1 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:08,955 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,715 --> 00:00:35,275 Speaker 1: This is Countdown with Keith old Woman. The Jones Phone 3 00:00:35,915 --> 00:00:39,955 Speaker 1: told you so. Before a jury in Austin, Texas found 4 00:00:39,955 --> 00:00:43,475 Speaker 1: the Looney Tunes conspiracy theorist guilty of slandering the parents 5 00:00:43,515 --> 00:00:47,075 Speaker 1: of a Sandy Hook massacre victim. The family's lawyer confirmed 6 00:00:47,075 --> 00:00:49,835 Speaker 1: a Rolling Stone report that he has been asked by 7 00:00:49,835 --> 00:00:52,755 Speaker 1: the January six committee to give it the Jones phone, 8 00:00:53,035 --> 00:00:55,995 Speaker 1: and that he will do so quote immediately, and that 9 00:00:56,115 --> 00:01:01,915 Speaker 1: it includes quoting again intimate messages with Roger Stone. Well, 10 00:01:01,915 --> 00:01:06,995 Speaker 1: the court record please reflect that everybody, then said Jones 11 00:01:07,115 --> 00:01:10,195 Speaker 1: is cracked. Legal law team. No, it is not Bob 12 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:13,555 Speaker 1: Blah Law from Bob blah Blaw's law blog. It's f 13 00:01:13,755 --> 00:01:17,035 Speaker 1: and Dino Raynal. They tried to get the judge to 14 00:01:17,155 --> 00:01:19,915 Speaker 1: order all copies of the text on that phone, which 15 00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:23,595 Speaker 1: ray Now accidentally sent to Mark Bankston, destroyed, and the 16 00:01:23,595 --> 00:01:28,075 Speaker 1: phone itself erased or thrown from a great height over water. 17 00:01:28,835 --> 00:01:31,315 Speaker 1: The judge pointed out that ray Now and the Jones 18 00:01:31,435 --> 00:01:34,115 Speaker 1: team were the ones who screwed this up, then screwed 19 00:01:34,235 --> 00:01:36,795 Speaker 1: up the chance to correct it. The Jones team then 20 00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:40,635 Speaker 1: cried mistrial tried to invoke the Fourth Amendment, the Fifth Amendment, 21 00:01:40,675 --> 00:01:43,435 Speaker 1: the Sixth Amendment, the Fifth Dimension, the Treaty of Versailles, 22 00:01:43,475 --> 00:01:47,515 Speaker 1: and the Exxon Mobile merger agreement. The judge refused to 23 00:01:47,555 --> 00:01:50,755 Speaker 1: interfere with what Attorney Bankston referred to as being quote 24 00:01:51,075 --> 00:01:55,115 Speaker 1: under request from various federal agencies and law enforcement to 25 00:01:55,275 --> 00:02:00,355 Speaker 1: provide those Jones phone records absent a ruling from you, 26 00:02:00,515 --> 00:02:03,795 Speaker 1: he said, saying you cannot do that. I intend to 27 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:07,195 Speaker 1: do so. In the neatly following this hearing then came 28 00:02:07,235 --> 00:02:10,875 Speaker 1: the guilty verdict and a finding of financial damages against Jones. 29 00:02:11,115 --> 00:02:14,275 Speaker 1: There may be further punitive damages added on later in 30 00:02:14,275 --> 00:02:17,235 Speaker 1: the day Friday, but for now, Alex Jones has to 31 00:02:17,275 --> 00:02:21,795 Speaker 1: pay four million, one hundred thousand dollars plus whatever it 32 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:26,395 Speaker 1: costs him for his new phone. In Thursday's episode, I 33 00:02:26,515 --> 00:02:29,675 Speaker 1: ran through the timeline of Jones's role, he says at 34 00:02:29,675 --> 00:02:33,675 Speaker 1: White House request as the hype man and the financial organizer, 35 00:02:33,835 --> 00:02:36,515 Speaker 1: and goodness knows what else of at least part of 36 00:02:36,555 --> 00:02:40,475 Speaker 1: Trump's coup attempt. The irony of him accidentally giving the 37 00:02:40,475 --> 00:02:45,595 Speaker 1: committee all of his texts cannot be overstated. After suing 38 00:02:45,675 --> 00:02:49,595 Speaker 1: to quash its subpoena. Jones finally testified to the House 39 00:02:49,595 --> 00:02:52,875 Speaker 1: panel in January and then told his audience that he 40 00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:56,875 Speaker 1: invoked his Fifth Amendment right against self incrimination nearly a 41 00:02:56,955 --> 00:03:00,995 Speaker 1: hundred times, and seven months later, he and his idiot 42 00:03:01,075 --> 00:03:05,915 Speaker 1: lawyer have managed to self incriminate countless time times. There 43 00:03:06,035 --> 00:03:09,315 Speaker 1: is another irony here. Jones makes his living by pushing 44 00:03:09,395 --> 00:03:13,755 Speaker 1: conspiracy theories on the gullible. Now his phone maybe the 45 00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:17,155 Speaker 1: key piece of evidence in finally revealing the full involvement 46 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,395 Speaker 1: of the worst president in the world in a real life, 47 00:03:20,515 --> 00:03:24,995 Speaker 1: actually happened conspiracy. Of course, there's a yin and yang 48 00:03:25,075 --> 00:03:27,755 Speaker 1: to the saga of the paper trail of the Trump Coup. 49 00:03:27,955 --> 00:03:31,635 Speaker 1: The government has just sued Peter Navarro, the really not 50 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,995 Speaker 1: bright former Trump adviser, for having refused to turn over 51 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:38,315 Speaker 1: his private email that he used for White House business. 52 00:03:38,315 --> 00:03:41,115 Speaker 1: In other words, they're suing him for doing what the 53 00:03:41,315 --> 00:03:45,515 Speaker 1: entire media establishment blew up into a perpetual two seven, 54 00:03:45,635 --> 00:03:49,675 Speaker 1: three sixty five headline about Hillary Clinton. Navarro is also 55 00:03:49,755 --> 00:03:53,115 Speaker 1: still facing charges of contempt of Congress for refusing to 56 00:03:53,115 --> 00:03:56,435 Speaker 1: testify to the one six Commission. On the other hand, 57 00:03:56,475 --> 00:04:00,235 Speaker 1: an unfathomable announcement from White House Press Secretary Karine Jean 58 00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:04,155 Speaker 1: Pierre on Thursday, the Secret Service deliberately wiped its phones 59 00:04:04,355 --> 00:04:07,875 Speaker 1: and destroyed all its agents text from January six and 60 00:04:08,035 --> 00:04:12,515 Speaker 1: Homeland Security. The services bosses wiped the phones of its 61 00:04:12,635 --> 00:04:16,315 Speaker 1: last Trump goons, Chad Wolf and Ken Couchnelly, the day 62 00:04:16,395 --> 00:04:20,355 Speaker 1: Joe Biden was inaugurated. Then the Inspector General of DHS, 63 00:04:20,475 --> 00:04:23,915 Speaker 1: Joseph Kirfari, who also has oversight of the Secret Service, 64 00:04:24,155 --> 00:04:28,355 Speaker 1: mysteriously ordered all efforts to get those January six records 65 00:04:28,475 --> 00:04:33,875 Speaker 1: and communications restored halted. Kufari was a Trump appointee, a 66 00:04:33,955 --> 00:04:37,075 Speaker 1: former advisor to Arizona's Jan Brewer, who might have been 67 00:04:37,115 --> 00:04:42,075 Speaker 1: America's first openly stupid state governor. Asked whether the President 68 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,435 Speaker 1: was going to intervene with or fire Kufari. The Press 69 00:04:45,475 --> 00:04:51,555 Speaker 1: secretary on Thursday replied quote no, unquote. Asked to follow up, 70 00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:55,915 Speaker 1: she added more and more astonishing context, quoting again, there's 71 00:04:55,955 --> 00:04:59,115 Speaker 1: no personnel updates that I have for you at this time. Look, 72 00:04:59,195 --> 00:05:01,995 Speaker 1: the President has been very clear that he believes in 73 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:05,355 Speaker 1: the independent role of the Inspector General and that they 74 00:05:05,395 --> 00:05:09,355 Speaker 1: serve an important function in ensuring accountability for the American people. 