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Speaker 1: Speaks to the planet.

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Speaker 2: I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God and

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Speaker 2: guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the

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Speaker 2: third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming

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Speaker 2: back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman

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Speaker 2: Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions, Man,

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Speaker 2: DyB and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and B

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Speaker 2: Money podcast with taking Jay Valentine.

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Speaker 1: We got the Woman of All.

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Speaker 2: Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts, we got Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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Speaker 2: Carrie Champion will be there with her next sports podcast

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Speaker 2: and the Trap Nerds podcast with more to be announced.

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Speaker 2: And of course it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the

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Speaker 2: Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses, plus the food

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Speaker 2: truck court to keep you fed while you visit us.

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Speaker 1: All right, listen, you don't want to miss this.

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Speaker 2: Tap in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect

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Speaker 2: dot Com Flash Podcast Festival.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say

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Speaker 3: the decisions.

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Speaker 1: It sounded like you.

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Speaker 4: Was talking to person you definitely say to Welcome, Welcome

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Speaker 4: to the new podcast. How are you want to say together,

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Speaker 4: the decisions decisions us.

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Speaker 3: What y'all, We are back on the road. That's right,

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Speaker 3: No Holds Barred.

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Speaker 5: The Live tour is coming to you live and we

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Speaker 5: are so so excited.

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Speaker 3: Don't worry.

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Speaker 4: It's not gonna be some boring book club where you're

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Speaker 4: just sitting there with us reading. You know, we're gonna

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Speaker 4: turn this shit up.

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Speaker 3: That's right.

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Speaker 5: We're bringing No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual

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Speaker 5: exploration and power to Life, and tickets are on sale

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Speaker 5: this week for.

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Speaker 3: Our patrons only.

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Speaker 5: You get early access on Wednesday, so make sure you

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Speaker 5: hit that Patreon app and get your code for early access.

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Speaker 5: Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Disizy Oons Disisy Owns.

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Speaker 4: I'm your ger Mandy b I'm weazy, and you know

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Speaker 4: it's crazy to have a couple that aren't known for sex,

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Speaker 4: clothes and shit like ceting normal people today. It's just

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Speaker 4: we are normal subjective. Oh that's right, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 5: Normal in this economy is not having more than two children,

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Speaker 5: and they have six.

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Speaker 3: So I was looking at the club like one.

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Speaker 4: By the way, I have to give you all your

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Speaker 4: props for being celebrities.

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Speaker 3: Eight minutes late on time. That's great. That is crazy.

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Speaker 3: She calling him out for being late.

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Speaker 1: And you know what, it wasn't that bad, you know

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Speaker 1: when I actually I will say it. I have a

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Speaker 1: cyber truck right and coming through Brooklyn and the Cyba truck.

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Speaker 1: I got every middle finger here, I got some whole

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Speaker 1: cursing me out standing in front of me.

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Speaker 3: Put a dick on his car? What a swastika on it?

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Speaker 1: Nobody put a dick on my car. Books, but like

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Speaker 1: they really upset. They act like like I bought it

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Speaker 1: from Eline himself, like you know, but so that's coming

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Speaker 1: to Brooklyn.

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Speaker 5: You know what's crazy though, having that conversation with how

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Speaker 5: much I mean also, Brooklyn's like one of the most

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Speaker 5: like progressive burrows. Now, so like niggas ain't what's crazy

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Speaker 5: is everyone who's suck up your middle finger.

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Speaker 3: Guess what. I bet they check every morning their ex account.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure because I have.

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Speaker 4: A Tessela in La and I was like, damn, this

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Speaker 4: isn't happening to me and my homegirls, like brocause we

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Speaker 4: all got teslas in La. Everything's electric. You get the

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Speaker 4: extra tax credit from it. She's like, so we hate him,

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Speaker 4: but there's too many of it here to see. A

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Speaker 4: cyber truck is like, you know, you staring that.

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Speaker 1: He gave me middle fingers when one guy standing in

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Speaker 1: front of me the whole time like I'm not gonna move.

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Speaker 1: I'm like Jesus, I'm like, you know, like I.

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Speaker 3: Would have rolled down the window. Do you know where

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Speaker 3: I am?

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Speaker 1: This is my mind is so you can't even see

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Speaker 1: the side. This is old school Brooklyn. Like if this

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Speaker 1: would have been old school Brooklyn, I could have got out,

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Speaker 1: We could have got to a fight and I would

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Speaker 1: have made it on time.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Now and now we get sees my wife got on heel.

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Speaker 4: So we just real life, real family. So this is

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Speaker 4: your second book introduced them.

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Speaker 6: This girl, I'm just so he got dj Envy and

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Speaker 6: Ga in the building.

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Speaker 5: Now she said, uh, dj imvy like how they stayed

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Speaker 5: on the breakfast Gay and dj.

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Speaker 3: Youn't even never forgot messed up?

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Speaker 1: And that did it?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I did? What did they?

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Speaker 1: He said? My girl dj MV? He said, my girl

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Speaker 1: a lot, my girl dj MV. She dj MV, Like

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Speaker 1: you mess it up with us?

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Speaker 3: But didn't you know who y'all was at that point?

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Speaker 1: And you know the funny thing. He wasn't playing like,

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Speaker 1: he was just really reading it. And I guess maybe

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Speaker 1: he was drunk, or maybe it's just just webby, but

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Speaker 1: he did it for at least twenty minutes. It said

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Speaker 1: the wrong names for twenty.

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Speaker 4: Minutes, the grass like Loves of Sloopers like I played

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Speaker 4: that probably every few years just for fun.

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Speaker 1: I love it well and.

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Speaker 3: I love that we have y'all here. You guys have

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Speaker 3: a book coming out this week.

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Speaker 1: Guys, I love it.

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Speaker 5: It's your second book, so the first one Real Life,

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Speaker 5: Real Love.

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Speaker 3: And we'll talk about that because real love?

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Speaker 1: What is that? Okay?

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Speaker 3: What are you dead? And now you have real life,

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Speaker 3: real family family? What is that?

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Speaker 7: Hone?

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Speaker 5: And what made you guys decide to do a second

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Speaker 5: one after the first one? Y'all just loved the process

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Speaker 5: of it. Didn't make y'all closer after the first one, Like.

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Speaker 1: All of the BUP, I think real Life, Real Love.

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Speaker 1: We actually should have came here for that one because

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Speaker 1: it was all about our relationship. It was it was

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Speaker 1: all about our relationship. If you don't know, Gi and

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Speaker 1: I've been together thirty one years, we've been married twenty four,

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Speaker 1: so you know we've had everything, ups, downs, left rights, like,

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Speaker 1: we deal with everything when it came to love, And

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Speaker 1: people always ask, you know, why were you guys so vulnerable?

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Speaker 1: Why did y'all tell so much? But I tell people

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Speaker 1: all the time. So many people are going through it,

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Speaker 1: and kind of like this podcast, people are scared to

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Speaker 1: talk about it.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I thought he was saying, we're going through a girl.

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Speaker 4: We alreat every damn about.

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Speaker 5: I'm curious. You're a mom and a wife. You wrote

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Speaker 5: about both of those roles. Which one was harder.

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Speaker 8: Oh, that's a good question and a unique question. No

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Speaker 8: one's ever try journal.

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Speaker 3: Yes, being a wife. Being a wife is harder than

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Speaker 3: my wife.

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Speaker 8: Is more difficult than being a mom. As a mother,

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Speaker 8: things come to you naturally, and not that you always

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Speaker 8: get it right. But there's this inherent feeling, this inherent

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Speaker 8: inclination to nurture, to care, to love individuals that inherently

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Speaker 8: love you back. Right, So you're not dealing with a

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Speaker 8: full fledged adult who may have their own issues or

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Speaker 8: their own problems that they're bringing into a relationship where

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Speaker 8: the two of you have to become one and then

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Speaker 8: create a family. So one is a lot more pure

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Speaker 8: and untainted than the other.

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Speaker 5: She is saving the kids, not the husband, if she

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Speaker 5: said she But okay, I love that answer.

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Speaker 4: That's got me curious because we hear so much when

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Speaker 4: moms are saying like, once you get past.

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Speaker 3: Two or three, like it gets easier.

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Speaker 4: Once you get past two or three, it gets harder

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Speaker 4: to be a wife, but to be a mom of

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Speaker 4: six still, a mom of six is easier.

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Speaker 8: Yes, yes, well it's difficulty at this point. Neither are

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Speaker 8: difficult because we've weathered those storms, We've done all of

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Speaker 8: the grunt work, and we've got it figured out.

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Speaker 4: How many years, on average does it take to get

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Speaker 4: to that point. My parents have been together thirty five years,

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Speaker 4: and I felt like when I was a kid and

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Speaker 4: I'm thirty four. When I was a kid, they stopped

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Speaker 4: arguing right around thirteen fourteen. Oh wow, it wasn't bad argument.

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Speaker 4: They just would bicker a lot. But I just remember

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Speaker 4: after that, I've never seen them argue.

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Speaker 3: There's no time. There's no time.

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Speaker 8: It's when that brick falls out of the sky and

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Speaker 8: hits you on the head and lets you know the

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Speaker 8: things that you need to know to be a conducive

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Speaker 8: part of a lifelong relationship. And some people it takes

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Speaker 8: longer than others. For us, I think that we got it.

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Speaker 8: I think we got it, got it with no facades,

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Speaker 8: with no pretense, with no smoke and mirrors, like really

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Speaker 8: really really got it about thirteen or fourteen years ago,

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Speaker 8: and go go.

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Speaker 3: But you met in high school though, right exactly a

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Speaker 3: little bit.

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Speaker 8: Our situation is very, very unique. We've been together since

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Speaker 8: I was fifteen and he was sixteen. Jesus, so we

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Speaker 8: were babies. We were babies, and we've never broken up.

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Speaker 3: We've never had no real playgroup day. You don't any

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Speaker 3: family can ask anything.

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Speaker 1: No, I haven't.

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Speaker 8: Oh wow, he's the only one that I've seen three

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Speaker 8: daring that.

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Speaker 3: He's the only one saying that they didn't believe you.

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Speaker 3: And honestly, people said that they didn't believe like it

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Speaker 3: was in the reddit, like there's no not.

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Speaker 4: I really love it because I like to like deep

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Speaker 4: dive shows, white Lotus whatever. But I remember when I

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Speaker 4: saw that, and I was like, that's kind of surprising

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Speaker 4: to me because if if in true you're getting famous

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Speaker 4: as you know, early twenties, how the fuck am I

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Speaker 4: gonna be out here as floor and like everybody knows

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Speaker 4: my man, And I think it's as normal for like.

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Speaker 3: I think, not exploring like she and would you be

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Speaker 3: everyone knows.

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Speaker 4: The man, Like I'm saying, if you've been together that

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Speaker 4: long and people are saying, there's no way he's the

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Speaker 4: only person. If you're with someone who's in the spotlight,

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Speaker 4: how can you do that? Maybe a normal relationship, shit

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Speaker 4: like that could go on, but like, no, because it

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Speaker 4: really makes both parties look crazy.

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Speaker 8: You know what.

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Speaker 3: You can't just sneak around.

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Speaker 1: They're gonna be like, but.

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Speaker 8: If I'm being honest with you, I never wanted to.

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Speaker 8: I'm not that type of person. I'm a very, very

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Speaker 8: loyal person in all forms of life, to my husband,

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Speaker 8: to my children, to my friends. I'm a loyal person.

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Speaker 8: If there's a moment that I intend on stepping out

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Speaker 8: or being with someone else, or doing something that I

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Speaker 8: want to do, I feel that as a human being,

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Speaker 8: I have the right and the power to say so

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Speaker 8: and to let you know up front I would never

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Speaker 8: go behind his back and do anything, and I never have,

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Speaker 8: which is why with the success of real life, real love,

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Speaker 8: no one's ever come out period.

