1 00:00:14,836 --> 00:00:29,516 Speaker 1: Pushkin. Hi, I'm Phil Donahue and I'm Marlo Thomas, and 2 00:00:29,636 --> 00:00:32,556 Speaker 1: we're going on a series of double dates to find 3 00:00:32,596 --> 00:00:40,516 Speaker 1: out what makes a marriage last. It's not every day 4 00:00:40,516 --> 00:00:43,276 Speaker 1: that I get to hang out with a former pro quarterback, 5 00:00:43,796 --> 00:00:46,396 Speaker 1: so I was pretty excited when we met up with 6 00:00:46,556 --> 00:00:50,276 Speaker 1: Rodney and Holly Robinson Pete. I knew you'd be happy 7 00:00:50,276 --> 00:00:53,516 Speaker 1: to talk to a real NFL champ, and Holly has 8 00:00:53,556 --> 00:00:57,036 Speaker 1: had success in so many TV shows. They're a classic 9 00:00:57,156 --> 00:00:59,596 Speaker 1: power couple. All I had to do was set the 10 00:00:59,676 --> 00:01:03,716 Speaker 1: levels on the recorder and it was game time. Okay, 11 00:01:03,876 --> 00:01:06,676 Speaker 1: So so Rodney, will you go first? Will you on 12 00:01:06,716 --> 00:01:09,676 Speaker 1: the radio? Have a pretty good part? Turned into my 13 00:01:09,756 --> 00:01:16,756 Speaker 1: radio voice right now? Ye, Rodney pot as, We're not 14 00:01:16,756 --> 00:01:21,556 Speaker 1: gonna have any of us. She's the gradgerator, that's got it. 15 00:01:21,996 --> 00:01:24,436 Speaker 1: You got a great boy. We started off talking about 16 00:01:24,436 --> 00:01:27,476 Speaker 1: their wedding, which Holly told us was a fantastic affair, 17 00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:30,996 Speaker 1: and the ceremony was presided over by my old pal 18 00:01:31,196 --> 00:01:36,476 Speaker 1: from my Chicago days, none other than the Reverend Jesse Jackson. Yes, 19 00:01:36,756 --> 00:01:38,996 Speaker 1: he was like a kind of a godfather and uncle, 20 00:01:39,076 --> 00:01:41,396 Speaker 1: if you will. And so he took you out for 21 00:01:41,436 --> 00:01:44,916 Speaker 1: a ride before he took us for a ride and 22 00:01:45,036 --> 00:01:48,196 Speaker 1: he essentially just started counseling us. So we thought we 23 00:01:48,196 --> 00:01:53,036 Speaker 1: were going to get this really awesome counseling moment. And 24 00:01:53,076 --> 00:01:59,276 Speaker 1: he said, a y'all, like, it's ready for this, because 25 00:01:59,276 --> 00:02:02,516 Speaker 1: this is no joke, this married thing. Jackie and I 26 00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:05,756 Speaker 1: have been married for decades and you got to really 27 00:02:05,756 --> 00:02:09,716 Speaker 1: be ready. And we said, we think we're ready. How 28 00:02:09,756 --> 00:02:13,076 Speaker 1: old were you? How old were you? I was twenty 29 00:02:13,156 --> 00:02:16,836 Speaker 1: nine at the time, I was thirty one. Yeah, so 30 00:02:16,956 --> 00:02:19,676 Speaker 1: you were You were not babies. That's good now, now 31 00:02:19,676 --> 00:02:22,476 Speaker 1: we didn't. Thank god we weren't because that helped. Yeah, 32 00:02:22,516 --> 00:02:28,556 Speaker 1: because had we I think met and started dating in 33 00:02:28,676 --> 00:02:33,556 Speaker 1: early twenties, Um, we wouldn't be here today. As Holly 34 00:02:33,636 --> 00:02:41,116 Speaker 1: likes to say, um I was you were saluously challenged? 35 00:02:41,236 --> 00:02:46,276 Speaker 1: Is whatsly challenge? Yes? Yes, he was dating someone and 36 00:02:46,516 --> 00:02:54,196 Speaker 1: I was dating everyone. Well, I mean, come on, NFL quarterbacks, 37 00:02:55,076 --> 00:02:58,596 Speaker 1: you got to experience the whole thing, right, I mean 38 00:02:58,756 --> 00:03:02,076 Speaker 1: how many minions young men go to bed every night 39 00:03:02,156 --> 00:03:05,396 Speaker 1: saying oh I wish that was a quarterback and the NFL. 40 00:03:05,716 --> 00:03:07,436 Speaker 1: So you know, I had to find out what that 41 00:03:07,516 --> 00:03:11,956 Speaker 1: was like. So how to do How did your favorite girl. 42 00:03:14,876 --> 00:03:18,396 Speaker 1: I was very unimpressed with the whole idea of dating 43 00:03:18,436 --> 00:03:21,636 Speaker 1: a quarterback. When he was drafted and when he was 44 00:03:21,676 --> 00:03:24,116 Speaker 1: a big star at USC, he was sort of off 45 00:03:24,196 --> 00:03:27,436 Speaker 1: my radar. There were only a handful of black quarterbacks 46 00:03:27,436 --> 00:03:31,036 Speaker 1: then in this time period, um and so he was 47 00:03:31,116 --> 00:03:33,676 Speaker 1: kind of on my radar because I remember my dad saying, oh, 48 00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:36,996 Speaker 1: this this guy had a dad was a big football fan, 49 00:03:37,156 --> 00:03:41,356 Speaker 1: mainly Eagles, but big football fan and certainly a proponent 50 00:03:41,396 --> 00:03:43,676 Speaker 1: of black quarterback. So whenever there was one that was 51 00:03:43,716 --> 00:03:45,636 Speaker 1: making waves, and Ridey was on the cover of Sports 52 00:03:45,676 --> 00:03:49,076 Speaker 1: Illustrated when he was at USC, he was like, you 53 00:03:49,116 --> 00:03:51,236 Speaker 1: know about this guy Rodney Pete, And I was like, run, 54 00:03:51,716 --> 00:03:54,676 Speaker 1: I was dating someone at the time, but he was 55 00:03:55,396 --> 00:04:02,276 Speaker 1: really he was. This guy wasn't the smartest he wasn't 56 00:04:02,156 --> 00:04:05,756 Speaker 1: the sharpest tool in the shed. He was I'm sort 57 00:04:05,756 --> 00:04:07,716 Speaker 1: of I think of myself as a worldly person that 58 00:04:07,756 --> 00:04:09,716 Speaker 1: I went to Sarah Lawrence and I had a junior 59 00:04:09,756 --> 00:04:13,396 Speaker 1: year in Paris, and he was definitely not on my level. 60 00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:15,876 Speaker 1: When I wanted you to go to Vietnam with me, 61 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:20,276 Speaker 1: he asked, wasn't there still a war going on in Vietnam? Oh? Great, Yeah, 62 00:04:20,276 --> 00:04:22,996 Speaker 1: this is what I'm talking about. So, but the idea 63 00:04:23,116 --> 00:04:27,156 Speaker 1: of dating of a quarterback was what the last thing? 