75 00:05:09,635 --> 00:05:13,995 Speaker 1: That still stands. He believes that it's important to do 76 00:05:14,075 --> 00:05:16,995 Speaker 1: the job that the inspector General is doing. We have 77 00:05:17,195 --> 00:05:22,475 Speaker 1: confidence in that end quote. This is stubbornness, bordering on 78 00:05:22,675 --> 00:05:25,315 Speaker 1: wholier than thou is m on the part of the President. 79 00:05:25,475 --> 00:05:29,075 Speaker 1: He has taken this stance on the inviolability of inspector's 80 00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:33,115 Speaker 1: general just because Trump fired four of them. Of course, 81 00:05:33,155 --> 00:05:37,675 Speaker 1: this cofarity guy only became an Inspector General because his predecessor, 82 00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:42,275 Speaker 1: John Roth criticized Trump's two thousand seventeen racist travel band, 83 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:46,635 Speaker 1: and Trump's goons forced him out of the administration. Nice principal, 84 00:05:46,635 --> 00:05:49,955 Speaker 1: President Biden, but you are on the wrong ethical side here. 85 00:05:50,155 --> 00:05:53,675 Speaker 1: We shouldn't have to go and say, hire Alex Jones attorney, 86 00:05:53,755 --> 00:05:56,795 Speaker 1: good old f and Dino so he can screw something 87 00:05:56,795 --> 00:06:00,715 Speaker 1: else up and accidentally send up the missing Secret Service texts. 88 00:06:01,315 --> 00:06:04,155 Speaker 1: The least you can do is fire the guy involved 89 00:06:04,195 --> 00:06:07,155 Speaker 1: in the via Trump cover up, who is still in 90 00:06:07,195 --> 00:06:12,035 Speaker 1: a position to continue the obvious Trump cover up. There 91 00:06:12,155 --> 00:06:15,875 Speaker 1: is a last Trump point right now, coincidental in its 92 00:06:15,915 --> 00:06:20,555 Speaker 1: timing but amazing in its content. Liz Cheney unlikely to 93 00:06:20,635 --> 00:06:24,315 Speaker 1: fend off a Trump is plant challenging her House renomination 94 00:06:24,395 --> 00:06:27,395 Speaker 1: back home in Wyoming, has now released a two minute 95 00:06:27,435 --> 00:06:33,075 Speaker 1: statement of support from her father, Shotgun Dick Cheney in 96 00:06:33,115 --> 00:06:36,195 Speaker 1: our Nation's jointer at forty six year history, there has 97 00:06:36,235 --> 00:06:38,475 Speaker 1: never been an individual who is a greater threat to 98 00:06:38,555 --> 00:06:42,035 Speaker 1: our Republic than Donald Trump, says the former Vice president, 99 00:06:42,315 --> 00:06:45,435 Speaker 1: his cowboy hat obscuring our view of the birch trees 100 00:06:45,515 --> 00:06:49,275 Speaker 1: behind him, quoting again, he tried to steal the last election, 101 00:06:49,395 --> 00:06:52,195 Speaker 1: using lies and violence to keep himself in power, and 102 00:06:52,235 --> 00:06:55,715 Speaker 1: after the voters had rejected him. He is a coward. 103 00:06:55,995 --> 00:06:58,795 Speaker 1: A real man wouldn't lie to his supporters. He lost 104 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,515 Speaker 1: his election, and he lost big. I know it. You 105 00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,875 Speaker 1: know it isn't deep down I think most Republicans not. 106 00:07:04,995 --> 00:07:08,115 Speaker 1: If you were unfamiliar with my history with Dick Cheney, 107 00:07:08,355 --> 00:07:12,515 Speaker 1: he has spent his life publicly ignoring his critics. Yet 108 00:07:12,555 --> 00:07:15,755 Speaker 1: on April two thousand and eight, at the Radio and 109 00:07:15,795 --> 00:07:20,275 Speaker 1: TV Correspondence Dinner in Washington, Dick Cheney turned to The 110 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:24,195 Speaker 1: Evenings comedian my friend, the former Daily Show correspondent Morocca, 111 00:07:24,515 --> 00:07:27,675 Speaker 1: and said, Moe used to host a TV show called 112 00:07:28,075 --> 00:07:32,035 Speaker 1: Things I Hate About You. I'm sure I've seen that program. 113 00:07:32,155 --> 00:07:36,235 Speaker 1: Only I believe it's now called Countdown with Keith Alderman. 114 00:07:37,275 --> 00:07:39,755 Speaker 1: So in light of that, I don't know which of 115 00:07:39,795 --> 00:07:42,475 Speaker 1: us should be more terrified by my next statement, but 116 00:07:42,555 --> 00:07:56,155 Speaker 1: here it goes. I am in complete agreement with Dick Cheney. 117 00:07:57,435 --> 00:08:00,235 Speaker 1: Still ahead. On the weekend edition of Countdown, Green Bay 118 00:08:00,315 --> 00:08:03,555 Speaker 1: quarterback Aaron Rodgers won't get the vaccine, but he will 119 00:08:03,595 --> 00:08:07,075 Speaker 1: take a hallucinogen drug that makes you see robot elves 120 00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:11,115 Speaker 1: among the latest worst persons in the world me. We 121 00:08:11,195 --> 00:08:12,915 Speaker 1: used to do this on TV. We're gonna do it 122 00:08:12,955 --> 00:08:16,035 Speaker 1: here Fridays with James Thurber, including a box to hide 123 00:08:16,035 --> 00:08:19,235 Speaker 1: in at in postscripts to the news and extraordinary story 124 00:08:19,315 --> 00:08:22,075 Speaker 1: of love and loss on the most cynical block in 125 00:08:22,115 --> 00:08:26,515 Speaker 1: the most cynical city in America, Washington says goodbye to 126 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:45,195 Speaker 1: It's good morning man. That's next. This is Countdown. Just ahead. Here, 127 00:08:45,235 --> 00:08:49,395 Speaker 1: a star NFL quarterback and vaccination fraud sto admits boasts 128 00:08:49,435 --> 00:08:54,555 Speaker 1: even that he recently took hallucinogenic drugs and briefly felt 129 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:59,035 Speaker 1: myself muge with the ocean. Also the amazing story of 130 00:08:59,115 --> 00:09:02,115 Speaker 1: Washington's Good Morning Man, And for the first time in 131 00:09:02,115 --> 00:09:06,395 Speaker 1: this series, I'll read you some James there her. But first, 132 00:09:06,395 --> 00:09:08,715 Speaker 1: in each edition of Countdown, we feature a dog in 133 00:09:08,835 --> 00:09:12,755 Speaker 1: need whom you can help. Every dog has its day today. 