00:00:08
Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. But you're a guess to my home. You gotta come to be empty. And I said, no guests, your presences, presents, and I already had too much stuff. So how did you dare.

00:00:36
Speaker 2: To surbey mean, welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineker. I hope everything is going well in your life. I things are going pretty well for me. I had a breakfast burrito for lunch and then chicken fingers for dinner, and I just have kind of a cloud in my brain and I feel beautiful. And I drove past Linoleum City earlier and was just thinking, we need to get the word city back in business titles. Every business should be blank city. So if you're planning to open a business soon, keep that in mind. With all that said, I'm so excited. I'm thrilled about my guest, Andrew Mashan. Hello, welcome to the show.

00:01:37
Speaker 3: Cold. I just start with something that you probably will not expect. Of course, I have bought stuff from Linoleum City. You're a kidding.

00:01:44
Speaker 2: It was.

00:01:46
Speaker 3: Flooring. I did buy flooring from lino. Oh, this is amazing. YEA, when it was like maybe six months ago, maybe eight months six to eight months ago, all right, and what sort of flooring did you buy? I bought cork flo lowering squares for my camper van. Oh beautiful. I didn't know you owned a camp Yeah. It is my little secret and fully exposed. No. Yeah, I got a campra van sometime last year for camping and surfing, and I put wood floors in and have you kind of retrofitted. The whole thing is a little It's pretty. It was pretty good to go. It's a nicety. It's not I mean, I spent a lot of money. It's like a giant expense. It's a nineteen ninety three eurovans. Oh I love a eurovan.

00:02:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so it was like it felt pretty fresh, and yeah, were fresh, but they have everything.

00:02:37
Speaker 3: It's already all set up. So it has a bed up top as a pop top with the bed up top, then the bottom seats fall down into a bed. The only thing I didn't like was the carpet. You know, it was thirty years old, probably smelled a little. Yeah, it was a little you know, worse for wear. So I went to Linoleum City and I was deciding between either the linoleum rollout or some square tiles, and I got the cork square tiles. And what was the deciding factor. I had read some stuff about the cork that it is like sound dampening for the road, oh and insulating for heat and coolness. Oh yeah, you're gonna need that one. You're gonna need that. So I mean, because I've driven by the Linoleum City for years, of course I love Linolam City. It's the best name for a business all of Los Angeles. My friend was moving here and she had helped me pick up the cork flooring from Anoleam City. She's moving here from New York and she kept being like she was sending me apartments is shoes again and She's like, this one's pretty close to Thellollam City. If that's a selling port, it's the heartbeat of the city. Yeah. Like well, I that's like a score on the website walkability to Linoyam City, your morning trips to Linoleum City. And I gotta say they were very nice there. It did good business inside of Linoleum City. Did it feel like Linoleum City? It really does. I Mean there are just rows and rows of different types of Linoleum klians you didn't even know existed, and there's lots of activity. It's a buzz with a city scapees amount of activity and it really is a nice place.

00:03:58
Speaker 2: Okay, I that building Linoleum City, and then also the condemned sears on Santa Monica Boulevard to buildings that are kind of goals for me to get into the city.

00:04:11
Speaker 3: You can go in it. It's probably not like trash heaps and raccoons. They will definitely treat you like they treated me, which is like, do you want to be in Linoleum City, Like, yeah, I do, and I like some stuff and they're like okay, but they were cool. They let me borrow like ten samples to take to my van to see how it looks. This feels much better than what you would get at like a home deep Oh yeah, exactly. They were. They were good. They're specializing in Linoleum. They got lots of options. So if you need new floors or just want to put some floors on your walls, I don't know, whatever you want to do.

00:04:41
Speaker 2: Right, go to the city and are they doing carpet, are they doing wood floors or is it strictly Linoleum.

00:04:47
Speaker 3: It's actually really messed up you to ask that.

00:04:49
Speaker 2: Of course, well, observer, and I'm just gonna pry and I'm gonna pose.

00:04:55
Speaker 3: Wow, the fact that you think that Linoleum City would sell carp it is disturbing.

00:05:02
Speaker 2: Well, look, I don't think it's disturbing because I think Linoleum City, if anyone there has half a brain, they're gonna want to sell some other other flooring options.

00:05:11
Speaker 3: No, I don't know. I don't think so we only exists anymore. I feel like that's the big question. And what I bought is technically not Linoleum, right, so they have different flooring options that I don't think they have regular hardwood flowing. But I could be wrong.

00:05:22
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, now, don't take this the wrong way. But of course you own a camper man, I feel like you live a lifestyle, kind of a breezy lifestyle where you're going to be out camping and surfing this sort of.

00:05:34
Speaker 3: Yeah. So basically I used to camp all I grew up in Colorado and I camped a lot growing up. Actually, when we moved to Colorado, I was nine years old and I live in the Bay Area, and then my mom moved me and my two siblings to Colorado, and I don't think this was communicated to us, but we packed up everything, drove to Colorado and then did not have a house and camped for three months. Wow, it was really bizarre. Were you in your mom's car? No, So we were in a My mom had bought property in the eighties in rural Colorado and so in the middle of mountains. So we went to that property and they built a teepee, like some company came. I don't know how it was possible. They built a teepee and we lived in the teepee just like a circular, you know, twenty foot across tepee for three months. And it was one of the most formative periods of my life. Actually, I can only imagine. Yeah, I mean, what time of year was This is summer, So this is like I graduated. I didn't graduate. I finished third grade, graduated, and then I before the summer before fourth grade, I moved to Colorado. And yeah, we lived in the middle of the woods. It was really interesting, you know. It was like I look back on it and it was I mean, I don't know how I didn't like die. It was very dangerous, like bears would come and eat our food in the middle of the night, which was like twenty feet from our teepee. This is crazy. We would wake up and our whole campsite would just be disheveled, and there'd be bear tracks and like food would be out of their containers. And you know, I had, like my cousin a three wheeler, which I don't even think they make those. An that's a very dangerous It's like it's like a strike that is that is motorized. And I remember driving it around and I just went on some big jump and then fell completely on the ground and like cracked my teeth. And I got Rocky Mountain fever from a chip. Had Rocky Mountain really, Yes, from a tick that I got in Scout camp. We're probably the only two people in comedy had Rocky Mountain fever. Everybody else got lime disease. Was it brutal for you?

00:07:25
Speaker 2: It was breathingly bade, and it was it was a weird thing where it would go away for a minute and then it would come back.

00:07:30
Speaker 3: It was the sickest I've ever been. Yes, it was like one hundred and three degree temperature for like a week. Street yeah, so I'm sure my mom was like, well, I'm going to lose on It felt like that. And I'm in the middle of this teepee and I'm just sleeping in like a cot and I'm just hallucinating like crazy, thinking there's voices around me. It was a really bad It's like the absolute worst flu you could possibly It's unbelievable. Where was the tick? I don't know. I think I just I think just on my head or something. I don't know, do you have a specific No, it was in the head. I'm always just curious because stick smoke, you know. Yeah, I think that's where they like to hang. Oh yeah, So I got Rocky Mountain fever. And then one really funny thing is like, you know how kids have like lemonade stands and stuff. So I had a my cousin and I started a lemonade stand. But this where we lived was I'm talking the middle of a mesa. There's not houses for forty minutes. Like, it's a dirt road. There's no one in any direction. There's like you know, there's there's no infrastructure, there's no other roads are dirt. But there were a lot of mountain bikers who would bike on this road. So my friend and I, MyD my cousin, I would set up our little lemonade stand just like right on that road. So maybe these mountain bikers who were like in the middle of a twelve hour bike ride, there's just two surreally, they would be like, what do I even have cats? Like it was and we made a lot of money because every single person who stopped is just like, I haven't seen someone in six hours. I'd like to talk to you.

