1 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:12,760 Speaker 1: Welcome back, everybody to another episode of Wide Open. I 2 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: am so excited to be here with the one and 3 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,080 Speaker 1: only Angela Davis. Welcome to the show. 4 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. 5 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 1: You love grateful, you look fabulous as always. What's going 6 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 1: on updated, Dad. 7 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 2: I'm just life is lifing, and I woke up grateful. 8 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 2: I woke up excited to share space with you, you know. 9 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 2: I woke up and you know, getting the kiddo off 10 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:44,839 Speaker 2: to school, you know, and another one that I just 11 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:49,880 Speaker 2: got off the phone with, who's in Philly playing soccer. Yeh, 12 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 2: as we're here in Los Angeles. So that's an adjustment, 13 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,840 Speaker 2: you know. But life is lifing, and I feel like 14 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm grateful. 15 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, and we all should be. Yeah. 16 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 1: I just want to be grateful and I appreciate that. 17 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:11,120 Speaker 1: I appreciate you showing up and coming today and giving 18 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 1: us that kind of energy every time you walk through 19 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: the door. It's just like you're light. You're an absolute light. 20 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: Thank you, your character, your integrity. So for the people 21 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 1: who don't know you, yeah, introduce yourself to the viewers listeners. 22 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, I am Angela Emanuel Davis. I am a former 23 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 2: professional athlete turned coach, motivational speaker, fitness evangelists. I just 24 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 2: finished my first book. I just finished my first album. 25 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:46,959 Speaker 2: I created a mantra album, which I'm like super stoked about. 26 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 2: I put my motivation over beats and it's sick and 27 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 2: I'm proud of it. 28 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 1: And I'm proud of you. I tell you what, the 29 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: way you serve other people, thank you. You know. I 30 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 1: tell you this. You know, I was just talking to 31 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 1: you about this. It is really a gift. I appreciate 32 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: it and the courage to share that gift and be 33 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 1: so vulnerable and all encompassing of what you've lived in 34 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 1: all of your seasons to share it. I think you 35 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 1: have had such a beautiful journey of life, not all good, 36 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: not all bad, but you have weathered so many season 37 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:37,240 Speaker 1: seasons and you're so wise because you learn from every moment. 38 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: So take me back to your origin story, take me 39 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:47,639 Speaker 1: back to your father, Jerry, your siblings. I mean, you're 40 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 1: also creative, you're also inspiring. You all have such a 41 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: beautiful gift. And it's not just in the things you do, 42 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: it's how you show up you And I. 43 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 2: Want to know that. I think that came from my parents. 44 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 2: You know, like my mom and dad, our high school sweethearts, 45 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 2: still married to this day. You know, like started dating 46 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 2: when my mom was fifteen, and I'm the oldest of four. 47 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,959 Speaker 2: It's myself and then my brother Jerry Lorenzo, my brother 48 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:27,240 Speaker 2: Anthony Manuel, and my sister Natalie manual Lye and my 49 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:31,520 Speaker 2: parents just taught us to take whatever it is that 50 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 2: we were given and give it back to the world. 51 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 2: Like that was the cycle. It was. It was cyclical. 52 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 2: It was like, what are the gifts and talents God 53 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 2: has given you? Now you give those back to the world. 54 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 2: That was the standard that we were going to serve humanity, 55 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 2: that we were going to contribute to this world, that 56 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 2: we weren't just going to be takers, that we were 57 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 2: going to be givers, that we were going to show 58 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 2: up and figure out how to push humanity forward and 59 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 2: make the world better. What better fulfillment when you when 60 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 2: you're doing the thing that you know you're supposed to 61 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,680 Speaker 2: be doing, it just hits different. 62 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 1: And not all people see the world that way. 63 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 2: Nope. But and I get that, and I get that, 64 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 2: and I and I you know, sometimes I feel like 65 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 2: there's a naivity and a foolishness to see the world 66 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,160 Speaker 2: that way, But I just I can't imagine living any 67 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:25,600 Speaker 2: other way. 68 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: What got you there? 69 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:27,640 Speaker 2: Like? 70 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 1: What was this type of character and integrity you carry 71 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 1: with you in every room and every class and every 72 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: big moment, but most importantly in every small moment. Because 73 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:47,159 Speaker 1: you know your people may not know this about your dad, 74 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 1: but your dad Jerry was a fantastic baseball player in 75 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: Major League Baseball and then became a really fantastic manager coach. 76 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,400 Speaker 1: Was he dad to you always? Or was he coach? 77 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,479 Speaker 1: Did he go back and forth? Like, I know so 78 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 1: much of who you are came from your upbringing, your family. Yeah, 79 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 1: but I'm curious being raised by a coach and an 80 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,480 Speaker 1: athlete is so successful. 81 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean he was drafted out of high school 82 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 2: to play professional baseball. He had over two hundred and 83 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 2: twenty scholarship offers to play baseball, football, basketball. His best 84 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 2: sport was football. He was going to go to UCLA, 85 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,239 Speaker 2: but he decided when he was drafted by the Detroit 86 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 2: Tigers to go with baseball because his family needed the money. 87 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,279 Speaker 2: So he chose baseball, which wasn't even his favorite or 88 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 2: his best sport, and he was a mediocre player. He 89 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,320 Speaker 2: was good enough to be drafted out of high school. 90 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 2: He made it to the big leagues, but spent most 91 00:05:55,880 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 2: of his playing career in the minor leagues. Then went 92 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 2: to the front office, scouting and different front office positions, 93 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 2: and then found himself really craving to be back on 94 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 2: the field. And I think he like back in the day, 95 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 2: they don't do this anymore. But he was like a 96 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 2: player coach, and then he just started coaching and working 97 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 2: his way up from coaching to managing to you know, 98 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 2: eventually like manager of the Year. Like he was just 99 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 2: like an epic manager, coach, teacher, And for him, it 100 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 2: was always what he found was so important was he 101 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:51,479 Speaker 2: knew he had this opportunity with these men, and he 102 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 2: knew that these men were tremendous athletes. But he knew 103 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 2: that the bigger calling and the bigger tasks for him 104 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 2: was to get the man, the father, the son, the brother, 105 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,720 Speaker 2: the partner, to be just as great as the athlete. O, honey, 106 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,119 Speaker 2: you see what I'm saying. Oh, you see what I'm saying. 