1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:13,320
Speaker 1: M h. Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast,

2
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:18,720
Speaker 1: a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all

3
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,400
Speaker 1: the small decisions we can make to become the best

4
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,760
Speaker 1: possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard

5
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:30,560
Speaker 1: and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more

6
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:34,640
Speaker 1: information or to find a therapist in your area, visit

7
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,760
Speaker 1: our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While

8
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,479
Speaker 1: I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast,

9
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,080
Speaker 1: it is not meant to be a substitute for relationship

10
00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:57,360
Speaker 1: with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so

11
00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,400
Speaker 1: much for joining me for such one of the Therapy

12
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:05,200
Speaker 1: for Black Girl's podcast. Given the start we've had, I

13
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:08,240
Speaker 1: thought it was probably time for another community check in,

14
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,360
Speaker 1: and we're gonna jump right into it right after this break.

15
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,080
Speaker 1: If you're listening to this on the day it's released,

16
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,760
Speaker 1: then it's inauguration day here in the US, and I

17
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:30,240
Speaker 1: don't know about you, but my nerves are shot. On

18
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:33,120
Speaker 1: one hand, I'm terribly excited to mark the end of

19
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,800
Speaker 1: this administration, but given the events of the past couple

20
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:41,000
Speaker 1: of weeks and reports of increased violence, I'm also really

21
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:44,320
Speaker 1: worried about whether everything will be able to go off safely.

22
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,160
Speaker 1: I also feel like the grief related to the lives

23
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:52,040
Speaker 1: we've lost in the pandemic becomes greater and greater every day,

24
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,040
Speaker 1: and though the vaccine is rolling out, there continue to

25
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,440
Speaker 1: be lots of questions about how all of this is

26
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,840
Speaker 1: gonna be handled. I share this because I know that

27
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,960
Speaker 1: I'm not alone in feeling this, And if you're feeling

28
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,480
Speaker 1: kind of down, are just not yourself? I want you

29
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:12,040
Speaker 1: to know there's nothing wrong with you. You are having

30
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:16,080
Speaker 1: a completely reasonable response. So what has been a plethora

31
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:20,280
Speaker 1: of traumatic experiences and circumstances that may have left you

32
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:26,280
Speaker 1: feeling angry, invalidated, scared, and probably lots of other things.

33
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,840
Speaker 1: If you're needing some help with extra ways to take

34
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:33,720
Speaker 1: care of yourself today and in the days ahead, here

35
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:37,480
Speaker 1: are a few things that just might help. Number one

36
00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:41,880
Speaker 1: will be especially important today, and that is it's okay

37
00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:46,320
Speaker 1: to not watch the inauguration activities live or at all.

38
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,680
Speaker 1: If you find yourself too worked up to be able

39
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,960
Speaker 1: to watch the events alive, it's okay to just watch

40
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,040
Speaker 1: the highlights later, or if you don't want to watch

41
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:59,760
Speaker 1: at all, that's cool too. There's no one way that

42
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,800
Speaker 1: you need to spend the day. Do what feels best

43
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:08,720
Speaker 1: for you. Number two, do your best to stay off

44
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:12,840
Speaker 1: social media. If you're not wanting to watch the inauguration

45
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:17,480
Speaker 1: activities live, it'll be hard to avoid updates online, so

46
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:23,320
Speaker 1: plan to disconnect for a few hours. Number three Get moving.

47
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,480
Speaker 1: It can be a walk around your block, a yoga workout,

48
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,600
Speaker 1: or even a dance party in your kitchen. The movement

49
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,760
Speaker 1: from doing something physical jolts our system and releases endorphins

50
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:40,280
Speaker 1: that help us to improve our mood. Number four, practice

51
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:44,440
Speaker 1: some mindfulness techniques. You heard Debbie Brown talk last week

52
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,760
Speaker 1: on the podcast about how mindfulness helps us to go

53
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:52,640
Speaker 1: inward even if there is chaos outside, and mindfulness is

54
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,880
Speaker 1: one of those things that helps us to strengthen our

55
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:58,080
Speaker 1: resilience muscle, which is what allows us to get through

56
00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:02,400
Speaker 1: difficult times. I'll link a couple of our favorite meditation

57
00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,680
Speaker 1: and mindfulness resources in the show notes, but I want

58
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,839
Speaker 1: you to remember that mindfulness practices become more effective with

59
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,240
Speaker 1: more practiced, so don't give up after the first try.

