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Speaker 1: It's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you need

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Speaker 1: advice and relationships, work, dating, sex, parenting and more, submit

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Speaker 1: your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVEYFM and click Submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: That's STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We

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Speaker 1: could be reading your letter live on the air. Just

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Speaker 1: are going to read this one right here, right now.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours.

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Speaker 3: You never know, you never know. Buckle up and hold

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Speaker 3: on tight. We got it for you here. It is

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Speaker 3: a Strawberry Letter subject. My mother and my ex are besties.

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Speaker 3: Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I've been divorced for almost three years, and I moved

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Speaker 1: away after the divorce to start anew. My husband was

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Speaker 1: an avid cheater, and my mother finally told me after

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Speaker 1: he'd been having an affair with a woman for over

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Speaker 1: six months. My mother is employed by my ex husband

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Speaker 1: as his accountant. He has two businesses that do very

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Speaker 1: well in a small town they're in. My mother was

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Speaker 1: a retired accountant when he and I met, and he

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Speaker 1: fell in love with her and he hired her. When

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Speaker 1: I say they fell in love, I mean it. Whenever

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Speaker 1: he and I would have a disagreement. She'd always tell

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Speaker 1: me to consider his point of view when he cheated.

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Speaker 1: I think she knew it all along and only told

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Speaker 1: me because my ten year old daughter.

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Speaker 2: Saw him with this woman. Excuse me.

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Speaker 1: My daughter kept referencing daddy's friend at work, so I

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Speaker 1: asked my mother and she.

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Speaker 2: Spilled the teeth.

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Speaker 1: Our relationship hasn't been the same since then, and she

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Speaker 1: said it's because I divorced my husband. Her belief is

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Speaker 1: that I should have kept my family together no matter what.

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Speaker 1: The things my husband did for his girlfriend were the

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Speaker 1: same things he did for me, So it wasn't the

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Speaker 1: cheating that got to me. It was the time he

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Speaker 1: spent with her and the trip he took her on.

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Speaker 1: I asked my mother to reconsider working for him, and

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Speaker 1: she said whatever we had going on should not affect

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Speaker 1: her money. Our own daughter doesn't talk to my ex

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Speaker 1: right now because she figured out who daddy's friend was.

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Speaker 1: My mother called recently and said she's trying to get

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Speaker 1: the family together for Thanksgiving and she wants me there.

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Speaker 2: She said, my ex will be.

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Speaker 1: There, will be doing the turkey, and she would cook

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Speaker 1: everything else. How can my own mother be so ignorant

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Speaker 1: and invite him to dinner.

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Speaker 2: Should I show up and curse them both out?

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Speaker 1: Well, you know that sounds good on paper, it really does,

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Speaker 1: But this is bad. I mean, this situation is bad,

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Speaker 1: and yes, your mom is really wrong. I don't advise

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Speaker 1: you to curse your mom out. I mean, after all,

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Speaker 1: she's all the way wrong. I agree with you one

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Speaker 1: hundred percent, but she is your mom. She's not acting

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Speaker 1: much like a mom though. I will say that, because

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Speaker 1: her loyalty should be to you at all times and

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Speaker 1: not your ex.

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Speaker 2: She he's your ex husband. She knew about it, didn't

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Speaker 2: tell you. She was keeping these secrets.

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Speaker 1: All because of money. Is that why she was doing it?

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Speaker 1: I think this had to hurt you, and this is

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Speaker 1: some kind of betrayal on your mom's part. The best

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Speaker 1: thing you could do is decline her crazy, thoughtless, inconsiderate

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Speaker 1: dinner invitation.

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Speaker 2: Just don't go. Please make your own plans for.

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Speaker 1: You and your baby girl, your daughter, maybe some friends

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Speaker 1: or whatever. But the main thing is to forget what

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Speaker 1: they have going on at the mom's house and just

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Speaker 1: let that go.

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Speaker 2: Your mother is just anyway.

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Speaker 1: After the holidays, I say, continue to distance yourself. This

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Speaker 1: is a toxic situation. Stay away from it and let

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Speaker 1: them do their thing. Let them do her if she

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Speaker 1: wants to stay over there with him. You know the

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Speaker 1: lines are crossed, the line in the sand. It's divided now.

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Speaker 1: Don't let her make you feel guilty for divorcing him.

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Speaker 1: That was a while ago, and you should. You definitely

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Speaker 1: did the wrong thing if he was doing all this

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Speaker 1: stuff that your mother said, and he obviously was. This

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Speaker 1: is just so wrong on so many levels.