107 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 2: And he knew that that was the call. He understood that, 108 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 2: and because he understood that as a coach, that's who 109 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 2: he was as a father. So it wasn't always about 110 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 2: we were all extremely talented, you know, but it wasn't. 111 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 2: The emphasis wasn't on that, whereas you would have thought 112 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 2: it would have been on that because of who he 113 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 2: was as an athlete, a star athlete, and then a 114 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 2: professional athlete and coach. But it was who are you 115 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 2: as a person? Where is your integrity and your character? 116 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:02,800 Speaker 2: You know, where is that in comparison to Yeah, you know, 117 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 2: my junior year in high school, I have fifty one goals. 118 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,080 Speaker 2: My junior in high school, you know, I was you know, 119 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 2: running track out, running people in the one hundred meters, blowing 120 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 2: bubbles like chewing gum, blowing bubbles like and he was like, 121 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 2: uh amboo, Like, where where is the character? Like, yeah, 122 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 2: I'm proud of that athleticism, but I also know that 123 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 2: that comes easy for you. I didn't have to work 124 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,680 Speaker 2: hard in high school. I was just good. I was 125 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,200 Speaker 2: just talented. I didn't really start to work hard until 126 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,839 Speaker 2: I got to college and I realized, oh my god, 127 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 2: everyone's good. But like, those were the things that he 128 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 2: was developing in us as children, Like what are you 129 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 2: going to do with that? Is that for your is 130 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 2: that for your glory? Is that for your you know, notoriety, 131 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,560 Speaker 2: What is that for? What do you want to do 132 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 2: with that? And it was those questions and in like 133 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 2: grade school, middle school, high school that challenged us as 134 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 2: children to just want to be good humans, not just 135 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 2: great in what we do, but like great as people, 136 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 2: great as humans, you know, like you can be a 137 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 2: great athlete and a bad person. Oh god, yeah, what 138 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 2: is that? 139 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:36,840 Speaker 1: Yeah? And I think that's what makes you such a 140 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 1: good coach as well. When I came onto the scene, 141 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:48,960 Speaker 1: I struggled a lot mentally, and I think, what you know, watching, listening, hearing, 142 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 1: because I've been following you for a long time. It's 143 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 1: your ability to understand your physical health and journey is important, 144 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:04,240 Speaker 1: but your mental wellness and health is just as important. 145 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:08,000 Speaker 1: And I think as athletes we get it twisted. We 146 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:13,320 Speaker 1: spend so much time physically on preparing our bodies for 147 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: battle and whatever sport we do, and we neglect so 148 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 1: much from the neck up. And just like you said, 149 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 1: it doesn't I don't care how good you are if 150 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,079 Speaker 1: you're a fucking mess of a human and you're just 151 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,960 Speaker 1: taking and stealing people's light and moving through the world 152 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 1: in the spaces with this type of entitlement that you 153 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:38,120 Speaker 1: just don't care. You don't care the effect you leave 154 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:42,160 Speaker 1: on people. And this is probably why some of the 155 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,960 Speaker 1: biggest names in anything wants to be a part of 156 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,600 Speaker 1: what you do. Right. You know, you think about all 157 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 1: the people you've trained over the years, of the jay Zs, 158 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: to the Beyonces, to the beck Gums, to Carry Washington, 159 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 1: Kelly Rowland, how the list probably goes on and on 160 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:07,320 Speaker 1: and on. But I love how you push people to 161 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 1: not better themselves self just physically, but mentally and spiritually 162 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,960 Speaker 1: and finding I think in a world that is so 163 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 1: dark and hard, especially right now, people are questioning what 164 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:27,559 Speaker 1: is my purpose? And sometimes it takes people like you 165 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: to say walk with me. I'm going to hold your 166 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:33,800 Speaker 1: hand through this, and I'm going to open up your 167 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 1: potential and put my ego to the side. There's so 168 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: much beauty in that, But I know it took a 169 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 1: lot of pain for you to get to that place 170 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:53,679 Speaker 1: and why you chose after a beautiful career in sports 171 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,440 Speaker 1: and playing for the US track and field team and 172 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: all of you have so many creative part of you, 173 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 1: you were like, I'm going to do this. I'm going 174 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 1: to do this out of pain, And I always ask 175 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:13,079 Speaker 1: this question on the podcast, what was that one moment 176 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 1: that split you wide open that changed it all? 177 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 2: Dang, that's a good question. 178 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, and we all have that movie. 179 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:29,679 Speaker 2: When I was in college, I went to I went 180 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:33,319 Speaker 2: to a Christian university. I grew up in a faith 181 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,320 Speaker 2: based home, and my parents really wanted me to go 182 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:39,080 Speaker 2: to a Christian university. And all Robert University was a 183 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:44,319 Speaker 2: Division one school, and I got a scholarship to run track, 184 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 2: and so I end up at this really conservative Christian school. 185 00:12:54,920 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 2: And that Christian school taught me to be an activist. 186 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 2: It taught me how to fight for my rights and 187 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 2: what I believed in because all of a sudden saw 188 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:24,439 Speaker 2: so much that I felt like was wrong. And part 189 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:28,280 Speaker 2: of being at a Christian university was signing an honor code, 190 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:34,199 Speaker 2: and in this honor code you couldn't have premarital sex. 191 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:44,840 Speaker 2: And I was like really ashamed of like breaking the 192 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 2: honor code in that way, Like I was really ashamed, 193 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 2: Like you were made to feel like a sinner and 194 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 2: like a really bad person. And so I end up 195 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 2: marrying some dude in college because I don't want to 196 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:06,600 Speaker 2: have premarital sex, so out of shame. Yep, I get 197 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,680 Speaker 2: married to someone who just should have been my boyfriend. 198 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,679 Speaker 2: He just should have been my boyfriend. It was just 199 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:18,800 Speaker 2: a stupid, young ridiculous It was so ridiculous. It was 200 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 2: so ridiculous. Yes, but it and it lasted like as 201 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,200 Speaker 2: long as the little relationship should last. But we got 202 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 2: a divorce, and that crushed me. I was devastated. I 203 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 2: was a failure. I was a sinner. I was I mean, 204 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:47,120 Speaker 2: first of all, I was twenty one. I was a baby, 205 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 2: like what am I doing? 