WEBVTT - Party of One 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:06.000 This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:07.760 --> 0:00:09.960 Chris Harrison and Lauren's Ema Coming to you from the 0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:14.200 friendly home office of Austin, Texas. We are back. We 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:16.960 took a little break, not from the pod, but just 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:18.560 we got out of Austin for a little bit, took 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:19.240 a little trip. 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:22.960 We've been everywhere. I mean, I was in Cabo to 0:00:23.000 --> 0:00:26.279 celebrate your birthday. I came home to help Taylor pack 0:00:26.360 --> 0:00:29.520 up for college and shop for college. Then I went 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:33.160 back to Cabo for my girl's annual girls trip slash 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:36.559 one night bachelorette party. Then we went to Idaho, which 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:39.000 was lovely. Then we went to Colorado for one night 0:00:39.120 --> 0:00:41.400 to see a concert at Red Rocks because neither of 0:00:41.440 --> 0:00:43.320 us had been. It was on our bucket list. And 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:45.720 now we're back here and I have to give Chris 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:51.760 Harrison an absolute commendation right now, a gold star. We 0:00:51.880 --> 0:00:54.320 are sitting in our office. You may have seen in 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:57.000 the news Austin has set a record. It's something like 0:00:57.440 --> 0:01:00.720 over forty straight days of for one hundred. 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:02.440 Next Monday, it's breaking. 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:04.280 Oh, we're gonna get a cold wave. What's it going 0:01:04.319 --> 0:01:04.679 to be. 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:06.080 Down in the high eighties? 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:09.360 Wow, and at the sweater winter front moving here. 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:11.360 I'm getting all of our jackets out today. 0:01:11.520 --> 0:01:17.080 So it's been so hot and now listen. First, I 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:19.000 was a little I don't know if perturbs the right word. 0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:22.240 But without consulting me, without even sending me a link 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:26.440 of visual aid, getting my opinion at all, Chris Harrison 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:30.560 purchased a fan for our office where we record the podcast. 0:01:30.600 --> 0:01:33.200 He said, it's so hot in there. We got to 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:35.240 get the light fixture out. We're putting a fan in 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:41.000 and I'm like, even check with me, okay, but he 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:43.600 did an absolutely stellar job. Why did I even question 0:01:43.720 --> 0:01:46.559 your taste? This fan is perfect, It matches our desk, 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:51.120 The esthetics are on point. I can't I want to 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:52.640 kiss you. You did such a great job. 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:55.160 It spins around and blows air, which is fantastic. 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:58.240 Wait are you saying you didn't think about you lost and. 0:01:58.200 --> 0:02:00.760 The look are are weak? Rope quick and I want 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:07.200 to go back our trip to Colorado. We both wanted 0:02:07.200 --> 0:02:09.160 to go to Red Rocks. If you have grown up 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:13.120 in the seventies eighties around then, you obviously knew the 0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:18.880 hugely popular famous YouTube video The Sunday Bloody Sunday video 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:21.440 and it was shot at Red Rocks and it was 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:23.600 this iconic video and I've always wanted to go to 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:26.280 Red Rocks. It turned out a good friend of ours, 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:29.320 Parker McCollum, was playing at Red Rocks and he put 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:32.960 on a show with Will Beckman and Randy Rogers. It 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:35.200 was an epic night. But what I love most about 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:38.679 that night is Lauren and I were sitting in the amphitheater. 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:42.160 I don't know we met thirty people came by. I 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:44.160 don't know, a bunch of people. We just met so 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:47.359 many great people in Colorado. So much love to Denver, 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:49.320 much love to the folks at Red Rocks. I loved 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:51.760 everybody coming up and saying hello. And I do love 0:02:51.760 --> 0:02:54.360 that when people swung by and they said, hey, I 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:56.440 listened to your podcast. You said you like it when 0:02:56.440 --> 0:02:58.079 people come say hello. I said, no, I do. 0:02:58.200 --> 0:02:58.440 I do. 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:01.320 It's great. And so everybody was in a good mood. 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:04.320 It's a beautiful place and it was emotional walking in there. 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:08.600 It really is a spectacular venue. I posted a picture 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:11.440 from the venue and everybody says the same thing, most 0:03:11.639 --> 0:03:14.639 iconic venue ever. And I agree. A lot of stairs, 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:15.720 a lot of stairs. 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:18.480 I had several tequilas, and at the end I had 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:20.560 to walk up those stairs. That was what Chris called 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:21.560 a sobering moment. 