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Speaker 3: Nothing.

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Speaker 5: You already know as soon as you start doing the

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Speaker 5: holier than that, or God or so people like to

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Speaker 5: come out like of course, especially.

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Speaker 9: Like friends with next friends, your sister, uncle, somebody would

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Speaker 9: have come like.

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Speaker 3: Hey, nobody came out. I know Aquarius, Okay, I'm what

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Speaker 3: yours Virgo? Aquarius and Virgo like it?

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Speaker 4: You know something, I don't know anything that's completely clueless.

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Speaker 4: I don't even know what I'm supposed to be like

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Speaker 4: doing we one sex question, but this is my first one.

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Speaker 4: So what's the longest spurt that you guys didn't have sex?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 3: Was it related to baby, hard time? Whatever?

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Speaker 1: It was having a baby, having a child.

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Speaker 8: I think yeah, the longest time that we went without

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Speaker 8: having sex was told to me by my doctor. So

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Speaker 8: I think it's after you have a baby. You think

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Speaker 8: i'd have this would be ingrained by now.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, they say six weeks, six six weeks.

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Speaker 3: I think six weeks week, give birth every every night

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Speaker 3: the night halfway cheated that way. Yeah, everyone with all

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Speaker 3: sex for six weeks.

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Speaker 1: Why would we go long them?

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Speaker 8: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Do you know how many people are together and married

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Speaker 5: and have kids and say, like the the amount of

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Speaker 5: times that they have sex drastically decreases after babies are

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Speaker 5: born after being together for so long.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying I would say this pregnancy you

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Speaker 1: can curse. I'm about to say pregnancy pussy is the best, right.

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Speaker 5: That's great, okay, But everything that is because am I

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Speaker 5: never gonna have that's pussy, It's wetter, is juicy, or

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Speaker 5: it's everything that you can imagine it is when it comes.

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Speaker 3: To that, our baby, pregnancy body body is so sexy.

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Speaker 1: So it's like when people say that sex has declined, right,

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Speaker 1: and no disrespect to anybody, I'm not bragging, but look

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Speaker 1: at my wife right here. She looks like this all

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Speaker 1: the time. So I want to knock off all the

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Speaker 1: time when I wake up, when I see uh, when

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Speaker 1: she's eating, when she's taking the kids. Everything is sexy

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Speaker 1: to me. So it's like the only the biggest problem

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Speaker 1: we have now is all our kids want to sleep

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Speaker 1: in our bed. That is the biggest problem we have now.

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Speaker 1: So it's like we can't get it in. So it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, well, we'll go to a dance competition and

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Speaker 1: we got to bring our kids downstairs for dance. We'll

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Speaker 1: go upstairs and get it in for like thirty quick

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Speaker 1: minutes day, come right down like that. That's what it is.

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Speaker 1: But you got to You also got to think. We

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Speaker 1: went to high school together right the college we went.

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Speaker 1: I went to Hampton, she went to Old Dominion, which

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Speaker 1: is fifteen minutes away go from Virginia. And when we graduated,

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Speaker 1: we got married at like twenty two. We bought our

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Speaker 1: first house at twenty three.

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Speaker 3: Wow, it's amazing.

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Speaker 1: So we've been together that long until where we are now.

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Speaker 1: But so we've never said paraded. There's never been a break.

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Speaker 1: And the only breaks we've had is if I'm on

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Speaker 1: tour when I DJ for FAB back in the day

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Speaker 1: and I might have left for whatever it may be,

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Speaker 1: but I still came back on the weekend. So we're

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Speaker 1: always on top of each other, like we we are.

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Speaker 1: I mean, six kids, that's it.

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Speaker 9: You know.

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Speaker 3: I recently saw something.

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Speaker 4: I've been dating somebody for the last two years, and

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Speaker 4: someone said we were code dependent, like we hang out

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Speaker 4: a lot. I was supposed to be in LA for

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Speaker 4: a week. After three days, He's like, I'm coming. Other

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Speaker 4: than that, I want to see you. And I realized

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Speaker 4: we spend so much time together, and I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 4: is this bad? Should I be given in space? And

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Speaker 4: I saw a video I can't remember. I think they

295
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Speaker 4: were on Shan Boody's podcast, and he was like, our

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Speaker 4: codependency works for us, Like this isn't considered needy because

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Speaker 4: we enjoy.

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Speaker 3: This type of space.

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Speaker 4: Do you think that's what keeps you fucking all the

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Speaker 4: time because people been missing each other, it makes you crazier.

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Speaker 1: But you know what, our relationship is different, like even

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Speaker 1: from our friends or people that talk about it, Like

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Speaker 1: we are on top of each other all the time.

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Speaker 1: Like when I get off of work, when I get

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Speaker 1: off the breakfast club and I'm driving home, I'm talking

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Speaker 1: her on the way home in the morning. When she's

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Speaker 1: up at five in the morning, I'm talking on the

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Speaker 1: way home. Like we are constantly talking to each other.

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Speaker 1: But it's to the point and I know people say it,

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Speaker 1: but it's she's my best friend. So it's like, if

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Speaker 1: you tell me something that's not supposed to be told,

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Speaker 1: she's gonna know. That's that's how our relationship is. Like

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Speaker 1: I tell everybody all the time, if you tell me,

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Speaker 1: he is gonna know, even if it's one of my fellas,

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Speaker 1: one of my partners that's doing something. Wow, she knows

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Speaker 1: the same thing with her, like she would have conversations

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Speaker 1: and it'd be wild, and she'll tell me it's just what.

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Speaker 3: My friends know.

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Speaker 8: Like, if you tell me, you know, there's gonna be

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Speaker 8: some pillow talk. There's gonna be a power with your friend.

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Speaker 8: He's gonna know your business.

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Speaker 5: A time where because you over shared your friend's business,

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Speaker 5: either of you didn't want your partner hanging with that

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Speaker 5: person anymore.

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Speaker 8: No, you know how they say, like if you're in

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Speaker 8: a bad part of town and you get robbed, it's

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Speaker 8: like respect the joke.

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Speaker 3: It's like I never heard it.

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Speaker 8: No, it's like it's like it's some it's it's some

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Speaker 8: mess up stuff, but you gotta respect it because you

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Speaker 8: should know what comes with the territory.

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Speaker 3: Oh, that's pretty much what she said. You have some

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Speaker 3: how ask friends what it is?

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Speaker 2: What it is?

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Speaker 8: Yeah, So if I tell you something that you really

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Speaker 8: have no business knowing, you have to respect it because

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Speaker 8: it should have been kept from you in the first place.

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Speaker 8: So if you feel some type of way that I'm

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Speaker 8: not gonna appreciate.

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Speaker 3: Keep it to yourself.

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Speaker 8: Don't have met me any residual energy, because if you do,

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Speaker 8: then I'm never going to tell you anything again.

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Speaker 3: You got to respect it.

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Speaker 1: I'm not mad at that and my single friends fuck

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Speaker 1: with you like they when we go to the club

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Speaker 1: and I'm dj in, she'd be like, yo, that one

347
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Speaker 1: right there, because she's fine, you need to get that

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Speaker 1: one right there.

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Speaker 3: Fun girls, you're turning into the wife. Yeah, So we debate.

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Speaker 4: I'm curious to know what y'all think, and like great

351
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,040
Speaker 4: points on both sides, because Mandy's like a lot of

352
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Speaker 4: these men look for a woman that is well to do,

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Speaker 4: not leaving the house, and then they be in the

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Speaker 4: clubs having fun with everybody else. Right on the contrary,

355
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Speaker 4: which that is true, I kind of feel like a

356
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Speaker 4: lot of the fun girls that were out turned into wives.

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Speaker 4: Do you think there needs to be a blend, like

358
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Speaker 4: if she wasn't this cool?

359
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Speaker 1: Like absolutely, you know, yeah, my wife has to come

360
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,160
Speaker 1: out with me, like we have fun, Like we go

361
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Speaker 1: to the clubs. We you know, we'll go to the

362
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Speaker 1: Jamaica back. Yeah, we go to ship clubs and like

363
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Speaker 1: we have fun. Like it's not one of them things

364
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Speaker 1: that like, oh we have six kids with boogie, you know,

365
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Speaker 1: we go and we party and my kids are twenty

366
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Speaker 1: one of my oldest twenty three and twenty one. They

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Speaker 1: come with us.

368
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Speaker 3: I didn't saw you DJing in Netflix event when your

369
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Speaker 3: daughter was there.

370
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Speaker 1: Yes, And I was like, my daughter, my dad only

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Speaker 1: likes to go out with me because she's like, no,

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Speaker 1: I have more time fun with my dad, Like my dad, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: giving a lot, I'm giving a line. Even my son,

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Speaker 1: my son FaceTime of the other day, he's at Club

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Speaker 1: Live with fifty and he's in the section with fifty

376
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Speaker 1: next to fifty. Fifty gives them a thousand singles to

377
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Speaker 1: throw out the strippers. They went to the club eleven after.

378
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,680
Speaker 1: I got to say at let because there ain't no

379
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Speaker 1: strippers that live. Said yeah, I said, look how many?

380
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Speaker 1: How many singles you left with? He was like, well,

381
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Speaker 1: I left with like four hundred because you know I

382
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,200
Speaker 1: only threw six hundred and fifty left. I'm like, I

383
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:52,720
Speaker 1: put these four.

384
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Speaker 8: Hundred and.

385
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Speaker 3: Not keeping the money.

386
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Speaker 5: Yeah, throws allowing you to take money from fifteen.

387
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Speaker 4: Is there any part where it's like, oh my god,

388
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Speaker 4: this is so embarrassing because my dad's teaching.

389
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:08,040
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he's always embarrassed. Oh yeah, the breakfast club

390
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,879
Speaker 1: embarrassing is out of him. Like like you know, when

391
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,760
Speaker 1: charlomonne plays those games, he'd being batted all the time.

392
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Speaker 3: You gotta get it way worse.

393
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,560
Speaker 1: Than you what it is. My Madison doesn't give, she

394
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,680
Speaker 1: doesn't care, but Logan, he'll send me a meme that

395
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,200
Speaker 1: he'll see the meme online. When Charlemagne gave me the

396
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:25,919
Speaker 1: butt cake, he'll send me a picture of butt kill.

397
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Speaker 3: You know you have a son, kid in college, kid

398
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,520
Speaker 3: in high school. You got to talk about asses all

399
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Speaker 3: the time, crazy.

400
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:36,880
Speaker 1: All the time.

401
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,480
Speaker 5: I want to have some fun with y'all with our

402
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,120
Speaker 5: hypothetical sections. I picked out a question.

403
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:47,480
Speaker 3: For each of you.

404
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,960
Speaker 5: Okay, so Ivy, yes, one of your kids is actually

405
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 5: a genius time traveler from the future said to fix

406
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,040
Speaker 5: your parenting?

407
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:57,399
Speaker 3: Which kid is it?

408
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,639
Speaker 1: And what do they want to change? No, got you

409
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,600
Speaker 1: as the kid that's going to fix my parents, and

410
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 1: I would say has to be Jackson. Okay, Jackson.

411
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:07,520
Speaker 3: Jackson.

412
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:11,160
Speaker 1: Jackson is ten years old. He is my second boy.

413
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,960
Speaker 1: I only have two boys and four girls. But the

414
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,600
Speaker 1: reason I say that is I don't have patience. Okay, right,

415
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,760
Speaker 1: I tell everybody all the time. My dad is retired

416
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,800
Speaker 1: police officer, he's ex military, so it was always his

417
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 1: way or the highway, okay, and I don't have patience

418
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:26,439
Speaker 1: and I'm the one that be like, go do it now,

419
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,960
Speaker 1: go do that. And he is the one that it

420
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,960
Speaker 1: doesn't matter if I yelled at him or not, if

421
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,840
Speaker 1: I'm angry or not. He's the one to be like, Dad,

422
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,440
Speaker 1: are you okay? Dad? Would you like something? Would you

423
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,840
Speaker 1: like a beverage right now? To cool you down?