206 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:49,800 Speaker 1: Cultural influence? 207 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:57,360 Speaker 2: What am I doing? And it split me open. The 208 00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 2: divorce split me open. The failure split me open. The 209 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:08,360 Speaker 2: shame split me open, and it split me open, and 210 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 2: then it made me hide it because then I soon 211 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:16,320 Speaker 2: realized how ridiculous it was. So then I was embarrassed 212 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 2: that that was even my situation. Like first I was 213 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 2: embarrassed that I got a divorce, but then I was 214 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 2: embarrassed that I even got married under those circumstances, and 215 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 2: like that I was even like brainwashed. So then I 216 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 2: held that. Then I held that shame, and I was 217 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 2: just bleeding. I was just bleeding. And then I had 218 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 2: to kind of hide to heal and not like and 219 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 2: people didn't even know fully what I was having to 220 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 2: heal from. But that young marriage and all of the surroundings, 221 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:57,880 Speaker 2: the implications, and like, all of what that represented in 222 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 2: my life split me open. 223 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 1: I'm interested to ask you this question, and I haven't 224 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:10,000 Speaker 1: been able to ask you this, yeah, knowing how hard 225 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 1: that was for you to sit in and walk through. 226 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 1: You know, I recently got a divorce. I felt like 227 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 1: I always could feel you and hear you through my 228 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:26,640 Speaker 1: social media. You would just send little reminders of are 229 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,920 Speaker 1: you okay, You're going to be okay? How are you 230 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 1: thinking about you? Did you make space for me? Because 231 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,560 Speaker 1: you knew I was going through the same thing, and 232 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 1: you know the shame and depression one goes through. 233 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 2: I knew exactly, and I didn't want to assume, like 234 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,520 Speaker 2: super tight girlfriend that can hold that kind of space 235 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 2: for you. I didn't want to assume that right. But 236 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,880 Speaker 2: I needed you to know I saw you. I need 237 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 2: you to know you were seen. I needed you to 238 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,400 Speaker 2: know you weren't alone, and I needed you to know 239 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,359 Speaker 2: that you were going to get through that. And I 240 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:13,000 Speaker 2: could only just insert where I felt I had the 241 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,919 Speaker 2: right to. But I knew, I knew what that felt 242 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 2: like like we can't ever say we know exactly what 243 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:26,199 Speaker 2: someone else's situation feels like. But I knew to a 244 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:31,159 Speaker 2: certain extent what that felt like. And I was married. 245 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,879 Speaker 2: My first marriage was to professional athlete. He was like, 246 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:39,239 Speaker 2: played poral baseball. My dad's like I was mortified. I 247 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:45,280 Speaker 2: was mortified. I felt like everyone knew. And then I 248 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:49,159 Speaker 2: had this glorious example of marriage and my parents and 249 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:54,760 Speaker 2: I just felt like I'm a joke. Yeah, I'm a loser. 250 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:59,120 Speaker 1: And even when people have an opinion on your experience, 251 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:03,240 Speaker 1: no one is hard on yourself than you. I remember, 252 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 1: and I am so grateful that you chose to do 253 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:11,080 Speaker 1: those things. And a time where I was like I 254 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: was in the trenches, like I waking up. I just 255 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 1: remember when you talk about being hopeful. I remember just 256 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:25,240 Speaker 1: waking up being like that's enough today. And then I 257 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,119 Speaker 1: did feel like a lot of people shut doors on me, 258 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 1: but you didn't, and you didn't have to. It wasn't 259 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:38,160 Speaker 1: like we had this crazy relationship friendship we never even 260 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 1: had met in person, but your gift and your light, 261 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:47,920 Speaker 1: and this is what I just I feel so deeply connected. 262 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,959 Speaker 1: You have no idea when someone is walking through the 263 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:57,200 Speaker 1: most difficult, darkest time of their life. What a small 264 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:03,120 Speaker 1: gesture of kindness, Yeah, to say, I see you, I'm 265 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 1: making space for your feelings and you're gonna be okay. 266 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 1: You're gonna be okay. And thank you absolutely because it 267 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:19,879 Speaker 1: was such a hard time and you lived it. But 268 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 1: the beauty of being able to not run from it, 269 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:29,400 Speaker 1: to learn from it, to be hopeful and to lead 270 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,600 Speaker 1: this life of saying I just have to put one 271 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:35,359 Speaker 1: foot in front of the other, like I'm not gonna 272 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: always get it right, but I'm going to learn from it. 273 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,679 Speaker 2: Well, it's that choice piece, right, It's that choice piece 274 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 2: that you just said, And it's like, I'm going to 275 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 2: choose to let this grow me and stretch me and 276 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 2: make me better. I'm going to choose to put a 277 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 2: different perspective on this. I'm not a victim. I'm victorious. 278 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 2: Say it again, I'm not a victim. I'm victorious and 279 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:14,199 Speaker 2: I'm gonna make that choice. And it didn't happen to me, 280 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 2: but it happened for me. I'm gonna get out of 281 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,320 Speaker 2: it what I need to get out of it, because 282 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 2: there's something in that that are ingredients that I need 283 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 2: to prepare me for where I'm going period, like, I 284 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:37,800 Speaker 2: can't be who I need to be without this experience. Therefore, 285 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 2: I can put a skew of good, I could put 286 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 2: a skew of hope on that. 287 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:50,399 Speaker 1: What tells me everything I already know about you is 288 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:55,720 Speaker 1: in a time of healing, you chose to not only 289 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,679 Speaker 1: heal yourself but serve other people. 290 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:02,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. I had to had to like, that's the easiest 291 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 2: way out of your own way is to not make 292 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:09,560 Speaker 2: it about you, you know. For me, it was like, 293 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:15,360 Speaker 2: all right, I'm gonna I'm going to start substitute teaching 294 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:19,679 Speaker 2: whilst I'm going through this divorce. I was living on 295 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 2: the South I was living on the North side of Chicago, 296 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,000 Speaker 2: and at that time, my dad was managing the Chicago 297 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,440 Speaker 2: White Sox and there was a school on the South 298 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 2: Side of Chicago, and you had to walk through metal 299 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,640 Speaker 2: detectors every day, which was not normal for me. That 300 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:43,520 Speaker 2: wasn't how I how I grew up. But I was like, 301 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 2: I'm a substitute teacher at this school with these students, 302 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 2: and I'm going to get in the pocket with them, 303 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So all of a sudden, 304 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:59,240 Speaker 2: kids are coming to school that experience that just experienced 305 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:03,439 Speaker 2: tragedy that I couldn't even fully wrap my head around. 