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:24.200 That was a sober up moment. But by the way, 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:27.280 a huge shout out to Parker McCollum, who headlined for 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:30.600 the first time at Red Rocks. Sold it out, dude, 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:31.760 rushed it, killed it. 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:34.920 A wonderful friend of ours. He's just so talented. 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:37.840 And his beautiful wife, Hallie Ray. Yes. Oh, by the way, 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:40.000 I have to get on the podcast because we were 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:43.720 in backstage with Halle Ray and I learned something about 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:46.200 her and the Bachelor I did not know. I won't 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:48.640 spoil it here, but I said, you have to come 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:50.480 on and tell the story. So she's going to come 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:53.800 on soon and tell this crazy story. Now, another thing 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:55.440 we glossed over, and I want to go back because 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:56.880 it kind of leads to I need to. 0:03:56.800 --> 0:03:59.160 Pause for a second. You keep telling me I was 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:01.800 gloss and things. I was trying to compliment you on 0:04:01.840 --> 0:04:02.160 the fan. 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:03.000 No, I appreciate that. 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:04.320 Thank you. 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:08.360 I love that you are a fan. Oh my god, dad. 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:13.520 Joke number one being your girl's trip. You've been posting 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:16.600 a lot on Instagram about your girls trip. Yes, and 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:19.880 people have reached out and said, this is a remarkable 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:22.240 group of women. I love your girls' trips, Like this 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:25.400 is crazy that you fourteen fifteen, sixteen of you would 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:29.600 ever get together every year without fail. Unless someone is 0:04:29.800 --> 0:04:32.400 dying or someone's giving birth. Those are the only reasons 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:35.920 you're allowed to skip life and death. Yes, and even then, 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:38.760 like you've had multiple show up pregnant, like ready to 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:39.159 give birth. 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:40.960 But they still say, say, give me a mocktail. 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:43.719 I'm here for the vibe, and I love the fact 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:46.760 that because you're going to lead us into today's topic 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:49.320 of the most dramatic podcast ever, but it kind of 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:53.080 goes back to this strong group of girls who look 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:54.480 after each other no matter what. 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:56.640 Well, you know, I actually wanted to ask you about 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:58.800 it because I have found myself making these sort of 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:01.720 big statements because this trip we just had. We've been 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:06.279 friends for about fifteen years. In the beginning, when everybody 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:07.800 was kind of you know, a lot of us are 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:11.040 Midwesterners and we're getting married in our mid twenties, and 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:13.640 so we had bachelorette parties and we had weddings to 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:16.359 see each other at. And then when more and more 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:18.080 of us were getting locked down. We said, hey, we 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:20.920 might not have all these weddings, so let's do one 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:23.560 trip a year guaranteed to see each other. And it 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:26.680 has been so good for maintaining our friendship. We look 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:29.680 forward to it every year. It feeds our souls. And 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:32.600 this trip was I think maybe our best trip ever. 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:36.200 We didn't have any air travel issues, nobody was pregnant, 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:39.480 so everybody was having real tequila and we just had 0:05:39.520 --> 0:05:43.760 a perfect time. And then I find myself making these 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:48.320 big statements like nothing makes me happier. I never laugh harder. 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:53.760 These are my soul sisters. Serious question, as my partner, 0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:56.400 is it annoying when I say things like that? 0:05:56.560 --> 0:05:59.000 Is it at all hurtful or funny? I never thought 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:01.680 about it till you were saying it. Okay, great send it. 0:06:01.680 --> 0:06:05.919 It is beyond not offensive. It is wonderful, And I 0:06:05.960 --> 0:06:09.240 get it. I have wonderful friends, like good friends. We're out, 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:11.200 you know, doing our golf thing or on the trips 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:14.320 to Pebble Beach or whatever. You laugh and you relax 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:17.920 and you let your guard down unlike any other. And 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:20.360 it's just those are the people that know you the best. 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:24.240 These girls have known you before during and after all 0:06:24.279 --> 0:06:27.920 of your work success, babies, whatever it is, divorces, they 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:30.760 just know, they know all your bugaboos, they know where 0:06:30.760 --> 0:06:33.719 all the skeletons are. So you can just relax and 0:06:33.760 --> 0:06:34.120 be you. 