1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Danny and Samantha and welcome to Stephane 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:19,119 Speaker 1: Never told you production of I Heart Radio. So it 3 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 1: is the end of the school year here in the 4 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 1: US for a lot of people. Congrats to everyone he 5 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 1: has graduated, including my knees. Yes, she graduated college. So 6 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:33,879 Speaker 1: proud of you, Gracie. I hear this, And you went 7 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 1: to a virtual graduation. Yes, I had it up and 8 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,839 Speaker 1: I was trying to take a little screenshot and I 9 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: missed it because of students graduating, and I got the 10 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: dude behind her. So I'm like, I don't know who 11 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: this person is. You should find out. You should seek 12 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,919 Speaker 1: him out and be like, I know, I swear I'm 13 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 1: not weird, but I happened. Well, it would be super 14 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 1: awkward because my knee is probably does know him, because 15 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,080 Speaker 1: you know how that goes. But yes, I did as well. 16 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: Let's go to a little dinner to congratulate her. She's 17 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: interviewing for jobs. But yes, congrats to all the graduates. Yes, 18 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: So my question for you is do you remember picture 19 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: day from school and or how was the experience for 20 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 1: you and do you have like a particularly bad picture 21 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:21,040 Speaker 1: that it came out of this So my senior pictures 22 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 1: were pretty nice. I actually really liked my senior pictures, 23 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 1: so I remember getting them. I was like, oh, I 24 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 1: look nice. Great, they're definitely more school pictures. Middle school 25 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 1: years were rough, rough. I definitely was in a lot 26 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:38,759 Speaker 1: of activities, so any of those made me really nervous. 27 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 1: You never know. I was also, I think you're not 28 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: talked about superlatives. I really regret the dress that I wore. 29 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: I looked like a very religious eighties mom because it 30 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: was like this weird cotton overall looking dress with like 31 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: a plaid shirt, long sleeve shirt Underneathan and I think 32 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: we were standing by cows. I don't remember. I don't 33 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 1: know why, because I was the most dependable. That was 34 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 1: my coperlatives, and yet that's what we looked like. Well, 35 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: but next to a cow broadcasts depend it, that's a 36 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: that's a huge regret. Next to a cow in my 37 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 1: plaid sure, with my dark hunter green all the way 38 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 1: to the ground dress, Wow, yeah, it wasn't cute. Well, 39 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: I I kind of was similar in that I had 40 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: a eccentric fashion taste, shall we say. But it also 41 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: turns out I'm very slightly color blind, which I always suspected, 42 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,639 Speaker 1: but so I would put colors together that really had 43 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: no business being together. But I would get very nervous 44 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: and excited on picture day growing up. My worst picture 45 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: I ever took was seventh grade, and I'm still angry, 46 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,359 Speaker 1: but I guess I can't really blame the photographer, but 47 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 1: I'm angry no one stopped me because I looked terrible 48 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,359 Speaker 1: and my hair it looked as like my bangs were 49 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 1: visible nodded nos, and my hair was kind of like 50 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 1: sticking up in all like a rat's nest on top. 51 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 1: And then I was wearing all purple, just different shades 52 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: of purple. I feel like we need to get these 53 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:18,560 Speaker 1: pictures and post them up. I feel differently, let's show 54 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 1: them off. Yes, yes, it's it's a terrible picture. You know, 55 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: maybe I'll look back at it and it won't be 56 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,959 Speaker 1: as bad, but you know, in that moment comes out 57 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,920 Speaker 1: and you see it and you're like, oh, that's what 58 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 1: I'm hoping to. Like five years after I originally took it, 59 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,200 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is so bad. This is 60 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 1: so bad. It's been over twenty years now, it was 61 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: twenty one years now, and I'm like, I kind of 62 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: want to look back. Is it as bad as I 63 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: think it is? I think it is. I think mine 64 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 1: is too, But at least I was a young age, 65 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 1: so it'll feel kind of like, oh, I'm gonna go 66 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,839 Speaker 1: back and look at them now. Yes, we'll report back 67 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 1: on that. Listeners. And this has been on my mind 68 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: because recently a Florida high school made headlines across the 69 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: country when at least eighty photos female students were edited 70 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: to remove any hand of cleavage and even clavical. Parents 71 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 1: and students spoke out about this, saying that the editing 72 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 1: sexualized girls and the whole thing was pretty gross. In 73 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 1: case you're wondering, zero photos of male students were altered. 