocal about all the therapy. But after examining 117 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 5: the woman that you became, did it match up to 118 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 5: that vision that you had as a little girl. 119 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 4: I think it did. 120 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 6: I think it took me a long time to try 121 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 6: to remember what all of these visions I had of 122 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 6: who I would be when I grew up, Like as 123 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,159 Speaker 6: a little girl, I think we're always like, this is 124 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 6: the guy I want to be, This is the woman 125 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 6: I want to be, This is the type of person 126 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,239 Speaker 6: I want to be, but we kind of always lose 127 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 6: sight of that along the way. Life gets in the 128 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 6: way and we're hustling, we're trying to achieve something. 129 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:43,479 Speaker 4: I remember moving. 130 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 6: Out to LA when I was nineteen years old, and 131 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:49,040 Speaker 6: I just wanted to like make it, but I didn't 132 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 6: know what I wanted to do. I just wanted to 133 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,840 Speaker 6: be someone that people knew, but I didn't know what 134 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 6: my talent was, so it was pretty like shallow aspirations. 135 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,600 Speaker 4: It was like, oh, I basically wanted to be famous, but. 136 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 6: As I started to pursue that and doors would either 137 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,720 Speaker 6: shut or open, you get into an avenue. And the 138 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,840 Speaker 6: avenue I ended up in was stand up comedy, which 139 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:16,559 Speaker 6: really allowed me to express myself without an editor, which 140 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 6: allowed me to build an entire career just off of 141 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 6: being myself, of my personality. 142 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,480 Speaker 4: And I had no idea when I was a little 143 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,479 Speaker 4: kid that that was even something that you could do. 144 00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:31,279 Speaker 6: But the overarching theme, I think when the book starts 145 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 6: out with this letter of me as a young girl 146 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 6: like kind of envisioning what kind of woman I wanted 147 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 6: to be, it was more about like. 148 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 4: The spirit of who I was going to be. I 149 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 4: was going to be bold, and I was going to 150 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,120 Speaker 4: be brave, and I wasn't going to follow people around. 151 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,160 Speaker 4: I was going to be a follower. I was going 152 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:48,880 Speaker 4: to be a leader. 153 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 6: I was going to stick my neck out, I was 154 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,880 Speaker 6: going to say the thing that nobody wanted to say. 155 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 4: Like I really wanted to just be a great sister 156 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:56,360 Speaker 4: to the world. 157 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,320 Speaker 6: And I have two great sisters, and I I grew 158 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 6: up like in a very loving sisterly vibe, like my. 159 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:08,839 Speaker 4: Friends are my sisters. Strangers that are women are my sisters. 160 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 6: And I think the biggest theme that I always wanted 161 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 6: to embody was being a sister. You know, in my 162 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 6: early career I would be more of a bully. I 163 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 6: was more of like this is how I see I'm 164 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 6: the cool chick. And then you grow up and you're like, no, no, no, 165 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 6: that's not cool. You know, being cool is being like 166 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,080 Speaker 6: a lover to everyone. You know, you don't have to 167 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 6: be the most popular, you don't have to be the coolest. 168 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 4: It's not about that. Being cool is. 169 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 6: Being really just great to everybody and giving everybody a chance. 170 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 5: I love that you said sister to the world because 171 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 5: there's this huge emphasis in the book of really just 172 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 5: supporting women. And one of my favorite stories is something 173 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 5: that you call the pocket full of Sunshine story. 174 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 3: Will you share that? 175 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 4: Yes. 176 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 6: I was at the Montreal Comedy Festival just for laughs, 177 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 6: which when I was coming up. 178 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 4: Was the thing. 179 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 6: It was the festival that meant you were on your way, 180 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 6: that meant you were like gonna make it or you 181 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 6: were close to making it. And I was in my 182 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 6: late twenties and I went and I did a showcase 183 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 6: and there was all this buzz about me, and I 184 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,320 Speaker 6: was like, Okay, this is my moment, like I'm getting 185 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,440 Speaker 6: hitting it, like all the executives that were important were going. 186 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 4: To be there on that night. 187 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:24,200 Speaker 6: And then I bombed badly, like eight shit. And I 188 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 6: remember zach Elifanakis walked me to my hotel room after 189 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 6: I was mortified, and he was like, you're just gonna 190 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 6: have to be alone and deal with this. It's going 191 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 6: to be pretty upsetting. This is part of the industry. 192 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 6: And I was like, no, this isn't part of the industry. 