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Speaker 1: Call it what it is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille

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Speaker 1: Luddington an iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, you look like a Disney princess.

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Speaker 3: Name as Jessica Capshaw.

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Speaker 2: It's giving Arizona Robbins vibes. By season seven eight, every

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Speaker 2: season when people don't notice about you, every single time

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Speaker 2: Jessica Capshaw came into our glam trailer before work. You

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Speaker 2: would really do a lot of your own hair on

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Speaker 2: the show, which is not the norm I did.

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Speaker 1: I primarily did because the real reason I did was

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Speaker 1: because I will find a picture of it.

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Speaker 4: But there was a particularly terrible hairdo.

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Speaker 1: That I was given season five, and it actually it

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Speaker 1: bridged over from the last episode of season five to

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Speaker 1: the first episode of season six.

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Speaker 4: Again check my facts, people, I know.

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Speaker 3: I was like, here we go.

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Speaker 1: But it was like down the middle part with like

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Speaker 1: the two top pieces like salacked straight back and like

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Speaker 1: firmly secured with bobby pins.

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Speaker 4: And then there was some like not cute.

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Speaker 1: Beachy waves like pulled out toussled, but more like ringlets, like.

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Speaker 4: Like oh yeah, some real ringlets.

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Speaker 3: We all have a ringlet season on the show.

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Speaker 4: I don't know why anyone lets that happen.

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Speaker 3: It was of the time.

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Speaker 2: If you love back of the time, It's like all

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Speaker 2: those shows are everyone's having those very tight like princess

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Speaker 2: princess hair do is not brushed out, You're keeping those

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Speaker 2: curls in oh never the bottom.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: And then and then we started not curling the ends,

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Speaker 1: which was key. That was what made it look like

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Speaker 1: a really like the wave.

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Speaker 3: Yeah wave yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yes.

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Speaker 2: So is that what started you forever doing your hair

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Speaker 2: on the show, because I feel like you kind of

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Speaker 2: always did well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I was. Initially it was in response to,

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Speaker 1: uh a hair a hair do, I can hate it,

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Speaker 1: And then it turned into I had a really long

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Speaker 1: drive to work, so I would usually be in the

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Speaker 1: car for like forty five minutes to an hour and

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Speaker 1: a half if there was traffic, and I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to go from sitting down to sitting down, so I

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Speaker 1: would stand and I would always go to go to

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Speaker 1: go to hair first and I would blow dry my

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Speaker 1: hair and then I would sit down and makeup.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I bit the bullet because I was on TikTok

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Speaker 2: and I got convinced because TikTok makes you buy things.

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Speaker 3: The dice and air wrap.

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Speaker 4: Oh lordy, it's well, by.

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Speaker 2: The way, it's super expensive, so it's taken me time

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Speaker 2: to want to commit. Right, that's a very expensive hair situation,

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Speaker 2: a piece of a piece of equipment. But people really

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Speaker 2: have trouble online doing it. So it's just sitting there

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Speaker 2: right now. I've been a little bit intimidated to try

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Speaker 2: the whole wraps. I haven't unboxed it, no, and there's

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Speaker 2: so many pieces. It's like an inspector gadget of freaking,

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Speaker 2: you know, hair styling equipment.

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Speaker 4: Like guess what I've been doing this week?

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Speaker 3: Tell me.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So I don't know that we mentioned this on

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Speaker 1: the podcast, but my mother, Kate Capshaw, started her career

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Speaker 1: as an actress and we moved to New York City

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Speaker 1: when I was a little girl, and she was a

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Speaker 1: model first and then she started acting and she got

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Speaker 1: her very first movie in New York City, directed by

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Speaker 1: Bruce Paltrow and he became one of her bestest friends

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Speaker 1: in the whole world. But anyways, so she was doing

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Speaker 1: a movie in New York City and I was I

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Speaker 1: don't know, five or six, and I just remember it

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Speaker 1: being like the most magical thing, like the trailers would

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Speaker 1: park along the streets and the trees the way that

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Speaker 1: they would bend over the side, and people were walking along,

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Speaker 1: and you know, you're disrupting real life to create this

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Speaker 1: alternative life.

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Speaker 4: And my mom was just like young and beautiful. It's

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Speaker 4: just she I against the world.

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Speaker 1: And I got hired as a extra in like a

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Speaker 1: wedding scene, so I actually got to come to work

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Speaker 1: with her one day. Anyways, I have these memories cemented

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Speaker 1: in my mind of how ideal and wonderful it is

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Speaker 1: to shoot a movie on the streets of New York City,

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Speaker 1: and I've always moved towards that. I've always wanted that,

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Speaker 1: Like every time a movie is in New York I've

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Speaker 1: always been like, oh, I hope I get it, or

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Speaker 1: I hope this works out, and just so far, it

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Speaker 1: just hasn't been my story. And I got a phone

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Speaker 1: call saying, Hey, would you like to come do this

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Speaker 1: movie for a couple of days in New York City?

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Speaker 1: And I said, yeah, this is going to be like

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Speaker 1: the completion of a dream that I've had. And it's

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Speaker 1: been as good as I thought it would be walking

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Speaker 1: around New York City and coming in and becoming this

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Speaker 1: other character and getting all dressed up and all of

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Speaker 1: it has been so so, so much fun. And I

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Speaker 1: have to say it's been very inspiring to me because

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Speaker 1: a lot of times you think of things and you

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Speaker 1: think like they're never going to happen. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: was like, what five or six, like, what are the

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Speaker 1: chances of me being able to become an actress and

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Speaker 1: do a movie in New York City? And now here

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Speaker 1: I am doing a movie in New York City.

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Speaker 2: I have a question because I feel like, here's what

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Speaker 2: I'm always curious about. Because they can't shut down all

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Speaker 2: of like Fifth Avenue, Ya. So when you're shooting in

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Speaker 2: a busy, busy city like that. And by the way,

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Speaker 2: guys on Gray's Anatomy, we shoot if we're on location

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Speaker 2: there's barely anybody around, we really can sort of shut

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Speaker 2: it down more. In Los Angeles we're in neighborhoods, it's

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Speaker 2: not the same vibe as New York City, or we're

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Speaker 2: on the hospital set where there is nobody else. So on,

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Speaker 2: when you're walking down the street shooting in New York City,

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Speaker 2: do you have random people just crossing in front of

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Speaker 2: you or just staring at you.