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Speaker 4: Deep my mother and my ex are besties, don't I

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Speaker 4: don't get this, especially from a male perspective. I just

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Speaker 4: don't understand how this operates and functions. But when you're

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Speaker 4: talking about dysfunctional people, then it's a little bit easier.

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Speaker 4: You've been divorced for three years, you moved away to

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Speaker 4: start new your husband was a big cheater, and your

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Speaker 4: mother finally told you after having an affair with a

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Speaker 4: woman for over six months. Your mother is employed by

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Speaker 4: your ex husband as his accountant. Here's where the problem

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Speaker 4: is right here. So he's got two beers that do

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Speaker 4: very well in a small town that My mother was

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Speaker 4: a retired accountant when he and I met, and he

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Speaker 4: fell in love with her, and he hired her now

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Speaker 4: here's the problem with the letter. When I say they

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Speaker 4: fell in love, I mean it. There's a lot in

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Speaker 4: that statement, ma'am, and I don't have the time to

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Speaker 4: unpack it, but I'll just rearrange some stuff in the luggage.

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Speaker 4: Whatever he told me. Whenever we had a disagreement, the

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Speaker 4: girl's mother would always tell her to consider his point

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Speaker 4: of view. Then when the dude cheated, the lady wrote

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Speaker 4: the letter say, I think she knew it all along

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Speaker 4: and only told me because my ten year old daughter

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Speaker 4: saw him with this woman. So I'm assuming that she

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Speaker 4: had the daughter before she married the man, because she

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Speaker 4: refers to the daughter as my ten year old daughter.

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Speaker 4: And then the daughter kept referencing daddy's friend at work.

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Speaker 4: So you asked your mother and she spilled the tea

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Speaker 4: relationship hasn't been the same since then, And she said

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Speaker 4: it was because I divorced my husband and her belief

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Speaker 4: as I should have kept my family together.

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Speaker 5: No matter what.

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Speaker 4: Now, I think, ma'am, this is where you got a

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Speaker 4: little bit going on. Maybe your mother tried to stay

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Speaker 4: out of your business, didn't have solid proof like the

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Speaker 4: daughter didn't. She just saw him somewhere, and your husband

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Speaker 4: told her, this is daddy's friend from work. That's why

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Speaker 4: the daughter was refacing her the woman as daddy's friend.

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Speaker 4: Hang on, I thank your mother's just trying to stay

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Speaker 4: out of it, but I give you a real scoop.

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Speaker 5: Boy, we come back all right.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of Steve's response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter, subject

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Speaker 1: my mother and my ex are besties. We'll get back

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Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.

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Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject my mother and my ex are besties.

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Speaker 4: This woman's been divorced for three years from her husband,

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Speaker 4: who was a big cheater on her. When she met

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Speaker 4: her husband, they introduced him to her mother. Her mother

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Speaker 4: fell in love with him, and the girl says, I

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Speaker 4: mean fell in love with him.

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Speaker 5: Like I said earlier. I think there's something.

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Speaker 4: Behind that, but I don't have time to unpack that

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Speaker 4: because you didn't mention that in the letter. Your daughter,

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Speaker 4: who obviously you had before you married this man, made

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Speaker 4: a reference one day to daddy's friend at work. You

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Speaker 4: inquired to your mother about who daddy's friend was Finally

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Speaker 4: she spilled the tea. She didn't have to then, but

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Speaker 4: she said, well, and I think your mother was trying

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Speaker 4: to stay out of y'all's business because she didn't have

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Speaker 4: solid proof that the man was cheating, but she had

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Speaker 4: some inkling. So when you came to her, she told

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Speaker 4: you she think the man is cheating. And then you

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Speaker 4: all's relationship ain't been the same since because you thought

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Speaker 4: your mother should have told you right away. Well, it

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Speaker 4: ain't your mama's bus since, and I think that may

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Speaker 4: have something to do with it. But then your mother

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Speaker 4: says it's because you divorce your husband and her belief

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Speaker 4: that you should have kept your family together no matter what.

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Speaker 5: Now here's you say. Here's what you say the problem is,

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Speaker 5: you say.

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Speaker 4: The problem is the things your ex husband did for

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Speaker 4: his girlfriend were the same things he did for me.

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Speaker 4: So it wasn't the cheating that got me. It was

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Speaker 4: a time he spent with her on the trip he

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Speaker 4: took her on.