193 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 3: Because it's not like you to bomb, right, No. 194 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 4: But again I wasn't. 195 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,199 Speaker 6: I was like in a moment where I got caught 196 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 6: and swept up in my own kissed and vinegar, like 197 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 6: it wasn't real because I got all this buzz about 198 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 6: me instead of remaining grounded and like in my body, 199 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,680 Speaker 6: I got swept away in the moment and I was grounded, 200 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 6: and I and the lack of reaction at the top, 201 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 6: I just was like I was very young, you know, 202 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:08,840 Speaker 6: I was like twenty seven or something, so I just 203 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 6: wasn't as seasoned as I am now. So it threw 204 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 6: me off, and then it threw off my whole set, 205 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:15,960 Speaker 6: and then I sped through my set. 206 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,200 Speaker 4: I thought my life was over. I really thought, Okay, 207 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 4: now I have to think about what else I can 208 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 4: do for a career, or am I gonna have to 209 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 4: get married? You know what I mean? Like what happens now? 210 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 6: And then I went back to LA and I had 211 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 6: another show the next night in Montreal, but no one 212 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 6: came to that because everyone had seen me bomb. 213 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 4: And then like this girl's not ready, she's not up 214 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:35,959 Speaker 4: his phone. 215 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,959 Speaker 6: And then I got to LA and my manager said 216 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,520 Speaker 6: there was one executive that had not been at the showcase. 217 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,200 Speaker 4: Her name is Grace who she used to work at NBC. 218 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 4: I don't know if she still does. 219 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,320 Speaker 6: And he said she wants to come see you at 220 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 6: Luna Park on Tuesday. She's the only executive that didn't 221 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 6: see the showcase. And I went to Luna Park and 222 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 6: I did the same exact set, and I crushed it 223 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 6: because now. 224 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 4: Everything was off the table. The next morning he called 225 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 4: me and said, Okay, they want to give you a 226 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 4: development deal for your own TV show for one hundred 227 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:10,680 Speaker 4: thousand dollars. And I thought I had hit the jackpot. 228 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 6: Like it was just the span of events, like it 229 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,840 Speaker 6: was a seventy two hour span, and within that seventy 230 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 6: two hours, what I thought was over was born again. 231 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 6: So I share that story in the book because I 232 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 6: want everyone, whether you're in the entertainment industry or not, 233 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 6: to know that every failure has a rainbow around the corner. 234 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,840 Speaker 4: My corner was really quick, but that's how quickly things 235 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:36,839 Speaker 4: can change in your life. 236 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 5: You said that you call back on that story during 237 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 5: hard times, and if you're willing to share, I'm wondering 238 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 5: when the last time you needed that story was? 239 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,959 Speaker 4: Oh, all the time? I mean I always need. 240 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 6: I mean I had a pretty rough year in terms 241 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 6: of stuff I'm dealing with this house I'm building, it's 242 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 6: been pretty icky. Like what's gone on, stuff that's happened, 243 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 6: and I can be really positive and have a good 244 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,760 Speaker 6: attitude every morning, and then it's kind of like you 245 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:08,199 Speaker 6: spend your day just getting tossed around and knocked over, and. 246 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 4: Then by six o'clock you're like, I fucking give up. 247 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 6: I'm gonna fucking take a xanax, go to bed, and 248 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 6: I'll try again tomorrow. 249 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 4: Because this positivity thing isn't working. 250 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:21,920 Speaker 6: But you have to remember in those times, I always 251 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 6: look at that experience whatever difficulty I'm having, is like 252 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 6: in the times where I don't feel confident, where I 253 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,439 Speaker 6: don't feel strong. 254 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,080 Speaker 4: To remember that there is a version of you that 255 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 4: does and they're not that far away. 256 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 5: It's so important to have that in your back pocket 257 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,400 Speaker 5: because if you can't call on it, you never get 258 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 5: back up. I feel like a lot of women in 259 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 5: comedy owe their career to you in a lot of ways. 260 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 5: Are there any people whose careers you feel like you 261 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 5: had a hand in that you're particularly proud of. I don't. 262 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 4: I would never give myself credit for well. 263 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:56,960 Speaker 6: I mean, I had a hand in a lot of 264 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 6: people's careers because they were on Chelsea lately. 265 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,680 Speaker 4: But I was just recognizing talent. 266 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,440 Speaker 6: That's something that a lot of It takes more than 267 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 6: one person to recognize that talent. 