00:08:53
Speaker 2: So we made a lot of money sung lemonade. And let me ask the food situation. While you were living in the TP where was the food coming from?

00:09:01
Speaker 3: So my you know, the nearest town wasn't extremely far. It was about an hour away, so it wasn't like it was impossible to go to the store. So we would drive to, you know, the nearest town once a week to get supplies. We had a propane refrigerator and we would cook what we're referred to back then as hobo stews, so my family called it. We just make like take ground meat and a bunch of vegetables, put it in tinfoil and then like pack it, fold it up, and then.

00:09:25
Speaker 2: Throw it in the fire, right and I still do that to this day. I know it's a delicious I'm always maybe it's because when you're camping you're hungry already, but it always tastes incredible.

00:09:33
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:09:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so okay, you were there for three months and then your mom was.

00:09:37
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, then we had to go to school, and so you know, it's interesting to have moved to a town and I didn't know anyone because we didn't move into our rental house until the day before school started. Sure, so I didn't know a single kid. It's a very small town. It was tell you ride, Colorado is where I went to high school and stead I went to middle elementary school. And yeah, so you know, there's twenty twenty kids in the fourth grade class. It's like not a bit cool and I'm the new one.

00:10:01
Speaker 2: Wow.

00:10:02
Speaker 3: Wow.

00:10:03
Speaker 2: And let me ask you your what was your dad's thought on you all living in the TP Yeah?

00:10:08
Speaker 3: So he was he him. My parents split up when I was very young, so he didn't like us moving in general, right, he was against it, but my mom really wanted to move and she wanted to be out of California and her family was in Colorado. So I don't think he loved it. Okay, I don't really remember talking to him much that summer. Yeah, but I still have a relationship and everything.

00:10:27
Speaker 2: It's just yes because so you yeah, we'll get into it. But you recorded a podcast at as well recently. Yeah.

00:10:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, but where's the TP now? So there is you know, It's funny, is I haven't been to this property and you know, maybe ten years, if not longer than that. Actually, I think two thousand and eight was the last time I went. And over that summer we built a cabin, so my all my cousins and my grandparents and stuff. It was a really amazing time. It was like all my family was just doing it up and Colorado was really nice wildlife and we built so they built a cabin. So that cabin is done, but is they s it is the shell of a cabin. There's not there's no electricity, there's no it's not finished, and it's been unfinished for you know, that was over twenty years ago, so it's been unfinished for a long time. My mom just never got around to finishing it. Other stuff came up right, and so I hadn't been there a long time. And then my friend's comedians Musha Kasher and Natasha Giro. Yes, they were going to Colorado. They were on like a Mosha has An RV and he encouraged me to get my van and stuff. He's a good friend, and so they were driving through Colorado and they were like, oh, we just need a place to park our van in southwestern Colorado or RV. I was like, we can go to my property. And I hadn't been there a long time. Yeah, I hadn't been there in a long time. And they went and they said it was like everything was extremely overgrown. I couldn't even tell where the road was. There was there was a bear eating a deer cargets and they got really scared and they like turned around and left shut up in the middle of the night and they couldn't get their bearings in the morning. There was like a it was like a whole situation. And he was like, dude, not good to like people go there. It's like I didn't know well, But also not your fault. There are plenty of other options. Yeah, yeah, come on, yeah, yeah, So that's I think it's not quite maintained. At this point.

00:12:10
Speaker 2: I mentioned that you recorded a podcast. Oh at your dad's wedding you obviously co host podcast but outside.

00:12:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do a podcast outside where my friend Colehurst and I interview strangers on the sidewalk. How long have you been doing that for? Like thirty years or something. It's been a while, No, a year. We've watched you grow up. Yeah, yeah, it's been a year. So we just set up a little card table on the sidewalk and just talk to anyone who walks by. There is no barrier to entry. Anyone's willing to sit down. Sure, and you recorded one today. I did do one today.

00:12:41
Speaker 2: You mentioned something earlier. Is this something you can talk about it?

00:12:44
Speaker 3: I think so. I think it'll probably have already come out by the time this episode aired. So basically today we had a great time. We're on Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood and at the end of the episode, this woman came by and she was an older woman wearing like a shirt that said Palm springs a full She had a wheelchair, but her dog wasn't it but she well the dog needed it, Well the dog didn't is the crazy thing. It was a full human sized wheelchair that she was pushing and her dog, who was one year old, like a puppy was in it, and I was kind of trying to get a sense of it. She said that she broke her knee falling on a dog toy, So okay, the wheelchair was for her, but she could walk. It was confusing then, so she was rewarding the dog for break. Yeah right, exactly, she was giving him a load off. So she walks down the street and she said so and talks with us. She was amazing, probably the best guess we could ever get on our show, just like, oh, this is a woman who grew up in La and lived in Tokyo for twelve years and she was just incredible guests in every way. That's like the exact thing that we want. The whole point of our show is like to talk to folks who are otherwise not on podcasts, you know, yeah, right, I love podcasts. I listen to plenty. A lot of my friends have them and are on them. But you know, it's mostly people in entertainment and you know, actors and writers, and it's cool to just talk to some random woman who has who isn't in that world. Yeah, So that's kind of the point of it. So anyway, she to be a musician, and blah blah blah, and then we're like done with the interview and then we're like, all right, we're gonna pay you a dollar. We pay I guess a dollar. We're gonna pay you a dollar. And then she's like, well, can I say some dirt and we're like, yeah, I guess, and then she tells like a ten minute story where she basically me toos Gene Simmons from Kiss and I'm like, I'm wondering if we could err it or not. I think we can, but it's great. It's wildly Yeah. I mean I feel like you can with Gene Simmons. We're all assuming something's been going on. Yeah. The basic story is like she was in La and then she was a musician and she was like moving to New York for some job and a friend was like, oh, hang out with my friend Jean. Here's his number. She goes to New York. She calls up Gene. She doesn't know who she is, and then she I think she knew his name was Jean Simmons, but she didn't know I'm or his music for whatever reason, but he was famous at the time. And then she goes, it's just she just told me today. So she goes to you know, meet him. He's like, well, meet me on Madison Avenue and whatever street. You know. She goes there, she's waiting and then a limo pulls up, and then a guy opens the door and gets out and he's like, hey, Michelle, and she's like, oh, Jean Jean Simmons. And he's like, no one knows what I look like without my makeup. That's what he said. What year it was, I don't know. It was a long time ago. She was old.

00:15:26
Speaker 2: I kind of like to think that this was twenty eleven, right right, yeah, Simmons.

00:15:31
Speaker 3: Anyway, and then so she gets in a limo. He's like, okay, let's go to my apartment. She goes to his apartment. She goes inside, and you know, she's she stands. She's like, it's really nice in there. It's beautiful. And he's like, oh, I'm gonna I'll be right back. I'm gonna go I don't know. He just goes away from my makeup. Yeah whatever exactly. So he walks away, and then she's looking around the apartment and she sees all these picture frames that are like face down, and she's like, what's going on here, and so she lifts one up and it's a photo of Share and it's like a personal photo. It's like showing him and Share hanging out. She's like, that's kind of interesting. And then she lifts up another one and it's a I don't know who another famous musician I does have these sound like cards. It's like he's hiding his family. I don't know. And then and then oh, the plan was they were going to get dinner. That was the plan. They're going to get dinner. She doesn't know anyone in town. She does, no one in New York. So then he's like, he goes, Michelle, come in here, and she's like, okay, and she says she walks into his bedroom and he's he's sitting on his bed, fully naked, his tongue out. She said it was really long. I mean, this whole story this is it's so his tongue is out, and she's like, what are you doing? And he's like, come on, Michelle, you know you want it what And she says, I just wanted to eat dinner. And he says, I'll be the appetizer. This cannot be true. I think it's true. And then she I mean, actually it probably is one hundred percent. And then she ran out of the apartment and never saw him again. Jeez, women, that's probably that feels, you know.

