WEBVTT - Big Sister Blues

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<v Speaker 1>Speaks to the Plannet. I go by the name of

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<v Speaker 1>Charlamagne the God, and guess what, I can't wait to

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<v Speaker 1>see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and

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<v Speaker 2>The Black Effects And just like that, we're back on

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<v Speaker 2>the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode.

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<v Speaker 3>With your girl.

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<v Speaker 2>Just hilarious what I be doing. I'll be fixing mess, y'all,

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<v Speaker 2>and we're gonna jump straight in. Okay, okay, all right,

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<v Speaker 2>so let's see what we got here. We don't have

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<v Speaker 2>any voice memos. Feel free to send them. People, feel free.

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<v Speaker 2>I know y'all hate doing it, but Jesus Christ, just

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<v Speaker 2>feel free, please, because I'm so sick of trying to

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<v Speaker 2>read y'all. Goddamn, I got a calm down every time.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so sick of trying to read y'all goddamn stories.

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<v Speaker 2>And y'all are not using proper literature, proper english, you

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<v Speaker 2>guys are not like It's like mixing slang with no

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<v Speaker 2>punctuation marks. So it just looked like a rap song.

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<v Speaker 3>If I'm making.

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<v Speaker 2>Sense, it just don't sound anyway. Let me just get started.

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<v Speaker 2>Y'all know I'm a fuss at y'all, and so this

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<v Speaker 2>shit is over anyway.

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<v Speaker 3>What's up? Just hope every thing as well for you.

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<v Speaker 3>Let me get into it.

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<v Speaker 2>So. I have a little sister. She's three years younger

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<v Speaker 2>than me, and she is basically my best friend. I

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<v Speaker 2>think she has been going through something and has been

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<v Speaker 2>holding out on me. We usually tell each other everything,

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<v Speaker 2>but lately she has been distant in a way. I

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<v Speaker 2>can't quite put my finger on it, but I know

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<v Speaker 2>it's something she's going through. Like we still talk every day.

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<v Speaker 2>I even check her social media to make sure everything

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<v Speaker 2>is cool and it looks fine, but something just seems off.

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted to pop up on her to surprise her,

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<v Speaker 2>but every time I try to get an idea of

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<v Speaker 2>her schedule, it's like she kind of gives me the

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<v Speaker 2>run around, like she doesn't want me to know what

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<v Speaker 2>she's doing, or just simply don't want to be bothered.

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<v Speaker 2>So it has me questioning did I do something wrong

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<v Speaker 2>or maybe she just really needs me? Or could I

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<v Speaker 2>be just overthinking everything and told you.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm trying to y'all. I want to read the story

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<v Speaker 3>like she's saying it. You know what I mean? But

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<v Speaker 3>she mind?

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<v Speaker 2>Or could I just be overthinking everything and she's just

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<v Speaker 2>maybe going through her own thing? Girl, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>but all I know is I don't like it, and

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<v Speaker 2>I just want to be there for her. But I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know how you have a little sister. Does this

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<v Speaker 2>ever happen to you? And if it does, how do

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<v Speaker 2>you handle it?

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<v Speaker 3>Like?

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<v Speaker 2>What should I say, Okay, I struggle through the end there,

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<v Speaker 2>but you know it's all right. I beared with you,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm hopefully, hopefully, I'm hoping that my listeners bear

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<v Speaker 2>it with me all right now. Yes, I have a

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<v Speaker 2>little sister, and yes, what they do is they grow

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<v Speaker 2>up and they start doing things on their own, they

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<v Speaker 2>start making decisions on their own. And listen, let me

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<v Speaker 2>tell you, I can't sympathize with you more, okay, because

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<v Speaker 2>my little sister, Nayah, she is my baby. No, we

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<v Speaker 2>are eleven years apart. You and your sister are three

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<v Speaker 2>years apart, and I don't know how old you are.

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<v Speaker 2>You didn't provide any of that context, but that's okay.

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<v Speaker 2>She's still your baby sister, and I can relate to

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<v Speaker 2>that now. When I first came to live with me,

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<v Speaker 2>she was seventeen or no, eighteen, something like that. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>and eighteen or nineteen, I'm not sure either way.

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<v Speaker 3>It was.

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<v Speaker 2>It was years ago, a few years ago, right, and

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<v Speaker 2>we had was we were already we were getting getting close,

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<v Speaker 2>but we got so much closer when she moved in

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<v Speaker 2>and I started like she became my little baby. She

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<v Speaker 2>was always my baby sister. But we just created a

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<v Speaker 2>bond living with each other that we had never had before,

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<v Speaker 2>like prior to us living with each other, you know

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<v Speaker 2>what I mean.