268 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 4: I can give them an open door. 269 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:11,719 Speaker 6: But there's nothing that gives me more pleasure than introducing 270 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,199 Speaker 6: someone to the world, especially another woman. 271 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 4: And that was the beauty of Chelsea Lately. I could book. 272 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 6: Whomever I wanted, and if you were an underdog, if 273 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 6: you were remedial, if you were weird, you were on 274 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:25,439 Speaker 6: the show like that made you more welcome, Like we 275 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 6: were doing DEI before DEI was a thing. That is 276 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 6: the nature of who I am. I want the hunderdogs 277 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 6: to succeed. So with Fortune, I just took one look 278 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:36,680 Speaker 6: at Fortune and she said one thing, and I was like, 279 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,439 Speaker 6: I was in love with her, And ats going with 280 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 6: another humongous talent. 281 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:40,840 Speaker 4: Yeah. 282 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 6: No, I think I'm just good at recognizing talent. I'm 283 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 6: not the reason they're talent. They're successful, but I definitely 284 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:48,920 Speaker 6: recognize their talent for sure. 285 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:52,319 Speaker 5: At the beginning of our conversation, you said you had 286 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,000 Speaker 5: this idea of who you wanted to be and that 287 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 5: you were going to be defiant. To me, that signals 288 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 5: like you had this inner voice before you even maybe 289 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 5: knew what an inner voice was, And there's a lot 290 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,800 Speaker 5: of stories in the book about how you were a 291 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 5: dream chaser and a go getter even ten eleven thirteen. 292 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 5: I mean, you were reading Tolstoy, you were buying first 293 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 5: class plane tickets, when your parents wearing coach. Knowing what 294 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:19,240 Speaker 5: you know now about Hollywood and fame and all of 295 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 5: the ups and downs, would you do it over again? 296 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 6: Yeah, for sure, every single minute, even the pain, you know, 297 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,200 Speaker 6: like the pain I would. 298 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 4: Bring around again. 299 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 6: Maybe I would have been a little bit more you know, 300 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 6: responsible and more careful about you know, less hurtful to others. 301 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 4: At certain times in my life. I would try to. 302 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 6: Be more mindful of that. But I also think it's 303 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,319 Speaker 6: the engine that gets you where you need to go. 304 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,840 Speaker 6: I think I talk so much about my younger life 305 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 6: and being a young person because I really believe the 306 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,480 Speaker 6: essence of who we are is really at its. 307 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,560 Speaker 4: Peak when we are children before the world, you know, 308 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:59,400 Speaker 4: besmirches us, before we are thrown around and fall down 309 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:00,240 Speaker 4: so many time. 310 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 6: It's like the true essence of who we are before 311 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:06,240 Speaker 6: we face any challenges, is the person we want to 312 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 6: keep going back to throughout our life, Like that little 313 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:13,559 Speaker 6: inner child that's who we really are, and that's never 314 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 6: a bad person, you know, that's always a good person. 315 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 4: And it's always good to kind of check in with yourself, 316 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,160 Speaker 4: like how am I doing? 317 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,920 Speaker 6: Would I be proud of me as a seven year old? 318 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 6: Would I look at myself today and be like, I'm 319 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,160 Speaker 6: proud of you? And the answer is fucking. 320 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, yes, I'm fucking proud of you. You're crushing it. 321 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 5: You did so much of what you said you were 322 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 5: going to do, and then some there is a moment 323 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,040 Speaker 5: in the book, though, where you're not so proud. 324 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 3: Can I share it? Sure? Okay? 325 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,240 Speaker 5: So you go to Jane Fonda's house and it's kind 326 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 5: of a surprising invitation. You're at a party and she 327 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 5: calls you after the party and she's like, we got 328 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,640 Speaker 5: to talk. You made people at the party uncomfortable and 329 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 5: you were like so taken aback that Jane Fonda called 330 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 5: you out, which understandable. Is that the first time that 331 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 5: you were on the other side of brutal honesty? Yes? 332 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:07,640 Speaker 3: Is that why it hurt? 333 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 4: It hurt? 334 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 6: But I got to say I took it like I 335 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 6: took it like a man. I was like, whoa you 336 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,920 Speaker 6: want to be honest with me. I'm known for my honesty, 337 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,720 Speaker 6: so I've got to be able to dish it and 338 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 6: take it. 339 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 4: And moreover, I knew in that moment, A. 340 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 6: She was never going to have to speak to me 341 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 6: again about my behavior, like I would make the first 342 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 6: time the last time. And B that was an example 343 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 6: of sister like. She showed me what it was to 344 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 6: be a sister to another woman. She did not have 345 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,960 Speaker 6: to take the time to invite me to her house, 346 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 6: she did not have to spend time with me. She 347 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 6: went out of her way because she cared about me, 348 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,680 Speaker 6: and that became a roadmap for me with my relationships 349 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 6: with other women. She had the difficult conversation which so 350 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 6: many people don't do. They'll just be like, fine, forget 351 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 6: that person, we're not friends anymore. And she was like, no, 352 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,720 Speaker 6: I'm actually invested in you and I want to tell 353 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 6: you the truth. 