424
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,719
Speaker 3: Cold? Dad? Would you like to take a nap right now?

425
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:42,119
Speaker 2: Like?

426
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:44,480
Speaker 1: He is that kid and he talks to me like that, Well,

427
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,440
Speaker 1: you can't get mad. He's like, you just gotta start laughing.

428
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,640
Speaker 1: So I think that would be the kid.

429
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,000
Speaker 3: You look like you kind of had a different answer

430
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,360
Speaker 3: or what. I definitely thought that he was going to say,

431
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 3: my oldest son Logan. Okay, I did too.

432
00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:01,440
Speaker 8: I'm yeah yeah, because him and Logan beef all the time,

433
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 8: all the time, all the time.

434
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:06,040
Speaker 3: So that y'all are a lot of like like it.

435
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,560
Speaker 5: Like most kids too, beef with their parents is because

436
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,200
Speaker 5: a lot of times they just see each other in

437
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,159
Speaker 5: their in themselves and this sometimes the worst characteristics of

438
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 5: each other, Like fuck, I got this from you.

439
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:17,480
Speaker 1: Damn you are me right?

440
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?

441
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,520
Speaker 1: Now we're not we're like where he he's a hustler,

442
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,240
Speaker 1: like he goes out. He knows what he wants to do.

443
00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,840
Speaker 1: He doesn't stop. He likes to grind. But he's like

444
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 1: his mom. When I say his mom, like, if you

445
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 1: ever argue with somebody and somebody's an attorney, like they

446
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,040
Speaker 1: have every fact. That was like they were waiting for

447
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 1: that argument. Oh right, So it was like, we're you

448
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,359
Speaker 1: getta argument. She start hitting. In fact, remember what you

449
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 1: did in nineteen thirty two when you was like when

450
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,440
Speaker 1: he was a slave, Like that's Gid, that is good.

451
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:48,920
Speaker 1: That is crazy Loagan. So ever, since I can't beat yeah,

452
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,919
Speaker 1: I know I could be Logan. So that that's why

453
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 1: I would say, Okay.

454
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:56,040
Speaker 3: Gia, yours is in another universe. You and Envy are

455
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 3: both eighteen again.

456
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,879
Speaker 5: Okay, but you live through all of the chaos of

457
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:03,119
Speaker 5: young adulthood again, so bad apartments, terrible jobs, the.

458
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 3: Ram and dinners.

459
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,840
Speaker 5: Would you relive those years again in order to make changes?

460
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,920
Speaker 5: If so, what changes would you make? And if not,

461
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,639
Speaker 5: which chaotic moments do you believe were necessary to get

462
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:14,479
Speaker 5: y'all where you are now?

463
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 8: So my answer to your question is that I wouldn't

464
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:26,200
Speaker 8: change anything because I'm not a big believer in regret. Okay,

465
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,159
Speaker 8: because I'm one of those people and my son Logan,

466
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,960
Speaker 8: if you were here, like, I know what she's about

467
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 8: to say. I'm one of those people that believe that

468
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 8: everything truly does happen for a reason, okay, And I

469
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 8: believe that there's so much wisdom and so much lessons

470
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 8: in the mistakes and in the bad things that happen

471
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,880
Speaker 8: to us that you can't learn unless you go through them.

472
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:52,640
Speaker 8: There's so much to be said about understanding someone else

473
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 8: because you know someone will be going through something terrible

474
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,880
Speaker 8: and you say, oh, no, I understand. You really don't, right,

475
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,879
Speaker 8: you really don't. You under stand as much as you

476
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:05,200
Speaker 8: can possibly understand, how going through it right yourself. Yeah,

477
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,159
Speaker 8: but you never really understand. So for me it might

478
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 8: sound a little crazy, but I like to collect bad experiences.

479
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 8: Because you said that before out loud.

480
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, wow, I'm just thinking that's such a sentence.

481
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 3: I like to collect bad experience.

482
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,560
Speaker 8: No, that's the first time I think I've ever said it.

483
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 8: I've never been asked that question. Feel that in a

484
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 8: sense in a sense because it gives me a certain

485
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 8: level of compassion and empathy for others. Because the more

486
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 8: bad things that I experience, the more I understand people,

487
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 8: the more I understand the world. So all of the

488
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 8: bad things that we've gone through in our relationship, I

489
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 8: don't regret them. I think that God saw us through,

490
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,720
Speaker 8: and I love where we are today, so I have

491
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 8: no regret.

492
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:50,800
Speaker 3: I wouldn't know.

493
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 5: I don't know if you're a therapy, but literally, like so,

494
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 5: I've been trying to remove my s from a lot

495
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 5: of the decisions or the person that I thought I

496
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,119
Speaker 5: was in the past, Like I view my past selves

497
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 5: as like different people almost, And because I'm so proud

498
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 5: and standing where I am today, my therapist is getting

499
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 5: me through, Like you might not be here or have

500
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 5: the stories to tell on this podcast, or have the

501
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 5: true experiences are people in your life.

502
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:21,040
Speaker 3: Without those things?

503
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 5: Yes, And I said it on this pod too, and

504
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 5: I think people have been able to see it. I

505
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 5: got in my first relationship at thirty, but your worst

506
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 5: relationship ever stayed stayed after many times I should have left.

507
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 5: And then in breaking up, the healing journey was it

508
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,159
Speaker 5: did allow me then to see, Oh, I see why

509
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 5: people say I see why I see why it hurts.

510
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 3: And I'm not gonna lie.

511
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,680
Speaker 5: We've been giving fucking advice on this pod for the

512
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 5: last eight years, and it wasn't until I went through

513
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 5: that relationship that I was like, Ooh, I get it now,

514
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:54,120
Speaker 5: and I apologize even for however, yes.

515
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 8: Because I was like, damn, because you only understood as

516
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 8: much as you could understand without going through stuff yourself.

517
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 5: Why would you say, how how do you find forgiveness

518
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 5: in what you just experienced? Then all of those things

519
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 5: that I hadn't had any real experience in came only

520
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 5: through that experience.

521
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I love that you said that.

522
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 5: Because sometimes we regret or feel like we wasted our time,

523
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 5: and there's so many elements of learning from it or

524
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 5: or healing from it after you're like, oh, there was

525
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:26,239
Speaker 5: a lesson here.

526
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,399
Speaker 8: And every experience is a domino, like when you think

527
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 8: about domino's falling and it ends up in a particular place.

528
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,680
Speaker 8: If one domino doesn't fall or falls in a different direction,

529
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 8: then you're often a different trajectory.

530
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 3: Right.

531
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,960
Speaker 8: So maybe had you had the wonderful relationship that you

532
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:44,440
Speaker 8: probably desired at thirty, and you might not have this podcast.

533
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 3: You might not be changing people. He ate the reason

534
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 3: for this podcast.

535
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 1: No, you me for the content.

536
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 3: I'll know what I mean. Jose and you have run.

537
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,680
Speaker 8: Little thing can change your trajectory and it can take

538
00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 8: you off in a completely different You might not a

539
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 8: had an idea that inspired this. For instance, it could

540
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 8: be anything, but you could be somewhere completely different without

541
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 8: that one domino falling.

542
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:07,880
Speaker 3: So it's funny.

543
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 5: We talked about it with tempest shout out if you

544
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,360
Speaker 5: guys have it yet our book No Holds Barred. When

545
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 5: Weezy and I first got into the process of writing

546
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 5: our book, there were chapters that were she was single,

547
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 5: I was in a relationship. During the process of writing it,

548
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 5: she got into a relationship, I became single, and so

549
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 5: it changed literally chapters in our book.

550
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,439
Speaker 3: I'm sure you guys explored. Did you guys have too

551
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 3: it's your book?

552
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes, the final chapters of the book we tossed.

553
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 4: I wrote when it wasn't that great if now final

554
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 4: chapter of the book is about suicide.

555
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 3: And it started off with me like party in New York,

556
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 3: I haven't fun like a last night, and then boom,

557
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 3: I'm lonely.

558
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 4: And it was crazy because we were on a call

559
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 4: where we asked her favorite chapters and she said that

560
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 4: one And it's interesting to me how the forefront of

561
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 4: what you think things will be about.

562
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 3: It's not really what happens.

563
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 4: It's not where the grip comes from for you guys,

564
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 4: What's something you told in either book that you were like,

565
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 4: I can't believe we just gave us up.

566
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 3: You know they answer to this question, not the first one.

567
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 1: Give the first one. I don't care. But the first

568
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 1: one is the orgasm thing, right, you.

569
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 4: Know that you never made her orgasm was just crazy

570
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 4: because not never up until a certain point.

571
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: She's crazy that she said you stay because girls, my

572
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 1: mouth game was good.

573
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:26,719
Speaker 8: It's just my pen game wasn't wait for clarification. Game

574
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:30,920
Speaker 8: was good for clarification up to a certain point. I

575
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 8: wasn't regularly having orgasms through intercourse that I was having

576
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 8: orgasms in other ways, which.

577
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 3: Is that's not what I thought.

578
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 9: That's not what I because that's not how the.

579
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 3: Media spun it.

580
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 8: I mean, had anyone read the book, they would understand

581
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:46,679
Speaker 8: and they not clear.

582
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 3: No, it's not that I was this long suffering wife.

583
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 1: It wasn't that hashtag poor Giara the whole time.

584
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:58,120
Speaker 3: For Gia.

585
00:25:59,240 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 1: They were sitting.

586
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, that wasn't it. Most women, unless you're touching

587
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 3: your culturus.

588
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 4: There is something said like eighty eight percent of women

589
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,640
Speaker 4: are experiencing vaginal penetration.

590
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, that's the thing, of course it is.

591
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 8: And that's why we thought that there was value in

592
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 8: telling the story, Yeah, sharing our experience, because we figured

593
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 8: that so many women would relate, they would get it,

594
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,679
Speaker 8: they would understand, and then they would find their dues.

595
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 8: Now you can come through vaginal penetration every single timew No,

596
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 8: hold on.

597
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 9: It's not that you didn't get busy.

598
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 3: And that was the value in the chapter that we

599
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,479
Speaker 3: told the story. It had nothing to do with him.

600
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 5: So I'm gonna blend horrible decisions in just a little bit.

601
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 5: And I don't know which one to ask this tip for.

602
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 5: But if you went from only orgasming from head and

603
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,119
Speaker 5: then now you're able to do it through penetration, this

604
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 5: what well? What what happened differently? Did you then be able?

605
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 5: Did you incorporate something different? Did you tell him what

606
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 5: he had to do?

607
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:03,679
Speaker 3: Like? What how did you get there?

608
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: Let me start? Okay, so which is the fu shit about?

609
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 1: You know, men entering the sexual space, right, there's nobody

610
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 1: to talk to, right, you never sat down to your

611
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 1: boy and like, yo, bro, how you have sex. You

612
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 1: look at it. So what do most guys do, right,

613
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,959
Speaker 1: even the guys in the back, they watch porn, right,

614
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 1: And when you watch porn, all you see is bang

615
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 1: bang bang bang bang, Right, And he'd be like, wow,

616
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,440
Speaker 1: I need to do that. So you start trying to

617
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 1: do that, okay, and bang bank and you know, you

618
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 1: realize there was no sensuality. He realized there was no touch.

619
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 1: You realize it's a movie, it's a porn movie. But

620
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,399
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that because she never told me.

621
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 3: She was like, I'm a poor start and me too.

