Speaker 1: Forever. Look man, oh, I see why? Why? And look
Speaker 1: over there? How is that larger? Yes? Goodness. Let's ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen please welcome to the stage. Last culture Ristas
Speaker 1: Dan da culture Estas College. Who I love this for you? Guys? Okay,
Speaker 1: whose idea was this? People listening at home? There is
Speaker 1: a unit of upholstery, there's a mad and two gorgeous
Speaker 1: people are sitting on freaking gorgeous. Were you the last
Speaker 1: couple that held up the show? We were told backstage,
Speaker 1: the last the last couples getting a drink? Are you,
Speaker 1: in fact a couple? No? No? What's the chief reason
Speaker 1: why you are not? Gentlemen? M What was your I
Speaker 1: want to hear from you what what was your diplomatic
Speaker 1: And you were gonna say he prefers you know what
Speaker 1: were you going to say? Yeah, just a dick? Dick
Speaker 1: on anybody? Can I say? I don't feel like the
Speaker 1: dick is what's what makes me gay? You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, let's unpack it's the it's the well.
Speaker 1: I don't feel that the dick is the most attractive
Speaker 1: part of the man. This is what's happening or the
Speaker 1: mail presenting? You're a homosexual, which means you're attracted to
Speaker 1: the same gender and you're just attracted to men and
Speaker 1: men don't have to have dicks, but mostly like ass Actually, there,
Speaker 1: we got we got it. We got that. Um listen, listen.
Speaker 1: That was just a cold open. Really, that was just
Speaker 1: a little teaser for what was to come. This is
Speaker 1: the very first time I've ever done something like this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: where we've had a crowd fun. It's super loose, super
Speaker 1: kash were loose, grouper Kaz. You're wearing like a like
Speaker 1: a stripe. Yeah, I wore this. Oh, this is gonna
Speaker 1: be a theme for tonight. We're gonna we're going to
Speaker 1: talk about breakups in general. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wore
Speaker 1: this to a thing two drinks on Monday with this
Speaker 1: guy um, and I thought he was gonna want to
Speaker 1: get back together, and instead what he wanted to do
Speaker 1: was just have a postmortem on us. He wanted to
Speaker 1: have a top back about the relationship. It was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I want to dress for the the boyfriend I want
Speaker 1: to have and I put this on and it was like,
Speaker 1: I want to accent my shoulders literally, can I ask
Speaker 1: the question I asked you every time this happens, which
Speaker 1: one wasn't Because there's two boys. Yeah, this one was
Speaker 1: the one who was already a doctor. Okay, not the
Speaker 1: one who not there's there. So there's two of them,
Speaker 1: and one of them is already a doctor, and one
Speaker 1: of them is like a baby. Um, they're both truly
Speaker 1: both listen. Yeah, So it didn't it didn't work. So
Speaker 1: it was, in essence it was another breakup. Existentially, it
Speaker 1: felt like it felt like a rejection. It was like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not a fan of the positions that you keep
Speaker 1: putting yourself in with him. This is an intervention. Um,
Speaker 1: we're all here because we love you. Um, but that's okay,
Speaker 1: it's fine. You're in Los Angeles, babe. There's so many
Speaker 1: gay men. This one right, there's one right there. He
Speaker 1: chose the sat on the floor close to you. He no,
Speaker 1: he was ushered in in place. Okay, Um, how are you?
Speaker 1: This is truly our first conversational moment of catching We've
Speaker 1: been separated, we've been separated, and it's been he's he's
Speaker 1: been the Bethany Frankel. All of a sudden, he's like,
Speaker 1: I gotta go, and so offendive. He walks in he
Speaker 1: walks in. No point was I ever, not ever, not
Speaker 1: even when she was likable. Never, Because I also I'm
Speaker 1: not that creative. He walks in, He walks, and he goes, uh, hi, sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm the Hello, good to see you. We haven't seen
Speaker 1: each other in a while. I gotta go, I gotta go.
Speaker 1: And then and then it's like, yeah, it's like I
Speaker 1: get it. Matt used to, you know, sell muffins in
Speaker 1: a grocery store, and now he makes skinny Girl. It's great. Um,
Speaker 1: you know I identify with Dorinda. Yeah, but all of
Speaker 1: us want to be Derenda and what and what you
Speaker 1: and I both are are Ramonas Ramonas and um Sonia Risings. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so we are, you guys, fans of Real Housewives of
Speaker 1: New York York. My takeaway from the whole thing is,
Speaker 1: what the fuck is Sonya's new apartment? Oh, it's so sad.
Speaker 1: It's so sad. It is I and the fact that
Speaker 1: she still has her assistant like hut up chunks of
Speaker 1: banana or whatever the funk and like put them on
Speaker 1: a plate and bring them to her while she is
Speaker 1: supine in her bed talking to herself out loud, it's sad.
Speaker 1: It's not whatever she voted for Trump. I don't care.
Speaker 1: I don't feel sorry for her. Okay, no, but this
Speaker 1: is the thing about the housewives. Tell us the thing
Speaker 1: about that, at least for New York Sonya Ramona Lui
Speaker 1: an all little trumpets. And this is even worse. Tinsley
Speaker 1: registered in I think Florida and didn't vote. Did not vote. Guys, Okay,
Speaker 1: you shook your head. You were like, we've chilled the room.
Speaker 1: It's fine, we don't. We can move on anyway. We can.
Speaker 1: This is not but this is not about the election tonight.
Speaker 1: This is not about the election tonight. Um. It's about Breakupsum.
Speaker 1: Our guest broke up with someone two hours ago. So
Speaker 1: that's why we that's why we bring this up. That's
Speaker 1: what that was. That's that feeling of thickness in the air.
Speaker 1: It's that it's at and I broke up with someone
Speaker 1: recently to two years ago, and I talked about it.
Speaker 1: Not not a lot. Yeah, but that's okay. He's doing well.
Speaker 1: He's petting elephants in Thailand. Don't worry. He doesn't listen anymore.
Speaker 1: He told me that. Okay. Oh, then in that case,
Speaker 1: it's really nice to see a white person in Thailand.
Speaker 1: Here we go just drag white. No, no, no, take
Speaker 1: us down, because honestly it it immediately puts me in
Speaker 1: it just it takes me to any pre love place
Speaker 1: and and then I feel better. I feel nice. The
Speaker 1: shocking thing about like gay people in Thailand is if
Speaker 1: they were even to say that they were gay, like
Speaker 1: whisper it, they'd be immediately like, no, not in Thailand.
Speaker 1: Not in Thailand. It's the gaze are running around running
Speaker 1: the muck. Really yeah, no, Thailand is Thailand is great.
Speaker 1: I Thailand though, is this I've never been, but I
Speaker 1: you would love to have gone right now? You'd love
Speaker 1: to expound. Yeah, I'm just yeah. I actually will just
Speaker 1: stop it right there. And one of my what do
Speaker 1: I havepen is they about Tilia. I do want to
Speaker 1: go to the eastern part of this world. No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: last thing you said I want to go to the East.
Speaker 1: I would like to go to the East. Keep calling
Speaker 1: it the East. I would like to go to the
Speaker 1: East because they have a large disneyland in Shanghai that
Speaker 1: I would like to go to. Yes, queen, yes, why
Speaker 1: did you just go? You are Okay, what's your name?
Speaker 1: What you have a sweatshirt? Oh it's a it's a dad.
Speaker 1: I'm even better. What's your name? Hey girl? Um? I
Speaker 1: know about forty five Amanda's Um hi, you pointed, Really no,
Speaker 1: that's good if I I would love to have a
Speaker 1: Disneyland Instagram. In fact, I sort of do. It's my
Speaker 1: personal instagram. Um. So I just went for my birthday.
Speaker 1: It was really great. Yes, um we ate. I ate
Speaker 1: a turkey like somewhere they're so big he got he
Speaker 1: got the trip to fan honey anyway? By no, no, no?
Speaker 1: How often do you go? Do you have a season pass? Yes?
Speaker 1: What's the cadence? How often are we going? Seriously? Okay,
Speaker 1: that's literally what I'm going to turn into if I
Speaker 1: move here. I have Sunday off And I was like hmm,
Speaker 1: and then can I ask what do you do? What
Speaker 1: do you do? Do you have to have to have
Speaker 1: a job? Do you work? See? That's cool for what
Speaker 1: it could become uncool so fast right now? Literally for what? Yeah? Wait,
Speaker 1: go back, go back? So does he get do so
Speaker 1: we'll say your job into the mic. I'm a social
Speaker 1: media producer for Dr Philips. You asked you By the way,
Speaker 1: you asked how did this happen? Is because I said
Speaker 1: the word Disneyland and you went like this, that's how
Speaker 1: this is currently happening. Okay, So does he come up
Speaker 1: with like social media ideas and you make them a reality.
Speaker 1: It's it's more like strategy, like he help him with that,
Speaker 1: Like we kind of come up with stuff to post for.