134 00:09:12,835 --> 00:09:15,355 Speaker 1: Let us go out to the South l A Animal 135 00:09:15,395 --> 00:09:18,995 Speaker 1: Shelter and West sixtieth in Los Angeles and Wally. Wally 136 00:09:19,075 --> 00:09:23,675 Speaker 1: is sixty one pounds, some sort of maybe Golden Retriever mix, 137 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,435 Speaker 1: shiny coat and now he's thirteen years old. He is 138 00:09:26,475 --> 00:09:28,955 Speaker 1: bright eyed, bushy tailed, loves everybody and is looking for 139 00:09:28,995 --> 00:09:32,875 Speaker 1: a new forever home. Or there is a rescue willing 140 00:09:32,915 --> 00:09:35,155 Speaker 1: to do the heavy lifting here if you will commit 141 00:09:35,435 --> 00:09:38,275 Speaker 1: just to be his foster while he is in good health. 142 00:09:38,355 --> 00:09:40,715 Speaker 1: Was surrendered only because his humans were forced out of 143 00:09:40,715 --> 00:09:43,795 Speaker 1: their home. You can see Wally. That's Wally spelled w 144 00:09:43,995 --> 00:09:46,435 Speaker 1: O l l i E like Willie but with an oh. 145 00:09:46,835 --> 00:09:48,675 Speaker 1: You can see all of our subjects at my Twitter 146 00:09:48,715 --> 00:09:51,995 Speaker 1: account for pups in trouble, that's at tom Jumbo Grumbo. 147 00:09:52,355 --> 00:09:55,795 Speaker 1: There's a video of Wally. Their links phone numbers. Look 148 00:09:55,835 --> 00:09:58,155 Speaker 1: for Whally at the South l A Animal Shelter at 149 00:09:58,195 --> 00:10:01,355 Speaker 1: at Tom Jumbo Grumbo on Twitter. Thank you for that. 150 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:04,795 Speaker 1: And having recently adopted a fifteen year old Maltese who 151 00:10:04,875 --> 00:10:08,475 Speaker 1: had outlived his human I can tell you senior dogs 152 00:10:08,555 --> 00:10:11,195 Speaker 1: are as wonderful as puppies, but they know that you 153 00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:13,635 Speaker 1: have done them as slid and they will tell you 154 00:10:13,675 --> 00:10:16,195 Speaker 1: that they know. Give Wally a look. Please thank you. 155 00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:29,395 Speaker 1: Coming up on countdown, Aaron Rodgers admitted psychedelic drug user 156 00:10:29,955 --> 00:10:32,515 Speaker 1: worst persons in the world. Also in James Thurber's story 157 00:10:32,555 --> 00:10:35,275 Speaker 1: of Box to Hide in but first postscripts to the news, 158 00:10:35,755 --> 00:10:44,635 Speaker 1: some headlines, some thoughts, and some snark. Thank line Washington, hallelujah, 159 00:10:44,715 --> 00:10:48,075 Speaker 1: Princess Cinema of the Senate has given her royal consent 160 00:10:48,195 --> 00:10:52,315 Speaker 1: to the seven forty billion dollar Mansion Schumer compromise on 161 00:10:52,435 --> 00:10:56,395 Speaker 1: climate and inflation, and hallelujah, there is a vote Saturday. 162 00:10:56,435 --> 00:10:59,995 Speaker 1: They have removed the carried interest loophole issue that the 163 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,715 Speaker 1: corporations which own the Oh my god, when I put 164 00:11:02,715 --> 00:11:04,235 Speaker 1: her on TV, I didn't mean for you guys to 165 00:11:04,355 --> 00:11:07,755 Speaker 1: elect senator from Arizona, and they've substituted for it a 166 00:11:07,755 --> 00:11:11,835 Speaker 1: new excise tax on stock by backs. If now will 167 00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:16,395 Speaker 1: advance to the final authority, the unelected parliamentarian of the Senate, 168 00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:20,555 Speaker 1: Elizabeth McDonough. There was a photo taken of Senator Kirsten 169 00:11:20,635 --> 00:11:23,875 Speaker 1: Cinema yesterday in an elevator with Mitt Romney, and you 170 00:11:23,915 --> 00:11:26,515 Speaker 1: do not have to be a body language expert nor 171 00:11:26,675 --> 00:11:29,995 Speaker 1: somebody who used to date her to know that something really, 172 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:34,195 Speaker 1: really bad is going on inside her life. The expression 173 00:11:34,315 --> 00:11:37,755 Speaker 1: on her face is exactly the same as the one 174 00:11:37,915 --> 00:11:41,275 Speaker 1: Meryl Streep used when she was playing the Australian mother 175 00:11:41,635 --> 00:11:43,875 Speaker 1: in the movie A Cry in the Dark, when she 176 00:11:43,955 --> 00:11:49,515 Speaker 1: shouts a dingo at my baby Dateline Dallas, the keynote 177 00:11:49,555 --> 00:11:53,955 Speaker 1: first day speaker at the Fascist convention sepack Hungarian strongman 178 00:11:54,075 --> 00:11:56,835 Speaker 1: Victor Orban, the guy who looks like he has no 179 00:11:56,915 --> 00:12:00,275 Speaker 1: neck and who sounds like Dracula. He got a standing 180 00:12:00,275 --> 00:12:03,555 Speaker 1: ovation from the Republicans and other right wingers when he 181 00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:06,555 Speaker 1: said the glow bullists kind of all go to hell. 182 00:12:07,355 --> 00:12:10,715 Speaker 1: You never said who Hall was, but remember and fascists 183 00:12:10,755 --> 00:12:15,755 Speaker 1: speak here or in Hungary. The word globalist means Jewish people, 184 00:12:16,075 --> 00:12:21,555 Speaker 1: specifically George Sorrows V must take back the institutions in Washington. 185 00:12:21,715 --> 00:12:25,515 Speaker 1: He added the lead story on Orbon fun Boys, Tucker 186 00:12:25,595 --> 00:12:30,635 Speaker 1: Carlson's fashion fast on Fox Nudes quote, George Sorrows has 187 00:12:30,675 --> 00:12:34,675 Speaker 1: been creating chaos for decades. Guess what kind of people. 188 00:12:34,715 --> 00:12:39,395 Speaker 1: Tucker Carlson doesn't like dateline Pennsylvania. Wait, it's Memo Oz, 189 00:12:39,515 --> 00:12:43,355 Speaker 1: dateline New Jersey. If this wasn't about instituting idiocracy in 190 00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:46,275 Speaker 1: this country, you might think the campaign of TV quack 191 00:12:46,355 --> 00:12:49,315 Speaker 1: Memo OZ for the Pennsylvania Senate seat was actually just 192 00:12:49,355 --> 00:12:52,915 Speaker 1: one of those TV reality shows were only Oz knows 193 00:12:53,035 --> 00:12:57,715 Speaker 1: that he's screwing up this thing deliberately. The latest disaster 194 00:12:57,915 --> 00:13:01,595 Speaker 1: from his campaign so bad that Republican national organizations have 195 00:13:01,795 --> 00:13:07,075 Speaker 1: stopped sending him funds. Thursday, Oz tweeted, quote, Hey, Potas, 196 00:13:07,115 --> 00:13:10,395 Speaker 1: your messaging doesn't change the fact that inflation is worsening, 197 00:13:10,675 --> 00:13:13,915 Speaker 1: gas prices are rising. Stop avoiding the issue and do 198 00:13:14,075 --> 00:13:17,395 Speaker 1: something about it. As of today Friday, gas prices will 199 00:13:17,435 --> 00:13:21,355 Speaker 1: have dropped for fifty two days in a row. Guess 200 00:13:21,355 --> 00:13:24,035 Speaker 1: