Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want
Speaker 2: to be there.
Speaker 1: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 1: time and a terminol and gage.
Speaker 2: We want to send.
Speaker 1: You off inside.
Speaker 3: We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared or was it fine? Malborn?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do your need to ride? Ride with Karen and Chris
Speaker 2: welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 4: This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: This is Karen Kilgareth.
Speaker 2: Before we started recording, Karen gave us an assignment, which
Speaker 2: was you with your idea. You state the assignment.
Speaker 3: We all reveal one embarrassing and we all meeting Me
Speaker 3: and Chris at least does not have to be pulled
Speaker 3: into this, but we all reveal we too, reveal an
Speaker 3: embarrassing fact about ourselves, fact factoid.
Speaker 2: An embarrassing fact about myself because I've had embarrassing things
Speaker 2: happen recently. I'm just sorting through it.
Speaker 1: Oh, I can help you.
Speaker 2: It's hard to come up. Will you come up with
Speaker 2: my embarrassing fact?
Speaker 1: Yep?
Speaker 2: Okay, let me have it you vape? Oh I have?
Speaker 2: I mean that was do you not want to do
Speaker 2: it in confident? No? Everyone needs to know I have
Speaker 2: an addictive personality, and they also are proud of me
Speaker 2: for not drinking. And I've replaced it with mango slices.
Speaker 2: Sure I brag about that one. Yeah, but I've been vaping. Okay,
Speaker 2: tobacco flavored vape.
Speaker 1: You don't even do mango slice flavored.
Speaker 2: No, No, i'd figure, uh, you know, I don't want
Speaker 2: to add sweet tooth to the mix.
Speaker 3: So I was when you just admitted this because I
Speaker 3: was actually shitting on vaping and then you pulled one on.
Speaker 1: Your pockety embarrassedly, and so I was.
Speaker 3: My follow up question was, what's the like, what do
Speaker 3: you believe the benefit to be?
Speaker 1: The health benefits, well, just the reason you're doing it.
Speaker 2: I I don't know why I chose timing wise when
Speaker 2: I know the most about how bad it is for you.
Speaker 2: It turns your lungs into popcorn. As fall as I
Speaker 2: as far as I know, as falls, as far as
Speaker 2: I fall, I will have no lung capacity when I land.
Speaker 2: I am you can't go as you go, I can't.
Speaker 2: I won't have enough lung capacity to let people know
Speaker 2: I've fallen and cannot get up the worst. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: I uh, yeah, I've noticed that I still have decent
Speaker 2: lung capacity. This isn't an advertisement for it. I'm just saying, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm just embarrassed. I can't even defend it.
Speaker 1: No, you can't.
Speaker 3: Well, but lots of people, as my therapist said long ago,
Speaker 3: and I'm sure I've said on this podcast, everybody needs
Speaker 3: a little bit of oblivion, so especially these days. So
Speaker 3: if you are not drinking, you're gonna need a little something,
Speaker 3: something that gives you the old rit of Hey, I
Speaker 3: get to do what I want. Fuck you whoever person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the man, I I it's my anti establishment punk
Speaker 2: rock thing that I've been doing. I really, that's not
Speaker 2: even the reason. I think you're right. It's just I'm
Speaker 2: used to having a little reward system.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 4: And now this is it for now, its temporary.
Speaker 2: I know how dangerous it is because it's so easy
Speaker 2: to just You definitely get more nicotine than from just smoking.
Speaker 1: Sure, for sure, Well it's way better than smoking.
Speaker 3: And look, no judgments, because I have smoked on and
Speaker 3: off for a long time in the nineties.
Speaker 1: That was the coolest thing. Remember when camels came out.
Speaker 3: With wides, camel wides, Oh yeah, those big fat fucking sites.
Speaker 1: I was like, great, more of the same, please.
Speaker 2: Yeah. When I moved to Texas, it was like filters
Speaker 2: and so I started smoking filterless Turkish blend. I think
Speaker 2: it was called ouch. Yeah, just really getting after it,
Speaker 2: making up for all that lost healthy time, all.
Speaker 1: That lost healthy time that you weren't French.
Speaker 2: Yes, And I started smoking immediately, started kissing people three
Speaker 2: times on the cheek upon entering a party.
Speaker 1: And hating Americans just like what you can't do that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, saying things like I need to get back into
Speaker 2: swing dancing, but yeah, I don't have any desire. I
Speaker 2: don't think vaping would lead back to smoking again. That's
Speaker 2: the one thing I can say about it that most
Speaker 2: people would probably.
Speaker 3: Agree, right, Vaping is a step toward stop being addicted
Speaker 3: to nicotine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, even though it's more addictive than all the things
Speaker 2: I've probably ever done.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But there was a time a couple of years
Speaker 2: ago where I was dipping into the SIGs again. Yep, like, oh,
Speaker 2: I used to smoke, just like any Let me do
Speaker 2: my old tricks, you know. Yeah, flick it in the
Speaker 2: air at lens in my mouth.
Speaker 4: People clap. I want little rewards.
Speaker 1: You're a lot like a seal in that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really am. But there babalonyll on my chest.
Speaker 2: That's an otter. We all know. We all know.
Speaker 3: But maybe there's a thing that can be your next step.
Speaker 3: My only thing is I've heard so many bad things
Speaker 3: about the chemicals that are in vapes that like like
Speaker 3: scientists are like scared because kids are doing it, and
Speaker 3: it's like this is so bad for you. Yeah, so
Speaker 3: what would be a good replacement hookah pipe smoking?
Speaker 4: No, because then you.
Speaker 2: Got to go into those hookah pipe specific establishments.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's a great way to meet new people.
Speaker 4: I suppose you're right.
Speaker 1: There's a couple in Glendale that I've seen.
Speaker 2: You know. I think you're right. I gotta start frequenting
Speaker 2: these hookah bars.
Speaker 3: I feel like, in the time of COVID, a hookah
Speaker 3: bar is a terrible idea where it's like, here, I'll
Speaker 3: pick up this thing everyone's been putting their.
Speaker 2: Mouth ye communal. Yeah, everyone just gathers and puts their
Speaker 2: lips on the same bagpipe mount piece.
Speaker 3: Oh what if you instead of inhaling blew out and
Speaker 3: you could play it.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what happens. The little charcoal piece blows
Speaker 2: out and the staff yells at you. I did that
Speaker 2: at a place called the Rainforest Cafe. What yeah, I
Speaker 2: pretended I is, you know, in a Scottish funeral, and
Speaker 2: I blew into the tube and in sure enough it
Speaker 2: shot the hot embers out.
Speaker 3: And isn't the Rainforest Cafe where the mechanical gorillas and monkeys.
Speaker 2: Sing to that's the more popular one. Somehow, without a lawsuit,
Speaker 2: there was an independent Rainforest Cafe by Meltdown Comics. Oh shit,
Speaker 2: really that little you know, the little alleyway you would
Speaker 2: go to search for parking even though there was never
Speaker 2: parking back there. Yes, that there was a little building
Speaker 2: right there. Oh that was the Rainforest Cafe. And sometimes
Speaker 2: after a show we'd all go there and I would
Speaker 2: drink and somehow get home. Let's not talk about it.
Speaker 3: Oh, so you know what I'm hearing you that that
Speaker 3: of all those things, this this is slightly better. Yes,
Speaker 3: it's definitely I was gonna say safer. That's actually not true, right.
Speaker 2: No, it does not inhibit my ability to operate a
Speaker 2: motor vehicle. I mean, in that case, this podcast is
Speaker 2: more dangerous.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm operating it.
Speaker 2: I know. I don't know why I always say we
Speaker 2: here's what you don't know about as we podcast Karen Steers.
Speaker 2: But I have my left hand down there operating the pedals.
Speaker 2: This is a joint effort.
Speaker 1: And Honily's actually records from the break here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I have to watch for Are you okay
Speaker 2: down there?
Speaker 3: Hey, be careful, I'm just touched over and yet the
Speaker 3: riffing prevails.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I mean, I mean, I mean what we're
Speaker 2: this right now is a good example.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's hilarious.
Speaker 2: That was a mine right there. We need to mark that, mark.
Speaker 1: It as with a star.