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:37.160 And there's also no matter what, as much as I 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:40.080 laugh with you and love you so deeply, it's a 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:44.600 different relationship. You're my partner versus your friends. You're just 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:47.280 gonna you know, there's the female connection and bond and 0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:48.920 looking at photos of us and we're all kind of 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:52.040 laying all over each other, sort of resorting or reverting 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:54.040 back to when we lived in a sorority house together 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:57.200 and there was a therapist I think who said on 0:06:57.960 --> 0:07:02.240 Instagram or something. But we're in this era now where 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:05.640 we kind of demand that our partner be all things. Yeah, 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:08.400 and that that really isn't healthy. Like you say, oh, 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:11.679 my partner's my best friend, and and sure that's great, 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:15.840 but you know, years ago, people sort of relied on 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:19.800 other relationships, friends, mentors, family to get different. 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:23.679 Sometimes people went into work at offices, right, and your work. 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:27.000 Friends might fulfill a different need than your neighborhood friends. 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:30.520 And so it's okay for people to be different things 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:32.520 in your life and to meet and want all these 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:33.560 different things in your life. 0:07:33.560 --> 0:07:36.400 It's really hard for one person to be all things 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:37.679 in your life. 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:40.320 But I have to say, you are the guy that 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:41.120 bought the right fan. 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:44.240 I bought the right fan. I know my place and 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:46.440 I know, but you bring up a really good point. 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:49.920 It's it's I love you, I love hanging out with you. 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:54.680 You are a wonderful lover friend, all these things. But 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:57.360 I also get things from my buddies that you're just 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:00.480 not going to give me. And that's and that's fine, babe. 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:02.080 Are you saying I can't. 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:03.760 You can't be all They golf with you and talks. 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:07.120 As many personalities as you bring out in a day, 0:08:07.480 --> 0:08:20.760 you still can't be all of them. That brings us 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:23.680 into today's topic that you wanted to talk about. What 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:24.800 are we talking about today? 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:27.080 Well, part of the reason this came up was from 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:30.120 our wonderful producer Kendall, who I think we might bring 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:32.600 on because I have a couple questions for her. Actually, 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:35.760 so we've been kind of talking about a lot of 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.760 people I know watch the show and just like that, 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:41.800 now I will admit. This is The Sex and the City, 0:08:41.960 --> 0:08:45.680 a spinoff series featuring the women later in life, in 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:48.800 a different phase of life, decades later after the original show, 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:52.520 and it's now on season two and I watched. I 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:55.480 tried to watch the first season and I did not 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:59.200 like it. I thought the characters were off, the writing 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:01.880 wasn't as good, the acting wasn't as good. And now 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:03.520 it's in season two and a lot of people are 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:05.320 saying it's gotten a bit better. They found their way 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:08.679 a little bit. And then this moment on a recent episode, 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:12.400 on episode eight, I was seeing all over Instagram people 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:14.559 who I follow who watched the show were commenting on 0:09:14.600 --> 0:09:18.240 how powerful it was. And it is a moment where Carrie, 0:09:18.520 --> 0:09:22.160 our main girl, has a conversation with this character, Seema, 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:27.040 about how Carrie a spoiler alert, Carrie's gotten back to 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:30.080 dating Aiden from the original series, and they are moving 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:34.280 fast and furious. A month in, she's saying, we and 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:37.000 they're so in love again, and they're making plans to 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:39.320 you know, for her to meet as kids and for 0:09:39.360 --> 0:09:42.480 them to spend time together. But she had plans with 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:46.160 Seema to do a summerhouse in the Hamptons, and Sema 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:49.199 tells her, I don't want to do the house anymore. 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:53.760 I've gotten our deposit back. I can't handle the idea 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:57.120 of spending all this money to be in a house 0:09:57.200 --> 0:10:01.120 with you and for Aiden to be there all the time, 0:10:01.360 --> 0:10:02.520 right to feel like. 