Speaker 1: What does he struggle with? What does he have trouble
Speaker 1: to do with me? He wants to post like a
Speaker 1: lot and we have to be like, no, like, don't
Speaker 1: post that much. You need to like less is more,
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, yeah, I agree, Um cool, um, okay,
Speaker 1: So gotta say I gotta point out Dr Film, my
Speaker 1: second favorite TV doctor. I like Dr oz Oh. It's
Speaker 1: a hot button issue in this room. We'll post the
Speaker 1: post Trump interview. He's he's done. Oh I didn't know
Speaker 1: about this? What happened? What do you mean you didn't
Speaker 1: know about this? This was in the fucking lead up
Speaker 1: to the fucking election. Don't scream. He gave Trump a
Speaker 1: platform to show off his fucking physical and be like, look,
Speaker 1: my prostate is sound like I'm so happy you said
Speaker 1: the words prostate because that reminds me of a story
Speaker 1: I have bad Doctor oz So. I once went to
Speaker 1: the Doctors Show and it was an all male audience.
Speaker 1: And then this was in college. I went with Billy Domino.
Speaker 1: We went and it was an all male audience. And
Speaker 1: the warm up, the stand the guy who like warms
Speaker 1: up the crowd clearly has only ever had crowds of
Speaker 1: all women because it's Dr oz So. He came out
Speaker 1: and like he busted through. Hey queen, uh yep, so
Speaker 1: I'm telling my doctor story. You're tested time we're talking
Speaker 1: about Dr So. The stand up that like warms up
Speaker 1: the crowd for Dr oz like busted through the door.
Speaker 1: He just goes, where's my men? And everyone was like
Speaker 1: and he was like and he literally immediately caught himself
Speaker 1: and he's like, sorry, I'm just excited. He was like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm just excited that there's men here. And
Speaker 1: we were just like like his job is to like
Speaker 1: make us comfortable, and we were just like we're we're
Speaker 1: not for you, and you're not for us. Did he
Speaker 1: say the words, sorry, I'm just excited that there's men.
Speaker 1: He said some variation of that. Yes, um, but anyway,
Speaker 1: that was helpful. They passed out little pretend ball sacks
Speaker 1: and we felt it up for testically or cancer testically.
Speaker 1: Yeah what, um what are the signs? Uh? Rock hard?
Speaker 1: Little pebble in your ball sack? God? Um no, but
Speaker 1: how's life been? This is truly I do for me? Yes,
Speaker 1: like great, I'm very happy. Good good? Are you happy?
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm I'm good. This this trip has just
Speaker 1: ended up being I thought I wanted a little mini vacation,
Speaker 1: a pseudo vacation for myself, and it just ended up
Speaker 1: being the boundaries are are down and it's work is
Speaker 1: work is life and I'm living for the way you're
Speaker 1: holding the mic like this, So yeah, it's it's just, um,
Speaker 1: it's hard, this is this is How did that happen?
Speaker 1: What's happening? I just I gave I gave her a
Speaker 1: little a little h J and then I worked up
Speaker 1: my way up the shaft and I landed at the rim.
Speaker 1: Do you know what? We watched a video in the
Speaker 1: room I'm in the other day and it was a
Speaker 1: it was a woman who um she was like being
Speaker 1: a dj at, like a bar mitzvah, and she the
Speaker 1: mic was like this, and the mike lodged all the
Speaker 1: way down her throat somehow. And so now every time
Speaker 1: I go to a show and they say the mics
Speaker 1: are not that hot, so go like this, I'm very hesitant.
Speaker 1: And by now I mean the one time I've been
Speaker 1: at a show since then, which is right now. Anyway,
Speaker 1: the moral of a story is be careful of Mike's
Speaker 1: over and under on one of us swallowing a mic tonight.
Speaker 1: I think one of us, well, one of us will
Speaker 1: swallow him. I think our guests may swallow Was that
Speaker 1: an intro to? Is that like a I want to
Speaker 1: say one more thing before we bring out our fucking
Speaker 1: stunning guests. Um bow and Yang has some ink? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: did you see his tattoo? I got a tattoo, thanks,
Speaker 1: um marked your body, marked my body. Um we'll see.
Speaker 1: I'm seeing my parents in two days and we'll see
Speaker 1: what they think. Will they be will be? But it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Um, I this is this is like but
Speaker 1: this is like a pocketive of like Chinese School's Sharon
Speaker 1: in the audience, Sharon, Sharon and I went to Chinese
Speaker 1: school together in Denver, And um this this, this brings
Speaker 1: back memories. But this is but I think, like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna lead with this is what I'm gonna tell my parents,
Speaker 1: because you're gonna get this. I'm gonna be like, this
Speaker 1: is actually a tribute to Lawyah, to Grandpa, and because
Speaker 1: he loves calligraphy, because this is a calligraphy grid. And
Speaker 1: I was like, and I think that's that's gonna be
Speaker 1: my spin for it. Sharon, what no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, Sharon, Sharon an accusation her, you are the
Speaker 1: new Amanda. Okay, Queen Sharon, you and I weren't in
Speaker 1: the same classes. Tell me all about how bow and
Speaker 1: Yang cheated his way to this very stage in Chinese school.
Speaker 1: In Chinese school, yeah, yes, oh that. There's so much
Speaker 1: dirt on your bow. And he was actually amazing student.
Speaker 1: I was the cheater. No, you never cheated. You were
Speaker 1: very good. I think we all cheated throughout Chinese school.
Speaker 1: I think it's just unrealistic to expect. It's basically every
Speaker 1: Sunday we were forced to suffer through this classroom full
Speaker 1: of Chinese kids who didn't really speak Chinese to each other.
Speaker 1: We spoke English. Yeah, but it was Chinese school was
Speaker 1: actually a um, a battleground for the parents to work
Speaker 1: out their political bullshit. It was actually but China School,
Speaker 1: give me one good memory. Do you remember this kid
Speaker 1: sharing this kid one time? This was that this was
Speaker 1: at peak Yugio culture and this couldn't have been older
Speaker 1: than nine years old. This little boy in a bowl
Speaker 1: cut was walking around the halls of Chinese school holding
Speaker 1: up a holographic blue eyes white dragon wood, a card
Speaker 1: that is in every starter deck. And he's holding this
Speaker 1: up and walking around the halls showing it to people,
Speaker 1: just not saying a word, just being like smugly, being like,
Speaker 1: look what I have. And the parents, the teachers, the students,
Speaker 1: we were all like, we don't give a ship and
Speaker 1: that is social media. So we got that kid. I
Speaker 1: just have to interview one more person, and it's this
Speaker 1: queen sucking on a lollipop. This young woman is sucking
Speaker 1: on a lollipop and you wanted me to see, so
Speaker 1: I am gonna ask you about it. Hi, how are
Speaker 1: you great? How's the law? It's pretty good? What flav
Speaker 1: I think? It's chocolate ill that sucks? And that concludes
Speaker 1: the like I thought the most disgusting thing you could
Speaker 1: say was grape and you said chocolate. Anyway, I should
Speaker 1: is it time. I think it's time. I think we
Speaker 1: I think we bring out our very special gas. We
Speaker 1: truly have a very special guest. Um he is. He's
Speaker 1: someone who truly was like out there, like putting shit
Speaker 1: out for a while. Um uh, and he still does.
Speaker 1: He's still so good. He has an album out called
Speaker 1: Late Bloomer. He's wonderful. He's he's done amazing something. He
Speaker 1: actually someone said this to me, they didn't start this
Speaker 1: this kid that this guy that I was talking to
Speaker 1: was like, I didn't start drinking the Kroise until his
Speaker 1: song Lacroix Boy. And this guy is permeating the culture constantly.
Speaker 1: Um and he's an amazing musician, amazing producer. He produces
Speaker 1: a podcast on this network called Race Chaser hosted by
Speaker 1: Willem in Alaska. And um god, he's so talented, such
Speaker 1: a funny, great talented musician. We're so excited to have him.
Speaker 1: So please welcome here and in your ears, big Dipper. Yeah, yeah, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: we wanted. We wanted to come out to Icona, Pops,
Speaker 1: I love it, and then got we got scared and
Speaker 1: came out to Lizzo instead. But I came out to Hi. Hi.
Speaker 1: Oh we're kicking your feet up. We're we're we're doing
Speaker 1: ottomans if you if you like that you have Why
Speaker 1: is this night different than all other nights? Um? So listen,
Speaker 1: we did break the news to the audience that you
Speaker 1: had went through a breakup. Are you feel uncomfortable to try?
Speaker 1: I heard you say that, yeah, mirror hours ago. How
Speaker 1: are you doing? I'm good? I Uh. One of the
Speaker 1: one of the issues was I was told I'm an
Speaker 1: avoidant personality, so here I am doing a show instead
Speaker 1: of dealing with it. You know what you've done. Dealt
Speaker 1: with that, dealt with that? Yeah, I feel like that. Okay,
Speaker 1: So can can we can we tell the audience that
Speaker 1: you went into this sure with a script? I did. Yes.