00:17:03
Speaker 2: I mean, this is obviously an allegation for legal reasons, but Gene Simmons, I tend to believe the stranger you met on.

00:17:12
Speaker 3: Santa Monica Ball. I'd love to just do the podcast circuit in LA getting the story about Gene Simmons out there, still trying to get every podcast sued by people move on to ace freely. I'm just, oh, wow, that's so. I don't know, it isn't an allegation. Okay, who knows. But then I looked at his Wikipedia tonight, and he claims that he has slept with five thousand women, Right, he's one of these men who's had sex with sure have the plan. You know, it's not the worst thing. It's not like, you know, it's not the worst allegation. But you know, it sounds like he just had no boundaries and thought that everyone wanted to sleep.

00:17:47
Speaker 2: Yes, And I mean, that is extremely weird to me. But I'm still the biggest mystery to me is just a lot of photos face down. I don't know what he's doing in his apartment. Well, I think he just didn't want like this girl to know that there were other girls. And I was like, I don't know, really, you can't guess with Gane.

00:18:07
Speaker 3: No, he's a wild guest. Well, yeah, that's that's the point of our show. It's a beautiful show. I really love Yes. So this is what I like about the show. So we did one at my dad's just to finish your yes. My dad got married to a woman I had never met before, and I was like, well, I don't really and it was like, you know, a month before the wedding, they had met her six months earlier. It was a pretty fast thing. And I was like, well, I would love to do my podcast at their wedding, and I would love to not meet her until the podcast. So I asked my dad. I was like, actually, I put it on Instagram. I just like got an Instagram story. I was like, is it rude to ask my dad if I can do my podcast at his wedding? And the consensus was it was okay. So I showed up. You know, I called my dad and I was like, Hey, would it be weird if we did a podcast and he's like he's like, I thought that'd be awesome. It seems like he was reading and they asked his wife or his wife to be and she was okay with it. So basically we went to the wedding set up her table and we interviewed anyone who walked by, like my family, random members of her family, different business associates with my father. It was awesome, and then the ceremony happened, and then we did like another fifteen minutes with him and her and as his new bride, yeah, bride to be my new mom. And I interviewed her for the first time and met her for the first time, and it was awesome. And I've since hung out with her a few times and she's great.

00:19:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was of course at the live show and in her wedding dress, right, and it seems like she's into us.

00:19:27
Speaker 3: She seems she's awesome, and he's so happy. It's the happiest I've ever seen him. And it is a really cool thing, you know, to be part of. And we do do weddings now, yeah, you're now like a wedding band. I have a wedding on Saturday. Where's the wedding. It's in La Okay, they got a wedding in May and Denver. People can book us for their weddings, which is crazy, that is, but if you think about it, it's better than photos, you know, because it's all It's ways better. I think it's Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, you know, we just talked to people on this day about their relationship to the couple. We talked to the couple and yeah, it's kind of an exciting memento to have of the wedding. Of course, so we do do weddings.

00:20:01
Speaker 2: Do you do you feel like you thrive on chaos or I do like chaos.

00:20:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I'm quite good at organizing things, you know, and being kind of I'm very logical as a person. I love board games and stuff like that. So I think my brain works at like I don't know, like you have this thing over here that you have to figure out. I don't know. I'm just I'm good at that.

00:20:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, it comes across in the podcast because you it feels very smooth despite just insane thing after insane thing.

00:20:26
Speaker 3: I thank you for being so complimentary. Of course, I really appreciate that. It's sweet.

00:20:29
Speaker 2: One of my favorites. So that all aside you're on my podcast.

00:20:34
Speaker 3: I'm here now, we're indoors.

00:20:36
Speaker 2: We're indoors where it's a reasonable temperature.

00:20:39
Speaker 3: I love the vibe in here. And just your voice is so soothing. Thank you? Have you? Do you know that? Have you? I don't know?

00:20:45
Speaker 2: You know, I find my voice deeply or it's soothing. Well, God bless everyone that believes that. But I mean, I now have to listen to these episodes in order for it, for Steven to editing this sort of thing, and uh, we're.

00:20:58
Speaker 3: Not cutting anything episode. We're going to go for an extra two hours tonight. But no, the sound of my voice strives me crazy. It's great, you know, even I've known you as a friend. And then I listened to just the little two minute introduction you did. Oh sure, just for listeners. Were recording this before any episodes of it. This is the magic of kind of Hollywood. Yeah, so I listened to you a little two minute introduction, and I was like, damn, his voice is nice. I was thinking that, you know, I was thinking, oh, this is cool, Like I really liked it.

00:21:29
Speaker 2: Well, God bless, I mean, I held that somebody. I hope it's a soothing tone for someone. It is I've had a weird like, probably twice a year, I'm asked if I'm from another country, which is very odd to me, and then some people don't hear it at all. I worked at the Apple Store maybe fifteen years ago or something, and that was a more frequent thing, maybe once every two weeks someone was wondering if I was from out.

00:21:54
Speaker 3: Of the country.

00:21:55
Speaker 2: And I have never found an answer to why.

00:21:59
Speaker 3: People think that. Did you figure out where they thought you were from? No?

00:22:02
Speaker 2: Nobody ever had a guest well country, do you even think I'm coming from this fictional land you've come up for?

00:22:09
Speaker 3: Uh?

00:22:10
Speaker 2: But I need to speak to some sort of linguists or something and just ask what the deal is?

00:22:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. Well, you know what. The deal is smooth and good. The deal is smooth. It is.

00:22:23
Speaker 2: The podcast is called I said no gifts. Yeah, Andrew, I disobeyed. You disobeyed me absolutely. I gave you a rule.

00:22:33
Speaker 3: I know. I'm just like you said, I thrive on care. Yeah, it feels like you're just an age of see a rule. I'm breaking that ship. What can I say?

00:22:42
Speaker 2: And you've brought this gift it's in this kind of shiny red paper. Yeah, do you want me to open it?

00:22:48
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think that would be best. I did wrap it with the intent of being opened, and let's see how it says. I will say before I even open this. Uh.

00:22:57
Speaker 2: When we talked about you being the podcast, about a week later, you texted me and you said, do you cook? And then you you were obviously thinking a lot about what You're trying to think of what the gift would be, and you it was like a seed set or something, so you ended up saying you don't cook.

00:23:16
Speaker 3: I don't cook. My gifts is deeply embarrassed. The gift that I wanted to get was it's basically a sprout tray. So it's a tray and you buy these. It comes with these little pouches that have seeds and everything in there. And all you do is you put water in the tray and then you put the little pouch in and then sprouts grow within like seven days.

00:23:32
Speaker 2: And what are you growing like basil this sort of thing. No, they're like, you know, like sprouts at a restaurant. Oh, it's just literally sprout sprouts. Yeah, Like that's totally love those.

00:23:39
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so within seven days you have sprouted, you have sprouts and then you cut them and eat them. I put them on salads and toast and I eat them all the time and throw those on a sandwich. Yeah, it's really it's My brother got it for me as a gift a couple of years ago, and I use it all the time. Do you cook a lot?

00:23:52
Speaker 2: I do?

00:23:53
Speaker 3: Yeah? What are you cooking?

00:23:54
Speaker 2: I am asking this of a lot of people because I'm trying struggling to bring this into my You know, I don't do it.

00:24:01
Speaker 3: I don't do too elaborate. I do most often. I don't eat meat and stuff, so most often I just do vegetables and like a fake meat or tofu or something just like sturf fry okay, stirf with rice or quene one. That's why I cook most often. You know. Sometimes I have bread with like different spreads and sprouts and tomatoes and avocado and stuff like that, just like a breakfast. Like, what did you eat for dinner tonight? I have not eaten dinner yet?

