1
00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,320
Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.

2
00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,920
Speaker 1: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or

3
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:13,080
Speaker 1: a terrible throuffle, guess what You've got decisions.

4
00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:19,120
Speaker 2: You've got decisions. I've got decisions. We've got decisions.

5
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:25,000
Speaker 1: Anger, guys, Happy humphday. As you know, this is our

6
00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:28,280
Speaker 1: second feed drop. We are so glad you're back again.

7
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,360
Speaker 1: If you want to see what our faces look like,

8
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:31,680
Speaker 1: if you want to see the video, and if you

9
00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:33,440
Speaker 1: don't want ads, all you got to do is go

10
00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:37,120
Speaker 1: to patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and you can

11
00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:40,240
Speaker 1: see how sexy Mandy and I are in our house clothes.

12
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:41,840
Speaker 1: That's the right.

13
00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:46,160
Speaker 2: And if you want us to answer your questions, go

14
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:51,720
Speaker 2: on ahead and send us your question to decisions pod

15
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,479
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com.

16
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,320
Speaker 1: Well we'll read it off to you.

17
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,520
Speaker 2: Or if you're a patron, go ahead and send that because,

18
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:03,320
Speaker 2: as y'all know, patrons have priority over here. Hun Anyways,

19
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,800
Speaker 2: by this topic this week, it sounds like we are

20
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,040
Speaker 2: literally speaking to an insecure man.

21
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,680
Speaker 1: What are the odds?

22
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:16,959
Speaker 2: Oh no, not again, Jesus are our letter this week.

23
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:21,199
Speaker 2: The subject line says, boyfriend wants me to unfollow all

24
00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:22,080
Speaker 2: men on.

25
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,520
Speaker 1: Ig Here we go. Hi.

26
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,800
Speaker 2: I have been seeing this guy since October of twenty

27
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,440
Speaker 2: twenty four, and we have known each other since we

28
00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:35,080
Speaker 2: were eleven years old. We are twenty four now. There

29
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,520
Speaker 2: was always tension with this guy, and we always flirted

30
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,440
Speaker 2: and sometimes dated, but never to the point of a

31
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:46,240
Speaker 2: real relationship like now now that he's my boyfriend. He

32
00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:49,920
Speaker 2: says he wants me to unfollow every single man except

33
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,600
Speaker 2: for family on Instagram. This feels like a lot, and

34
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,240
Speaker 2: it's rubbing me the wrong way because it's not like

35
00:01:56,320 --> 00:02:00,200
Speaker 2: I'm going to cheat. It just seems very insecure and

36
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:04,040
Speaker 2: controlling to me. He'll probably think I'm cheating and stuff

37
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,200
Speaker 2: if I tell him I'm not gonna do that.

38
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,720
Speaker 1: What do you guys think? What should I do?

39
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:12,880
Speaker 2: By the way, he doesn't follow any women on Instagram

40
00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:16,160
Speaker 2: and is private. I am also private and don't hide

41
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:19,320
Speaker 2: anything from him. Thank you love the show.

42
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:24,280
Speaker 1: By the way, well, I've been through so many things

43
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,880
Speaker 1: with my homegirls wanting their boyfriends to unfollow women, and

44
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,960
Speaker 1: every single time I tell them, they sound ridiculous. The

45
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:35,760
Speaker 1: only thing I can empathize with is if you've dated

46
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:39,080
Speaker 1: these dudes, I understand someone maybe not wanting you to

47
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,480
Speaker 1: follow and keep up with and like have conversations with

48
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:44,760
Speaker 1: someone used to fuck. I get that, even though that's

49
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,440
Speaker 1: not what I think is healthy. I feel really sorry

50
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,560
Speaker 1: for you because this is only step one in your

51
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,200
Speaker 1: new relationship. And what's ended up gonna happen, Like, what's

52
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,160
Speaker 1: gonna end up happening is you're gonna have a job

53
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,920
Speaker 1: and you're gonna work with some men, and you're gonna

54
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,840
Speaker 1: ends up growing networking. You could be young and in

55
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,440
Speaker 1: school with different men, like men are going to cross

56
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,079
Speaker 1: your path. What does this nigga expect you to put

57
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:09,360
Speaker 1: your head down?

