WEBVTT - Thursday Therapy: Millennials on the Buddy List 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.400 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:09.400 This week's Thursday Therapy. We're going to take a different 0:00:09.440 --> 0:00:11.480 spin on it and we're going to talk all about 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:14.720 millennial with Kate Kennedy. So she actually got started, she 0:00:14.720 --> 0:00:17.040 actually got to quit her job because she made this 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:22.720 famous doormat, and then she then quit her job. Now 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:25.440 is writing books, has podcasts all about pop culture and 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:30.200 millennial things. So considering, wait, are we have a millennial? 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:31.240 What? Oreay? 0:00:31.360 --> 0:00:34.280 I actually need to know? That was one of my questions. No, 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:36.560 I think we're we're supposed to be, but I don't 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:39.919 count as a what nineteen eighty three is a what? 0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:42.959 Oh we had no more millennials? So it says, yeah, 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:46.320 what's the cutoff? Ninety six? Friend, Yeah, we're goa nineteen 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:49.080 eighty one, eighty two, but just into eighty two. I 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:52.080 don't feel like I am a millennial. Oh friend, you are. 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:55.280 If you dance to Usher on Super Bowl, you're a millennial. 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:59.560 Let's get Kate on. Okay, So take us back because 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:02.800 when I was your bio, I was like, wait, what what? 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:08.080 You started selling doormats at sea and you were doing 0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:08.560 what job? 0:01:08.640 --> 0:01:11.160 Then I worked in like corporate market research and like 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:16.199 TV ratings and stuff and with like marketing effectness for advertisers. 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:18.240 It's a lot of buzzwords. But I, like a lot 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:21.080 of millennials, wanted to monetize my hobbies, you know, follow 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:25.000 my dream my dumb dreams, And I started a doormat 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:27.640 company when I was nervous about like burning down my apartment. 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:29.440 You know that episode of Friends or a Phoebe where 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:31.840 Rachel burns down BB's apartment with a straight or a 0:01:31.840 --> 0:01:34.640 hair straightener. So I started putting turn off your curling 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:36.920 iron and turn off your straighter on doormat. So it's 0:01:36.920 --> 0:01:38.440 like a welcome map, but instead it reminds you of 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:40.480 stuff on your way out. And called you a remind doormat. 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:43.440 And they kind of took off for like forgetful people 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:46.399 like me, And so, yeah, I left my job and 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:50.120 I've kind of been swinging from vines of self employment 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:50.640 ever since. 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:53.280 You just I mean, at first of all, I love 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:56.639 that because you're trying to almost like you're inventing yourself 0:01:56.680 --> 0:02:00.360 as you go. That's at least what I'm trying to do. Good. 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:02.920 I feel like I'm talking to a soulmate when I 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:04.680 read your bio. First of all, I'm a huge fan 0:02:04.720 --> 0:02:07.960 of alliteration, So Kate Kennedy really hits me, feels real 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:12.040 good to me. But for the dummies over here, alliteration 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:17.040 is what like the same letter like Roman Russell, exactly 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:19.799 like Roman Russell. So that's called hush fan alliteration. I 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:25.280 love Lily Lionne Lockhart, legend wild. 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:28.880 He's the middle. That's her good. 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:31.280 Anyways, it was funny because I was like reading your 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:34.119 bio and I'm like, I actually feel like you're my soulmate. 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:37.440 Like it's this like jack of all trades, like just 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:40.320 kind of going with the flow, seeing where it takes you. 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:43.040 And I like that about you. How old are you? 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:48.120 I'm thirty six. Hey, so you're younger on the millennial side. 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:49.440 Then no, wait, you're not. 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:53.120 I'm like the exact median, So it's eighty. 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:55.840 It's like eight right here, I've got eighty one to 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:59.000 ninety six, Techne ninety six. Yeah, a gen Z is 0:02:59.400 --> 0:03:03.880 ninety seven to twenty twelve. But I feel like that's 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:09.880 the millennial way we create. We create, we curate, we do, 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:15.280 and we pave yeah and then we just figure it out. Yeah, 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:17.960 and we like they linked along the way. 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:19.440 Absolutely. 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:22.520 I think what's so cool about millennials is like we 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:25.440 were the first to you know create and thus to 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:27.880 define what it meant to like have an online PERSONAA. 