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Speaker 5: That's the cheating. See, sisters, don't that's the action.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, don't talking about No, he did the same thing

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Speaker 4: for me. That's what cheating. Is you seeing somebody? Why

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Speaker 4: are you seeing somebody else. And what do adults do

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Speaker 4: when they see each other? They spend time together. How

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Speaker 4: do they spend time together? They go somewhere. So what

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Speaker 4: you sitting a bit talking about this? The time he

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Speaker 4: spent with her, and what was they supposed to do?

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Speaker 4: Everybody don't have an affair at lunch in the backseat

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Speaker 4: of a car. He got money, he gonna do something

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Speaker 4: a little bit different, So don't talk about it's the

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Speaker 4: same things that got you.

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Speaker 5: That's what cheating is, ma'am.

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Speaker 4: You just trying to find another reason to say you

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Speaker 4: didn't keep the family together. But you don't have to.

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Speaker 4: You don't want to stay with the dude because he cheated,

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Speaker 4: that's all. Now it gets a little sticky. You came

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Speaker 4: to your ask your mother to reconsider working for him,

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Speaker 4: and she said that whatever we had going on should

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Speaker 4: not affect her money. That's an interesting state, man, Yes,

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Speaker 4: but it gets even more interesting.

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Speaker 5: Though. Our own daughter doesn't talk to my ex right now.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 4: It's our daughter, so I don't know when y'all had

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Speaker 4: the baby skip that. Don't talk to her my ex

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Speaker 4: right now because she figured out whose.

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Speaker 5: Daddy friend was.

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Speaker 4: My mother called recently and says she's trying to get

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Speaker 4: the family together for Thanksgiving and she wants me there.

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Speaker 4: Your mother is trying to repair her relationship, but she's stupid.

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Speaker 4: So she said, your ex will be doing the turkey

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Speaker 4: and she would cook everything else.

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Speaker 5: Now the now here is the thing.

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Speaker 4: The affair that the ex had is probably over. He

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Speaker 4: probably wants the best thing he ever had back. He

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Speaker 4: done went to the mother to get you back. So

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Speaker 4: now the mother says, she's trying to get the family together.

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Speaker 4: Your ex is gonna be doing the turkey and she

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Speaker 4: would cook everything else. How can my own mother be

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Speaker 4: so ignorant and invite him to dinner?

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Speaker 5: Because your mama ignorant? Okay, she's so disloyal.

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Speaker 4: Some people have mama's that's ignorant. You got one. But

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Speaker 4: now here's the danger I see in this. Should I

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Speaker 4: show up and curse them both out?

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Speaker 5: Of course?

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Speaker 4: Now why had energy to that? Why are you getting

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Speaker 4: dressed to go over there to cuss both of them out?

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Speaker 4: First of all, if I were you, I would try

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Speaker 4: to fix the relationship with my mother. That's what I

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Speaker 4: would do. That's an important relationship. She did give you life.

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Speaker 4: Now do it sound like she wrong in this?

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Speaker 5: Case. Absolutely, yeah, yes, But now if.

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Speaker 4: Your husband is not trying to get back with you,

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Speaker 4: which I think the case is. Here is the spoiler alert.

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Speaker 4: You said your husband fell in love with your mother,

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Speaker 4: and I mean fell in love.

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Speaker 5: Them.

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Speaker 4: Let me make a statement about me and ladies in

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Speaker 4: case you want to know where you're staying with the man.

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Speaker 4: If you want want to know where a man's heart is,

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Speaker 4: the holidays is where he is. If you want to

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Speaker 4: know where a man's heart is, the holidays is where

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Speaker 4: he is.

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Speaker 1: So he's where he loves the family and he still

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Speaker 1: loves hers. What you're saying, because he's over, he's going

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Speaker 1: to be over at the mom's house.

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Speaker 5: But Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, now you can take that one of two ways.

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Speaker 4: I don't think you think your mama is seeing this man,

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Speaker 4: but I do think your mother is attracted to his power.

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Speaker 2: All the money.

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Speaker 5: She said, Oh.

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Speaker 4: Wow, the power is money shore. Well, okay, he done

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Speaker 4: provided her with a job. She's told her. You should

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Speaker 4: have stayed with your family to hold your family together.

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Speaker 4: Your mama old school, all right, get together.

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Speaker 5: To find out who really stuffed in there.

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Speaker 1: All right, guys, we got to get out of here.

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Speaker 1: You can post your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter. It's

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM and check out our Strawberry Letter podcast

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Speaker 1: on demand. Okay, our Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You

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Speaker 1: can hear today's letter you're listening to Harvey Morning Show