58
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,160
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take I'm gonna take a line from our

59
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:17,000
Speaker 2: good friends over at the read shout out to Crystal

60
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,000
Speaker 2: and Fury Girl.

61
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:19,560
Speaker 1: Break up with him.

62
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:24,320
Speaker 2: Maybe this is something more suitable as a friendship. Y'all

63
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:27,080
Speaker 2: have known each other since you were eleven. You guys

64
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:30,400
Speaker 2: have flirted but never dated into a real relationship. And

65
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:34,320
Speaker 2: baby girl, maybe this is why he has a lot

66
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,840
Speaker 2: of things he has to work through. And to me,

67
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,640
Speaker 2: I'll be honest with you, Okay, look at you about

68
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,640
Speaker 2: to put something on him. I'll allowed to say I

69
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:46,360
Speaker 2: think that nigga got offence to but maybe that's given

70
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,840
Speaker 2: him too much credit. I know so many guys that

71
00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:55,640
Speaker 2: have fenced the accounts to literally follow women, to like

72
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,920
Speaker 2: engage with women. I wouldn't doubt if there's a way

73
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,160
Speaker 2: that he's still scrolling that way or maybe that's just

74
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:01,880
Speaker 2: not what he.

75
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,640
Speaker 1: Likes to do. I mean, I guess like the thing

76
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:09,080
Speaker 1: is what is the okay? Is it men that you know?

77
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:13,600
Speaker 1: Like what is the point? Because to me with the FENSA,

78
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:15,920
Speaker 1: first of all, I don't know.

79
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,320
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I'm saying maybe maybe he has.

80
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,919
Speaker 2: A fensta, like he don't get it. He's led that

81
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,760
Speaker 2: he doesn't follow any women at all. And for me,

82
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:25,599
Speaker 2: if if.

83
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,440
Speaker 1: He is also the type of guy I used the

84
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:32,920
Speaker 1: first style and food like literally because I followed maybe

85
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:36,320
Speaker 1: two thousand food pages, you know, like my whole other

86
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,039
Speaker 1: algorithm got fucked up and I was like, oh, I

87
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,960
Speaker 1: need to put this in streamline. Literally it's for food.

88
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:45,279
Speaker 1: It's a blank thing with numbers. So maybe he's bitches

89
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,599
Speaker 1: and I think he does, like yeah, like my nigga

90
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,200
Speaker 1: don't have Instagram, but he's still be sending me memes

91
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,080
Speaker 1: because he likes to use the app but doesn't like

92
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,560
Speaker 1: to build the profile. So I think there's this thing

93
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,240
Speaker 1: that can send my be phony. And I'll tell you this.

94
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:02,120
Speaker 1: I have a few friends that don't have Instagram profiles,

95
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,440
Speaker 1: but they like to use the app, me with TikTok.

96
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,400
Speaker 1: I don't make tiktoks. I don't have a TikTok profile.

97
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,360
Speaker 1: Maybe I do, I don't know, but I've never used it.

98
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,039
Speaker 1: I just use it as a search engine, and a

99
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:16,120
Speaker 1: lot of people use that for all social media platforms.

100
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,200
Speaker 1: So I think he's probably trying to act like he's

101
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,839
Speaker 1: some sort of Oh I don't do x y Z nigga,

102
00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:22,440
Speaker 1: you do it somewhere because how to Fuck You was

103
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,520
Speaker 1: on my dick about it. I think that the purpose

104
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:30,400
Speaker 1: of Instagram for most people is to have fun, to

105
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,480
Speaker 1: engage with friends. I think a lot of single people

106
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,680
Speaker 1: and some people that are in relationship sure like to

107
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,479
Speaker 1: flirt on ig But it's the fear and the insecurity

108
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,200
Speaker 1: of it, Like, what the fuck happened to this nigga

109
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,719
Speaker 1: that you can't follow a man? I think that's really

110
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:45,200
Speaker 1: weird shit.