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:30.680 Like we came of age during the Information Age, the 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:34.000 most seismic, you know, technological shift of the twentieth century, 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:36.120 the Internet, so like we built our dreams in a 0:03:36.120 --> 0:03:38.480 world that no longer exists. So I think there's some 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:41.120 people that like really rooted themselves in the traditions and 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:43.600 some people that were like, well, now all these opportunities 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:45.040 are out there, like let me see if I can 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:48.240 shape shiftft and pivot and kind of maximize it. And 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:50.040 I hate when people view it as like job hopping 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:54.200 or whatever. It's like, why wouldn't we harness opportunities available 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:56.200 to us? So yeah, I've just tried a lot of stuff, 0:03:56.200 --> 0:03:58.320 and podcasting and writing is what's stuck. 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:03.280 The one after millennials, So they're called gen zs. Would 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:06.040 you rather be a gen Z millennial or Generation X, 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:11.160 which is exes sixty five to eighty I married an X. 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:15.800 Yeah, X is like they don't have people coming at 0:04:15.800 --> 0:04:17.880 them from both sides, like Boom or State millennials and 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:19.720 Gen Z kind of makes fun of how cringey we are. 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:21.200 But gen X, I feel like kind of chills in 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:23.280 the middle. So I feel like that's nice for their 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:26.200 Like Moniker, I don't know. I love being a millennial. 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:28.240 The whole point of the book is like it's not 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:31.200 inherently cringey to have been born between eighty three and 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:33.599 ninety six. Like people give us a hard time for 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:35.719 skinny jeans and side parts and whatever the hell else 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:39.000 we do talking about like our Harry Potter houses or something. 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:41.920 But I think that we're really dynamic because when we 0:04:41.960 --> 0:04:43.839 came of age and yeah, i'd be a millennial. 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:48.360 I so I never identified Mila millennia. 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:53.000 I should talk for a living, talking for a living, Gate, 0:04:54.920 --> 0:04:56.000 you don't like being a millennial. 0:04:56.120 --> 0:04:59.760 I just have never identified as one. I'm sorry. Did 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:02.400 you watch a Super Bowl and in that way? 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:05.400 Yeah? But I think it's like I was doing different 0:05:05.400 --> 0:05:07.800 things during Usher than like Kate was well when she 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:10.560 was listening. Not something I'm gonna comment on at Eastern 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:14.480 Michigan University, like Usher means something different to me than 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:15.160 it does to her. 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:17.400 I mean I was grinding in middle school. 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:24.880 Wow, Kate middle school. I feel like everyone that's true. 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:29.520 We did no I was the TUTSI roll. We rolled, 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:32.720 We didn't grind this. This is the most forty year 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:34.120 old moment. 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:36.960 I two rolled. I get it cut. 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.160 But I did see this is very sidebar and we're 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:40.440 going to get to your book. I promised, and we're 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:42.599 going off on tangents. But I saw this really funny 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:45.359 TikTok where it was like, you know, you're a millennial 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:50.039 or basically mom too. When it's like she's like, we 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:52.800 we raised the roof. We like, we did see roll. 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:55.719 We like, there's who who said that? Somebody said it 0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:56.120 did it? Was it? 0:05:56.200 --> 0:05:57.159 You? 0:05:57.240 --> 0:05:59.400 Probably? But I can't. I wish people could see what 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:01.000 you do when you're doing to dell. 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:05.960 Their roof. We tootsy rolled, we like. 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:07.960 There was so many of them, and I mean I 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:11.120 was I was crying, laughing, like because I'm like, that's 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:11.680 a millennial. 0:06:11.880 --> 0:06:12.920 That's just what we did. 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:16.400 But I don't know, I personally prefer I like being 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:20.000 a millennial. I don't know if I love gen zs. 0:06:20.760 --> 0:06:24.240 They seem a little give to me without working hard enough. 0:06:24.240 --> 0:06:27.160 It's kind of my some of them that I've come across, 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:30.039 not to stereotype all of them. I think it is 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:31.799 hard though, like what you're saying, and like you're stuck 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:35.160 in between because I know I quit teaching. I remember 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:37.080 my dad had a real moment with me because he 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:39.320 thought I had ruined my life because I wouldn't get 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:43.560 summers off direct quote, and and because dad said I 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:45.160 would never make it if I didn't go to college. 