64 00:04:28,356 --> 00:04:31,716 Speaker 1: On paper? It sounds very sexy. How did you meet? 65 00:04:33,836 --> 00:04:36,276 Speaker 1: We met at a It was an R and B 66 00:04:36,836 --> 00:04:40,876 Speaker 1: kind of dinner club kind of thing, and and so 67 00:04:41,036 --> 00:04:43,396 Speaker 1: we were happening to be sitting and it was one 68 00:04:43,396 --> 00:04:46,116 Speaker 1: of those community tables. So I was with my friend 69 00:04:46,116 --> 00:04:48,796 Speaker 1: and she was who you were with your la, and 70 00:04:48,876 --> 00:04:53,516 Speaker 1: so we sat together and listened to music. And I 71 00:04:53,916 --> 00:04:56,396 Speaker 1: instantly because I knew who she was, but instantly was 72 00:04:56,476 --> 00:04:58,556 Speaker 1: even more attracted to her when I got to talk 73 00:04:58,596 --> 00:05:01,716 Speaker 1: to her and know her. And then she began to eat. 74 00:05:02,076 --> 00:05:06,036 Speaker 1: She ordered a big plate of French fries and doused 75 00:05:06,036 --> 00:05:08,516 Speaker 1: it with ketchup and then put hot sauce on top 76 00:05:08,556 --> 00:05:10,676 Speaker 1: of that. And I was like, okay, this is a 77 00:05:10,716 --> 00:05:13,556 Speaker 1: girl likes to let her hair down. And so here 78 00:05:13,636 --> 00:05:16,236 Speaker 1: was this nice setup, the perfect get to know you. 79 00:05:16,676 --> 00:05:21,036 Speaker 1: But Holly wasn't exactly feeling the vibe. At least Rodney did, 80 00:05:21,596 --> 00:05:24,796 Speaker 1: and fortunately for him, the two of them had a 81 00:05:24,876 --> 00:05:28,396 Speaker 1: mutual friend. And she said, I really like this guy 82 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,516 Speaker 1: for you. I hate this guy you're dating, and I 83 00:05:30,676 --> 00:05:33,236 Speaker 1: really need you to stop sitting around waiting for him 84 00:05:33,276 --> 00:05:36,156 Speaker 1: to paid. You get put on your daisy dukes. We're 85 00:05:36,156 --> 00:05:39,196 Speaker 1: going to Rodney Peace's house for a pool party and 86 00:05:39,236 --> 00:05:41,036 Speaker 1: I was like, who. She said, that guy you saw 87 00:05:41,076 --> 00:05:43,236 Speaker 1: at the R and B Club. You need to go. 88 00:05:43,356 --> 00:05:46,236 Speaker 1: Let's go see him. I was like whatever. Turns out 89 00:05:46,276 --> 00:05:49,596 Speaker 1: he was only literally a five minute drive from my house. 90 00:05:49,676 --> 00:05:52,636 Speaker 1: I said, well, that's interesting. So we go to the party. 91 00:05:52,956 --> 00:05:56,236 Speaker 1: Nothing but girls lined up against the wall and a 92 00:05:56,236 --> 00:05:59,316 Speaker 1: lot and very few guys. So I was like, okay, 93 00:05:59,436 --> 00:06:01,636 Speaker 1: where is there something to eat? Again? Me eating? So 94 00:06:02,036 --> 00:06:04,796 Speaker 1: we grabbed a brisket off the barbecue. We ate it 95 00:06:04,836 --> 00:06:09,516 Speaker 1: and then we left, and about half an hour later, 96 00:06:09,596 --> 00:06:12,556 Speaker 1: there was a knock on my door. I remember only 97 00:06:12,596 --> 00:06:15,116 Speaker 1: the fight, and it was rodding me. I opened the 98 00:06:15,116 --> 00:06:16,716 Speaker 1: door and there was riding me with all these teeth, 99 00:06:16,836 --> 00:06:19,996 Speaker 1: just smiling at me, and he was like, I said, 100 00:06:20,036 --> 00:06:21,756 Speaker 1: don't you have a party going on at your house? 101 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,756 Speaker 1: He said, well, when you left, the party was over. 102 00:06:24,156 --> 00:06:34,316 Speaker 1: Oh what a good So I was like okay. So 103 00:06:34,756 --> 00:06:36,916 Speaker 1: that's when I really decided to give him a shot. 104 00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:42,156 Speaker 1: And we really, with the exception of maybe two or 105 00:06:42,196 --> 00:06:47,476 Speaker 1: three awkward moments, have not ever been apart since. And 106 00:06:47,556 --> 00:06:51,036 Speaker 1: that was twenty six years ago. Wow, yeah, so we 107 00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:53,116 Speaker 1: you know, we had a couple ups and downs and moments. 108 00:06:53,116 --> 00:06:56,396 Speaker 1: We've never really broken up. And but the litmus test 109 00:06:56,636 --> 00:07:00,036 Speaker 1: was will he travel with me? When I asked Riddy 110 00:07:00,076 --> 00:07:02,876 Speaker 1: to go to Indonesia and Southeast Asia with me and 111 00:07:02,916 --> 00:07:07,036 Speaker 1: he said yes, I thought, okay, this this might be 112 00:07:07,156 --> 00:07:09,636 Speaker 1: something I did want to go and try. I like, 113 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:13,196 Speaker 1: really traveled by a big geography and history guy, and 114 00:07:13,276 --> 00:07:15,756 Speaker 1: so I always wanted to travel, but I never could 115 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:20,676 Speaker 1: really find people that wanted to be that kind of adventurous. 116 00:07:20,716 --> 00:07:23,396 Speaker 1: It was, hey, man, let's go, let's go to Japan. 117 00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:25,436 Speaker 1: This when I got downe with football, like let's go 118 00:07:25,436 --> 00:07:27,796 Speaker 1: to Japan, or let's go let's go to Italy, or 119 00:07:27,876 --> 00:07:30,636 Speaker 1: let's go somewhere else South America. And the group of 120 00:07:30,676 --> 00:07:32,756 Speaker 1: friends that I had close groups, no, let's just go 121 00:07:32,796 --> 00:07:34,716 Speaker 1: back to Hawaii and play some golf, or let's go 122 00:07:35,076 --> 00:07:38,996 Speaker 1: let's go to Mexico or or Cancoon or something like that. 123 00:07:39,116 --> 00:07:43,516 Speaker 1: It was never really stuff, really like really exotic type 124 00:07:43,516 --> 00:07:46,156 Speaker 1: of traveling, even though I wanted to. It just always 125 00:07:46,196 --> 00:07:49,316 Speaker 1: gave into the people I was with around and it 126 00:07:49,356 --> 00:07:52,356 Speaker 1: was just an easy thing to do. But that's that 127 00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:56,316 Speaker 1: time when you said he was monogamously challenged? Yeah, how 128 00:07:56,316 --> 00:07:59,236 Speaker 1: did you get past that? I had to literally, like 129 00:07:59,316 --> 00:08:01,796 Speaker 1: remember that song the clean up Woman. Yeah, I had 130 00:08:01,796 --> 00:08:03,556 Speaker 1: to be the clean up woman. I had to go 131 00:08:03,636 --> 00:08:06,036 Speaker 1: in and the thing was he was allowing me. So 132 00:08:06,076 --> 00:08:10,036 Speaker 1: when people girls would call or try to come over, 133 00:08:10,796 --> 00:08:14,516 Speaker 1: I had to say, he is now officially unavailable, like 134 00:08:15,076 --> 00:08:17,716 Speaker 1: no more rotten on that, Rodney Pete, that mister Gregaria 135 00:08:17,796 --> 00:08:20,396 Speaker 1: is the guy that given all the parties. He's dead. 136 00:08:20,996 --> 00:08:24,836 Speaker 1: Did you lie into that Rodney her cleaning up? Yeah? 137 00:08:24,916 --> 00:08:28,076 Speaker 1: It was, Yeah, I did, because I really liked her. Um, 138 00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:32,436 Speaker 1: but it was it was uncomfortable at times, I would say, 139 00:08:32,956 --> 00:08:39,716 Speaker 1: because I think I had a certain way of living 140 00:08:39,836 --> 00:08:44,356 Speaker 1: and I was comfortable living that way, um, not realizing 141 00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:48,476 Speaker 1: that I really need needed to change because my place 142 00:08:48,516 --> 00:08:52,516 Speaker 1: and my my world was I had a lot of 143 00:08:52,516 --> 00:08:54,916 Speaker 1: male friends would like to go hang out. My place 144 00:08:54,996 --> 00:08:58,196 Speaker 1: was the meeting place. It was like everyone would come 145 00:08:58,236 --> 00:09:00,236 Speaker 1: to my house before we go to dinner or go out, 146 00:09:00,276 --> 00:09:02,836 Speaker 1: and then we would end up back at my house afterwards. 