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:04.600 This is going to be a special girls trip and 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:05.920 we own this and we're going to have a great 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:08.600 girl summer, and now you're just going to be hooking 0:10:08.640 --> 0:10:09.360 up with your boyfriend. 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:12.160 Well, now the dynamic has changed, she's basically saying, and 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:15.120 she's not mad at Carrie, but Carrie's very hurt by this. 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:17.240 She says, no, please, I want to do the house together. 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:20.000 Aiden won't be there all the time. But Sema says, 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:24.679 for me, I don't want to have that feeling of 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:27.160 being there with you two as a couple. I don't 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:29.920 want to do this. So this conversation kind of goes 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:33.360 viral and everybody's pointing out, what a great conversation for 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:36.520 the single friend to speak up and say, I'm drawing 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:38.920 a boundary here, I don't want to do this. And 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:43.280 it's bringing up these questions of, you know, is it 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:45.040 okay to be the third wheel? Is it okay to 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:49.000 invite your friend out on couples things with you? When 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:51.120 is it not okay? When is it annoying and when 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:53.480 can the single friend speak up and not sound like 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:55.400 a jerk by doing it well? 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:59.040 And as far as the person who just started dating, 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.560 I found it interesting too. And Carrie, I'm not a 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:03.800 huge sex in the city watcher. I watched the original 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:07.160 I'm definitely not going to get into these new shows, 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:11.880 but I watched enough, and I've watched some with you. 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:16.240 Carrie is very flawed. Like she doesn't really she spoke. 0:11:16.920 --> 0:11:19.040 I got the feeling she was like this really good 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:20.839 friend or whatever. But she likes she makes a lot 0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:24.440 of mistakes. She leaves her friends in a lurch a lot. 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:27.360 Yeah, No, Carrie's kind of a it's when you watch 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:28.960 When I watched the show the first time when it 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:32.040 was on, to then do I did a full rewatch 0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:34.400 of the original series a few months ago, and to 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:36.880 watch it through the lens of now being in my thirties, 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:39.560 I'm watching it thinking, speaking of good friends. 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:42.200 Carrie is she's not a great friend. 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:44.920 She's in the first couple of seasons, she's a very 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:48.599 toxic girlfriend. Actually, so, no, Carrie is very flawed. And 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:50.520 then you look back and think, oh crap, I grew 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:52.240 up idolizing her when I was in my twenties. 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:53.720 What did that do to me? And that brings up 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:55.319 the topic I was thinking too, is from the flip 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:58.840 side of even though you're in a relationship, it's being 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:02.920 a good friend. It's not absolutely just bailing on everybody 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:06.560 because you happen to be in love and having good 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:07.560 sex these days. 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:11.320 So there's lots of articles about this moment. HuffPost says 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:15.160 what and just like that gets right about being the 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:20.960 only single friend and again dives into this. Now, Kendall, 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:23.120 I wanted to ask you because you had texted us 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:24.319 producer Kendall. 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:26.120 And if it's okay, I'm just going to say it. 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:28.679 Kendall's twenty five years old. Yes, so this helps. So 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:31.440 she is much younger than us, but she is in 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:33.920 a committed relationship and has been for five years. 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:36.360 And Kendall, you texted us as we were talking about 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:38.800 discussing this topic today and you said we need to 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:42.320 change the stigma of being the third wheel. So I 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:44.360 wanted to ask you, what is this? What do you 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:46.400 think the stigma of being the third wheel is what 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:47.400 needs to change. 