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<v Speaker 3>And I don't want to see her leave the nest.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>I was there when she got her license, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I gave her our first car, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>And that's a being so she was, she was. She's

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<v Speaker 3>definitely a spoil little brat, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>But now, but my little sister has went through so

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<v Speaker 2>much in her life and then so coming to live

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<v Speaker 2>with me, we had the most deepest conversations, the most

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<v Speaker 2>deepest of conversations, right And we've traveled together for the

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<v Speaker 2>past three years, and we've done nothing but breathe each

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<v Speaker 2>other's air. And I'm talking about when I'm on my minstrel,

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<v Speaker 2>she's on hers, and she when she comes on hers,

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<v Speaker 2>like she bluetooths me.

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<v Speaker 3>And then I get on my.

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<v Speaker 2>Cycle and you know, like it's nothing like having a

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<v Speaker 2>fucking sister, you know, and having a sister that you're

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<v Speaker 2>close to. And I was the little sister for a

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<v Speaker 2>long time because we have an older brother, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>But then when I actually.

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<v Speaker 2>Got to fall into that role of being a big sister,

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<v Speaker 2>once I grew up and I realized what life was about.

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<v Speaker 2>And I, you know, just learning on, you know, catching

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<v Speaker 2>on to things that you go through in life and

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<v Speaker 2>just learning life. And now I'm a mother of two

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, with the fiance, I'm about to get married,

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<v Speaker 2>and I have my own businesses ploral business, thank god,

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<v Speaker 2>because none of it will be possible without him.

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<v Speaker 3>I start teaching my.

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<v Speaker 2>Little sister the importance of what it's like to own

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<v Speaker 2>your home instead of renting, and just teaching her how

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<v Speaker 2>to grow up, you know, like you know, it's better

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<v Speaker 2>to you know, lease cars if you know you're going

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<v Speaker 2>to buy new ones every goddamn year, lease them, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>And how to save money, save a certain percentage of

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<v Speaker 2>every check that you get, you know, and you put

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<v Speaker 2>it in the savings and trust funds and life insurance

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<v Speaker 2>and health insurance, and.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, how to you know, even with friends.

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<v Speaker 2>So I've been trying to help her fix her mess,

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<v Speaker 2>and she got with me, you know, because that's what

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<v Speaker 2>I do. And to be honest, she helps me fix

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<v Speaker 2>mine too. That's what my little sister does for me,

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<v Speaker 2>you know. And I'm saying all of this to say

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<v Speaker 2>so I've learned her in and out and she's learned

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<v Speaker 2>me in and out. Now she knows when something's wrong

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<v Speaker 2>with me, just like I can sense when something is

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<v Speaker 2>wrong with her. She can walk in the room and

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<v Speaker 2>not have to say a word, and I will no

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<v Speaker 2>immediately there's something wrong now, because Nya is that's my

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<v Speaker 2>little sister. Because she is not the person who just

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<v Speaker 2>puts all of her business out on front street like

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<v Speaker 2>she she's more so like she won't come to you.

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<v Speaker 2>She won't come to me until she's tried to fix

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<v Speaker 2>the problem at hand, until she exhausts all options, because

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<v Speaker 2>she doesn't want to be a burden to me. She

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't want to feel like she always wants something or

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<v Speaker 2>needs something, So she has this thing. Well, she'll hold

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<v Speaker 2>on to whatever she's going through, and she will try

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<v Speaker 2>to make it seem like she ain't going through a

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<v Speaker 2>damn thing.

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<v Speaker 3>And I know she's just like me. I cannot be phony.

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<v Speaker 2>Hold up, hold up, I know the shit getting good.

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<v Speaker 2>But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.

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<v Speaker 2>If you love me, you'll listen. One thing that people

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<v Speaker 2>have always said about jess before I became Justselearius is

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<v Speaker 2>Jessica Robin Moore growing up? Is you cannot be phony.

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<v Speaker 2>You can tell when something's going on with Jess. I

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<v Speaker 2>wear my emotions out on my face, on my sleeve,

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<v Speaker 2>outside of my body, my body language. When I cannot.

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<v Speaker 2>I cannot hide when I'm uncomfortable. I cannot hide when

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<v Speaker 2>I am upset. I cannot hide when I am angry,

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<v Speaker 2>and I cannot hide when I'm sad, and I damn

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<v Speaker 2>sure can't.