111
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,800
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's also weird if he is

112
00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:52,480
Speaker 2: a man who doesn't have any female friendships. I think

113
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:57,760
Speaker 2: for me, it's very telling for a guy who can't

114
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:01,719
Speaker 2: have platonic relationships with women for whatever reason.

115
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,520
Speaker 1: I think that's a red flag.

116
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:09,400
Speaker 2: And for me, you say in this email, it just

117
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:14,039
Speaker 2: seems very insecure and controlling to me. I want to

118
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:19,320
Speaker 2: tell you now, nobody seeks out an insecure or controlling partner.

119
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:23,560
Speaker 2: You've been with this man since October of twenty twenty four,

120
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:27,880
Speaker 2: which means you just now maybe hitting the eight month mark.

121
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:33,360
Speaker 2: I would say, go ahead and maybe turn this back

122
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,799
Speaker 2: into the friendship that it's been since y'all were eleven

123
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:36,359
Speaker 2: years old.

124
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,039
Speaker 1: This is not the person for you.

125
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,480
Speaker 2: And I think that we as women have to be

126
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:44,000
Speaker 2: in positions where when we see the red flags, we

127
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:48,719
Speaker 2: go ahead and say, I'm wasting my time. This isn't

128
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,000
Speaker 2: my battle to fight. And let me tell you right now,

129
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:56,280
Speaker 2: an insecure man will only get more insecure if he's insecure.

130
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,560
Speaker 2: Right now, about the men that you just follow on

131
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:03,360
Speaker 2: a social media platform, there's gonna be insecurities that arise.

132
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,719
Speaker 2: Like Weezy said, if you're in a job and you

133
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:09,880
Speaker 2: start working with men, or if you you know, go

134
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,400
Speaker 2: to a restaurant and maybe the server is too nice

135
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:17,280
Speaker 2: to you. Insecurities only heighten over time. And if he's

136
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,880
Speaker 2: that insecure to where he wants you to unfollow everyone

137
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,680
Speaker 2: on Instagram. I would say, let him go deal with

138
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,680
Speaker 2: whatever traumas he is carrying and move on to someone else.

139
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,280
Speaker 3: This is I would not advise anybody to say, with

140
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:31,040
Speaker 3: a man like this.

141
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,640
Speaker 1: You're gonna have a really hard time going through life

142
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:37,000
Speaker 1: like this. Like, I don't know. I guess I've been fortunate.

143
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,920
Speaker 1: I've of course run into scenarios with every partner on

144
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,760
Speaker 1: how I engage with men, or having homeboys, or maybe

145
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,880
Speaker 1: questions like those things come up. It's totally natural. All

146
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,760
Speaker 1: of my women friends have the same thing, Like there's

147
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,480
Speaker 1: always gonna be a conversation about boundaries things like that.

148
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:56,200
Speaker 1: But this one in particular. None you can follow none.

149
00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,280
Speaker 1: I wanna be roll with you. I don't have many

150
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,080
Speaker 1: niggas I follow because they're fine a shit, But I

151
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,040
Speaker 1: have many men I follow because I admire their work.

152
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:10,240
Speaker 1: I'm a fan of their content creation and or style.

153
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:13,200
Speaker 1: Shit Like, I just don't understand how I can only

154
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:17,280
Speaker 1: bruh comedians. You gotta unfollow keV on stage, Bitch, what

155
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:17,920
Speaker 1: you're gonna do?

156
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,880
Speaker 2: No, Drewski, Like, really ask that nigga that, oh you

157
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,080
Speaker 2: want me to be Yeah, ask if you gotta unfollow

158
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:29,120
Speaker 2: Drew skiven A like drewski gotta go my Charlemagne and

159
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,080
Speaker 2: the God Breakfast Club updates, gotta go. What am I

160
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:35,640
Speaker 2: supposed to do if we realistically can't follow the opposite

161
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,239
Speaker 2: sex in order to make our partner feel comfortable?