Speaker 3: I need to counterbalance basically me confronting you about vaping,
Speaker 3: to do my own embarrassing things so that you don't
Speaker 3: feel bad and alone.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm I'm just because our personalities are slightly different,
Speaker 2: I will not choose yours for you.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: That's very smart of you, Yes, very smart. Yes, Oh
Speaker 3: that reminds you. That reminds me of this hilarious story
Speaker 3: you told me where Mike Gibbons. You saw Mike Gibbons
Speaker 3: and he was like, oh, the last time I saw
Speaker 3: Karen and he talked about this job we were on
Speaker 3: together and it was something that he felt bad about,
Speaker 3: and you go, I know she didn't care because I've
Speaker 3: never heard of it that maybe you told me that
Speaker 3: it made me love so hard because it really it's like, yep, yep,
Speaker 3: you know me, you know everything.
Speaker 1: I'm pissed off about it.
Speaker 4: Well, his reaction to me saying that let me know
Speaker 4: how well he knew.
Speaker 2: You as well, because he was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: I love that guy.
Speaker 3: He's there's very little he could do to get off
Speaker 3: my good list that might gibbons. But uh, I guess
Speaker 3: I will say this, M Well, I've also smoked for
Speaker 3: so truly, smoking isn't I'm not judging smoking. I'm worried
Speaker 3: about vaping for every person that does it right, So
Speaker 3: it's not that it's not like you should be a
Speaker 3: certain way. I guess I'm embarrassed because I am genuinely
Speaker 3: addicted to TikTok, including buying whatever anybody tells me to
Speaker 3: buy off TikTok.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, Okay, that's a new uh layer of the
Speaker 2: old onion.
Speaker 3: Yes, And I now get robocalls from all over the
Speaker 3: nation because they sell your data. You know what I mean,
Speaker 3: Like you basically do like a one button pay thing.
Speaker 3: Oh can you buy from somebody? They now have your data,
Speaker 3: and most companies are just like kay buy and then
Speaker 3: like those are data.
Speaker 2: That's funny. I always say I don't care that, Yeah,
Speaker 2: go ahead have my data. I haven't done any federal crimes,
Speaker 2: but I'm realizing that is why I get seven eight
Speaker 2: calls a day.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Probably it's not for signing up to that adult website
Speaker 2: in ninety eight.
Speaker 1: Right, Oh, they don't have window cleaners.
Speaker 2: Oh christ Yeah, I've noticed they're often not there. They're squeegees.
Speaker 3: They're just like because they know Tesla's are going to
Speaker 3: come in and be assholes and weeds.
Speaker 2: Well, the funny thing is I've gone in and said, hey,
Speaker 2: where are your squeegees, and they just always say they
Speaker 2: just get stolen.
Speaker 1: Oh right, that makes sense.
Speaker 2: Because if you have a squeegee and uh it's extra saliva,
Speaker 2: you have yourself a day's of business for a day.
Speaker 1: You don't need business right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's hard to be mad about it. But
Speaker 2: if you really ask nicely, they have extra squeegees in
Speaker 2: the store.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, let's see what Let's see what this guy
Speaker 3: has has to tell us.
Speaker 2: We've got two in a row, and we can put
Speaker 2: what I just said to the test. I can if
Speaker 2: they don't have them up here at this at this
Speaker 2: gas station. I almost called it a car restaurant. You know,
Speaker 2: when you can't think of the word of a thing,
Speaker 2: and you will come up with an almost.
Speaker 3: Better one because you're looking at a picture in your brain.
Speaker 3: So you're just trying to say, here's what the picture
Speaker 3: looks like, and it.
Speaker 2: Is just a car with eyes and teeth.
Speaker 1: Squeegee.
Speaker 2: Yay. Did you know the Chevron cars from the original
Speaker 2: commercial or what created the cartoon cars? No, Larry the
Speaker 2: cable truck and all that. That's a Chevron commercial turned
Speaker 2: into a franchise. Okay, I'm gonna they did great.
Speaker 4: Pause for a moment.
Speaker 3: Yeah, wow, that's so much better. Thank God, amazing job.
Speaker 1: Really good. Look how much better that looks?
Speaker 2: I mean, I really did a better job on your
Speaker 2: I mean I know that we didn't need to do
Speaker 2: my side also, but there's something about even I should
Speaker 2: really do without those streaks I've left.
Speaker 1: Oh here, we'll do this.
Speaker 2: Oh, I just you're okay, No, it's just some leaves
Speaker 2: as it's drying. I feel like this is one of
Speaker 2: my better squeegee jobs. And yeah, let's keep in mind
Speaker 2: a lot of those speckled those dots.
Speaker 4: That's tree sap.
Speaker 3: Oh. Yeah, and it's been on there for a while.
Speaker 3: I've just been pretending I don't care.
Speaker 2: I put enough elbow grease into it to where I
Speaker 2: do believe I'll be sore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we could tell.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I put my back into it.
Speaker 1: Yeah you did. I appreciate it. Yeah, it made a difference,
Speaker 1: Missy Elliott, Yeah, you can do it. Put your back
Speaker 1: into it.
Speaker 2: Am I right?
Speaker 4: Is that Missy?
Speaker 1: I don't. I couldn't say for sure.
Speaker 2: I can't say for sure. That's why I'm gonna wrap it.
Speaker 2: We made that mistake more.
Speaker 1: Than once, many many times. We've made that mistake. Yeah.
Speaker 2: You know what I've learned since we first started podcasting,
Speaker 2: what's up? And when someone's being a character, I needn't
Speaker 2: make eye contact.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's gonna.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, hey, nice hair, hat off, hat
Speaker 2: back on hair, flip buddy with my eyes, but I didn't.
Speaker 3: On the street, I thought you meant from like when
Speaker 3: James O. Doomian was doing Jesse Ventura.
Speaker 2: Get on in here, be a character with us.
Speaker 1: Don't look at him, don't look directly at him.
Speaker 2: People have actually said when I talked to them after
Speaker 2: my shows and talk to our fans, which is always
Speaker 2: a nice experience, surprisingly ninety nine percent at a time. Yes, Yeah,
Speaker 2: they're great people.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: A lot of people say do you ever think about
Speaker 2: just picking up a person? And yeah, I just kind
Speaker 2: of just a stranger. Oh on dais where we I
Speaker 2: think most people love it when we don't have guests.
Speaker 2: I mean, this is already one of our better.
Speaker 1: Episodes, but like just grabbing her and like get in here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like you when you say that, you're thinking
Speaker 2: about your how do you live in Fort Collins?
Speaker 1: And yeah, uh yeah it would be.
Speaker 3: Here's the thing that I like about it, because what
Speaker 3: they're saying is like Man on the Street can be
Speaker 3: fun and interesting.
Speaker 2: Sure it is.
Speaker 3: But as a person who's produced a lot of human
Speaker 3: interest on television, I'm here to say they're wrong about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think a lot of the Man on the Street
Speaker 3: stuff they've seen, like if it's on TikTok or if
Speaker 3: it's on a talk show or whatever, it's highly fucking produced. Yeah,
Speaker 3: they recorded like eight versions, and this is the one
Speaker 3: that actually worked.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you would think when I worked for Fuel and
Speaker 2: we just went to Venice Beach without any kind of permit,
Speaker 2: and if anyone stopped us, we'd say it was for
Speaker 2: school and they're like, oh okay, and then they'd look
Speaker 2: down on us and we'd finished the day. But there
Speaker 2: were so many times I just picked the wrong person
Speaker 2: on the wrong day, and I thought, I wonder if
Speaker 2: my bills won't be covered if this turns into a
Speaker 2: violent situation, but it never happened.
Speaker 3: Or Also, and I've said this a lot, because we've
Speaker 3: all been raised on television and everybody knows how to
Speaker 3: be on television now, where there was a time in
Speaker 3: our history where people that was not what anybody did
Speaker 3: and it was very odd. So they didn't know how
Speaker 3: to talk to a camera, they didn't know the sounds
Speaker 3: to make right, so you could actually get good Man
Speaker 3: on the street stuff because people would be authentic. Right,
Speaker 3: No one is authentic anymore because everyone's watched American Idol
Speaker 3: and Da Da Da, and they know they don't want
Speaker 3: to be this person, and they do kind of want
Speaker 3: to be this person. So the idea of getting a
Speaker 3: genuinely entertaining, authentic person is so difficult. And my thing
Speaker 3: was always my rule when we would pre produce audiences
Speaker 3: was no red headed ladies, because the red headed lady already.
Speaker 1: Wants to be the one. And I don't mean natural redheads.