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Speaker 3: There are ruining the shop.

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Speaker 2: I wonder this in like Sex and the City, when

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Speaker 2: I'm watching I'm like, how are they shooting any of

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Speaker 2: these shows?

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Speaker 1: They close down the street that you're working on, or

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Speaker 1: we're like the space that you're working on, and then

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Speaker 1: they like it's like holding traffic, Like they hold people

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Speaker 1: at the perimeter of the space that you're working in,

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Speaker 1: and then you know, when you're when you're paused or done,

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Speaker 1: then they like let people walk through. But I did

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Speaker 1: notice that, you know how like normally on Graze, if

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Speaker 1: if we're shooting and you hear, you know, a backup,

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Speaker 1: a truck backing up, and you hear the beep beep,

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Speaker 1: it's like sound.

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Speaker 4: Immediately be like hold for sound. Yes, yes, In New

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Speaker 4: York we hold for no one.

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Speaker 3: We hold for no one.

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Speaker 4: We hold for fucking nothing.

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Speaker 1: It can be a five alarm fire, there's ambulances and

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Speaker 1: who it does not matter if we were in a

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Speaker 1: nail salon two days ago. And and I seem like

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Speaker 1: I'm like a crazy person because I'm in the middle

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Speaker 1: of talking about like, oh, we'll hold for the plane,

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Speaker 1: and they're like, hold for the plane.

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Speaker 4: Would you hold the plane?

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Speaker 3: Plane? Calm down.

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Speaker 4: They're not landing. What are you talking about? Keep it going?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, god, that would be hard for us. I know,

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Speaker 2: we definitely film in a totally different way, little delicate.

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Speaker 3: Someone coughs, it's over.

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Speaker 2: Oh, like you know what, you gotta take that whole

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Speaker 2: We gotta start the episode yet for sure.

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Speaker 4: Yep, yep, go back, go back that. Yeah. Yeah, but

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Speaker 4: it's been great and I've been and i've been.

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Speaker 1: Christopher is doing a whitewater raft trip with the Big Girls,

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Speaker 1: and Luke has started his summer job, and Josie's been

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Speaker 1: kind of hanging out and so she came into the

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Speaker 1: city yesterday. But I was by myself for like three nights,

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Speaker 1: which I also was great because I got to start

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Speaker 1: catching up on things to watch. And I was watching

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Speaker 1: something and I might have seen your husband.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I love that you said this.

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Speaker 2: He is on a show called Presumed Innocent right now

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Speaker 2: and Jake John Hall.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know.

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Speaker 1: It surprised me, so I turned on. Everyone was talking

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Speaker 1: about Presumed Innocent and I started watching it. I loved

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Speaker 1: the movie. I completely forgot you know, well no spoiler alert.

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Speaker 1: It's a murder mystery type situation, and I started watching.

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Speaker 1: But I completely forgot who did it? So does Matt

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Speaker 1: not do it? Don't tell me, don't let me, just

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Speaker 1: let me, just don't tell me.

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Speaker 3: It for everybody.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: What is so funny to me is that my husband

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Speaker 2: is such a he's the sweetest. He's from the Midwest.

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Speaker 2: He's such a sweet guy in real life, and he

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Speaker 2: guess cast as bad guys all the time or drug dealers.

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Speaker 2: If you've seen him on Thirteen Reasons Why, he's absolutely disgusting.

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Speaker 2: He's dealing drugs to some random kids. And then and

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Speaker 2: then we both done a Lifetime movie early in our careers.

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Speaker 2: I played Princess Kate Middleton. He played a guy that

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Speaker 2: was a janitor pimping out all the high school girls

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Speaker 2: and so oh, I think it's called walking the Halls.

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Speaker 2: He's literally a pimp for the underage. So that's the

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Speaker 2: kind of a resume he's knocking up. But he No,

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Speaker 2: this is a great I love that you mention it.

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Speaker 2: It's a great show.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: By the way, public opinion, do you like when a

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Speaker 1: show comes out like all of it at once, like

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Speaker 1: the bear just came out and it came all out

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Speaker 1: at once, or do you like when they drive one

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Speaker 1: every week.

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Speaker 2: I like it when they drop a couple every week.

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Speaker 2: People are craving the Gray's Anatomy experience again, which our

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Speaker 2: show still does. The eighteen episodes, the twenty two episodes

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Speaker 2: we have twenty five, We're not people are not getting

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Speaker 2: that anymore.

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Speaker 3: And I am reading all.

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Speaker 2: The time that they consumers are back ready for not

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Speaker 2: just to be dropped in a week. You're kind of

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Speaker 2: done with the show. It's ten episodes, whatever it is,

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Speaker 2: and then you have to wait a couple more years.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: We're all waiting for stranger things. People are waiting for

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Speaker 2: euphori Yah. Yeah, I had an equally as glamorous week

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Speaker 2: as you, really, which I'm very excited to talk about.

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Speaker 2: So you were filming in New York City and you

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Speaker 2: were having that moment and you're out and bustling. I

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Speaker 2: have mainly been on the couch.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I've been on the couch.

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Speaker 2: I think I changed my clothes maybe four times in

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Speaker 2: a seven day period. My kids are in camp, and

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Speaker 2: so I've been using that time during the day to

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Speaker 2: literally just sit with myself.

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Speaker 3: We don't have to.

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Speaker 2: Do we're not shooting Grace Anatomy right now. We have downtime.

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Speaker 2: I have a three weeks until we're back, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: what do I want to watch? Like my God, Like,

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Speaker 2: who am I without my children and anybody home? I

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Speaker 2: have been in Binge watching Heaven. What I know?

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Speaker 3: I just said to tell them.

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Speaker 2: You know, they don't want all the episodes dropped at once,

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Speaker 2: but when it's like a reality TV show or a documentary,

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Speaker 2: I want it all.

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Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, okay, okay, So what are you watching?

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 2: So I have been loving my life, uh watching Netflix,

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Speaker 2: the top one in they're in the top ten right now.