74 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,200 Speaker 1: There were pictures including dues on the swim team and spudos. 75 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 1: None of the girls consented to the altering. Many said 76 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,839 Speaker 1: they were humiliated by the whole thing, and most I 77 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 1: think all of them found out when they got the yearbook. Yeah, 78 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: so the un book coordinator ordered the edits, claiming that 79 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 1: the clothing did not adhere to the dress code, which 80 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,160 Speaker 1: is weird. By the way, some of them editors are 81 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 1: really bad and the un book cost one dollars. They're 82 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,280 Speaker 1: so freaking expensive. They're prett expensive of what I got them, 83 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: but I don't think it was one dollars at that point. 84 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: And this part conversation on the confusing message and double 85 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: standard broadcast to girls and young women, which is a 86 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: constant battle still that to be feminine you need to 87 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 1: be sexual and traditionally physically desirable. But when you do so, 88 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 1: you will be judged and punished obviously, and they made 89 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,479 Speaker 1: fun of and then being told you're wrong. Um, but 90 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:07,799 Speaker 1: there is a morality associated with modesty that these girls 91 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: has something to be ashamed of. Again, it wasn't even 92 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,680 Speaker 1: that big of a deal when you would take the pictures. 93 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: And at the same time, it demonstrates society's unhealthy focused 94 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,800 Speaker 1: on women's bodies and sexuality and how we view these 95 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 1: bodies as part of the institution, something to be controlled, 96 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,960 Speaker 1: which is so annoying. Again, Yeah, how does the coordinator 97 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,560 Speaker 1: have the authority to do this? When you look at 98 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: something like a dress code, they are far more focused 99 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:38,800 Speaker 1: on policing women's and girls bodies compared to men and boys, 100 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: and if it is men and boys, is typically racist. 101 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: So yeah, definitely definitely something to think about. Yes, in 102 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 1: response to this whole thing, the district is now considering 103 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 1: changes to a stress code. At this particular school, there 104 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: were three bullet points for male dress code. The girl's 105 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 1: dress code also had three, but with a bunch of 106 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:59,280 Speaker 1: like sub bullet points and caveats and clear fires under each, 107 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: including a role. Shirts quote must be modest and not 108 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:05,719 Speaker 1: revealing or distracting. Similar language is not present in the 109 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 1: boys dress code, once again implying that boys can't control 110 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,280 Speaker 1: their sexual impulses, so the responsibility for doing so is 111 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: on girls. And dress codes are not inherently bad when 112 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: they target one group over the other and include sexualizing 113 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:20,360 Speaker 1: language and one and not the other, than that is 114 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: a problem. Right, and these codes often penalized girls of 115 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,920 Speaker 1: color even more harshly, and we know those studies have 116 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:30,040 Speaker 1: found that adults view black girls as less innocent and 117 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 1: more knowledgeable about sex when compared to white girls. Other 118 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: studies show that this hyper focus on girls and dress 119 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,159 Speaker 1: codes has a negative impact on self esteem and body 120 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 1: image on top of all the other negative messaging around 121 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: their own bodies. Girls are absorbing during adolescence. Even finding 122 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:50,360 Speaker 1: clothing that isn't sexualized can be difficult, especially for people 123 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: with bigger breast. Right, this is by no means the 124 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 1: first time that this has happened. Even a few months 125 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 1: ago at this school, there was a dress code crackdown 126 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,720 Speaker 1: and dident when a girl wearing a zipped up jacket 127 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: over a sports braul was called out and given a 128 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: white shirt to wear. She and other girls were told 129 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:11,520 Speaker 1: to unzip their jackets to reveal tank tops or sports bras. Again, 130 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 1: this is Florida is really hot. The next day some 131 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 1: students protested, including boys who wore white dresses and skirts. 