Speaker 1: It was really intense because it was a brand new
Speaker 1: experience for me. I had never really been in that
Speaker 1: experience before. Uh, in that situation, and I knew that
Speaker 1: I wanted to say exactly what I wanted to say,
Speaker 1: So I wrote it on my phone like an asshole
Speaker 1: and then read it. That's cool. Did you ever look
Speaker 1: up to but listen, you would have the same reaction
Speaker 1: right well to what you've like read a script before
Speaker 1: that like has emotional beats in it for sure, and
Speaker 1: I'm a good writer. So I wrote like something that
Speaker 1: was did you feel like I mean, that's the problem.
Speaker 1: I was trying not to. I was trying to just yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just trying to be and I felt like
Speaker 1: there were elements of it that were performative. Oh so
Speaker 1: did the audience respond? Uh? Not? Well, it was very intense.
Speaker 1: I'm also trying to take a note because I listened
Speaker 1: to the podcast and on a recent episode there was
Speaker 1: a conversation about talking about experiences in your life but
Speaker 1: not speaking for the other person. Did you guys hear
Speaker 1: that on their podcast? Do you remember this conversation? No
Speaker 1: one here has ever listened. No one listens to Lucia.
Speaker 1: These are all my cousins. M yeah, um no, just
Speaker 1: the idea that, like, I can talk about what I
Speaker 1: went through. But you know, it appeared like it wasn't
Speaker 1: received very well. No, No, well, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: sorry too. It's sort of like a sad, weird, shitty situation.
Speaker 1: One aspect of this that we don't have to speak
Speaker 1: for him, sure, but one aspect of him that were
Speaker 1: them woman, No, my fucking asshole fell out. I was
Speaker 1: so scared. Also in the earlier when you were like,
Speaker 1: it's the thing for me about being gay, it's not
Speaker 1: the dick. I was like, it's the dick. It's the dick.
Speaker 1: It's the It's not the dick for me, it's the
Speaker 1: dick for me. They all look the same. You've seen one,
Speaker 1: you've seen them all. I think I think it we
Speaker 1: need to hang out because that is not true. Is
Speaker 1: that because your dick is like a fork or something? Yes,
Speaker 1: spork sport. Oh, it's got concavity. So um. One aspect
Speaker 1: of this is that you were like in in the
Speaker 1: period of you guys dating, we were traveling, yes, and
Speaker 1: but things were being hashed out as you were traveling,
Speaker 1: which I feel like in the nascent stages of a relationship,
Speaker 1: when one person goes somewhere far away, it's kind of
Speaker 1: like hitting pause. It's like, well, we're not going to
Speaker 1: see each other, so let's just effectively pretend that this
Speaker 1: is on a on a little bit of a break, right.
Speaker 1: But he was whatever, we don't have to get in.
Speaker 1: Really it was. It was very intense. It was start
Speaker 1: to finish six weeks, that's it was. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: just and I was in another hemisphere for twelve days
Speaker 1: of those six it was very without him or with
Speaker 1: him without Okay, so, but I think one of the
Speaker 1: worst things you can do is like take a vacation
Speaker 1: to save the relationship. Like we had a friend that
Speaker 1: did that and then they ended up breaking up in
Speaker 1: literal Paris. That's like and then fly back sitting next
Speaker 1: another believe really that's what they did. Yes, yeah, I didn't,
Speaker 1: but I didn't change their No, but I didn't think
Speaker 1: about the flying back. You gotta think about that. You
Speaker 1: gotta think about logistics always, but also in the time
Speaker 1: not gonna well, I guess I am. And like the
Speaker 1: last few months of our relationship, we took a euro
Speaker 1: trip and I thought, wow, this is what relationship are
Speaker 1: you referring to you listen to the show No, but
Speaker 1: I just remember, like we took a European vacation and
Speaker 1: I was like, is this helping? And then you think
Speaker 1: it is because it's like you're you put yourself in
Speaker 1: like a romantic setting and like you're seeing new things
Speaker 1: together and having a new experience and that kind of
Speaker 1: like prolongs dealing with what's real. It's like in that
Speaker 1: episode of Madmen when um when uh, Don Draper and
Speaker 1: January Jones go to um, yes, down they go to
Speaker 1: Italy and she's got like a perfect haircut, and then
Speaker 1: they're like they love each other. And then they get
Speaker 1: back and it's like back to the fifties. Babe falls away,
Speaker 1: the haircut, the haircut falls away. It was all a piece. Yeah. Wait,
Speaker 1: and what was the outcome of your postmortem? Uh? Just
Speaker 1: that did you get critical feedback to change things in
Speaker 1: the future a little bit? Yeah? That's like an intense thing, right,
Speaker 1: And I when someone's like, I don't know you very well,
Speaker 1: but let me tell you all about yourself. Well, he
Speaker 1: he was framing it in terms of like and he's
Speaker 1: going to listen. He was framing it in terms of
Speaker 1: like shout out hey. Um, we've had conversations where he's
Speaker 1: felt uncomfortable about any mere mention of him when I've talked. Well,
Speaker 1: that's because Bin used his first name on an episode once,
Speaker 1: but this we're not using his first name on this episode.
Speaker 1: So he it's Kevin. Yeah, I was gonna guess he
Speaker 1: would ne were dating Kevin who knows um? And he
Speaker 1: was okay, he was like, you know, I was I
Speaker 1: was really attracted to you until you did this, and
Speaker 1: then I was like, I'm well, sorry I did that.
Speaker 1: Then what did you do? I well, because I was,
Speaker 1: I was in this place there was this big disparity
Speaker 1: between and this is this is all just insecurity, I
Speaker 1: was like, I what am I doing with a guy
Speaker 1: like this? I was like, oh, he's way out of
Speaker 1: my league. And then out of that insecurity, I was
Speaker 1: one one night just pillow talk. I was like I
Speaker 1: was testing the waters and I was basically being like,
Speaker 1: so I've and whatever. In many words, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm sort of seeing other people, but I don't know,
Speaker 1: like maybe like maybe I don't have to whatever. It
Speaker 1: was more graceful than that. But um, apparently me talking
Speaker 1: about seeing other people while we were dating on exclusively
Speaker 1: was like the thing that like I just killed it.
Speaker 1: He wanted it to be. I'm sorry, they wanted it
Speaker 1: to be. He spoke, it's actually rutal culture. Number nine,
Speaker 1: bowen Yang is straight. We didn't together. Bowen Yang is straight.
Speaker 1: Remember when I said I had a note for you,
Speaker 1: what's your note? This is my note as a listener.
Speaker 1: I know that you have there's a person out there
Speaker 1: who keeps track of all the rules, Kelly, Kelly, Joe,
Speaker 1: I would just like, I want to encourage you to
Speaker 1: just put a one in front of front of your numbers,
Speaker 1: because we're probably up in the one at this point.
Speaker 1: I hear you, and no, I'm like listening, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I hate the fact that there's like a nine ABC.
Speaker 1: So Kelly keeps very good Matt's go to number for rules.
Speaker 1: So it's fourteen, either of those, and then those are
Speaker 1: the only two numbers I know. I don't even know too,
Speaker 1: I don't know how I just did that. Uh. And
Speaker 1: and she'll she'll, she'll do like a like a point
Speaker 1: seventeen point at one sevent I mean I figured, Um,
Speaker 1: but um wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, the
Speaker 1: thing for him was that? Uh? That was that was
Speaker 1: the thing that I killed it for him. Wait, we
Speaker 1: were saying something. You were straight? I was straight straight anyway. Anyway. Um,
Speaker 1: so here's the thing. I'm sorry you went through a breakup, y,
Speaker 1: but but we're not here to talk about him them.
Speaker 1: She right, We're here to talk about you. Yeah, So,
Speaker 1: which apparently was why the breakup up? Too much talk about.
Speaker 1: So let's just continue that. Um, we ask everyone a
Speaker 1: question here on Loss Cultures Us, and that question is
Speaker 1: what was the culture that made you say culture was
Speaker 1: for you? This is the formative pop culture in your
Speaker 1: life that turned you into this beautiful, gorgeous hunk of
Speaker 1: man we see before us. So go on and tell
Speaker 1: us that. Um I thought about this a lot because
Speaker 1: I know that you asked this question. And something that
Speaker 1: really stuck out in my mind what was the v
Speaker 1: M A S. Which was that Chris Rock hosted Brittany
Speaker 1: performed with in Sync and introduced them by saying, I'd
Speaker 1: like to introduce you to some friends of mine, right,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, and it was like, oh, it was okay.
Speaker 1: And then TLC performed in the all red nose Scrubs
Speaker 1: moment where they gave them eight feet of stage, like
Speaker 1: do you remember this? There was like a scream down
Speaker 1: and you were like, they don't get the whole stage?