147 00:09:02,836 --> 00:09:08,356 Speaker 1: And and so I was like central always Rodney's house, 148 00:09:08,476 --> 00:09:12,236 Speaker 1: my house. Yeah, your folks were like that in Beverly Hill. 149 00:09:12,436 --> 00:09:16,356 Speaker 1: Yeah for the comics. Yea. The party was always happening there, 150 00:09:16,476 --> 00:09:18,956 Speaker 1: but the cool house, and I had to kind of 151 00:09:18,996 --> 00:09:22,676 Speaker 1: like say to him, now, you got to make up 152 00:09:22,716 --> 00:09:25,196 Speaker 1: your mind what you want here, because it's not going 153 00:09:25,276 --> 00:09:29,436 Speaker 1: to be this gray area for me. I was working, 154 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:34,796 Speaker 1: self sustaining, you know, woman, and if he wanted me 155 00:09:34,956 --> 00:09:38,316 Speaker 1: and not your typical NFL wife, and by that I 156 00:09:38,356 --> 00:09:40,676 Speaker 1: mean someone who basically picks up and goes to the 157 00:09:40,756 --> 00:09:43,436 Speaker 1: NFL city and takes care of their man all day long. 158 00:09:43,556 --> 00:09:46,156 Speaker 1: I wasn't going to be that person. And I couldn't 159 00:09:46,236 --> 00:09:48,836 Speaker 1: run around and try to just police him all the time. 160 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:53,476 Speaker 1: So the little parties had to stop. Like these these 161 00:09:53,516 --> 00:09:57,196 Speaker 1: parties had to go. I never really broke things off 162 00:09:57,236 --> 00:10:00,276 Speaker 1: with girls I dated or girlfriends. Yeah, he always left 163 00:10:00,356 --> 00:10:03,196 Speaker 1: the door just a little bit of jar, just a 164 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:06,196 Speaker 1: little bit of space, and that that that gray area 165 00:10:06,316 --> 00:10:09,796 Speaker 1: wasn't working. Definitely not working, bless you. Deep down inside, 166 00:10:09,836 --> 00:10:12,196 Speaker 1: that's what I wanted. I wanted. I did not want 167 00:10:12,556 --> 00:10:17,796 Speaker 1: that the woman that I would eventually marry to have 168 00:10:18,036 --> 00:10:20,516 Speaker 1: an identity that was attached to mine. I wanted her 169 00:10:20,596 --> 00:10:22,956 Speaker 1: to have her own world and have her own things, 170 00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:25,876 Speaker 1: and have her own career and not be that one 171 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:29,476 Speaker 1: that's waiting for me to come home, going, okay, home 172 00:10:29,556 --> 00:10:31,756 Speaker 1: now yeah we're you know, what do we do now? 173 00:10:31,836 --> 00:10:34,236 Speaker 1: And kind of thing. I didn't. I didn't really want that. 174 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:38,916 Speaker 1: So that was another thing that I That was another 175 00:10:38,956 --> 00:10:43,396 Speaker 1: thing that excited me about Hollay that she could, I guess, 176 00:10:44,596 --> 00:10:46,436 Speaker 1: pick up and leave at any time and be good 177 00:10:46,436 --> 00:10:49,836 Speaker 1: with it and didn't need me. And when did you 178 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:54,996 Speaker 1: know he was the one? I think I knew he 179 00:10:55,116 --> 00:10:57,516 Speaker 1: was one when he didn't put up a fight when 180 00:10:57,516 --> 00:11:00,476 Speaker 1: I was kicking all those girls out of his life. 181 00:11:01,596 --> 00:11:06,996 Speaker 1: I mean I was going through drawers, checking phone records. 182 00:11:07,436 --> 00:11:10,556 Speaker 1: Really yeah, my parents had a terrible divorce. I had 183 00:11:10,596 --> 00:11:13,316 Speaker 1: this vision, vision of being married for my whole life, 184 00:11:15,116 --> 00:11:17,196 Speaker 1: and I just wanted to make sure he was telling 185 00:11:17,196 --> 00:11:19,316 Speaker 1: me the truth and being honest with me. How old 186 00:11:19,316 --> 00:11:21,436 Speaker 1: were you when your parents go to divorce? Like around 187 00:11:21,516 --> 00:11:26,276 Speaker 1: six seven? Yeah? And what about your parents marriage? Fifty 188 00:11:26,356 --> 00:11:31,476 Speaker 1: four years? Really? Yeah? Still going? Ah wow? So that's 189 00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:34,636 Speaker 1: what I wanted. And I loved that he had this marriage, 190 00:11:34,636 --> 00:11:39,196 Speaker 1: this mom and dad that you know together forever, So 191 00:11:39,356 --> 00:11:42,276 Speaker 1: you knew? So I knew when I knew when I 192 00:11:42,316 --> 00:11:44,956 Speaker 1: saw him not resisting me. He's allowing me to do 193 00:11:45,036 --> 00:11:48,196 Speaker 1: my thing. I think he understood early what I needed 194 00:11:48,596 --> 00:11:50,996 Speaker 1: to feel comfortable, and he allowed me to do it right. 195 00:11:51,116 --> 00:11:52,956 Speaker 1: And when I saw that he wouldn't you know, he 196 00:11:52,996 --> 00:11:55,676 Speaker 1: didn't shut me down, I thought, wow, he's he must 197 00:11:55,676 --> 00:11:58,716 Speaker 1: be pretty serious about this. But that was the male 198 00:11:58,756 --> 00:12:02,916 Speaker 1: behavior you were accustomed to, wit I was accustomed to 199 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:09,276 Speaker 1: witnessing guys try to push back on me, you know, 200 00:12:09,636 --> 00:12:13,236 Speaker 1: trying to get them to be monogamous. They were very 201 00:12:13,396 --> 00:12:15,996 Speaker 1: they were very intimidated and threatened by me because I'm 202 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:18,876 Speaker 1: a strong woman who does my own thing. And not 203 00:12:18,996 --> 00:12:21,236 Speaker 1: many of you guys who are you know, not many 204 00:12:21,236 --> 00:12:23,356 Speaker 1: of you, the Phils and the Rodneys of the world, 205 00:12:23,756 --> 00:12:27,756 Speaker 1: are comfortable with with strong women who are independent. To 206 00:12:27,916 --> 00:12:30,476 Speaker 1: some people, that's a threat and not an exciting thing. 207 00:12:30,596 --> 00:12:33,876 Speaker 1: For Rodney, that was a plus. But you're perfect for 208 00:12:33,996 --> 00:12:39,436 Speaker 1: a quarterback. I mean really, you know you cannot be 209 00:12:40,036 --> 00:12:44,756 Speaker 1: a shy little bird married to an NFL quarterback. I 210 00:12:44,796 --> 00:12:47,036 Speaker 1: don't think that works well. You have a lot of 211 00:12:47,036 --> 00:12:50,836 Speaker 1: guys want that. They do, Yeah, they don't want the 212 00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:53,916 Speaker 1: shy bird, do they? A lot of them do they want? 213 00:12:53,956 --> 00:12:56,556 Speaker 1: You know, this is my time, But to Phil's point, 214 00:12:56,716 --> 00:12:59,276 Speaker 1: when you are the quarterback's wife, you gotta kind of 215 00:12:59,276 --> 00:13:03,036 Speaker 1: be a first lady. H You have to organize things. 