60
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:21,600
Speaker 1: Keep practicing. Number five dust off that Netflix, Hulu or

61
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:26,200
Speaker 1: Amazon Prime que. Some of the things I've watched recently

62
00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:30,280
Speaker 1: are planned to watch soon are bridget in One Night

63
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:34,080
Speaker 1: in Miami, the season premiere of Married at First Sight,

64
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:39,039
Speaker 1: The season is happening in Atlanta, Ships Creek, Blame Empire,

65
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,600
Speaker 1: and the most recent episode of This Is Us, which

66
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:47,679
Speaker 1: was incredible. Number six, order in or make your favorite

67
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:51,320
Speaker 1: foods if you have the bandwidth, make some of your

68
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,800
Speaker 1: favorite snack foods to graze on throughout the day, and

69
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:59,080
Speaker 1: make yourself or buy yourself a hearty dinner, and don't

70
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:03,680
Speaker 1: forget not to gimp on your dessert. Number seven, Stay

71
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:07,679
Speaker 1: engaged with your support system. Be honest with them about

72
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,760
Speaker 1: how you're feeling, and have a conversation about how you

73
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:15,080
Speaker 1: can support one another. If you prefer no inauguration talk,

74
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,920
Speaker 1: it's okay to say that. If you prefer to communicate

75
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,800
Speaker 1: only through hilarious memes, it's okay to say that too.

76
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,039
Speaker 1: My group chats have really been the m v P

77
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:29,760
Speaker 1: this past year, so make sure you're using yours as well.

78
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:37,760
Speaker 1: And number eight, remember to breathe when stress is high.

79
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:41,200
Speaker 1: Sometimes we hold our breath longer than normal, or we

80
00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:44,480
Speaker 1: hold tension in places like our jaw or shoulders are

81
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:48,080
Speaker 1: our Next, set a timer for yourself if necessary that

82
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,880
Speaker 1: reminds you to take a few deep breaths in and

83
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:54,080
Speaker 1: out and to release any tension you might be holding

84
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:59,320
Speaker 1: in your body. So I'm curious, are there other things

85
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,719
Speaker 1: that you've been doing recently they've been helping you to

86
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,680
Speaker 1: take care of yourself. Please share them with us on

87
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:09,320
Speaker 1: social media using the hashtag tv G in session, We'll

88
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,520
Speaker 1: take a quick break and we'll be back with some

89
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:22,960
Speaker 1: On the Porch questions. So I got a few messages

90
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,480
Speaker 1: asking me to bring back the On the Porch Questions,

91
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:29,520
Speaker 1: and tada, here we are. So if you're newer to

92
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,039
Speaker 1: the podcast, are On the Porch Questions or an opportunity

93
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:36,000
Speaker 1: for community members to submit a question or a situation

94
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:40,000
Speaker 1: that they like to have some feedback about. Just a reminder,

95
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:44,520
Speaker 1: my feedback does not constitute therapy or medical advice, and

96
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:49,520
Speaker 1: you're always, always, always encouraged to make the best possible

97
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:53,200
Speaker 1: decision you can for yourself. So if you have a question,

98
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,440
Speaker 1: you're welcome to send it to us at Therapy for

99
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,920
Speaker 1: Black Girls dot com slash mailbox, and I might be

100
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,159
Speaker 1: able to give you some feed back during an episode.

101
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,880
Speaker 1: So question number one comes from Tara, and all of

102
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:09,000
Speaker 1: these names are made up, so Tara asked, I've been

103
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,200
Speaker 1: with my partner five point five years. We've known each

104
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:16,920
Speaker 1: other sixteen years. We're unmarried with two small children. We've

105
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:20,920
Speaker 1: discussed marriage and the conversation seems promising, but year after

106
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,480
Speaker 1: year there's been no ring or proposal. I plan everything

107
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,680
Speaker 1: in my life and I'm very organized, and I had

108
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:31,000
Speaker 1: hoped this would happen at the latest year five. I

109
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:34,200
Speaker 1: love him and I'd like to stay, but also feel

110
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:37,520
Speaker 1: like I've lowered my expectations of myself, which has been

111
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,920
Speaker 1: affecting my mental health and self esteem. All of this

112
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,520
Speaker 1: has been discussed with him, which has led to arguments

113
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:47,040
Speaker 1: and negative thoughts of marriage on both ends. Is it

114
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:50,800
Speaker 1: time for me to leave? Should we try a couples therapy?

115
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,920
Speaker 1: And our overthinking or overreacting and need to go with

116
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,960
Speaker 1: the flow? I would really love advice, so thank you

117
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,880
Speaker 1: so much for your question, Tara, And like I mentioned earlier,

118
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,680
Speaker 1: it is important for you to make the best possible

119
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,920
Speaker 1: decision for yourself and for your life in this situation.