that news hasn't gotten to Pennsylvania, I mean New Jersey, 201 00:13:24,115 --> 00:13:28,395 Speaker 1: I mean Turkey State line. Tallahassee, Florida. Dictator Ron de 202 00:13:28,515 --> 00:13:31,835 Speaker 1: Santis has decided he has the authority to suspend the 203 00:13:31,915 --> 00:13:36,235 Speaker 1: elected state attorney in Hillsborough County because he will not 204 00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:39,915 Speaker 1: prosecute people for the dissantists ban on abortion and the 205 00:13:40,075 --> 00:13:44,475 Speaker 1: dissantist ban on transgender surgery. Again, de santis Is quote 206 00:13:44,515 --> 00:13:48,115 Speaker 1: about State Attorney Andrew Warren would be hilarious except for 207 00:13:48,155 --> 00:13:52,835 Speaker 1: that whole crazy dictatorship, fascism, lack of self awareness thing, 208 00:13:53,275 --> 00:13:56,475 Speaker 1: quoting the Mussolini of the Panhandle. It's not for him 209 00:13:56,515 --> 00:13:59,915 Speaker 1: to put himself above the law, adding Warren was acting 210 00:13:59,955 --> 00:14:02,875 Speaker 1: as if he had quote veto power over the state 211 00:14:02,955 --> 00:14:06,595 Speaker 1: legislature when everybody know is that in Florida. Only to Santis, 212 00:14:06,995 --> 00:14:09,995 Speaker 1: who has a pout factory where his conscience should be, 213 00:14:10,315 --> 00:14:12,635 Speaker 1: can put himself above the law and veto of the 214 00:14:12,675 --> 00:14:18,235 Speaker 1: state legislature and dateline Washington. Depending on your viewpoint, I 215 00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:22,435 Speaker 1: am either stealing this from or gratefully quoting Washington Post 216 00:14:22,475 --> 00:14:27,595 Speaker 1: columnist Fatula Devorak on this next story. Most of his life, 217 00:14:27,635 --> 00:14:31,435 Speaker 1: a man named Larry Tutt worked construction and cleaning in 218 00:14:31,475 --> 00:14:35,155 Speaker 1: the District of Columbia. He had battles with addictions, incarceration, 219 00:14:35,315 --> 00:14:38,675 Speaker 1: mental illness, But in two thousand nine, when he was 220 00:14:38,755 --> 00:14:42,115 Speaker 1: fifty four years old, Larry Tutt told his family he 221 00:14:42,195 --> 00:14:44,715 Speaker 1: had a new job that required him to go to 222 00:14:44,835 --> 00:14:48,635 Speaker 1: K Street every morning, the lobbying headquarters of the capital 223 00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:51,595 Speaker 1: of the world. Once described to me as the most 224 00:14:51,755 --> 00:14:56,395 Speaker 1: cynical neighborhood on the continent. One night, at a family gathering, 225 00:14:56,635 --> 00:14:59,075 Speaker 1: Larry told his sister Arlene that he had to leave 226 00:14:59,155 --> 00:15:02,675 Speaker 1: early because, quoting him, I have to go to get 227 00:15:02,715 --> 00:15:06,155 Speaker 1: to work in the morning. K Street needs me. She 228 00:15:06,275 --> 00:15:10,195 Speaker 1: eventually found out what this mysterious new job was. Larry 229 00:15:10,235 --> 00:15:13,395 Speaker 1: Tutt would arrive at the corner of K and fifteen Streets. 230 00:15:13,795 --> 00:15:18,475 Speaker 1: He'd be there by five am, rain or shine, winter 231 00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:21,755 Speaker 1: or summer. He would make sure his area with the 232 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:25,075 Speaker 1: newspaper boxes was clean and tidy, and he would set 233 00:15:25,155 --> 00:15:28,195 Speaker 1: up his folding chair and he would start doing his job. 234 00:15:28,955 --> 00:15:34,795 Speaker 1: His job was to say hello to passers by, to everybody. 235 00:15:34,955 --> 00:15:36,955 Speaker 1: I saw him there once he was near the Starbucks. 236 00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:40,595 Speaker 1: If Larry saw you twice, he would learn your name, 237 00:15:41,035 --> 00:15:43,635 Speaker 1: Notice when you had gotten a haircut, wonder if you 238 00:15:43,675 --> 00:15:46,395 Speaker 1: had gotten over your cold, asked why one of his 239 00:15:46,475 --> 00:15:49,715 Speaker 1: other regulars was late, and if his train might be delayed. 240 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:52,195 Speaker 1: He wasn't asking for money, He didn't have a schpiel. 241 00:15:52,235 --> 00:15:55,315 Speaker 1: He didn't even have a hat out for tips. His job, 242 00:15:55,875 --> 00:15:58,475 Speaker 1: and he later explained God told him to do this 243 00:15:58,955 --> 00:16:01,595 Speaker 1: was to make sure people stuck having to survive. The 244 00:16:01,635 --> 00:16:05,795 Speaker 1: soul deadening impact of working on K Street had somebody 245 00:16:05,835 --> 00:16:10,075 Speaker 1: who they knew who would just say good morning to them. 246 00:16:10,115 --> 00:16:14,715 Speaker 1: He was known in Washington simply as the good morning man. 247 00:16:15,555 --> 00:16:20,075 Speaker 1: Larry Tutt, columnist Dvorak reports, did this every day. A 248 00:16:20,195 --> 00:16:23,155 Speaker 1: truck jumped the curb and hit him. In two thousand thirteen, 249 00:16:23,155 --> 00:16:26,115 Speaker 1: he came right back. The pandemic emptied the streets in 250 00:16:26,995 --> 00:16:29,515 Speaker 1: as soon as the full lockdown ended, he came back. 251 00:16:30,195 --> 00:16:34,995 Speaker 1: Then on July he was hospitalized. Turned out Larry had 252 00:16:35,075 --> 00:16:37,835 Speaker 1: liver cancer, and he had not told his sister Arlene 253 00:16:37,995 --> 00:16:40,275 Speaker 1: or anybody else in the family. He was in the 254 00:16:40,275 --> 00:16:43,235 Speaker 1: hospital there but a few hours. When nurses found him packing, 255 00:16:43,835 --> 00:16:45,915 Speaker 1: he told them, I have to get back to work. 256 00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:49,115 Speaker 1: I have to get back to K Street. He didn't 257 00:16:49,115 --> 00:16:52,635 Speaker 1: get there. Larry Tutt died a week ago today, July 258 00:16:52,715 --> 00:16:56,475 Speaker 1: twenty nine. He was sixty seven years old. Earlier this week, 259 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:59,115 Speaker 1: his sister and some of his other relatives, who never 260 00:16:59,155 --> 00:17:02,355 Speaker 1: really had gotten what Larry was doing, went to his 261 00:17:02,435 --> 00:17:05,435 Speaker 1: corner early in the morning. They aped up a piece 262 00:17:05,435 --> 00:17:07,915 Speaker 1: of paper on the wall of one of the buildings there, 263 00:17:08,035 --> 00:17:10,795 Speaker 1: and they made some memorial t shirts just to let 264 00:17:10,835 --> 00:17:15,475 Speaker 1: people know that Larry was gone to Arlene Tutts. Shock 265 00:17:15,875 --> 00:17:21,395 Speaker 1: commuter after commuter stopped, read the sign, gasped, cried, consoled her, 266 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:25,235 Speaker 1: hugged her, were consoled by her, were hugged by her. 267 00:17:25,995 --> 00:17:28,715 Speaker 1: The kinds of people he talked to, she told the 268 00:17:28,755 --> 00:17:33,315 Speaker 1: Washington Post. Bicycle writers, lawyers, lobbyists, they all knew him. 269 00:17:33,355 --> 00:17:37,235 Speaker 1: How did Larry know all these people? That changed me? 270 00:17:37,435 --> 00:17:40,715 Speaker 1: She said, that gave me a different perspective on life. 271 00:17:40,715 --> 00:17:43,995 Speaker 1: On Larry. He did have a job all those years, 272 00:17:44,435 --> 00:17:47,235 Speaker 1: and he had a family over there. They started to 273 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,795 Speaker 1: go fund me to pay for Larry's funeral. They wanted 274 00:17:49,795 --> 00:17:52,915 Speaker 1: to raise fifty dollars. Last time I looked, they had 275 00:17:52,955 --> 00:17:56,955 Speaker 1: sixteen thousand. One of the places near Larry Tut's office 276 00:17:56,995 --> 00:18:01,035 Speaker 1: on fifteenth at K is the Catholic Information Center addressed 277 00:18:01,155 --> 00:18:06,595 Speaker 1: fifteen oh one K Street, Washington, one K Street in Washington, Northwest. 