00:24:23
Speaker 2: Okay, Oh yeah, I mean I should say that I truly had dinner at five thirty. I am things are going crazy.

00:24:31
Speaker 3: I did eat some olives in a coconut shake that I was slamming before I got here. Sure. Yeah, so what did you eat for dinner last night? What is today today's? You know, last night I went out for dinner, So it's not cook at home. Look, I definitely cook breakfast and lunch at my place. Almost every day. For dinner, I typically go out with friends. You know, I do stand up, so I have shows and I'll go to dinner with ries before or after, So I usually go out for those meals. Well, this is making me feel a little bit more normal. Yeah, I don't cook every meal, okay, A free I mean I don't okay, single meal, So I am a freak.

00:25:02
Speaker 2: So you eat out every meal? Well, no, I only eat out for dinner, well and lunch. But I like, I'll make protein shakes for lunch. Yeah, what about breakfast cereal? Like a protein bar? That counts cooking. You're opening a package, You're putting it on a No, I'm not putting on a plate. That would that would be a real thing to expose about myself. Yeah, so I'm just eating out for dinner. Okay, does that is that?

00:25:26
Speaker 3: Okay? I don't. It's fine. Whatever you need to do, whatever you need to do. Support the industry. Look, I'm supporting the restaurant. We do have a gift here. I also texted you, I think today, I said. I said, I'm excited to give you your gift, just checking. Is your apartment zoned for livestock breeding? And I hope that this is related.

00:25:45
Speaker 2: I hope this is a gift certificate for a horse or something. Let me open it up. Okay, I'm opening. We're getting to a layer of tissue. We're opening, We're opening, We're opening. What is this? Oh, this is some sort of Are these reusable banks? It's a reusable tote bag. This is incredible. But it looks like a single use plastic bag.

00:26:17
Speaker 3: Yes, and what is this made out of? It's like silk or something. It feels great in nice hands. So I own that same thing, and I love it. It's an embroidered it's like a it's an embroidered reusable tote bag, but it looks like a single use plastic bag. It says thank you on it in the same way that a plastic bag would, right, And I love mine. I just think it's such a nice little bag. What are you using it for? For groceries?

00:26:38
Speaker 1: You know?

00:26:39
Speaker 3: Getting trader Joe's yeah, or just you know, yeah, just if you need a bag for anything, I really like it. How do you this is my question, how do you remember the bag? Well, I just keep it in my car typically, and then if I'm getting groceries, I will fill it with groceries and then all your bars, all your bars can go.

00:26:58
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, I can throw some What else am I buying bars? Bars and ingredients for cookies?

00:27:06
Speaker 3: Yeah? You know, take it to this. You ever need a reusable bag, or you know, you're going on a trip and you're going on a I don't know, a day trip somewhere using to throw some stuff in a bag? Right, it's a beautiful, elegant bag.

00:27:16
Speaker 2: So are you like what are what else are you doing as far as eliminating your use of plastic? And this feels like something that you know, making good steps towards.

00:27:27
Speaker 3: Try you know, you know, I have a water bottle here, right, I don't know. It's so hard to think about the world and your own footprint and the inevitability of the demise of the planet. It's quite depressing.

00:27:40
Speaker 2: It can be very depressing to feel both completely powerless and also on some level to have the ability to at least change your own being.

00:27:51
Speaker 3: All right, well, let's go back to how much you love the gift.

00:27:56
Speaker 2: No, but this is something I recently, you know, I switched to metals straws. So this feels like I'm now doing two things.

00:28:02
Speaker 3: I almost got you a set of glass straws, but with glass straws, Now, that seems doubly dangerous. Ye, a metal straw.

00:28:09
Speaker 2: I'm already, like, I'm just one trip on the sidewalk away from this going through the back of my throat, and a glass straw feels like you're gonna bite it and it's gonna break in your mouth or I mean maybe.

00:28:22
Speaker 3: I mean I do bite my straws pretty hard, you know. No, I do choose straw.

00:28:27
Speaker 2: But of course I'm not chewing a metal straw, so I'm probably not gonna What does a glass straw look like? Is it like a ceramic?

00:28:33
Speaker 3: Well, it's glass, of course, it's glass. Okay, thank you. The ones that the ones that I was going to buy her like tinted glass, so they're like different shades of like yellow and orange and pink and oh cool. I got them for I got them as gifts over the holidays for like my manager.

00:28:50
Speaker 2: Oh sure, that's a nice little gift. I guess I did give somebody Pat Walsh for his wedding. I gave him reusable straws. So it's a good little gift.

00:29:00
Speaker 3: You know, everyone needs it.

00:29:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean more and more places are obviously abandoning the plastic straw. But and I'm fine with a paper straw. But now we've shifted to the weird. And I drink a lot of ice coffee the weird like sippy cup. Yeah, do you have any feelings on the sippy cup?

00:29:19
Speaker 3: Well, this I brought it like a little drink myself today that is kind of in a sippy cup. And do you spill on yourself? No, I'm constantly spilling to prevent the spill. Not for me.

00:29:31
Speaker 2: Do I need to be like sucking it?

00:29:35
Speaker 3: Are you walking down the street scribbling down my chin? It's splashing on my T shirt.

00:29:42
Speaker 2: And you're fine with it. But your's this doesn't look as uh, this feels, I mean what you have looks. Let me get a closer look at this. This feels you know I would spill on myself. I just don't know how to drink.

00:29:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.

00:29:55
Speaker 2: That could be the problem. Maybe I've depended on straws too long, that's true, and I'm sitting here with a plastic straw, I know, which is unfortunate. Have you seen the hay ones?

00:30:04
Speaker 3: The hay No? Is it just a piece of hay? Yeah, I'm fine with that. I like it. They're cool. They're really small, so they're not good for anything thick, but they're pretty cool. Who's using a hay straw? I've seen it at bars, like you know, you know, like those little straws they have in the r right red straw those have been I've seen some hay ones lately. I wouldn't do a hay straw. I've also seen pasta straw. Oh I've heard about that.

00:30:28
Speaker 2: Well, actually I'm lying, I haven't seen it. I've seen it online. Yeah, of course, but it makes perfect sense to make a good idea. Okay, so you brought me this bag. Yeah, what was the general thinking about them? I just thought, you know, it was it's a useful thing. I think it's good to give gifts that are useful, right.

00:30:47
Speaker 3: I think sometimes you get a gift that is like, Okay, this is nice, but what do I do with it? It's going to be just put away. Yeah, put away. And I don't know, I feel like everyone's buying stuff at some point. No, you don't cook a lot, but I feel like, you know, my grocery. I do buy some grocery. You get some soy milk in there, some milk. Well, I mean a theme of this podcast. As I'm buying just regularly. You know, I just thought, you know, you're gonna need to use a bag. I'm going to take it up to Albertson. Yeah, and it's and I like having a bag that I think looks good. I don't know, there's something I love a good bag. Yeah, And I don't understand why more people don't just have bags. Yeah, it feels nice to just have a bag that you I don't know. I like small. I like useful items that I appreciate, you know. I think like like this, you know this, this drink that we were talking about earlier, this little mug that I have. I just like the aesthetics of it. When I just like the way something looks, I use it more often. I feel more I don't know, attached to it emotionally. And I like that, you know, what's in this mug? This is a this is a different mushroom drinks. Yeah, one for my brain and from my being awake. Is it it's not moon juicism? No, but it's in that realm. Okay, definitely in that realm. Does it work? I think so? And because I think so, then it works? Yeah? Sure, are you making it? I just heat up water and then I pour the little mushroom powder. It's an individual package. And what is the general taste is a funky tasting. So this is a hot chocolate one chocolate and some mushrooms. Pretty good, and I have some matri of oat milk in there, a little bit of honey. Oh wow, you're really treating yourself, right, Yeah? And then you just have a water yeah. And then I just have a water which I haven't really cracked yet. But are these your only two poss Okay? This is all I have. You're kind of just a hermit cras this is all I do. Like this bag. I've been carrying a bag for a while. Now, let's see where is my bag has a UFO on it? There was a reusable bag.