354 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,480 Speaker 4: And that just had such meaning for me. 355 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,800 Speaker 3: What was the truth? What'd she say? The truth was 356 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 3: that I. 357 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 6: Was acting badly at her party. I was just like 358 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 6: arrogant and I was on drugs. I don't even remember 359 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 6: what drugs, but I was just in a dark space. 360 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 6: You know, you're not grounded and you're kind of flighty 361 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,400 Speaker 6: and you're and then you add drugs or alcohol to 362 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 6: the equation, it just becomes ugly. It's not positive, it's negative. 363 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 6: And that I was in the phase of my life 364 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 6: where I was just very angry and kind of arrogant 365 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 6: and just negative. And there's a letter at the end 366 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 6: of the book where it's like an ending to our 367 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 6: story because she asked me to do something later on 368 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 6: down the road, and I went really went out of 369 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 6: my way to show up for her, and she recognized that, 370 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,600 Speaker 6: and she wrote me this email which is in the 371 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 6: book too, where she shares that with me, and I 372 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 6: was like, you know, She's like, you don't have to 373 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 6: prove to me anymore that you're a good person on honey, 374 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,080 Speaker 6: I know it. 375 00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh no, no, I'm going to spend 376 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 4: my life I've proven to you. 377 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 3: Vers That's so sweet. That's such a good full circle moment. 378 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 4: It was because also I've had so many girlfriends in 379 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 4: my life, and so many of them, you know, whether 380 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 4: it's harmless or not. Not a lot of people do that. 381 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,160 Speaker 4: Not a lot of people tell you the truth even 382 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,840 Speaker 4: when you ask. Yeah, And I think we are really 383 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,639 Speaker 4: like in a deficit of truth. 384 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,840 Speaker 6: And I think truth is so powerful, it's so bonding, 385 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,359 Speaker 6: and it's so necessary. 386 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,320 Speaker 4: So I just always want to be truthful, especially with women. 387 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 5: We need to take a quick break, but we'll be 388 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:49,120 Speaker 5: right back. Stay with us and we're back. I remember 389 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:53,520 Speaker 5: watching you on Chelsea Lately. You had this unshakable confidence, 390 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 5: and so I was so surprised in the book to 391 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 5: read that when you went to the Netflix show you 392 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,640 Speaker 5: felt like you had lost it. You describe it as 393 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,880 Speaker 5: like lou and Gas was was it a personal thing 394 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 5: or what was happening? 395 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 4: It was a bunch of things. It was a personal thing. 396 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:08,680 Speaker 6: I had never been to therapy, so I had never 397 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 6: discussed my brother dying when I was a young girl, 398 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 6: So there was a lot of delayed grief. The first 399 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,119 Speaker 6: Trump presidency, I had a really angry reaction to that. 400 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 4: I couldn't even believe that would be possible. 401 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,919 Speaker 6: And all of those things combined just kind of like, 402 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,439 Speaker 6: you know, things worked for you until they stopped working 403 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:26,760 Speaker 6: for you. 404 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,439 Speaker 4: All of my botto and all of my kind of 405 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,600 Speaker 4: no bullshit attitude. 406 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,399 Speaker 6: All of that stuff really really worked for me until 407 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 6: it did it, And then all of a sudden I 408 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 6: was like, wait, I'm getting nervous, I'm not grounded, I'm insecure, 409 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,680 Speaker 6: I'm having all these weird thoughts. 410 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,119 Speaker 4: I wasn't sure of myself. 411 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 6: I went into therapy and it was the best thing 412 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,240 Speaker 6: I ever did, even though it took a long time, 413 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,360 Speaker 6: but I realized, like, oh, there's a better more, there's 414 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:57,480 Speaker 6: a cooler version of me. There's like a two point 415 00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 6: zho Like the gift of self awareness is like the 416 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 6: best you have you can give yourself, and that's what 417 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:03,560 Speaker 6: therapy is. 418 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 3: Did it change your comedy too? Yeah? 419 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:06,440 Speaker 1: I did. 420 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 6: And the best way, you know, it just made me 421 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 6: more present as a person. 