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<v Speaker 3>Hid when I'm about to blow up on my neck,

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<v Speaker 3>as y'all have seen you do in the past. But

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<v Speaker 3>I am reformed now. But I don't pry.

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<v Speaker 2>It's good not to pry, you know, because sometimes you

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<v Speaker 2>can scare a person away from opening up to you

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<v Speaker 2>if you press too hard for them to share with

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<v Speaker 2>you what they're going through. Sometimes you just got to

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<v Speaker 2>let things simmer, and you gotta let them. You got

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<v Speaker 2>to let that build up and to the point to

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<v Speaker 2>the point where they can't take it anymore, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and they can come to you and say, look, this

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<v Speaker 2>is what I'm dealing with. I don't know how it

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<v Speaker 2>got to this point. I don't know how to get

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<v Speaker 2>out of it. I just need some type of help,

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<v Speaker 2>you know. My sister, she has come to me on

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<v Speaker 2>many occasions like that. But what I always tell her is, listen,

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<v Speaker 2>you're not alone.

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<v Speaker 3>I understand you're so.

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<v Speaker 2>Used to dealing with everything on your own because, like

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<v Speaker 2>I said, she had to, she had to endure some

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<v Speaker 2>things growing up. And because of that, that is also

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<v Speaker 2>a result of not communicating right away when something's wrong

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<v Speaker 2>as a result of how she grew up.

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<v Speaker 3>You understand what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 2>So I don't know if that's the same with your sister,

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<v Speaker 2>but I learned not to press so hard now.

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<v Speaker 3>The other side to that is you sometimes you need

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<v Speaker 3>to pry.

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<v Speaker 2>Sometimes you need to dig it out of somebody because

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<v Speaker 2>they will sit there and they will fall into depression

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<v Speaker 2>or they will start having suicidal thoughts, depending on what

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<v Speaker 2>they're going through. Not saying this is your sister, not

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<v Speaker 2>saying this was ever my sister. I just know, depending

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<v Speaker 2>on the severity of you know, what they're enduring. You

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<v Speaker 2>just never know what they're thinking or what's going through

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<v Speaker 2>their mind, you know. And like, depression is real, and

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<v Speaker 2>it's hard to fall out of depression.

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<v Speaker 3>After you've gotten in it.

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<v Speaker 2>A lot of people don't even realize that they are depressed,

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<v Speaker 2>and by the time they do, they're so far into it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just like a new normal for them, which is

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<v Speaker 2>very horrible. It's horrible and it's hard to deal with,

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<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean. And I have been depressed before.

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<v Speaker 2>Some people's willpower is stronger than others, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>I came about it, that thing, no help, need it,

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<v Speaker 3>you know. But well I'm not gonna lie.

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<v Speaker 2>A lot of talking to God, a lot of praying.

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<v Speaker 2>I just meant, no professional help like therapy and things

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<v Speaker 2>like that. But that's also a key ingredient to killing

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<v Speaker 2>depression too, therapy, counseling, talking, venting, you know. So I

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<v Speaker 2>think you should just make her feel comfortable, you know

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<v Speaker 2>what I mean, Just make because you don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>scare her away.

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<v Speaker 3>You don't want her to feel like.

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<v Speaker 2>Damned like because she may not even know how to

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<v Speaker 2>muster her up the words to tell.

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<v Speaker 3>You what's going on.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, it may be something so bad that she

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<v Speaker 2>don't even know how to talk about it. You just

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<v Speaker 2>never know, So you have to be very careful with people.

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<v Speaker 2>You feel me, You understand what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 3>Just be careful and don't push her away.

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<v Speaker 2>However, you still need to talk to her, sit down

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<v Speaker 2>with her and talk with her and just meet her

0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:23.440
<v Speaker 2>on a level of.

0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:27.079
<v Speaker 3>Meet her where she is, and I know you can say,

0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:28.240
<v Speaker 3>well where if I get she I don't know.

0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:29.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to figure it out, you know what I'm saying, like,

0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:33.480
<v Speaker 2>make her feel safe enough, provide that safe environment for her,

0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:34.000
<v Speaker 2>for her.

0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:35.640
<v Speaker 3>To open up to you.

0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:39.800
<v Speaker 2>You know, you may feel like the way you know,

0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:42.040
<v Speaker 2>You may feel like you want to know right now,

0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:43.719
<v Speaker 2>right then and there, but she ain't ready to talk

0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:45.800
<v Speaker 2>about it. You know, she may tell you in pieces,

0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:47.959
<v Speaker 2>you know, but I know from my experience with me

0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:48.400
<v Speaker 2>being a.