622
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 8: Okay, okay, that's part of it. That's a very very

623
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,440
Speaker 8: small part of it. That's a very very small part

624
00:27:53,480 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 8: of it. It wasn't okay, okay, you kicked it off.

625
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 8: The problem that it wasn't him.

626
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 3: The problem was me.

627
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 8: Oh, the problem was me. And I was too young

628
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 8: to understand your body, my body, ah, and that the

629
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:17,359
Speaker 8: problem was me. I lost my virginity on our one

630
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 8: year anniversary, so I was sixteen years old and thinking

631
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 8: that it was the way that most young people envision it.

632
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 8: I wasn't even sure that I was supposed to have

633
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,360
Speaker 8: an orgasm every single time. And I think The problem

634
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 8: was that when you look at society, it's as though

635
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 8: women are playthings for men, like we look good, we

636
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 8: put on we do all of these things for the

637
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 8: pleasure of men. You look at billboards, it's sexy women

638
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 8: draped over cars.

639
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 3: Everything is about the sexualization of women.

640
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,719
Speaker 8: So when I was in that role, it was about

641
00:28:54,840 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 8: me performing for my boyfriend, me performing for my husband.

642
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 8: So I was in so much of a pleasure mode

643
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 8: that I neglected myself. I don't even know if I

644
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 8: saw the importance in myself being pleasured, And to be honest,

645
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:14,480
Speaker 8: I was pleased knowing that he was so pleased and.

646
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 4: Vast thing you said you're a giver to talk about

647
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 4: how much you love to nurture and not saying that

648
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 4: a lot of women don't carry this innately. But I

649
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,479
Speaker 4: feel the same, and I think a lot of times

650
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 4: being that you can have pleasure at the service of

651
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 4: giving and being someone's subservice at whatever it is.

652
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 3: Yes, I think we really.

653
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 4: Don't prioritize self because we are so used to being

654
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,959
Speaker 4: satisfied from that one thing. And I hope a lot

655
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 4: of people that maybe do have trouble orgasming during in

656
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:42,640
Speaker 4: her course, Mandy and I have said this for years,

657
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 4: like visimoone, actually you're going on there soon. She hadn't

658
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 4: had an orgasm when she first came off horrible, and

659
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 4: we're like girl master.

660
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 5: Ate and she hadn't really knew much to do. I

661
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 5: don't think she had even used toys at that time.

662
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 5: But I think that's the biggest thing. Also title chapter,

663
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 5: you can't No one can please you unless you could

664
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 5: please yourself.

665
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 3: I know how to please myself, but yeah, but learning

666
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 3: your body and being able also to communicate that to

667
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 3: a partner like you doing it. Does he know the motion?

668
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 3: Does he know the pressure? Does he like? And that

669
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 3: has to be communicated.

670
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 5: And sometimes when we go into the bedroom just wanting

671
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 5: to please our partners, it's hard to communicate that he

672
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 5: might be doing something wrong.

673
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 3: You're just going to send me. You know, vagina is

674
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 3: way more difficult.

675
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 8: It is.

676
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 3: I'm not a cool girl. I'm not this girl. I'm

677
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 3: not a this girl. I need a slower one. Yeah,

678
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 3: I'm just too The vagina's way harder than the pain.

679
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 3: But I'll tell you, you know, I'll.

680
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 8: Tell you what. In my experience, it didn't even take

681
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 8: all of that for me. It's once I let go

682
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 8: of being a performer and making sure that I looked

683
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 8: good and I sounded good and my body looked good

684
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 8: in this position, and I was doing all of those things.

685
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 8: Once I let that go and concentrated on myself, it

686
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 8: wasn't even about how he touched me, how in love

687
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 8: I was with him, did the trick, but it.

688
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 5: Really love a little dog in the baby, make a

689
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 5: little man, All of that a little bit, all that

690
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 5: I don't need, all that look a little bit shovel.

691
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, my hot friends, you say the same ship. Oh

692
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,479
Speaker 4: my god, I'm thinking about how I look, and they

693
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 4: like you.

694
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 3: To look ugly actually.

695
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 8: Times, yes, yes, yeah, I like to start out pretty

696
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 8: and I don't care if I get ugly in the interim,

697
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 8: you know, but I like to start out.

698
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 3: A certain way. But it didn't.

699
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 8: It wasn't even about how he's the fact that he

700
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 8: was touching me was enough. I mean, every single time,

701
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,800
Speaker 8: he doesn't have to do it. Sometimes I'd like, baby,

702
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 8: damn it, you don't even really have to move, like,

703
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 8: like do I not say that to you all? It's

704
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 8: like you don't even really have to do much, like

705
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 8: you're tired.

706
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 3: It's okay, Like.

707
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, So for the reactionary for this, I'm gonna blend

708
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 5: both books here.

709
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 3: Okay, So.

710
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 5: I'm gonna throw in some pop culture reasons and then

711
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 5: I want y'all takes on them.

712
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 1: Okay.

713
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 5: So we know what happened with Matt Barnes in January

714
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 5: with all of the affairs he had and his partner

715
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 5: leaving Cardi being offset have been public about the infidelity

716
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 5: happening within their relationship and now going through a divorce.

717
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 5: And then, just because I love housewives, Real Housewives, Beverly Hills,

718
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 5: Derry and PK are getting a divorce and they've vividly

719
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 5: talked about not sharing that they're going through a divorce.

720
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 3: To their kids.

721
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 5: So a few questions here, does keeping kids in a

722
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 5: kid's place work in today's era of social media? And

723
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 5: so with your relationship being public, with there being a book, now,

724
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 5: do you guys have to talk about the things that

725
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 5: happen in your relationship that's adult shit, whether it be infidelity,

726
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 5: whether it be an argument, whether it be real life shit.

727
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 3: How do you have those conversations with your kids or

728
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 3: do you keep them.

729
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 1: Out of it? I think for our older kids twenty

730
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 1: three and twenty one, yes, absolutely, they know everything.

731
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 3: So at what age though our kids?

732
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 5: Is it? Because, to be honest, when I was growing up,

733
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 5: I knew my daddy had multiple girlfriends.

734
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 3: I was like nine, and I knew it. Of course

735
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:00,880
Speaker 3: we didn't there was for one, two and three of

736
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 3: these are his friends.

737
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 5: When I look back in my childhood, I'm like, bro,

738
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 5: there was so much I knew what the folk was

739
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 5: going on, and y'all wasn't being honest or being real

740
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 5: with me. Or I could tell when my mom was

741
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 5: hurting or crying in the room and she come out

742
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 5: and everything's okay. It's not like a part of me

743
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 5: resents not being put onto the things that was actually happening.

744
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 5: So I want to know what age do y'all feel

745
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 5: comfortable or do you suggest parents start actually being honest

746
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 5: with their kids.

747
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 8: I think it's I don't necessarily think it's about age.

748
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 8: I think it's about a how does it affect the children?

749
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 8: So in your securitation, okay, you knew, yeah, you knew,

750
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 8: so you knew, So I think that it would have

751
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 8: been beneficial to explain things to you in a way

752
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 8: that you were able to digest, because if not, you're

753
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 8: carrying that burden and it's affecting you psychologically, while at

754
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 8: nine years old, you don't realize that it's affecting you psychologically.

755
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 3: So there does need to.

756
00:33:55,400 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 8: Be some type of explanation or clarity provided were you

757
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 8: even though you're nine, because if you're old enough to

758
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 8: hurt from it or be affected by it, then you're

759
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 8: old enough to be spoken to about it. So I

760
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 8: don't think that there's a particular age. I think it

761
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:13,720
Speaker 8: depends on the reality of the situation aside from Aside

762
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 8: from that things that don't affect children, I think that

763
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 8: a child needs to stay in a child's place. I

764
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 8: believe in the innocence of children so wholeheartedly, and I

765
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 8: think that parents should do as much as they can

766
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 8: to allow their children to hold on to that for

767
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 8: as long as possible. I didn't tell you, but yesterday

768
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,720
Speaker 8: I finally told Jackson, who's ten, that the Easter Bunny

769
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 8: and that the Leprechaun and the tooth Fairy don't exist.

770
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 9: Oh I'm sorry, I can fault with you, because but

771
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 9: he asked me straight.

772
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,320
Speaker 8: We were in the car coming back and he was

773
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,800
Speaker 8: having a conversation with his friends. Man he was feeling

774
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:01,840
Speaker 8: like the dunt the nutt in the group, and I

775
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 8: didn't want him to suffer that humiliation. But we kept

776
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 8: it as long as we possibly could until it affects him.

777
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 3: In a negative way. Still exists. I don't care what

778
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:13,319
Speaker 3: this think.

779
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:15,720
Speaker 9: So and he asked me about three times.

780
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 8: So he said, can I help you put the eggs

781
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 8: out then on Easter for the other kids? And I said,

782
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 8: I said, yeah you can. I was like, you'll get

783
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:22,920
Speaker 8: up with dad.

784
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,360
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's part of something that we do. And

785
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:27,719
Speaker 1: we're gonna have an argument about this later.

786
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 9: That's place he asked me on the spot. He asked

787
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 9: me on the spot, you.

788
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,879
Speaker 1: Don't understand I'm saying we don't really shore about the liquor,

789
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 1: she said, But the rest of the niggas, that's me.

790
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 5: I don't know.

791
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 1: But I'm the one that you don't understand that. I

792
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 1: get a joy out of putting the toys together and

793
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 1: you know, and getting their toys. I get a joy

794
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 1: out of waking up five in the morning, four in

795
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 1: the morning, putting the eggs all over the yard.

796
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 3: Let so much fun.

797
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 1: I get a joy out of that sort.

798
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 8: Of messing up the room on Saint Patrick's Day because

799
00:35:58,160 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 8: the Leprechaun is supposed to come and mess up the house.

800
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,239
Speaker 9: So we mess up the house and mess up my

801
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 9: birthday and.

802
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 4: I'm not yeah, yeh yeh new age parents and yeah

803
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 4: yeah yeah, I get a joy at it comes and

804
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 4: messes up the house.

805
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, he comes and messes up the room. Sometimes

806
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 8: he steals things from your room.

807
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's naughty.

808
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 1: He had.

809
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:21,919
Speaker 5: The more kids you get, the more ship did sorry,

810
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 5: that's yeah, make green eggs and hamp I think no,

811
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:29,959
Speaker 5: I celebrated, No, no, no, no, the lecra.

812
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 8: Sometimes he'll take something. He's naughty, So he comes to

813
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 8: your house and he does naughty things. We don't worry Santa, Santa,

814
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,320
Speaker 8: but he and I'm like, wow, now I'm telling a

815
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 8: bold face. Before you know, Sanda is just a power

816
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 8: of suggestion, right, but now I'm telling a bold face.

817
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 1: Lie.

818
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 3: And we pride ourselves on that, like.

819
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 4: His cookies, on the twenty four faith that kids have, Like,

820
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,480
Speaker 4: I don't like seeing kids remove from kids things to.

821
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 3: Exactly, And that's the thing TikTok and Instagram.

822
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 4: My friends kind of laugh at me a lot because

823
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 4: for number one, right, I am obviously all for sexuality.

824
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 4: If kids being gay I get it, you know, like

825
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 4: I was the gay kid, but TikTok, Instagram, all of

826
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 4: these things that are just going to make my kid

827
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 4: go from six to fifteen.

828
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 3: No, I'm not with it.

829
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 4: Like I don't even know if I want to do

830
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 4: iPads out of side of a plane like we just

831
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,320
Speaker 4: or I just interviewed Brook Devard for Horrible Decisions on Patreon.

832
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 3: I love this girl.

833
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,879
Speaker 4: She's a mom, she's got a great brand. And she said,

834
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 4: I let my kids be bored. She said, if we

835
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:37,400
Speaker 4: go to a restaurant, people are asking me what do

836
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:39,240
Speaker 4: they do if they don't have an iPad?