422 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,320 Speaker 4: I used to go on stage and be shit faced 423 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 4: or not. 424 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,560 Speaker 6: I have two shows in one night and not even 425 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 6: remember that in a second show it was such by 426 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 6: octane that I had to stop and calm down and 427 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 6: really present and be mindful of everything I was doing 428 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 6: and actually being on stage and enjoying the fact that 429 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,879 Speaker 6: people are paying money to see me and showing up 430 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:37,040 Speaker 6: in a way that respects that. You know, and yeah, 431 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:40,160 Speaker 6: it makes you sharper if anything, you know, getting more 432 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,359 Speaker 6: in touch with yourself doesn't make you less funny, It 433 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 6: makes you more mindful and that's an advantage in whatever 434 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,000 Speaker 6: you're doing. 435 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:51,000 Speaker 5: Was there a revelation that you had in therapy that, like, 436 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 5: even to this day is hard to sit with. 437 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 6: I mean, I think one of the revelations was like, 438 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 6: first of all, not everybody's interested in your opinion. 439 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,679 Speaker 4: I'm like, what didn't believe that? 440 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 6: I was like, my opinions pretty spot on, Like why 441 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,520 Speaker 6: wouldn't anyone be interested? 442 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 4: And also that I don't have to be like the 443 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 4: life of the party. 444 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,119 Speaker 6: That was the biggest because I would I left therapy 445 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,320 Speaker 6: and then I'd go to parties or dinner parties, and 446 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 6: I'd kind of like audition this new personality of mine 447 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 6: and I'd sit back and be quiet and like not 448 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 6: talk or not insert myself into conversations, and people would 449 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,000 Speaker 6: be like, what's going on with you? 450 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,360 Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm in therapy. I can't talk right down. 451 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,399 Speaker 6: People would be like, well, this isn't fun, Like we 452 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,360 Speaker 6: want the real Chelsea back, and I'm like, I don't 453 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 6: know where Chelsea is. 454 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,120 Speaker 3: Like did you lose any friends? 455 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,000 Speaker 4: Yes, yes, totally. 456 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,359 Speaker 6: I had to start hanging out alone because I didn't 457 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,160 Speaker 6: know who I was. You go to therapy, you get 458 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,359 Speaker 6: all this information, then you have to absorb the information 459 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 6: and then you have to apply the information, and that 460 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:55,080 Speaker 6: is a lengthy, arduous process. So throughout that process, I 461 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 6: was constantly being like, is this who I am? Is 462 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,879 Speaker 6: this who I am? And you know, through like what 463 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,400 Speaker 6: most people go through in their teenage years, I went 464 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 6: through in like my forties. 465 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,320 Speaker 3: I think it's a cool time to go through it. 466 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean now it is because it's over. Yeah, 467 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 6: so that's good. I mean everything's good. 468 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 4: When it's over, You're like, uh, okay. 469 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 5: So one of the things that I've always looked to 470 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,520 Speaker 5: you and admired is that you're never afraid to walk away, 471 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:24,360 Speaker 5: and that's hard for most people. You walked away from 472 00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,800 Speaker 5: a Netflix show, you walked away from a long running 473 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 5: talk show on e I'm curious if there was ever 474 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 5: a time where you feel like you should have walked 475 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:32,679 Speaker 5: away and you didn't. 476 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:37,359 Speaker 4: Yeah, relationships, of course, friendships definitely. 477 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 6: But again, like I don't sit and I don't getmired 478 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,239 Speaker 6: in the past, because a what's the point. These are 479 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,679 Speaker 6: the decisions we've made and there's nothing you can do 480 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 6: about it, and if anything, it's a learning tool for 481 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:53,639 Speaker 6: the next situation you're I like every lesson to be 482 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,840 Speaker 6: the first time and the last time. I don't want 483 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,199 Speaker 6: to learn lessons twice. I'm not going out with a 484 00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,119 Speaker 6: narcissist twice. 485 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 4: That's only goods. 486 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 1: You know. 487 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:05,000 Speaker 4: I'm not gonna like make big blunders in my life twice. 488 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 4: I'm smart. I'm too smart for that. 489 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,320 Speaker 6: So I'm a good student and like in this in 490 00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 6: the learning, like a student of life. I get it. 491 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,480 Speaker 6: I'm like, Okay, I got that message, yeah and clear. 