0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:51.280
<v Speaker 3>Big sister, having a little sister who goes through things.

0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:54.319
<v Speaker 2>You know, I let her come to me sometimes, but

0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:56.679
<v Speaker 2>when I feel like it's weighing on her and everybody

0:11:56.760 --> 0:11:58.880
<v Speaker 2>else can see it, then I'll sit her down and

0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:02.880
<v Speaker 2>I'll say, you know, hey, you may not want to

0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:04.440
<v Speaker 2>tell me what's going on right now. You may not

0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:06.040
<v Speaker 2>even want to tell me what's going on later, but

0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:08.560
<v Speaker 2>I want you to know you are not alone. You

0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:11.280
<v Speaker 2>are okay. I will not judge you for whatever you

0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:14.720
<v Speaker 2>go through. I got you, I'm your big sister. We're closed.

0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:17.559
<v Speaker 2>You know, we have a bond that cannot be tainted,

0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:21.920
<v Speaker 2>It cannot be corrupted, It listen, you, my baby, whatever

0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:26.000
<v Speaker 2>you go through, I go through. And because I don't know,

0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:29.959
<v Speaker 2>I can't help you. If there's anything you need, just

0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:31.319
<v Speaker 2>let me know, even if you don't want to tell

0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:33.320
<v Speaker 2>me right now. Just think about it and just always

0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:35.000
<v Speaker 2>know that I am here. You know, you just have

0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:38.160
<v Speaker 2>to provide those spaces for her. A lot of people

0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:44.280
<v Speaker 2>get upset at people for not just spewing everything right away,

0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:47.679
<v Speaker 2>you know, being an open book. It's not easy for everybody.

0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.680
<v Speaker 2>It's not easy, you know. And I used to be

0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:51.080
<v Speaker 2>that way.

0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:52.480
<v Speaker 3>I used to be the open book.

0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:56.880
<v Speaker 2>I used to be the person that that was like, okay, look,

0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:00.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm letting her I know everything.

0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:03.720
<v Speaker 3>Like my mother could come in the room and give

0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:04.920
<v Speaker 3>me a hug. You know how you.

0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:06.400
<v Speaker 2>About to cry and somebody to give you a hun

0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:08.640
<v Speaker 2>You just like cry uncontrollably.

0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.840
<v Speaker 3>You just bust out and burst out in them damn tears.

0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:14.520
<v Speaker 2>I was always an open book, you know, with whether

0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:17.240
<v Speaker 2>it be with like a boyfriend or friends, whatever, everybody

0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:19.040
<v Speaker 2>would always know what the fuck I'm going through because

0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:22.960
<v Speaker 2>I've never been a person to leave shit in and

0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:25.240
<v Speaker 2>just let it get bottled up until I snap. Now

0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:28.120
<v Speaker 2>I have snapped, but not because I've kept something in

0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:30.599
<v Speaker 2>for so long just because that was that used to

0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:32.760
<v Speaker 2>be my personality in the way that I dealt with things,

0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:37.240
<v Speaker 2>which was not healthy as well. But as I've gotten older,

0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:44.520
<v Speaker 2>I learned that you can't just unload everything all the

0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:45.280
<v Speaker 2>time because.

0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:48.480
<v Speaker 3>Then people use things against you or you know.

0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:53.439
<v Speaker 2>And I used to be scared of vulnerability, being too

0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:56.640
<v Speaker 2>vulnerable with a person, you know, because so that could

0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:59.920
<v Speaker 2>also be her issue. You know, she wants to be strong,

0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:01.840
<v Speaker 2>and a lot of people just they don't want to

0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:04.160
<v Speaker 2>come off as week. That was my problem as well,

0:14:04.720 --> 0:14:06.200
<v Speaker 2>like I don't want to come off as week, So

0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:09.000
<v Speaker 2>let me just stop telling all of my business, you know,

0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:13.440
<v Speaker 2>amongst other reasons. I stopped letting people know everything why

0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:18.440
<v Speaker 2>I was upset about everything. And you know, but people

0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:21.720
<v Speaker 2>do get angry when you don't just unload. You know,

0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:24.760
<v Speaker 2>you have to take your time. It's baby steps with her,

0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:27.560
<v Speaker 2>Like I said, it could be something very very serious

0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:30.880
<v Speaker 2>that she doesn't know how to tell you or anybody.

0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:33.560
<v Speaker 2>If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and

0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:34.520
<v Speaker 2>then we'll be right back.

0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:38.400
<v Speaker 3>Also, just some questions for you. She in a relationship

0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:40.840
<v Speaker 3>is she?