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:48.159 So I'm a failure. I went to college, and what 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:51.440 am I doing with that big question mark? But it 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:53.960 is interesting because I felt like I remember the job 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:56.520 hopping being the thing, right, like a little shaming about 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:59.160 the job hopping, and it was like, explain these jumps 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:01.520 in your resume, and do people even do resumes anymore? 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:04.800 I don't know. I don't did job iping too. 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:08.120 It's like, okay, you know, in prior generations, maybe you 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:10.640 could have a job for twenty five years because you 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:11.600 could get like a pension. 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:12.520 They were like benefits. 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:15.920 But now, you know, especially a lot of millennials graduating, 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:18.760 like the worst economic recession since the Great Depression, like 0:07:19.000 --> 0:07:22.560 you know, after the you know, late two thousands, like 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:25.040 stock market crash, and like a ton of people got 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:26.760 laid off, a ton of people couldn't find a job 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:28.720 when they entered the workforce. So it's kind of a 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:32.440 funny rhetoric that, like, we need to be loyal to 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.760 companies on principles, but on principle, but what if companies 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:37.520 have never been loyal to you, Like, shouldn't you look 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:38.960 out for your best interest and go from job to 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:40.880 job where it suits you. I don't really think that 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:43.960 that's a bad thing, but traditional values kind of label 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:44.760 it as a bad thing. 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.400 Yeah, he was definitely not happy with me, thought I 0:07:47.400 --> 0:07:49.520 made the worst decision of my life. I remember, and 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:53.040 now teaching. Can you imagine like my teacher friends, I'm 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:55.080 just like, bless their souls. 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:57.720 It's a lot, Oh, I got a lot. Yeah. Absolutely. 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:00.920 In your book, One in a Millennial, what you like? 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:04.160 What's the thing that listeners are going to take the 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:05.200 most from reading your book? 0:08:05.600 --> 0:08:07.600 I think it's a kind of sits the intersection of 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:10.320 two experiences, the generational one being a millennial, but also 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:14.400 the a gender one related to being a female and 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:16.720 how like the pop culture and me that I loved 0:08:17.120 --> 0:08:18.720 made me a product of my time as a millennial. 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:20.760 But I also think there's a theme throughout girlhood, throughout 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:23.960 womanhood where your interests are kind of dismissed, minimize. You're 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:26.880 told things are insignificant, or you're told you simply emotionally 0:08:26.920 --> 0:08:29.800 responding to things as you being dramatic, and I kind 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:33.120 of wanted to honor and really I kind of call 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:36.439 it like, you know, verbally man spreading on the pages, 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:38.400 like all of the experiences I felt like I should 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:40.280 shrink or not be proud of or the things I 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:43.559 loved that you know, we're too mainstream to be sophisticated. 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:45.440 I kind of just wanted to own and encourage people 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:47.960 to like like what you like instead of, you know, 0:08:48.000 --> 0:08:49.280 caring about being liked. 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:52.680 But that's the problem though with our generation, though, is 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:57.720 we're kind of based off of likes because of the 0:08:57.920 --> 0:08:59.439 social media that we came into. 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:05.040 Yeah, we're very like, very external validation driven and in 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:08.840 social media just yeah, app compounds to the issue, and 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:10.560 I think that's kind of part of it. Is Like, 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:13.319 don't you feel like as you've gotten older, there's you 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:15.920 more confidence in ownership and like who you are, but 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:18.000 you at least I can only speak for myself. I 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:21.800 spent my whole life so deeply concerned with how people 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:23.959 perceived me, and now I just kind of want to 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:26.360 hug myself, you know, and be like like your top 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:27.480 forty music dress up like this. 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:28.760 Wise girls live your life. 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:43.880 Yeah, wear what you want. I wonder this, do you 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:45.400 feel like? This? 