278 00:18:07,275 --> 00:18:09,795 Speaker 1: It will be holding a memorial mass for Larry tut 279 00:18:09,995 --> 00:18:15,355 Speaker 1: today Friday. Though the service will start at noon. I 280 00:18:15,435 --> 00:18:19,395 Speaker 1: don't think anybody will be saying hello or good afternoon. 281 00:18:20,315 --> 00:18:22,915 Speaker 1: I think to honor Larry, they will all simply say 282 00:18:22,915 --> 00:18:42,475 Speaker 1: to one another, good morning. This is SportsCenter. Wait, check 283 00:18:42,515 --> 00:18:50,435 Speaker 1: that not anymore This is countdown with Keith Alberman and 284 00:18:50,675 --> 00:18:53,355 Speaker 1: from the World of Wide Sports. Russia's decision to turn 285 00:18:53,515 --> 00:18:56,195 Speaker 1: w n B a star Brittney Grinder into a hostage 286 00:18:56,515 --> 00:18:59,075 Speaker 1: nine years in a penal colony for bringing in less 287 00:18:59,075 --> 00:19:02,035 Speaker 1: than one gram of cannabis oil that had been prescribed 288 00:19:02,115 --> 00:19:04,915 Speaker 1: to her here for chronic pain. It ray is his 289 00:19:05,075 --> 00:19:09,395 Speaker 1: endless diplomatic questions, but also it raises questions for sports 290 00:19:09,435 --> 00:19:14,035 Speaker 1: in this country, particularly one the National Hockey League. Why 291 00:19:14,395 --> 00:19:18,435 Speaker 1: now should this country continue to permit Alexander Ovechkin of 292 00:19:18,475 --> 00:19:22,035 Speaker 1: the Washington Capitals to work here and collect the remainder 293 00:19:22,115 --> 00:19:25,155 Speaker 1: of a five year, forty seven and a half million 294 00:19:25,155 --> 00:19:28,715 Speaker 1: dollar contract when he is a citizen of Putin's Russia. 295 00:19:29,315 --> 00:19:32,435 Speaker 1: We don't go arresting athletes in this country to hold 296 00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:37,355 Speaker 1: as political captives. We're not Russia, But why should Ovechkin 297 00:19:37,435 --> 00:19:40,955 Speaker 1: have a work permit here? He has done propaganda videos 298 00:19:40,955 --> 00:19:43,995 Speaker 1: for Vladimir Putin and purports to be his friend. He 299 00:19:44,035 --> 00:19:47,355 Speaker 1: has played hockey with and against Putin. This nation has 300 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:50,235 Speaker 1: sanctioned other rich friends of Putin who don't make their 301 00:19:50,275 --> 00:19:55,155 Speaker 1: fortunes off our dollars. Ovechkin's Instagram page is still topped 302 00:19:55,155 --> 00:19:59,835 Speaker 1: by a photo of him smiling standing next to Vladimir 303 00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:04,595 Speaker 1: Putin after the judicial kidnapping of American citizens like grind 304 00:20:04,835 --> 00:20:10,235 Speaker 1: and others by Russia. Why do we indulge a Putin apologist? 305 00:20:11,355 --> 00:20:13,275 Speaker 1: Nothing better to find out on the eve of your 306 00:20:13,355 --> 00:20:16,755 Speaker 1: NFL season that its quarterback of your favorite team has 307 00:20:16,755 --> 00:20:20,475 Speaker 1: been strung out on hallucinogenic drugs at least once. Aaron 308 00:20:20,555 --> 00:20:23,355 Speaker 1: Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers confessing that last year 309 00:20:23,395 --> 00:20:27,555 Speaker 1: he drank ayahuasca t which is full of the hallucinogen 310 00:20:27,715 --> 00:20:31,475 Speaker 1: d MT, a schedule one drug here in the good 311 00:20:31,515 --> 00:20:34,915 Speaker 1: old Us of A, claiming it allowed him to quote 312 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:39,355 Speaker 1: see how to Unconditionally Love Myself, and that it made 313 00:20:39,435 --> 00:20:45,155 Speaker 1: him felt myself merge with the ocean. Last season, Aaron 314 00:20:45,235 --> 00:20:47,915 Speaker 1: Rodgers misled the NFL and his team and the fans 315 00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:52,755 Speaker 1: about his vaccination status by claiming he had gotten immunity 316 00:20:52,795 --> 00:20:55,235 Speaker 1: from COVID, when actually all he had done was declare 317 00:20:55,315 --> 00:20:57,835 Speaker 1: himself a critical thinker who had done a lot of 318 00:20:57,875 --> 00:21:02,075 Speaker 1: study and had instead taken iver mectin and then declared 319 00:21:02,155 --> 00:21:05,435 Speaker 1: himself immune. And when he was caught, he declared himself 320 00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:08,715 Speaker 1: a victim of a witch hunt. He did his own research. 321 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,875 Speaker 1: In fact, Aaron Rodgers was the victim of the robot 322 00:21:12,955 --> 00:21:16,555 Speaker 1: elves that you apparently see when you're under the influence 323 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:26,715 Speaker 1: of d M T. Thank you, Nancy Faust. What is 324 00:21:26,755 --> 00:21:29,675 Speaker 1: the score boys? What did bugs Bunny do? Today? The 325 00:21:29,755 --> 00:21:33,915 Speaker 1: Los Angeles Angels have summarized their twenty year run of discontent. 326 00:21:34,395 --> 00:21:37,715 Speaker 1: They tied the major league records seven solo home runs 327 00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:41,675 Speaker 1: in one game two by two way star show Hey Otani, 328 00:21:42,475 --> 00:21:45,715 Speaker 1: and somehow managed to lose the game eight to seven 329 00:21:45,755 --> 00:21:49,475 Speaker 1: to Oakland. Seven home runs. You score seven runs, and 330 00:21:49,515 --> 00:21:54,155 Speaker 1: you lose. And injured Angels superstar Mike Trout, shelved with 331 00:21:54,315 --> 00:22:00,635 Speaker 1: rib cage inflammation, has just started quote rotational exercises and 332 00:22:00,795 --> 00:22:05,555 Speaker 1: is expected to return sometime before he's too old to 333 00:22:05,755 --> 00:22:18,395 Speaker 1: play baseball anymore. And baseball anti baxer wit Merrifield, who 334 00:22:18,435 --> 00:22:21,515 Speaker 1: said he would go against his goofball principles if he 335 00:22:21,555 --> 00:22:23,755 Speaker 1: were to be traded by Kansas City and have to 336 00:22:23,795 --> 00:22:26,635 Speaker 1: go to Canada to play a postseason game there, and 337 00:22:26,675 --> 00:22:30,395 Speaker 1: then he was actually traded to Toronto last night, claimed 338 00:22:30,475 --> 00:22:33,435 Speaker 1: he is quote vaccinated now and we'll be able to 339 00:22:33,475 --> 00:22:40,035 Speaker 1: play in Toronto next week. Vaccinated, fully vaccinated, four shots 340 00:22:40,035 --> 00:22:59,195 Speaker 1: in one day or is he Aaron Rodgers vaccinated? Still ahead? 