837
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,280
Speaker 3: And I say, they play with the salt and pepper shakers.

838
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,439
Speaker 3: We get in the car, Oh, what colors do you see?

839
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 4: And I think that was probably the greatest parenting advice

840
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 4: I'd heard in a while, because I want to make

841
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,320
Speaker 4: sure that I do that, and I'm terrified of my

842
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,439
Speaker 4: kids being too grown because I was too grown.

843
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,760
Speaker 3: Wait a second, and but you said that's crazy, you disagree.

844
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 3: I mean, here we go learn how to be when

845
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,360
Speaker 3: you take a ship. Don't you need the phone?

846
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 8: We have to learn?

847
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know I don't, but but you know, you

848
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 1: know what it is. And that sounds so crazy sometimes. Well,

849
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: first of all, when I go out to eat, it's

850
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:15,840
Speaker 1: different than most people go out to eat, right, And

851
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:19,440
Speaker 1: the reason I say that is dea was raised that

852
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 1: you have to eat slow and you count your shoes.

853
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 3: I don't count my chees.

854
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:26,320
Speaker 9: Can you stop perpetuating this line, girl, I never counted.

855
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 8: I said that it's most healthy and productive for your

856
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 8: body to break down your food so that your digestive

857
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 8: system can digest it, and that usually takes about one

858
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 8: hundred shoes per mouthful.

859
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 1: It is you don't understand, we don't have to eat

860
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 1: is a four hour thing?

861
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:43,760
Speaker 3: But I don't. I don't count.

862
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 1: My kids playing with the salt and peppersheak of a

863
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 1: four hours they get to I'll be playing with the

864
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: play that's not happening. Let me get to the point

865
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 1: where we all we all coloring like.

866
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 3: A piece of state. It's in your head. I know,

867
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 3: I do not, I not will count my chewes.

868
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 8: I eat slowly, but I am not cognizant at all

869
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 8: of how many choes it takes to break down what.

870
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 1: You say you have one fry, poor ketchup on the

871
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: whole five five minutes.

872
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 7: At least I feel like I could see it and

873
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 7: I understand it's it's crazy, but she's she's very disrespectful

874
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,720
Speaker 7: food like I'm talking cheese cake and showberries in the morning,

875
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 7: leftovers for breakfast like it's it's it's.

876
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 1: Really her jeans, the way she looks like this, No surgeries.

877
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,359
Speaker 1: She doesn't work out, does not work out.

878
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,799
Speaker 3: You don't work out the plates that we do well.

879
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 1: That we did.

880
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 3: We did it for like four weeks.

881
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 1: No, you did it for four weeks.

882
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:41,399
Speaker 3: I did it for four weeks.

883
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 1: It is when she eats, I gained weight.

884
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 3: That is like, I'm yes, I have a question that

885
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:55,720
Speaker 3: I actually asked Brooks.

886
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 4: So her and her husband, you know, they have a

887
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 4: beautiful home in the hills, and you know, live a

888
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 4: beautiful lifestyle. And I said, what, at what point, what's

889
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 4: the thing you kind of keep from your kid? Because

890
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:11,680
Speaker 4: your kids obviously have money, they grow up, they know it.

891
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:13,760
Speaker 4: How do you keep them humble?

892
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 1: Like they have.

893
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 3: Jobs, Like, how does that work out once they get

894
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 3: to that age?

895
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 1: But we don't. We don't. We're different with our kids, right.

896
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 1: Our kids are very humble. They all have chores, they

897
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 1: all respect money. But we're the type of parents we

898
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 1: want to see our kids enjoy it while we I like,

899
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:32,840
Speaker 1: there's some parents that the struggle. I don't like that

900
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 1: that I want my kids so you know, I love

901
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 1: cause my twenty three year old to take the ferrari,

902
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,359
Speaker 1: like my twenty one year old to take the lambo,

903
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 1: like I want them to enjoy it. I want to

904
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 1: see them when we work home.

905
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:43,839
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie.

906
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 5: I wasn't born into nepotism like I wish I was, Like,

907
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:52,880
Speaker 5: I would not keep like I never understood the making

908
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 5: your child struggle because you struggled.

909
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 8: I can't stand that ideology like that is that ideology

910
00:40:59,200 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 8: sucks like.

911
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 3: It does like all the billionaires that leave their money

912
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 3: to others. I don't like foundations. But I feel like

913
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 3: it's only in like the black community that we do that.

914
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 8: Yes, yes, because you know, I feel as though we're

915
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:15,320
Speaker 8: the only ones that want to see each other like

916
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:16,799
Speaker 8: struggle or want you.

917
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:21,479
Speaker 3: Know, like why like white people don't do that. People

918
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:28,279
Speaker 3: don't do that generally speaking, general generally, they don't do that.

919
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 8: They nepotize, they pass things on to their children, they

920
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 8: donte on their children, they give their children. And I

921
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 8: don't see it as potent in our community.

922
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,240
Speaker 3: And I've always wondered why.

923
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 5: Even even just to speak about even the iPad or

924
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 5: Brooks choice of parenting in mind you me speaking also

925
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 5: in parenting you're going me to comments with you and

926
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 5: got kids.

927
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 3: Fuck you.

928
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 5: It's funny though that we still we have people that

929
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 5: are also trying to remove technology from children today. Specifically,

930
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,359
Speaker 5: I see it being a thing that Americans do, knowing

931
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 5: that they just passed the thing in China where from

932
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 5: six years old they're going to teach the children all

933
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,800
Speaker 5: these areas of AI And so this is why we

934
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:14,840
Speaker 5: never go the terrorists don't forget continue like China is

935
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:19,800
Speaker 5: so advanced in teaching their children how society is changing,

936
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 5: and we especially our community does want to stay dated.

937
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 3: But these kids aren't social.

938
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:27,800
Speaker 4: Like I don't know if you guys have interacted with

939
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,920
Speaker 4: a COVID kid yet, but my partner and I were

940
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,439
Speaker 4: talking about this, and he's like, I hate when people

941
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 4: act like you gotta let the.

942
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 3: Kids come to you. He's like, they don't know to talk.

943
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:37,440
Speaker 3: You gotta be like, what are you playing with?

944
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 4: What do you like?

945
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 3: Get on your level? Kids these days, four or five

946
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:41,320
Speaker 3: years old.

947
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 1: They are weird.

948
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 3: I have so much to say right now, I say,

949
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 3: I have so much to say.

950
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 8: I want to speak on that, but I don't want

951
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:52,240
Speaker 8: to lose my thought about the spoiling of children because

952
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 8: we ended it and we moved on. But I don't

953
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 8: want to leave it on that note, because for me,

954
00:42:57,160 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 8: it's not just about giving your children because you have

955
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:04,799
Speaker 8: in our household, our children don't receive anything unless they

956
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 8: deserve it. I believe on bestowing upon my children if

957
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:11,320
Speaker 8: they deserve it. I do not believe in spoiling my children.

958
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:15,240
Speaker 8: We have six children, and five of them are not spoiled.

959
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:15,920
Speaker 3: I have a three year olds.

960
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 1: We're working on it.

961
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:17,719
Speaker 3: Well, we have a three year old.

962
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 9: We're working on her right now, but they're working on her.

963
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 8: I want to make sure and listen, we have a

964
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 8: routine and we have a way that we parent her

965
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 8: to see to it that she is not going to

966
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 8: be spoiled. But the other five, I can wholeheartedly say

967
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:31,239
Speaker 8: they are not.

968
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 3: Spoiled at all.

969
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 8: Everything that they get and they get it a lot,

970
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,320
Speaker 8: and they live a lifestyle, but they deserve it. Be

971
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:44,400
Speaker 8: says they are wonderful, beautiful, appreciative, grateful, helpful, and demonstrative children.

972
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 1: All of them and.

973
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:49,959
Speaker 8: They can have something amazing. I'll tell you a little story.

974
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,279
Speaker 8: I went to brunch with a girlfriend of mine. She

975
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 8: has two kids, and I'm there with my three kids

976
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 8: and my baby was you bringing to kiss the brunch?

977
00:43:57,640 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 5: Oh?

978
00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 8: Yeah? It was like a oh, we brought our kids

979
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 8: to brench And we were talking and at the time,

980
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,799
Speaker 8: I drove a very nice vehicle. I drove a very

981
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:12,399
Speaker 8: nice vehicle. And this mom is very bufula she she like, okay,

982
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 8: she's a bougie mom, you know. And she was making

983
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 8: some comments about the car, and then her daughter, who

984
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,640
Speaker 8: was ten at the time, was making comments about the car, like, oh,

985
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 8: you guys have this, and she's talking about it and

986
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,719
Speaker 8: some of the features. It doesn't matter what car it

987
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:28,720
Speaker 8: was in this car, it's a nice car, okay.

988
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:32,760
Speaker 3: And what does she do it anyway? Anyway?

989
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 8: So she okay, So it was and she was talking

990
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:37,920
Speaker 8: about the star headliner and all this stuff, and I'm

991
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:39,840
Speaker 8: sitting there laughing, and the mom said to me, like,

992
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 8: why are you laughing? I said, my kids have no

993
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 8: idubt you're talking about.

994
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:44,920
Speaker 3: And she was like, what do you mean.

995
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:46,960
Speaker 8: I said, my kids don't even know what kind of

996
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 8: car we drove in today? She said, how could they

997
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:51,800
Speaker 8: not know? I said, because we don't talk about material

998
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:55,919
Speaker 8: things at my house and she said, Giah, Like I said,

999
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,399
Speaker 8: ask London, and London at the time was ten, say Maye,

1000
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:00,360
Speaker 8: just her daughter. That's how we met through our artists.

1001
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 8: I said, ask Linda what kind of car we drove

1002
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 8: in today? She was like, London, what car did you

1003
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 8: guys drive in?

1004
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:07,840
Speaker 3: Drove in today? She's like, I don't know a Ford.

1005
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 3: And it's because we all we have like our family

1006
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 3: car that I throw the kids in. It's a Ford Explorer.

1007
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 8: And she would hear us say that all the time,

1008
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,920
Speaker 8: like throw the stroller in the Ford, throw the car

1009
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 8: seats in the forward, take it out of the board

1010
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 8: and put it together.

1011
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 3: So she would hear the word forward for a Ford.

1012
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 3: But aside from that, she.

1013
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:25,880
Speaker 8: Would never hear a Rolls Royce. She would never hear

1014
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,839
Speaker 8: a Lamborghini. It'll be like the purple car, the blue car.

1015
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 8: Purposely because I didn't want her to start materializing in

1016
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 8: her mind or thinking that things are of value.

1017
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 3: Don't have money, it doesn't matter, no.

1018
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 5: No, no starts like we can do things like and

1019
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 5: for for me growing up it was name brand Cereal,

1020
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:52,600
Speaker 5: like we know Texas hit when we got the public

1021
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 5: subs and the neighbor.

1022
00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 3: Going to Olive Garden and can order. Yes, yes, so

1023
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 3: old were things like not growing up in materialism.

1024
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:04,840
Speaker 5: It's weird because, like Weezy said, I love that you

1025
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 5: say that because it could apply to even Yeah, I don't.

1026
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:09,400
Speaker 3: Think that's what it rings that are necessarily Actually.

1027
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:11,440
Speaker 4: No, I mean when you're bringing up so no think

1028
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 4: about brand and you've got a regular Oh yeah, you're

1029
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 4: still working away up. I want my Louis back, I

1030
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:17,919
Speaker 4: want my this, I want my mad You're almost talking

1031
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 4: about it more. But I think it's just it's really

1032
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,280
Speaker 4: nice to hear that because the more I'm meeting wealthy

1033
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 4: people with children, it's the first question I have. I

1034
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:28,920
Speaker 4: don't know if you've heard of Ursula Burns, but she

1035
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 4: was the first black woman CEO in America and it

1036
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:35,279
Speaker 4: was Xerox and I was producing a show she was on,

1037
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:37,360
Speaker 4: and she was like, everybody's asking me what to do

1038
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 4: with my kids, and like, my kids know they're rich.