162
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,200
Speaker 1: What is then the next level? How much deeper does

163
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,439
Speaker 1: it go? I mean? Really? Okay?

164
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,240
Speaker 2: So then let me ask you a question. Let's get

165
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:51,000
Speaker 2: into some hypotheticals. If she's saying he's worried that I'm

166
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:56,400
Speaker 2: gonna cheat or something, would a compromise be, Hey, these

167
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:59,000
Speaker 2: people are in my algorithm and I like them?

168
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,840
Speaker 1: Do you want my password? Like? No, why do we?

169
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,800
Speaker 2: I mean because so so I and this is where

170
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:06,880
Speaker 2: Because here's the thing too.

171
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:07,720
Speaker 1: Let's be very clear.

172
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,920
Speaker 2: Women will stay with some fucked up niggas just to.

173
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:12,800
Speaker 1: Keep a nigga.

174
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:17,440
Speaker 2: So if if she's like, he's my boyfriend now, but

175
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:22,120
Speaker 2: this is what he wants. We've talked about fucking compromises

176
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:26,120
Speaker 2: and sacrifices, maybe she's not gonna enjoy the app at

177
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:29,120
Speaker 2: all anymore because she's following people that she enjoys. So

178
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,240
Speaker 2: she's like, I think he feels like, I'm using it

179
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:35,040
Speaker 2: to cheat, and she said, I'm not going to cheat.

180
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:41,160
Speaker 2: So in this essence, if you have nothing to hide,

181
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,040
Speaker 2: could that not be a solution to make him feel

182
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,480
Speaker 2: more comfortable if he then has access to see what

183
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,760
Speaker 2: she's doing on the app, And then you're thinking of

184
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,920
Speaker 2: I'm thinking of a compromise without just being like leave him,

185
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,439
Speaker 2: because of course he's in the here she's gonna.

186
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,320
Speaker 1: Say, so let me think of like a compromise. What

187
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:01,720
Speaker 1: the hell? That's another unhealthy compromise, right. So the thing

188
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,959
Speaker 1: about toxicity when it comes to things like this, where

189
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:08,960
Speaker 1: you see a lot of control early on, you're only

190
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,920
Speaker 1: trying to get around it by doing something else that's

191
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,440
Speaker 1: super toxic to me, there shouldn't be a password exchange

192
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:19,520
Speaker 1: to include to have trust. Now the only caveat, I

193
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:23,080
Speaker 1: think to password exchange that I can understand and I

194
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,360
Speaker 1: never did this, but I do get it. Let's just

195
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:31,520
Speaker 1: say I'm on Instagram, my man cheats on me with

196
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,160
Speaker 1: a girl he met on IG and he was maybe

197
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,400
Speaker 1: messaging a lot of women in IG. Maybe then the

198
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,480
Speaker 1: compromises if I stay with you, I have your password

199
00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:43,040
Speaker 1: or something, But then you only turn into this person

200
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,719
Speaker 1: that is constantly checking, or niggas won't wait till you

201
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,920
Speaker 1: sleep and do the disappearing message. It's like they will

202
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:52,040
Speaker 1: find a way. Niggas will find a way. We'll tell

203
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,760
Speaker 1: you right now. I really hope she'll come on one day.

204
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,640
Speaker 1: I have a friend. We're not like friend friends, but

205
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,560
Speaker 1: we'll have dinner every once in a blue in La

206
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,120
Speaker 1: and she'll always filde and right now her man has

207
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,960
Speaker 1: her location. She was like, bitch, I'll lead a phone

208
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,120
Speaker 1: at home like a breath. She's like, I'll lead a

209
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,520
Speaker 1: phone at home. I'll find a way to put it

210
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,559
Speaker 1: on the laptop because I want to see my side nigga.