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Speaker 2: There is a documentary series about DCC, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders,

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Speaker 2: and it fought. First off, I love a documentary about

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Speaker 2: cheer I don't know what it is. I think it's

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Speaker 2: caause I grew up in England and it was just

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Speaker 2: like very like fantasy. You know, I grew up with

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Speaker 2: watching Bring It On On all those things.

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Speaker 1: Is cheerleading or cheer in general? Only American? Does this

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Speaker 1: only happen in America?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Yes, this is not no nobody in No, it's.

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Speaker 3: America the origin.

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Speaker 4: But that's for another day. Go ahead.

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Speaker 2: Yes, So I got sucked into this documentary and It

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Speaker 2: follows the tryouts to the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. There it

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Speaker 2: appears to be they're at like their last audition. You

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Speaker 2: really find out it's not, but they're at you. They're

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Speaker 2: they're doing a dance audition. They've got I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I think they're down to like seventy girls something like that.

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Speaker 2: And then they do a cut and then you think

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Speaker 2: that a bunch of them have made the team and

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Speaker 2: they're learning the famous song Thunderstruck that they all run

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Speaker 2: out to on the field at the beginning of a

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Speaker 2: Dallas Cowboys game, and then they cut more girls. They

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Speaker 2: cut one girl because literally she was like too short,

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Speaker 2: which is so wild to be how to do not

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Speaker 2: know that? From the beginning, they're showing the girls training,

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Speaker 2: They're showing their injuries as they go along, the heartbreak,

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Speaker 2: the hard work, the dedication, their backstories where they're from.

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Speaker 2: They're part of a legendary team. Me from England, I

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Speaker 2: knew about the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. I can't really honestly

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Speaker 2: name another cheerleading team. I know that there are others,

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Speaker 2: but I feel like that's a super famous one. But

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Speaker 2: the documentary is definitely being talked about, and I want

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Speaker 2: to talk about it on our show because there's a

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Speaker 2: little controversy surrounding it.

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Speaker 4: Let's get to it.

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Speaker 2: Well, what was really shocking is that you watch them

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Speaker 2: training and you're thinking, like, oh my god, these girls,

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Speaker 2: it's midnight. They've got to go home. Think I please,

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Speaker 2: I want them to rest because they're working so hard.

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Speaker 2: They're incredibly talented, and they're waking up to do their

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Speaker 2: other jobs and you're wondering, why do you have to

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Speaker 2: have another job?

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Speaker 4: Where are they on the team right now? Are they

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Speaker 4: still trying there?

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Speaker 3: So still trying out.

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Speaker 2: But even when they make the team, all these girls

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Speaker 2: have to have two jobs. They're one job, which is

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Speaker 2: the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, which they seem to practice in

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Speaker 2: the evenings.

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Speaker 3: More one of the girls.

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Speaker 2: For example, on the on the documentary, she is asked

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Speaker 2: specifically what she makes and she doesn't want to say

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Speaker 2: exactly what she makes. She does have another job supporting herself,

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Speaker 2: which is bonkers.

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Speaker 1: So these young women are coming out, they're auditioning, they're

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Speaker 1: going through how long is the tryout process?

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Speaker 2: The tryout process goes on for weeks because before they

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Speaker 2: even get to where they get to at the beginning

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Speaker 2: of the documentary, they've already gone through a few auditions.

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Speaker 2: It appears to be about a three week process once

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Speaker 2: you think they've made their team, and then they're even

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Speaker 2: making cuts after that before they do their game, and

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Speaker 2: then the first game, and then of course there's a

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Speaker 2: whole season of football season. Right.

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Speaker 4: Who's the organization that runs it is? Is it the

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Speaker 4: Dallas Cowboys themselves?

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Speaker 1: Like the management team of the football team is also

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Speaker 1: running the cheerleading well.

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Speaker 2: Charlotte Jones is the Cowboys chief brand officer and daughter

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Speaker 2: of owner Jerry Jones, and she's in the documentary a lot.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like she's the head, the head of

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Speaker 2: the head because she picks the coach.

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Speaker 1: So it's an official it's an official piece or arm

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Speaker 1: of the Dallas Cowboys franchise.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, And I want to read to everybody listening a

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Speaker 2: little piece on the Huffington Post because they talked about

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Speaker 2: a woman who started to cheer for the Cowboys in

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty one and was asked to remain anonymous. Told

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Speaker 2: the Hoffington Post she was paid twelve fifty per hour

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Speaker 2: for practices and four hundred for a game. In fact,

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Speaker 2: originally she was paid one hundred for appearances in her

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Speaker 2: first year, and it increased by one hundred dollars every year,

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Speaker 2: and cheerleaders only performed her in home games, but each

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Speaker 2: one requires a commitment of more than twelve hours. However,

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Speaker 2: I think what is so shocking is that the Cowboys

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Speaker 2: organization makes over a billion dollars. Their football players are

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Speaker 2: making millions and millions, So the discrepancy is wild.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, the reason why I asked who who's banaging

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Speaker 1: it is because these things I feel like they always

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Speaker 1: pretty much stick from the head down.

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Speaker 4: So I guess why are the cheerleaders not valued?

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Speaker 2: Well, here's what I don't like about it. There are

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Speaker 2: women in charge of this part of the organization that

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Speaker 2: I think should be really rallying around these girls to

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Speaker 2: get more money. But part of their reasoning is that

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Speaker 2: it's a privilege to be on the team and it's

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Speaker 2: a sisterhood, and that's it's a job.

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Speaker 1: You get paid for your job. It's not a volunteer position.

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Speaker 1: You get paid for your job. You're not showing up.

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Speaker 1: Girls definitely taught.

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Speaker 2: That they're replaceable and just to put on the uniform

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Speaker 2: is payment enough.

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Speaker 4: Well, that's that's the call that that's bullshit.

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Speaker 2: The Dallas Cowboy football players wearing Dallas Cowboy uniforms, and

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Speaker 2: they don't just say to them it's a privilege to

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Speaker 2: wear the uniform.