0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:50.240 So I've obviously been in a relationship for five and 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:52.960 a half years and my best friend is constantly going 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.640 on dates with us, and we always are with her 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:58.840 just because I live with her too, So it sometimes 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:00.920 gets tough, like whenever or we want to do things 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:02.880 on a date night but she asked me to hang out. 0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:05.280 But for her, there's also a lot of positives out 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:06.760 of it, and I try to tell her that even 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:09.760 though she feels lonely when she's with us, Like, for example, 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:12.400 my boyfriend will pay for her dinner because why not, 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:15.880 and he will set her up on a date, and 0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:19.000 he will give her advice on her dating problems. I 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:20.599 just feel like there's a lot of positives out of 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:24.760 it that you can think about and it shouldn't be 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:25.880 as negative as you think. 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:28.240 But are there boundaries that you need to set? Are 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:30.360 there sometimes when you just want to be alone with 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:33.640 your boyfriend? Or conversely, are there times where hey, I 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:36.440 just need a girl's night with my roommate. I'm going 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:38.840 to go out alone without you, without your boyfriend. 0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:42.520 Yeah, honestly, kind of the second one. There are more 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:44.080 times where I want to kind of just be with 0:13:44.120 --> 0:13:45.680 her and I have to tell my boyfriend, like, hey, 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:47.120 I want to go out with her and have a 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:47.600 girl's night. 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:48.920 Lauren does that to me too? 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:52.040 Well, I actually was going to say, I am so 0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:54.000 part of the reason I wanted to ask you, Kendall, 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:57.920 I am so sort of unfamiliar with this because I've 0:13:58.120 --> 0:14:01.720 never done this. I have never really said, hey, do 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:04.600 you friend hang out with me and my boyfriend. I've 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:07.080 never done what Carrie did of expecting a friend to 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:10.960 kind of come in and vibe with like my boyfriend 0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:13.520 being a part of Honestly, you know, what you have 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:16.600 to think is who's the third wheel here in the 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:20.040 situation with Carrie and Sema and the Hampton's house really 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:22.440 aid in the boyfriend is the third wheel they were 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:22.960 bringing in? 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:25.240 Well, she should be. If Carrie wasn't a crappy friend, 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:27.880 which she is, that would be the case. But I 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:30.520 think the way she probably is, And I think this 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:33.840 tells two different types of people. A selfish person who's 0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:36.320 just all about their new relationship and they're you know 0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:39.080 that glow and the endorphins are firing, and you just 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:41.640 you leave Seema, you leave your friend in a lurch. 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:44.560 Or there are those who would make the guy the 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:47.120 third wheel and I'm all about my girlfriend. I'm all 0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:49.480 about getting up and I'm chatting with her late at night, 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:52.760 we're watching Bravo, We're having coffee in the morning, and 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:55.600 so there's I think there's two different types of friends here. 0:14:55.880 --> 0:14:58.520 I think Sema knew which type of friend Carrie was, 0:14:58.760 --> 0:15:02.080 and that's why she's smartly set a boundary, said I 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:03.720 don't want to do this, because she knew what it 0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:06.040 would turn into. Carrie's saying he won't be there all 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:08.880 the time, But Seeman knew what would happen if you 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:11.000 had a friend where you believed you're like, no, I 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:13.640 know how she is hill pop in and out, will 0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:19.160 see him sometimes. I just have always prioritized my friends. 0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:21.600 But that's not crazy. That's not a thing to laugh 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:24.400 at or make fun like. That's a good thing. That's 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:27.280 a very healthy thing to do. And I think for 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:29.920 some reason, if you go back to the question you 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:32.600 ask Kendall about the stigma that that is one of 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:35.720 those things of once I get married, once I have children, 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:38.440 even this is my new life and I have to 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:42.040 forsake all of what I had before, And that's not 0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:44.160 the case. In fact, you need to work harder and 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:47.560 foster the relationships that you had, keep those girlfriends, keep 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:51.200 those guy friends, and look there are boundaries. I'm painting 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:55.040 with a broadbrush, disappearing every weekend all weekend to go 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:57.560 get hammered and play golf. No, it's not what I'm 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:01.400 talking about. I'm just saying, foster those relationships because it's healthy. 