Speaker 1: What the fun was that? That? Your Fiona Apple one
Speaker 1: or no, No, I'm just kidding. That was rude. I
Speaker 1: didn't mean to say that she gave my sister an
Speaker 1: eating disorder. I don't know, Fiona didn't she give every
Speaker 1: Dayder of the nine is absolutely Do you remember the
Speaker 1: video for what was it called smooth Criminal No more
Speaker 1: like smooth Oh yeah, thank you? Okay, So Horrible has
Speaker 1: had so many good live performances and like just like
Speaker 1: there was a lot of like crossover that I didn't
Speaker 1: realize was probably like back end record companies being like,
Speaker 1: oh if these people work like this will make more money,
Speaker 1: you know, like and it was just this sort of
Speaker 1: like convergence of like art and capitalism and like pop
Speaker 1: culture and didn't they do it like the met or
Speaker 1: the Center or something. And that was when Diana Ross like, uh, jiggle, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was iconic. Yes, that whole show, and I feel
Speaker 1: like it was really iconic. And after that show was
Speaker 1: so cool. I then and I grew up not having cable.
Speaker 1: I then made it my busin this to always like
Speaker 1: my friend taped it for me, so I watched that
Speaker 1: on VHS. So I then made up my business to
Speaker 1: always go watch the v m a's And and they
Speaker 1: sort of never really, I mean there were moments, but
Speaker 1: like in my mind, they never lived up to that.
Speaker 1: And I really really am like into pop music. I'm
Speaker 1: really into like like I love thinking about even when
Speaker 1: it's like a trash strategy. I love thinking about like, oh,
Speaker 1: they put those words in that song that helps sell
Speaker 1: this car because Ford kind of owns this record, you know,
Speaker 1: like that kind of stuff. I'm like, who's doing that?
Speaker 1: You know, like I always think, and I like figuring
Speaker 1: that out your love for pop music, and I guess
Speaker 1: I don't think I noticed that until much later, because
Speaker 1: I'm extraordinarily dumb. But um um, do you remember this.
Speaker 1: I was really into X Factor when it came on,
Speaker 1: and so I was telling Study like, you have to
Speaker 1: watch X Factor with me. You will love X Factor
Speaker 1: and like she would hate X Factor. But we sat
Speaker 1: down to watch it and there was this scene. I
Speaker 1: remember the moment I became aware of capitalism because she
Speaker 1: was like, look how many pepsi cans are in every
Speaker 1: single shot? And I was like, oh my god. And
Speaker 1: that's just like the moment I saw the pepsi cans
Speaker 1: and then I couldn't unsee them, Like now everywhere all
Speaker 1: I see is pepsi can. I literally was having this
Speaker 1: conversation the other day because I just watched an episode
Speaker 1: of High Maintenance where he like wakes up in a
Speaker 1: Casper mattress store and you're like, oh, that seems fun,
Speaker 1: and then you're like, wait, like it says she's wearing
Speaker 1: a hat. They're like in a store, and I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: they got paid by Casper Mattress. And I was like,
Speaker 1: is that a job I can do where someone goes
Speaker 1: you need to we like like fiddle a way to
Speaker 1: put these products into a script. And I'm sure that job.
Speaker 1: Is that your job? Oh? Okay, we'll email me because
Speaker 1: I'll be good at that job. Because rap music about
Speaker 1: anal sex does not pay well. It's frightening when you
Speaker 1: think about like how much we're being like sold at
Speaker 1: all times. Like you know the movie Josie and the Pussycats.
Speaker 1: I think that ship is so ahead of its time
Speaker 1: and genius and I think Parker Posey should have won
Speaker 1: an Oscar for it, if only for the scene where
Speaker 1: she comes down the stairs at the parties and they
Speaker 1: play a musical theater version of why did you do what?
Speaker 1: You dude? To me? Baby? And she's like, truev any crazy?
Speaker 1: You know if I could I do anything for you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That we're beautiful? Um, such a genius. What have you
Speaker 1: seen that movie? Never? Stupid bitch? Oh, I was just
Speaker 1: smiling and not with you. You haven't seen is Rosario
Speaker 1: Dawson and yes, Rachel Cook in it, Yes, Rachel aware
Speaker 1: of it. I don't do, don't do Rachel Lee Cook.
Speaker 1: And who's the third? And who's the third? You know? Uh?
Speaker 1: Terror read stop terror reads someone who is dead? Who's
Speaker 1: gonna guess? Brittany Murphy. She would have been great, She
Speaker 1: would have been great. No, she was. She was busy
Speaker 1: at the time with riding in cars with boys, so
Speaker 1: she um no, no, no, terror read. She was dating
Speaker 1: Carson Daley at the time. Sorry, I'm thinking of Tara
Speaker 1: Lepinsky every time you say Terry. Honestly, they look alike,
Speaker 1: do the Tara Lepinsky and Terry Ready twins? Um? Wait?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she was dating Carsondilli at the time. And
Speaker 1: there's the scene where like Carsonally tries to kill them. Yeah, oh,
Speaker 1: it's so good. Carson Daley is in the film, Carson
Speaker 1: Daily plays Carson Daily and he tries to kill them. Well,
Speaker 1: it's actually funny because like it's funny because the record
Speaker 1: exacts are like, oh, those two know too much. We
Speaker 1: have to get rid of them. So we're gonna send
Speaker 1: the two of the Rosario, Dawson and Terry to t
Speaker 1: R L and they're gonna go, and then they get
Speaker 1: to the student it's all cardboard cutouts of all these celebrities.
Speaker 1: It's really funny. It's so stupid. And then Carson Daily
Speaker 1: comes out with Airy Spears from that TV fame and
Speaker 1: they then the two of them have to kill them.
Speaker 1: And then it was actually a vehicle for Arie Spears
Speaker 1: to do his Mike Tyson impression. It was that so
Speaker 1: that that's what it was like. I'm very inspired by capitalism.
Speaker 1: The whole film was like agents being like and then Yes,
Speaker 1: so that movie is about like they become this like
Speaker 1: pop star supergroup like overnight, and in their music, deeply
Speaker 1: embedded in the tracks is like you want to buy Starbucks,
Speaker 1: you want to buy movie Phone? Then I should watch
Speaker 1: this film. Yeah, you would love it. That's why I
Speaker 1: bring it up. I didn't just bring it up. I
Speaker 1: didn't just bring it up to sing that song. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't put no probably, and they have it. They
Speaker 1: have it has an amazing performance by Missy Pyle and
Speaker 1: she's incredible. Is really Alan Cumming? Jesus? Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1: I can't believe you haven't seen it. Okay, So what
Speaker 1: I would say two thousand as sort of lived up
Speaker 1: to ninety nine where you had the Canadian, you had
Speaker 1: Justin and Brittany in that was the year right with
Speaker 1: I think in two thousand and it was like Eminem
Speaker 1: did the big like the number where he had all
Speaker 1: the people the music video where everyone was dressed like him.
Speaker 1: What was that song called just like meet the Real
Speaker 1: slim shading. I'm so mad that we're talking about. Okay,
Speaker 1: and then Brittany did pops, I did it again. I
Speaker 1: got no satisfaction. Yeah, that was good. He didn't He
Speaker 1: probably did say poops, I did it again. He loves poop.
Speaker 1: He loves to talk about it. Yeah, that one probably
Speaker 1: lived up to it. Yeah, but you have to adjacent
Speaker 1: years of like awesome, awesome, and they have also been
Speaker 1: very bad ones. Was I with you when we know?
Speaker 1: I think it was Gretta when we watched them, the
Speaker 1: Britney Spears, Christina Agilira Madonna thing. Yeah, that actually was
Speaker 1: a good performance. Like I know the kiss like gets
Speaker 1: most of the fanfare, but like the choreography was good,
Speaker 1: like Britney sounded okay. I'm gonna say such like a
Speaker 1: nowadays statement, which is I saw a tweet and I
Speaker 1: literally can't remember who tweeted it, but it was about that,
Speaker 1: and it was like something about um the editor who decided, yeah,
Speaker 1: was that your tweet? Did you see this? But I
Speaker 1: remember it someone saw this on gay Twitter, right, But
Speaker 1: it was the idea of like, oh, whoever decided to
Speaker 1: cut to Justin? Timberlake's reaction made Bionic not a number
Speaker 1: one because that was the beginning of the end for Christine.
Speaker 1: Had we seen the kiss with Madonna her album? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like, that's an insane thought and true. True.
Speaker 1: I have a friend, We have a friend Colin who
Speaker 1: will text me regularly this this exact sentence, just just
Speaker 1: on like every a few months or so. He goes.
Speaker 1: Remember when Beyonce said in interviews that she was disgusted
Speaker 1: by kissing Brittany and Christina. Just to remind me that
Speaker 1: that Beyonce was at one time like human tacitly homophobe.
Speaker 1: She's homophobic, kills animals to make clothes. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think it's funny and it's like a great performer,
Speaker 1: world's best, world's best, Well that's thrially And now that
Speaker 1: we're talking about performance, I feel this is a good
Speaker 1: opportunity for us to see a performance. Queen of the Bitch.
