1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning. 2 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:16,320 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,400 Speaker 1: episode is going to be a slightly longer one, but 4 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 1: rather than interviewing someone else as I do usually once 5 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 1: a week, I am going to be talking about goals 6 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: and how to set them and how to structure their 7 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: pursuit so they actually happen. I know a lot of 8 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 1: people set goals around this time of year, often framed 9 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:42,519 Speaker 1: as New Year's resolutions. There is something about the fresh 10 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 1: start energy of a new year that makes people think 11 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: they can do new and exciting things. However, I know 12 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:55,000 Speaker 1: there is also a reasonable amount of cynicism about New 13 00:00:55,040 --> 00:01:00,520 Speaker 1: Year's resolutions. I read a statistics somewhere that one percent 14 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: of them fail. Now I don't know if that is 15 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: true or not, probably because sometimes these goals are so 16 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 1: vague that I am not sure you'd even know if 17 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:15,040 Speaker 1: someone had succeeded. What does it mean to get in 18 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:19,400 Speaker 1: shape or to eat more helpfully? What would it mean 19 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: to be in control of your finances or to stop procrastinating, 20 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:27,680 Speaker 1: or any of the other resolutions like that. In any case, 21 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 1: I know a fair number of people set out to 22 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,679 Speaker 1: do things and then feel like they haven't succeeded at 23 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 1: doing what they set out to do. This can be frustrating, 24 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,039 Speaker 1: and in a worst case scenario, can lead to a 25 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:44,479 Speaker 1: feeling like life is what it is and it is 26 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 1: not even worth trying to change things. But I think 27 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: goals can be incredibly motivating, and I also think it 28 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 1: is often possible to shape life in a schedule to 29 00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 1: make goals happen. To do that. Ye that, though, we 30 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,320 Speaker 1: need to be careful about how we set our goals, 31 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: both in how we choose these goals and in how 32 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 1: we structure these goals in order to make success possible. 33 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,639 Speaker 1: This episode is going to be about ways to think 34 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: through these issues so that your goals stand a good 35 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:25,799 Speaker 1: chance of actually happening. So the first thing to think 36 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 1: about is whether your goal is something that you actually 37 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 1: want to do. Now, perhaps this sounds like a silly question, 38 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: because if you are considering something as a goal, then 39 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:42,280 Speaker 1: clearly you do want to do it, right, But I 40 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: don't think this is necessarily true. People set goals for 41 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 1: all sorts of reasons. Maybe they sound good at least 42 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: in theory. Maybe other people are telling you that it 43 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 1: should be a goal for you. Maybe it is in 44 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 1: the abstract, something that you would like to do. I mean, 45 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 1: maybe eventually, but it is not as big a priority 46 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:09,640 Speaker 1: as other things in your life, perhaps right now. So 47 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 1: here is a way to figure out if you are 48 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:15,359 Speaker 1: motivated to do something or not, particularly something which might 49 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:19,239 Speaker 1: involve a habit or putting something regularly into your life, 50 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: or changing your daily schedule in some way. Ask yourself this, 51 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: would I do this on vacation? That is, would I 52 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: continue this habit or would I still be pursuing this 53 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: goal while on vacation. If you are planning to eat 54 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: more healthfily this year, would you eat more healthfuly on vacation. 55 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 1: If you are planning to exercise more often, would you 56 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: be willing to exercise on vacation. If you are planning 57 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: to drink less, would you drink less on vacation than 58 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: you normally would? I am not saying you would follow 59 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 1: the exact same schedule and protocol because hey, vacation, But 60 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: the key is whether you would eagerly ditch the protocol 61 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 1: because you were on vacation or not. This framing came 62 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 1: to me several years ago when I was on a 63 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: cruise and was attending the orientation, the cruise director told 64 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:22,039 Speaker 1: us about all the fun things we could do on 65 