0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:43.440
<v Speaker 2>Because I don't know, y'all, ages like, is she in

0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:46.960
<v Speaker 2>high school? Is she in college? Do you feel like

0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:51.080
<v Speaker 2>she's stressed out about the influences around her. I know

0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:55.880
<v Speaker 2>a lot of depression has come from social media. These

0:14:56.160 --> 0:15:00.240
<v Speaker 2>younger folks are looking and lusting over other people's lives,

0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:02.560
<v Speaker 2>and they're feeling like they're not doing enough because everybody

0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:04.760
<v Speaker 2>online look like they got it going on, and they're rich,

0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:06.800
<v Speaker 2>and they don't work jobs, and you don't have to.

0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:10.280
<v Speaker 2>You if you work a job that's corny and that's no, no,

0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:11.440
<v Speaker 2>you'll be broke forever.

0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:13.680
<v Speaker 3>You shouldn't have a job. You should start your own business.

0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:15.800
<v Speaker 2>I know, it's a lot of things that goes into

0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:20.080
<v Speaker 2>why a lot of people are walking around not.

0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:22.880
<v Speaker 3>Happy these days. You understand it's a lot.

0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:27.000
<v Speaker 2>And then given the economy, given our president, honey, given

0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:31.600
<v Speaker 2>the the state that America is in right now, that's

0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:32.600
<v Speaker 2>just the word on its own.

0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:35.880
<v Speaker 3>You just never know what somebody is going through.

0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.400
<v Speaker 2>Do you know if she has a boyfriend that's you know,

0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:42.280
<v Speaker 2>that could be verbally or mentally making her feel away

0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:45.120
<v Speaker 2>or just whatever. I don't want to say physical, because

0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:47.400
<v Speaker 2>we don't know, but shit, maybe maybe not.

0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:48.120
<v Speaker 3>We don't know.

0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:50.440
<v Speaker 2>Does she have a girlfriend, is she struggling to come

0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:54.680
<v Speaker 2>out to you. You Have you seen anything other than

0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:57.640
<v Speaker 2>what you have been seeing? Have you seen any other

0:15:58.440 --> 0:16:03.160
<v Speaker 2>behavioral changes, you know, any different any changes in her routine?

0:16:03.160 --> 0:16:06.000
<v Speaker 2>Do you guys live together? Are you close enough with

0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:10.800
<v Speaker 2>her to know that she's moving differently more than what

0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:13.120
<v Speaker 2>you just see right now? You know you said you

0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:15.480
<v Speaker 2>went on our social media to check, like, does she

0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:17.760
<v Speaker 2>have other friends that you can reach out to and

0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:20.800
<v Speaker 2>talk to? Does she is she closer with another sibling

0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:22.440
<v Speaker 2>of you guys, you know, because I don't know if

0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:24.640
<v Speaker 2>you too are the only children, because again you didn't

0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:27.360
<v Speaker 2>let me know. Do you guys have another sister that

0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:30.200
<v Speaker 2>she may be closer with that she opened up to you?

0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:32.960
<v Speaker 2>Just want to make sure everything is okay? Are you

0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:37.520
<v Speaker 2>Is she closer? Is she close with your parents?

0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:38.160
<v Speaker 3>You know?

0:16:38.360 --> 0:16:40.880
<v Speaker 2>It? Just there are certainly other ways to get to

0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:46.280
<v Speaker 2>the bottom of it without being so I forget the

0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:50.920
<v Speaker 2>word I'm looking for, intrusive, like don't don't intrude on her,

0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:54.840
<v Speaker 2>don't make her feel bombarded, you know, don't be so

0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:57.960
<v Speaker 2>don't over don't be overbearren that that's one of the

0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:01.520
<v Speaker 2>words I was looking for, you know, because everybody handles

0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:03.040
<v Speaker 2>what they're going through differently.

0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:07.879
<v Speaker 3>Everybody handles things differently, and yeah, so that's that.

0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:10.280
<v Speaker 2>Like I said, just the only thing you can do

0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:15.520
<v Speaker 2>is just follow my initial advice, you know, sit down

0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:19.159
<v Speaker 2>with her and provide that safe space, let her know

0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:21.560
<v Speaker 2>you are there, and then you can be even a

0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:23.240
<v Speaker 2>little take it a step further and just be more

0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:24.120
<v Speaker 2>transparent with her.

0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:26.479
<v Speaker 3>You can say, listen, I notice.