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Speaker 1: They do not, And I don't think that they would

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Speaker 1: show up if that was the case. I don't think

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Speaker 1: they would show up. Okay, So I'm seeing I'm seeing

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Speaker 1: here that Charlotte Jones, who is yes again she's the

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Speaker 1: daughter of Jerry Jones, responds to this and says there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of cynicism around pay for NFL cheerleaders, as

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Speaker 1: it should be. They're not paid a lot, but the

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Speaker 1: facts are they don't actually come here for the money.

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Speaker 1: They come here for something that's actually bigger than that.

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Speaker 1: To them, they have a chance to feel like they

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Speaker 1: are valued, they are special, and they are making a difference.

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Speaker 1: When the women come here, they find their passion and

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Speaker 1: they find their purpose.

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Speaker 4: This is so it makes me want to It's not

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Speaker 4: a club.

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Speaker 2: It feels like it's been packaged together in a very

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Speaker 2: disgusting little publicity bow. And nobody is afraid. Everyone's afraid

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Speaker 2: to speak up.

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Speaker 1: No, I think that the way you show that so

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Speaker 1: someone is valued in the workplaces you pay them, and

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Speaker 1: I think that I would be I mean, I guess

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Speaker 1: that would be. That would be my big question for

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Speaker 1: the powers that be is I mean, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: And in the show me, you don't tell me category

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Speaker 1: of life, they're showing you that they don't value these cheerleaders.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, if I were those cheerleaders, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I feel like you Viva la resistance.

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Speaker 4: I mean, like that's a strike.

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Speaker 2: Well, and here's a thing that is exactly what happened

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Speaker 2: with the cheerleaders on the Buffalo Bill's cheerleading squad. They

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Speaker 2: were known as the Buffalo Jills. They sued for wage

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Speaker 2: violations or working conditions in twenty fourteen, and the Bills

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Speaker 2: just shut down the squad entirely.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. See, that's what I'm That's what I'm wondering.

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Speaker 3: For stories like that.

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Speaker 2: It kind of feels like can in your uniform? You're done?

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Speaker 2: And by the way, do you want to be the

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Speaker 2: one girl that says, hey, should we get paid more?

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Speaker 4: It's hard. It's hard to do that.

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Speaker 2: It's very hard to do that.

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Speaker 4: Have you ever been underpaid?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean, oh for sure. I mean even

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Speaker 2: just my waitressing job back in the day. I think

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Speaker 2: about how we were paid. We were basically told like,

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Speaker 2: you don't make any money hourly and it's just going

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Speaker 2: to be from your tips and so you could have

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Speaker 2: a shift that was I mean, by the way, in

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Speaker 2: any job that I've had, you know, I feel like

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Speaker 2: there are moments where you always feel like can I

385
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Speaker 2: may is it time? And it's hard to speak out?

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Speaker 2: What about you?

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Speaker 4: I think it's very very hard to speak up.

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Speaker 1: And I think that mostly it's hard to speak up

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Speaker 1: because you're afraid to lose your job. And then if

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Speaker 1: you don't lose your job, you're pretty sure that I

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Speaker 1: don't know, like nothing's going to happen, Like what, how's

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Speaker 1: it going to change? And you'll just find someone else

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Speaker 1: to fill in for you.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's exactly what this is about. This

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Speaker 2: is about them feeling all like they're replaceable.

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Speaker 1: I'm having a hard time comparing the cheerleaders to the

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Speaker 1: football players because of how like insane the disparity is,

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Speaker 1: right like these multi million dollar contracts versus is minimum wage?

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Speaker 1: So do you like That's the part that I kind

400
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Speaker 1: of I want to get at with this management situation,

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Speaker 1: Like do they care if they lose their cheerleaders.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I think they absolutely would care if they lost

403
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Speaker 2: their cheerleaders. I mean they're they're talking at how some

404
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,360
Speaker 2: people come to the game for that right, and they're

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Speaker 2: part of the institution, the institution.

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Speaker 4: I don't love that the daughter of the owner that

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Speaker 4: runs it said what she said.

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Speaker 3: No, she's kind of the worst.

409
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Speaker 4: Actually, yeah, I think she's pretty bad.

410
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Speaker 3: And you can question k Yeah, no, I.

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Speaker 1: Really well, I think it's I think it's even worse

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Speaker 1: because of the language she uses, because I mean, wow,

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Speaker 1: even just throwing in there.

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Speaker 4: It's about a sisterhood that they're able to form. Like

415
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Speaker 4: when has the guy ever been told that he was

416
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Speaker 4: at work from the brotherhood?

417
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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god? Can you imagine?

419
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Speaker 2: Something else huge happened this week Jessica.

420
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Speaker 1: Travis Kelsey on stage at the Eras tour with Swift.

421
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Speaker 3: And he was not Yeah he was.

422
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Speaker 2: He was not in the private tent situation where he's been.

423
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Speaker 4: Doing his dance that gets at the arm up. I know.

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Speaker 4: It was very people were swoon swoon.

425
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Speaker 2: I mean, I wanted to see every angle. I wanted

426
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Speaker 2: to see if there was another angle from.

427
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Speaker 3: Five miles away from the moon. I needed to see

428
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Speaker 3: the moon.

429
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Speaker 4: I wasn't she wearing a GoPro on her head? I

430
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Speaker 4: wanted the angle.

431
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Speaker 3: I wanted we need drones. Yes, how can I ask you?

432
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Speaker 2: Because I did think of you, Because I was like,

433
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Speaker 2: if I had picked any you know, European city to

434
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Speaker 2: go to, I would have been like maybe I would

435
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Speaker 2: have gone to London.

436
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Speaker 3: But you were in Paris.

437
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 2: Do you now wish that you had been at the Trappists?

438
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Speaker 2: Oh you're a.

439
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,400
Speaker 3: Tinge of like, Oh man, I was so close.

440
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 1: I know, right, No, I mean uh I no. I

441
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Speaker 1: loved I loved our show and I loved our whole experience.

442
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: It could not have been any any any better there

443
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Speaker 1: was it was, and I got to see him, and

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Speaker 1: I did get to see I mean he They are

445
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 1: just so lovely. And I'm not one of those people who,

446
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,240
Speaker 1: like I truly am not. I don't like watch people

447
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,119
Speaker 1: from Afar and come up with me, you know in

448
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 1: my mind like what's going on? I try not to

449
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,439
Speaker 1: do that so often. But they just seem very very happy.