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:25,280 Speaker 1: the ship and during our shore excursions, and then he 66 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 1: grinned from ear to ear and let us all know 67 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:33,719 Speaker 1: that all diets are officially kicked to the curb. He 68 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 1: then mimed kicking something off the stage. The crowd went wild. 69 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:44,359 Speaker 1: I found this all fascinating. I am sure that at 70 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 1: least some people on that cruise had set some sort 71 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: of goal to eat more healthfully during the year, and 72 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: then decided that being on a cruise was a guilt 73 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:56,720 Speaker 1: free reason to not follow those eating patterns that they 74 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:01,599 Speaker 1: had set for themselves. But why what is it about 75 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:06,239 Speaker 1: being on a giant boat that would change anything about 76 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,919 Speaker 1: a goal you might have. I imagine the truth is 77 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,359 Speaker 1: that people didn't particularly want to eat more healthfully, at 78 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: least among competing priorities, and so when there was a 79 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: socially acceptable reason not to, people were happy to take 80 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: the excuse. But for a long term habit to stick, 81 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,360 Speaker 1: you will need to call upon your problem solving abilities 82 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: to figure out ways to stick with the habit. When 83 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 1: life is different from the norm for some reason, you 84 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:41,279 Speaker 1: can't be calling upon your problem solving abilities to get 85 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:45,039 Speaker 1: out of doing it. So that is why I like 86 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:50,159 Speaker 1: this vacation question. If you would still more or less 87 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: do something while on vacation, then you do in fact 88 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 1: want to do it. For example, I still track my 89 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 1: time on vacation because I find it useful to track 90 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:06,119 Speaker 1: my time. When I had my running streak going several 91 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 1: years ago, I would run on vacation. For instance, I 92 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 1: ran laps around that cruise ship deck and in the 93 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,599 Speaker 1: cruise gym. But not because I am some sort of 94 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: paragon of virtue, trust me, I am not, but because 95 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 1: I wanted to run. I really like running. I also 96 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: like eating dessert, so I would not set a goal 97 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 1: that involved not eating dessert. I always want a little 98 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: bit to be okay. I think anyone ditching a diet 99 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 1: on that cruise ship might have been better served by 100 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 1: an eating goal that involved moderation in all things. So 101 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: you could enjoy a cocktail on occasion or a treat 102 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 1: on occasion, but generally eat produce and lean protein for 103 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 1: most of your calories. Asking would I do this on 104 00:06:56,080 --> 00:07:00,720 Speaker 1: vacation leads to the next question, which is figuring out 105 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 1: how to structure a goal to fit in with your 106 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: regular life and life when it is not so regular. 107 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 1: I am not having to say, you know, you do 108 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: something all the time, you do it every single day, 109 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,240 Speaker 1: but you might want to figure out how it will 110 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: fit into what your day to day existence tends to 111 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: look like. And guess what, you are busy. You do 112 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 1: not have five hours a day to devote to optional things. Right, 113 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: So we're going to take a quick ad break and 114 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: then we'll be back talking about more ways to set 115 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:45,720 Speaker 1: goals and stick with them. Well, i am back. This 116 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 1: is a longer episode, but I'm not interviewing anyone this week. 117 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 1: I am talking about ways to set goals for the 118 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 1: new year that increases the chances that they will happen. First, 119 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: we talked about setting goals that you truly wanted to do, 120 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 1: and one way to get at this is to ask yourself, 121 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,559 Speaker 1: would you do at least some version of this goal 122 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 1: while on vacation? Would you stick with this habit at 123 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 1: least to some degree on vacation. That is a good 124 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 1: way to gauge motivation. Now we're talking about building a 125 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: goal into daily life. I know people listening to this 126 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 1: show are incredibly busy. We do not have hours a 127 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: day to devote to optional things. Goals need to fit 128 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 1: into life as it is, so