WEBVTT - #2 Determined Dean 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:04.200 Hell I Suck At Dating with Dean Angler and I 0:00:04.320 --> 0:00:09.560 Heart Radio podcast. Hello everyone, thank you for tuning back 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:12.720 into episode two of Help I Suck at Dating. I'm 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:16.480 Dean Angler and I'm excited to have you back. Um. 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:19.119 We have a very special guest for this, uh, this 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:24.360 first segment, and you probably know him as America's heart throb, Um, 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:27.800 the most dreamy Abs of all time ever to go 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:30.800 through the Bachelor franchise. You know him, you love him. 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:36.280 Peter Krause, what's up, buddy? Thank you for for taking 0:00:36.280 --> 0:00:38.000 the time to jump on the phone with me here. 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:40.479 Of course, thanks for the invite. I appreciate it. No, 0:00:40.640 --> 0:00:42.320 of course, of course. I mean I think it's pretty 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:43.959 obvious why I wanted you on the phone. I mean, 0:00:44.760 --> 0:00:47.760 you and I we we grew a great friendship throughout 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:50.279 the course of the Bachelorette, right, and I think it's 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:53.040 pretty clear. I think that America would agree with with 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:56.120 me by saying that you are significantly better at dating 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:59.120 than I am. And you know, it's funny. We talked 0:00:59.120 --> 0:01:00.960 about a lot of things, you and I and I 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:02.960 feel like this is one thing that we maybe haven't 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:05.559 discussed very much on you know what, I can maybe 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:08.280 do to be better what maybe you saw during the 0:01:08.280 --> 0:01:12.160 bachelrette that you maybe I didn't like so much or 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:14.119 ever thought was a bad idea anything like that. So 0:01:14.520 --> 0:01:17.639 I mean going back to it right you? And actually 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:19.360 I want to talk about this a little bit too, 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:23.440 because I feel like you got a bad edit in 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:25.520 a sense where you did a lot of things behind 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:28.399 the scenes, um that were very like romantic, Like you 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:30.080 were like doing all these gestures. I remember you painted 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:31.800 a bottle. You were like setting up all of this 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:34.920 stuff that um didn't really seem to get displayed, right. 0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:36.480 And meanwhile I was just kind of sitting there with 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:38.520 my uh, sitting on my hands, like not really sure 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:42.040 what to do. So uh, I mean that being said, 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:44.560 where do you what kind of advice? I mean, just 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:45.959 to dive right into it. Would you think you would 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:49.320 have for me advice for you? Well, I promise I 0:01:49.400 --> 0:01:55.560 never watched bas from Paradise in Dating, if you will, 0:01:55.760 --> 0:01:57.560 I didn't see it. So I just gotta gut to 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:00.800 hear about it all second hand. Um, from what I 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:03.560 saw with you on the show, I don't know. I 0:02:03.560 --> 0:02:06.120 think you just got on your own head a couple 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:10.400 of times, and as time went on, and maybe you know, 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:12.440 you got further and further away from your comfort zone, 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:14.040 it just pame more difficult. But I don't think you 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:17.000 do anything wrong. You're You're a fun loving guy, your kind, 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:22.519 You're very well stillken intelligent. I just feel like maybe 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:25.160 it was too much, too soon, and you weren't ready 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:27.840 for it Towards the other Yeah, I agree, Um, I 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:30.160 think that especially near the end, we I think all 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:31.640 of us were kind of getting our heads a little bit. 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:36.240 I think I yeah, without a doubt. Um, I think 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:38.080 with everything that I had going on, with the hometowns 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:39.799 and all that, and you know, obviously I saw a 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:42.079 kind of everyone else's connection. It was it was a 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:46.440 lot to process. But um, what about like, like, maybe 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:49.280 could you jump into some of your dating experiences doesn't 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:50.440 have to be on the show. It could be you know, 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:53.520 before the show, Um, whatever it might be that you 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:56.280 think you do as a data that separates you from 0:02:57.040 --> 0:03:00.960 everyone else. My biggest thing is dating is listening. So 0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:04.760 you know, when you're dating somebody, it can no longer 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:06.880 be about yourself. It asked me about that person and 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:09.239 how you to interact together, So you have to put 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:13.000 that person first. Thing about yourself second, and when giving 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:15.320 them the love that they desire and have to be 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:17.880 in a way that they appreciate it, not in a 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:20.359 way that you feel like they should appreciate it. So 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:23.560 I personally think the biggest