Speaker 3: I mean like people see a like dyed red haired
Speaker 3: lady and go, she's fun, let's talk to her. Incorrect,
Speaker 3: that lady wants you to talk to her. Therefore you're
Speaker 3: not going to get what you're looking for.
Speaker 4: Right that otherwise she would never hat talk to me.
Speaker 3: Color done right, It's just a that I could be
Speaker 3: like now as a dyed redhead. Please don't start crying
Speaker 3: or be enraged because I'm simply talking about my experience
Speaker 3: in television producing as.
Speaker 2: That dyed redhead. Aren't you a little excited that we're
Speaker 2: talking about you right now?
Speaker 1: Jeane with two n's and an e.
Speaker 2: At the end, why do we say Genie? Sorry, redheads,
Speaker 2: I love it when you call me Genie.
Speaker 3: But I'm just saying that the best times you remember, like, oh,
Speaker 3: let's talk to this person, and they're going to be
Speaker 3: normal but also interesting. Those people don't want to be
Speaker 3: on camera, so you have to find them and make
Speaker 3: them be on camera.
Speaker 1: That's how you get the good version.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because everyone's little pocket computer is now a production
Speaker 2: studio essentially. They also are savvy enough to know. Like
Speaker 2: the time I worked for Taxi Magic and drove around
Speaker 2: in a taxi and said, hey, we'll give you your
Speaker 2: ride for free if I can ask you these trivia questions.
Speaker 2: Almost everyone said, no, thank you, I just want to
Speaker 2: ride at the airport. I'm like, yeah, that's what I
Speaker 2: won't want too, ye. And so the people in the
Speaker 2: production and the actual people that work for Taxi Magic,
Speaker 2: they're not even around anymore. So I think it's okay
Speaker 2: I talk about it. Probably we had to get their
Speaker 2: friends to show up and just and those were normal people.
Speaker 2: They're like, all right, I'm doing my friend a favor
Speaker 2: and we got great guests that way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they have to be a little on the inside
Speaker 3: in Los Angeles because you're in Los Angeles, right, Yes,
Speaker 3: that's the thing.
Speaker 1: People move here.
Speaker 3: They get into the business for a while, and oftentimes
Speaker 3: most people get out of the business but stay in
Speaker 3: the area. So when they watch some when they watch
Speaker 3: the kids from the school walk up with the camera.
Speaker 1: They've done it already. They don't want.
Speaker 3: They're not they don't think it's great.
Speaker 1: They're not excited.
Speaker 3: You're interfering with their day, and you're probably the fourth
Speaker 3: person to have done it right, because it happens a
Speaker 3: lot down.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, you should have asked me this fifteen years
Speaker 2: ago when I was trying to make it big. Now
Speaker 2: leave me alone. I'm a Union truck driver.
Speaker 3: Although I will say this, our friend Andrew Mashan and
Speaker 3: his friend whose name you might know but I can't remember,
Speaker 3: they have a podcast called podcast but Outside, which is
Speaker 3: doing great. It's a great podcast. It's a fucking hilarious
Speaker 3: idea that is so were intensive that I'm like, that's
Speaker 3: even a worse podcast than this one where they sit
Speaker 3: at a table in chairs with a sign that says
Speaker 3: podcast but Outside and talk to whoever comes up right.
Speaker 3: And I watch that thing with so much anxiety and
Speaker 3: so much old memories of horrible man on the street
Speaker 3: experiences and how many people you have to talk to
Speaker 3: to get anything usable in like a two or three
Speaker 3: minute package. It's like exhausting. But those guys have very
Speaker 3: much that.
Speaker 1: Like millennial gen z.
Speaker 3: Hey Man skateboard energy where they are very good at
Speaker 3: whatever they get they use.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and they're also disarming. They're just nice.
Speaker 2: And I've seen them talk to dangerous people potentially that
Speaker 2: are They just have a way of talking to them, Yeah,
Speaker 2: and being real with them. And I even or they've
Speaker 2: been swung at fifteen times and that just doesn't make
Speaker 2: me add make the cut?
Speaker 1: Hi? Can I get.
Speaker 3: A tall one pump hot mocha and a bottle of water.
Speaker 2: All a Grande coffee with almond milk.
Speaker 3: And a Grande coffee with almond milk on alys. That's
Speaker 3: gonna be all.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: You ordered me a coffee. I said coffee. I don't
Speaker 2: know why. I don't know why I said coffee cafe?
Speaker 2: Can I have a coffe for my friend Jacke?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 1: My god? Could you imagine if we booked Jackey on
Speaker 1: this podcast?
Speaker 2: Hey, it's what I know from reading the Secret repeatedly.
Speaker 2: If you conjure it or if you visual oh, I
Speaker 2: can't even remember the words anymore.
Speaker 1: You need some cash? Thank you?
Speaker 2: You do what I do where even though it's one dollar,
Speaker 2: you fold it?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: It was it was. See it works both ways because
Speaker 2: it looked like one folded dollar. And now she's gonna
Speaker 2: be like, oh my god, that was two.
Speaker 3: She's gonna be like, yeah, Okay, I don't mean to
Speaker 3: be depressing on this comedy podcast.
Speaker 2: No, I was just going to talk about local events.
Speaker 3: I was just gonna say, I'm just we're driving by
Speaker 3: so many buildings that were businesses that are now closed.
Speaker 4: I just keep looking at squat a bomber.
Speaker 1: That's on me.
Speaker 2: No, I uh, it is a thing. It is a thing,
Speaker 2: more so in other towns I've been to. Oh really,
Speaker 2: in Austin, it was kind of staggering and bummed me
Speaker 2: out because I went to all my favorite areas and
Speaker 2: it was entire blocks especial especially around Uto campus. Everything
Speaker 2: was closed, including these stress tests scientology area. Oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 2: everything everything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, that's it's just a we're in a kind
Speaker 3: of a time of change.
Speaker 1: And so I try not to.
Speaker 3: I try to think of it like that, like all
Speaker 3: the things that are going on right now that are
Speaker 3: so stressful and upsetting, and you know that we're looking
Speaker 3: at on social media and it's everything you look at
Speaker 3: is the worst thing. But it's also a time of change,
Speaker 3: so it's like I don't want to be I don't
Speaker 3: want to freak out or whatever.
Speaker 1: I just want to be like, Okay, that.
Speaker 3: Makes sense because it's no one can afford to have
Speaker 3: a brick and mortar business. Many people can't afford it
Speaker 3: the way they used to be able to. Now they
Speaker 3: just have to be an online business. And it works
Speaker 3: better for people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, A better way, even more positive way of looking
Speaker 2: at it is everyone's discovered you don't need a brick
Speaker 2: and mortar business, right.
Speaker 4: It's just like, why are we paying rent?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: We could be boxing these up in our kitchen, right.
Speaker 3: And then there's a bunch of people who realize that
Speaker 3: and they're like, I'm gonna box this up in my kitchen,
Speaker 3: and I get to start making a ton of money
Speaker 3: because I'm good at making you know, natural body oils
Speaker 3: or what have you, or the things, all the things
Speaker 3: I buy on TikTok.
Speaker 2: And every time you feel guilty for using Amazon, which
Speaker 2: I guess we all should, it's the number one polluter,
Speaker 2: but it's also where a lot of independent people make
Speaker 2: all their sales, right, so keep that in mind. True,
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure Amazon takes a big chunk of it,
Speaker 2: which brings it back to the part of it being
Speaker 2: a problem.
Speaker 1: But here are many problems.
Speaker 4: Do you want to have a contest who can be
Speaker 4: more bummer?
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's do. Let's do You know I'll win it.
Speaker 2: Because in every mail boxer it'll be ahead with a
Speaker 2: knife in it. See, I promised I wouldn't wrap ghetto
Speaker 2: boys layers.
Speaker 3: That's from the Joe DeRosa episode long ago. Oh wow,
Speaker 3: Remember you guys talked all about this.
Speaker 2: I gotta start listening to more hip hop me. I'm
Speaker 2: talking about the same stuff I was back then. And
Speaker 2: he has gone and become a sandwich tycoon.
Speaker 1: He's a fucking sandwich tycoon. He is he pivoted. I know.
Speaker 1: I just here's the funniest thing.
Speaker 3: So Joe DeRosa, friend of the podcast and in real life,
Speaker 3: which is podcast our real life. Sorry to tell you,
Speaker 3: but he moved back to New York from Los Angeles
Speaker 3: and I hadn't talked to him for a really long time.