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:46.400 Is something I wonder often. 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:49.440 So Janna and I both have three kids and they're 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:53.280 all basically the same ages, and our girls lead the charge. 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:55.480 They are eight years old now, and. 0:09:55.600 --> 0:10:01.040 I wonder do you feel like our dog will ever 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:05.000 feel what we have felt? Because I actually resonate with 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:07.920 what you're saying. I think it was like almost like 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:12.000 dream but dream private because exactly it was a very 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:14.840 like it was a man a man's man's world. I 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:17.000 mean it was just I mean that's just culture, right, 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:22.320 that's fact, not opinion. So it's interesting because I wonder, then, 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:23.600 do you think our daughters? 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:24.560 Do you have kids? 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:24.840 Kate? 0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:27.320 Yeah, oh you do? What do you have? 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:30.400 I just had a baby in August? So I have 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:32.000 a five month six month old son. 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:35.920 Noll. Okay, congratulations the three of us for even talking 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:38.720 publicly while being recorded in postpartum, all three of us. 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:41.320 And then yeah, I am just sweating all the time 0:10:41.920 --> 0:10:44.240 right now, not ever since I gave birth, and I 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:45.000 never stopped. 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:47.040 It's okay, I was just telling her. 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:49.920 I was like, I stink like the smellingness because I'm 0:10:49.960 --> 0:10:53.319 six Sorry, jeez, I'm three months postpartum. 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:54.040 I can't talk. 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:56.320 Yeah, and I'm eight months and still sweating. So and 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:58.440 then I decided to wear like an actual sweater suit 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:02.040 today to try to be festive. So do you feel 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:05.000 like then our kids grow up even knowing that like it. 0:11:05.400 --> 0:11:08.000 It feels refreshing to me that they may never like 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:11.760 our girls specifically, may never feel that way because we've 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:15.560 really taken the narrative in a different direction. I think 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:19.760 every like generation has their own pluses and minuses. Like 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.960 I think one great thing about growing up now it's like, yeah, 0:11:22.960 --> 0:11:25.280 you have the con of social media at a formative age, 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:26.800 but you have the plus of mental health being an 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:30.480 open conversation. I think what's unique about being a millennial is, like, 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:34.440 you know, we had all the social media came out 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:36.800 of nowhere like halfway through our adolescence, and we weren't 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:39.920 talking about mental health. So the harsh level of comparison 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:43.360 paired with like, you know, me not understanding the difference 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:45.800 between butterflies and like an anxiety disorder, like that didn't 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:48.000 work in our favor. So I have hope for younger 0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:51.560 people that there's a more more transparency around like how 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:54.680 you're internalizing the things young girls go through and hopefully 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:57.880 more working through it than avoiding it than feeling ashamed. 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:00.760 But I also like researched a lot for this book 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:04.319 about that age you're talking about eight, And I thought, 0:12:04.520 --> 0:12:06.800 and I think the themes of girlhood like kind of 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:09.880 transcend generations. I read this book called The Confidence Code 0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:11.800 for Girls, and it talks about how from ages nine 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:16.120 to fourteen, girls confidence like nose dives and young boys rises. 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:19.120 And I think that tween age is so interesting. And 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:21.600 I came back a book I came across a quote 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:23.560 that like stopped me in my tracks. It was if 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:26.400 life was one long grade school, girls would rule the 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:30.760 world because girls are like so disproportionately amazingly confident, and 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:32.920 then these things like in society kind of break down 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:35.320 that confidence as they go through puberty. And I think 0:12:35.320 --> 0:12:37.480 there's still a big message there, like for myself as 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:40.920 a parent too, in terms of thinking like keeping that 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:45.120 that kind of confidence of girlhood alive and not making 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:47.600 them feel like they need to age out of certain 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:49.840 hobbies or interests or I don't know, you know that 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:51.320 age when all of a sudden, you're not looking at 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:52.839 the world and where you're like staring into a mirror. 