306 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:07,160 Speaker 2: Kids coming to school, hungry, and like all of a sudden, 307 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:14,679 Speaker 2: your perspective is shifted, and this moment that you're going through, 308 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 2: it just is put in a different perspective. It's put 309 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,679 Speaker 2: in a different perspective. It doesn't negate the hurt and 310 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 2: the heartache. But for me, that's the quickest root to 311 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:34,399 Speaker 2: healing is to start to pour on and love on 312 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:40,800 Speaker 2: other people in the act of service. It just takes 313 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:41,200 Speaker 2: you there. 314 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 1: This is wide open and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris. 315 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:54,639 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. We'll be right back. What I know 316 00:22:55,720 --> 00:23:00,080 Speaker 1: about you, twofolds, how you do anything is how you 317 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:03,919 Speaker 1: do everything. Oh the way you show up and every 318 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 1: moment as a wife, sister, mother, business woman. How you 319 00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 1: do anything is how you do everything. And I feel 320 00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:22,119 Speaker 1: like your servants towels always make sure it's always bigger 321 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 1: than your ego. You have no fucking ego and you 322 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 1: have every right to And your gift is this the 323 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,280 Speaker 1: beauty of being able to make space for other people 324 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 1: based on all of these lives that you've lived and 325 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:46,160 Speaker 1: all this pain you've gone through. Because life is so oh, 326 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:47,280 Speaker 1: I mean, it. 327 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:52,160 Speaker 2: Just it just keeps acting. It just keeps acting, keeps 328 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,080 Speaker 2: acting up, it keeps cutting up. It's gonna keep cutting up. 329 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,000 Speaker 2: It's gonna keep cutting up. I tell you that right now. 330 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 1: It's it's always it's always like I'm always like, ohh, 331 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like in a boxing match with life 332 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 1: right now. 333 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. 334 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 1: But you go through this situation with depression and you 335 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:20,840 Speaker 1: choose to while you're healing yourself, serve other people, and 336 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:26,080 Speaker 1: you just your career takes off completely. I mean, no 337 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,280 Speaker 1: one cared about soul cycle until you. 338 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:29,960 Speaker 2: I'm serious. 339 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 1: It was like everything you were building for yourself and 340 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,880 Speaker 1: the way you were healing, and you were in this 341 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:44,640 Speaker 1: healing journey, you find what I assume is the man 342 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:49,679 Speaker 1: of your dreams because I saw you two together not 343 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 1: too long ago. And the first thing, yeah, the first 344 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 1: you came back over and you were like, I had 345 00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 1: to introduce you to my man's and there's it was 346 00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:04,320 Speaker 1: like seeping out of your pores. This just joy and 347 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:08,440 Speaker 1: happiness and tenderness. And then when he opened his mouth 348 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:13,360 Speaker 1: and how genuine and safe and he's. 349 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 2: Just he's so good, like I'm not good, like he 350 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:23,080 Speaker 2: comes no, he is so good. It's nauseating. It's nauseating. 351 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:27,280 Speaker 2: I am the hot mess, like super extra wife. Like 352 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:31,720 Speaker 2: he is so dope and like chill and like good 353 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,640 Speaker 2: and pure and like like he's so. 354 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:42,479 Speaker 1: Well, he's handsome. Oh he is handsy, but he's just 355 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:48,720 Speaker 1: so genuine and you feel it immediately, you know. So 356 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:52,679 Speaker 1: tell me about when he came into your world and 357 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:57,560 Speaker 1: your life and how it changed so much, because clearly 358 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:02,360 Speaker 1: even you sitting here now, like you're just so happy 359 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 1: in so many years and two beautiful boys. 360 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,840 Speaker 2: We'll be married twenty years, twenty years in your school, 361 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,480 Speaker 2: were just a couple months away from our twentieth anniversary. 362 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,560 Speaker 2: It's not nud I love it so dope, But how 363 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 2: did it happen? 364 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,199 Speaker 1: You know, you're going through such a tough time and 365 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:22,280 Speaker 1: then this is what you're talking about, ye, this moment 366 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 1: of just waiting and putting your hands up, being like 367 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:29,480 Speaker 1: something has to be out there for me. Yeah. 368 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:34,520 Speaker 2: It My mom said this. My mom said something to 369 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:39,600 Speaker 2: me one day. She was like, she's like, you need 370 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:45,000 Speaker 2: to find someone that loves God more than they love you. 371 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:49,040 Speaker 2: Let me explain that to you what that meant for her? 372 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,400 Speaker 2: And I got it when I met Jerome was that 373 00:26:56,040 --> 00:27:04,120 Speaker 2: someone that puts their morals and standards and values and 374 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:11,399 Speaker 2: like he's all of that matters to him. He was 375 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:16,919 Speaker 2: gonna take care of me and treat me with honor 376 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 2: and respect because of the depth of his values and 377 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 2: his morals. And that had to do with his spiritual conviction. 378 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:32,000 Speaker 2: Not me, not because I'm dope, not because I'm fly, 379 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 2: not because he think I'm cute, Nope. His moral convictions 380 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 2: is what has him as the husband that he is 381 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:51,720 Speaker 2: to me, and vice versa. It's my moral convictions that 382 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:56,439 Speaker 2: have me in the role of the wife that I 383 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 2: need to be to him. And that was also what 384 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,200 Speaker 2: helped me like go through my divorce and like through 385 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 2: like situations where people are super shitty to me, is 386 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,639 Speaker 2: that I'm able to say, I have to go to 387 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:12,639 Speaker 2: a place where I'm like, this is also a child 388 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:17,440 Speaker 2: of God. This is also a child of God that's broken, 389 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:25,359 Speaker 2: that's hurting, that is lost and doesn't have their way 390 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:30,280 Speaker 2: and is hurting me because they're hurting and they don't 391 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,119 Speaker 2: know another way to show up. They don't know another 392 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:38,400 Speaker 2: way to show up. They maybe they don't know another 393 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:42,120 Speaker 2: way to show up, or maybe they don't have the 394 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 2: discipline to choose a different way to show up, and 395 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:49,880 Speaker 2: I'm going to choose to give them grace. Now I'm 396 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:54,120 Speaker 2: an learn from it. Shame on me if you know, 397 00:28:54,160 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 2: I'm gonna believe you. But I'll believe you, but I'll 398 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,760 Speaker 2: have to choose to forgive you because I'm not going 399 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,800 Speaker 2: to allow you to live rent free in my mind 400 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,760 Speaker 2: and torment me. I'm not going to keep playing it 401 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,520 Speaker 2: over and over what you did to me and like 402 00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,680 Speaker 2: I'm so a victim. No, I got stuff to do, 403 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:15,520 Speaker 2: in places to go. 404 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 1: I love that. 405 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 2: You see what I'm saying. 