211
00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:12,280
Speaker 1: And she's really funny because she'd be like dead as

212
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,480
Speaker 1: saying this now. Her nigga's like sugar daddy type who

213
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,240
Speaker 1: just pays her bills, right. But the point is that

214
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:20,000
Speaker 1: girl found a way double the phone. Like you want

215
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,760
Speaker 1: to get fucked, you want.

216
00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:26,120
Speaker 2: To Doubling a phone is insane if you have to

217
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,280
Speaker 2: go to the links of doubling your phone and leaving

218
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:29,880
Speaker 2: it at.

219
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:34,119
Speaker 3: Home, Like just leave the whoever you're fucking with, Bruh.

220
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,600
Speaker 1: What are niggas paying your bill? I think you do

221
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:36,240
Speaker 1: what you gotta do.

222
00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:41,440
Speaker 2: But nigga is only paying my bills and not like

223
00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:46,760
Speaker 2: my actual exclusive partner. No, bro, there's to me there

224
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:52,319
Speaker 2: could be unhealthy and controlling sugar daddy transactional relationships too.

225
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,960
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, I didn't say my friend wasn't toxic,

226
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,040
Speaker 1: but the bitch is. You know, it's funny, and I

227
00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,800
Speaker 1: brought it up just to make a point of like,

228
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:01,880
Speaker 1: if you want to do it, you'll do it. So

229
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,800
Speaker 1: that's why I don't believe in password exchange. I never have.

230
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:15,560
Speaker 2: So then what would be your answer, outside of leaving

231
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,840
Speaker 2: this actually think you aren't you can do in order

232
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,920
Speaker 2: to save this relationship is say no.

233
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:28,320
Speaker 1: Here's why this is a very strange thing to remove

234
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,720
Speaker 1: all of the opposite sex from something that's a social

235
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,600
Speaker 1: media account. These aren't text messages, these aren't homeboys. I

236
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,400
Speaker 1: in my opinion, I think you have to fight back

237
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,600
Speaker 1: and set a boundary for yourself because you're gonna end

238
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,920
Speaker 1: up being controlled. This may sound like it's not a

239
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,360
Speaker 1: big deal to you, because let's just say, you're the

240
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,319
Speaker 1: type of girls. I don't really use ig I don't

241
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,240
Speaker 1: know the niggas anyway, I don't care. To me, it's

242
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:52,920
Speaker 1: ridiculous because he's starting the relationship with a piece of

243
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:57,600
Speaker 1: control and un these circumstances that aren't necessarily required or

244
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:01,079
Speaker 1: very normal interacting with the opposite sex as a part

245
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,000
Speaker 1: of our everyday life. I don't know what, but fuck town.

246
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,320
Speaker 1: You could possibly live in where it won't happen, but

247
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:09,080
Speaker 1: there's no way, so I would push back and literally

248
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:12,440
Speaker 1: use that example of let's talk about where this comes from.

249
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:16,199
Speaker 1: Have a mature conversation. If I think wiping men out

250
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:19,360
Speaker 1: of a social media feed sounds more than what it is,

251
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,520
Speaker 1: tell me why you want me to do this. Is

252
00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:24,760
Speaker 1: there something that happened to you in a previous relationship

253
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,360
Speaker 1: that you feel like I may do because this won't

254
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,200
Speaker 1: solve it. I'll still walk outside and see a man somewhere.

255
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,800
Speaker 1: So what should my interactions look like with men that

256
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:36,280
Speaker 1: will make you feel comfortable? Second to that a great question?