492 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,760 Speaker 6: And I don't think there's a big point in thinking 493 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 6: about what you could redo or not do. And I 494 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,200 Speaker 6: think that is one of the most beautiful things about 495 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,720 Speaker 6: being this age is that you're not worried about the past. 496 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 4: You're not worried about the future. I've got me. 497 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 6: Like, and you know that because you're you've been with 498 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 6: this person this whole time. It's like when people are 499 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,880 Speaker 6: insecure or unsure they're footing, it's like, look, who got 500 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 6: you here? 501 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,080 Speaker 4: You do? 502 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,399 Speaker 3: I love that. That's really beautiful. 503 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 5: We have to take another short break, but we'll be 504 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 5: back in just a minute. 505 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 3: Don't go anywhere, and we're back. 506 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 5: This is the portion of the interview where I'm asking 507 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:05,719 Speaker 5: for a friend because I am thirty four not married, 508 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:09,760 Speaker 5: and I've always looked to like I remember reading about 509 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,359 Speaker 5: Gloria Steinem's life and thinking like, that's so cool that 510 00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:15,840 Speaker 5: she had all these like six seven year relationships with lovers. 511 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 5: So I'm very curious about your perspective on relationships. You 512 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,800 Speaker 5: wrote in the book, I want to connect with a 513 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,359 Speaker 5: man in a way I haven't yet. 514 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,720 Speaker 3: What's an example of that? What does that look like 515 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:27,080 Speaker 3: to you? 516 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:30,040 Speaker 5: Because I feel like you've had all these really interesting connections. 517 00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:33,720 Speaker 6: Well, my current lover said to me the other day, 518 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 6: and this isn't maybe what you're saying, but he said 519 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:41,160 Speaker 6: something that was so like he so sees me right, 520 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:42,280 Speaker 6: he sees life. 521 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,680 Speaker 4: He's not in my for a public life, professional life, 522 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 4: but he's in my life and he sees how hard 523 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:48,680 Speaker 4: I work. 524 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:52,040 Speaker 6: He sees like how much I show up for my friends, 525 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,280 Speaker 6: how much I show up for my family, And he 526 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,480 Speaker 6: really values our time together. He always says, how much 527 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,080 Speaker 6: time I deb with you. I just want to as 528 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 6: much as I can get. And I'm like, that's so sweet. 529 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,399 Speaker 6: But I it feels and he's not an ego, Like 530 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,399 Speaker 6: there's no ego with him, and it feels so sweet 531 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 6: to be seen in that way is not a threat 532 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:13,160 Speaker 6: to a man, not as an emasculation to someone. And 533 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,439 Speaker 6: he said this the other morning we woke up and 534 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,439 Speaker 6: he was like, you know how lucky I am to 535 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,239 Speaker 6: wake up next to you? Like, do you know how 536 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 6: lucky he goes? Do you know how many men would 537 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,680 Speaker 6: die to be waking up next to you? 538 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,880 Speaker 4: And I just said, what man thinks that? And then 539 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,440 Speaker 4: says it? And I thought, Oh, I'm finally. 540 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,280 Speaker 6: Being seen for who I am because I have no 541 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,719 Speaker 6: attachment to a relationship. You know, you bring me in 542 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,040 Speaker 6: all things you do when you finally let them go. 543 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,920 Speaker 5: I saw this post years ago that you made about 544 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 5: your parents. It was like this old black and white 545 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:49,880 Speaker 5: photo and you said my parents were in deep throes. 546 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,000 Speaker 3: Of love with a bee. 547 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,919 Speaker 5: We all deserve to be in love, but love is 548 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 5: even better because for me it means family. 549 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,960 Speaker 3: Is it love? Do you feel love with this lover? 550 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,120 Speaker 6: He's a lover? Yes, I feel love with him for sure. Yeah, 551 00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 6: But I like, listen, I love everyone, So is it love? 552 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:07,280 Speaker 1: Like? 553 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:08,600 Speaker 4: Is he the love of my life? 554 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:08,880 Speaker 5: No? 555 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 4: Probably not? 556 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 6: Maybe I don't know. I don't think so. But there 557 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 6: are so many loves in life. 558 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:17,120 Speaker 4: You know what I mean? 559 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:21,000 Speaker 6: Absolutely and I want I want exactly what you're talking 560 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,160 Speaker 6: about with Gloria Steinem. 561 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:23,960 Speaker 4: I want lots of lovers. 562 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 6: And I've had lots of loves and I'll continue to 563 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:30,160 Speaker 6: you know, like that's that's the kind of life I want. 564 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,000 Speaker 5: Well, I've read impast interviews and this could be pre 565 00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:36,800 Speaker 5: therapy that you sometimes felt like you couldn't be your best, 566 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:41,960 Speaker 5: most ambitious self in partnership. This is something my friends 567 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,399 Speaker 5: and I talk about all the time. So many of 568 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 5: us feel this way because I think men require a lot. 569 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:50,960 Speaker 3: Has that changed for you at all? 570 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,920 Speaker 4: Yes, it has, because I am just who I am now. 571 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:55,360 Speaker 4: I don't have any. 572 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:58,320 Speaker 6: I'm not trying to impress anybody. You're either impressed or 573 00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,399 Speaker 6: you're not. Like I'm not trying to coast up to 574 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,359 Speaker 6: some guy. Guys are trying to be with me or not. 575 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,040 Speaker 6: I'm not the answer. 