216 00:13:03,556 --> 00:13:05,156 Speaker 1: You got to speak for the you know, you have 217 00:13:05,196 --> 00:13:08,076 Speaker 1: to take care of the receiver's wives. The offensive line 218 00:13:08,116 --> 00:13:11,916 Speaker 1: wise got to be Switzerland with everyone. You gotta really 219 00:13:11,956 --> 00:13:15,996 Speaker 1: be You've got to really be on your game. It's 220 00:13:16,076 --> 00:13:19,676 Speaker 1: not just stand there and look pretty. The life of 221 00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,636 Speaker 1: the life of a quarterback's wife is not easy, especially 222 00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:25,796 Speaker 1: in Philadelphia. You have to have a thick skin. And um, 223 00:13:25,876 --> 00:13:28,436 Speaker 1: he did choose the right person. So we would, you know, 224 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:30,796 Speaker 1: we we would do a lot too. We were good team. 225 00:13:30,996 --> 00:13:35,756 Speaker 1: One time that she she kind of what got involved 226 00:13:35,796 --> 00:13:38,036 Speaker 1: in a little dispute when they were bad mouthing me 227 00:13:38,116 --> 00:13:42,916 Speaker 1: a little bit, well, the media. We had had a 228 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:45,596 Speaker 1: bad game and everybody was coming down to me and 229 00:13:45,876 --> 00:13:51,836 Speaker 1: they were blasphemy, blasphemy, and so this one decides to 230 00:13:51,876 --> 00:13:55,476 Speaker 1: call in to the radio station for you, but disguise 231 00:13:55,516 --> 00:13:59,396 Speaker 1: her voice. Oh, like, tell these guys you don't know 232 00:13:59,436 --> 00:14:02,316 Speaker 1: what you're talking about. And she was being way too 233 00:14:02,356 --> 00:14:06,316 Speaker 1: specific because she was defending me so hard that and 234 00:14:06,396 --> 00:14:09,636 Speaker 1: they totally made me, Yeah, they did. Those were tough, 235 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:15,436 Speaker 1: tough tough days. Yeah, we'll have more. After a quick break, 236 00:14:27,276 --> 00:14:32,276 Speaker 1: we're back to our conversation with Rodney Pete and Holly Robinson. 237 00:14:32,356 --> 00:14:36,636 Speaker 1: Pete and Marlow wanted to know about their biggest challenge 238 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:40,396 Speaker 1: as a couple. The big giant challenge came when RJ 239 00:14:40,596 --> 00:14:43,756 Speaker 1: got diagnosed with autism. So when he was three and 240 00:14:43,796 --> 00:14:47,236 Speaker 1: he got diagnosed, that was the kick in the gut. 241 00:14:48,276 --> 00:14:51,876 Speaker 1: Like that, to this day, I'm not sure how we 242 00:14:51,956 --> 00:14:57,916 Speaker 1: survived that because there was blame and denial, and you know, 243 00:14:58,076 --> 00:15:00,596 Speaker 1: I when I found out we got the diagnosis, you know, 244 00:15:01,316 --> 00:15:03,796 Speaker 1: I went to books and I started dog earring pages 245 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:07,996 Speaker 1: and highlighting passages, just trying to turn kid for him. 246 00:15:08,036 --> 00:15:09,676 Speaker 1: And then I would go by the he was playing 247 00:15:10,196 --> 00:15:13,316 Speaker 1: for the Raiders, and I would go to Oakland and 248 00:15:13,356 --> 00:15:15,516 Speaker 1: I'll look under the bed and there was the whole 249 00:15:15,556 --> 00:15:18,716 Speaker 1: package that I sent with all the highlighted passages, not 250 00:15:18,796 --> 00:15:23,316 Speaker 1: even opened. He didn't even look at it because he's 251 00:15:23,316 --> 00:15:25,716 Speaker 1: in denial. Yeah, he didn't want he didn't want to 252 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:28,036 Speaker 1: deal with the fact we didn't know what autism was. 253 00:15:28,476 --> 00:15:31,676 Speaker 1: This lady sat down across from us, this developmental pediatrician, 254 00:15:31,716 --> 00:15:34,756 Speaker 1: told us everything our son would never be. He won't speak, 255 00:15:34,796 --> 00:15:37,476 Speaker 1: he won't go to mainstream school, he won't play sports. 256 00:15:38,316 --> 00:15:40,716 Speaker 1: It made Rodney crazy. It made him feel you know, 257 00:15:41,156 --> 00:15:43,996 Speaker 1: she told us what this three year old would never 258 00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:48,876 Speaker 1: be and it was just the most horrible, awful, horrible thing. 259 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:52,836 Speaker 1: And then you start blaming each other. You're like, we 260 00:15:52,876 --> 00:15:55,076 Speaker 1: don't know why he got this thing. We don't know 261 00:15:55,116 --> 00:15:57,956 Speaker 1: what autism is. He has a twin sister, you know, 262 00:15:58,036 --> 00:16:00,676 Speaker 1: and he wasn't hitting the milestones that she was hitting. 263 00:16:00,676 --> 00:16:03,196 Speaker 1: At the same time. There were no signs of anything 264 00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:07,436 Speaker 1: with her. No but crazy. When they went in for 265 00:16:07,516 --> 00:16:11,836 Speaker 1: the diagnosis, for the evaluation, she mimicked him the whole time. 266 00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:15,076 Speaker 1: She was like, you're I'm going You're going down. I'm 267 00:16:15,156 --> 00:16:18,596 Speaker 1: going down. And they came back to us with diagnosis. 268 00:16:18,636 --> 00:16:21,316 Speaker 1: They're both on the spectrum. We're like, what her to? 269 00:16:22,236 --> 00:16:25,356 Speaker 1: No way? And then oh, yes, yes, she's doing everything. 270 00:16:25,436 --> 00:16:28,156 Speaker 1: She's she's flapping and stemming and turning and twirling and 271 00:16:28,516 --> 00:16:30,876 Speaker 1: not making eye contact. And then when she came out 272 00:16:30,916 --> 00:16:32,996 Speaker 1: and this this is a three year old, right, And 273 00:16:33,556 --> 00:16:36,716 Speaker 1: we didn't realize until later that she was mimicking him 274 00:16:36,876 --> 00:16:39,676 Speaker 1: to let him know that she was with him. She 275 00:16:39,796 --> 00:16:42,756 Speaker 1: was not She's not on the spectrum. She's, you know, 276 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:50,396 Speaker 1: a normal, typical kid, but she oh, yeah, it was rough. 