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:04.720 Now. I do think there's an age thing here. I 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:07.680 do think when you're younger, you can really get swept 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:10.720 up in a relationship and you know you're so in 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:14.440 love and suddenly your borderline living together. And I probably 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:17.000 did that in my very early twenties. I'm talking maybe, 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.720 and I'm nineteen twenty twenty one, still in college. But 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:23.120 then I learned the lesson of prioritizing my friends and 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:25.200 learned that my friends were going to be the ones 0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:28.800 there with me through everything. Carrie in her early fifties. 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:31.440 I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if this character has 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:32.760 fully learned that lesson. 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:38.080 Sometimes I was basically a professional third wheel for almost 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:38.760 a decade. 0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:40.880 You know what, I wanted to ask you about this 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:45.000 because the truth is, and I almost feel weird admitting 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:48.440 this out loud, I have not had very long spans 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:51.080 in my life where I've been single, and I looking back, 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:53.600 I mean almost every time I got into a relationship. 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:56.160 I remember thinking to myself, I wish I could be 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:58.600 single longer. I actually want to be single longer, but 0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:01.360 I don't know just the way the timing has worked out. 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:04.040 I've sort of met somebody, and that's also a beautiful 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:06.879 thing I'm very grateful for, but I don't really know 0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:09.760 what it's like to long term third wheel it. 0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:11.520 How long were you? 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:13.800 I mean you were single for almost a decade. 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:16.199 Yeah, and look for first of all, I get what 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:19.480 you're saying, and we're not getting married for another few months. 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:21.880 If you want to date, just date around a little bit, 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:23.040 just to get it out of your system. 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:25.120 I'm not going to give up the fan guy. I'm 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:26.320 not going to give up the guy who picks the 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:28.320 perfect fan without even needing my help. 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:30.800 Our situations were very different, obviously, because I had been 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:34.880 married for what seventeen years, and so when I got 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:37.760 out of my marriage, I made a concerted effort to 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:40.879 be single and to not dive into something for a 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:43.480 couple of reasons. First and foremost, I wanted to reconnect 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:46.000 and really make sure my kids are okay. And I 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:49.440 just didn't want to concentrate or spend any energy anywhere else, 0:17:49.520 --> 0:17:51.360 and I knew I couldn't and I wouldn't be very 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:54.720 good at that unraveling my life hosting the show that 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:58.000 I was hosting all of the shows. It was a mess, 0:17:58.040 --> 0:17:59.879 and so I knew I was not going to be 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:01.680 good for anybody, and I was just going to stay 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:04.679 single and date a little bit. But that made me 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:08.440 a professional third wheel for all my married friends who 0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:13.359 have kids, and I was even This is the the 0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:17.000 pin ultimate moment is I was the twenty seventh wheel. 0:18:17.600 --> 0:18:22.160 There were thirteen couples on a huge birthday trip down 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:25.240 to Cabo for one of my dearest friends. She was 0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:27.360 nice enough, they were nice enough. This couple was still 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:31.600 nice enough to include me. And there were thirteen lovely 0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:36.879 couples and Chris Harrison, I was the twenty seventh wheel. 0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:40.240 It was awkward, it was weird, and I knew everybody there, 0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:43.080 so it was still friendly and everybody was nice to 0:18:43.119 --> 0:18:45.719 make me feel included. But it was a thing. It 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:48.359 was still a thing to be like, I'm alone here. 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:49.600 How did that feel? 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:55.439 It's intimidating. It's a lot to take in. You have to, really, 0:18:55.480 --> 0:18:57.360 I think one of the most powerful things in the world, 0:18:57.400 --> 0:19:00.639 and this is what I wanted to take from this podcast. 0:19:00.960 --> 0:19:04.119 It's the most powerful thing in the world, man or woman, 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:07.879