576 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 4: I don't care. I have no attachment to being in 577 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:12,159 Speaker 4: a relationship or being married. And when you have that attitude, 578 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,439 Speaker 4: that's very magnetic for some reason, and it has to 579 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,520 Speaker 4: be true. You can't just say you don't care. You 580 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:19,520 Speaker 4: have to really not care. 581 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,760 Speaker 6: So hard to really not care, I know, But once 582 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 6: you get that feeling, you don't get out of it. Yeah, 583 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,760 Speaker 6: once you don't care, you don't go back to caring again. 584 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,679 Speaker 6: So it's just something that's aspirational. And I don't think 585 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 6: it's supposed to happen at your age. I think it 586 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:36,520 Speaker 6: happens as you age. 587 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,919 Speaker 5: Okay, thank you for that. That's a good thing to 588 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,640 Speaker 5: look forward to. Yes, Okay. In the book you say 589 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 5: that the reason to have a partner or children shouldn't 590 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 5: be so that they can be there to watch you die. 591 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,600 Speaker 5: I look forward to either paying some nurse or drug 592 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,560 Speaker 5: dealer to put me down like a horse or help 593 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 5: usher me out of the world with a large dose 594 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:54,640 Speaker 5: of morphine. 595 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,639 Speaker 3: Incredible, what a revelation. It's so true. 596 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,119 Speaker 6: Yes, I mean, I'm still looking into euthanasia prematurely, like 597 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,720 Speaker 6: I don't really want to get old. Somebody said, if 598 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 6: you can get through the next fifteen years, there's going 599 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 6: to be so much science and innovation that you'll be 600 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,879 Speaker 6: able to live until you're one hundred and fifty, And 601 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,680 Speaker 6: I'm like, well one hundred and what I don't and 602 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,080 Speaker 6: do you stand up, like, what is my vocation at 603 00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:17,160 Speaker 6: one hundred and fifty? 604 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:18,639 Speaker 4: I can't afford to live. 605 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,960 Speaker 6: Until I'm one hundred and fucking fifty on Mars like, no, 606 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 6: I'm not interested. I want to do a group US 607 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,960 Speaker 6: in Asia with a group of friends at some point 608 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,240 Speaker 6: who are like minded. 609 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 5: I thought it was so funny because everyone talks about 610 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,359 Speaker 5: that they don't want to die alone, and you're like, 611 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:34,680 Speaker 5: it's ridiculous, who cares. 612 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:36,120 Speaker 4: No, I'm happy to die alone. 613 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,640 Speaker 6: Also, yes, absolutely, I had to have shoulder surgery two 614 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,320 Speaker 6: weeks ago and I was being put under. I'm like, 615 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,240 Speaker 6: if you want to give me a couple of extra doses, 616 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 6: I'm good. 617 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,600 Speaker 4: Like, I'm I'm I have a lot of big We 618 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 4: need you. I'm like, wouldn't be sad. I'm like, I 619 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,640 Speaker 4: love my life. I've had a great time, but I'm 620 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 4: also exhausted. 621 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,119 Speaker 5: No, no, we need you. There's so much more for 622 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,840 Speaker 5: you to say. I want all the opinions. I have 623 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,679 Speaker 5: one last question for you, because I love hearing stories 624 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 5: about your family. And you make fun of your dad 625 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 5: constantly for being a you cars salesman and being ridiculous 626 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 5: as you say. You make fun of your siblings, You 627 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,479 Speaker 5: make fun of your bosses while they're still your boss. 628 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,639 Speaker 5: You make fun of the people that you're dating. You 629 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:21,200 Speaker 5: make fun of the audience sometimes, but when you talk 630 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,760 Speaker 5: about your mom, it makes me emotional because it is 631 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:29,240 Speaker 5: straight love and admiration, and I couldn't help but think 632 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:34,119 Speaker 5: while reading this book about the woman that you wanted 633 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,439 Speaker 5: to become as this little girl. And now as you 634 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,720 Speaker 5: celebrate your fiftieth birthday, do you feel like your mom 635 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,040 Speaker 5: Rita would be proud of the woman that you became. 