00:32:55
Speaker 2: It's a reusable bag, but it's more of like a book bag. It's not for my groceries. It's sort of thing. I wanted to find a bag with just a picture of a like a mansion on it, like a tacky mansion. Impossible. I've eventually found one with a manner on it, like an English.

00:33:12
Speaker 3: Manner, quite similar.

00:33:13
Speaker 2: But then I bought it and everyone thought I it was Harry Potter merchandise, so that was immediately disposed of. Well it's not, it's the problem. No, it was just like an old English manner, and everyone just thought I had gotten to the nnivers and bought a Harry Potter bag. So I had to just go in another direction. What I'm trying to say is find a bag that looks good, feels good, and you can march around confidently.

00:33:36
Speaker 3: Well, I hope this bag does that for you. I think I'm going to I mean, is this Can you sling this over your shoulder or how does that? Yeah? I think you could sling it. I mean you can give that.

00:33:47
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna carry like a regular grocery to carry like a grocery bag. It's incredible. Yeah, I'll put it in my my purse what's essentially my purse, and then when I get to the grocery store. I take this out and fill it.

00:33:59
Speaker 3: With my grocery. That's the idea.

00:34:00
Speaker 2: Where do you do most of your grocery shopping? I go to Lassons a lot, Lessons interesting Hill. I have complicated feelings about last because of.

00:34:08
Speaker 3: The gay thing. Yeah, it's there is a gay person who works there, and everyone's mad about it. That's the gay thing that we're We're trying to read this guy. He's making everybody uncomfortable. It's like we're trying to shop. Okay, I can't be in a space with another gay person. He's a menace. Apparently the owner, big high up of Lassons. It contributes to anti gay costins. Yes, was like a big prop eight person. But then I read someone who made a tweet about like how that Lessons is independently owned and operating. Oh is this? Emily Heller tweeted something about it. Oh, I trust Emily. I've read different things, and I'm just kind of like, I don't know. I like the store, right, well, I would like a reason to be able to shop there, So maybe I need to do some justifying. Yeah, I don't know. It is bad though, I get that, no, but I guess it's just difficult I mean, being a consumer, it's hard. And then I go to the farmer's market a lot.

00:35:05
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, I mean are there any other places you'd like to shop? Do you feel morally complicated? I mean Amazon, Amazon, class that one. I mean it almost feels impossible to avoid. I mean, I don't know what to do with that so easy. I mean, what are you going to do?

00:35:28
Speaker 3: You know, you want something, it's there, and then it's at your house in five minutes ago. What are you going to do?

00:35:33
Speaker 2: I thought you were I thought you were saying it's simply so easy just not to shop on It's like, that's.

00:35:37
Speaker 3: Probably it's simply so Yes, it's truly. I mean it's right in front of me. You know, I definitely use it.

00:35:45
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do about it. And there's not an alternative. I worked for overstock dot com for a couple of years, and that's not an alternatives. Good.

00:35:56
Speaker 3: No, it's not a good website.

00:35:58
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, So what are you a do when you need, for example, forty eight batteries?

00:36:03
Speaker 3: I know, I'm not going to the store. No, you got stuff to do.

00:36:07
Speaker 2: Although I go to the store all the time, but I never buy anything, and then I go home and buy it on Amazon.

00:36:12
Speaker 3: It's just terrible. Plus, I mean my building is just rife with male thieves, Oh really, stealing things constantly. Sink. I got something stolen just last week. Oh you're kidding, what was it? Yeah? I had some AirPods delivered. Oh that's a high ticket, iyem, I know, and they just never showed up. And then I made a claim and then they're sending me new ones. They're very forgiving with that sort of thing. Yeah, why didn't I just steal it? Like? Yeah, on anything you.

00:36:39
Speaker 2: Want listener tip, say your mail was stolen and get a duplicate item delivered for pretty easy. And it's from Amazon. So when we've already discussed this, sad company. So this is a socially conscious move. Yes, this is your way to go green this year. I mean I was thinking recently that online shopping has made it. I mean, it's kind of making shoplifting obsolete. And there's a thrill to shoplifting. So I need to figure out a way to do that online.

00:37:12
Speaker 3: Right like you like, I don't know, you like added to your cart quick enough? I don't like, quickly push the button like some weird way or you somehow get away with it. Yeah, that would feel nice. I like that.

00:37:24
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like there's occasionally some glitch on a website where things are deeply discounted by mistake, and I guess that might be closing in on shoplifting, right right. I feel like I bought a lamp for like a seventy five percent off on Target by like they had something.

00:37:39
Speaker 3: Going wrong with their website, so I got a lamp for like four dollars or something. Yeah, I guess the internet does. I don't know, it does take away some of that intrigue, kind of the mystery mystery of Yeah, as a teen or I mean maybe as an adult. I'm not judging adults who shoplift. Have you ever shoplifted? You know? I never really shoplifted. I mean I would take like, yeah, I just never did. You know. All my friends were kind of like bad and I was a skater kid, and you know, I kind of was like rolled with that crowd a little bit, but we never I never shopp left it for some reason. I just didn't. I just didn't. Yeah, it didn't. I did try to do a dine and dash once, but it was a failed what happened. I was just like in college and I don't know, this's just so funny. I haven't thought about this in years. I was in college. My friend and I were just like, you know what, we're going to do a din and dash, like we're just going to do it once. I just want to try it. We're going to have a nice Italian meal making. This is just a big goal statement. It was a plan. So we're like, you know what, we're going to do it. So we used my dorm room phone, we called a restaurant, we made a reservation, We showed up. We were like, wore like nicer clothes than we normally wear, Like everything about it was like what are we doing? We had like a really nice, expensive meal. We were all e turtlenecks and yeah, exactly. We got a bill. We put the name under like I don't know, some fake name. I don't even Let's just say it was like, you know Levitt, like Thomas Leavitt. Let's just say we said that. I don't remember what we said. And then you know, we got the nice meal. It was amazing, it was beautiful. We got the check. We wrote a little thing on the check. We wrote we are dining and dashing, but thank you for the service, here's your tip, and put twenty dollars down and then we walked out. And then like I think like two days later, we got a phone call from like the security office at my college and they were like, hey, they called my dorm and they were like, hey, is mister Levitt there? And we're like, oh no, And they're like do you know mister Levitt And we're like, yeah, yeah, he's around here, he's just not here right now. And they're like, well, there was a mister Levitt who made a reservation in a restaurant from the storm room and then forgot to pay. And I was like, oh, yeah, I don't know about that. They're like, yes, the restaurant has called the college and they want their money. It was deeply embarrassed thing. And I was like, okay, well i'll tell mister Levitt when he gets back. I think the security guard like knew that it was us. So were you Did you ever pay? Yeah? We ended up in shame going to the restaurant dropping off the money.

00:40:12
Speaker 2: It was quite a shameful expense. How did the restaurant when you went back to the restaurant. How did they treat you?

00:40:18
Speaker 3: Not well, yeah, well like your shitheads or yeah, it was kind of just like, yeah, I'm sorry we forgotten. They're like, yeah, I'm sure you did. Like it was like one of those things where you both know the score. My friend and I just went back in shame and I never tried it again. Do you remember how much you had to pay? It wasn't super expensive. It was like maybe seventy dollars honestly pretty good tip.