1039
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:42,879
Speaker 4: I just have to raise good kids. And I think

1040
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 4: when you're hearing about wealth, you're thinking about kids. TV Kardashians,

1041
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 4: shitty kids, Osborne, all that stuff I was.

1042
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:54,879
Speaker 3: Born with seeing what do they have? My sweet sixteen like, yah,

1043
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:56,479
Speaker 3: it's not necessarily normal life.

1044
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:59,399
Speaker 8: Yeah, but the thing and there's a thing to that, right.

1045
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 8: Some of the most miserable people that I know are

1046
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:04,800
Speaker 8: the people that are the most wealthy and have the

1047
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 8: most So I never want to align happiness with money

1048
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 8: because I'm not here to raise wealthy kids. I'm here

1049
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 8: to raise good kids.

1050
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 3: Money.

1051
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 8: That turned into no, it doesn't, and and speak no,

1052
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:24,480
Speaker 8: it doesn't. No money, no, no, no, and guess what

1053
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:29,000
Speaker 8: and guess what? Money No, it's like a bonus to

1054
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 8: your happiness. Yes, in real life, real love, in real life,

1055
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:36,399
Speaker 8: real love. We talked about one of the worst things

1056
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,239
Speaker 8: that either of us went through in our lives, and

1057
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 8: it was the infidelity. And I tell you, and I

1058
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 8: remember this like it was yesterday. I sat there in

1059
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:47,759
Speaker 8: my bed or about a week after I found out,

1060
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 8: and I'm looking around at all of this shit that

1061
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,800
Speaker 8: live in a mansion. I got garages full of cars,

1062
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 8: I got every bag, every label, every everything, and I'm

1063
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 8: fucking well, I believe that I'm miserable right now. I'm

1064
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 8: so unhappy. None of this means anything. And I remember

1065
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 8: thinking to myself, like, damn, women will go through this

1066
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:11,279
Speaker 8: for like a freaking piece of leather. Yeah, And I

1067
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 8: had this mental like dialogue with myself like its fucking leather,

1068
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 8: Like leather, you're gonna throw away your dignity, your pride,

1069
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 8: your happiness or freaking leather, Like that's crazy.

1070
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 3: Yeah. So, no, material things don't bring you happiness.

1071
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 8: If you're happy and then you are able to live

1072
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:32,719
Speaker 8: a life where you have quality things and there's abundance.

1073
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 8: Of course that's a beautiful thing. But buying a bag

1074
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 8: does not make me happy. And I sometimes I think

1075
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 8: that for some people it takes going through some of

1076
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:43,799
Speaker 8: those bad experiences that I was talking about before, where

1077
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 8: you learn, you understand, there's lessons, there's wisdom in it,

1078
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 8: and I've lived a life.

1079
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 3: Can I ask you then? Some people.

1080
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:56,479
Speaker 5: Stay for the kids quote unquote hm, some people stay

1081
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,839
Speaker 5: for the afforded lifestyle. If you were this miserable and hurt,

1082
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:04,319
Speaker 5: what what pushed you to do the work to stay?

1083
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 8: You got time? Because that's an answer. It's an answer

1084
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 8: that I can't wrap up in two minutes.

1085
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:10,879
Speaker 3: I really can't.

1086
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 9: I mean, if you can, I can I'll do.

1087
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 5: I'll do my best only because I mean, we're we

1088
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 5: talk about beous, you know what I mean. And there's

1089
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 5: so many women that get into monogamous relationships that feel

1090
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 5: betrayed and everyone tells them to leave or that they're

1091
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:30,439
Speaker 5: stupid for staying, and then it becomes a well why,

1092
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 5: and it could be sometimes for the kid lifestyle. Those

1093
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:36,399
Speaker 5: are things that we accept as reasons. But if those

1094
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 5: weren't your reasons, what innateately made you want to stay?

1095
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 3: And work through that?

1096
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 8: For anyone that wants the full blown answer, it really

1097
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:46,400
Speaker 8: is in real life, real love. But I'll do my

1098
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:48,960
Speaker 8: best to wrap it up. It certainly was not for

1099
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:53,800
Speaker 8: the children. I was ready, I had an attorney, I

1100
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,840
Speaker 8: was getting a divorce. It was not something I was contemplating.

1101
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 8: It was something that was done, signed and sealed. Not

1102
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:02,520
Speaker 8: quite deliber but signed and sealed. I don't believe in

1103
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:05,200
Speaker 8: staying for the children. Okay, that's my personal belief. I

1104
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 8: would never because having an unhappy union, unhappy children. Children

1105
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 8: are not oblivious, they're not dumb. They very well know

1106
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 8: what's going on and you know firsthand. So staying for

1107
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,880
Speaker 8: the kids, I think is more so to their detriment

1108
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 8: than for their benefit, to be honest. So definitely not

1109
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 8: for the kids. Certainly not for the lifestyle. And it's

1110
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:32,439
Speaker 8: not lost on me that people probably perceive me as

1111
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:34,879
Speaker 8: someone that has a lot, because I do have a lot,

1112
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 8: and that's just true. So you may be inclined to

1113
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,399
Speaker 8: think that I'm materialistic, but I'm not. I don't really

1114
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 8: care about car, shoes, bags. I love my house. I

1115
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:46,800
Speaker 8: like to have a nice house, that's the truth. But

1116
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 8: aside from that, I don't really care about the other things.

1117
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 8: So it definitely wasn't the lifestyle. I stayed because a

1118
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 8: series of events happened and it was revealed to me,

1119
00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:00,360
Speaker 8: and I fought it and I cried. And I'm not

1120
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:03,080
Speaker 8: a big crier, but I fought it and I cried,

1121
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,400
Speaker 8: and I had to learn a lot in a very

1122
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 8: short time. But I was forced to believe that God

1123
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 8: wanted me to stay in my marriage.

1124
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 3: How did I know you were going to talk about God?

1125
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 3: It was the only thing.

1126
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:22,760
Speaker 8: That could have done that, And at the time, before

1127
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 8: I learned more about God and spirituality, I wouldn't have

1128
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:28,239
Speaker 8: even thought that God could have made me stay in

1129
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:31,320
Speaker 8: my relationship. But there was a series of things that

1130
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 8: happened there was in our lifetime together, and this was

1131
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:37,880
Speaker 8: a whole life died. There was only one person in

1132
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:40,040
Speaker 8: our lives that didn't champion my relationship.

1133
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:40,920
Speaker 3: One person.

1134
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,360
Speaker 8: Everybody else at the sun rose and shined on us

1135
00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 8: because even though we had a tough time, for Shawn

1136
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 8: always he never faltered in our home. He was always amazing.

1137
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,400
Speaker 8: I never had the red flags that my husband was cheating.

1138
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 8: I never had a red flag.

1139
00:51:55,239 --> 00:51:57,160
Speaker 3: He was. He showed up, He was there for me,

1140
00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 3: he was there for.

1141
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 8: The kids, affectionate, demonsia, loving everything, generous everything.

1142
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:06,400
Speaker 3: I had no idea, idea. I found out then he

1143
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 3: wasn't lacking. Oh yes, no, no, yes, how yes, no,

1144
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 3: he was not lacking. I had no idea.

1145
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:13,120
Speaker 1: I was blind.

1146
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 3: I was blind.

1147
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 8: I had no idea. But the one thing that I

1148
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:21,320
Speaker 8: have to say was that he was very jealous, very controlling,

1149
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:26,320
Speaker 8: very wanting to make sure that we always stayed together.

1150
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:28,200
Speaker 1: I was heavily insecure.

1151
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 3: Yes, So that was the thing. That's what drove.

1152
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:34,000
Speaker 8: I came to learn that that's what drove the cheating.

1153
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 8: That's what drove you know, certain situations that he had

1154
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:37,800
Speaker 8: to contend with.

1155
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 4: Did that moment kind of show you just as someone

1156
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:43,880
Speaker 4: who seems very monogamous, that sex.

1157
00:52:43,719 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 3: Can just be sex.

1158
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 4: And I say that because for someone not to switch up,

1159
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 4: I mean, as Mandy and I are ethically non monogamous,

1160
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:52,840
Speaker 4: it's not new to us, It's true to us. Right

1161
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:55,880
Speaker 4: since the start of our show, I find that a

1162
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 4: lot of my friends that have been married a long time.

1163
00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 4: One of my friends recently, and I've talked about it

1164
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,520
Speaker 4: on Horror, her husband of like ten or thirteen years

1165
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 4: kissed someone and she wants to leave them.

1166
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:05,839
Speaker 3: And I'm like, wow, it was a kiss.

1167
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:08,879
Speaker 4: She's like, you don't understand our rules, how we live,

1168
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 4: And I was like, I pushed my shit on her.

1169
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:14,400
Speaker 3: I'm thinking, so, what is Vegas? But did it.

1170
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:16,360
Speaker 1: Not?

1171
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:17,880
Speaker 2: So told you?

1172
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:20,360
Speaker 3: Did that show you?

1173
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 4: Oh this can be this isolated thing. This isn't This

1174
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 4: isn't about me, This isn't how you feels about me.

1175
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:27,760
Speaker 3: In that moment.

1176
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 8: No, it took a lot for me to learn and

1177
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 8: understand that because I was very much the person that

1178
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,799
Speaker 8: you're referring to, and I was raised by a very

1179
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 8: strong mother, and for me, my feelings didn't matter. It

1180
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 8: didn't matter if I loved him. Still, it didn't matter

1181
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 8: if I wanted to stay. It didn't matter if I

1182
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:48,440
Speaker 8: had this attachment that was just going to disintegrate.

1183
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:49,800
Speaker 3: None of that mattered.

1184
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 8: What mattered was that I always said that if you

1185
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:56,440
Speaker 8: so much as kiss another person, I'm gone, and I'm

1186
00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 8: a person of my word, even if it's to myself,

1187
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 8: and I have the the ability to break it. That

1188
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 8: was done as soon as I found out, in the

1189
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 8: moment that he came clean, I said, Okay, it's over.

1190
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:10,279
Speaker 8: And it was a few days before Christmas, and his

1191
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 8: mother was at my house helping me decorate for Christmas,

1192
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,719
Speaker 8: and I left him where he was and I went

1193
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:18,440
Speaker 8: home and walked into the house and I said, yeah,

1194
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 8: there's no need to finish decorating. And I said, she

1195
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:25,960
Speaker 8: said why, I said, Christmas is canceled because Sean and

1196
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,279
Speaker 8: I are getting a divorce. And it was instant. I

1197
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:30,600
Speaker 8: didn't have to think about it. It was just a

1198
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:33,919
Speaker 8: very robotic move for me. It didn't matter how I felt.

1199
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:37,480
Speaker 3: What did you have something? I'm sorry? Is that pride that?

1200
00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:40,880
Speaker 8: Yes, it's pride in me being true to who I

1201
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 8: always said that I would be, that she would be exactly.

1202
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 3: And that's another thing. And what you want for yourself,

1203
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:48,400
Speaker 3: which I think.

1204
00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:51,800
Speaker 8: And the feeling of seeing myself as a strong person

1205
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 8: and me identifying staying as a weakness.

1206
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:58,239
Speaker 5: We create these boundaries that we say like, and we

1207
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 5: go in to relationships, and when it happens, it actually

1208
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:05,439
Speaker 5: isn't a boundary. The fact that you stayed. We say

1209
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:09,440
Speaker 5: that if you do this, I'm gone. Once you say that,

1210
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 5: no longer becomes a boundary. But has there been a

1211
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:15,320
Speaker 5: conversation if that were to happen again or if it

1212
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:17,880
Speaker 5: was supposed to. I mean, I only say that because

1213
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 5: I mean I stayed after and knew and I was like, okay.