406 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,880 Speaker 1: Oh, I know what you're saying. 407 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,760 Speaker 2: So that's a choice and part of me being able 408 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 2: to because I can hold a grudge, right, and that's 409 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:33,239 Speaker 2: something that I constantly like working on, is like that 410 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:37,400 Speaker 2: letting go and not like holding that like weight that'll 411 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 2: just like weigh me down and like blur my vision 412 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 2: and block you know, perspective that I should have. Is 413 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 2: just like letting go of that of those things that 414 00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:50,680 Speaker 2: don't serve me and those people that don't serve me. 415 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:54,440 Speaker 2: Learn from it and keep it moving. 416 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 1: What I'm curious about is you're in this, you know, 417 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 1: beautiful season in your life careers. Incredible. You're actually changing 418 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,960 Speaker 1: the landscape of fitness. How I would like to say, 419 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 1: you really changed the landscape of fitness. You know, you're 420 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:21,000 Speaker 1: you're married, and you have your first child, and you 421 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 1: have you have been open about the postpartum depression took 422 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 1: you out, took me out. So as someone who has 423 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,000 Speaker 1: lived their life leading in this way that you have 424 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 1: and had gone through the mental health struggle you did 425 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 1: after that divorce, how did this one feel different? 426 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:59,080 Speaker 2: It's gnarly. It's gnarly. It's like, I mean, that bad 427 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:04,320 Speaker 2: boy was on me so tough, Like I couldn't get 428 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 2: up off the couch, like I was like I couldn't function, 429 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,959 Speaker 2: you know, and my you know, I was breastfeeding, so 430 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:23,160 Speaker 2: that made it like, you know, his food was easy, 431 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:29,800 Speaker 2: his food was easy, but like I couldn't function. I 432 00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 2: could function enough to feed him, yeah, but I couldn't function. 433 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:43,360 Speaker 2: It was gnarly. And I just am grateful, by the 434 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:51,000 Speaker 2: grace of God that I was able to keep breathing 435 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:56,320 Speaker 2: long enough to keep living. What kept you going in 436 00:31:56,400 --> 00:32:03,400 Speaker 2: the postpartum? What kept me going? I had already been 437 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:13,440 Speaker 2: through hard and I knew I could get through. I 438 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:17,520 Speaker 2: didn't know how I didn't have the answers. I didn't 439 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:22,400 Speaker 2: know what that looked like. But I held on to 440 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:26,920 Speaker 2: the fact there was still a glimmer of hope that 441 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 2: it won't take me out, it won't kill me, it 442 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:35,200 Speaker 2: won't take my last breath. It might take me down 443 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,520 Speaker 2: to it, but it ain't gonna take my last breath. 444 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:45,640 Speaker 2: I think that was faith. I think that was like 445 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:52,760 Speaker 2: knowing I had been through hard before and I want 446 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:53,600 Speaker 2: no punk. 447 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:55,080 Speaker 1: Yep. 448 00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:59,520 Speaker 2: I had to remember her, that little girl that I 449 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:04,040 Speaker 2: was so embarrassed about. I had to remember her. Oh, Shane, 450 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:08,240 Speaker 2: no pump, Shane, no pump. 451 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:15,560 Speaker 1: So would you consider the way you show up now? 452 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:24,000 Speaker 1: As you know coach mom wife, I assume these experiences. 453 00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:28,080 Speaker 1: Let's start with you know, the coach side of you. 454 00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:33,520 Speaker 1: I understand why people said your classes were it was 455 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:39,520 Speaker 1: like church on wheels. Yeah, you just was this just 456 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 1: a calling for you to move this way in this 457 00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:48,400 Speaker 1: space or like, what what was it that you said, Oh, 458 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to do this differently, and the way in 459 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:57,200 Speaker 1: which I'm going to do this is to create community. 460 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,720 Speaker 1: I don't say this lightly when I say you really 461 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:06,080 Speaker 1: change the landscape of what working out looked like. But 462 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,920 Speaker 1: how how did you decide to do that? Was this 463 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:12,239 Speaker 1: always just who this this was Angela, this is who 464 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,160 Speaker 1: I am, and this is how I show up. And 465 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:16,400 Speaker 1: you either, like you said, rock with it or you don't. 466 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:17,720 Speaker 2: There was a decision. 467 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:19,359 Speaker 1: There was a decision. Tell me about that. 468 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:23,880 Speaker 2: There is a decision. Well to your point in the 469 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:28,160 Speaker 2: audience here and then the audience that I you know, 470 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 2: if I'm standing in front of a room and I'm 471 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:36,560 Speaker 2: coaching a big class, we don't know what anyone's going through. 472 00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,160 Speaker 2: We don't know. So I'm first of all, im not 473 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,040 Speaker 2: going to act like I'm smart enough or cool enough 474 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:46,360 Speaker 2: to know that. So it's a just being like humble 475 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:51,319 Speaker 2: enough to be like I don't know. And for me, 476 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:56,520 Speaker 2: it was about then being brave enough to rely on 477 00:34:56,560 --> 00:35:00,719 Speaker 2: something bigger than me, like I just can't make it 478 00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:04,759 Speaker 2: without that, like I need like we didn't have to 479 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:08,640 Speaker 2: wake up today. We didn't have to, but we were 480 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,279 Speaker 2: on the wake up list. We got to see another day. 481 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:16,120 Speaker 2: That's a blessing. That's someone saying you're not done yet. 482 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:17,200 Speaker 1: Such a gift. 483 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,680 Speaker 2: That's someone saying you're not done yet. So I need 484 00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,239 Speaker 2: to tap in with the one that woke me up 485 00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:29,000 Speaker 2: today tappen like what do we got going on here? Like, 486 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 2: just use me. I don't know what anyone needs to hear, 487 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 2: but I'm just going to show up and surrender to 488 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:37,480 Speaker 2: the moment and be used. And that was the same 489 00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:42,279 Speaker 2: posture that I had going into those coaching moments. I 490 00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:46,239 Speaker 2: don't know what anyone needs. I actually don't want to 491 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:51,480 Speaker 2: be privy to too much because there's a gang other 492 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:54,640 Speaker 2: people in the room. So let me just surrender to 493 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 2: the moment and trust that you'll get what you need. 494 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,239 Speaker 2: You don't have to give me a personal story. Just 495 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:04,200 Speaker 2: let me surrender to this moment and trust that you'll 496 00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:09,160 Speaker 2: get fed, You'll get what you need. And then I 497 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:14,279 Speaker 2: think another part was when I made the decision was 498 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:16,800 Speaker 2: when I invited my dad one day to come, who 499 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,880 Speaker 2: was like Manager of the Year in two thousand, like 500 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:26,120 Speaker 2: just this brilliant genius coach, like so smart, so brilliant, 501 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 2: again understanding that what was important to him was that 502 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,960 Speaker 2: the man was as great as the athlete. I knew 503 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:39,040 Speaker 2: I had that same opportunity. I knew that every individual 504 