341 00:22:59,195 --> 00:23:01,075 Speaker 1: It's the weekend edition of the show, and that means 342 00:23:01,115 --> 00:23:03,475 Speaker 1: instead of me reading you the crap I have written, 343 00:23:03,635 --> 00:23:05,435 Speaker 1: it is my privilege to read you some of the 344 00:23:05,475 --> 00:23:10,275 Speaker 1: timeless writings of America's greatest all around humorous James Thurber. First, 345 00:23:10,315 --> 00:23:13,275 Speaker 1: the daily roundup of the miscrants, morons, and Dunning Krueger 346 00:23:13,315 --> 00:23:18,755 Speaker 1: effects specimens or specimens who constitute today's where persons in 347 00:23:18,795 --> 00:23:25,955 Speaker 1: the world the bronze to me, and not just for mispronouncings. 348 00:23:26,355 --> 00:23:30,355 Speaker 1: I messed up twice yesterday. I did an inadvertent Brocavian 349 00:23:30,515 --> 00:23:34,395 Speaker 1: mumble through the word a little little mobible or liberal 350 00:23:34,635 --> 00:23:37,595 Speaker 1: in English, and I left room for a pickup and 351 00:23:37,795 --> 00:23:40,635 Speaker 1: edit after recording. Then I screwed it up in the 352 00:23:40,675 --> 00:23:43,075 Speaker 1: pickup as well, and I did it a third time, 353 00:23:43,115 --> 00:23:45,835 Speaker 1: but I only edited out the first of the two mistakes. 354 00:23:46,595 --> 00:23:49,675 Speaker 1: Somebody told me about this yesterday and I thought, well, 355 00:23:49,715 --> 00:23:51,795 Speaker 1: I'll just go back in and re edit the thing. 356 00:23:51,795 --> 00:23:54,475 Speaker 1: And then I listened to it. I sound wonderfully stupid, 357 00:23:54,715 --> 00:23:58,075 Speaker 1: so I just left it the way it was. I mean, 358 00:23:58,115 --> 00:24:00,515 Speaker 1: if I was worried about sounding wonderfully stupid. I've never 359 00:24:00,595 --> 00:24:03,715 Speaker 1: gone into this stupid business. Forty three years ago. It 360 00:24:03,835 --> 00:24:06,675 Speaker 1: is about the thirty five minute mark while he did 361 00:24:06,715 --> 00:24:08,235 Speaker 1: all this. If you want to go back and listen 362 00:24:08,275 --> 00:24:10,035 Speaker 1: to it and Thursday's show, think of it as an 363 00:24:10,075 --> 00:24:14,595 Speaker 1: easter egg. But also after Alex Jones's day in court 364 00:24:14,635 --> 00:24:18,115 Speaker 1: from Hell, I addressed Thursday about how bowling ball had 365 00:24:18,235 --> 00:24:22,955 Speaker 1: Joe Rogan defended him, and I transposed who had complimented who. 366 00:24:23,355 --> 00:24:26,475 Speaker 1: It came out as if Rogan had said there's entertainment 367 00:24:26,555 --> 00:24:30,235 Speaker 1: value to what Rogan does. Of course Rogan actually said 368 00:24:30,515 --> 00:24:34,555 Speaker 1: there's entertainment value to what Jones does. Either way, of course, 369 00:24:35,715 --> 00:24:37,915 Speaker 1: there's no entertainment value to what either of them does. 370 00:24:38,075 --> 00:24:41,475 Speaker 1: They spread lies, disinformation, propaganda, and paranoia, and they take 371 00:24:41,515 --> 00:24:46,155 Speaker 1: advantage of the psychologically troubled. Our runners up a tie 372 00:24:46,275 --> 00:24:50,075 Speaker 1: Karen Engelman and J. Michael Davidson from the Indiana State 373 00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:53,955 Speaker 1: House of Representatives. Engelman has introduced an amendment to an 374 00:24:53,955 --> 00:24:58,795 Speaker 1: anti abortion bill that would eliminate exceptions for rape and incest, 375 00:24:59,275 --> 00:25:01,955 Speaker 1: and when asked if that means the raped fifth grader, 376 00:25:02,075 --> 00:25:04,355 Speaker 1: a ten year old, has to carry and deliver a 377 00:25:04,435 --> 00:25:07,315 Speaker 1: child fild, she says yes, it does because it would 378 00:25:07,315 --> 00:25:11,275 Speaker 1: be quote harmful to put a minor in position of 379 00:25:11,315 --> 00:25:15,475 Speaker 1: being the new Jane Rowe. Ten year old mother would 380 00:25:15,515 --> 00:25:20,115 Speaker 1: not cause her harm, but being the new Jane Rowe would. Meanwhile, 381 00:25:20,155 --> 00:25:23,155 Speaker 1: Representative Davison was then asked what he would tell children 382 00:25:23,195 --> 00:25:25,075 Speaker 1: of a mother who had been forced to go through 383 00:25:25,115 --> 00:25:28,395 Speaker 1: pregnancy that resulted in still birth. His reply to that, 384 00:25:29,155 --> 00:25:32,275 Speaker 1: I don't think any of us are guaranteed tomorrow. All 385 00:25:32,315 --> 00:25:35,715 Speaker 1: of us must accept death and put faith in our 386 00:25:35,795 --> 00:25:41,395 Speaker 1: creator and your proof about this creator, guy, sir, I mean, 387 00:25:41,435 --> 00:25:44,795 Speaker 1: if you want to believe that, have fun. I'll defend 388 00:25:44,835 --> 00:25:47,075 Speaker 1: your right to believe that. But don't go making our 389 00:25:47,355 --> 00:25:51,355 Speaker 1: laws based on made up crap in a made up book. 390 00:25:52,155 --> 00:25:55,995 Speaker 1: But our winner, speaking of made up crap, Sarah Palin 391 00:25:56,595 --> 00:25:59,995 Speaker 1: she's back and badder than ever and running for Alaska's 392 00:26:00,115 --> 00:26:03,915 Speaker 1: only seat in the House. She was interviewed on stage 393 00:26:03,955 --> 00:26:05,995 Speaker 1: at Sea Path back in Dallas. And that's see pack 394 00:26:06,075 --> 00:26:10,155 Speaker 1: and that's see pap she said, quote It's like Lincoln said, 395 00:26:10,755 --> 00:26:13,635 Speaker 1: We're not going to be destroyed from foreign forces coming 396 00:26:13,635 --> 00:26:16,635 Speaker 1: on in. It's gonna be from within. If we allow 397 00:26:16,795 --> 00:26:20,875 Speaker 1: things that are so anti constitutional um to um to 398 00:26:20,995 --> 00:26:25,915 Speaker 1: be able to usurp for instance, the balance of power unquote. 399 00:26:26,755 --> 00:26:29,395 Speaker 1: You know that's one of my favorite Lincoln quotes. Foreign 400 00:26:29,475 --> 00:26:34,355 Speaker 1: forces coming on in things are so anti constitutional. Um 401 00:26:34,355 --> 00:26:39,435 Speaker 1: to um. That's in the Gettysburg address, right, Sarah, Sarah Palin. 