1214
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 5: But also, I'm not a monogamous but I have friends

1215
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 5: who have cheated or have been cheated on, who are like, yeah,

1216
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 5: this is a deal breaker for me, but they stay

1217
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 5: after multiple times.

1218
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:35,239
Speaker 4: It's that Cardi like, no, no, sorry now Cardi, Young

1219
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:38,800
Speaker 4: Miami he got four times. Oh yeah, Young Miami just

1220
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 4: said yeah, yeah, how.

1221
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:42,239
Speaker 8: Do you That's wild and that's wild to me, Like,

1222
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 8: that's why, that's that's why.

1223
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:45,800
Speaker 3: Listen, your face just made.

1224
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:49,040
Speaker 4: So many expressions in one and y'all watching this on YouTube,

1225
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 4: Gil went like she was trying to take this all

1226
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,439
Speaker 4: in like y'ad No, she wanted to punch invY right.

1227
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,520
Speaker 3: Now, like nigga, No, God isn't going to come in

1228
00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:02,359
Speaker 3: and fix it again. Okay.

1229
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:04,280
Speaker 8: You know, like I was saying, there was one person

1230
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 8: in our entire life that didn't didn't chap, that didn't

1231
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:11,760
Speaker 8: champion our relationship. And he is one of my best friends.

1232
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:14,160
Speaker 8: So I have a best friend that's the best friends

1233
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:15,879
Speaker 8: at our couple. So it's a husband and a wife.

1234
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:18,160
Speaker 8: I met the wife in college and I became very

1235
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 8: close to her husband, and he is like, like my

1236
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:25,120
Speaker 8: best friend. Why did he not champion because he saw

1237
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 8: Raseean as controlling and jealous and insecure and he wanted

1238
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:30,600
Speaker 8: better for me.

1239
00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 3: Okay, So he's the only person. So long story short.

1240
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:38,320
Speaker 8: When I told him, when I told him that it

1241
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:41,880
Speaker 8: was over, and he called me and confirmed that we

1242
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 8: were getting a divorce. Long story short, again, he is

1243
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:49,879
Speaker 8: he's the only one. He's the one that said you'd

1244
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:51,480
Speaker 8: have to read the book. But he said you can't

1245
00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:56,200
Speaker 8: divorce him, and I said why, And he flew to

1246
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:59,239
Speaker 8: New York. He flew to New York and he stayed with.

1247
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 3: Us for nine days.

1248
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 8: Is to convince me to stay. And when I asked

1249
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 8: him why he did that. He said, because God sent

1250
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 8: him there to do it.

1251
00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:12,439
Speaker 3: Wow. Wow, yes, And I said, what does that even mean?

1252
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 8: Because I always believed in God, but I was never

1253
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:18,040
Speaker 8: particularly spiritual. I didn't go to church, nothing like that.

1254
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:24,280
Speaker 8: But it was an opportunity for me to learn and

1255
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 8: to understand what being spoken to by God meant. And

1256
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:29,920
Speaker 8: then many other people that.

1257
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 3: That I did not know. That was one of them.

1258
00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 8: And when I asked him, he told me God sent

1259
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:43,640
Speaker 8: me and I said I don't And I said.

1260
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:46,080
Speaker 3: He didn't.

1261
00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 1: I didn't walk with I didn't know like that in

1262
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 1: New York and listening on radio.

1263
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:57,920
Speaker 4: Already being so irritated because I was like, I just

1264
00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:02,640
Speaker 4: feel like people really love to see happiness crumble. And

1265
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:05,480
Speaker 4: you know, as a Twitter girl, right, I'm want to

1266
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 4: laugh at something for a second, you're like, oh shit,

1267
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 4: When you really sit and think about it, it's like, damn,

1268
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 4: you know, when seeing strong family dynamics, it's just something

1269
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,720
Speaker 4: that's not so common. You know, I can't imagine how

1270
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:19,600
Speaker 4: much people can't wait to see lebron decks the two

1271
00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:22,080
Speaker 4: white ladies on the court side. Yeah, you know, you know,

1272
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 4: something that just hit me and I'm a big Jesus.

1273
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:28,040
Speaker 3: And maryol fan. And when that moment happened, I was like,

1274
00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 3: why is he tripping?

1275
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:31,760
Speaker 4: Like it seems like a joke to hear you just

1276
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:34,040
Speaker 4: say money doesn't mean anything to me, and you to

1277
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,720
Speaker 4: know Gia that, well, I kind of.

1278
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 3: Now see why you bugg the fuck out.

1279
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 1: But well, if anybody follows the Breakfast Club and knows me,

1280
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:43,280
Speaker 1: I bug out. When it comes to my family. I

1281
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:45,000
Speaker 1: know you could tell you could take shots to me

1282
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:48,080
Speaker 1: when so when you say something about my wife or

1283
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:50,800
Speaker 1: my kids, I don't want to say it on there.

1284
00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 1: I want to say it to your face, right, And

1285
00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:55,280
Speaker 1: that's why I've waited for them to come on there,

1286
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:57,680
Speaker 1: because I don't like the shots, because I don't do

1287
00:58:57,720 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 1: it for ratings. I'm doing that to go back and forth.

1288
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:01,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say it to your face directly and we

1289
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 1: can have it. We can look at each other eye

1290
00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:05,840
Speaker 1: to eye like that moment. And when I said it

1291
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:08,320
Speaker 1: to them and what happened, they apologize but said he was.

1292
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 4: Just playing though, right, But no, no, no no. After

1293
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:13,320
Speaker 4: that comment, I remember he was like, oh the checks,

1294
00:59:13,440 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 4: I'm just playing.

1295
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:14,360
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1296
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 4: But when I saw it, I was like that's such

1297
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:21,840
Speaker 4: an intense reaction for a comedian. But hearing you say

1298
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 4: this so strongly about money and what matters to you,

1299
00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 4: now I kind of get it.

1300
00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:30,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know, we've been together since sixteen fifteen,

1301
00:59:30,120 --> 00:59:32,200
Speaker 1: so before money, and one time Gia had the money

1302
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:34,000
Speaker 1: and I didn't. So when you say that, it's I

1303
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 1: feel like you're pushing a narrative, even if it's a

1304
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:38,040
Speaker 1: joke or not. And what bothered me with them even

1305
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:40,000
Speaker 1: more is they were friends to the room. They've been

1306
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 1: on the show many of times. I just didn't like

1307
00:59:42,240 --> 00:59:44,720
Speaker 1: that stab. So that's why I confronted them in person,

1308
00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:48,320
Speaker 1: and then you know, they apologized on person on air,

1309
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:50,600
Speaker 1: and then when you know, social media took it off,

1310
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:52,800
Speaker 1: they went another route. But my whole thing is I

1311
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:54,360
Speaker 1: just don't play certain games.

1312
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:54,800
Speaker 8: You know.

1313
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:57,880
Speaker 1: It's like certain things like if we all family and

1314
00:59:57,960 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 1: we all cool, and you know, there's things that happen

1315
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:03,520
Speaker 1: and we could fix it here, Like you know, we've

1316
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:06,240
Speaker 1: had conversations before and it's not, you know, not something

1317
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:08,800
Speaker 1: that goes public. It's like, yo, this is a small industry.

1318
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 1: And like you said, yeah, it's cool we could twitter

1319
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 1: joke and it's cool to see. But we don't want

1320
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 1: to see every somebody lose their family. We don't want

1321
01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:16,520
Speaker 1: to see somebody lose their job. We don't want to

1322
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 1: see somebody lose everything over something.

1323
01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:21,960
Speaker 3: That we hear other people feel that way. I actually

1324
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:23,560
Speaker 3: don't don't think so. No, I don't.

1325
01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:27,640
Speaker 4: I think most people are innately good decent. If I

1326
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:29,560
Speaker 4: fall down on the street, I think somebody will help me.

1327
01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 4: But if that person maybe follows me on ig and

1328
01:00:33,320 --> 01:00:35,320
Speaker 4: they're not doing well in life and they see something

1329
01:00:35,360 --> 01:00:37,120
Speaker 4: crumble for me, I think it feels a little good.

1330
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:39,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think people are inherently I don't. I don't

1331
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:40,640
Speaker 3: think that loves company.

1332
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 8: I don't think that it's about whether people are inherently

1333
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:46,040
Speaker 8: good or bad. I think people are inherently selfish. I

1334
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:49,360
Speaker 8: think that most people do what benefits them and don't

1335
01:00:49,440 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 8: do things that make them feel uncomfortable. And I think

1336
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:55,160
Speaker 8: that that's what leads most people's decisions. I agree most

1337
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 8: and then some people, maybe if they sit with it

1338
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,640
Speaker 8: a little while, they'll come out on the better side

1339
01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:02,600
Speaker 8: of that and say, Okay, well, you know I should

1340
01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:03,840
Speaker 8: do this because it's the right thing.

1341
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:04,720
Speaker 3: But I think most.

1342
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:07,880
Speaker 8: People's knee jerk reaction comes from more of a selfish place,

1343
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:10,360
Speaker 8: and that's something that life has taught me. I agree,

1344
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:12,360
Speaker 8: And it's a sad thing about our society.

1345
01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:13,040
Speaker 3: I agree.

1346
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 4: And it's also doubled and tripled with the level of influencers,

1347
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, Like I'm constantly looking. I

1348
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:22,280
Speaker 4: don't think I had body image issues for a long

1349
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:26,600
Speaker 4: time until Instagram really became a part of my daily routine.

1350
01:01:27,160 --> 01:01:29,040
Speaker 3: And then I was kind of like, damn.

1351
01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 4: I kind of thought I liked myself, but I don't

1352
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 4: look like this, or oh I thought my apartment was

1353
01:01:34,360 --> 01:01:37,320
Speaker 4: designed right, but now there's wav savvy desile, like it's

1354
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:40,000
Speaker 4: just something else that I don't have, and I'm someone

1355
01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:41,480
Speaker 4: that can get what I want, right.

1356
01:01:41,920 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 3: So I think when it comes to following someone seeing.

1357
01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:51,160
Speaker 4: Someone rise up that moment for you guys, I don't

1358
01:01:51,200 --> 01:01:55,080
Speaker 4: know with children, and I love happiness, like I see people.

1359
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:56,560
Speaker 3: Being like told you, no one really happy.

1360
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:58,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, but you know, anybody that comes in

1361
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:01,120
Speaker 1: our house or sees together with our kids, they all

1362
01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:02,720
Speaker 1: say the same thing. I thought I was just fati.

1363
01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:04,240
Speaker 1: I thought it was just for the Instagram, Like we

1364
01:02:04,400 --> 01:02:07,880
Speaker 1: all like that, and as people like we genuinely try

1365
01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 1: to help, Like when you opened up your your Plotti shop,

1366
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:13,200
Speaker 1: what's the first thing I'll tell you? Yo, if you

1367
01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 1: need me to come down and do a show or whatever,

1368
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:16,320
Speaker 1: I'll gladly do it.

1369
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:18,360
Speaker 4: It was so crazy that you said that too, because

1370
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:22,120
Speaker 4: I think I mentioned on air the fitness director I

1371
01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:25,160
Speaker 4: hired literally said and he likes this. Before the doors

1372
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:26,520
Speaker 4: were open, he goes, you know, he does this, He

1373
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:27,000
Speaker 4: likes this.

1374
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:28,960
Speaker 3: He always talks about how you would want this. And

1375
01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:31,760
Speaker 3: I can tell you. Guys are bad people. You in

1376
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:33,720
Speaker 3: sharp You know, you guys really are.