450
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,800
Speaker 1: And I just loved watching him. I mean, listen, Ultimately,

451
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 1: they're both performers, right, I mean, he's a football player,

452
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 1: but there's a performance aspect to what he does, and

453
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 1: he seems very good natured and very game to to

454
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 1: to have been there, and I just I don't know,

455
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:51,880
Speaker 1: I thought it.

456
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 4: Was so sweet, like it just showing up in person.

457
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:02,159
Speaker 2: Did you feel like there was like equal adoration between

458
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 2: both of them, like they were actully as yummy for

459
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 2: the other.

460
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 1: I did, I did, I did, And she just finished

461
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 1: an entire show, I mean truly like they I mean,

462
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 1: you wouldn't have known it, because she really looked like

463
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 1: she could have kept going on, but like you know,

464
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:17,400
Speaker 1: I mean sweating and like having done a three hour

465
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 1: show and of course, like you know, like you know,

466
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 1: stopping to say hi to us, which was like, oh

467
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 1: my gosh.

468
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 4: And again I don't know that my brain was really.

469
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,639
Speaker 1: Working all that well because I was also looking at Josephine,

470
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 1: like is her her eye is going to pop out

471
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 1: of her actual head? But he was just so very

472
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 1: kind and she was and there was it was just

473
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 1: very It was I Josephine and I were both like

474
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 1: super gobba smacked, and she couldn't believe that he was there,

475
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,360
Speaker 1: like really couldn't believe that he was there.

476
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 2: Was there's a trd of me that told me that

477
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 2: they're secretly engaged.

478
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 1: That's what everyone's talking about, right, Everyone wants them to

479
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 1: be engaged. They want to be pregnant, all of it.

480
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 3: Oh, the whole thing.

481
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 2: I know people are very much for amazing. The reason

482
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,639
Speaker 2: I loved about it is I feel like Travis Kelsey

483
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 2: doesn't take himself too seriously, which is very charming.

484
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 3: And he was gamed to be up there.

485
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 2: He did the little like, you know, the little blush thing,

486
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,679
Speaker 2: put her on her, trolling her to smile, and you know,

487
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 2: he's like, you know, using the little fan.

488
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,680
Speaker 3: If you guys haven't.

489
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 2: Seen this, then it's going to take you to second

490
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 2: what have you been doing? It's gonna take you two

491
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 2: seconds to see every angle alive if you go anywhere

492
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:36,440
Speaker 2: near social media. But I here's what I really love

493
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 2: about it.

494
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 3: Here's the petty in me.

495
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 2: You want to hear this? Okay, So Taylor and haven't

496
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 2: been dating for a while, and could she have bought

497
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 2: him out in Paris?

498
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 3: Sure?

499
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 2: Could she have waited? You know, she still has shows

500
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 2: in Indiana, New Orleans. She could have maybe bought him

501
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 2: out in Indiana in New Orleans, right, But she did

502
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:56,919
Speaker 2: it in London.

503
00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 4: I'm picking up what you're putting down, are you?

504
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,680
Speaker 3: Because I'm not just talking about London Boy.

505
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:06,479
Speaker 2: I'm talking about She's had a handful of Brits in

506
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 2: her past right now. She's had Calvin Harris, she's had

507
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 2: London Boy, she's had Tom hittleson there are ham And

508
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 2: I think the fact that you.

509
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 3: Oh, Matt Healey whatever his.

510
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:23,919
Speaker 2: Name is the fact that you bring him out in

511
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 2: that city the petty and me was like, oh what it?

512
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 2: Oh any city?

513
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 3: You're like, you.

514
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 2: Guys, all those exes, British axes, here's my dude.

515
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 3: He looks he's.

516
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 2: Twenty feet tall and he's game, and he's so cute

517
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 2: and the whole crowd. I mean what I mean, there's

518
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 2: no way that she did not pick that city on purpose.

519
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 2: We all know Taylor Swift is so strategic and the

520
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 2: best way possible, Jesus, the smartest way possible.

521
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 4: Jesus smarty. I loved it. I loved well. I listen.

522
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 4: I think that that very well might be. I loved

523
00:24:58,880 --> 00:24:59,359
Speaker 4: the joy.

524
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,959
Speaker 1: They looked like they were having fucking fun. And I

525
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 1: think that there's that that beginning of a relationship, or

526
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,199
Speaker 1: there's just a really good relationship where you kind of

527
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:09,920
Speaker 1: have that thing where you only have eyes for each other,

528
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 1: like when you're looking at that person, everybody goes away,

529
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 1: but usually it's not, you know, on ninety thousand people

530
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 1: and you're not on stage at Oneley Stadium.

531
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:17,960
Speaker 4: But it looked like that.

532
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 1: They looked like they were looking at each other, and

533
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 1: it did like nobody else mattered.

534
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,359
Speaker 4: And I think that that that.

535
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 1: Brand of fun and joy and magic and the fact

536
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: that they got to tell the story together that you know,

537
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,399
Speaker 1: likely she came up while sitting in front of a

538
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 1: piano and coming up with the whole story and everything else,

539
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden.

540
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 4: There they are, and it's just so cool, so so cool.

541
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,719
Speaker 1: And also I mean I think that then, like you

542
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 1: hear everybody else's opinions about it, and this you know

543
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,879
Speaker 1: all of it. And I think the thing that I

544
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 1: also was struck by was they really they really knew

545
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 1: how to take care of each other and show up

546
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 1: for each other, Like it was so apparent that that

547
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 1: was easy for them, and that's not actually an easy

548
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,359
Speaker 1: thing to do. I mean, she always makes all of

549
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,439
Speaker 1: that look really easy, but it's not easy. And he

550
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 1: got up there in that tuxedo and picked her up

551
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 1: and put her down and played the whole drama of

552
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 1: the scene. I mean I was, I mean truly, I was,

553
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,120
Speaker 1: like like literally eating popcorn on the side, just.