257
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:42,680
Speaker 1: Do I unfollow Druski? A real shit bro like every

258
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:48,120
Speaker 1: nick like I and Maandy? I'm maybe other women wouldn't,

259
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,640
Speaker 1: but I do understand someone saying unfollow bitches that you

260
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:54,079
Speaker 1: might have dated. I get it. I want to talk

261
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,120
Speaker 1: about on the flip side, women that do this. A

262
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,040
Speaker 1: friend of mine has been dating a guy for a year,

263
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:03,080
Speaker 1: he was not unfollowing ig models. She was very upset

264
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,679
Speaker 1: about it. I may have brought it up on a

265
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:10,240
Speaker 1: previous episode last year, did I it's possible I'm liking

266
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,160
Speaker 1: photos of blonde girls and she wasn't blonde. Do you

267
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,800
Speaker 1: remember that? Yeah, it's okay. This is the same person

268
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:20,040
Speaker 1: and she hates it he follows models. But I'm like, bruh,

269
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,760
Speaker 1: you got in a relationship with a nigga following seventeen

270
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,120
Speaker 1: hundred people. I guarantee you it's just a click, click

271
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,480
Speaker 1: click thing. And my thing I was telling her was like,

272
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:34,280
Speaker 1: your nigga's got a private page. Not that he is ugly,

273
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,320
Speaker 1: but like these bitches are blue Chat and India Love.

274
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,200
Speaker 1: Ain't worried about your nigga, Like why do we really care?

275
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,840
Speaker 1: And so to me, noah, my homegirl who's been cheated on,

276
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,560
Speaker 1: I get it. It always comes from somewhere. But I

277
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,120
Speaker 1: tried to explain to her, like I feel like you're

278
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:52,520
Speaker 1: almost policing him just going on the internet a little bit.

279
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,440
Speaker 1: And that's the thing. If someone hasn't proven they've been

280
00:14:56,360 --> 00:15:03,280
Speaker 1: irresponsible or unloyal dishonest to you, you in your relationship, Nah, I.

281
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,240
Speaker 2: Mean, but I think, but I think that that's why

282
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:12,160
Speaker 2: I said he he should absolutely like and I you're

283
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,640
Speaker 2: twenty four, so you're young. I want to tell you

284
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,280
Speaker 2: there's so many more god damn fishing to see. But

285
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,760
Speaker 2: that's why I said he needs to go and work

286
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,520
Speaker 2: on whatever trauma, because the same way your homegirl is

287
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,320
Speaker 2: clearly projecting her insecurities because she's been cheated on.

288
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,400
Speaker 1: It could be that, or.

289
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,080
Speaker 2: I'm curious as to if if they've known each other

290
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,560
Speaker 2: since eleven, if they've had some sort of friendship. I'm

291
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:39,760
Speaker 2: also curious to know if she's over shared. I say

292
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:44,320
Speaker 2: that because maybe there was a part of this friendship

293
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,680
Speaker 2: where you met a guy on Instagram or you fucked

294
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:52,160
Speaker 2: people off Instagram and you shared those interactions with him

295
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:56,960
Speaker 2: to where that's what's in his head. I mean, for me, like,

296
00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,680
Speaker 2: I meet people on Instagram, so I I could see

297
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,800
Speaker 2: if my partner felt a way about seeing me in

298
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,800
Speaker 2: the likes of other actors or other racers.

299
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:09,680
Speaker 3: And things that look like him.

300
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:13,360
Speaker 2: Because baby, I'm proud of how I liked a couple

301
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:13,920
Speaker 2: of pictures and.

302
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,960
Speaker 1: You know he slid in my hams.

303
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:20,080
Speaker 2: So knowing that he knows that Instagram has been used

304
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:24,200
Speaker 2: as my way of shooting my shot, especially through liked pictures.

305
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,960
Speaker 2: I would be curious to know if maybe you've also

306
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:32,440
Speaker 2: overshared how you roll on Instagram.

307
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:32,440
Speaker 1: As an app.

308
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,480
Speaker 3: I mean, if you can look at Instagram, that's the thing.

309
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:38,600
Speaker 2: So for me, you I get how you view Instagram

310
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:42,280
Speaker 2: as this place where you scroll find recipes and it's

311
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,120
Speaker 2: a scrolling thing.