277 00:16:51,236 --> 00:16:56,876 Speaker 1: And when you go in and she spends forty minutes 278 00:16:56,876 --> 00:17:01,036 Speaker 1: with your kids and says, he gives you a lifelong diagnosis, 279 00:17:01,076 --> 00:17:04,276 Speaker 1: You're like, well, it was longer than it's like a 280 00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:09,316 Speaker 1: two hour thing. Still two hours, it's still that's short 281 00:17:09,316 --> 00:17:10,556 Speaker 1: a pair of time. You're gonna tell me what my 282 00:17:10,556 --> 00:17:14,116 Speaker 1: son will never do. So that was the beginning of 283 00:17:14,236 --> 00:17:16,996 Speaker 1: when I didn't know, like I always envisioned, Oh, I'm 284 00:17:16,996 --> 00:17:19,796 Speaker 1: gonna have this husband forever. And that was the first 285 00:17:19,836 --> 00:17:23,596 Speaker 1: moment where I was like, he's not getting on board 286 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,996 Speaker 1: with what I need to do. I have to roll 287 00:17:26,116 --> 00:17:31,396 Speaker 1: up my sleeves and become a gangster for this kid. 288 00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:35,236 Speaker 1: Did I cannot worry about Oh, he's not the son 289 00:17:35,276 --> 00:17:36,796 Speaker 1: I dreamed of, and he's not going to play in 290 00:17:36,796 --> 00:17:38,996 Speaker 1: the NFL. He's not gonna win the Heisman Trophy. Like 291 00:17:39,436 --> 00:17:41,396 Speaker 1: the little things that I felt like Rodney was like 292 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:44,796 Speaker 1: obsessing on, although they weren't really those things, but to 293 00:17:44,956 --> 00:17:48,196 Speaker 1: my mind they were. Whenever RJ would come to the games, 294 00:17:48,396 --> 00:17:50,636 Speaker 1: when he would play, all the other football players kids 295 00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,396 Speaker 1: would run around and get autographs and be like, you know, 296 00:17:53,716 --> 00:17:56,196 Speaker 1: into it and connecting, and Argie would be twirling around 297 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:59,156 Speaker 1: in the corner, flapping his hands, you know, not talking 298 00:17:59,196 --> 00:18:03,316 Speaker 1: to anybody, and it was devastating. If I had to 299 00:18:03,356 --> 00:18:06,476 Speaker 1: go back, I would have been nicer and more patient, 300 00:18:06,516 --> 00:18:11,476 Speaker 1: because I understand now that the processing of the diagnosis 301 00:18:11,476 --> 00:18:15,276 Speaker 1: of autism, especially for a dad and his son, is 302 00:18:15,396 --> 00:18:18,556 Speaker 1: much different than it is for a mom. Oh my god. 303 00:18:18,756 --> 00:18:24,396 Speaker 1: Remember we were dealing with bullying at school. There was 304 00:18:24,476 --> 00:18:27,556 Speaker 1: so much going on, and now when you look back, 305 00:18:27,596 --> 00:18:30,796 Speaker 1: I realized that as much as we blamed each other 306 00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:33,196 Speaker 1: or were frustrated with each other about the because I 307 00:18:33,276 --> 00:18:37,076 Speaker 1: was frustrated that Rodney was in denial, and I knew 308 00:18:37,196 --> 00:18:41,196 Speaker 1: that that denial was eating up time and there was 309 00:18:41,236 --> 00:18:45,956 Speaker 1: a small window of time that r J had to 310 00:18:46,236 --> 00:18:50,836 Speaker 1: get his brain right in order to present himself to 311 00:18:50,876 --> 00:18:55,756 Speaker 1: the world, and Rodney was not moving fast enough for me. 312 00:18:56,316 --> 00:18:58,156 Speaker 1: And it was the only time, even with all the 313 00:18:58,476 --> 00:19:01,076 Speaker 1: football teams and the drama that we've dealt with or 314 00:19:01,116 --> 00:19:03,716 Speaker 1: whatever we were dealing with, that I felt like I 315 00:19:03,756 --> 00:19:06,596 Speaker 1: can't do this with him because he's slowing me down. 316 00:19:06,676 --> 00:19:11,236 Speaker 1: He's holding me back from just doing everything I can 317 00:19:11,396 --> 00:19:14,276 Speaker 1: to get this kid ready for life because I was 318 00:19:14,356 --> 00:19:17,516 Speaker 1: stuck in my own selfish world, like why me and 319 00:19:18,476 --> 00:19:20,236 Speaker 1: what did I do wrong? And this is not the 320 00:19:20,356 --> 00:19:23,236 Speaker 1: vision I had for my firstborn son. And I wanted 321 00:19:23,316 --> 00:19:25,436 Speaker 1: to experience the things that I did growing up because 322 00:19:25,436 --> 00:19:28,196 Speaker 1: it was beneficial for me. And now he's gonna do it. 323 00:19:28,516 --> 00:19:32,636 Speaker 1: And then I went into Okay, I'm an athlete. I'm 324 00:19:32,636 --> 00:19:34,316 Speaker 1: gonna do it like my dad did. I'm gonna coach 325 00:19:34,356 --> 00:19:39,836 Speaker 1: it out of him. And yeah, I was not equipped 326 00:19:39,836 --> 00:19:42,516 Speaker 1: with the right tools, and I didn't believe the therapist. 327 00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:44,356 Speaker 1: I didn't I just said I can do this myself. 328 00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:47,036 Speaker 1: And it came to a point where she's like, you 329 00:19:47,116 --> 00:19:50,036 Speaker 1: gotta get on board. And there was an embarrassing moment 330 00:19:50,116 --> 00:19:52,476 Speaker 1: with all of the therapies and one of our big 331 00:19:52,516 --> 00:19:55,476 Speaker 1: group sessions that I was asked to kind of do 332 00:19:55,516 --> 00:19:57,756 Speaker 1: something because it doesn't end at the therapy. You got 333 00:19:57,756 --> 00:19:59,756 Speaker 1: to go home and it's twenty four seven. You gotta, 334 00:20:00,316 --> 00:20:02,756 Speaker 1: you know, talk to him the right way and engage 335 00:20:02,796 --> 00:20:04,516 Speaker 1: with him the right way. And I didn't have any 336 00:20:04,516 --> 00:20:07,236 Speaker 1: of those tools because I didn't study it, wasn't willing 337 00:20:07,236 --> 00:20:10,716 Speaker 1: to learn. And so the embarrassing moment was when the 338 00:20:10,716 --> 00:20:14,036 Speaker 1: therapist asked me to engage with my son, and he 339 00:20:14,076 --> 00:20:17,636 Speaker 1: had no engagement with me, no eye contact, no laughter, 340 00:20:17,836 --> 00:20:22,396 Speaker 1: no plane. And then one of the other therapists got 341 00:20:22,436 --> 00:20:25,116 Speaker 1: on the floor with him and started talking to him 342 00:20:25,116 --> 00:20:28,796 Speaker 1: in special ways, engaging him with eye contact certain ways, 343 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:33,596 Speaker 1: and he immediately lit up and responded to everything that 344 00:20:33,636 --> 00:20:38,436 Speaker 1: she was doing. And it wasn't like immediately the light 345 00:20:38,436 --> 00:20:40,996 Speaker 1: went off, but I did, deep down know that I 346 00:20:41,076 --> 00:20:42,676 Speaker 1: was doing so I had to change the way I 347 00:20:42,716 --> 00:20:49,516 Speaker 1: was thinking. But I responded like, she set me up 348 00:20:49,676 --> 00:20:52,396 Speaker 1: to this, set me up to fail. She was, you know, 349 00:20:52,476 --> 00:20:54,836 Speaker 1: trying to make me look bad, and so I was 350 00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:57,956 Speaker 1: still stuck in my selfish ways, and she was like, look, 351 00:20:57,996 --> 00:21:00,076 Speaker 1: this is the way it has to happen, and unless 352 00:21:00,076 --> 00:21:02,916 Speaker 1: you can do this and get on board with it, 353 00:21:04,036 --> 00:21:07,716 Speaker 1: we can't last. And so when he realized that he 354 00:21:08,276 --> 00:21:10,756 Speaker 1: had to change his way and it happened on a dime, 355 00:21:11,316 --> 00:21:14,796 Speaker 1: it was just the most amazing thing. So thank God, 356 00:21:15,196 --> 00:21:20,196 Speaker 1: right right, And that was huge hurdle, huge Pete hurdle 357 00:21:20,316 --> 00:21:22,876 Speaker 1: number one. Yeah, that was that was one. I didn't 358 00:21:22,876 --> 00:21:25,116 Speaker 1: think we could we were gonna. So when that happened, 359 00:21:25,116 --> 00:21:27,276 Speaker 1: I was like, oh shit, we can handle we can 360 00:21:27,356 --> 00:21:29,556 Speaker 1: handle a lot of other things now, like if that 361 00:21:29,596 --> 00:21:35,356 Speaker 1: one was tough, right, it breaks up couples very, very easily. 362 00:21:37,076 --> 00:21:38,956 Speaker 1: So that was a huge hurdle. And I'm glad he 363 00:21:40,236 --> 00:21:42,956 Speaker 1: came through. And how lucky is he to have en 364 00:21:43,036 --> 00:21:47,516 Speaker 1: latent parents like you guys, I mean, I know he is, really, 365 00:21:47,596 --> 00:21:52,796 Speaker 1: I mean, he's very lucky. And and also I would 366 00:21:52,996 --> 00:21:56,676 Speaker 1: I mean, I suppose that what that doctor said, that 367 00:21:56,796 --> 00:22:00,356 Speaker 1: pediatrician said that day was not true. All that poor doctor. 368 00:22:00,716 --> 00:22:03,476 Speaker 1: I went on Oprah show and talked about that doctor 369 00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:06,636 Speaker 1: so bad. I feel badly. I didn't mention her name, 370 00:22:07,236 --> 00:22:09,756 Speaker 1: but I wanted other parents to hear. If you're getting 371 00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:12,596 Speaker 1: this diagnosis today, never let some doctor tell you what 372 00:22:12,636 --> 00:22:14,956 Speaker 1: your three year old is going to become. It's a 373 00:22:15,036 --> 00:22:17,876 Speaker 1: horrible thing to do to I mean, there's so much 374 00:22:17,916 --> 00:22:20,276 Speaker 1: hope that she robbed us of in that moment. And 375 00:22:20,356 --> 00:22:24,556 Speaker 1: had I not been the bulldog mom and the Johnny 376 00:22:24,556 --> 00:22:27,556 Speaker 1: come Lately dad who was on board later on, we 377 00:22:27,556 --> 00:22:30,556 Speaker 1: wouldn't mean, we might have succumbed to that hopelessness. So 378 00:22:30,596 --> 00:22:35,676 Speaker 1: this is this gigantic boulder in the middle of your marriage. Yes, 379 00:22:36,276 --> 00:22:41,996 Speaker 1: how do you still become a couple who gets to play. 380 00:22:42,836 --> 00:22:44,796 Speaker 1: I think there was a period of time where it 381 00:22:44,876 --> 00:22:47,196 Speaker 1: was just so about r J that we did neglect 382 00:22:47,196 --> 00:22:50,636 Speaker 1: each other. We tried to make it about each other, 383 00:22:50,676 --> 00:22:53,036 Speaker 1: but I think it just became get this kid as 384 00:22:53,236 --> 00:22:56,596 Speaker 1: right as possible so that when we die, he's going 385 00:22:56,676 --> 00:22:58,956 Speaker 1: to be okay. And how did you find your way 386 00:22:58,996 --> 00:23:03,356 Speaker 1: back to each other. We've done a lot of talking, 387 00:23:04,036 --> 00:23:08,196 Speaker 1: a lot of advocacy. I think the advocacy and starting 388 00:23:08,196 --> 00:23:12,276 Speaker 1: the foundation and meeting with other parents and seeing the 389 00:23:12,356 --> 00:23:16,476 Speaker 1: change we were affecting, yeah, helped us go Okay, we're 390 00:23:16,516 --> 00:23:20,276 Speaker 1: doing something, we're doing something right, and that bonded us. 391 00:23:21,036 --> 00:23:23,756 Speaker 1: It's powerful when he goes and speaks to other dads 392 00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:30,876 Speaker 1: because being a macho black athlete and like they sit 393 00:23:30,956 --> 00:23:32,676 Speaker 1: in the room going, wow, he was in denial and 394 00:23:32,676 --> 00:23:35,756 Speaker 1: they're like, see, honey, he's in denial and he figured 395 00:23:35,796 --> 00:23:39,596 Speaker 1: it out. And so that's a powerful it's some powerful 396 00:23:40,116 --> 00:23:42,676 Speaker 1: image to put out there. Right, tell us about r 397 00:23:42,756 --> 00:23:52,116 Speaker 1: J today? Yeah, you go, Phil, You still doing them 398 00:23:52,116 --> 00:23:58,556 Speaker 1: water works things? Huh. Well. He now works with the 399 00:23:58,596 --> 00:24:02,116 Speaker 1: Los Angeles Dodgers. He's a clubhouse attendant. They love him. 400 00:24:03,036 --> 00:24:05,316 Speaker 1: And every time I like I put on social media 401 00:24:05,436 --> 00:24:07,396 Speaker 1: or a post I say thank you Dodgers for giving 402 00:24:07,436 --> 00:24:10,796 Speaker 1: my son a job. They always write me back, going, no, 403 00:24:11,036 --> 00:24:12,996 Speaker 1: thank you for RJ. You know what he brings to 404 00:24:13,036 --> 00:24:16,516 Speaker 1: this clubhouse. We've had some tough losses over the last 405 00:24:16,556 --> 00:24:18,716 Speaker 1: few years. RJ is the guy that has to put 406 00:24:18,756 --> 00:24:22,556 Speaker 1: the champagne back at the sixth inning, you know, when 407 00:24:22,556 --> 00:24:26,196 Speaker 1: we're gonna lose the World Series or whatever. So it's 408 00:24:26,196 --> 00:24:30,196 Speaker 1: an emotional thing, an emotional journey. So when the doctor 409 00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:32,596 Speaker 1: told us he would never have a job and he 410 00:24:32,636 --> 00:24:36,436 Speaker 1: would probably never have friends, Yeah, he never had friends 411 00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:41,556 Speaker 1: growing up, and now he has, you know, a whole 412 00:24:41,636 --> 00:24:44,956 Speaker 1: dugout full of friends. And that's really just so powerful. 413 00:24:45,036 --> 00:24:50,636 Speaker 1: So RJ is driving. J is, he's communicating, he's connecting. 