554
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 2: Watching, And I think that's it. I mean, obviously, it's

555
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 2: so fun, it's so romantic. We're all loving it. I'm petty,

556
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 2: and I love the like seek what wink Q to

557
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:32,199
Speaker 2: maybe any brit X, but like deeper than that, the

558
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 2: showing up for her in the way that she needs

559
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 2: clearly and is enjoying and leaning into. I think that

560
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 2: that's honestly the sexiest thing about Travis Kelsey.

561
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

562
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,560
Speaker 1: I wonder if it's because when you're in that position,

563
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 1: it probably feels like there's likely not a lot that

564
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:55,640
Speaker 1: you get to keep private, and so in a weird way,

565
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 1: it kind of would invite you to just live your

566
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 1: life out loud, Okay, Like I mean, I mean, I've

567
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 1: seen the quotes that he's given, but I love that

568
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: he's just like, this is this is who I'm in

569
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:06,879
Speaker 1: love with, this is who I'm in love with, and

570
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 1: this is like, this is where I'm at, And why

571
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 1: wouldn't I, you know, go up there and be able

572
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: to do that and say that and have that kind

573
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 1: of fun, and I think it's inspirational. I mean, maybe

574
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 1: all have people that we would show. I mean, by

575
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 1: the way, I'm sorry, let's talk about the real for

576
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 1: a second.

577
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,200
Speaker 4: Do you think he was nervous?

578
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 1: I think I would be shutting my pants if I've

579
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:27,679
Speaker 1: got my textingo on.

580
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 4: I'm standing on stage. This is not my business.

581
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 1: I now, all of a sudden, I want to lift

582
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 1: that's coming up out of nowhere, and I'm gonna go

583
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 1: back down on it again. I gotta get in the

584
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,439
Speaker 1: biggest star in the whole entire world. I'm lifting her up,

585
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 1: I'm putting her down. There's people screaming, there's cameras everywhere.

586
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,479
Speaker 3: Now wait, like I literally asked, he was walking.

587
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,439
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously it went well because I would have known.

588
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 2: I saw it after the fact that I was thinking

589
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 2: to myself, God, please on trip, Oh my god, Like

590
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 2: if you trip and you drop Taylor.

591
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 4: Swift, Oh yeah, it's over.

592
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 2: Completely. No, of course, You've got to be so nervous.

593
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 2: And now I'm gonna laugh because he does. You know,

594
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 2: he shows up to the shows a lot, and he's gonna,

595
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 2: you know, be in any show after this.

596
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 3: People are gonna know that music.

597
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 2: Break he showed up in and they're gonna be turning

598
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 2: to the private tent and eyeballing him if he leaves,

599
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:16,119
Speaker 2: because he'd stays, you know, it's not happening.

600
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 4: And oh you think that it could be a repeat performance.

601
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 3: I mean probably not that.

602
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 2: If you're there, are you praying, Yes, I'm praying, honestly,

603
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 2: I'm praying for a proposal. I'm praying for an on stage.

604
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 2: Would it be not romantic? Probably in front of everybody? Yeah, no,

605
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 2: they should do that privately. For me, Camilla Lunnington, I

606
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 2: want to be there. I want to see the I

607
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 2: want to see the lights gleaming off this giant diamond ring.

608
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 4: For her again.

609
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:45,719
Speaker 3: I want to go cry with her.

610
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 2: I want her to ask the whole audience to be

611
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 2: her bridesmaids and be part of it.

612
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 4: Get the invite, the whole thing. Yeah.

613
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 1: No, it was definitely. This was a good week in

614
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 1: the news for that situation.

615
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 2: I know people so like, how's your week going, I'm like,

616
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 2: oh my god, it was really good. So Travis Kelsey

617
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 2: got off on stage of Taylor's lift and I was like,

618
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 2: nothing to do with my family, It's more important mat

619
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 2: it's more important.

620
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

621
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 4: Here's the thing that I thought was most radically.

622
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 1: Awesome was that it wasn't just him supporting her, like

623
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 1: it felt like there was a mutual support. Like they

624
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 1: looked like they were in their own world having fun

625
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,959
Speaker 1: for each other, Like they understood each other and they

626
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 1: knew what would make the other one enjoy it even more, like.

627
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 4: They just it just like it looked like exactly like

628
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 4: a relationship. Shit, I don't know.

629
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 3: The royals were there.

630
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, And by the way, you know what I liked

631
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 2: about it is I saw did you see the video

632
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 2: of Prince William doing a little like Yes, he was.

633
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 3: Doing shake it off.

634
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 2: He was fully shaking it all.

635
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 4: I love it.

636
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 2: It was really I was like, look, I have never

637
00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 2: in my life seen Prince William gyrating.

638
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 3: To anything.

639
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 4: Hey, I have a question, are we gonna do we

640
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 4: have any fan questions today?

641
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 3: Absolutely?

642
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 2: What Ryan Bond is about to join us via zoom

643
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 2: and she says, I'm a mama to two kids under

644
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 2: five and also a full time paramedic. My fiance works

645
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 2: from home when he is mentally and physically exhausted after

646
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 2: being with the kids all day. I try to validate

647
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 2: his feelings. He always shames me and tells me you're

648
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 2: never alone with the kids for more than a few

649
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 2: hours at a time, as if I'm not working an

650
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 2: intense job to provide for our family. Is there any

651
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 2: advice you can offer for working moms trying to balance

652
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 2: work life as well as home life. This is a

653
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 2: tough one. And by the way, this is right on

654
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 2: our subject, Jess of support in relationships. Ye showing up

655
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 2: and supporting. Okay, so we need to bring it in.

656
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 2: We just read your question to our listeners. First off,

657
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 2: congratulations on having two little ones.

658
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:16,479
Speaker 3: Thank you.

659
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 2: And it sounds like you have a crazy job and

660
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 2: being a paramedic.

661
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 3: I have so much that job.

662
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 2: So tell us a little more about what's going on.

663
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 2: How long have you guys been together?

664
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 3: For five years?

665
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,959
Speaker 2: And then what is his frustration when you when you

666
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 2: try to validate his feelings? What is his what is

667
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 2: his frustration with you?