Speaker 1: Um tell us a little bit about this tune we're
Speaker 1: gonna hear, or would you rather not just do it? No,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you. This tune is about erasure of um
Speaker 1: skinny people people. Okay, a celebration of chubbs. Great. That great?
Speaker 1: Can we play the first song? Yeah? Can you turn it? Okay?
Speaker 1: So this song goes out to all the chunktas in
Speaker 1: the house, whether you're like a chunketa or a chunk eta. Okay.
Speaker 1: So it's about eating ass as well. That's what I
Speaker 1: should have got it. You know who I am, Chunky
Speaker 1: fun a skinny man. Let me feat you. You know
Speaker 1: who I am, chunky chuck kee da who you're shaking
Speaker 1: in your boots jaw capin, don't know what to do? Bitch?
Speaker 1: Yes I'm fine, and yes I know it, and yes
Speaker 1: I grabed your tick where you think you're going? I
Speaker 1: see you falling in us after all of me shaping
Speaker 1: my gut feet wide thirteen, my weight a plus plus
Speaker 1: size of must try something you bust with my robust,
Speaker 1: thrusting eight fifty thicker thick thickets. I'm big. You can't
Speaker 1: miss me. Every inch beautiful my flute fully to the
Speaker 1: bull plug like a pastry. Oh boy, tasty, really want
Speaker 1: to date me? Let's do it? Asked to face see
Speaker 1: falling line, lots of attraction, boy, buy if you ain't
Speaker 1: about that booty action you know chunky, du fucking skinny man,
Speaker 1: let me feature you know who I all chunkey da
Speaker 1: excuse me, dude. I don't mean to be rude, but
Speaker 1: sell you just my type So I'm gonna need you
Speaker 1: to move you it and then the wrong spot boy
Speaker 1: that you forgot that bump alongs on my face dinner time?
Speaker 1: Say great? Oh you know I'm nasty inquisitive. Ask you
Speaker 1: where that ass bead? I'm a chunky. Don't you thinking
Speaker 1: the but you know what? I want to meet you?
Speaker 1: Then eat your skeet when I beat your meat, don't
Speaker 1: cheat the fleet? What's your flavor? Sweet? Are you triggered?
Speaker 1: Tweet about it? So faking? Did you ever doubt it?
Speaker 1: Sugar around my tits, chrise my sweat. I'm what you
Speaker 1: dream about and we haven't yet met. Are you listening
Speaker 1: to the song that I sung? I need one thing?
Speaker 1: You're hold on my time? Okay, wow, thank you? Okay,
Speaker 1: we can cut them. Wow. Wow, So you love eating asks?
Speaker 1: Talk about that? Um, talk about that. It's fun. Do
Speaker 1: you not like eating us? You're like getting your ass eaten? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you're all about the butt. So I'm sorry you
Speaker 1: guys like a crazy smile the booty hole. I love
Speaker 1: eating us. Okay, So is that something did you like?
Speaker 1: We have you always loved? This was a journey for you?
Speaker 1: Sure it was a journey. I think like as a
Speaker 1: young person when you realize what gay sex between two
Speaker 1: men is, there's like a little part of you that
Speaker 1: you're like, I couldn't I couldn't believe it. And then
Speaker 1: I realized what what I had to do. I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, well that's crazy. And then someone is like,
Speaker 1: well do you know about douching? And you're like why,
Speaker 1: which now you're not supposed to do well, you're not
Speaker 1: supposed to do it too much, but just you can't
Speaker 1: do a fleet at before every No. We have a
Speaker 1: friend who is currently getting rerailed on the regular and
Speaker 1: hat me, I don't know who you're talking about anyway,
Speaker 1: he is like but chugging enemas, Like he's just like
Speaker 1: constantly using enemas. And I said blank. You can't keep
Speaker 1: doing that. You're gonna hurt yourself, Like, call me by
Speaker 1: my name. What is it? Um? Yeah, I've heard mixed
Speaker 1: reviews on that. I've heard people say like, oh, you
Speaker 1: shouldn't do that at them all, and then I've heard
Speaker 1: other people be like, it's just water, it's fine. Everything
Speaker 1: in moderation, everything in moderation. But I do, I do
Speaker 1: have a friend who likes to get fisted, and um,
Speaker 1: he is. He is someone that I have known for
Speaker 1: a while since I was young, like always of age,
Speaker 1: but like in my early twenties, and I had a
Speaker 1: crush on him for a while. And then now he's
Speaker 1: moved out here and he messaged me recently, was like hey.
Speaker 1: I was like hey, and he was like do you
Speaker 1: like fisting? And I was like like out of the blue,
Speaker 1: and now I know two, No, I'm out. I can't.
Speaker 1: That's too much for me. And we're not shaming king, No,
Speaker 1: but that's stay that's bad. So what's insane is that
Speaker 1: there is literally nothing romantic about it. I've I've never
Speaker 1: kissed him, Like, I will walk, I don't take off
Speaker 1: my club, I'll just roll up my sleep. It's truly,
Speaker 1: I'm out. I'm yeah, you guys, go ahead and be
Speaker 1: like sisters about this. The fuck Amanda, No not us, bitch, Sharon,
Speaker 1: I don't know. You're a freak. Sharon, will fucking go
Speaker 1: there and lollipop bitch is up to her elbow. She's
Speaker 1: a crazy she's it's through the culture number in ninety
Speaker 1: one your elbow. I just also really interested in like
Speaker 1: this like delicate double tap becoming like like a visual
Speaker 1: sign for someone like hey, no on and off night,
Speaker 1: you know, no, no, but yeah, he just he's just like,
Speaker 1: your arms are so big, they are big. He likes that.
Speaker 1: I was. I was literally doing I don't know if
Speaker 1: people saw I was doing this earlier. I was like
Speaker 1: doing like to who like no to just someone told
Speaker 1: me that this so they're releasing an emoji that's the hand,
Speaker 1: but it's doing this like a like an Italian like
Speaker 1: that's what they're calling like a chef's kiss or something.
Speaker 1: And then but someone someone tweeted that this is actually
Speaker 1: proper technique for fisting. Is that you cone and then
Speaker 1: you bawl. Not the way you're doing How do you
Speaker 1: do it? Well? It has to be more straightforward, guy,
Speaker 1: because no, no, no show us your hands, Matt, You've
Speaker 1: got big hands. So what my hands are for? Like
Speaker 1: my hands are for like reading and writing? Like someone
Speaker 1: who does not read, I do so read. I have
Speaker 1: read upwards of eleven books. Let's let's the books now.
Speaker 1: We needn't updated less the seven, Harry Potter's Robolos autobiography,
Speaker 1: my favorite book, Bossy Pants, Lena Donald's book in Cold Blood?
Speaker 1: Did I already say that in Cold Blood seven Harry Potters,
Speaker 1: you listen, of course parts of the Bible. Yeah, um, okay, cool,
Speaker 1: So we're going to float away from that conversation. Wait, okay,
Speaker 1: do you want to talk about this? So, I mean, clearly,
Speaker 1: how did we I brought that up just fully on
Speaker 1: my own, Well, I asked about eating assid all of
Speaker 1: a sudden we were literally shoulder deep in butt hole. So, um,
Speaker 1: that right, that's what that's called. I do want to
Speaker 1: talk about this clearly, A season performer live, Um, you're
Speaker 1: you're like you're like a staple on the pride circuit.
Speaker 1: So you're going town to town for all of their
Speaker 1: respective prides. We I mean, like whatever, we just started
Speaker 1: to like quote unquote tour and it's it truly is
Speaker 1: exhausting and like I don't know how and like we
Speaker 1: but we do them in little legs and like they're
Speaker 1: they're like weeks apart. So it feels manageable. But for
Speaker 1: something for like I imagine you have to like chunk
Speaker 1: out months of your life in order to do this. Well, no,
Speaker 1: it's it's more of just like like people are like, oh,
Speaker 1: are you at on tour? And I'm like, my life
Speaker 1: is a perma tour because I don't like I don't
Speaker 1: have a record label, I don't have an agent, I
Speaker 1: don't have management, I don't have a book, like, I
Speaker 1: do it all myself. And so often what happens is
Speaker 1: someone's like, oh, can you come to New Orleans? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, great, who do I know in Atlanta? You know?
Speaker 1: And I start to like build a thing. So it's
Speaker 1: this like constant rollodex where I'm like, you know, like hey, Dave,
Speaker 1: like you have a club in you know, Charlotte, North Carolina.