00:40:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, tip, like solid. I really loved waiter service thirty percent. I mean, come on, you were more than generous. I'm surprised they didn't call in the authorities. I know, I you know, we got away with it. You know, maybe that's a white privileged thing.

00:40:57
Speaker 3: I don't really know. Most likely at the end of the day, you know, we learned a lesson. I don't even know why we wanted to do it. It wasn't like I think it was just there was like it was a romantic ideal in or was something romantic. I don't know. It's just like why not we need those once? Right, That's what it was, you know, And I've never you know, as an adult, like I feel like I don't do anything illegal. Like when I was a teenager. You know, I drank when I was young, and I like partied and like, I just did a lot of dumb stuff. And now that I'm an adult, I'm kind of like I don't really ever put myself in situations where I'm like worried about the law. Yeah. Yeah, that was maybe one of the last times.

00:41:32
Speaker 2: Well, I mean it's just the stakes are much higher here they are. I mean, I would encourage anyone below the age of eighteen to just shoplift. Do it everything you can, because you hit that and suddenly things change. Were you a shoplifter a little bit. I would shoplift Like there's like a in Utah. There's a chain of thrift stores called Deseret Industries, and I would go there and steal t shirts and things. But I would also donate, so I kind of justified being like I'm just.

00:42:04
Speaker 3: You know, with it a secondhand store.

00:42:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, as you said, it's owned by the Mormon Church, and it's like a whole thing as we all are, we're all under the under then of the Mormon Church. But I would choplift there. I would leave high school during class and go, you know, put a T shirt on and then put a T shirt over it, this sort of thing. And I knew there was a kid who went in, got a second hand briefcase from the store or suitcase, and filled it with clothes and walked out of the store with the entire thing.

00:42:39
Speaker 3: So who stole the briefcase?

00:42:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, the entire thing was stolen. And then I believe he stole a Burger King employee shirt, which he then used to find his way behind the counter at a Burger King and give away a bunch of food. So this person was operating on interesting level.

00:42:57
Speaker 3: He was just like people would walk up and he would just it's free today. I think he probably called all of his friends in and said, Hey, I'm funny working the burger kn't count I like that. I have a This is an acquaintance in Portland long ago who used to go to this local grocery store called New Seasons. It was kind of the lastings of Portland. Okay, it's called what New Seasons? No, New Seasons. Beautiful. It's a nice grocery store. And he would go in there every day and go to the front and go to one of the cashiers and ask for a bag and then walk around the store and fill stuff in that bag and then leave. And he did it like what every day for like a year, and then finally they were like, we've seen you doing this. You're never allowed back here.

00:43:36
Speaker 2: Oh, super mich very nice into that.

00:43:40
Speaker 3: I know, I mean, I have.

00:43:42
Speaker 2: I mean I remember a few years ago there was some leak from like Walmart that was like their security basically telling their employees don't bother anyone if they're stealing something under twenty five dollars. It's not worth our time. Sure, so I feel like most companies are like it's just difficult to prosecute shoplifter under twenty five dollars or something. So that's again another tip. Go into your local Walmart, take something under twenty five dollars and get out of there.

00:44:08
Speaker 3: It is self care.

00:44:09
Speaker 2: It's self care, and it's good for the planet. Yeah, they've taken enough from us. Go get your under twenty five for the week. Yeah, and hit the road under twenty five. That's the rule. That's the Walmart rule.

00:44:22
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:44:24
Speaker 2: Interesting, Well, shoplifting is good. We've learned that. And I want to move on to the game. Oh, do you want to play a game. I love games. I feel like I'm gonna actually give you a choice here. Do you want to play a game called Gift Master or a game called Gift or a Curse? I guess I'll do gift or a curse. Okay, I need a number from you between one and ten.

00:44:48
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to go three. You love three?

00:44:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, So while I have to go into my calculation cave and do some calculating. While I'm doing this, you're gonna I have some amount of time to promote anything you want or recommend anything you want. You can do whatever you want, but just know that you don't know how much time you have.

00:45:08
Speaker 3: I'll be right back. Well, hey, guys, I would recommend me. My name's Andrew. I'm around. You can text me. My number is seven and hit me up. And I'd love to hang out and do whatever and it might be super fun. And also I do stand up comedy. I do shows in LA I do shows around the country. I have a podcast called podcast but outside. Check that out. I like Succession. It's a good TV show. And definitely cook some food if you get a chance. You know, it's pretty nice. I'm on social media. Andrew Michean m Ichaa and difficult to spell, but once you learn it, it really improves your life. You know, sometimes we look in the mirror and we don't know who we see, and then you smile and things just seem to work out. There are people who know who have podcasts where it's just them talking. I don't know how they do it. I don't know how they do it either to just talk for a solid hour and you have to be psychotic, you have to. I mean, the value you place on your own thoughts is out of control. I just don't understand to speak to just monologue for what's going on in that brain. I don't what's evempowering that I would lose weight. I would like be shedding weight as the podcast went on. I don't know how it happens.

00:46:29
Speaker 2: And often things where it's not even a centered theme, it's just like, here's all the thoughts for.

00:46:35
Speaker 3: Every week. I just don't get making a living doing they do that? Is it is interesting that we're at a point in the universe where people make a living talking to themselves for an hour a week and that is their job. Is that the Joe Rogan experience or he has a experience with other people.

00:46:51
Speaker 2: I don't know that I could do that. It would be an interesting experiment, I wonder do I eventually start saying, maybe that's what people like about it.

00:46:58
Speaker 3: It just takes the fielders off. Yeah, okay, well we're gonna play the game.

00:47:03
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna name three things, and you're gonna tell me if they are a gift or a curse and why.

00:47:09
Speaker 3: I wish i'd said nine. Okay, it was gonna be three things either. Oh okay, got it, guys.

00:47:14
Speaker 2: It was just to randomly pick from my list of gifts. That's what I was calculating, just for everyone's information. Number one gift or a curse upstairs neighbors. You're living in an apartment upstairs neighbors, I would say more of a curse.

00:47:30
Speaker 3: Okay, why, Well, because the chances that they're going to be loud in ways that you don't like are almost one hundred percent, and then the chances that it's they're going to be great people you want to become friends with are quite low, right, So we're the what's the upside here? Okay?

00:47:48
Speaker 2: I Andrew, Unfortunately, you're absolutely right. You nailed this one. I don't know that there's anything about an upstairs neighbor that is is worth anyone's time. I mean, there's nothing good and there's nothing about an upstairs neighbor. I mean nothing you can do as the upstairs neighbor to be quiet. Yeah, they're like no matter. They're walking around. That sounds like bowling balls. They're jumping around. It sounds like a thunderstorm. If they're bowling, it sounds like walking around exactly. It's very confused. You're just down below them guessing what's going on up there. There's nothing good about an upstairs neighbor. I mean, I guess maybe you can make a friend, but it's hard to make a friend in any situation, let alone somebody who's keeping you up n I don't. I've never had a friend as an upstairs neighbor.

00:48:40
Speaker 3: I do have.

00:48:41
Speaker 2: I'm currently at the top level of my apartment building a downstairs neighbor who has somehow worse than my up than any upstairs neighbor ever could possibly what is this person doing. I think that they are using cigarettes in their fireplace way, because our apartment smells like cigarettes twenty four hours a day. There's two mean French Canadian people who are smoking at seven thirty in the morning. I'm trying to enjoy my breakfast bar and it's just NonStop smoke. I can't stand these two people and me either. So I guess the secret is, don't live in an apartment. Yeah, but if you do, what do I guess you probably usually would prefer a downstairs neighbor unless they are a chain smoker. Yeah, which and both of these people are. So I'm dealing with that. So curse all around. It's a curse neighbors, and I mean apartment neighbors in general. It just doesn't work. It's a little tough. You're kind of in a prison with these people. Okay, so you've gotten one out of one so far.