668
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 5: He doesn't think that I understand the whole aspects of

669
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 5: him being home with the kids, and you know, I'm

670
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 5: home with them for a few hours after I get

671
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 5: home from work and then they're in bed. I don't

672
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 5: I don't know why he gets so frustrated when I

673
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 5: try and uh like say that I feel him and

674
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 5: I understand. I think he just doesn't think I get

675
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 5: what he's going through.

676
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,600
Speaker 4: Have you asked him what what would feel good?

677
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 1: I mean, if validating his feelings of being you know,

678
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 1: exhausted doesn't feel yeah to him would feel good.

679
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 5: I mean, I've like offered, you know, I'll stay home,

680
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 5: you know, on sick time and take the kids, you

681
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 5: go out, you go do your thing, or take a nap,

682
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 5: but he doesn't take naps, and you know he has

683
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 5: work to.

684
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: Do and it's exhaust Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, having

685
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 1: having two kids under five is no joke. It's really

686
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 1: a lot of work for for you know, for everybody.

687
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 4: So where are you at with it now? I mean,

688
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 4: are you is it same place? Does it mostly feel

689
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 4: mad or sad.

690
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 3: For me or for him? That's question?

691
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 5: Jess. Yeah, I think for him more mad. For me,

692
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 5: I guess more sad.

693
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.

694
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 2: Both of them are already in a preschool during the day,

695
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 2: and yeah, does that take up a large chunk of

696
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 2: the day. That kind of relieves him a little bit.

697
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, I understand even and whether they're a

698
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 2: preschool for forever. It still yeah, feels like you're you know.

699
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

700
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 5: So I leave the house before anybody else is up.

701
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,719
Speaker 3: So he takes them to preschool.

702
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 5: They get dropped off at like seven, and then he

703
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 5: picks them up at like five thirty in the afternoon.

704
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 5: So from five thirty until like seven thirty unless I

705
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 5: have a late call and don't get home until later,

706
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 5: is what he has alone with them.

707
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 3: Here's something about guys.

708
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 2: I sometimes I feel like the practical works with men

709
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 2: a little bit more so it's like, what what do

710
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 2: you need? Because I'm telling you, I understand how you're feeling,

711
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 2: and you that's not helping you in any way. And

712
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,959
Speaker 2: I understand that sometimes even those two hours, by the way,

713
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 2: I call them like the twilight hours, because with kids

714
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 2: it can be really hard, yeah, and at that time,

715
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 2: and they're not easy hours even though they're just two hours.

716
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 2: I wonder if it's on Sundays, would it help if

717
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 2: I if we together food prep a little bit for

718
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 2: the kids and shove you know, makes a bunch of

719
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 2: burritos and shove it in the freezer, would that help you?

720
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 2: What is something practical we can do that will help you?

721
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,879
Speaker 1: Life partnership marriage, it's like, it's actually never, it's it's

722
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 1: always going to need your attention with regards to how

723
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 1: you communicate, right, because it's never gonna there's gonna be

724
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,839
Speaker 1: easy stuff. There's an easy times, there's gonna be hard times.

725
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 1: But how you communicate is the only thing you can

726
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 1: kind of control.

727
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 4: So the way you speak to each other.

728
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 1: And I think that that it sounds to me like

729
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,399
Speaker 1: in your letter, you know, whenever I see people say

730
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 1: always and never, I'm like, oh, we're there, right, because

731
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 1: we're at the point or were like, it's always.

732
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 4: Like this, it's never gonna be okay.

733
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 1: And when we start using words like that, I think

734
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 1: we almost done. Some level are already playing out where

735
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 1: this conversation goes right, and it doesn't allow.

736
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 4: For there to be a fix.

737
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 1: That doesn't allow there to be an opportunity to say, like,

738
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,279
Speaker 1: you know what if we try it this way, it's

739
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 1: just it's always the foregone conclusion. So I would say,

740
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:26,320
Speaker 1: first of all, like, how do you get back to

741
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:28,240
Speaker 1: rolling back.

742
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 4: The always in the nevers?

743
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:29,359
Speaker 3: Right?

744
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: Like, how do we make this so that there could

745
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 1: be a different outcome. It sounds like you guys have

746
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,880
Speaker 1: gotten into a little bit of a of a of a.

747
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 5: Recycler, and yeah, usually the conversations go the exact same

748
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 5: way every time. Yeah, so yeah, I've just gone to

749
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 5: the conclusion that that's how they're always going to go.

750
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I think that it sounds like maybe you

751
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,800
Speaker 1: need to or it could be an option to look

752
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 1: at him and say, in a quiet moment, when maybe

753
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 1: the kids are asleep, how do we hit the reset button? Like,

754
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 1: can we hit the reset button? And whether it's by

755
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: yourself and writing it down or me by myself or

756
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 1: us just calm me talking about the practical things that

757
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 1: we can do to lighten our load.

758
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 4: But I let's start with the basics.

759
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 1: I love you, and you and I were here first,

760
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 1: So how do we keep this.

761
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 5: In Yeah, we go on vacation tomorrow, so hopefully.

762
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,799
Speaker 1: Yes, Well hit the reset button. There, oh my god,

763
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,399
Speaker 1: please hit the reset button. Hit the reset button, come

764
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,800
Speaker 1: back and come back with strategy. It won't happen magically,

765
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 1: but hit the reset button, come up with the plan,

766
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 1: and then work the plan. Because also your last question,

767
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 1: it's like for working moms trying to balance work life

768
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 1: and home life. There, I'm sorry, it's my truth, but

769
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,239
Speaker 1: it's there's no balance. It's only compromise. On any given day,

770
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: you're gonna be a better mom or you're gonna be

771
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 1: a better person in the workplace. But it's never you

772
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 1: can't do both at the same time. But I actually

773
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 1: I have to say, looking at your face on the zoom,

774
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 1: I have great comfift and send you. You look like

775
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 1: someone who wants this to be better. And if you

776
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 1: have the opportunity to go away, yeah, you do.

777
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 4: You do. I can see it.

778
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:12,439
Speaker 1: So you now have an opportunity to go away and

779
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: be with and look, it's also hard to forget, like,

780
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:17,840
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, that's your boyfriend. Remember that was your

781
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 1: boyfriend before he was also the dad and everything else.