132 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 1: It feels like every few years we get a headline 133 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: like this of a school policing girl's bodies. I think 134 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: it's every year now. Yeah, editing yearbooks, which reignites the 135 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 1: argument over dress codes. And it's not limited to year books. 136 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 1: I remember the big hubbub when Emma Watson's drest were 137 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: enlarged on the Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix 138 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 1: poster and she was fifteen. And you gotta ask yourself 139 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: why I do that? And I know some actors have 140 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 1: clauses in their contracts to make them look sinners stuff 141 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 1: like that, but this was not that. This was not 142 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 1: that right, right well, I mean, even with them having 143 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 1: online school, they still had dress codes. Yeah, it's just 144 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,400 Speaker 1: what like, as long as is not super offensive, like 145 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: you wear clothes please? Yes, why wear? I mean I 146 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,200 Speaker 1: followed that rule. But yeah, it seems like there's just 147 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 1: a lot of control and an ability to admit. Yeah, 148 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 1: what they like, you're calling yourself out when you do 149 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 1: this a and you're not protecting anyone except for yourself 150 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,200 Speaker 1: in the essence that you're not protecting yourself because again 151 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: you're calling yourself out, right, but I know that I 152 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: just read that Kate Winslett had to go back and 153 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 1: tell them not to edit out her Bulgi dump tummy 154 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 1: that it was in a sex scene and or the wrinkle. 155 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: She's like, no, this is part of my character and 156 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,600 Speaker 1: just being able to thrive as a forty five year 157 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 1: old and live life and enjoy it and not have 158 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: to be this perfectionist that the standards are so unrealistic 159 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: for anyone anyway, but agents should not be seen as 160 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: this way. But kind of that same level of what 161 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:06,559 Speaker 1: are you doing enjoy myself in reality? Right? Yeah? Yeah. 162 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:08,720 Speaker 1: My school's just code was pretty stripped and they would 163 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,440 Speaker 1: make you like stand up in the middle of class, 164 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,080 Speaker 1: and especially for girls, it was you know, your fingertip 165 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: rule whatever, like short skirt had to be past your 166 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: fingertips and you couldn't show your shoulders Heavens no and 167 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 1: no bra strap no. And it does make you feel 168 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 1: very insecure about your body to be like called out 169 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 1: like that and feel like are people looking at me 170 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,560 Speaker 1: this way? Right? I was just trying to wear shorts 171 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: something for them to call you out, pull you up 172 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,839 Speaker 1: to the front of class to do this. Everybody's watching. 173 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: You're like, what's what's happening? And then if you can't 174 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 1: wear or something, they shame you with a larger piece 175 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,960 Speaker 1: of clothing that looks like you know, You're like, what, 176 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:49,400 Speaker 1: this doesn't even make sense? Yeah, are they at my school? 177 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,560 Speaker 1: They call your parents? So you had it did feel 178 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 1: very like a public shaming it. It was, Yeah, so 179 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:01,960 Speaker 1: is a lot more. Obviously we could get into here, 180 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,559 Speaker 1: but that's that's what we've got to say about this 181 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,959 Speaker 1: for this Monday Mini. If you have any topic ideas 182 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 1: that you would like us to cover, you can email us. 183 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 1: Our email is Stuff Media mom Stuff at ihart mea 184 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,200 Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mom 185 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,439 Speaker 1: Stuff Podcast or an Instagram at Stuff I've Never told 186 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,600 Speaker 1: you I thinks it's always to our super producer Christina, 187 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,319 Speaker 1: thank you and thanks to you for listening stuff I 188 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,440 Speaker 1: never told your production to iHeart Radio. For more podcast 189 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 1: from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, 190 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.