0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:29.280
<v Speaker 2>Just tell her what you notice, you know, don't even

0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:30.280
<v Speaker 2>ask her, hey, what's wrong?

0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:31.280
<v Speaker 3>Open up to me, let me know.

0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:34.640
<v Speaker 2>No, just tell her what you notice and tell her

0:17:34.640 --> 0:17:39.040
<v Speaker 2>that you've seen her happier. You've seen happier days with her,

0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:43.600
<v Speaker 2>and it just seems like it's not it's not the same,

0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:46.200
<v Speaker 2>so something had to change. You don't have to tell

0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:49.920
<v Speaker 2>me right now. But I noticed that you may not

0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:50.679
<v Speaker 2>be okay.

0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:51.840
<v Speaker 3>You may not.

0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:54.040
<v Speaker 2>Don't just tell her I notice you're not okay. I mean,

0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.040
<v Speaker 2>because you know that could be a little pushy as well.

0:17:56.080 --> 0:17:57.679
<v Speaker 2>I'm just trying to teach you how to treat the

0:17:57.720 --> 0:18:01.240
<v Speaker 2>situation fragile, you know what I mean, because like I said,

0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:03.359
<v Speaker 2>we don't know what she's going through, and you, as

0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:06.679
<v Speaker 2>big sister, you feel helpless, don't you You feel like, damn,

0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:08.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't I don't know how to help you.

0:18:08.200 --> 0:18:08.919
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:12.520
<v Speaker 2>I felt so bad and guilty and beating up on

0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:14.960
<v Speaker 2>myself because there are times that I couldn't figure out

0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:17.680
<v Speaker 2>what was wrong with Naya, you know. But she eventually

0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:20.080
<v Speaker 2>comes and she tells me and she shares what she

0:18:20.200 --> 0:18:24.080
<v Speaker 2>goes through, you know, and we just have to give

0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:26.960
<v Speaker 2>everybody grace in time to come to us.

0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:30.879
<v Speaker 3>You know. Hopefully she is praying, Hopefully.

0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:35.000
<v Speaker 2>She's not having any suicidal thoughts, because that's when you

0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:38.360
<v Speaker 2>step the fuck in, like, don't care whatever. That's why

0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:40.920
<v Speaker 2>I said it's it could be tricky. You don't want

0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:44.680
<v Speaker 2>to push too hard, but then you don't want us

0:18:44.720 --> 0:18:48.119
<v Speaker 2>to fall back too far either, because if anything happens,

0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:51.760
<v Speaker 2>then you feel like shit. I knew something was fucking

0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:56.520
<v Speaker 2>wrong and I didn't do everything I could, you know,

0:18:57.320 --> 0:19:01.200
<v Speaker 2>So just sat down with her immediately and let her

0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:04.640
<v Speaker 2>know you are there. You do notice some things, and

0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:07.960
<v Speaker 2>you want her to be better. You want for her

0:19:08.000 --> 0:19:10.359
<v Speaker 2>to get better. You want nothing more than that. Because

0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:12.840
<v Speaker 2>you tell her how much you love her, poor to her,

0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:15.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, that might make her cry, That might make

0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:20.639
<v Speaker 2>you cry. Seeing you cry, may even make her feel

0:19:20.680 --> 0:19:23.199
<v Speaker 2>like oh you do see me. Okay, look, I might

0:19:23.240 --> 0:19:24.920
<v Speaker 2>as well just let it out and tell you right now,

0:19:25.040 --> 0:19:28.360
<v Speaker 2>okay what you know what I mean? But just provide

0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:30.480
<v Speaker 2>me a little bit more context. I mean, you know,

0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:33.639
<v Speaker 2>a little bit more context with the questions.

0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:36.240
<v Speaker 3>That I asked you. You know what I mean. Give

0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:38.600
<v Speaker 3>me some more meat on the bone, y'all? All right,

0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:39.800
<v Speaker 3>keep me updated, baby girl.

0:19:39.800 --> 0:19:42.080
<v Speaker 2>And if nobody has told you I love you and

0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:43.960
<v Speaker 2>your little sister and you need to call her and

0:19:43.960 --> 0:19:46.080
<v Speaker 2>tell her you love her right now, right now. But

0:19:46.160 --> 0:19:48.399
<v Speaker 2>don't call her and have that conversation. You need to

0:19:48.440 --> 0:19:50.800
<v Speaker 2>sit down with her and have that conversation. I don't

0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:52.879
<v Speaker 2>know if she lives with you, I don't know, but

0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:55.679
<v Speaker 2>sit down. That's a face to face conversation. I just

0:19:55.680 --> 0:19:57.040
<v Speaker 2>want to tell you that before I get out of here.