312
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:43,440
Speaker 1: Right.

313
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:48,200
Speaker 2: I don't do dating apps, but I've definitely gotten hell

314
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:54,200
Speaker 2: of dick and partnership off of Instagram as the dating

315
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,520
Speaker 2: app and as the dating app of my choice, and

316
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:01,920
Speaker 2: so to lean into that, I can see why it's

317
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,080
Speaker 2: not just ig ig could be a hey, delete tender

318
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:08,760
Speaker 2: off your phone, Hey delete hinge off your phone. To me,

319
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,840
Speaker 2: if someone wrote us in saying that, we would absolutely

320
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,120
Speaker 2: be like, yeah, bitch, delete that off your phone. Which

321
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:18,399
Speaker 2: is why I want to turn Instagram into the dating

322
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,560
Speaker 2: app that it could potentially be used as.

323
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:28,000
Speaker 1: So here's the caveat. I don't agree, because so I

324
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,159
Speaker 1: go on girls' Nights to Last Lap, a bar in

325
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,600
Speaker 1: New York. You know I met my exit last Lap.

326
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,200
Speaker 1: I'm just making sure and I fuck a bunch of

327
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,680
Speaker 1: bitches from Last Lap. That part's true. Whatever, so now

328
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:42,520
Speaker 1: I can't go to last lap anymore. Are you in

329
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,399
Speaker 1: a relationship with someone that you're gonna trust because the

330
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,600
Speaker 1: girl now can't navigate Instagram because she met you on there.

331
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,760
Speaker 1: Imagine if your partner said that to you just because you,

332
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:52,920
Speaker 1: oh bitch and did.

333
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,879
Speaker 2: Like we had the conversation about me going into the

334
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,919
Speaker 2: sex club, me talking about guys being in there that

335
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 2: I had had any sort of interaction.

336
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,480
Speaker 3: With and it being a thing. But no, like that

337
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:04,800
Speaker 3: was the thing I had to say.

338
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,560
Speaker 1: I do think the sex feels a little different.

339
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 3: I mean not really if I walk into it.

340
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,159
Speaker 1: Well then and I changed it.

341
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:13,000
Speaker 2: I said, if I go into a goddamn party and

342
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,359
Speaker 2: a nigga is there that I fucked, you can't get

343
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,359
Speaker 2: mad because a nigga's in there that I fucked.

344
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,359
Speaker 1: I had a life before you.

345
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,199
Speaker 2: So that's why I brought up that if Instagram is

346
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,480
Speaker 2: being used as a dating app, that would be the

347
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:28,040
Speaker 2: only reason I could give him a pass on his

348
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:32,840
Speaker 2: insecurity of her still navigating it. However she does if

349
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,679
Speaker 2: she's used it that way in the past, which is

350
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 2: why I said, we would excuse hinge, we would excuse tender,

351
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,960
Speaker 2: we would excuse bumble because if partner being like delete

352
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:46,480
Speaker 2: those Sure, that's why I'm saying, I use Instagram the

353
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:50,600
Speaker 2: same way y'all niggas use hinge, bumble field and all.

354
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,440
Speaker 1: That has a dating purpose. But like that's the thing

355
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,200
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's playing Devil's advocate. I think

356
00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:01,360
Speaker 1: we all all know deleting and just way different from

357
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 1: making someone to lead a social media profile only.

358
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,639
Speaker 2: If But that's what I'm saying, No, no, no, no, I'm

359
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 2: I'm including.

360
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,560
Speaker 1: The details that if she has.

361
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:12,479
Speaker 2: Used Instagram to find partners in Dick, then she is

362
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,680
Speaker 2: using it is more than just a social media app.

363
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 3: She's using it as a platform to meet partners.

364
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,840
Speaker 1: But I I mean, unless your profile is looking for love,

365
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:27,760
Speaker 1: no like. But this is also the thing about having

366
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,880
Speaker 1: trust in people and talking about boundaries and what's required

367
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 1: before relationship starts. So you're writing us at the time

368
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,800
Speaker 1: where this is happening, and hopefully this episode comes out

369
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 1: before you talk to this niggas beach No, that's ally

370
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:45,440
Speaker 1: no or.