Speaker 3: And then it bummed me out because I was like, Oh,
Speaker 3: is this intentional on his part?
Speaker 1: Like is he mad at me for some reason?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: That's what we all think.
Speaker 2: Great, we really we need to be comforted by the
Speaker 2: fact that no one else is thinking of anyone but themselves. Yeah.
Speaker 3: True, and Joe's thinking of himself and sandwiches. Yes, But
Speaker 3: I really was like, oh no, did I whatever the
Speaker 3: thing we all do?
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 3: I often, and I mean often, get texts from people
Speaker 3: men who don't say hey, hey, it's me Joe and
Speaker 3: then say their message. They just go us was at
Speaker 3: this concert. It made me think of you, blood of blah,
Speaker 3: text me back whatever. And I do not text any
Speaker 3: of them back because I don't know who they are.
Speaker 3: And I was like, if you're not in my current phone,
Speaker 3: there might be a reason, and I'm not falling for this.
Speaker 3: And also, you're the kind of person that wouldn't put
Speaker 3: your name into a text, and we haven't talked for
Speaker 3: a while.
Speaker 2: And for me, just so everyone knows, there's no rhyme
Speaker 2: or reason. There are some very important people in my
Speaker 2: life that I need to talk to every day and
Speaker 2: I still haven't recorded their name into my phone because
Speaker 2: I'm getting these frequent texts, so I just get lazy
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 4: It's like, well, well.
Speaker 2: We'll be corresponding tomorrow and the next day in a
Speaker 2: year or so, so wait a second, why record there?
Speaker 3: You you're basically, hey, give me them digits and begin
Speaker 3: a relationship of some sort, and.
Speaker 1: It's your preser.
Speaker 3: Well, what I'm saying is you put a phone number
Speaker 3: into your phone and never put a name in.
Speaker 2: No, never put it. The information keeps coming in.
Speaker 1: You're doing everything from memory.
Speaker 2: Right. Well, when I see them in person, I'll be like, hey, you,
Speaker 2: good to see you, because of course I don't know
Speaker 2: their name, but on my phone, to me, they're three
Speaker 2: to one oh five and eight, seven, et cetera, two four,
Speaker 2: So you know, if anything, I know them, I know
Speaker 2: them twice as well as other people.
Speaker 3: No, this is the weirdest child on. This is a
Speaker 3: second chain piece for you. Now I have to think
Speaker 3: of another one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I am very lazy about Oh the shame. I'm
Speaker 2: very lazy about recording people's names in my phone. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I don't enjoy paperwork.
Speaker 1: Hold on, there's no recording and there's no paper. It's
Speaker 1: one of the easier things.
Speaker 2: Oh you gott it. Why it's still hard for me.
Speaker 2: You type in the number, it's like, where's that plus
Speaker 2: sign so I can add a number? I always mess up,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, let me just send you a text.
Speaker 3: I have to put my strawberry pinned down. So this
Speaker 3: is too hard.
Speaker 2: Why did I buy a two handed vape?
Speaker 3: Hold it in your teeth like the penguin, like every
Speaker 3: other vapor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the vapor I have at home is just like
Speaker 2: an alto sex.
Speaker 3: It's so big and vapor and filled with carcinogens.
Speaker 2: No, come on, it's just fruit flavors. Fruit's good for you.
Speaker 1: It's fruit.
Speaker 3: Do you think you could have done a better job
Speaker 3: drawing tacos on the side of that taco truck? Yes,
Speaker 3: we look, uh, you.
Speaker 2: Know, I they aren't bad. I can just tell that
Speaker 2: all those ingredients it's clip art. Oh so some of
Speaker 2: the tacos like that. That casada is pretty good. I
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 4: It's wood cut line art.
Speaker 2: But then the other one, you see the casadia next
Speaker 2: or the tacos next to it, it's more like stipple.
Speaker 4: And then we got some cross hatching. It's a mess.
Speaker 2: I don't like it when there's a bunch of illustrations
Speaker 2: and it's like, clearly different people did them all.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, or they went to different books or clip
Speaker 3: art things exactly.
Speaker 2: I see.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not stylistically uniform.
Speaker 2: No, it's got to be uniform in style. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: glad you brought that up. Actually, it would have bothered
Speaker 2: me had we not mentioned it. Yeah, those tacos don't
Speaker 2: match that case Adilla, keep talking about phone numbers. Don't
Speaker 2: get sidetracked.
Speaker 1: Hey, how were your shows in Fort Collins?
Speaker 2: And why thank you for asking? So fun? I felt
Speaker 2: I've finally gotten a grasp on this new feeling of
Speaker 2: being super nervous before shows. Yeah, until I get that
Speaker 2: first laugh, and then I just am in control of
Speaker 2: things because my brain works a little better. So I
Speaker 2: feel like I stand up's more fun. People enjoyed that.
Speaker 2: I have a joke now where I just talk about
Speaker 2: my stand ups a little like jazz music. A lot
Speaker 2: of it's terrible, and that's just and then I get
Speaker 2: to go like and then everyone in the crowd usually
Speaker 2: yells well porn oh, and it makes me I almost cry.
Speaker 1: Cry.
Speaker 2: Well, I know why they're coming to see me, but
Speaker 2: it's just a moment that is reminding me all at
Speaker 2: once in accountable voices.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I also realize we had that listener.
Speaker 2: I always forget if you and I'm not going to
Speaker 2: ask you again to start doing stand up because I
Speaker 2: know it's not like, oh yeah, I'll just do it,
Speaker 2: but if you did, it would be a life force
Speaker 2: for you to realize, just to because I keep forgetting
Speaker 2: and then I go back out and it's all these people.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh yeah, people, it's just I don't get
Speaker 2: those reminders in town get them for some reason a
Speaker 2: little bit here and there.
Speaker 3: Right, well, I'm just gonna a group of people. Aren't
Speaker 3: gonna yell mouth for it, you like at the sorry.
Speaker 2: To say no, but it's it's been amazing. And the afterwards,
Speaker 2: hanging out and talking for at least an hour nice
Speaker 2: because I sell my little posters and I'm like, just
Speaker 2: come say hi, and everyone buys a poster, whether they
Speaker 2: want one or not, and they're so nice. And again
Speaker 2: I've been getting the Starbucks cards I did. I just
Speaker 2: want you to know that these people are coming. I
Speaker 2: I do always think like, wow, Karen needs a taste
Speaker 2: of this.
Speaker 4: I do Madison because.
Speaker 2: It is amazing. So it's been great, and uh yeah,
Speaker 2: I I didn't plan this last trip very well. I
Speaker 2: got the cheapest flight because I did you know, it
Speaker 2: was it was fun gigs. It wasn't like, you know,
Speaker 2: I do some big money gigs. Corporates boats.
Speaker 1: But I've heard the golf tournaments.
Speaker 2: Sure, yeah, I do these. I do the you know,
Speaker 2: the Christmas party for Haliburton. But this, you know, I
Speaker 2: was hanging out. I had like a nine hour layover
Speaker 2: that required me to be in the Las Vegas Airport. Hey,
Speaker 2: were you wondering if there's food ground into the carpet
Speaker 2: from four years ago? You will, you'll know once you know,
Speaker 2: the Las Vegas Airport terminal A where I saw one fight.
Speaker 2: I saw pretty much everyone was drunk. Oh yeah, just
Speaker 2: we're thrown. No one broke it up. And of course
Speaker 2: Flavor Flave was there. Why wouldn't Flavor Flave just be
Speaker 2: in the airport being clawed at by people? And he
Speaker 2: was very nice to everyone. He'd like a roll his
Speaker 2: eyes and then turn around and go yeah boy and
Speaker 2: take a selfie. And just so many big dazzled pockets
Speaker 2: of true religion genes, which I'm not being classiest or
Speaker 2: anything because those are expensive.
Speaker 1: You're reporting the facts simply with the.
Speaker 2: Flap on him, those back pockets with the with the
Speaker 2: cowboy cut flap and b dad and jams, just tons
Speaker 2: of ass jams, which.
Speaker 3: I have to say, if you're sitting in front of
Speaker 3: the old one arm bandit for seven hours, which is
Speaker 3: why you're in Las Vegas.
Speaker 1: You could pick a more comfortable pick the.
Speaker 2: Killer from the fugitive.