120
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,840
Speaker 1: So while I can't give you an answer about whether

121
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,600
Speaker 1: it's time to leave or not, here are a few

122
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,880
Speaker 1: things that I would encourage you to consider. So it

123
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,880
Speaker 1: sounds like you've been clear about the fact that you

124
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,640
Speaker 1: desire marriage. Why does it end in an argument every

125
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,160
Speaker 1: time you try to talk with him about your expectations

126
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:29,400
Speaker 1: for the relationship. What exactly are y'all not seeing eye

127
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,680
Speaker 1: to eye on? Is it that he wants more time

128
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:36,160
Speaker 1: before he decides on marriage. Does he feel like something

129
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:39,520
Speaker 1: else needs to happen before you all get engaged? Is

130
00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:44,840
Speaker 1: he opposed to marriage altogether? Also, what exactly do you

131
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,600
Speaker 1: mean when you say go with the flow? Do you

132
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:50,960
Speaker 1: mean have fewer expectations about what a proposal might look

133
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,640
Speaker 1: like or does that mean letting go of the idea

134
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:58,480
Speaker 1: of marriage altogether. Couple's counseling could be an option that

135
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,240
Speaker 1: you'd want to consider, but I first want you to

136
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:04,600
Speaker 1: be clear about your focus for going. If there are

137
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:07,240
Speaker 1: issues that you feel like would make your relationship stronger

138
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,400
Speaker 1: before marriage, then couples counseling very well might be a

139
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:13,520
Speaker 1: great option for you, But you probably don't want to

140
00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:16,320
Speaker 1: think about counseling as a space that's going to convince

141
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,960
Speaker 1: your partner that marriage needs to happen. If he's not

142
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,280
Speaker 1: already committed to that idea, that's probably not going to happen.

143
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,920
Speaker 1: In counseling. I don't think it's overreacting at all to

144
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:29,520
Speaker 1: make your expectations known. That's actually a very healthy quality

145
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:33,760
Speaker 1: in a relationship. Finally, I'd like you to consider how

146
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:38,120
Speaker 1: you envision this playing out. If you continue to assert

147
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,360
Speaker 1: your needs and they continue to be met with an argument,

148
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,200
Speaker 1: what are you willing to change on your end? Because

149
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:48,960
Speaker 1: we know we don't have control over anyone except ourselves.

150
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,920
Speaker 1: So if you continue to find yourself in this space

151
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:55,600
Speaker 1: that you find frustrating, remember that you always have the

152
00:09:55,640 --> 00:10:00,080
Speaker 1: power to choose to react or do something differently. I

153
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,720
Speaker 1: hope this helps Terra. Question number two comes from Kindra.

154
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:09,679
Speaker 1: Kindred writes, how do I manage my emotions like anxiety, perfectionism,

155
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:13,080
Speaker 1: and depression when applying for new jobs and returning to

156
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,200
Speaker 1: the workforce after a period of unemployment six months are

157
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:20,199
Speaker 1: longer and after a history of terrible bosses are companies?

158
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,160
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for your question, Kindra. So in

159
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,880
Speaker 1: the job search process, I think it's really important to

160
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:30,760
Speaker 1: remember that so often, sadly, getting a job is a

161
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,720
Speaker 1: numbers game and speaks really more to who you're connected with,

162
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,680
Speaker 1: far more than whether you're the most qualified one for

163
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,719
Speaker 1: the job, So I think you want to just be

164
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:44,679
Speaker 1: careful not to equate the job you do with the

165
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:49,080
Speaker 1: person that you are. You are worthy and wonderful and

166
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:54,160
Speaker 1: magnificent simply because you exist. Your job is simply how

167
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,439
Speaker 1: you make money to pay bills and live in the world,

168
00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:00,240
Speaker 1: but it doesn't define you. So when you at the

169
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,600
Speaker 1: rejection letters or you don't hear back from people, I

170
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,320
Speaker 1: want you to work really hard on not letting that

171
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,960
Speaker 1: become an indictment on you, and more an indictment on

172
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,920
Speaker 1: the processes that are very, very broken. If you can,

173
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,840
Speaker 1: I'd encourage you to work with a career coach or

174
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,400
Speaker 1: someone who helps make resumes shine so that it speaks

175
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:24,440
Speaker 1: clearly to your history and your skills. And then I

176
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,920
Speaker 1: want you to let as many people as possible know

177
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,720
Speaker 1: what kind of work you're looking for, share it on

178
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:33,440
Speaker 1: social media, tell your friends about it, and tell any

179
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:37,679
Speaker 1: old co workers that you're still close with. Again, remember,

180
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:40,600
Speaker 1: finding a job is often a numbers game, so increase

181
00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:44,000
Speaker 1: your chances by having as many people as possible keeping

182
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,400
Speaker 1: their eyes open for you. I'm not sure why you've

183
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,560
Speaker 1: not been working for some time, but given everything that's

184
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,840
Speaker 1: been happening in the past year, I think that companies,

185
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,360
Speaker 1: or at least I hope that companies, are being more