Speaker 1: Like so I have this like I'm constantly sort of
Speaker 1: just juggling it around. And so to me, what the
Speaker 1: most exhausting part is every time I'm in a new city,
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, yeah, I remember you from a year ago,
Speaker 1: let's go out to you know, and I like all
Speaker 1: these people. But there's a difference between just like doing
Speaker 1: your calendar and being like, oh, these are my travel
Speaker 1: details and this is what I do. So the more
Speaker 1: exhausting part is like the logistics of it, but performing
Speaker 1: is like it's so sick. The the the the amount
Speaker 1: of places and scenarios that I've performed in. It's like, truly,
Speaker 1: I flew to Stockholm for thirty six hours and they
Speaker 1: like flew me out and paid me and got me
Speaker 1: a visa and did everything. I performed on a bench
Speaker 1: in a basement with a cell phone light on me
Speaker 1: for twenty people. I love that. And I was like,
Speaker 1: this is the gig and he was like yeah, we're
Speaker 1: so excited to have you. Like, thank you. Did you
Speaker 1: get to see the city Stockholm? Okay, so this is
Speaker 1: like such a shameful Yeah we did. We did more
Speaker 1: shameful than what we've done. You don't need a shame.
Speaker 1: Maybe we're not here that I'm kid. I'll show you
Speaker 1: a while the amount of power you feel when you're
Speaker 1: that far inside of a human body. You feel, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't help him. No, I'm just encouraging you
Speaker 1: to do it if you find a willing participant. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I have something, just something to look
Speaker 1: scares of course to think about that. That's fine because
Speaker 1: it's we don't need to talk about you, right, we don't.
Speaker 1: I'm just sorry about what holes getting like ruined beyond repair?
Speaker 1: Do they snap back to what they were after? That's
Speaker 1: up to the owner of the butthole? How is it
Speaker 1: up to them exercise maintenance? So Stockholm gorgeous city. Did
Speaker 1: you go to the Museum of Pop Music? Um? No,
Speaker 1: but I saw it. That's such a dumb thing to say.
Speaker 1: What the shameful thing was that it was clear? So
Speaker 1: this is this is also a thing that happens a
Speaker 1: lot of my music and my videos and like my
Speaker 1: Instagram content is like really sexual. And so there are
Speaker 1: sometimes and why I mean, like I've performed in every scenario.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm booked by a person who sees that and goes,
Speaker 1: I want to bring you here. And I own a club,
Speaker 1: so I have a budget in which I can say, oh,
Speaker 1: I have a stage and I can bring you here,
Speaker 1: and blah blah blah. So it gets sometimes it gets complicated,
Speaker 1: especially because when they reach out, they're not going through
Speaker 1: a management company that it's like me on the phone.
Speaker 1: So the guy in Stockholm, I think, and then was
Speaker 1: uh later confirmed by a friend of his he had
Speaker 1: a crush on me, and so he was just like
Speaker 1: debilitating lee nervous the whole time, and then took me
Speaker 1: around on like a ten hour tourism day and never
Speaker 1: did he ever get more comfortable or wasn't like no,
Speaker 1: and he was so uncomfortable. It made me so uncomfortable
Speaker 1: that like at a certain point I just stopped talking.
Speaker 1: And so there was like a six hour period where
Speaker 1: we like took a ferry across a bay to another town,
Speaker 1: eight lunch, walked around, took the ferry back, truly didn't
Speaker 1: talk the whole time, and I was like, I'm alone
Speaker 1: in Stockholm. My cell phone doesn't work like like now,
Speaker 1: I like turned my phone on and like find friend
Speaker 1: and I go like I'm good, like I'll just handle myself.
Speaker 1: But I agree. He was like let me take you around.
Speaker 1: I was like sure, and I tried for a while,
Speaker 1: but he just got he was like so nervous, and
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I guess I won't say anything.
Speaker 1: What are you like in those situations like when someone
Speaker 1: is being when when someone's go to is like to
Speaker 1: be quiet and nervous. Do you do more? I do
Speaker 1: the most? You? Um, yeah, I tend to do the most.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, I'm I'm dripping sweat already, so like
Speaker 1: I'll give you like five minutes of the most and
Speaker 1: then I'm like, you gotta exactly. So that's why I like,
Speaker 1: I gave up. But it feels shameful. Why why is
Speaker 1: that shameful though? To be like he brought me to
Speaker 1: Europe and I was just quiet? Are you ashamed in
Speaker 1: that scenario or no? But it's like an like, oh,
Speaker 1: what if I had an awesome time in Stockholm? There's
Speaker 1: a lot to do there, like the Museum of I
Speaker 1: saw it. Yeah it's mostly which is like okay, but
Speaker 1: it but there, you know, it's like four songs like
Speaker 1: they're obsessed with Abba. The whole nation is obsessed with
Speaker 1: Abba and the fighting words. There are people in the
Speaker 1: audience who are mad. Two movies made, one in which
Speaker 1: it wasn't entirely a retreat of the first movie. They
Speaker 1: used the same songs retreat, What what the fund is
Speaker 1: your name? That's My boss? That's my future boss. What
Speaker 1: did you say, I didn't hear. Wait, did we mean outside? Yeah,
Speaker 1: she said Demie Levado And that's that's our joking game show.
Speaker 1: We say that the gay Aloha Lovado the way to
Speaker 1: say hello and goodbye. That's incredible. Um well I disagree, um,
Speaker 1: but but I did like Mamma Mia too, I have.
Speaker 1: So we saw Mama MEA two and okay, so he
Speaker 1: didn't know that Meryl spoiler alert, Meryl's dead and not
Speaker 1: in the movie. So we sat down and we were
Speaker 1: so high she's in the movie, and she's in the
Speaker 1: movie at the end, but it becomes very clear, like
Speaker 1: fully so like it becomes clear like five minutes in
Speaker 1: that she's fully dead and will not begin the like
Speaker 1: like talking about the specter of Meryl being gone. And
Speaker 1: then I turned to Matt and I go, wait, Meryl
Speaker 1: is not in this movie. I was like, no, she's dead.
Speaker 1: And then he's like, so, then what the funk are
Speaker 1: we here for? And then I was like share in
Speaker 1: like an hour and a half, and so we sat
Speaker 1: there and like sat to the whole movie, But who's
Speaker 1: the queen that's like, yeah, I like her? Share sort
Speaker 1: of like a teen angel moment in Mama mea Too. No,
Speaker 1: it's not like it doesn't happen in a dreams. It
Speaker 1: happens in really happens in on the same level of reality.
Speaker 1: But it's truly I mean, the Share thing is all
Speaker 1: once Share shows up, it's all worse. She nails it,
Speaker 1: she nails, and Christine Baranski is fail fully nailing it
Speaker 1: the whole time. She's she's like acting with her whole
Speaker 1: body and every scene she's in the background, and God
Speaker 1: and the casting of young Christine Baranski best casting every Yeah,
Speaker 1: so good about a film in Christine Baranski's um, what
Speaker 1: is it? What is it? Marcy X, do you know this?
Speaker 1: Oh my god a Lisa Coudrow, Lisa Coudro and Damon
Speaker 1: Wayne's yeah, yeah, she she runs like a rap label.
Speaker 1: Well no, she's like a conservative senator. Christine Baranski is
Speaker 1: railing against the rap label. I got a bootleg copy
Speaker 1: of that film in New York when I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, seventeen, on my first trip to New York.
Speaker 1: That is also an answer to your question for you,
Speaker 1: where where did you grow up with chic Well in Evanston.
Speaker 1: Technically people who grew up in Chicago would hate if
Speaker 1: I said yea and from the Illinois called Evanston, Illinois. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when you hear Evanston, Illinois, what do you think being
Speaker 1: girls know? What where else is Evanston ever mentioned? Bowen
Speaker 1: and I are Story Pirates, a children's theater company, and
Speaker 1: we take stories written by kids and act them out.
Speaker 1: And what the most famous story is called the Day
Speaker 1: my Head got stuck in a bar stool um and
Speaker 1: the kid that wrote it was from Evanston, Illinois. At
Speaker 1: Northwestern is a thing called Griffinston that started that. See,
Speaker 1: I have this weird relationship with Northwestern because I applied
Speaker 1: did not get in. I think it was because of
Speaker 1: this question on the essay that was like who do
Speaker 1: you want your who would you your famous? Like if
Speaker 1: you had famous parents, who would they be because you
Speaker 1: would want their characteristics? And I said Beyonce. And I
Speaker 1: think it was too soon for that to be an
Speaker 1: appropriate answer, because exactly it was like early two thousand's
Speaker 1: and I was like Beyonce and they were like your trash.
Speaker 1: Now if you want to Beyonce, they were like your humanitarian.