1377
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:35,760
Speaker 1: That's why we work so well together, and we've been

1378
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:44,040
Speaker 1: working some because we are the same picture of course.

1379
01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, yeah, I want to know that now I know.

1380
01:02:49,480 --> 01:02:53,080
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, watching the just thing happen, my whole thing

1381
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:56,560
Speaker 4: was like, okay, this is partly postpartum feeling. When you

1382
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:58,480
Speaker 4: were watching it happen, a lot of people were mad

1383
01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:01,520
Speaker 4: at you. Did you feel like, oh, he doesn't get it.

1384
01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 4: This is new mom syndrome, Like did you think anything

1385
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 4: about what was happening.

1386
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:06,880
Speaker 3: Was related part that he didn't get about. People were

1387
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:07,840
Speaker 3: saying that you.

1388
01:03:07,920 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 4: Were too hard on Jess and that you weren't understanding like, oh,

1389
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:14,240
Speaker 4: maternity leave whatever. As a mom, did you have a

1390
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:17,080
Speaker 4: moment where you thought this is about kids?

1391
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:19,640
Speaker 3: No? No, no, I didn't.

1392
01:03:20,360 --> 01:03:27,120
Speaker 8: You know, listen, I I believe that self control is

1393
01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:32,320
Speaker 8: very important. However, I never went through postpartum, so I

1394
01:03:32,520 --> 01:03:35,480
Speaker 8: can and that's another I cannot speak to it. I

1395
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:41,440
Speaker 8: never experienced postpartum, so I can't presume to imagine how

1396
01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:43,360
Speaker 8: she felt if any of it did in fact have

1397
01:03:43,480 --> 01:03:44,680
Speaker 8: to do with postpartum.

1398
01:03:45,040 --> 01:03:51,040
Speaker 3: But I don't think just in my estimation, I don't.

1399
01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:53,280
Speaker 3: I didn't. I didn't. That didn't occur to is I

1400
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:54,520
Speaker 3: related it a little bit?

1401
01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:57,640
Speaker 8: I just thought maybe maybe the emotional aspect of it,

1402
01:03:57,760 --> 01:04:00,880
Speaker 8: because postpartum can affect your hormone and whatnot.

1403
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:03,240
Speaker 3: That's possible. But I cried. When I'm not being messing,

1404
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:05,280
Speaker 3: I have the attitude of movies.

1405
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:08,920
Speaker 8: Like yes. So my point is I didn't make a

1406
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:10,800
Speaker 8: direct correlation to it.

1407
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:13,040
Speaker 1: And I look at it like this, you both have.

1408
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:18,760
Speaker 3: I'm the oldest, she's the only child, so I'm very tough.

1409
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:21,120
Speaker 1: I show tough love, right, And the reason I show

1410
01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:22,560
Speaker 1: tough love and I tell everybody all the time, and

1411
01:04:22,600 --> 01:04:24,160
Speaker 1: even with my kids, I show tough love because I

1412
01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:27,600
Speaker 1: feel like the world is unforgiven, right, so I can't

1413
01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:29,120
Speaker 1: baby you. You get out in the world, you get

1414
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:31,400
Speaker 1: smack and you cry. So I'm gonna be tough. And

1415
01:04:31,520 --> 01:04:33,080
Speaker 1: that's how I look at Jess. Yes, as I look

1416
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:35,080
Speaker 1: at her, we're in a breakfast club, that's my sister.

1417
01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:37,560
Speaker 1: I'm going to protect her. I'm going to fight for her.

1418
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:40,480
Speaker 1: If you're in my clique, we are together. So I

1419
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:43,320
Speaker 1: want her to know at that moment, like fuck them niggas,

1420
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:45,680
Speaker 1: like you good, you're great, You're great at what you do.

1421
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:48,480
Speaker 1: Falck them niggas, because that's what I would tell my daughter.

1422
01:04:48,560 --> 01:04:54,480
Speaker 3: I was gonna say that that is children. That is

1423
01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:55,600
Speaker 3: how he talks to our kids.

1424
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:58,960
Speaker 8: Like when when that When I was watching, that's what

1425
01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:01,000
Speaker 8: it didn't occur to me, Like like when I was watching,

1426
01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 8: I'm like, that's how you would talk to mad Yeah,

1427
01:05:03,960 --> 01:05:04,280
Speaker 8: that's why.

1428
01:05:05,120 --> 01:05:08,280
Speaker 4: It wasn't the comments. But I was feeling a lot

1429
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:09,840
Speaker 4: for her. There were so many thoughts in my head

1430
01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:11,080
Speaker 4: because you know, I was one of those like, oh,

1431
01:05:11,120 --> 01:05:13,160
Speaker 4: I hope that gets to be on the breakfast club too,

1432
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:15,400
Speaker 4: and I know y'all love her. I remember talking about

1433
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:19,120
Speaker 4: like oh, it's I think, yeah, but Yeah, that was

1434
01:05:19,160 --> 01:05:21,600
Speaker 4: such an interesting moments and it's crazy to relate it

1435
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:22,280
Speaker 4: to your kids.

1436
01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:24,880
Speaker 3: It felt uncle envious.

1437
01:05:25,120 --> 01:05:28,240
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Big Broye. Absolutely, but I would do the

1438
01:05:28,280 --> 01:05:30,120
Speaker 1: same with y'all. You know that, like, yeah, we have

1439
01:05:30,320 --> 01:05:33,640
Speaker 1: we had a hard talking the strip the middle, dancing

1440
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:38,080
Speaker 1: around hall, drinking handy.

1441
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:39,200
Speaker 3: He's like trying to.

1442
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:42,720
Speaker 1: Give you love, but that's who I am. If I

1443
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:44,480
Speaker 1: feel for you or I feel I have love for

1444
01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:45,120
Speaker 1: you and I feel like.

1445
01:05:45,120 --> 01:05:49,080
Speaker 3: You think that's why the passion? Yeah yeah, but you

1446
01:05:49,160 --> 01:05:50,520
Speaker 3: got are you the tough dad in here?

1447
01:05:51,160 --> 01:05:52,840
Speaker 1: Absolutely? Absolutely is.

1448
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:55,800
Speaker 3: It's almost too much? Do you think when are you? Like, okay,

1449
01:05:55,840 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 3: were now ra Sean doing too much? Yes, Joey, you

1450
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:03,640
Speaker 3: know it to Real Life, Real Family, y'all out this week.

1451
01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:07,080
Speaker 5: If you're listening to this on Monday, it is out tomorrow,

1452
01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:09,400
Speaker 5: so you can still pre order, but make sure you

1453
01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:12,160
Speaker 5: get Real Life, Real Family, A guide to raising empowered

1454
01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:13,720
Speaker 5: children not serial killers.

1455
01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:16,920
Speaker 3: And there's still workbook stuff in here. Tell us I

1456
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:17,200
Speaker 3: love it.

1457
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:20,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, so through the book, we kind of did

1458
01:06:20,640 --> 01:06:23,880
Speaker 8: it like workbook style an events where you receive a

1459
01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:27,880
Speaker 8: plethora of information in one chapter and it's relatable information.

1460
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:29,440
Speaker 8: This book is for everyone.

1461
01:06:29,640 --> 01:06:30,200
Speaker 1: You don't need to have.

1462
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:34,760
Speaker 8: Parenting is not a one size fits all endeavor. This

1463
01:06:35,040 --> 01:06:38,960
Speaker 8: book we wrote it intentionally for everyone. Whether you have children,

1464
01:06:39,040 --> 01:06:41,600
Speaker 8: you aspire to have children, you're a single parent, you're

1465
01:06:41,600 --> 01:06:46,360
Speaker 8: a parent of a child with add ADHD anxiety, this

1466
01:06:46,480 --> 01:06:48,520
Speaker 8: book is for you. But we would give you a

1467
01:06:48,560 --> 01:06:50,840
Speaker 8: plethora of information in the chapters, and then at the

1468
01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:55,200
Speaker 8: end of every chapter there's a real life moment at

1469
01:06:55,240 --> 01:06:57,200
Speaker 8: the end of it where you can ask. We ask

1470
01:06:57,280 --> 01:07:00,080
Speaker 8: you questions, We probe you to ask yourself questions so

1471
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:02,480
Speaker 8: that you can help yourself come up with answers that

1472
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:04,600
Speaker 8: we may not have provided in the chapter for you.

1473
01:07:04,960 --> 01:07:09,240
Speaker 8: It's it's like a conducive It's a conducive way of

1474
01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:12,040
Speaker 8: trying to communicate how our parenting can relate to you

1475
01:07:12,480 --> 01:07:14,960
Speaker 8: as a mother or a father or a potential one.

1476
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:17,120
Speaker 4: By the way, if you love how Gea speaks that

1477
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:20,280
Speaker 4: I do. You guys also have a podcast? Oh yes, Casey,

1478
01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:23,080
Speaker 4: Crew and I want to leave off because I just read.

1479
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:25,200
Speaker 1: The back of the Youth want to come on the podcasts?

1480
01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:28,240
Speaker 1: You want to come with your your mate mate?

1481
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:31,360
Speaker 4: Oh, I had something that's on my mind with my mate.

1482
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:35,520
Speaker 4: He swears of en down postpartum is not as common

1483
01:07:35,560 --> 01:07:37,640
Speaker 4: in women that have a big support system or a

1484
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:39,919
Speaker 4: loving marriage, and I think it's such a toxic thought.

1485
01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:43,120
Speaker 3: But when you just said that, I'm like, huh, there

1486
01:07:43,200 --> 01:07:44,120
Speaker 3: might be something to that.

1487
01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:48,480
Speaker 5: I better come, not with my partner. You don't even

1488
01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:50,880
Speaker 5: want to do podcasts. I'll come with body.

1489
01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:51,640
Speaker 3: I'll come on my cat.

1490
01:07:52,840 --> 01:07:54,400
Speaker 5: By the way, I do want to leave off with this,

1491
01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:57,600
Speaker 5: not only telling you guys to pre order and purchase.

1492
01:07:57,680 --> 01:08:00,600
Speaker 5: This book is out this week April, fifth teeth. I

1493
01:08:00,640 --> 01:08:04,280
Speaker 5: love the mission statement, so leaving y'all with something. If

1494
01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:07,760
Speaker 5: you are in a family, dynamic, friendship, dynamic, work, dynamic,

1495
01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:11,160
Speaker 5: we are a unit. We respect each other, we always

1496
01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:14,040
Speaker 5: have each other's backs. We always uplift each other and

1497
01:08:14,120 --> 01:08:16,479
Speaker 5: point out the good in one another. We represent each

1498
01:08:16,479 --> 01:08:20,799
Speaker 5: other at all times. Our overarching purpose is rooted in family,

1499
01:08:21,040 --> 01:08:23,280
Speaker 5: fun and faith, and last but not least, we are

1500
01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:25,080
Speaker 5: each other's soft place to land.

1501
01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:26,920
Speaker 3: Real life, real family.

1502
01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:29,639
Speaker 5: Also, if you want to double up, bundle get real life,

1503
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:34,960
Speaker 5: real love. Thank you guys, So thank you guys for

1504
01:08:35,120 --> 01:08:37,080
Speaker 5: finding me motherfucker.

1505
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:39,400
Speaker 3: Time for us. Thank you, appreciate all y'all. Make sure

1506
01:08:39,400 --> 01:08:42,600
Speaker 3: you have a get that and y'all flee you on

1507
01:08:42,720 --> 01:08:43,479
Speaker 3: our book No Holds.

1508
01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:46,920
Speaker 5: Bard also become patrons Patreon dot com, back Slash Horror Decisions.

1509
01:08:47,160 --> 01:08:49,800
Speaker 3: This has been yet another episode of This is This

1510
01:08:49,920 --> 01:08:51,120
Speaker 3: is Peace,