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:54.960 You're like in dressing rooms, you're so you're aware of 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:57.439 boys and all these things. I wrote a lot about 0:12:57.440 --> 0:12:59.440 that time period in Girlhood because I think that's something 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:02.960 everybody and relate to. Things really do change. But I 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:06.200 love that wistful age of yeah, seven eight, when you're 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.360 like on a fact finding mission about the world that 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:10.160 you don't have access to yet and. 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:11.480 I'm so unafraid. 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:13.680 Yeah, And the quote that I always go back to 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:17.200 is who were you before the world told you any different? 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:17.800 You know? 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:20.840 So it's like, yeah, And that's where it's I'm very 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:24.760 mindful of, like trying to be careful the words that 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:26.480 I say, especially because I'm like, I don't want to 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:28.920 be the reason why, you know, my kids feel a 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:32.360 certain way, because I'm the one telling them things. Right. So, 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:34.280 when I was getting on Jolly the other day for 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:38.760 not she just leaves gobs of toothpaste in the sink, 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:42.679 and I'm like, for the love of God, animals, please wash. 0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:44.680 But I'm like, you know, and I'm like, but I 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:46.679 have to watch it too. Because I'm like, god, what, 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:48.600 like what are you thinking? You know, like that's what 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:50.720 I want to say, because it's just it's I don't 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:54.400 understand how they they're just so messy, but I'm really 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:57.319 their fear at her age, right, So I was afraid 0:13:57.600 --> 0:13:59.480 all the time to leave a mess because it was 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:02.840 so catas strophic. On the other side of things, anything 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:07.439 that was just childlike or innocent would just became catastrophic 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:10.319 and I should know better and very like shaming mm hmm. 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:14.000 And so it's very I I do the same thing. 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:19.760 Do you remember that, oh, very early, probably like six six, Yeah, 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:23.640 very interesting. But it is like how do you then 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:26.640 like you don't want to go opposite, like, oh, just 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:27.840 leave the leave the mess. 0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:30.520 I know, I know. Then you're just they're not. I 0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:32.600 don't know. So that's just like that's hard. 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:35.480 I feel like we're all I think our age essentially, 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:37.800 especially when it comes to parenting, feels like we're like 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:41.040 bowling without bumpers and we're just trying to like keep 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:43.640 it like if we hit any pins, it's a win. 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:46.160 It's kind of how I feel right now, because you know, 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:48.720 like there's just so much coming at us, so much 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:52.320 coming at them. We're parenting. We have nobody to lean 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:55.200 into that's ever parented with the amount of information that 0:14:55.240 --> 0:15:00.800 comes at us or technology, so we are essentially like 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:04.120 the We're the ones everyone will look to to start 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:06.880 to ask, but we know nothing and everything at the 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:07.360 same time. 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.200 Totally when I had when I became a mom, everyone 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.480 told me about mother's instinct, which I do have like 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:16.400 in some cases, but I feel like my desire to 0:15:16.480 --> 0:15:19.000 look for the right answer will like override my instinct, 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:20.840 and like my instinct is to google it. 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:22.680 That's it. 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:27.440 Yeah, it's like over analyzing everything because we just because 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:28.720 our scar tissue gets. 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:29.680 In the way. 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:33.240 But let us not forget. We had map Quest, okay, 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:36.920 and I love the lime wire. We had LimeWire and 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:39.360 all the things, you know, because map Quest got me 0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:42.320 so busted. One time, my best friend and I printed 0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:45.480 out directions to Michigan State and left them on the 0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:47.640 desk and her mom found them and then asked what 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:49.200 we were doing that night, and We're like totally going 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:51.240 to Becky's and she was like, that's interesting, what's this 0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:52.640 paper copy? 