Speaker 1: You're just sitting in front of that actor the whole time.
Speaker 2: Even curl my wife? How was that? Curl my wife?
Speaker 1: Sterrice? And board is not the one arm.
Speaker 2: Girl, but the one arm Bandit curled my wife. I
Speaker 2: hate snakes. How's that?
Speaker 1: It's really good?
Speaker 2: Thanks?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do. It's the same.
Speaker 2: It's my John Ham. You just have to go low.
Speaker 1: Oh what can we just get a taster?
Speaker 2: I have a huge dick. Sorry, I reportedly apparently purportedly
Speaker 2: of acting. He's the Huey Lewis and famous leaders.
Speaker 3: Didn't Doug Benson have a joke about Huey Lewis's dick
Speaker 3: at that one part of the movie Shortcuts. Huey Lewis
Speaker 3: is in it and he's standing on the like Sidey
Speaker 3: pulls his dick out to pee and it's just this
Speaker 3: gigantic dick.
Speaker 4: Oh, he actually saw it.
Speaker 1: It's in the movie.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I think it is common knowledge. And if
Speaker 2: it isn't, April Richardson will remind.
Speaker 4: You that Huey Lewis.
Speaker 2: That's the news. He's got a big old meat cannon.
Speaker 2: As I wish I hadn't just said sorry, excuse me.
Speaker 1: Wait, what did you do for Halloween?
Speaker 2: I did nothing. I was.
Speaker 1: Well in Las Vegas Airport.
Speaker 2: I was not feeling well when I got home and
Speaker 2: one of my I layovers waiting for a shuttle from
Speaker 2: downtown or Union Station in Denver. I passed. I had
Speaker 2: five hours I needed to pass before I got Oh,
Speaker 2: that person's just gonna keep no. Wow. I know you
Speaker 2: have a toothache, but stop it. She had a bandage
Speaker 2: around her Yeah, it was a toothache.
Speaker 3: She had an old piece of gauze wrapped around her
Speaker 3: head because it could be a costume.
Speaker 2: When I did get on the shuttle, there was a
Speaker 2: man with her sharpened stick with a hope fake blood
Speaker 2: on it. Oh uh, And yeah it was a large
Speaker 2: I guess Buffy the vampire Slayer or a real life murderer.
Speaker 2: But he had a sharpened.
Speaker 1: Stick or a seal hunter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hey, get off my eye, baloney, pal, that's my costume.
Speaker 2: I didn't. I brought stuff to be Robert Smith from
Speaker 2: The Cure. Oh, but I didn't. I decided I just
Speaker 2: wanted to do stand up, and I did some prastic prastick,
Speaker 2: some prastic so do we They did some practice sets
Speaker 2: at a regular club where there was no dyner sores.
Speaker 1: Oh so it's Christian and they don't celebrate.
Speaker 2: Halloween, right right, so yeah, none of the heathens that
Speaker 2: listen to our podcast were there. It's just regular folks.
Speaker 2: And I need to keep doing that because I don't
Speaker 2: want to it. It makes me try a little harder
Speaker 2: when it's just a bunch of grumpy dads. So I
Speaker 2: did a couple of grumpy dad sets and the like
Speaker 2: the MC at those shows spent so much time. The
Speaker 2: first night he was the joker and he put a
Speaker 2: lot of work into his makeup. The next night he
Speaker 2: was Freddy Krueger and his daughter had done all this
Speaker 2: face makeup, and the audience was like mad or something.
Speaker 2: They didn't they wanted him to be the comedian.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not the Well.
Speaker 2: It's like, I don't know why I'm having weird sets,
Speaker 2: And it's like because you're a scary monster right.
Speaker 1: Now, Yes, you're a scary monster.
Speaker 3: That's like anyway, So anyways, what else is in the
Speaker 3: news where it's like, well, I guess what's in the news,
Speaker 3: Freddy Krueger, is that you died in the boiler room
Speaker 3: and local kids are the ones that killed you, and
Speaker 3: now you're getting a room.
Speaker 2: They couldn't get the plot from those movies out of
Speaker 2: their head, right. Yeah, it's like, I'd love to enjoy
Speaker 2: your jokes, but you killed all the counselors and the campers.
Speaker 3: You pulled beautiful young Johnny Depp down through a mattress.
Speaker 3: I'll never forget it when I first saw it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that was Johnny Depp pre you twenty one
Speaker 2: Jump Street.
Speaker 1: Yes, one of his first gigs, pre Greco.
Speaker 3: My friend Jennifer Gearing, My dear, beautiful, lifelong friend, Jennifer Geary,
Speaker 3: who we spent our parents were friends, so she was
Speaker 3: like she was my sister. Got to invite a friend
Speaker 3: every time we went somewhere, and I automatically got Jennifer Gearing.
Speaker 3: And I was always like, well, I mean, she's the
Speaker 3: one I would pick anyway, but it's I always just
Speaker 3: wanted the choice.
Speaker 1: But I would picked on.
Speaker 3: Her anyway because she was the funniest, most fun person
Speaker 3: of all time. Oh, she called me because it was
Speaker 3: her birthday. I was going to her house for her birthday.
Speaker 3: She goes, I got this movie, Karen, You're not gonna
Speaker 3: believe this guy. This guy in it, like you're not
Speaker 3: gonna believe your eyes. And then we put the movie in.
Speaker 3: We're watching it and he comes on screen and we
Speaker 3: were like, we could have believe our eyes.
Speaker 4: Just Johnny DApp as an extra well he was, he was.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was the first to die. So he was
Speaker 3: like a minor player in that movie.
Speaker 2: He was the Drew Barrymore of that movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: First Actually, there's horror fans that will.
Speaker 2: Be like, what the fuck that's the last episode? Do
Speaker 2: you need a right eye listen to? Uh? Wow, I
Speaker 2: guess I need to. I never really watched you know,
Speaker 2: I'm a Dream Warrior guy franchise. That's the only man,
Speaker 2: seriously that was interesting.
Speaker 1: She was moseying across that street.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what are you, john Wayne?
Speaker 1: I get that your skirt looks like a picnic blanket.
Speaker 1: Get the fuck out of my way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, go chase some ants with your watermelon wedge, you know,
Speaker 2: a picnic. Yeah, so, I uh, I forgot where we were.
Speaker 2: But Johnny Depp Dream Warrior, Dream Warrior franchise franchise there
Speaker 2: we haven't done. In the next subject, I am waiting
Speaker 2: for the shuttle. I to pass the time at a
Speaker 2: non alcoholic beer and I ordered a Scotch egg, something
Speaker 2: that I had once at the village Idiot Melrose and
Speaker 2: it's so delicious. You know, I'm not a huge meathead,
Speaker 2: but it is a meat encapsuled hard boiled egg yep,
Speaker 2: that is then fried. So of course it's good. And
Speaker 2: I was feeling like I needed some comfort. I didn't
Speaker 2: have my vape and I been into it and it
Speaker 2: was flavorless in a way where I was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: this is not cooked. I don't think Oh. So I
Speaker 2: didn't finish it and I didn't think about it. And
Speaker 2: I had a great show that night. And I had
Speaker 2: a beautiful hotel in Fort Collins, the Armstrong.
Speaker 4: It was haunted. And I don't need to.
Speaker 2: Know that, by the way, because I actually didn't sleep
Speaker 2: very well because every little knock in the night I
Speaker 2: thought was Emily. I looked her up online the ghost.
Speaker 2: Oh it was named Emily anyway. At check out the
Speaker 2: next day, eleven o'clock, that is right when food poisoning
Speaker 2: hit me.
Speaker 1: Oh, and I you have buried the lead this entire episode.
Speaker 2: You know, you know me, I wish I was a doctor.
Speaker 2: I've been holding this vomit and diarrhea story and the
Speaker 2: details are now going to Hello. I It's just I
Speaker 2: was in such a and I called the front desk
Speaker 2: and they understood right away. They were so sweet. I'm like, Hi,
Speaker 2: I am get it packing. I'm needing to check out
Speaker 2: of the room. But I had a Scotch egg yesterday
Speaker 2: and I know it wasn't cooked, and I'm experiencing I
Speaker 2: believe food poisoning. And they're like, oh, no, you need
Speaker 2: to be near a bathroom at all times. I knew
Speaker 2: right away, yes, but I still had to check out
Speaker 2: of my room. They gave me an extra hour, and
Speaker 2: I did as much as I could in that time.