0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:01.119
<v Speaker 2>Face to face. A lot of times text messages can

0:20:01.160 --> 0:20:05.840
<v Speaker 2>get misconstrued and misinterpreted. You may sound insensitive, you may

0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:10.760
<v Speaker 2>you know, man, Texting is not the greatest form of

0:20:10.760 --> 0:20:14.400
<v Speaker 2>communication when dealing with something so serious. A phone call

0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:17.439
<v Speaker 2>is not the best form of communication. When dealing with

0:20:17.480 --> 0:20:21.120
<v Speaker 2>something so serious, a face to face conversation make time

0:20:21.160 --> 0:20:23.560
<v Speaker 2>for that. I understand. People may be busy people may

0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:25.960
<v Speaker 2>have jobs. Your little sister maybe in school. Whatever y'all

0:20:25.960 --> 0:20:29.280
<v Speaker 2>got to do with y'all live is make time to

0:20:29.440 --> 0:20:34.840
<v Speaker 2>talk to her face to face. Okay, okay, And before

0:20:34.840 --> 0:20:39.199
<v Speaker 2>I get out of here, I want to say to

0:20:39.280 --> 0:20:41.879
<v Speaker 2>all my listeners as well, check on your people. Check

0:20:41.960 --> 0:20:46.560
<v Speaker 2>on your fucking people. Right, it's a lot more depression

0:20:46.600 --> 0:20:49.560
<v Speaker 2>these days. The depression rate and the mental illness rate

0:20:49.640 --> 0:20:54.040
<v Speaker 2>is so it's so high, it's higher than it's ever been.

0:20:54.640 --> 0:20:56.600
<v Speaker 2>You know, a lot of people going through shit with

0:20:56.640 --> 0:20:59.479
<v Speaker 2>their jobs, and these federal workers losing their jobs, and

0:20:59.560 --> 0:21:02.159
<v Speaker 2>you know, Elon Musk running the fucking country because the

0:21:02.240 --> 0:21:03.399
<v Speaker 2>damn show ain't Trump.

0:21:03.119 --> 0:21:04.000
<v Speaker 1>No mo uh.

0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:06.000
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's just a lot of things that we've

0:21:06.000 --> 0:21:08.479
<v Speaker 2>been having to endure. I just want to send prayers

0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:12.959
<v Speaker 2>up for everybody. I'm talking about the LGBT community, you know,

0:21:13.240 --> 0:21:16.280
<v Speaker 2>the trans community. You know, yes, we've had our back

0:21:16.320 --> 0:21:18.919
<v Speaker 2>and forth and everything like that, but it's a lot

0:21:19.000 --> 0:21:21.760
<v Speaker 2>of things that's happening for y'all as well that y'all

0:21:21.840 --> 0:21:24.440
<v Speaker 2>have to endure on top of already enduring everything else

0:21:24.440 --> 0:21:26.760
<v Speaker 2>that life throws at you. So my prayers up for

0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:30.240
<v Speaker 2>you guys as well. Then, you know, just check on

0:21:30.280 --> 0:21:32.840
<v Speaker 2>your family members too. You know, a lot of older

0:21:32.880 --> 0:21:37.480
<v Speaker 2>folks are having these these issues with fucking insurances, you know,

0:21:37.560 --> 0:21:39.880
<v Speaker 2>and not being able to get their prescriptions and shit.

0:21:40.040 --> 0:21:42.000
<v Speaker 2>You know, so a lot of shit like that pisces

0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:44.560
<v Speaker 2>me off. I have one grandmother left, God Rest early

0:21:44.600 --> 0:21:46.679
<v Speaker 2>and soul, but I got Helen left.

0:21:46.840 --> 0:21:48.640
<v Speaker 3>That's the last grandmama I got.

0:21:49.400 --> 0:21:52.440
<v Speaker 2>And you know, just hearing the horror stories that people

0:21:52.480 --> 0:21:54.400
<v Speaker 2>call up to the job, call up to the radio,

0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:55.480
<v Speaker 2>y'all all my breakfast club.

0:21:55.520 --> 0:21:57.920
<v Speaker 3>They call up to the radio and they complain all

0:21:57.960 --> 0:21:58.480
<v Speaker 3>the time.