00:49:46
Speaker 3: Perfect. Here we go. Gift or a curse? The Legend of Zelda? I think a gift personally. Why I just love those games I show. I play all of them. Wait, wait, when you mean the Legend of Zelda? Do you mean the game, the Legend and other or do you mean speak the Lord? The Lord we all know about Princess Zelda. That's what I do you understand? That would be the most insane thing I ever proposed to someone just assume they're not going to think about the video game. They're just going to think about the actual story of this princess being kid. I don't know, I started to be too analytical here. I'm glad that you actually, I mean even began to think that I would say it's a gift. I love those games. They're very imaginative, they're very inventive. They're all different and yet similar. And even though you're basically doing the same thing every time on a large scale, every time feels like a journey that I want to go on. And you know what, my mom. I got my mom at a video games recently, which is crazy because she's, you know, in her sixties and she didn't had a video games before. She just beat the new Zelda on switch. I killed her. Yeah, I got it for her for Christmas and she just told me that sheets incredible. Pretty.

00:50:59
Speaker 2: I mean, it's a beautiful video. Yeah, it's a very comforting, just pleasant experience. I see her play and I'm like, you're good at this game.

00:51:07
Speaker 3: It's so great. It's good for mom. So it better be a blessing or gift.

00:51:11
Speaker 2: Andrew, It's an absolute gift to do. This is amazing. I love the legend of Zelda, of course, I mean every one of them. I think you've nailed it. It's a very comforting experience somehow, always new and charming.

00:51:27
Speaker 3: It is.

00:51:28
Speaker 2: And you know, I'm not a big you know, if there's a gun in a video game or whatever, I'm not into it.

00:51:34
Speaker 3: So I also think sort of thing the perfect level of complicated, you know, like it tests your brain just enough but not enough to be frustrating. Yes, And I think there's something nice about it always being somewhat similar because you can pick it up and understand what you need to do.

00:51:48
Speaker 2: Yes, at least to begin. You're comfortable doing it, and you might learn a new thing here or there. But yeah, yeah, I think it's an absolute gift. And I, uh, it takes up a lot of my time.

00:52:02
Speaker 3: That's great. So my problem with video games is sometimes I'll play a game and then you know, I'll play a few hours or whatever, and then I'll get busy with life and then I'll come back to it and I'm like, I don't know where I am, this is what to do? I don't know what the controls are.

00:52:13
Speaker 2: Games need to have some like last time on Yeah, I agree something to just give you a hint as to what the deal is.

00:52:21
Speaker 3: Because Zelda is so familiar, it hasn't happen with me as much.

00:52:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, certainly other video games I will definitely get into Get A week will pass and I'm like, well, no, it's just a lost cousin. I don't want to do that all over again, so I'm just not playing it. It happens to me too, Legend of Zelda. It's a gift two out of two. So this is really the you know, we're going to see what you can do with this gift to a curse surprise phone calls.

00:52:50
Speaker 3: It's tough, you know, because on the one hand, it is nice to hear from someone that you might care about, but in the other hand, you're busy, you got stuff going on, and ultimately it's a curse.

00:53:04
Speaker 2: Okay, Andrew. Unfortunately, unfortunately you're wrong. Oh, surprise phone call is a gift. It's a gift.

00:53:15
Speaker 3: Absolutely. What is there?

00:53:17
Speaker 2: I mean, there are so many layers for a surprise phone call. First, you can get one late at night from a family member. Yeah, there's the fear that one, Yeah, set your heart racing. And then hopefully it's not a bad phone call. Hopefully it's just somebody wanting to check in, but you get to have at that little bit of a look into mortality for a second. You can also have a surprise phone call from an old friend who doesn't love to hear from a dear friend.

00:53:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, the more I think about it, you're right.

00:53:45
Speaker 2: Surprise phone call from a job that you were expecting to get, and you get the job.

00:53:52
Speaker 3: Another gift.

00:53:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, you were doing so well here and then we come along to surprise phone calls on I thank you over.

00:54:00
Speaker 3: I think I ever thought. I think I got too cynical. I think the internet is very much like my phone's for texting. Don't call me, you know, I think I got too caught up in that realm when in reality I like to talk to my friends.

00:54:11
Speaker 2: You know, it's twenty twenty and we're moving back towards phone calls, right telling you everybody's going to be talking on the phone like a teen in the nineties. Yeah, I just think I messed up. When you did mess up, I already made that very clear.

00:54:25
Speaker 3: I just feel so bad now, and I you know so, and I told people earlier to call me. I gave out my number while you're doing your things and you're sitting here begging for some phone calls. I hope they still call me. Well, this feels like you betrayed yourself. I know, you know, I was on the right track earlier, and then again I got I thought too hard about it and and it really tripped me up, you know, But I'm going to go with your gut. I will revise my opinion. And I do think it is a blessing.

00:54:49
Speaker 2: Okay, keep blessing. I may have said blessing, but it is a blessing. It's a gift, it's a blessing. Everyone likes this. Actually, I'm yeah, and I am speaking for everyone. Everyone loves price. Okay, so two out of three? I mean, you were and I don't think anyone has ever gotten three out of three on this post. Did you almost did? I really thought you were going to be the first. Apologies to anyone on this who's been on this podcast that got three out of three that I've forgotten, but I'm pretty sure.

00:55:17
Speaker 3: No one has. Yeah. Well, you know, I think that's an interesting lesson, is that, you know, there's always room for growth.

00:55:23
Speaker 2: There's always I mean, maybe you come on again in the future and you learn to just trust your instincts. I am busy, you are. I cannot come back.

00:55:33
Speaker 3: I was going to say if you could come back tomorrow, I got I have some more questions for you, Andrew. You can't sit here and deny coming back on the podcast tomorrow morning. Got some phone calls to answer some surprises. Stephen.

00:55:51
Speaker 2: Has anyone ever made the reference? I mean that the podcast is recorded in front of a live Steven audience. I feel like we should start doing I mean, I think every exactly right podcast should initially start recording in front of a live Stephen audience.

00:56:06
Speaker 3: That's really good and it's true, and it's true because I mean, we're getting so much energy from Stephen here is keeping it contained? Yes, Stephen's obviously a professional, but it's every one of these episodes is in front of a live Stephen audience, and sometimes we're killing with Steven and it feels nice, fee feels good, it does it really does well.

00:56:30
Speaker 2: I mean, maybe we'll look forward to making that part of the of every episode. I said, No Gifts is recorded in front of a live Stephen audience.

00:56:39
Speaker 3: You should definitely say that.

00:56:42
Speaker 2: Who knows what the future holds it's all up in the air when you're on I said no gifts, and we're moving to the final segment. Oh beautiful this it has been such a journey, it's been an incredible churman.

00:56:54
Speaker 3: It's such a legend.

00:56:55
Speaker 2: It's been an absolute legend of Bridger. That's another thing about the legend of Zelda. You can make your naa. You get to pick your name in the game. H I could go on and on. That's another podcast altogether, but we have to answer a question. This is a part of the podcast called I said no Questions. People are writing into I said no Gifts at gmail dot com. They need help picking gifts for people in their lives, as we all do. Bosses, friends, loved ones, acquaintances upstairs, neighbors need gifts. People you're stalking. People you're stalking want they wanted to get on open the door and find a gift. There's nothing more comforting than to find an anonymous gift on.

00:57:34
Speaker 3: Your porch from your stocker.

00:57:36
Speaker 2: Yes, maybe it comes flying through your bedroom window. I don't know. That's up to the stalker. We're gonna answer a question here. Let me read it.

00:57:45
Speaker 3: Bridger.