Speaker 2: But then I was just kind of wandering the winter
Speaker 2: streets of Fort Collins, visiting each sidewalk tree. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 2: to be thankful it wasn't double duty, because oh, I
Speaker 2: was in trouble. And then I called David Rodriguez and
Speaker 2: the guy that runs the comedy ForwArt, and he let me.
Speaker 2: He said, there's a key in the back. Oh, And
Speaker 2: I went in and I, you know, and because I
Speaker 2: had a shuttle, I had my flight. It was like,
Speaker 2: I do not have time for this. Yeah, this is
Speaker 2: the worst I do. I have to stay in extra
Speaker 2: night and miss my flight. Like no. I managed to
Speaker 2: pull it off, and everywhere I just was like every
Speaker 2: time there was a restroom, whether I was an emergency
Speaker 2: or not, I just was. I was sick.
Speaker 4: You know, we all get sick. I'm not being dirty.
Speaker 1: Well, no, no food poisoning.
Speaker 3: I love talking about food poisoning because it's happened to me,
Speaker 3: I believe twice. But the most recent time it's happened,
Speaker 3: it happened.
Speaker 1: Wait, I think it's only happened once.
Speaker 2: Is it happening right now?
Speaker 1: Do you mind if I barf into this side this
Speaker 1: side pocket in my car? It was just the idea
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 3: Like it was so consistent barfing and shitting for almost
Speaker 3: forty eight hours that I was like, this is getting dangerous.
Speaker 1: I had to look up where I should know.
Speaker 3: This has to be now a medical issue at the hospital.
Speaker 1: Right because it wouldn't stop. It was so crazy.
Speaker 3: I would take little tiny SIPs of water yep, but
Speaker 3: four minutes later I'm back up.
Speaker 1: It was insanity.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So This was on Monday that I was coming
Speaker 2: back my shows. My show was on Sunday at four cons.
Speaker 2: So yesterday I was pretty whre. I don't feel amazing
Speaker 2: right now, but I did not eat at all for
Speaker 2: twenty four hours, so it was out of the question.
Speaker 2: Ygert saltines none of it, no way, no. So I
Speaker 2: just muscled through. But in the past when I've had
Speaker 2: food poisoning, that's why I'm not entirely sure. Well I
Speaker 2: did have it.
Speaker 4: I just didn't need that whole Scotch egg.
Speaker 2: It was two eggs, gott in half. It would have
Speaker 2: been to it. I just bit one. I'm like, that's
Speaker 2: not cooked. I'm not going to eat that. Had I
Speaker 2: gone through all them, I would have also had incredible
Speaker 2: abnominal sharp pain. But I didn't have that. I just
Speaker 2: it was kind of a weird fun version where I
Speaker 2: actually felt okay physically. I was joking about it. I
Speaker 2: was smiling and waving at people as I publicly momented.
Speaker 2: It was like it was as fun a version of
Speaker 2: it as as possible. It wasn't the fetal position for
Speaker 2: three days.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's about the friends you make along the
Speaker 3: way with food poisoning.
Speaker 2: I feel like I've never felt so social. It was
Speaker 2: such a weird timing. I gotta share this with everyone.
Speaker 1: You were being forced to share it with everyone.
Speaker 3: How vulnerable is it when you're just uncontrollably, uncontrollably puking
Speaker 3: on the streets.
Speaker 2: Fo Yeah, it's weird how when your orifices are open.
Speaker 2: So's your heart.
Speaker 3: Listener, if you saw Chris barfing and Fort Collins, please
Speaker 3: write in and let us just describe it to us
Speaker 3: in detail.
Speaker 2: An old town. I was wearing a pendleton. You saw me.
Speaker 2: I was the only guy. He's the only guy with
Speaker 2: luggage also, and it was cold. There was just no way.
Speaker 2: Normally you go to a park and just deal with it,
Speaker 2: but it was it was all the way winter.
Speaker 1: So that's truly terrible.
Speaker 4: Thank you, Thank you David a comedy for it, for
Speaker 4: letting me.
Speaker 2: He wasn't even there. He'd let me go in, David,
Speaker 2: And then it was hilarious because I'd be like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I have to get my shuttle and He's like, oh,
Speaker 2: that's good. Because the mayor and some reporters are coming
Speaker 2: down that they're doing like a expose on the an
Speaker 2: expose but on Scotch eggs. Yes, and thereaftermath, I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'd be a perfect interview for this, but I got
Speaker 2: to catch it playing. The Mayor's about to do the
Speaker 2: ribbon cutting ceremony and I just puke on the scissors.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Horrifying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. It was awful. Just the timing was
Speaker 2: it was so bad that it was kind of funny. Yeah, like,
Speaker 2: how is this happening at at eleven? It hit me
Speaker 2: and it was a nice hotel. So check out was
Speaker 2: at eleven and.
Speaker 3: They're like, you can have an hour. Yeah, it's just like,
Speaker 3: do you understand how food poison were she?
Speaker 2: Actually they were nice at the Armstrong. They were like,
Speaker 2: at twelve, check back in with us. But I did.
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm feeling okay, and I went down
Speaker 2: to the lobby and then I'm like, no, I'm not.
Speaker 2: And they brought me seven up and she got me
Speaker 2: a water and they kept checking on me.
Speaker 3: There and they yelled mouth worn at you.
Speaker 2: No, no, it was just the kindness of strangers. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the old fashioned they don't. They just thought I was
Speaker 2: a businessman.
Speaker 3: That's because you you save your dockors for being when
Speaker 3: you're on the road, right.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, you know, if I got a flight,
Speaker 2: got to put on the pleat front.
Speaker 1: Did you see U?
Speaker 3: I saw the picture of you at the Tattoo Coffee
Speaker 3: place where that has the Fairbanks.
Speaker 2: Now, oh, I have to give you your sweatshirt. Yeah, you
Speaker 2: that's super sweet.
Speaker 4: They gave me a sweatshirt to give you.
Speaker 1: You withhold all my gifts.
Speaker 2: I have it. I have it, and I will not
Speaker 2: hold it hostage like your four to niners gear.
Speaker 3: Wait, I still haven't given that to my dad, by
Speaker 3: the way, so oh guilty.
Speaker 2: Well it is hard, it is. It is in my car.
Speaker 2: I will give it to you right as we wrap.
Speaker 3: But are you saying they gave you a sweatshirt to
Speaker 3: give to me or you just have one of my
Speaker 3: old sweatshirts?
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, they said, here's your sweatshirt. Here
Speaker 2: is also karens oh.
Speaker 1: And look like I'm so excited.
Speaker 4: It's the one I'm wearing in that photo.
Speaker 2: It's it's got a pegasus. Yes, that is also a unicorn.
Speaker 2: I don't know what.
Speaker 1: Those are called, the peggacorn.
Speaker 2: A pegga corn and uh, you know, it just looks
Speaker 2: like kind of a cool glam like heavy metal. It says,
Speaker 2: super Sweet tattoo, and it's got the very cool illustration
Speaker 2: and it's just your size.
Speaker 3: That's great, and thank you, thank you, super not you,
Speaker 3: super Sweet Tattoo.
Speaker 2: Well you're welcome here, welcome order of my Yes, yes,
Speaker 2: it's been my pleasure, Karen.
Speaker 1: If I left the house, I would get gifts too, Yes.
Speaker 2: And I just didn't know. They said if we did
Speaker 2: a drink for Karen, would it be a mocha latte?
Speaker 2: And I'm like that sounds right. Yeah, But you know me,
Speaker 2: when we're in those drive throughs, I just think of
Speaker 2: my own orders.
Speaker 1: You're just like, what's my order?
Speaker 2: But we have to maybe for an episode go to
Speaker 2: Super Sweet Tattoo and Coffee and go in and get
Speaker 2: some drinks and get some ink done.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not afraid.
Speaker 2: I don't even care anymore. I'll get a dinosaur on
Speaker 2: my elbow or something. I'll do it. I like little
Speaker 2: tiny I'm a big fan of little like that Friday
Speaker 2: the thirteenth, like flash art day where they were doing
Speaker 2: it was like a party there. I was out of town,
Speaker 2: but h little tiny tattoos. I like how they look.
Speaker 3: Yes, I like people's tattoos these days. I think for me,
Speaker 3: it doesn't make a ton of it's too late for me.
Speaker 3: I think, although.