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.320 Early lessons of never having a paper trail and I 0:15:57.360 --> 0:15:59.760 got in trouble for printing out the lyrics to Shaggy's 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:03.320 it Isn't Me and I laughed thinking about my mom 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:06.920 seeing in the printer tray like shorty calm butt naked 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:09.760 like banging on the bathroom floor. You remember that song? 0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:11.480 I don't know I rented. 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:15.040 I think I wanted to memorize it. Why were you 0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:18.400 printing nick ka, This is a question memori know. We 0:16:18.480 --> 0:16:20.320 never she wanted to memorize it. 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:23.080 Did you guys use AOL instant messenger? 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:26.160 Yeah, that's how I talked to him, like the high 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:29.480 school boyfriends, and the away message mattered, Oh it did. 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:33.240 It was like when we broke right, I'm done away message. 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:37.320 That's so something that would be, that's like, that's you. 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:40.000 Mine was like I'm the best day ever. 0:16:41.600 --> 0:16:42.000 B RB. 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:45.800 Some people use them to share like how busy they were, 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.640 like you know, school, feball church, hit the cell. And 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:51.440 then some people you like, would put up vague emo 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:54.040 quotes like my hopes are so high that your kids 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:55.720 might kill me, So won't you kill me? So well 0:16:55.760 --> 0:16:58.560 die happy? You remember like dashboard, which is so extreme, 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:01.720 But I did that. I would like be passive aggressive 0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:05.640 about my feelings toward boys via away message Kate hot 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:08.760 girl move was going idle and being like, I'm so busy. 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:11.240 I'm great out on your buddy list. 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:14.119 That's what I can't wait to teach Jolie. It's like 0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:17.480 they like, you don't need to do all that, Like 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:20.520 it's just don't be available, you know, because that's when 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:22.520 they want you if you're two And just like I 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:24.760 wish I just enjoyed high school. I was always up 0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:28.680 on my high school sweetheart and worrying about making sure 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:30.800 he was okay. And I'm like, I should just been 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:34.160 with my girlfriends. Well we learned it later. Yeah, we'll 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:37.159 pass away later. Yeah, okay. Kate, so you have a 0:17:37.160 --> 0:17:39.520 book once in a millennial you also have a podcast 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:40.440 be there in five? 0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:41.399 Is that correct? 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:47.080 Which I just enjoy feels very millennialist, a millennial ish. 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:50.040 What is what's your like dream of all dreams? If 0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:55.960 you could like unapologetically no filter, what does Kate want 0:17:56.000 --> 0:17:56.600 to do next? 0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:58.200 WWKD? 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:01.440 You know what's so crazy? And this isn't even like 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:04.400 a promotional shtick. Is like writing that one and Emilia 0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:07.119 was my dream and like I'm kind of a random person, 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:10.280 non celebrity podcaster who had trouble getting through a lot 0:18:10.320 --> 0:18:13.000 of gatekeepers to like get my work out there, and 0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:15.719 being able to write a book about like things, all 0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:18.919 things girlish and frivolous and pop culture related is just 0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:21.880 like such a moment of pride for me. And it's 0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:24.680 been really really cool. Like to your point about LimeWire, 0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:26.560 like the cover is a burned CD. I mean it's 0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:29.760 just so I love being able to share the experiences 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:32.919 I've learned from my listeners over the years. And I mean, 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:34.840 I'm sure you guys can relate. Podcasting is a great gig. 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:37.119 It's a really cool job, and I hope to be 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:39.280 able to do it for a while. But with internet careers, 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:41.960 you never know. So what's next for me is sustainability 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:44.400 of what I have when I get to the church. 0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:49.240 Said amen, And Kate, where can our listeners find you? 0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:51.960 You can find me at my podcast be there in 0:18:52.000 --> 0:18:56.120 five wherever podcasts are, and my Instagram is at Kate 0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:58.879 Kennedy and yeah by one on a one know wherever 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:01.480 books are sold. Or the audiobook Nine Months Pregnant, That 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:02.320