Speaker 1: So I didn't go there, but I actually taught at
Speaker 1: a theater program there for like six years called the
Speaker 1: National High School UM Theater Institute. You're an educator, I was,
Speaker 1: yeah for a while, and then I got fired when
Speaker 1: I started rapping. I guess they heard your lyrics about
Speaker 1: fisting to the shoulders. Yeah, exactly, and they said, this
Speaker 1: gentleman can't be forming young minds. They were like, your
Speaker 1: high risk for two new parental calls. Fuck. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: I got fired from all my teaching jobs. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: you know. They say that like like a lot of
Speaker 1: like like people in the entertainment industry, if they don't
Speaker 1: if they don't succeed, like they go be teachers. I
Speaker 1: feel like I couldn't be a teacher now, I'm a
Speaker 1: high risk for pres I just feel like you would
Speaker 1: make up new names for everyone in the class. Would
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, I like girl, so quean, I'd be
Speaker 1: I'd be a bad teacher. No, I think you'd be
Speaker 1: a wonderful teacher. You would be so like encouraging. I
Speaker 1: would be I'd get petty. I'd like, I'd get fucking
Speaker 1: petty and aggressive yeah yeah, with the kids, or just
Speaker 1: be like, God, you guys are dumb, Like yeah, I
Speaker 1: would just like not put up with any of Like,
Speaker 1: if they're not at my level, then I don't want
Speaker 1: to talk to about You're not tolerant to people that
Speaker 1: aren't on your levels. It's true. But when Yang famously
Speaker 1: says about dating, if I'm spending time with you, that's
Speaker 1: a big fucking it is. It is though. I I
Speaker 1: am fully behind him saying that whatever. I think every
Speaker 1: I think everyone should be that confident when they're dating
Speaker 1: someone truly like And this is the lesson that I
Speaker 1: learned to this guy like go Off. I had to
Speaker 1: I had to just be like, oh no, like, we're
Speaker 1: all on each other's level here. It's fine. Like everyone's
Speaker 1: like in the same everyone has the same ship, and
Speaker 1: everyone should just like every everything it's already been flattened anyway.
Speaker 1: Desire has been flattened. Attraction has been flattened. Can you
Speaker 1: explain that? Okay, Unpack, you'd be a terrible teacher. None
Speaker 1: of the students can can understand what you're saying. I
Speaker 1: want to know about. Desire has been flat. Desire has
Speaker 1: been flattened. Like we'll be a best in two minutes.
Speaker 1: Everyone everyone has this is here's what's going on right
Speaker 1: now in the world. Okay, everyone has Amanda Lolli, alexis
Speaker 1: um queen, so we um here's we're walking around. All
Speaker 1: of us are for you. I got it, I got
Speaker 1: I got it. We're all walking around And this is
Speaker 1: irrespective of whether or not you have a fallast. We're
Speaker 1: all walking around with giant boners all the time. Why
Speaker 1: because we open up our phones and we see people
Speaker 1: we want to fuck on it, and and desires flattened.
Speaker 1: And so now it's like now when I have Now,
Speaker 1: when I have sex with people, I'm like, the this
Speaker 1: is truly a wash. This is like I could be
Speaker 1: sitting at home and this I would get this, I
Speaker 1: would derive at the same pleasure. Why because desire has
Speaker 1: been flattened. So you're saying you're saying that we sexually
Speaker 1: as a culture have been dumbed down by social media
Speaker 1: and mainstream media. Truly, it's not even a gender thing
Speaker 1: in where it's like, oh, men think about sex every
Speaker 1: second seven seconds. It's everyone thinks about sex, and it's
Speaker 1: just like it's just what it is, and like I
Speaker 1: don't know, like whatever, whatever sad really the world. We
Speaker 1: just need to throw our phones away and I'll walk
Speaker 1: around with UGO cards with the ugo cards, and if
Speaker 1: I were to be fisted to the shoulder like I
Speaker 1: wouldn't care. I'd be like, yeah, this feels normal. At
Speaker 1: least I'm feeling something, something desire has been flattened. Now
Speaker 1: there you Okay, So on that note, I think we
Speaker 1: go into another song. I think for another tune. So
Speaker 1: tell us about this. This next song, this song I
Speaker 1: wrote years ago, is one of the first songs I wrote.
Speaker 1: But it holds up. Um. It's a celebratory song about
Speaker 1: just things that I like, or in general, things that
Speaker 1: anyone likes. It's a celebratory song about things that you like. Great, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wonder if he's back there. Can you play Isaac?
Speaker 1: Can you turn it up? Yes? Okay. This song goes
Speaker 1: out to all the things that are cute. That's cute
Speaker 1: to me, that's cute to me, that's cute, that's cute,
Speaker 1: that's cute to me. That's cute to me, that's cute
Speaker 1: to me, that's cute, that's cute. That's cute to me.
Speaker 1: When you hold my hands, that's cute to me. The
Speaker 1: hot dog stands so cute to me. Look me in
Speaker 1: the eye, when you touch the stars, Dick ride all night.
Speaker 1: That's cute to me because you'rege the best when it
Speaker 1: comes to sex, love, the gentle touch, love to carress,
Speaker 1: fun funck me good. Yeah, it's playing the seat. The
Speaker 1: way you make me feel, it's so cute to me.
Speaker 1: It's shute, so cute. See you t eat me. That's
Speaker 1: cute to me. That's cute to me. That's cute to me.
Speaker 1: That's cute. That's cute. That's cute to me. That's cute
Speaker 1: to me. That's cute to me. That's cute. That's cute.
Speaker 1: That's cute to me. When you're buying me things, that's
Speaker 1: cute to me. Side the onion ring so cute to me.
Speaker 1: It's fine. The face supposed me in the place that
Speaker 1: makes me want to date yourself cute to me. Our
Speaker 1: chemistry zone bete debu dis cute syndromes untreatable because I'm
Speaker 1: obsessed with your packs and chests. You wanna titty funk
Speaker 1: that's cute to Me's goute so cute. See you t me.
Speaker 1: That's cute to me. That's cute to me. That's cute
Speaker 1: to me. That's cute. That's cute. That's cute to me.
Speaker 1: That's cute to me. That's cute to me. That's cute.
Speaker 1: That's cute. That's cute to me. Oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is like the cutest intimate audience of a live podcast
Speaker 1: recording ever. Thank you all right? That was cute to me.
Speaker 1: I think I was checking to see if you were
Speaker 1: done with a lollipop or if you were like fully
Speaker 1: savoring it. We're done? Was it like a fudge cycle?
Speaker 1: That was a chocolate lollipops? Disgusting? I just I just
Speaker 1: don't understand. Want to Chalcoli. So here's the deal. Um,
Speaker 1: it is time to do our segment cold. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. So this is our one minute segment
Speaker 1: that we take to rail against culture. We are for.
Speaker 1: This is for the people listening. Currently on tour, we
Speaker 1: will be in Texas, Austin, Dallas, and Houston, birthplace of
Speaker 1: Beyonce Knows, problematic cultural figure and a right performer. Um
Speaker 1: in April. So, um, I what do you I think?
Speaker 1: Should I go first? Yeah? Whatever you want, I'll go
Speaker 1: first because I'm fired off about something. Oh he is
Speaker 1: the decision that we're going to stand galvanized Queen is
Speaker 1: Matt Rodgers. I don't think so. Many as time starts now,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey that when I rolled up
Speaker 1: to the gig tonight, Bowen Yang was smoking a cigarette
Speaker 1: outside because he told me as recently as yesterday that
Speaker 1: he was done with cigarettes, that he had slipped back
Speaker 1: into them, but now was done. And I pull up
Speaker 1: in a fucking lift and the lift was not chatty.
Speaker 1: So I was in a good mood. Immediately, my mood
Speaker 1: was deflated because I see my best friend fucking killing himself.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Here's the thing about cigarettes.
Speaker 1: They're full of carcinogens. Honey, they're not good for you.
Speaker 1: Do you smoke cigarettes, sir? That's good. You're gonna live
Speaker 1: longer than this stupid bitch bow and Yang. And what
Speaker 1: happens when bo and Yang dies? My career fucking destroyed.
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna fucking funk with this. After he goes outside
Speaker 1: of professional aspirations. I'd like him to stay in my life. Personally,
Speaker 1: I enjoy him very much. He's the love of my life.
Speaker 1: I need him around, and so when he smokes cigarettes
Speaker 1: and fills his lungs with bad black smoke, I am
Speaker 1: very personally offended. And then when I come to him.
Speaker 1: He tried to be cute with me and make a
Speaker 1: joke and I was like, no, I don't like it.
Speaker 1: And I'm telling you right now that I don't like it,
Speaker 1: and I don't think so, honey, and you deserve to
Speaker 1: be publicly humiliated. You shouldn't smoke cigarettes. And if and
Speaker 1: he smokes cigarettes, fucking that's one man. At it's not
Speaker 1: just you you're hurting. It's not just you you're hurting.
Speaker 1: I'm serious. This is not a comedy show. This is
Speaker 1: for real. I think no, I think this is good.
Speaker 1: This is a charting point. You should fucking stop. And
Speaker 1: then I said put that out right now and he
Speaker 1: said no, let me have it. And I was like,
Speaker 1: that's so fucking dumb. Yeah, I don't smoke cigrette. How
Speaker 1: long have you? For years? He's gonna lie? No, I was,
Speaker 1: I was gonna be very honest about it. Um for
Speaker 1: a couple of years. I started this job at this office,
Speaker 1: and it was culturally it was the thing to do,
Speaker 1: and you just would go out and have a smoke break.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'll do it. And then you
Speaker 1: were an adult when you started. I's been doing so
Speaker 1: good too. And now he's got a stressful new job.