414 00:24:51,396 --> 00:24:55,116 Speaker 1: He has a great job, his dream job, makes its 415 00:24:55,156 --> 00:24:57,476 Speaker 1: own money, does his own banking. I mean he is, 416 00:24:58,516 --> 00:25:01,876 Speaker 1: and he's happy. Like he said, he's driving, and he's 417 00:25:01,916 --> 00:25:07,076 Speaker 1: connecting with people. Still has issues, still has a lot 418 00:25:07,116 --> 00:25:11,316 Speaker 1: of OCD. Can't talk to women or girls yet. And 419 00:25:11,356 --> 00:25:13,836 Speaker 1: he's I'm not just saying this because he's my baby, 420 00:25:13,876 --> 00:25:18,476 Speaker 1: but he's gorgeous and so it's a success story. Yeah, 421 00:25:18,476 --> 00:25:21,196 Speaker 1: it's a kid that was the one we were worried 422 00:25:21,556 --> 00:25:25,196 Speaker 1: that was kind of pushing us apart together brought us 423 00:25:25,236 --> 00:25:28,116 Speaker 1: back together and still does. Did you go to the 424 00:25:28,236 --> 00:25:31,116 Speaker 1: couple's therapy? Yes, yeah, from day one. By the way, 425 00:25:31,116 --> 00:25:35,156 Speaker 1: I should say that was the one of traveling to 426 00:25:35,276 --> 00:25:41,276 Speaker 1: far places was one criteria and the other was you 427 00:25:41,276 --> 00:25:42,956 Speaker 1: have to be willing to sit down with a shrink. 428 00:25:43,356 --> 00:25:45,556 Speaker 1: And Rodney Pete did not come from that's not in 429 00:25:45,636 --> 00:25:48,436 Speaker 1: his background, Like his parents were like, where are you 430 00:25:48,476 --> 00:25:51,556 Speaker 1: are you giving my son a lobotomy? And so he 431 00:25:51,636 --> 00:25:53,276 Speaker 1: had to be willing to do that. And when he 432 00:25:53,316 --> 00:25:56,556 Speaker 1: said yes to that, because these little strong black men 433 00:25:56,596 --> 00:25:59,116 Speaker 1: don't do that. They do not sit down in a 434 00:25:59,236 --> 00:26:02,396 Speaker 1: room and have some person tell them anything. That's just 435 00:26:02,476 --> 00:26:06,036 Speaker 1: they'll go to a pastor or a preacher. We lent 436 00:26:06,156 --> 00:26:11,076 Speaker 1: a couple of times the irishman here sit well with him. 437 00:26:11,596 --> 00:26:14,076 Speaker 1: We had a fight in front of the therapist the 438 00:26:14,116 --> 00:26:17,516 Speaker 1: first day and he left slammed the door. Before we 439 00:26:17,516 --> 00:26:21,036 Speaker 1: were married, and the therapist was my therapist, and the 440 00:26:21,036 --> 00:26:24,236 Speaker 1: therapist said to me, this is not the guy for you. 441 00:26:27,116 --> 00:26:30,316 Speaker 1: That sounds like mine. But never day lady, you know, 442 00:26:31,356 --> 00:26:33,796 Speaker 1: because I mean in the middle of meeting and gets 443 00:26:33,876 --> 00:26:36,796 Speaker 1: mad and leaves. It's not a good sign at all. 444 00:26:36,836 --> 00:26:39,796 Speaker 1: This guy's not good for you. But but it was 445 00:26:39,796 --> 00:26:42,156 Speaker 1: interesting because every time we would run into that therapist 446 00:26:42,756 --> 00:26:45,316 Speaker 1: years later, he would say, you guys kill me. You 447 00:26:45,356 --> 00:26:48,916 Speaker 1: don't resolve anything, do We don't resolve everything. You can't 448 00:26:48,996 --> 00:26:51,556 Speaker 1: resolve everything. So I like that. I mean, you can't 449 00:26:51,556 --> 00:26:53,956 Speaker 1: resolve everything, and I do. I think if if I 450 00:26:53,996 --> 00:26:58,236 Speaker 1: have one of my very few faults that I have, UM, 451 00:26:58,276 --> 00:27:02,796 Speaker 1: if that I do try to micromanage, you know, our 452 00:27:02,836 --> 00:27:08,436 Speaker 1: relationship sometimes. Um. The autism thing was rough, But you 453 00:27:08,516 --> 00:27:12,516 Speaker 1: mentioned the other hurdle number two or three. I lost 454 00:27:12,556 --> 00:27:17,436 Speaker 1: count retirement when he retired. Yeah, when the lights went 455 00:27:17,436 --> 00:27:21,036 Speaker 1: out on the football career, I thought I was ready 456 00:27:21,036 --> 00:27:24,236 Speaker 1: for it, but I think I was so worn out 457 00:27:24,636 --> 00:27:30,436 Speaker 1: from the autism stuff that I was like, uh, you know, 458 00:27:30,556 --> 00:27:33,116 Speaker 1: is this now what? First of all, you don't want 459 00:27:33,156 --> 00:27:35,556 Speaker 1: it to end because it's something you've done for eight 460 00:27:35,636 --> 00:27:38,756 Speaker 1: years old. And then on top of that, it ends 461 00:27:38,836 --> 00:27:41,196 Speaker 1: at thirty eight and everybody's just in the prime of 462 00:27:41,236 --> 00:27:44,076 Speaker 1: their working career at that time, you know, and so 463 00:27:44,396 --> 00:27:48,916 Speaker 1: thirty eight is old for question. Yeah exactly. So now 464 00:27:48,996 --> 00:27:51,636 Speaker 1: you're at you know, thirty eight years old, and you're like, Okay, 465 00:27:52,156 --> 00:27:54,636 Speaker 1: I just had, you know, wonderful life doing what I 466 00:27:54,676 --> 00:27:58,356 Speaker 1: always wanted to do. That's over. Where am I going 467 00:27:58,436 --> 00:28:00,476 Speaker 1: to find that high? Where am I going to find 468 00:28:00,516 --> 00:28:03,716 Speaker 1: that same feeling? Yeah? Where am I gonna get that 469 00:28:03,796 --> 00:28:06,876 Speaker 1: rush from? And I went right from playing to a 470 00:28:06,956 --> 00:28:10,716 Speaker 1: show being hired by father to do a pretty popular 471 00:28:10,716 --> 00:28:15,276 Speaker 1: show called Best Damn Sports Show. But I wasn't happy. 472 00:28:15,356 --> 00:28:17,796 Speaker 1: I mean I was like still thinking that was going 473 00:28:17,836 --> 00:28:20,476 Speaker 1: to get feel that boy. So it spent a lot 474 00:28:20,476 --> 00:28:24,556 Speaker 1: of time chasing that rush because there was no handbook, 475 00:28:24,556 --> 00:28:26,356 Speaker 1: There was no hambig say this is what you're supposed 476 00:28:26,356 --> 00:28:28,796 Speaker 1: to do or feel like or all those type of things. 477 00:28:28,916 --> 00:28:33,676 Speaker 1: And then the other thing that was happening was Rodney 478 00:28:33,756 --> 00:28:38,636 Speaker 1: was in miss pain from playing football. They had opioids 479 00:28:38,676 --> 00:28:42,516 Speaker 1: hanging out in the you know, like mints in the 480 00:28:42,556 --> 00:28:45,556 Speaker 1: locker rooms, and so he was dealing with to get 481 00:28:45,596 --> 00:28:47,236 Speaker 1: them through the game, you mean, get him through the game, 482 00:28:47,276 --> 00:28:49,596 Speaker 1: get him through life, get him through the week, you know, 483 00:28:50,876 --> 00:28:53,476 Speaker 1: And he was drinking, and so he was dealing with 484 00:28:55,516 --> 00:28:58,716 Speaker 1: all of those things on top of retiring and then 485 00:28:58,796 --> 00:29:02,556 Speaker 1: me and denial about what those things were causing. And 486 00:29:02,636 --> 00:29:05,076 Speaker 1: he didn't know how many concussions he had. He had 487 00:29:05,156 --> 00:29:07,916 Speaker 1: so many As an athlete, you just deal. You just 488 00:29:08,476 --> 00:29:12,436 Speaker 1: basically live within paying because in football especially you play 489 00:29:12,476 --> 00:29:16,436 Speaker 1: on a Sunday, you don't feel good until that following 490 00:29:16,516 --> 00:29:18,836 Speaker 1: Friday or Saturday because