636 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I think she would be. 637 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 6: She was so different than me, and she was so 638 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:51,200 Speaker 6: so spoken and so quiet, like she didn't know what 639 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,520 Speaker 6: the fuck I want. My mom was always just kind 640 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,320 Speaker 6: of she just didn't know what to do with me. 641 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,040 Speaker 6: And then once I started to get and more mature, 642 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:05,000 Speaker 6: she was like, oh, She's like you're She's like, you 643 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,600 Speaker 6: have so much to say and you have so much 644 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,000 Speaker 6: to share. She's like, I think your frustration at being 645 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,520 Speaker 6: a child was because you had. 646 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 4: No agency and you just wanted to grow up. And 647 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 4: I did. 648 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,640 Speaker 6: All I wanted to do was grow up. I didn't 649 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,080 Speaker 6: want to be a baby. I was like, I felt 650 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 6: like a woman. I'm like, I'm a woman. My dad's 651 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,240 Speaker 6: like you're four. I'm like no, I feel like a woman, 652 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 6: Like I can go out and I just always had 653 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,800 Speaker 6: that independence, and my mom really recognized that in me 654 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 6: and understood that we were so different and that I 655 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 6: needed to like fly away. 656 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,280 Speaker 4: And when she was dying, she said the sweetest thing 657 00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:38,520 Speaker 4: to me. 658 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 6: She said, I know you're going to have a really 659 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,040 Speaker 6: big life, she said, and I need you to take 660 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,160 Speaker 6: care of your sister and your brother because they're going 661 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 6: to need you. And I know you're going to like 662 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:52,080 Speaker 6: meet all your goals and you're going to be wildly successful, 663 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:53,200 Speaker 6: and you're going to see the world. 664 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 4: And she's like, I won't be here, but I'll be there. 665 00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,480 Speaker 6: And so I always think of my mom when I'm 666 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,719 Speaker 6: going on not to like hit the stage to do 667 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:05,120 Speaker 6: something big, or before I perform, I always just like 668 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,720 Speaker 6: look up, and I just envisioned my mom like dancing 669 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:08,600 Speaker 6: around the ceiling. 670 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,040 Speaker 4: So she is always with me. So I'm glad you 671 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:13,480 Speaker 4: brought that up, Chelsea. 672 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:15,440 Speaker 3: I can't believe you made me cry. 673 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:16,560 Speaker 4: They may cry. 674 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 5: That's really sweet, really really sweet. Okay, I can't end 675 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,080 Speaker 5: on this note, so you have to make me laugh. 676 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,960 Speaker 5: I years ago read in some random magazine somebody asked 677 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 5: you a beauty product that they would cry out of 678 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 5: your cold dead hands, and it was like this seventy 679 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,880 Speaker 5: dollars moistureizer that I could not afford at the time 680 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,280 Speaker 5: and bought anyways because you said it. So now I 681 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,479 Speaker 5: need to know what is the updated version, What do 682 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 5: I need to buy? 683 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 3: And what can I cry out of your cold dead hands? 684 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,760 Speaker 4: Do you have oily skin or dry skin? 685 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:47,240 Speaker 3: A combination? 686 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:48,960 Speaker 4: I love liz Earl serum. 687 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,600 Speaker 6: I love like oil serum because I'm very dry, so 688 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:55,880 Speaker 6: I constantly need lubrication, hydration and serum. 689 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,360 Speaker 4: But if you have any oily skin, it's not the same. 690 00:30:58,400 --> 00:30:59,320 Speaker 4: It doesn't work for you. 691 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,240 Speaker 6: But what what could you not fly? I mean lip balm. 692 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,200 Speaker 6: Lipbom is the bomb. I use that under my eyes. 693 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,920 Speaker 6: I put it on my face when I try like 694 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 6: it's a I put it in when my hands are 695 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 6: like dry. 696 00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:14,880 Speaker 4: Put it on my hands like that is bazzling Lipbom. 697 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,600 Speaker 4: I have a tube of that wherever I go. 698 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,880 Speaker 3: That's a good one. Thank you so much for joining me. 699 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,719 Speaker 4: Thank you, it was such a pleasure. I had such 700 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 4: a great time with you. 701 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:25,320 Speaker 3: Thank you for that. 702 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,000 Speaker 2: Chelsea Handler is an author, comedian, and TV host. Her 703 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,360 Speaker 2: latest book, I'll Have What She's Having, is out next 704 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,880 Speaker 2: week February twenty fifth, and her comedy special Chelsea Handler 705 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,200 Speaker 2: The Feeling is out on Netflix next month. 706 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,400 Speaker 1: Well that's it for today's show. Tomorrow, we're popping off 707 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,720 Speaker 1: on the biggest pop culture moments of the week with 708 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:53,520 Speaker 1: comedian and content creator Rachel Samples. Join the conversation using 709 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,280 Speaker 1: hashtag the bright Side and connect with us on social 710 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:59,680 Speaker 1: media at Hello Sunshine on Instagram and at the bright 711 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,720 Speaker 1: Side Pod on TikTok oh, and feel free to tag 712 00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 1: us at Simone Boys and at Danielle Robe. 713 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:09,120 Speaker 5: Listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app, 714 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,880 Speaker 5: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 715 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,600 Speaker 1: See you tomorrow, folks, Keep looking on the bright side.