0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:01.720
<v Speaker 2>You know, people's daughters and people's kids and grandkids and

0:22:01.760 --> 0:22:04.560
<v Speaker 2>you know, caretakers and stuff. They're just like, yo, I

0:22:04.600 --> 0:22:07.480
<v Speaker 2>wasn't able to go get my grandmother's prescription because her

0:22:07.520 --> 0:22:09.800
<v Speaker 2>insurance has been cut off or she's not getting a

0:22:09.800 --> 0:22:12.800
<v Speaker 2>call back, and you know, shit, it's just it's super

0:22:12.920 --> 0:22:16.439
<v Speaker 2>effed up right now, right So just check on people,

0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:18.679
<v Speaker 2>you know, check on our men, because how can our

0:22:18.720 --> 0:22:21.240
<v Speaker 2>men stay strong if they're going through shit as well?

0:22:21.280 --> 0:22:23.800
<v Speaker 2>Everybody is at a time right now we're in our

0:22:23.880 --> 0:22:26.440
<v Speaker 2>last and evil days, okay, so we all.

0:22:26.280 --> 0:22:27.680
<v Speaker 3>Just need to love on each other.

0:22:27.720 --> 0:22:31.800
<v Speaker 2>And I know, that's very hard for Americans, African Americans

0:22:32.200 --> 0:22:36.399
<v Speaker 2>and any and all fucking Americans. We are very very

0:22:36.520 --> 0:22:41.000
<v Speaker 2>very hard to love, and we're hard we're hard up

0:22:41.040 --> 0:22:42.440
<v Speaker 2>to give it, you know what I mean.

0:22:42.520 --> 0:22:46.840
<v Speaker 3>I mean that. I mean that in the most absolutely

0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:49.480
<v Speaker 3>profound way.

0:22:49.520 --> 0:22:54.280
<v Speaker 2>We are the most greediest, stingiest, most fucked up country, right,

0:22:54.440 --> 0:22:59.199
<v Speaker 2>the most toxic country, the most corrupt fucking country, and

0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:00.640
<v Speaker 2>our people are paying for shit.

0:23:00.520 --> 0:23:01.480
<v Speaker 3>That we didn't even do.

0:23:02.240 --> 0:23:03.959
<v Speaker 2>You know, we ain't even got nothing to do it

0:23:04.000 --> 0:23:06.040
<v Speaker 2>with the fuck Trump and Elon got going on, and

0:23:06.400 --> 0:23:08.920
<v Speaker 2>we're having to pay for this shit, Like I really want,

0:23:09.160 --> 0:23:14.119
<v Speaker 2>does the Constitution matter anymore? Like is there even a constitution?

0:23:14.160 --> 0:23:16.320
<v Speaker 2>Because I swear to God, it just seems like this

0:23:16.400 --> 0:23:19.880
<v Speaker 2>nigga got elected, reelected right, came in and just was like, man,

0:23:20.000 --> 0:23:22.159
<v Speaker 2>fuck all this shit. I'm just going to say. And

0:23:22.160 --> 0:23:24.280
<v Speaker 2>then it makes you wonder like can a president really

0:23:24.320 --> 0:23:27.760
<v Speaker 2>do that? Can one man really really do that? Could

0:23:28.160 --> 0:23:30.960
<v Speaker 2>could this have been something that's been done the whole time?

0:23:31.200 --> 0:23:34.320
<v Speaker 2>Like just fuck everything? You know, I mean, because I know,

0:23:35.560 --> 0:23:37.719
<v Speaker 2>when you're the president of the United States, you're very powerful.

0:23:37.760 --> 0:23:40.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah you can, you know, you could do almost anything.

0:23:40.880 --> 0:23:43.400
<v Speaker 2>But at the same time, there aren't any rules even

0:23:43.440 --> 0:23:46.479
<v Speaker 2>for him. You know, how are you a leader and

0:23:46.520 --> 0:23:47.520
<v Speaker 2>you don't even.

0:23:48.800 --> 0:23:49.520
<v Speaker 3>Child?

0:23:50.440 --> 0:23:52.280
<v Speaker 2>I can get started on that, but I will not.

0:23:53.160 --> 0:23:55.520
<v Speaker 2>I love you all and tune in next week.

0:23:55.960 --> 0:24:06.879
<v Speaker 3>Peace Class.

0:24:15.560 --> 0:24:17.280
<v Speaker 2>Taking cat.

0:24:38.200 --> 0:24:42.080
<v Speaker 3>Name a.

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<v Speaker 2>Name Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and

0:25:10.240 --> 0:25:13.760
<v Speaker 2>The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

0:25:13.800 --> 0:25:17.600
<v Speaker 2>iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

0:25:17.640 --> 0:25:18.280
<v Speaker 2>favorite shows.