00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:43,919 Speaker 2: that was in my room, if I could coach them 505 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:50,360 Speaker 2: to be great on that bike, the way that I 506 00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:53,920 Speaker 2: would use that was to coach them to be great 507 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:58,920 Speaker 2: period in every other area, because, like you said earlier, 508 00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:00,600 Speaker 2: the way you do one thing is the way you 509 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,520 Speaker 2: do all things. So if we can buy into that, 510 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:08,719 Speaker 2: I could intensely coach you to be super great on 511 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:13,600 Speaker 2: this bike or in this particular medium or whatever it is. 512 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,960 Speaker 2: At the same time, I'm cracking you open physically, and 513 00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,480 Speaker 2: you're like, oh my god, what's happening? Am I pouring 514 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:25,239 Speaker 2: in the coaching, the motivation, the encouragement, the inspiration, and 515 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:29,319 Speaker 2: you're able to receive it. It's able to seep in, 516 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 2: it's able to like find its home, And when it's 517 00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,719 Speaker 2: all said and done, you don't even realize what just happened, 518 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,520 Speaker 2: you know, But there was a moment where you were 519 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:46,640 Speaker 2: wide open, yes, and like the goodness was poured in, 520 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,359 Speaker 2: the love was poured in, the encouragement was poured in, 521 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,040 Speaker 2: and all of a sudden you were wide open and 522 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:56,200 Speaker 2: able to heal and be rewired and you didn't even 523 00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,839 Speaker 2: realize it. And a lot of times when we were 524 00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:03,120 Speaker 2: in those coach I was in those coaching situations, I 525 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:11,680 Speaker 2: would like sometimes I would look out and like see individuals, 526 00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:16,680 Speaker 2: but mostly like everybody was like one and I would 527 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,759 Speaker 2: and I would. I would see us as a collective. 528 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:22,319 Speaker 2: I would see us as a community. I would see 529 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,920 Speaker 2: us as like we're going to rise up as a team. 530 00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:28,399 Speaker 2: It was like open heart surgery, and I knew people 531 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:32,400 Speaker 2: were healing. I knew they were healing. I knew that 532 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:36,680 Speaker 2: people were coming and broken and walking out hole. Like 533 00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,640 Speaker 2: I knew it and I felt it and I saw it. 534 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:43,960 Speaker 2: I was just the spaceholder, you know what I mean, 535 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:48,160 Speaker 2: Like I was just like I was just the one 536 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:52,960 Speaker 2: that had to surrender and like allow what needed to 537 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,120 Speaker 2: take place to take place. Yes, and that's all like, 538 00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,359 Speaker 2: and I couldn't look at myself as anything more than what. 539 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,680 Speaker 1: A beautiful game that you have. 540 00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:02,759 Speaker 2: Thank you. 541 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,759 Speaker 1: And I will say this, it also can be a 542 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:09,160 Speaker 1: curse at times. I think that's the part people don't realize. 543 00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:15,160 Speaker 1: And I want to talk about that because I have 544 00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,360 Speaker 1: so much to learn from you and I'm so grateful 545 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:22,520 Speaker 1: for our time together and I just I get it 546 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,360 Speaker 1: in a way where and I say this all the 547 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:28,239 Speaker 1: time to my partner Sophia, because we go to a 548 00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:33,040 Speaker 1: lot of events between her entertainment piece and my sports. 549 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:37,160 Speaker 1: I mean it's constant. And she goes into a room, 550 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:41,880 Speaker 1: and she is just it ignites something in her to 551 00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:47,360 Speaker 1: have that human connection. She leaves those moments feeling so 552 00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:51,439 Speaker 1: inspired and just thinking, God, that was just like she's 553 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:52,000 Speaker 1: on a high. 554 00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:52,439 Speaker 2: Yeah. 555 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:58,359 Speaker 1: I have the ability in a very small way that 556 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:02,359 Speaker 1: I imagine you do, to see see people and meet 557 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:07,120 Speaker 1: them where they're at, to create space, to create a 558 00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:13,799 Speaker 1: moment of pure connection, to make them feel safe in 559 00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:19,160 Speaker 1: a way where conversations like this go deep. And I 560 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:25,200 Speaker 1: leave these spaces feeling so tired, and I truthfully there's 561 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:29,440 Speaker 1: times where I have to just lock myself in the 562 00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:33,600 Speaker 1: room for a few hours or not taught like it 563 00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:37,160 Speaker 1: takes so much out of me that I have to 564 00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:40,360 Speaker 1: hibernate in a way to recharge my batteries to be 565 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,600 Speaker 1: able to serve and show up and do it all 566 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:47,200 Speaker 1: over again. How do you protect yourself? Do you feel that? 567 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:48,120 Speaker 1: Is that very. 568 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:54,160 Speaker 2: I'm exactly the same way. And what I was taught 569 00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:59,279 Speaker 2: was that when you're and this may or may not 570 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:03,920 Speaker 2: be the case for you, uh and Sofia, but it 571 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,799 Speaker 2: is definitely the case for my husband and I is 572 00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:11,400 Speaker 2: that I'm an introvert and he's an extrovert. So Jerome 573 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,680 Speaker 2: and I have a thing where he knows I'll go 574 00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,960 Speaker 2: and I'll go hard in the paint like I'm out, 575 00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:21,640 Speaker 2: I'm doo doo, I'm doing all the things do do, 576 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:26,759 Speaker 2: giving life, given light lessons. And then as soon as 577 00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:33,719 Speaker 2: I have said all, I can say, I'm done, and 578 00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:37,360 Speaker 2: I'm done for a minute like I'm done, like it 579 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,840 Speaker 2: took me out yep. And then I have to go 580 00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,400 Speaker 2: and I have to refuel for a while, maybe some days. 581 00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:47,319 Speaker 2: And so what was hard about teaching as much as 582 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:50,440 Speaker 2: I was teaching was that I was going in the 583 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:53,600 Speaker 2: room and in those coaching moments, I was given all 584 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,800 Speaker 2: I had. I was pulling from like all of it, 585 00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:02,719 Speaker 2: just like here it is, here is everything and in 586 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:04,800 Speaker 2: the height. You know. There were times where I was 587 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:07,279 Speaker 2: doing that like five times a day, and I would 588 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:08,399 Speaker 2: go home at the end of the day and feel 589 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,600 Speaker 2: like I had the flu. Every Tuesday and Thursday when 590 00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:12,399 Speaker 2: I taught five, I felt like I had the flu. 591 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:17,520 Speaker 2: And what was happening was the people who were my 592 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:21,920 Speaker 2: number one, my children and my husband were getting the 593 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:25,719 Speaker 2: least of me, and I was giving perfect strangers like 594 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:27,040 Speaker 2: my best. 595 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:34,000 Speaker 1: They got my best. This is me, yes, I feel 596 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:35,000 Speaker 1: this in my bone. 597 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,120 Speaker 2: And then my kids and my husband got what was 598 00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:45,240 Speaker 2: left over, and I had to learn how. 599 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,280 Speaker 1: To give. 600 00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:56,720 Speaker 2: To my number ones and create a schedule that allowed 601 00:42:56,840 --> 