402 00:26:40,195 --> 00:26:46,355 Speaker 1: That woman is still an idiot, Today's worst person in 403 00:26:46,475 --> 00:27:07,555 Speaker 1: the Word Monday through Thursday. Here the number one story 404 00:27:07,555 --> 00:27:10,235 Speaker 1: in the countdown has been and will be tales of 405 00:27:10,315 --> 00:27:14,315 Speaker 1: horror and nonsense from my career next week alone, how 406 00:27:14,315 --> 00:27:16,675 Speaker 1: I broke the biggest story of my life by doing 407 00:27:16,755 --> 00:27:20,195 Speaker 1: absolutely nothing, no reporting. I don't even think I got 408 00:27:20,235 --> 00:27:23,875 Speaker 1: up from my desk. And also the day the president 409 00:27:23,915 --> 00:27:27,515 Speaker 1: of MSNBC chased me around the studios in Caucus, New Jersey, 410 00:27:27,635 --> 00:27:31,915 Speaker 1: threatening to kill me. But for each of these Friday 411 00:27:31,995 --> 00:27:34,275 Speaker 1: Slash weekend editions, I want to do what we did 412 00:27:34,275 --> 00:27:36,395 Speaker 1: on the TV show. It was amazing then and it 413 00:27:36,515 --> 00:27:38,835 Speaker 1: is amazing now. When I would wrap up the Friday 414 00:27:38,915 --> 00:27:41,715 Speaker 1: Night Countdown by reading five or six minutes worth of 415 00:27:41,755 --> 00:27:45,275 Speaker 1: the work of the legendary American humorist and cartoonist James Thurber, 416 00:27:45,795 --> 00:27:49,875 Speaker 1: that quarter hour would get the highest rating MSNBC got 417 00:27:49,915 --> 00:27:54,915 Speaker 1: all day, sometimes all week, reading Thurber aloud began for 418 00:27:54,955 --> 00:27:57,275 Speaker 1: me when I saw it done on PBS television when 419 00:27:57,275 --> 00:28:00,435 Speaker 1: I was about eighteen by the great actor William Wyndham, 420 00:28:00,475 --> 00:28:03,355 Speaker 1: who had a one man Thurber stage show, and who 421 00:28:03,355 --> 00:28:05,595 Speaker 1: had started when I was a kid in a TV 422 00:28:05,755 --> 00:28:10,155 Speaker 1: sitcom inspired by Thurber's stories and drawings. Eventually he would 423 00:28:10,155 --> 00:28:12,715 Speaker 1: see me do a pale imitation of him, and he 424 00:28:12,755 --> 00:28:16,235 Speaker 1: graciously reached out to compare notes and offer a few tips, 425 00:28:16,755 --> 00:28:19,195 Speaker 1: and to try to figure out a very vexing short 426 00:28:19,235 --> 00:28:21,795 Speaker 1: story that really couldn't be read aloud in public anymore. 427 00:28:22,275 --> 00:28:24,675 Speaker 1: I'll tell you that story or about that story at 428 00:28:24,755 --> 00:28:29,355 Speaker 1: some future time. But reading James Thurber allowed really connects 429 00:28:29,395 --> 00:28:32,875 Speaker 1: me most to my late father. His last illness saw 430 00:28:32,955 --> 00:28:36,955 Speaker 1: him hospitalized for seven months. I was fortunate enough to 431 00:28:36,995 --> 00:28:38,955 Speaker 1: be near enough to him that I could usually see 432 00:28:39,035 --> 00:28:41,515 Speaker 1: him twice a day, And as he had read to 433 00:28:41,595 --> 00:28:44,355 Speaker 1: me at night when I was very young, I read 434 00:28:44,395 --> 00:28:47,235 Speaker 1: to him at night when he was very old. Lots 435 00:28:47,235 --> 00:28:49,155 Speaker 1: of books, lots of stories, but there was nothing he 436 00:28:49,235 --> 00:28:53,195 Speaker 1: liked better than James Thurber. He suggested, in fact, that 437 00:28:53,275 --> 00:28:55,355 Speaker 1: I should read some on TV. And I thought he 438 00:28:55,395 --> 00:28:58,715 Speaker 1: was crazy, and the ratings proved he was as usual 439 00:28:59,355 --> 00:29:03,075 Speaker 1: right My favorite Thurber's short story was from the first 440 00:29:03,155 --> 00:29:05,595 Speaker 1: time I heard William Wyndham recte at it through the 441 00:29:05,675 --> 00:29:07,475 Speaker 1: last time I read it to my dad through the 442 00:29:07,515 --> 00:29:10,635 Speaker 1: audio book. I recorded the James Thurbert audio collection, which 443 00:29:10,635 --> 00:29:13,075 Speaker 1: you can still get on iTunes. To this very moment, 444 00:29:13,115 --> 00:29:16,875 Speaker 1: as I opened the book to read it, that very 445 00:29:16,915 --> 00:29:22,115 Speaker 1: favorite story remains A Box to Hide In by James Thurbert. 446 00:29:24,275 --> 00:29:28,235 Speaker 1: I waited till the large woman with the awful hat 447 00:29:28,715 --> 00:29:31,595 Speaker 1: took up her sack of groceries and went out, peering 448 00:29:31,635 --> 00:29:35,155 Speaker 1: at the tomatoes and lettuce on her way. The clerk 449 00:29:35,355 --> 00:29:38,875 Speaker 1: asked me what mine was. Have you got a box? 450 00:29:39,195 --> 00:29:41,075 Speaker 1: I asked, A large box. I want a box to 451 00:29:41,155 --> 00:29:45,355 Speaker 1: hide in. You want a box, he asked, I want 452 00:29:45,355 --> 00:29:48,195 Speaker 1: a box to hide in. I said, what do you mean? 453 00:29:48,435 --> 00:29:51,035 Speaker 1: He said, you mean a big box. I said, I 454 00:29:51,075 --> 00:29:54,315 Speaker 1: meant a big box big enough to hold me. Now, 455 00:29:54,355 --> 00:29:57,355 Speaker 1: I haven't got any boxes, he said, only cottons that 456 00:29:57,475 --> 00:30:01,115 Speaker 1: cans come in. I tried several other groceries and none 457 00:30:01,115 --> 00:30:02,675 Speaker 1: of them had a box big enough for me to 458 00:30:02,755 --> 00:30:06,235 Speaker 1: hide in. There was nothing for it but to face 459 00:30:06,435 --> 00:30:10,995 Speaker 1: life out. I didn't feel strong, and I'd had this 460 00:30:11,235 --> 00:30:15,115 Speaker 1: overpowering desire to hide in the box for a long time. 461 00:30:16,675 --> 00:30:19,395 Speaker 1: Any man, you want to hide in this box? One 462 00:30:19,395 --> 00:30:23,795 Speaker 1: grocer asked me, it's a form of escape. I told him, 463 00:30:23,875 --> 00:30:28,195 Speaker 1: hiding in a box. It circumscribes your worries and the 464 00:30:28,355 --> 00:30:34,595 Speaker 1: range of your anguish. You don't see people either. How 465 00:30:34,635 --> 00:30:36,315 Speaker 1: in the hell do you eat when you're in this box, 466 00:30:36,795 --> 00:30:38,515 Speaker 1: asked the grocer. How on the hell do you get 467 00:30:38,515 --> 00:30:41,355 Speaker 1: anything to eat? I said I had never been in 468 00:30:41,395 --> 00:30:44,115 Speaker 1: a box and didn't know, but that that would take 469 00:30:44,115 --> 00:30:46,995 Speaker 1: care of itself. Well, he said, finally, I have got 470 00:30:47,035 --> 00:30:50,555 Speaker 1: any boxes, only some pasteboard cartners that cans come in. 471 00:30:51,595 --> 00:30:54,875 Speaker 1: It was the same every place. I gave up when 472 00:30:54,915 --> 00:30:58,435 Speaker 1: it got dark and the groceries closed, and hid in 473 00:30:58,515 --> 00:31:01,115 Speaker 1: my room again. I turned out the light and lay 474 00:31:01,155 --> 00:31:04,235 Speaker 1: on the bed. You feel better when it gets dark. 475 00:31:05,075 --> 00:31:07,635 Speaker 1: I could have hit in the closet, I suppose, but 476 00:31:07,915 --> 00:31:13,195 Speaker 1: people are always opening doors. Somebody would find you in 477 00:31:13,195 --> 00:31:15,235 Speaker 1: a closet. It would be startled, and you have to 478 00:31:15,235 --> 00:31:17,715 Speaker 1: tell them why you were in the closet. Nobody pays 479 00:31:17,715 --> 00:31:21,035 Speaker 1: any attention to a big box lying on the floor. 