782
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:21,240
Speaker 1: So go and have some fun.

783
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:22,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

784
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 2: I also think just before we go, I think that

785
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 2: there's two things. I think that sometimes we want to say,

786
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 2: like I get it that it's so hard, But I

787
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 2: think sometimes it's helpful to say I don't get it.

788
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 2: You're right, I'm not with them as many hours as you.

789
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,319
Speaker 2: And this sounds I'm hearing from you how tough it is.

790
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 2: I'm so I can't fully understand this experience.

791
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 3: We love a zoom.

792
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 4: You hear about the vacation.

793
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:50,879
Speaker 5: Yes, I have no idea where we're going, so surprised. Yeah,

794
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 5: oh my god, passport.

795
00:37:54,080 --> 00:38:01,439
Speaker 3: Oh very romantic, like we're none.

796
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 2: If you started with that, we would have logged off

797
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 2: because this sounds amazing.

798
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:08,360
Speaker 3: We'll see, we'll see.

799
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 2: Okay, good luck with Brian to you and your family,

800
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 2: and I hope you get some relaxing time, both you

801
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 2: and your husband or fancy.

802
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 1: By Morgan wrote us, and she said a year ago,

803
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: I caught feelings for a coworker who is twelve years

804
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,320
Speaker 1: older than me. I told him my feelings in April

805
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 1: and he said he wanted to take things slow. How

806
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,399
Speaker 1: do I know if things are moving just slow enough

807
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 1: or if he's stringing me along? I have a couple

808
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 1: things to say, Well, I want.

809
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 2: To know their actual ages.

810
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 1: Well, I think maybe the most important part of the

811
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 1: story is that they are having a workplace situation, which

812
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 1: I think is very important for people to understand.

813
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:55,400
Speaker 4: Is something that is very tricky and likely.

814
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: I mean I don't know where they work, but likely

815
00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: there needs to be sort of a certain order of things,

816
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,440
Speaker 1: and I don't I think you need to take out

817
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 1: the variables of actually like I mean, if he's older

818
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 1: maybe he knows there are rules to this, maybe he

819
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:09,839
Speaker 1: does not know there are rules to this. But I

820
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: think that ultimately this is not enough to go on

821
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: and I feel like this, I feel like Morgan needs

822
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 1: to get curious and ask some more questions.

823
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean the hard thing is is like there's

824
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 2: a part of me that's just like just fucking ask

825
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 2: like are you like do you see a future or

826
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,359
Speaker 2: do you not? And I feel real instinct is like

827
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 2: we know, we ignore sometimes we ignore the instinct, but

828
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 2: we still know. And so I feel like if you

829
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 2: streight up kind of like you'll find out the answer,

830
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 2: you'll be out a tall.

831
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, there needs to be some questions. We need some

832
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: We need questions with follow up questions.

833
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 2: Why don't you read Anna? Because Anna's reminding me of

834
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:50,759
Speaker 2: our Taylor Swift Javis Kelsicker.

835
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 3: It's such a.

836
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

837
00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 1: Anna says my ex would never post me on social

838
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:58,799
Speaker 1: media ever in the.

839
00:39:58,760 --> 00:39:59,919
Speaker 4: Eight years we were together.

840
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:03,839
Speaker 1: Eight years we were together, he would post everyone else

841
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,399
Speaker 1: but me and hide me like a secret. My new

842
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 1: man posts me, flunts me and is proud to be

843
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 1: with me and show me off. Is not posting your

844
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,240
Speaker 1: significant other a red flag.

845
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, we just talked about this.

846
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 4: It's a big old, big old red flag. It's a big, big, big, big,

847
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 4: big big big one the grid.

848
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:27,080
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do like a little grid dance. This is

849
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 2: the grid.

850
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna do that. I'm not one.

851
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:34,240
Speaker 3: It's not on the grid.

852
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 2: You don't exist, it's not happening eight years and you're

853
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 2: not on the grid.

854
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 4: That actually almost seems criminal.

855
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,840
Speaker 2: Yes, And you know what, after we talked about the grid,

856
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:49,760
Speaker 2: we got a lot of responses on social media saying,

857
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm not on so and so's grid,

858
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 2: what does that mean? Or yes, I was never on

859
00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 2: the grid and it was a total red flag that

860
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 2: I ignore it, And now I realize it is a rule.

861
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 1: Yes, it's a red X. It's a big fat no.

862
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 1: So you know, it's the past. Is in the past,

863
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 1: and you don't need to like beat yourself up about it.

864
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 1: But eight years is a very long time, and.

865
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 4: Usually your grid is also just a representation of what

866
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,359
Speaker 4: you're spending your time on. So look at it that way.

867
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 4: Is he not spending his time with you if he's

868
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:23,799
Speaker 4: spending time anyone.

869
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:25,680
Speaker 2: Else on the grid. Like listen, some people use their

870
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 2: social media purely for business, right, Like it's there. They

871
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 2: own a gym and they're doing their workouts on there,

872
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 2: Like that's fine. It's a different thing. But it's all

873
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 2: if you know, Joe is on there, and Brad's on there,

874
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:42,239
Speaker 2: and you knows on there except you. Yes, it's a

875
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 2: it's a red flat. And we're talking this whole episode

876
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 2: about well some of this episode about being able to

877
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 2: show up. And I think what's super charming about Travis

878
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 2: not to go back to Travis and Taylor, but we

879
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:59,439
Speaker 2: may have to, is that it's like that public that

880
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 2: public declaration is adorable, and it looks it looks like

881
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,360
Speaker 2: those two people are in it, and you want to

882
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 2: I think it's publicly if he's posting about being in

883
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 2: it with his friends and doing other things and or

884
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,880
Speaker 2: she is and yeah, big red flag.

885
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 4: Sorry guys, Yeah.

886
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:22,239
Speaker 2: If you disagree, let us know. If you disagree, you

887
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 2: want to hear from you and tell us why.

888
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:27,839
Speaker 1: Ye ye, okay, call it crew. What are we gonna

889
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: call this? I think we're gonna call this be the

890
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:33,839
Speaker 1: end of the episode.

891
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:44,120
Speaker 3: End of the episode,