Speaker 2: They where is it the exact right time.
Speaker 1: Or is it perfect? As I'm in my mid fucking fifties.
Speaker 3: But I could get my salmon tattoo fixed because I
Speaker 3: have a tramp stamp that's a salmon. That is just
Speaker 3: the weirdest, dumbest alcoholic thing I've ever done.
Speaker 2: Karen, it's a lower back art piece. But yeah, I
Speaker 2: know what you're saying. At the time you got it,
Speaker 2: you were a tramp. I feel.
Speaker 3: You could get the exact same tattoo I have, and
Speaker 3: then I don't have to do anything and you have
Speaker 3: to do.
Speaker 2: It'd be funny if.
Speaker 1: I got a fish on my lower back, just a
Speaker 1: nice salmon.
Speaker 2: I I think I do want to get something there.
Speaker 2: I figure, why not? Now if we've gotten these statutes
Speaker 2: when we were younger, right now, they'd be all faded.
Speaker 5: Yeah, mine's kind of faded. Yeah it doesn't look good,
Speaker 5: kind of get a doctored up. I was going to
Speaker 5: turn my band aid back into a band aid and
Speaker 5: not a corn dog sever penis, So just fill it
Speaker 5: with some pink and lay on some black lines.
Speaker 3: And then that's what then, uhis, No, it'll be back
Speaker 3: to being a band aid.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, the original purpose. I always liked that idea.
Speaker 1: It is good.
Speaker 2: Tattoos of band aids on my knees and elbows. Yep,
Speaker 2: because you know skateboarding and stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, Oh I thought it was just kind of
Speaker 3: random and an objay, just something to stick on your Yeah.
Speaker 2: It is kind of arbitrary. It could be anything, really.
Speaker 4: But uh yeah, we'll get tattoos.
Speaker 2: It's what we'll do, okay.
Speaker 3: Or we'll go there and you can do whatever you
Speaker 3: want and I'll do whatever I want, right r Yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean the idea of having a drink.
Speaker 2: We could just meet there and go our separated not.
Speaker 3: Talk and we will not be recording, and it'll be
Speaker 3: like we're in a fight. Yeah okay, yeah, perfect, that's fine.
Speaker 2: It'll be a very special episode.
Speaker 3: And then it'll be the lost episode because we didn't
Speaker 3: record it.
Speaker 2: Oh those days are over.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, sorry I didn't. That wasn't supposed to
Speaker 3: be a joke against you at all.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, it was a it was a odd
Speaker 2: glitchy act. I I swear nothing was done wrong. It
Speaker 2: was just haunted that.
Speaker 3: Day it was haunted in a way that you and
Speaker 3: I in our moderate podcast experience had never even heard before.
Speaker 3: Or it was like it was kind of ghosty where
Speaker 3: it's like it's you and me and Tig having the
Speaker 3: greatest conversation ever, but underwater moved to tears.
Speaker 1: Yeah, or like with radio static behind it. Yeah, it's like, huh.
Speaker 2: It was bizarre because it would start to sound normal
Speaker 2: and then voices would slow down and get pixelated if
Speaker 2: you could imagine what a pixel sounds like. And yeah, just.
Speaker 4: But like actually it sounded like it was possessed.
Speaker 3: Wait a second, let's ask our engineer slash producer, mostly producer,
Speaker 3: but on at least, what do you think happened? Yes,
Speaker 3: if that's the sound.
Speaker 6: My explanation for things like that is usually your drive,
Speaker 6: your card, your rusty card is probably twoful because a
Speaker 6: lot of weird things starts to happen. That's what I
Speaker 6: always recommend, like if you're at ten hours this is
Speaker 6: very interesting podcast, Like the producer in me is.
Speaker 1: I love it inside Baseball, But if I always say, like.
Speaker 6: If you're at ten hours left on your card, reset it,
Speaker 6: because some weird stuff starts.
Speaker 2: To happen when you get closer to me, right.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that.
Speaker 3: That's why, because on Lease will tell me that well
Speaker 3: when we were doing it on Zoom, and then I'll
Speaker 3: be like, I'm down to three hours and no one
Speaker 3: can tell me what to do. And I just thought
Speaker 3: you meant it like we're going to run out of time.
Speaker 3: But I didn't realize I could actually be fucking up
Speaker 3: the record.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sorry about that.
Speaker 2: No, And back then I also was doing a lot
Speaker 2: of uh, you know, oops, I just pull it out
Speaker 2: without uh throwing it in the trash and ejecting all that. Sorry,
Speaker 2: Welcome to tech talk.
Speaker 1: I mean, guys, podcasting is hard, sorry to tell you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and for years we treated it like it was easy.
Speaker 4: You can't treat hard things like they're easy and.
Speaker 1: Expect to get every single episode.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's the story. I'm glad I got that
Speaker 2: food poisoning off my chest.
Speaker 1: I've kind of out of your butt.
Speaker 2: Just when I think I'm the one, you become one
Speaker 2: a dirty, dirty bird.
Speaker 3: I really took when I got food poisoning. I took
Speaker 3: it personally because it was I ate it. It was
Speaker 3: a Chinese chicken salad, but it was not made with lettuce.
Speaker 3: It was made with cabbage, which in and of itself
Speaker 3: is gross, and so I ingested a bunch of you
Speaker 3: coal I basically on this cabbage. I can't like when
Speaker 3: something is like with coalslaw, I'm like, ooh. And this
Speaker 3: happened easily fifteen years ago, and it's still that thing
Speaker 3: of like when you're in a violent barfing situation.
Speaker 1: You don't forget it.
Speaker 2: No, don't. And I will forever blame the Scotch Eggs,
Speaker 2: Eggs and General and the Scottish people. Yes, and I,
Speaker 2: you know, much like the time I've got so she
Speaker 2: would have been in a hospital hungover. It was something
Speaker 2: called Southern comfort, which I've never been able to even smell.
Speaker 2: Oh that drink, that's not even a drink. It's a
Speaker 2: bathroom cleansing syrup. It is syrupy cleanser. And I still
Speaker 2: I still remember what it tastes like. This guy wanted
Speaker 2: to fight me. No, this was No, this wasn't one
Speaker 2: of those many many times I've punched a mirror and
Speaker 2: said I don't like the lookie cutting your gea basshole. Wait,
Speaker 2: that's me too late, too late, my hands cut. No,
Speaker 2: this was a dude that was later became an acquaintance.
Speaker 2: But this night he had a problem with me just
Speaker 2: because I was there and I didn't have an outlet.
Speaker 2: So I was being sarcastic and rude, and.
Speaker 1: That's what Southern Comfort's all about.
Speaker 2: And then instead of we got the fight was broken up.
Speaker 2: It was just a pushing thing. I went to an
Speaker 2: after party and wouldn't you know, in the living room
Speaker 2: was the same exact guy only and so rather than fight,
Speaker 2: he handed me this bottle of Southern Comfort and we
Speaker 2: drank it out. And I did not know that what
Speaker 2: I was drinking. I was a young man. It was
Speaker 2: like ninety proof and I got. I should have been
Speaker 2: in a hospital. I was sick for many days.
Speaker 5: It was.
Speaker 2: Terrible experience. Yeah, that guy he passed away. Oh you know,
Speaker 2: most of my stories he either got to end with
Speaker 2: a laugh or end with a sad or drive it directly.
Speaker 1: Down into the right. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's important, just gonna leave a story idly.
Speaker 3: No, let's not stay neutral, and certainly let's not relieve
Speaker 3: anybody's previous sadness.
Speaker 1: Yes, let's remind them there's more sadness in the world.
Speaker 3: Maybe that's Maybe people hearing that will go Hey, at
Speaker 3: least I.
Speaker 2: Am not dead, right. Yeah, it's important to give people
Speaker 2: those little tests.
Speaker 3: Yeah, quick reminder, we're all alive. We're very lucky to
Speaker 3: be alive.
Speaker 4: Let's talk about the passing Matthew Perry.
Speaker 2: I I know I've done it again. I just really
Speaker 2: I realized how much.
Speaker 4: I don't think you know how much.
Speaker 2: I didn't have a picture of him on my wall
Speaker 2: when I lived in Bend, Oregon.
Speaker 1: But sounds like you did the way you signed a.
Speaker 4: Picture Jennifer Aniston on my wall. I was way into friends.