Speaker 1: I used to smoke a lot and then I when
Speaker 1: I quit, it was a wild It was a wild. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I used to smoke like a pack of day, like crazy. Wow.
Speaker 1: Is anyone here's struggling with cigarette addiction? Anyone? We've all
Speaker 1: we've all gotten them. But who vapes really high smoke?
Speaker 1: So there's this that's neither here nor there. There's this
Speaker 1: book that there's this book like to how to quit
Speaker 1: like it's called how to Quit Smoking or something where
Speaker 1: apparently it's some amazing it's this amazing, but that everyone's
Speaker 1: reading right now. For smokers are reading right now, and
Speaker 1: you can only quit on your first read through of
Speaker 1: the book. Otherwise than it won't work anymore, because if
Speaker 1: you fall off the wagon and start smoking again, then
Speaker 1: it will not work. Okay, so you're reading the book
Speaker 1: right now? Yeah, No, I gotta wait for the right time.
Speaker 1: Now is the right time? This is? Um? Can I
Speaker 1: just say when I quit smoking, I used I used
Speaker 1: to smoke in my car all the time. I used
Speaker 1: to fake smoke in my car. What does that mean?
Speaker 1: I would just hold up two fingers and inhale and
Speaker 1: hould out the window and drive around. It lives my
Speaker 1: fucking life like a lunatic. Yeah, and it was so
Speaker 1: helpful yetation it's like people do toothpicks because it's the
Speaker 1: open station and they just want to simulate that doing
Speaker 1: this doesn't look as dumb as actually smoking cigarettes, right
Speaker 1: of course, So that's like ad campaign and what is
Speaker 1: fake smoking? Yeah? Yeah, I'm really serious about it anyway,
Speaker 1: So go perform now, Um, this is I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey at his time starts now, I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey. Hotel many fridges to hear me out. You're
Speaker 1: a goddamn teasy hearing me. There's a game show I
Speaker 1: play every time I go to a hotel. It's is
Speaker 1: this water bottle free? Um? And it's really hit or miss.
Speaker 1: I feel like I should veer off into something personal
Speaker 1: about Matt right now because he distragged me. No, I
Speaker 1: haven't done anything to deserve it. Yes you have, Matt.
Speaker 1: You have not checked in with me like I have,
Speaker 1: Like like I feel like I really feel so distant
Speaker 1: from you, and I really tried to resist this for
Speaker 1: a long time. Matt just got this new job and
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for him. But there's the symmetry happening,
Speaker 1: where like like we we were out of sync in
Speaker 1: our lives and I got something and I felt like
Speaker 1: he was like ten seconds folks in the road, and
Speaker 1: now I feel a little left behind. Are you talking
Speaker 1: about you have eight thousand times more money than they
Speaker 1: really want? I really just want You're done. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: it hurts your feelings that I just did that, but
Speaker 1: you can't. We haven't. We haven't checked in. We have
Speaker 1: checked in before the show, but so briefly, we're gonna
Speaker 1: spend the evening together. We're gonna go do karaoke with Olivia,
Speaker 1: who's gone by the way anyway, Well, you know what,
Speaker 1: you know what, you know, what's happening? What is I'm
Speaker 1: watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy, and I watched the
Speaker 1: episode where Christina leaves. Why don't you do that to yours?
Speaker 1: Because because because I miss you too, I miss you.
Speaker 1: It's fine. This is so fucking gay. It's actually not
Speaker 1: it's actually not gay to be two gay men who
Speaker 1: are platonic. That's actually very anti queer. That's that's that's
Speaker 1: what that is. Okay, Okay, So mine could be you
Speaker 1: ignoring me. Yeah, I'm just kidding, no, okay, which comes
Speaker 1: to shove dip, it's me and him if the zombie,
Speaker 1: If the zombies come in, it's us. We leave you behind.
Speaker 1: For sure, we die first. Absolutely anyway by Lima. It's
Speaker 1: an amazing post apocalypse tick a book about millennial culture.
Speaker 1: It's sorry that I thought that that I was that
Speaker 1: that was a bit and then so this is a
Speaker 1: I do and his time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Emotional manipulation. Um, this is a new experience for me.
Speaker 1: But I feel like when you say something like I
Speaker 1: feel this way and a person looks at you and says, no,
Speaker 1: you don't that there's something fucked up about that. I
Speaker 1: don't think so. Uh, not listening and not hearing you
Speaker 1: when you talk the words out of your mouth that
Speaker 1: are the things that you actually mean. I also don't
Speaker 1: think so when you've taken the time to write them
Speaker 1: down and I'll proof read them so that you know
Speaker 1: what you mean, and the person is still going, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure that you really think that way. Five seconds.
Speaker 1: I'm just really raw right now. Seconds I literally up.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Breakups And that's one minute.
Speaker 1: That's one minute, I agree with you. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: breakups either, they are so hard. And can I say
Speaker 1: as a real thing, I'm so sorry. I've been thinking
Speaker 1: about mine a lot recently and it's like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Which one? That was gorgeous? So we have approximately seven
Speaker 1: minutes left and I would like to um open the floor?
Speaker 1: Does anyone um does this? Before we do that? Can
Speaker 1: I just say I love your show and thank you
Speaker 1: for having me on. And I it's like, I you
Speaker 1: know people people always post that beame of like the
Speaker 1: girl eating next to a poster that's like me, when
Speaker 1: it's like fully that, So this is like a very
Speaker 1: meta dream come true for me to be. So I'm
Speaker 1: just love you. I love you guys, and I'm happy
Speaker 1: that you're going to be around more and we can
Speaker 1: actually hang out, right, Yeah, something to look forward to.
Speaker 1: What no, no, no, no no? So um sorry you
Speaker 1: want to do this? And I just want to know
Speaker 1: if anyone wants to ask a question to bow and
Speaker 1: Younger a big tapper, but I am moderating this question.
Speaker 1: You could walk yeah, um, so what's your name? Jen? Hi? Jen?
Speaker 1: What's up? What does it feel like in there? Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh God, I'll keep it. I'll keep it brief, warm, tight,
Speaker 1: or lose, depending and and it depends on the prep
Speaker 1: work that prep, but mostly it feels like an empty cavity.
Speaker 1: There you go, satisfied, Jen, Yeah, feeling good. Hi? Who
Speaker 1: are you? I'm nick? No, you can't feel you have
Speaker 1: a great shirt. You're going in a colon? What's on
Speaker 1: the shirt? I'll paca also giraffes, various long necked ma. Wow,
Speaker 1: I wish I was a How you doing and what's up?
Speaker 1: I'm doing very well? Will you outline for us verbally
Speaker 1: the dynamic movements of the Matt Rogers walk. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1: For people who don't know, there's a Matt Rodgers Walk challenge.
Speaker 1: So you just have to like envision yourself like like
Speaker 1: Beyonce and like now like more like Ali Larder and
Speaker 1: obsessed honestly, and you just kind of take a few
Speaker 1: steps that like don't go any where and make sure
Speaker 1: that you like you trip over your feet a little bit,
Speaker 1: and then you just kind of like beck in and
Speaker 1: then you kind of like spin and like notice your
Speaker 1: surroundings and like sort of play with them, and then
Speaker 1: like sort of just sort of stop and then go
Speaker 1: like this again in another direction and you are going nowhere.
Speaker 1: It's important to have no directions. Then you do a
Speaker 1: little bit of that and have someone film you because
Speaker 1: you crave attention. Great, So that's that's that. Anyone else,
Speaker 1: anyone else? The floor is open. We're done. We're done.
Speaker 1: Wow Um. First of all, everyone give it up for
Speaker 1: Big Dipper one more time. Thank you. We love the
Speaker 1: dep We loved to death. This was really fun. We've
Speaker 1: never we've never done like a live pod episode. We've
Speaker 1: done I don't think so, honey, but we've never done
Speaker 1: a live episode like this, and it was really fun,
Speaker 1: so so so great, So thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1: Thanks to the lyric hyperion Um stay hid to us
Speaker 1: after the show. Well, the end we do. We do
Speaker 1: end with the song. We do end with the song.
Speaker 1: Here we go? How do I get through not without you?
Speaker 1: If I had to live it? To laugh? Would that
Speaker 1: be ho? I'm need you in my off Ho if
Speaker 1: you have fa babywe really my lave. We'll do one
Speaker 1: chorus to me. Now, how do I live? It's a
Speaker 1: bed clap out you. I want to know? How do
Speaker 1: I breathe without you? If you ever go? How do
Speaker 1: I ever, ever, how do I how do I how
Speaker 1: do make some fucking noise for bag? Bye? Thank you.
Speaker 1: This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by
Speaker 1: Brett Ballum, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,
Speaker 1: please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to
Speaker 1: our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get
Speaker 1: your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news
Speaker 1: by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team,
Speaker 1: and liking Outage on Facebook m