186
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:01,240
Speaker 1: flexible in terms of gaps and employment. And also, within

187
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,600
Speaker 1: this context, know that there are many more people looking

188
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,080
Speaker 1: for jobs. So I think that all of this really

189
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,240
Speaker 1: underscores that there may be many reasons why you might

190
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,560
Speaker 1: not get a job that have absolutely nothing to do

191
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,880
Speaker 1: with you. So I don't want you to be overly

192
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:20,200
Speaker 1: critical of yourself or demeaning of yourself. Understand that this

193
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,800
Speaker 1: is often a game that we're playing a lot of

194
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,160
Speaker 1: times when we're applying for jobs, So do what you

195
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:30,160
Speaker 1: can in terms of completing applications, and remember to be

196
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:34,560
Speaker 1: gentle with yourself in the process. Also, because of everything

197
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,840
Speaker 1: that's happening, i'd encourage you to shoot for jobs outside

198
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,200
Speaker 1: of your local area, since many more jobs are remote

199
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,120
Speaker 1: now or allowing people to work from wherever. There may

200
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,600
Speaker 1: be some opportunities that open up to you that you

201
00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:52,280
Speaker 1: hadn't considered before. Good luck with your search. Question number

202
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:56,920
Speaker 1: three comes from Diane. Diane rites, how do I tell

203
00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,240
Speaker 1: my friends and family when their emotional baggage becomes too

204
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:04,360
Speaker 1: much on my mental health? For example, my best friend

205
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,600
Speaker 1: calls me every day to talk about her relationship problems,

206
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:11,400
Speaker 1: are other problems she has, and the entire conversation is

207
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:15,040
Speaker 1: about her. Thank you so much for your question, Diane.

208
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,600
Speaker 1: So this sounds like an excellent opportunity for you to

209
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,120
Speaker 1: practice some boundary setting. I wonder what it would be

210
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,920
Speaker 1: like to have a conversation with your best friend, letting

211
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,160
Speaker 1: her know how it feels when she only calls to

212
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,959
Speaker 1: talk about herself. I imagine it might be hurtful, or

213
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,560
Speaker 1: you might be feeling resentful, whatever it is you're feeling,

214
00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:37,080
Speaker 1: I'd encourage you to let her know how her behavior

215
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,240
Speaker 1: leaves you feeling, and then suggests what you'd like to

216
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,720
Speaker 1: see moving forward. Are you fine with her talking about

217
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,640
Speaker 1: her stuff as long as she gives you space to

218
00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:48,880
Speaker 1: talk about yours. Would you like to hear less about

219
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:53,120
Speaker 1: her relationship problems? How would you like things to be different?

220
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,560
Speaker 1: Once you've had that conversation, then pay attention to whether

221
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,520
Speaker 1: you see a change in behavior. Are your needs being

222
00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:04,360
Speaker 1: taken into consideration or is she still only talking about herself.

223
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,680
Speaker 1: If so, you may need to take different measures to

224
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:11,480
Speaker 1: protect your energy, perhaps by not answering every time she calls,

225
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,640
Speaker 1: or stating that you only have fifteen minutes to chat.

226
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,920
Speaker 1: It's your responsibility to gorge your time and energy. And

227
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,360
Speaker 1: if you make it clear how you expect someone to

228
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,760
Speaker 1: engage with you and they don't respect it, then it's

229
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,720
Speaker 1: okay to do what you need to do to make

230
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:30,360
Speaker 1: sure that you're protecting your time and energy. The work

231
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:34,440
Speaker 1: doesn't end just by telling others or demonstrating what our

232
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:39,240
Speaker 1: boundaries are. Often the harder work is in enforcing it.

233
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:44,280
Speaker 1: I hope this helps Diane. If you have a question

234
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,120
Speaker 1: you'd like some feedback about, or a topic you'd like

235
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,320
Speaker 1: to have discussed on the podcast, send it to us

236
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:53,680
Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash mailbox and

237
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:57,880
Speaker 1: it just might be covered in an episode. Don't forget that.

238
00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,520
Speaker 1: If you're looking for a therapist in your area, be

239
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,800
Speaker 1: sure to check out our therapist directory at Therapy for

240
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:07,720
Speaker 1: Black Girls dot com slash directory. And if you want

241
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:11,440
Speaker 1: to continue digging into this topic or just being community

242
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,240
Speaker 1: with other sisters, come on over and join us in

243
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,760
Speaker 1: the Yellow Couch Collective. It's our cozy corner of the

244
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,760
Speaker 1: Internet designed just for black women. You can join us

245
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,760
Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash y c C.

246
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,800
Speaker 1: Thank y'all so much. For joining me again this week.

247
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,880
Speaker 1: I look forward to continue in this conversation with you

248
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,680
Speaker 1: all real soon. Take good care,