in general, one of 129 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,800 Speaker 1: the best ways to make goals happen is to figure 130 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 1: out how you can break your big goals into as 131 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: small of steps as possible, and then you can figure 132 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 1: out where these small steps can fit into most days. 133 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 1: I like to think about small steps. Because the cruise 134 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 1: director on that cruise I was talking about didn't tell 135 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:55,480 Speaker 1: us that all toothbrushing habits were officially kicked to the curb. 136 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 1: He didn't tell us that oral hygiene no longer applied 137 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 1: on this ship. I think people would have found that 138 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 1: rather odd if he had kicked a toothbrush off the stage. 139 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: So I was sitting there pondering why are people willing 140 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,080 Speaker 1: to stick with one healthy habit, that is brushing their 141 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:17,040 Speaker 1: teeth on vacation, but not others, like the diets. I 142 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:23,200 Speaker 1: think it is because toothbrushing is easy, reasonably pleasant, doesn't 143 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 1: take much time, and we generally plan for aberrations in 144 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: our routines. People take their toothbrushes with them on vacation. Indeed, 145 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: if you want evidence that a lot of goals and 146 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 1: habits are less about discipline than they are about structure 147 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 1: and incentives. Consider that many people who don't think of 148 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: themselves as good at habits might have a multi decade 149 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: streak going of brushing their teeth daily. No one points 150 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 1: to daily teeth brushing as evidence of their ironclad discipline. 151 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,320 Speaker 1: Nor do people try to weasel out of toothbrushing by 152 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 1: claiming it is their birthday or are there on vacation, 153 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 1: or they did it yesterday, yesterday was a really tough day, 154 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:13,560 Speaker 1: and name your excuse. People still brush their teeth. So 155 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,680 Speaker 1: if you have big goals, it might help to think 156 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 1: about how you could make individual steps toward these big 157 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 1: goals feel relatively easy, much like brushing your teeth. This 158 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,840 Speaker 1: is one reason that I am drawn to big, year 159 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,839 Speaker 1: long projects. When I set my goals, even very big 160 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: things spread out over three hundred and sixty five days 161 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: tend to become relatively little things. Back in twenty twenty two, 162 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,559 Speaker 1: I managed to read through all the works of Shakespeare 163 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 1: by reading three pages in my anthology each day for 164 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 1: an entire year. Reading all of Shakespeare's sounds like a 165 00:10:56,280 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: huge project, and on some level it is. But his 166 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 1: complete works fit into a one thousand page anthology, and 167 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 1: if there are three hundred and sixty five days a year. 168 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 1: That's just about three pages a day. The math works 169 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:18,120 Speaker 1: as long as you just keep going. I did the 170 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: same in twenty twenty five with listening to all the 171 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,559 Speaker 1: works of Beethoven. That is something I set as a 172 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: goal for the year. Now, this was about thirty minutes 173 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 1: of listening a day when I followed a particular calendar. 174 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 1: Some days it was a little more, some days it 175 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,680 Speaker 1: was a little less. But I know from my time 176 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:39,720 Speaker 1: logs that I spend at least thirty minutes driving around 177 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:43,160 Speaker 1: each day in my car, So listening to Beethoven just 178 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,280 Speaker 1: meant listening to something a bit more elevated than I 179 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: usually would. It all fit pretty easily, no major discipline required. 180 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:59,200 Speaker 1: Breaking big goals down into small steps can even make 181 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:04,840 Speaker 1: things that have I've eluded us before finally happen. So 182 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:08,240 Speaker 1: I have made several bucket lists over the years. Longtime 183 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 1: listeners have heard me talk about my lists of one 184 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 1: hundred dreams, and over the years I'd often put something 185 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:18,680 Speaker 1: like write a collection of seasonal sonnets on the list. 186 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 1: So sonnets are generally fourteen line poems with a certain 187 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,679 Speaker 1: rhyming scheme. So I put this on the list, and 188 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:29,960 Speaker 1: then I wouldn't do it. But a few years ago 189 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 