00:57:46
Speaker 2: I asked my former boss to serve as a reference for me months ago, which she did, but then I never said thank you or sent her anything. And she has a new baby. I'm a horrible person. I need to say thank you and also make full reparations at once, without spending ten thousand dollars to hire her a private messuse and look guilty at the same time. Olivia in Oakland, this is a lot to unpack here, Olivia. I yeah, so okay, so the boss essentially boiling this down. The boss did something nice, she didn't do anything back, not even so much as a thank you card.

00:58:20
Speaker 3: So she's clearly got no understanding of how much a massage got. This is someone who she's been avoiding massages her whole life. Why would you get as I can't take out a mortgage. I uh god. These people around me getting message it's around by the million. They're wealthy.

00:58:39
Speaker 2: This poor Olivia in Oakland just needs to relax. She needs somebody to head over to the time massage. It's going to be fifty dollars and plus a tip if you're Andrew.

00:58:51
Speaker 3: If you're Andrew, you're leaving twenty dollars.

00:58:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Olivia, you want to get your boss something nice. I mean, at this point, you've you're asking a podcast for advice about what to get your boss. This all happened months ago according to you, and by my estimation, by the time you hear this, it will be your boss has forgotten you exist.

00:59:17
Speaker 3: I know, it's tough because you can't go to like, you can't get too nice of a gift, because it's kind of like a nice gift. Six months later, it's like, what is your problem? It's the boss has forgotten even happened. And I was just like, are you trying to date?

00:59:31
Speaker 1: Man?

00:59:31
Speaker 3: It's like I would have preferred an email on time as opposed to ten thousand dollars gifts six months later, it feels creepy. Thank you for the car.

00:59:40
Speaker 2: But I think, I mean, I think at this point you just uh ask her out to dinner, ask the boss out to dinner, and just pay for dinner.

00:59:49
Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't even mention that now, No, because honestly, I gotta say that could be a curse. Oh and dinner, a dinner with someone you don't want is a curse.

00:59:57
Speaker 2: That is a curse. But Andrew, we've moved to another segment. No, no, I know, just stop trying to take it back. You're not going to win the game.

01:00:03
Speaker 3: But no, I think a gift that is an obligation of hanging out with that person. If you, oh, yeah, the boss is gonna it's not good. You're right, you've got it about this mon I mean, I'm thinking about this baby thing, and you know, I think when you have a baby, one piece of advice that I've heard recently from a recent mother was that you got to focus on yourself a little bit, right because your imagy is sapping your life source so focused on the baby that it might be nice to do something for yourself. A massage is a good example off the table.

01:00:33
Speaker 2: I mean, maybe now that you have this new information that a massage isn't going to destroy you financially, maybe that's what you do.

01:00:40
Speaker 3: A massage is like one hundred dollars from a nice that's true.

01:00:43
Speaker 2: I guess like if you cheap on a massage, then your boss is going to be in some weird place and probably getting like ringworm or something.

01:00:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had ring direction. Did you get from one I was camping in the wood? Well, certainly you just went through a full your immune system. Was ihere? I forgot about that. Wow, Yeah I didn't.

01:01:03
Speaker 2: I thought you got ringworm from like wrestling mass No, it comes from dirt.

01:01:07
Speaker 3: Dirt. Yeah, I got it. You're just rolling around in the dirts on my foot. I got rid of it and went away.

01:01:11
Speaker 2: But okay, so this gift, I think, Okay, there's a new baby. So I mean, I think the the real key is to not even reference the the fact that the boss did something nice for you. At this point, you just have to do something nice for the boss, because I think if you give them something, let's assume this is twenty years after, the boss is like, what are we even talking about?

01:01:32
Speaker 3: But that's even weirder though, to just be like, hey just was thinking of you. But the baby is the excuse. The baby is in here.

01:01:39
Speaker 2: I think you say, you just you know, disguise it as I'm getting a gift for the baby for you because of the baby.

01:01:46
Speaker 3: Congratulations on the baby. Here's the gift. PS. Thanks for writing that recommendation email for me a while ago. Oh really nice of you. Yeah, it's all about the wording. Yeah, give the baby a massage. Yeah, that seems like something you could do. Yeah, there's definitely we people out there who specialize in baby massage.

01:02:02
Speaker 2: There's no question in my mind. You've got to be Olivia. I think we've we've given you a decent amount of information here, maybe just stew on that you obviously you'd like to put things off. Your boss is not going to uh, they're definitely not thinking about you or this reference at this point. So you do a surprise a year and a half from now. Yeah, who cares? Gift card?

01:02:23
Speaker 3: I don't want to get good. I mean I don't know.

01:02:27
Speaker 2: We haven't answered the question, but I mean we also don't know anything about the boss. So I was you know, there's send a send the boss a box of chocolates.

01:02:37
Speaker 3: That's good. I like that. Chocolates are good and just like a yeah, thinking of you, I think a box of chocolates. It says congratulations on the baby. Hope you enjoy these chocolates. Thanks again for writing the thing.

01:02:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just let them know you didn't get the job. Yeah, this is your last dollar. Please hire me back.

01:02:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, I need you. This is a desperate overture to get the job back. I'm trying to twenty thousand dollars so I can get too massages. A couple's massage for my boss couples.

01:03:07
Speaker 2: Okay, well a question tidally answered and Olivia, best of luck to you, and I hope that you've learned your lesson. Andrew. Speaking of thank you cards? Oh really recently on the podcast, I had Louren lap Caissan and the gift she gave me was a box of thank you cards, which was psychotic, but she it was to give to my guests. I haven't given any of my guests thank you card yet, so flattered, I'm going to give this to you now. You can read it now if you want.

01:03:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, let's see.

01:03:45
Speaker 2: I mean it was it was a little last minute thing, but I thought I should thank you.

01:03:50
Speaker 3: On the front, it says white power. Interesting yeah, with Lauren lapkist of course known racist. It says thank you so very much, and then it says Andrew. Wouldn't it be funny, by the way, if this is like a magic trick and you guess everything that we talked about, that would be an envelope. This is a magic podcast. Illusionist Bridger Wyecker brings his friends and family to Dazzle. It's like, I hope you had fun on the three wheel. You hope you got over the rig where it's just like everything we talked about and then I slit your throat and people here you just bleed out Andrew. First of all, very tidy handwriting. Oh thank you, Thank you so much for not bringing me anything. It means a lot that you heard and respected me. Okay, yours Bridger.

01:04:38
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, unfortunately, maybe I should have run it after you came, but definitely this is maybe a lesson learned from me, but I'm happy to have used it on you.

01:04:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's almost the exact opposite of a magic trick because you.

01:04:52
Speaker 2: Incorrectly I made some assumptions about your behavior tonight, and I'm I'm going to take that into account.

01:04:58
Speaker 3: These are very nice. Thank you, Lauren, Thank you Lauren Lapkus, and thank you. You know I will I will put this up in my house as a memento of how I don't follow orders and sometimes I get rewarded for it. Yeah, there you go.

01:05:12
Speaker 2: I think that that's the theme of tonight's podcast anyway. So whatever, everyone, I love you. I hope you have a great day. Maybe listen to a song in your last five minutes on the drive to work, Go in with a good attitude. Talk to your boss and thank them for something they did today.

01:05:30
Speaker 3: Goodbye, Goodbye.

01:05:32
Speaker 2: I said No Gifts isn't exactly right production. It's engineered by Earth Angel Stephen Ray Morris. The theme song is by Miracle Worker Amy Mann. You can follow the show on Instagram and Twitter. At I Said No Gifts, And if you have a question or need help getting a gift for someone in your life, email me at I Said No Gifts at gmail dot com. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you found me, and why not leave a review while you're at it?

01:06:02
Speaker 1: But I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.

01:06:10
Speaker 3: But you're I guess to my home.

01:06:14
Speaker 1: You gotta come to me empty? And I said, no, guess your own presence is presence enough. I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare to surbey me