you're dealing with the pain from 491 00:29:18,876 --> 00:29:21,636 Speaker 1: the past Sunday opioids and things that they gave you 492 00:29:22,036 --> 00:29:24,316 Speaker 1: that we find out now there was just so terrible 493 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:27,476 Speaker 1: detriment to your body. It was they give it out 494 00:29:27,516 --> 00:29:30,796 Speaker 1: like candy. Yeah, there were There were definitely dark moments 495 00:29:30,796 --> 00:29:33,796 Speaker 1: and dark times and drinking and all that game and 496 00:29:33,836 --> 00:29:36,876 Speaker 1: taking pills. Found myself constantly, you know, like when you 497 00:29:36,996 --> 00:29:40,316 Speaker 1: dream and you're you're gonna plate you fall and you 498 00:29:40,356 --> 00:29:43,716 Speaker 1: can't stop falling. You're always falling. You can't find anywhere 499 00:29:43,716 --> 00:29:47,036 Speaker 1: to see. It was that kind of feeling in terms 500 00:29:47,076 --> 00:29:51,556 Speaker 1: of chasing that rush. Retirement. It's a huge thing. Yeah, 501 00:29:51,636 --> 00:29:53,916 Speaker 1: everybody in the world is going to have to retire 502 00:29:53,956 --> 00:29:56,396 Speaker 1: at some point. And I think the biggest thing, in 503 00:29:56,436 --> 00:30:00,356 Speaker 1: the biggest part of it is, and it's one hundred 504 00:30:00,356 --> 00:30:04,156 Speaker 1: percent true, is that I would not be here being 505 00:30:04,196 --> 00:30:07,316 Speaker 1: able to overcome a lot of things that I've been 506 00:30:07,356 --> 00:30:10,876 Speaker 1: able to work through and overcome if she was not 507 00:30:10,916 --> 00:30:14,196 Speaker 1: willing to work it out with me. You've been through 508 00:30:15,076 --> 00:30:21,436 Speaker 1: so many big tsunamis, you know, and you've and you've 509 00:30:21,556 --> 00:30:24,956 Speaker 1: ridden the wave and hung onto each other through it. 510 00:30:25,036 --> 00:30:28,756 Speaker 1: I mean, what if that isn't love? What is still 511 00:30:28,796 --> 00:30:32,116 Speaker 1: and still doing it tomorrow? Like still there, like still 512 00:30:32,716 --> 00:30:35,036 Speaker 1: still some of the repercussions of some of the decisions 513 00:30:35,036 --> 00:30:37,556 Speaker 1: that were made, still paying for that a little bit, 514 00:30:37,676 --> 00:30:43,076 Speaker 1: still dealing with that. And um, I think we're still work. 515 00:30:43,476 --> 00:30:45,876 Speaker 1: Everybody's a work in pros right right till the end. 516 00:30:46,516 --> 00:30:49,596 Speaker 1: One couple we've said, they said, we're always under construction. 517 00:30:51,836 --> 00:30:54,436 Speaker 1: I mean you are. We we are too. Don't think 518 00:30:54,476 --> 00:30:56,396 Speaker 1: we've made it. I mean we're you know, we're still 519 00:30:57,196 --> 00:30:59,436 Speaker 1: riding the waves of all kinds of stuff that we 520 00:30:59,556 --> 00:31:03,356 Speaker 1: have to You're you guys have been amazing. I mean 521 00:31:03,396 --> 00:31:08,796 Speaker 1: it's really really so juicy. So sorry it has. And 522 00:31:09,156 --> 00:31:11,596 Speaker 1: as we were wrapping up, Holly and Rodney had some 523 00:31:11,796 --> 00:31:15,436 Speaker 1: terrific advice for all couples who are works in progress. 524 00:31:15,516 --> 00:31:17,516 Speaker 1: We do something called we call it same page love, 525 00:31:18,076 --> 00:31:21,436 Speaker 1: where if you're on the same page, things are good. 526 00:31:21,636 --> 00:31:23,676 Speaker 1: When you're on a different chapter or even a whole 527 00:31:23,756 --> 00:31:26,516 Speaker 1: other book, that's a bad thing. So when you say 528 00:31:26,596 --> 00:31:28,156 Speaker 1: we try to get the same page love. Is that 529 00:31:28,316 --> 00:31:31,796 Speaker 1: like an exercise? Yeah, let's sit down, allow each other 530 00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:36,476 Speaker 1: to talk and listen. Give them a time limit, maybe 531 00:31:36,516 --> 00:31:40,276 Speaker 1: it's fifteen minutes. Okay, now you're on the clock. Because 532 00:31:40,356 --> 00:31:42,756 Speaker 1: what happens is you come to an agreement a couple 533 00:31:42,796 --> 00:31:45,676 Speaker 1: that also is a twenty second hug. Yeah I read that. 534 00:31:46,116 --> 00:31:49,436 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, someone, if I call for it, she's 535 00:31:49,476 --> 00:31:51,636 Speaker 1: got to give it to me and vice versa. Can't 536 00:31:51,676 --> 00:31:54,436 Speaker 1: pull away, You got to hold that hug. There's all 537 00:31:54,556 --> 00:31:57,756 Speaker 1: this energy going on. You want to just fucking kill him. 538 00:31:58,516 --> 00:32:02,476 Speaker 1: What happens, even though you're angry, you start reminiscing about 539 00:32:02,516 --> 00:32:05,516 Speaker 1: why you're together and what it means to be together. 540 00:32:05,676 --> 00:32:09,796 Speaker 1: I think it's a physical your heart. I mean, all 541 00:32:09,876 --> 00:32:13,516 Speaker 1: that comes out right, it's just a it's the connection. 542 00:32:17,316 --> 00:32:21,876 Speaker 1: That's Rodney and Holly Robinson peak. What an inspiring couple. 543 00:32:22,036 --> 00:32:25,316 Speaker 1: It just goes to show that with bravery and perseverance, 544 00:32:25,716 --> 00:32:28,516 Speaker 1: you can get through almost anything as a couple as 545 00:32:28,596 --> 00:32:30,836 Speaker 1: long as you have the right person on your team. 546 00:32:31,836 --> 00:32:34,916 Speaker 1: Until next time, I'm Phill down to you and I'm 547 00:32:34,956 --> 00:32:39,196 Speaker 1: Marlo Thomas. Well, you gave us two great pieces of advice. 548 00:32:39,276 --> 00:32:42,116 Speaker 1: The twenty second Hug and the and the get on 549 00:32:42,196 --> 00:32:45,716 Speaker 1: the same page age love. That's great. That's our little hashtag. 550 00:32:45,876 --> 00:32:52,956 Speaker 1: That's great to have a hashtag these days. Marlod double Day. 551 00:32:52,996 --> 00:32:56,716 Speaker 1: There's a production of Pushkin Industries. The show was created 552 00:32:56,756 --> 00:33:00,916 Speaker 1: by us and produced by Sarah Lily. Michael Bahari is 553 00:33:00,916 --> 00:33:04,716 Speaker 1: associate producer. Musical adaptations of It Had to Be You 554 00:33:05,356 --> 00:33:10,716 Speaker 1: by Cellwagon, Simfinette, Marlo and I are exactly producers, along 555 00:33:10,836 --> 00:33:16,316 Speaker 1: with Mia Lobel and Letal Molad from Pushkin. Special thanks 556 00:33:16,556 --> 00:33:22,996 Speaker 1: to Jacob Wiseburg, Malcolm Gladwell, Heather Fame, John Snars, Carly Migliori, 557 00:33:23,636 --> 00:33:29,876 Speaker 1: Eric Sandler, Emily Rosdek, Jason Gambrel, Paul Williams, and Bruce Kluger. 558 00:33:30,996 --> 00:33:34,716 Speaker 1: If you like our show, please remember to share, rate, 559 00:33:34,876 --> 00:33:37,436 Speaker 1: and review. Thanks for listening.