00:43:00,640 Speaker 2: me to be the best coach possible but also be 602 00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:04,239 Speaker 2: the best mom and wife possible. And that took me 603 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,680 Speaker 2: down to, oh, maybe I can only do this once 604 00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:12,560 Speaker 2: a day, maybe I can only do this every other day, 605 00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,840 Speaker 2: which wasn't good for the company, but it was what 606 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:21,520 Speaker 2: I needed to be my best for my number ones. 607 00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,240 Speaker 2: And you so you learn that. And so now Jerome 608 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,520 Speaker 2: and I have a great understanding. We'll go out to 609 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:31,040 Speaker 2: an event and like he can kiki all night with 610 00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:34,520 Speaker 2: randoms and have just small talk and just love it. 611 00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,680 Speaker 2: And I start off tough. I start off tough, and 612 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,680 Speaker 2: then when it's done, it's done, and we know, we know, 613 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:43,279 Speaker 2: and he's like he has my back. 614 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:48,319 Speaker 1: I love that, and it's it's like that's why I'm 615 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:52,920 Speaker 1: laughing because people think I'm so, oh, yeah, you're out here. 616 00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:56,480 Speaker 1: You can get a conversation with anyone, this extrovert. And 617 00:43:56,560 --> 00:44:02,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, you don't wear ye. 618 00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:04,840 Speaker 2: I'm gonna sit here and do it because I do 619 00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,560 Speaker 2: love you. I do love you. But it's it's it 620 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,399 Speaker 2: pulls from a different, Like some people get energy from 621 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:16,440 Speaker 2: people and some people have to get their energy to 622 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:21,000 Speaker 2: be with people. And it's all love. It's all love. 623 00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:25,360 Speaker 2: I just energetically, I feel depleted at the end of 624 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:27,480 Speaker 2: Sam and I have those interactions. 625 00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:30,000 Speaker 1: I agree, And I think that's the hardest part about 626 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,960 Speaker 1: showing up in the spaces and ways we actually do. 627 00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,680 Speaker 1: And that's why I say it's a beautiful gift, but 628 00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,840 Speaker 1: it also can be a curse. Where's you're out, Oh gosh, 629 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,719 Speaker 1: stay tuned. I'll be back in just a moment after 630 00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:53,520 Speaker 1: this brief message from our sponsors. So talk to me 631 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:59,680 Speaker 1: about your your boys two. They are so handsome there, 632 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:05,880 Speaker 1: so smart, They're so dope. They are so smart, so successful. 633 00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:07,960 Speaker 2: So successful. I'm just proud to be their mom. I 634 00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:12,560 Speaker 2: was like, how did this happen? Like sometimes I just 635 00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:14,719 Speaker 2: look at them and be like, and I'll just tell 636 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,399 Speaker 2: him I can't believe I get to be your mom. 637 00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:18,520 Speaker 2: I can't believe I get to be your mom. 638 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:23,640 Speaker 1: They're just dope, They're dope. It is the greatest title, 639 00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:28,960 Speaker 1: isn't it It? Being mom is probably and we've won 640 00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:34,080 Speaker 1: some things in our day. It is the greatest title 641 00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:35,120 Speaker 1: of my life. 642 00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:40,759 Speaker 2: Right. Also, the hardest, literally, because they can be brats too. 643 00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:44,800 Speaker 2: Like my eighteen year old, I'm just like, you know what, 644 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:51,920 Speaker 2: Like he's at that age where he's still so dependent 645 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:56,080 Speaker 2: on us, but like swears he knows everything, and so 646 00:45:56,239 --> 00:46:02,759 Speaker 2: you almost every day just want to like like headlock him, 647 00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:08,439 Speaker 2: like no, you don't, no, you don't know. But he's 648 00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:16,480 Speaker 2: also so freaking great and like integral and like honest, 649 00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:19,080 Speaker 2: and he's a good human. 650 00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,719 Speaker 1: You know, it must be hard for you that he's 651 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,360 Speaker 1: in Philly. So if most people don't know he is 652 00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:32,359 Speaker 1: exceptional at soccer, Yeah, playing in the Philadelphia Union. 653 00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,880 Speaker 2: System, I mean he is. 654 00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:39,200 Speaker 1: He's stealing the show. 655 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:43,680 Speaker 2: He's freaking dough. He's like he had fourteen goals this season, 656 00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:51,920 Speaker 2: he led the team. He Yeah. So now we're at 657 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:54,200 Speaker 2: a little crossroad where he's trying to figure out like 658 00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:57,080 Speaker 2: what to do and where to go. He wants to 659 00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:02,520 Speaker 2: go overseas and play. He wants more development and you know, 660 00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:05,880 Speaker 2: more tools in his toolbox as far as like that's concerned, 661 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,960 Speaker 2: and so we're trying to figure it out. He's still 662 00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:14,000 Speaker 2: like doesn't do his own laundry that great, Like doesn't 663 00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:17,640 Speaker 2: like feed himself that great. So then there's all that stuff. 664 00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:21,840 Speaker 2: He finally got his driver's license at eighteen. Oh my gosh, 665 00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,720 Speaker 2: and he got pulled over for the first time yesterday. 666 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:28,560 Speaker 2: It was terrifying. Yes, of course I was terrifying. It 667 00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:30,480 Speaker 2: was so crazy. It was actually two days ago. He 668 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:34,000 Speaker 2: got pulled over for the first time, and I was like, 669 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:41,600 Speaker 2: I freaked out. And I was just like, I was 670 00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:43,840 Speaker 2: talking to my friend Tony because I remember during COVID 671 00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:45,960 Speaker 2: my friend Tony got pulled over and he had like 672 00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:49,239 Speaker 2: a real crazy reaction to it and like freaked out. 673 00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,480 Speaker 2: And it was not long after all the George Floyd stuff, 674 00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:54,879 Speaker 2: and so I was like, Tony, you need to talk 675 00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:58,560 Speaker 2: to him. He needs to obey the laws of the land. 676 00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:02,800 Speaker 2: And I'm like, do and all this like high ground parenting. 677 00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:07,719 Speaker 2: And my friend Tony said to me, which was so profound, 678 00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:13,279 Speaker 2: he said, Angela like, and so he can obey the 679 00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:17,520 Speaker 2: laws of the land. I was like, over, as a 680 00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:23,920 Speaker 2: black man, you need okay. So I'm obsessed with my kids. 681 00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:31,920 Speaker 2: I love my kids. I have tremendous, well behaved, phenomenal 682 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:36,480 Speaker 2: athlete children. But as a mom of two black boys, 683 00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:43,080 Speaker 2: I have different concerns. Yes, you know, I'm ting I 684 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:49,200 Speaker 2: you know, I know what you're talking about, and I 685 00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:55,160 Speaker 2: come from privilege, white privilege, and it is scary to 686 00:48:55,400 --> 00:49:03,959 Speaker 2: raise a black child in this landscape, and this black 687 00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:09,080 Speaker 2: child that will never know your privilege like you will 688 00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:16,160 Speaker 2: give them your privilege in the sense of economically, but 689 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:20,719 Speaker 2: they will never the world will never ever look at them, 690 00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:25,560 Speaker 2: look at your child in the same lens that they 691 00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:33,200 Speaker 2: look at you ever ever. And I understood that after 692 00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:40,120 Speaker 2: Trayvon Martin when we were at a friend's house, one 693 00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:43,239 Speaker 2: of my white friends, and I was actually one of 694 00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:45,400 Speaker 2: the only black people there now that I think about it, 695 00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:48,440 Speaker 2: me and Jerome and my kids, but their kids were there. 