1: I decided to set a goal to write just two 190 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 1: lines in a sonnet every day. Two lines is truly 191 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: not that much. Now, these sonnets are in iambic pentameter, 192 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:48,560 Speaker 1: so two lines meant twenty syllables a day, very very easy. 193 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 1: But it turns out that two lines a day add 194 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 1: up two lines a day is one fourteen line poem 195 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 1: a week. There are fifty two weeks in a year, 196 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 1: so I have now written about one hundred and fifty 197 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:06,960 Speaker 1: six of these poems over the last three years. It 198 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 1: feels easy, unpleasant and rewarding enough that I plan to 199 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: just keep going. We're going to take one more quick 200 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: ad break, and then we'll be talking about how to 201 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:31,800 Speaker 1: make our goals happen. Well, we are back talking about 202 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 1: how to set goals so we can actually accomplish them. 203 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,440 Speaker 1: Of course, all goals do not need to happen daily. 204 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 1: Sometimes there might be reasons that you wouldn't want to 205 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 1: have a goal structured as a daily habit, perhaps with 206 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,600 Speaker 1: things like lifting heavy weights or running for people who 207 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,680 Speaker 1: aren't going for streaks. In general, you do need some 208 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,520 Speaker 1: recovery time for habits like those. But in those cases, 209 00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:00,280 Speaker 1: I think it helps to figure out what success would 210 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:03,800 Speaker 1: look like for you in terms of frequency, allowing for 211 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:07,200 Speaker 1: the reality of life, and then to figure out where 212 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:12,920 Speaker 1: exactly these things could fit into the schedule. So let's 213 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 1: say you want to exercise more. That is a common 214 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 1: goal people might set as a New Year's resolution. It 215 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,240 Speaker 1: is also hard to know hearing that what success would 216 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 1: mean for any individual person, so let's aim to make 217 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:31,920 Speaker 1: it a little more specific. For example, I intend to 218 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,560 Speaker 1: exercise for thirty minutes three times a week, unless I 219 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:40,120 Speaker 1: am physically incapable of doing so. In general, I believe 220 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 1: that three times a week is a habit, so that 221 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 1: is probably a good number to shoot for. So let's 222 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 1: say the answer is three times a week. Then you 223 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 1: would need to look at your calendar for the next 224 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:56,160 Speaker 1: few weeks and go ahead and block these sessions in. 225 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: Where can three exercise sessions go next week? How about 226 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 1: the week after that? This is where you figure out 227 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,680 Speaker 1: if this is a reasonable goal for you or not. 228 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 1: If you can't block in three sessions during the first 229 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:17,200 Speaker 1: week of January, it is not like other weeks will 230 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:21,960 Speaker 1: magically be better. So if you can't find three spots, 231 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,760 Speaker 1: you'll need to refine your goal or figure out ways 232 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,960 Speaker 1: to change your schedule. Maybe that can't happen immediately, but 233 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 1: over ninety days maybe. But the truth is, I'd actually 234 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 1: aim to block more than three sessions in if that 235 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 1: is your goal, in order to make sure that the 236 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:47,680 Speaker 1: three sessions happen. Because here's the thing, life for sure 237 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:52,320 Speaker 1: will happen. Stuff will come up. If you make space 238 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 1: for three sessions, there is a good chance one will 239 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 1: be taken away from you when there is a work 240 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:02,240 Speaker 1: crisis or a kid gets it's the flu. If you 241 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 1: set a goal of three and only make one or two, 242 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,520 Speaker 1: you might feel like a failure. It seems not to 243 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 1: be happening regularly. But if you carve out space for 244 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 1: four sessions and miss one, you have still hit your goal. 245 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 1: If you carve out space for four and miss two, 246 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,600 Speaker 1: you'll still feel quite a bit closer than if you 247 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:33,920 Speaker 1: missed two out of three. Now, I know it is 248 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 1: hard to carve out a backup slot in addition to 249 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:41,960 Speaker 1: carving out time for our priorities, but hey, this episode 250 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,800 Speaker 1: is about how to make goals happen. It's