Speaker 2: It was at a point where I was young enough
Speaker 2: to not care as much about Seinfeld, which I think
Speaker 2: came on right after or right before the same Thursday night.
Speaker 2: But all the snowboarders in our little group would come
Speaker 2: over and we had a friend's night, and we were
Speaker 2: very invested in the first couple of seasons before Ross
Speaker 2: and Rachel got together. And I often, I'm not bragging,
Speaker 2: but a lot of people thought I was a Chandler type.
Speaker 2: Oh the sarcasm, and.
Speaker 1: I really liked the gesturing you're doing.
Speaker 4: And yes, exactly, this is such a bang thing.
Speaker 1: That guy's famous from TikTok that got out of that Bentley.
Speaker 2: Yet you really have a problem, I know. But all
Speaker 2: the all the interviews with him and stuff lately that
Speaker 2: have been surfacing, I realized how goddamn funny he was,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, amazingly funny, really like conversationally hilarious, sharpest attack.
Speaker 3: Also, he was a child actor, thank you, sir, for
Speaker 3: surely he was. Yes, he was a child actor who
Speaker 3: was on a show called Just the Ten of Us
Speaker 3: as just as a like Just the Ten of Us
Speaker 3: was like a guy that was a coach at a
Speaker 3: high school that had ten children, and so each child
Speaker 3: was a different personality, and it was one of those
Speaker 3: syndicated shows like Small Wonder. And when my sister and
Speaker 3: I watched those kinds of shows on the weekend, we
Speaker 3: like literally were like, if anyone was good or above average,
Speaker 3: we would like memorize, we'd look their names up her look,
Speaker 3: you know, wait for their names in the credits.
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah.
Speaker 4: Back when I AMDB, you had to go to the
Speaker 4: library and look at the book.
Speaker 3: Fucking you either you got the credits and if you
Speaker 3: miss them, you'd never see it again and you'd never
Speaker 3: know their name.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: But Matthew Perry was like a boy that one of
Speaker 3: the girls on that show liked for one episode and
Speaker 3: we were like that guy, and so when later on
Speaker 3: when he was on Friends and just like so gigantic,
Speaker 3: My sister actually is the one that's really good at that.
Speaker 1: She called George Clooney.
Speaker 3: She called Ellen DeGeneres, she called Matthew Perry like we
Speaker 3: would watch yes, oh wow, it was and you kind
Speaker 3: of could tell like that is that you know, star
Speaker 3: quality thing.
Speaker 1: And he had it when he was like thirteen years old.
Speaker 2: Do you remember uh Jason Bateman? Oh yeah, I mean that.
Speaker 3: We loved him much and still do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I love Justine. There was a show called
Speaker 2: Misfits of Science. I think, yeah, Courtney Cox was on it,
Speaker 2: like someone was able to get small. I can't remember
Speaker 2: what all their powers were.
Speaker 1: Yep, I remember that show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I because I first saw her after that in
Speaker 2: like ace Ventura, but she was on that show. So
Speaker 2: type that into your Hulu and pay four ninety nine
Speaker 2: episode Misfits of Science. Let's check and see if it's good.
Speaker 3: I wonder if it well, that would be like young
Speaker 3: adult type of show.
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, that's only ya. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Interesting.
Speaker 3: We watched a movie last night because it was Halloween,
Speaker 3: so me and the great zach Nei Towers has been
Speaker 3: on this podcast with us. We watched a movie from
Speaker 3: two thousand and seven called Trick Our Treat, which was
Speaker 3: like an anthology.
Speaker 1: Uh so it's like little creepy stories.
Speaker 3: Leslie Bibb gets murdered right in the beginning, which we
Speaker 3: were like, what why would she be imediately dead? She's
Speaker 3: like a star, And then all these people and a
Speaker 3: paquin was in it.
Speaker 1: Brian Cox from Succession was in it.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, and like each.
Speaker 3: Individual story it was really good. Wait why am I
Speaker 3: telling this story now?
Speaker 2: Because if you get killed in the middle or at
Speaker 2: the very beginning of an eighties horror movie, apparently it
Speaker 2: means you're going to be a superstar list.
Speaker 3: Right, except for this was from two thousand and seven.
Speaker 3: Oh My point was, oh okay, two thousand and seven.
Speaker 3: The shit they were saying and the shit they were
Speaker 3: doing is like, just now that we have a little
Speaker 3: we have a little time. A little time has passed
Speaker 3: between like when people started going, hey, you shouldn't do that,
Speaker 3: you shouldn't say that our word, you should be nicer,
Speaker 3: you should not just because a person is different, should
Speaker 3: doesn't mean they should get stabbed and everyone makes fun
Speaker 3: of them.
Speaker 2: Whatever. Be a better joke writer.
Speaker 3: Exactly, be a little more creative and pick on the bully,
Speaker 3: not the not the kid being picked on or whatever.
Speaker 4: I'm doing it with my stand up even it's a
Speaker 4: good thing.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's important. Yeah, well you've always done that. I mean,
Speaker 3: like your stand up is not you would never punch down.
Speaker 3: I don't can't imagine that you'd ever do that.
Speaker 5: But in this movie it was only two thousands fac middleminator, That's.
Speaker 3: Right, you're not you're certainly not going out there and
Speaker 3: signing petitions for anybody, but you're also not being a douchebag.
Speaker 4: Exactly right in the middle.
Speaker 3: Yep. Yeah, But in this movie, I was just like,
Speaker 3: now the time has passed. It's right that everybody was
Speaker 3: two PC all the whole movement and the way people
Speaker 3: are like that's we're being you know, like censored or whatever.
Speaker 3: It's like, no, no, no, we're evolving. And this movie
Speaker 3: was proof. Like it was scary and good in parts,
Speaker 3: but then there was other parts where I was like,
Speaker 3: they picked on this girl who clearly was on the spectrum,
Speaker 3: and they were so mean to her.
Speaker 1: Where I was like, why are they doing this?
Speaker 3: Like what it was like an extra horror in the
Speaker 3: horror movie where it's just like what why would you
Speaker 3: bully this girl?
Speaker 1: This extreme?
Speaker 3: And I mean it's a horror movie, but right, it
Speaker 3: was insane for that piece.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's amazing that you only have to go back
Speaker 2: to I mean even more recent but two thousand and
Speaker 2: seven it was The Wild West for being offended, Yeah.
Speaker 3: And for like being kind of gross and toxic in
Speaker 3: a way that just was like, yeah, that's comedy and
Speaker 3: it's like, no, it's not, or yeah that's it's a
Speaker 3: horror movie, and it's like anyway, I don't even know
Speaker 3: my point.
Speaker 2: No, it comes up a lot. And if something is
Speaker 2: like that these days, I without fail I'll look up
Speaker 2: when it was written and it's a script that's been
Speaker 2: laying around for ten years. Yeah, you can tell when
Speaker 2: something you know what, especially in the last few years,
Speaker 2: where they're like, well, let's just make this because we
Speaker 2: have to come up with content. Yeah, because of you know,
Speaker 2: COVID and then also the strike, A lot of stuff
Speaker 2: is outdated material that suddenly got recently produced and it's
Speaker 2: like nope, should ha done a read through Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for real, you should have done like a gen
Speaker 3: Z test of like, hey, would you enjoy this in
Speaker 3: any way so that they could be like, what are
Speaker 3: you talking about?
Speaker 1: Yeah that sucks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's have a mating Okay, well we're back at
Speaker 2: your house.
Speaker 1: Well that was a good one.
Speaker 2: It was we were oh god, we were especially in
Speaker 2: the middle. We were on firing on all cylinders.
Speaker 4: It felt like the old days.
Speaker 3: I mean I feel like it's it started strong too,
Speaker 3: so it was like strong, strong, and then kind of
Speaker 3: great at the end.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, we made some good points. Yeah, and I
Speaker 2: always know it's a good episode when I'm dranched with
Speaker 2: sweat as I am. That might just be residual Scotcha exposing.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, well that was fun. Let's keep doing this podcast, yep,
Speaker 2: I mean next week not now. Okay, you've been listening
Speaker 2: to Do you Need a Ride? D y n ay are.
Speaker 1: Yeah? I want to upset my neighbors.
Speaker 2: This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 3: Produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choi. Our talent
Speaker 3: booker is Patrick Coottner.
Speaker 2: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 3: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter,
Speaker 3: and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y Nar Podcast.
Speaker 2: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Oh, you're welcome.