480 00:31:21,195 --> 00:31:25,315 Speaker 1: You could stay in it for days and nobody'd think 481 00:31:25,435 --> 00:31:30,995 Speaker 1: to look in it. Not even the cleaning woman. My 482 00:31:31,155 --> 00:31:34,235 Speaker 1: cleaning woman came the next morning and woke me up, 483 00:31:34,395 --> 00:31:37,155 Speaker 1: and I was still feeling bad. I asked her if 484 00:31:37,155 --> 00:31:40,755 Speaker 1: she knew where I could get a large box. How 485 00:31:40,835 --> 00:31:44,755 Speaker 1: big of box you want? She asked, I want to 486 00:31:44,835 --> 00:31:47,835 Speaker 1: box big enough for me to get inside of. I said. 487 00:31:48,995 --> 00:31:52,635 Speaker 1: She looked at me with big tim eyes. There's something 488 00:31:52,755 --> 00:31:56,795 Speaker 1: wrong with her glands. She's awful, but she has a 489 00:31:56,835 --> 00:32:02,755 Speaker 1: big heart, which makes it worse. She's unbearable. Her husband 490 00:32:02,835 --> 00:32:05,995 Speaker 1: is sick, and her children are sick, and she's sick too. 491 00:32:06,795 --> 00:32:08,755 Speaker 1: I got to thinking how pleasant it would be if 492 00:32:08,795 --> 00:32:11,075 Speaker 1: I were in a box now and didn't have to 493 00:32:11,155 --> 00:32:13,395 Speaker 1: see her. I would be in a box right there 494 00:32:13,395 --> 00:32:16,835 Speaker 1: in the room. She wouldn't know. I wondered, if you 495 00:32:16,875 --> 00:32:20,675 Speaker 1: have a desire to bark or laugh when someone who 496 00:32:20,755 --> 00:32:26,515 Speaker 1: doesn't know walks by the box you're in, maybe she 497 00:32:26,555 --> 00:32:29,155 Speaker 1: would have a spell with her heart. If I did 498 00:32:29,195 --> 00:32:33,595 Speaker 1: that would die right there. The officers and the elevator 499 00:32:33,675 --> 00:32:37,355 Speaker 1: man and Mr Grammage would find us funny. Dog on 500 00:32:37,515 --> 00:32:40,435 Speaker 1: thing happened at the building last night, The doorman would 501 00:32:40,435 --> 00:32:42,275 Speaker 1: say to his wife, I let in this woman to 502 00:32:42,355 --> 00:32:44,915 Speaker 1: clean up ten f she hamp to come out. See, 503 00:32:45,235 --> 00:32:48,675 Speaker 1: she's never in there more now, she never came out. See. 504 00:32:49,275 --> 00:32:50,955 Speaker 1: So when it got to beat time for me to 505 00:32:50,995 --> 00:32:53,155 Speaker 1: go off duty, why, I says to Cronic, who was 506 00:32:53,195 --> 00:32:55,595 Speaker 1: on the elevator. I says, what the hell you suppose 507 00:32:55,675 --> 00:32:58,675 Speaker 1: has happened to that woman cleans ten f? He says 508 00:32:58,715 --> 00:33:00,515 Speaker 1: he didn't know. He says he never seen her after 509 00:33:00,555 --> 00:33:03,395 Speaker 1: he took her up. So I spoke to Mr Grammage 510 00:33:03,395 --> 00:33:06,355 Speaker 1: about it. I'm sorry, right up bother you, Miss Grammage, 511 00:33:06,355 --> 00:33:09,555 Speaker 1: I says, but there's something funny, but that woman cleans 512 00:33:09,635 --> 00:33:13,235 Speaker 1: ten f. So I told him so he said, we 513 00:33:13,355 --> 00:33:15,795 Speaker 1: better have a look. We all three goes up, knocks 514 00:33:15,835 --> 00:33:19,195 Speaker 1: on the door and rings the bell, see, and nobody answers. 515 00:33:19,235 --> 00:33:21,555 Speaker 1: So he said we'd have to walk in. So Crantic 516 00:33:21,675 --> 00:33:23,715 Speaker 1: opened the door and we walked in, and here was 517 00:33:23,755 --> 00:33:26,835 Speaker 1: this woman cleans the apartment, dead as a herring on 518 00:33:26,915 --> 00:33:30,875 Speaker 1: the floor, and the gentleman that lives there was in 519 00:33:30,915 --> 00:33:37,035 Speaker 1: this box. The cleaning woman kept looking at me. It 520 00:33:37,115 --> 00:33:41,875 Speaker 1: was hard to realize she wasn't dead. It's a form 521 00:33:41,955 --> 00:33:48,075 Speaker 1: of escape, I murmured. Let's say. She asked, Dully, you 522 00:33:48,115 --> 00:33:51,875 Speaker 1: don't know of any large packing boxes, do you? I asked, 523 00:33:53,675 --> 00:33:58,075 Speaker 1: now I don't, She said, I haven't found one yet. 524 00:33:58,475 --> 00:34:04,395 Speaker 1: But I still have this overpowering urge tied in a box. 525 00:34:05,795 --> 00:34:09,275 Speaker 1: Maybe it'll go away, Maybe I'll be all right, Maybe 526 00:34:09,315 --> 00:34:15,755 Speaker 1: it will get worse. It's hard to say. A box 527 00:34:15,835 --> 00:34:24,435 Speaker 1: to hide in. By James Thurber, closing the Thurber Book 528 00:34:24,675 --> 00:34:28,395 Speaker 1: for another week. I've done all the damage I can 529 00:34:28,395 --> 00:34:31,995 Speaker 1: do here. The Countdown theme from Beethoven's Ninth arranged, produced 530 00:34:32,035 --> 00:34:35,475 Speaker 1: and performed by Countdown musical directors Brian Ray and John 531 00:34:35,475 --> 00:34:39,955 Speaker 1: Philip Chanelle. Orchestration and keyboards by John Philip Chanelle. Guitars, 532 00:34:40,035 --> 00:34:43,435 Speaker 1: bass and drums by Brian Ray. Produced by T K O. 533 00:34:43,515 --> 00:34:45,675 Speaker 1: Brother's something I want to do from time to time. Also, 534 00:34:46,395 --> 00:34:48,475 Speaker 1: let you hear some of the show music without me 535 00:34:48,595 --> 00:34:51,675 Speaker 1: talking over it. Brian Raise a great guitarist. He's in 536 00:34:51,675 --> 00:34:54,355 Speaker 1: Paul McCartney's band. He did a great job on the Beethoven. 537 00:34:54,555 --> 00:34:56,395 Speaker 1: So after I shut up here, I'm gonna play this 538 00:34:56,555 --> 00:35:01,275 Speaker 1: entire version of it uninterrupted. The other Beethoven selections like 539 00:35:01,355 --> 00:35:04,675 Speaker 1: this one have been performed by the group No Horns 540 00:35:04,715 --> 00:35:09,955 Speaker 1: Allowed our Sports Music. The Olberman theme, written by Mitch 541 00:35:10,035 --> 00:35:15,035 Speaker 1: Warren Davis, is courtesy of ESPN Inc musical comments by 542 00:35:15,155 --> 00:35:17,915 Speaker 1: Nancy Faust, who was, of course, the best baseball stadium 543 00:35:18,035 --> 00:35:22,275 Speaker 1: organist ever. Our announcer today from Breaking Bad and Better 544 00:35:22,315 --> 00:35:27,595 Speaker 1: call Saul, my friend Jonathan Banks. Everything else is my fault. 545 00:35:28,315 --> 00:35:31,315 Speaker 1: And that's countdown for this the seventy six day since 546 00:35:31,355 --> 00:35:34,915 Speaker 1: Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected government 547 00:35:34,915 --> 00:35:38,595 Speaker 1: of the United States. I'm Keith Olberman. Good morning, good afternoon, 548 00:35:39,115 --> 00:35:45,395 Speaker 1: good night, and good luck. And now here are Brian 549 00:35:45,475 --> 00:35:49,635 Speaker 1: Ray and John Philip Schanale with the love song from 550 00:35:49,675 --> 00:37:07,955 Speaker 1: the countdown podcast. M Countdown with Keith al Reman is 551 00:37:07,995 --> 00:37:11,555 Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from 552 00:37:11,595 --> 00:37:15,275 Speaker 1: I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 553 00:37:15,515 --> 00:37:17,515 Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.