696 00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:52,759 Speaker 2: It was a pool party and it was starting the 697 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:58,480 Speaker 2: sun was starting to go down, and my son went 698 00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:01,399 Speaker 2: and put on his little school hoodie at that time, 699 00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:04,880 Speaker 2: he was in elementary school and he had the hood on. 700 00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:08,480 Speaker 2: And I'll never forget. We're all sitting out in the 701 00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:12,040 Speaker 2: backyard at this time, like maybe just eating or something, 702 00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:16,160 Speaker 2: all at the tables, and my son comes from around 703 00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:20,160 Speaker 2: the corner. Now, the last time I saw me out 704 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,640 Speaker 2: on his swim trunks. Now he comes around the corner 705 00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:25,600 Speaker 2: and he has on his hoodie with his hood on, 706 00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:34,560 Speaker 2: and my heart sank and I realized at that moment 707 00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:41,840 Speaker 2: people may not ever know how wonderful and kind and sweet. 708 00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:49,080 Speaker 2: They will just look at this like Trayvon, this young 709 00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,800 Speaker 2: black boy with his hood on and his skittles, and 710 00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:52,520 Speaker 2: like just. 711 00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:55,759 Speaker 1: That. 712 00:50:57,280 --> 00:51:03,879 Speaker 2: I immediately had this check and I was like, Oh, 713 00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:08,400 Speaker 2: it's different. Oh this is different. Yep, Oh this is different, 714 00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:09,880 Speaker 2: and it is. 715 00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:18,759 Speaker 1: Unfortunately because of what has happened and who has been elected. 716 00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:25,000 Speaker 1: I'm terrified for our children. Yeah, and I don't sleep. 717 00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:26,960 Speaker 1: It's hard enough to eat. 718 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:27,880 Speaker 2: It's horrific. 719 00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:32,920 Speaker 1: It is so scary, and it's so out of our 720 00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:38,560 Speaker 1: control in a lot of ways. And as a mom 721 00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:45,680 Speaker 1: raising black children, especially black men, I can only, like 722 00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:49,640 Speaker 1: you said, give them the tools. It's not about getting 723 00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:53,360 Speaker 1: pulled over. It's about getting home. It's about how do 724 00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:56,800 Speaker 1: you get home safe with the tools you've been given 725 00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:01,400 Speaker 1: and the knowledge and how we've raised you. It's still 726 00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:05,480 Speaker 1: sometimes out of their control, scary and scary. 727 00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:06,200 Speaker 2: It's scary. 728 00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:10,560 Speaker 1: And I say this all the time because there is 729 00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:13,040 Speaker 1: so much of my life right now that I'm scared. 730 00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:18,960 Speaker 1: I'm fearful not only being a gay woman for my community, 731 00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:23,040 Speaker 1: but raising two black children who I've adopted through Florida. 732 00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:27,840 Speaker 1: I just don't know what is to come. And it 733 00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:31,759 Speaker 1: is a weird feeling now at thirty nine, living in 734 00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:37,320 Speaker 1: so much fear in twenty twenty four, But it fuels 735 00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:42,120 Speaker 1: me to fight. It fuels me to fight. It fuels 736 00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:46,640 Speaker 1: me to be a connector to reach out to say 737 00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:50,760 Speaker 1: we're not that different. You and I are not that different, 738 00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:57,560 Speaker 1: and to serve this country in ways that we choose 739 00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:01,560 Speaker 1: to do so we can connect people on a level 740 00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:07,320 Speaker 1: that isn't based on what we look like, and that 741 00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:08,120 Speaker 1: is our gift. 742 00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:09,759 Speaker 2: And you know what I'm gonna tell you, And you 743 00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:11,680 Speaker 2: know I'm gonna tell you as a mom. I'm telling 744 00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:17,160 Speaker 2: you as a mom, We're going to have different fears 745 00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:20,239 Speaker 2: and concerns. There's gonna be things that keep us up 746 00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:21,880 Speaker 2: at night, all of that. 747 00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:23,160 Speaker 1: Like I. 748 00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:27,399 Speaker 2: Apologize Mom and Dad for what I put you through. 749 00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:36,400 Speaker 2: However we can have that. We have to protect them 750 00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:37,279 Speaker 2: from living in fear. 751 00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,759 Speaker 1: They need to be free. Yes, they need to live, 752 00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:48,000 Speaker 1: They need to live. I appreciate you coming on, sharing 753 00:53:48,040 --> 00:53:52,799 Speaker 1: your wisdom, sharing your scars. Thank you, sister, and thank 754 00:53:52,880 --> 00:54:00,520 Speaker 1: you for always choosing kindness, for choosing always tell my 755 00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:04,840 Speaker 1: daughter this kindness is currency. And you live it. 756 00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:08,080 Speaker 2: That's right, and you do too. And I am proud 757 00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:14,400 Speaker 2: of you for showing up and holding this kind of 758 00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:20,160 Speaker 2: space for authentic conversations, for allowing us to build community, 759 00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:25,960 Speaker 2: for allowing us to share space and being each other's lives. 760 00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:31,920 Speaker 2: Like I'm proud of you than you as as I 761 00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,640 Speaker 2: understand what this requires for you to even sit here 762 00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:38,440 Speaker 2: and have these conversations. I understand what that requires for you, 763 00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:43,440 Speaker 2: and the fact that you're willing to pay that price. 764 00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:49,719 Speaker 1: Wow, Thank you. I appreciate you being on here. Thank 765 00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:53,120 Speaker 1: you for being so vulnerable, so honest, so wide open. 766 00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:57,200 Speaker 1: Tell everyone what your work. You're the most creative artistic 767 00:54:57,320 --> 00:55:01,440 Speaker 1: person I know, and you're constantly working on things. Let 768 00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:03,560 Speaker 1: everyone know what's going on. 769 00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:09,759 Speaker 2: But So, I have a mantra album right now. I 770 00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:13,360 Speaker 2: only have one song released. It's called I Can Do 771 00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:17,120 Speaker 2: My Life, and I think it's just a beautiful mantra 772 00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:20,360 Speaker 2: that I've created for everyone. You know, you can do 773 00:55:20,680 --> 00:55:22,759 Speaker 2: your life. There's not going to be one obstacle that 774 00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:26,160 Speaker 2: you'll face that you cannot overcome. You can do your life. 775 00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:29,560 Speaker 2: You are equipped to do your life. And so you 776 00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:36,400 Speaker 2: can download that song on Spotify, on Apple Music title 777 00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:39,360 Speaker 2: everywhere where music is. But there is a whole album 778 00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:41,880 Speaker 2: and there is a book coming, so just be on 779 00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:44,040 Speaker 2: the lookout and you can follow me on my Instagram, 780 00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:48,400 Speaker 2: Angela Manuel Davis. And that's it. And I love you 781 00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:54,719 Speaker 2: and you're amazing and keep crushing being you. 782 00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:59,759 Speaker 1: You are perfect. Thank you, you nail it every time 783 00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:12,960 Speaker 1: I'd like, I'm grateful. Wide Open with Ashland Harris is 784 00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,400 Speaker 1: an iHeart women's sports production. You can find us on 785 00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:21,000 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 786 00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:27,360 Speaker 1: Our producers are Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronoff, and Lucy Jones. 787 00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:34,000 Speaker 1: Production assistants from Malia Agudello. Our executive producers are Jesse Katz, 788 00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:38,480 Speaker 1: Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. Our editors are Jenny Kaplan 789 00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:42,040 Speaker 1: and Emily Rudder and I'm your host, Ashlan Harris.