not always easy. 251 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,440 Speaker 1: There is a reason that we believe most people fail 252 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 1: at their New Year's resolutions, and I think not planning 253 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 1: for life to go wrong on occasion is a big 254 00:16:55,960 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 1: part of that reason. Finally, setting goals that actually happen 255 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 1: means being constantly reminded of your goals. How will you 256 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: remember your goals? How will you make sure you don't 257 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 1: forget until New Year's next year? As you are planning 258 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:16,200 Speaker 1: your life, How will you make sure time for your 259 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:22,639 Speaker 1: goals winds up in your schedule. Longtime listeners know that 260 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:27,840 Speaker 1: I advocate creating a regular weekly planning time. Each week, 261 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,800 Speaker 1: you sit down and around the same time and look 262 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 1: forward to the next week. What is most important to 263 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 1: do in the spheres of career, relationships and self. What 264 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 1: do you need to do? What logistics do you need 265 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,240 Speaker 1: to sort out for all of this to take place? 266 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,200 Speaker 1: During this time, you can look at your goals list 267 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 1: and think about what steps can happen and where during 268 00:17:56,040 --> 00:18:00,920 Speaker 1: the week these should go. So look at the list frequently. 269 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 1: You might also be helped by figuring out some form 270 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 1: of accountability. Sometimes we drift away from goals because they 271 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:14,520 Speaker 1: no longer make sense in our lives. But if you 272 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,879 Speaker 1: do want to stick with your goals rather than drift 273 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 1: away from them. Then it helps to find ways to 274 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 1: boost motivation when it might flag. So can you enlist 275 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:31,159 Speaker 1: an accountability partner? An accountability partnership doesn't have to be elaborate. 276 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 1: All you have to do is check in by email 277 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,640 Speaker 1: or by text once a week or so to see 278 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:42,120 Speaker 1: how things are going. If you don't want to keep 279 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:45,680 Speaker 1: sending texts about why you just couldn't find three times 280 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 1: a week to work out, or last week you didn't 281 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 1: need to do it either, or maybe even the week 282 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,200 Speaker 1: before that you don't really want to send that text, well, 283 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 1: maybe you will work on your schedule in order to 284 00:18:55,520 --> 00:19:00,119 Speaker 1: make it happen. The good news is that if if 285 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:03,679 Speaker 1: you do think about all these things, you will have 286 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:08,679 Speaker 1: a good chance of making your goals stick. You'll choose 287 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:13,160 Speaker 1: goals that you really want to do. You will think 288 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:18,680 Speaker 1: about how to make the individual steps of your goals easy. 289 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,480 Speaker 1: You will think about how they can regularly fit into 290 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:25,040 Speaker 1: your life. You will think about how they will fit 291 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:29,359 Speaker 1: into your life when life is complicated, and how you 292 00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 1: will create a backup slot so success is more likely 293 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:38,320 Speaker 1: even when things go wrong. You'll think about how you 294 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 1: will be reminded of your goals and how you might 295 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 1: keep yourself motivated through the year. Is that a lot maybe, 296 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 1: but it is also likely the difference between success and 297 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:57,919 Speaker 1: feeling frustrated with the whole process. I want everyone to 298 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:02,520 Speaker 1: feel next December like they've been able to do what 299 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:08,280 Speaker 1: they set out to do. Success is truly possible when 300 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 1: we achieve our goals and then we really do take 301 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 1: life from great to awesome. I would love to hear 302 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:22,000 Speaker 1: about your New year's resolutions. Feel free to share them 303 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 1: with me. You can always reach me at Laura at 304 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:30,120 Speaker 1: Laura vandercam dot com. What are you doing to make 305 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:36,920 Speaker 1: success more likely in the meantime? This is Laura. Thanks 306 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:42,440 Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. 307 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:53,320 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, 308 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:56,880 Speaker 1: or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura 309 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. 310 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,920 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, 311 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,439 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.