371
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,120
Speaker 2: What's gonna happen is she's gonna stay with him, She's

372
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 2: gonna get our book, No holds barred, and see that

373
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:57,640
Speaker 2: she stayed too long because girl, you're twenty four years

374
00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 2: You're twenty four years old.

375
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 1: You seeing eight months in seeing the.

376
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 2: Red flags wave, seeing the controlling behavior, seeing the insecurity,

377
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,200
Speaker 2: you deciding to say, I ain't gonna hold your sis.

378
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,200
Speaker 3: You can only be mad at yourself the same past

379
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:12,679
Speaker 3: this one bit.

380
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,240
Speaker 1: Let me tell my homegirl to look at this shit

381
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 1: right now because me and her arguing about her, Nigga,

382
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,560
Speaker 1: I'm not even playing with y'all. I just jumped on

383
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,359
Speaker 1: my phone. What fucking pages is that, bitch?

384
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:25,159
Speaker 3: That's the chapter. That's the chapter. That's the chapter.

385
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:30,400
Speaker 2: And if you haven't yet, make sure you pre oughta

386
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,320
Speaker 2: our book, No Holds bart a dual manifesto of sexual

387
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,600
Speaker 2: exploration and power.

388
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if you guys.

389
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:42,200
Speaker 2: Been listening and really know what's going on, but we

390
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,840
Speaker 2: created a masterclass around the book.

391
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,399
Speaker 3: We know you niggas like free shit, right, So we said, okay,

392
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 3: we got.

393
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 2: Them ordering a book that don't come out till June

394
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 2: twenty fourth, not gonna get today house till then, So

395
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 2: what can we give them to kind of hold them

396
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 2: over till the book release? And we created this master

397
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 2: class that is broken down into the same sections of

398
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,359
Speaker 2: the book you're going to learn some things about the book.

399
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 2: I take you through the dungeon that has actually talked

400
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,920
Speaker 2: about in the chapter Can I Put Your Penis in

401
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:15,080
Speaker 2: a cage? Weezy sits down with the matchmaker Maria that

402
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:19,040
Speaker 2: was just on a recent episode, and she also talks

403
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 2: about financial help from her sugar daddy. So there's like

404
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,560
Speaker 2: some financial worksheets in there. There's playlists to get over

405
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 2: a fuck nigga. The listener that's listening to our feedback

406
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 2: right now, when and if you break up with this man,

407
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 2: I got a playlist for you.

408
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: In our masterclass. Oh God.

409
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,959
Speaker 2: All you have to do is go to our Instagram page.

410
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 2: It's at Underscore Decisions Decisions. Click the link in our

411
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 2: bio and it literally says Masterclass form. All you have

412
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,679
Speaker 2: to do is upload a proof of purchase, so a

413
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 2: screenshot of your email showing that you purchase no holds barred,

414
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 2: and you'll automatically to get an email sent to you

415
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 2: with a one time use code to access the masterclass.

416
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 3: So make sure y'all do that.

417
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 2: We excited that we was able to get it to

418
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 2: y'all or whatever, but also continue to send your letters

419
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 2: in to you got Decisions email us Decisions pod at

420
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,680
Speaker 2: gmail dot com.

421
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:23,159
Speaker 1: Hopefully we helped you. Hopefully you got that.

422
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:27,400
Speaker 2: The final message of this shit is girte just leave him,

423
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 2: leave him and get you a new one.

424
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 1: Get you a new one is the theme of every

425
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:36,879
Speaker 1: letter anyway. Get you a new one, and ask about Drewski.

426
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,160
Speaker 2: Yes, all right, thank y'all for tuning in, and we'll

427
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:41,400
Speaker 2: see y'all next Wednesday.

428
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: Bye. Hey,