misconception and dating is that 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:27.160 you give a level of love and they're expected to 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:30.639 receive it with happiness. Well, if I like to give 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:37.000 love through for example, like gestures or word in fasformation, 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:39.000 or I like to receive it in that way, that 0:03:39.080 --> 0:03:40.920 doesn't mean that they're going to appreciate that when I 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:43.760 do it. So I can't be upset with them. I 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:46.680 can't get angry when they don't necessarily reciprocate those same 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:50.400 feelings because they need it, they've given to them in 0:03:50.400 --> 0:03:52.720 a different way. So I think it's really good to 0:03:52.720 --> 0:03:56.720 have a really open mind, Uh, listen and learn a 0:03:56.720 --> 0:04:00.120 lot about your partner, and then take those things you 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:02.440 learn to give the love back in the way that 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:06.600 they really seek. Fit gotcha, so you think it. Listening 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:09.760 is obviously very important. I think catering to the desires 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:11.800 of whomever it is that you're dating obviously is important 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:15.360 because you want to kind of specialize they're the way 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:17.640 that you treat them. In the way that they need 0:04:17.680 --> 0:04:20.360 to be treated. I suppose right, UM, And I guess 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:21.800 I saw a lot of that too, and it kind 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:23.640 of transformed in front of our eyes through the seven, 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:25.279 you know, eight weeks that we spent together on the 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:27.120 show is um. You know, as you get to know 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:29.719 someone more and more, you begin to understand what they 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:34.320 appreciate and how to continuously make them happy. UM. And 0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:35.560 it's funny too, because I feel like some of the 0:04:35.600 --> 0:04:37.800 guys just maybe didn't get that to click. You know, 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:39.600 they kind of had their their minds made up on 0:04:39.640 --> 0:04:40.800 how they were gonna act or what they were going 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:43.360 to do, and they just kind of stuck to their 0:04:43.360 --> 0:04:46.440 guns and didn't really adapt too much. So I think 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:49.520 that listening is very important. I think that I could 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:56.320 definitely improve in the listening department. Um. I think why 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:58.960 we have such a great friendship is because, yeah, we 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:04.200 share a lot of things, UM, beliefs, ideals, characteristics. I 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:07.000 guess you will, but then you do listen well. And 0:05:07.040 --> 0:05:09.320 when we have a conversation, we're having a conversation between 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:12.080 two friends. It's not like you're not trying to get 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:15.280 anything out of us, and you're not expecting anything you're 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.480 you're there to have a good conversation and be a 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:21.800 buddy versus there's people. Then I still run into today 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:23.920 where like you think you're making a friendship and then 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:26.880 you realize, oh, there are in this culterior motives and 0:05:27.080 --> 0:05:29.520 that's not you. So if you take the same approach 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:32.039 to your dating, I don't see them being a problem 0:05:32.120 --> 0:05:35.160 that granted at all. Watch you and you're dating necessarily. 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:38.480 I haven't seen you in the probilities that you have 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:42.120 dated in person, but from what I see, if you're 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:43.880 find at it, well, we definitely had a lot of 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:46.080 time to talk and listen to one another throughout the 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:51.040 time we spent together. Um, what do you think makes 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:53.880 our friendship or any friendship? Because I mean I have 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:55.159 a lot of friends, You have a lot of friends, 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:59.000 and yet here we are, um, you know, single essentially right, 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:03.520 So it's what maybe makes a friendship with whomever it 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:06.880 is easier than than forming a relationship with someone. I 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:08.839 guess it is kind of the the easiness of it all, 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:11.600 the levity of of just kind of you know, sitting back, 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:13.760 talking and listening and not necessarily having to to put 0:06:13.760 --> 0:06:16.240 so much pressure on it. Well, I mean there's a 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:18.680 big part of it there in a friendship, there's no 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:22.360 promise of future, Like you're able to just slide right 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:24.920 into a friendship knowing that it is what it is 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:28.840 wherever it really ends up, and maybe it does take 0:06:28.880 --> 0:06:31.040 fressure off in versus that you know that it's something 0:06:31.040 --> 0:06:33.400 that you're it's just been long term and then maybe 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:35.479 just in a new long term that changes the dynamic 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:37.599 and how you approach relationship and the conversation that you 0:06:37.640 --> 0:06:40.240 have and what's kind of like an umbrella over of 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:43.360 you thinking, you know, do I have to get more? 0:06:43.440 --> 0:06:45.479 Do I have to give less? Is this what I 0:06:45.520 --> 0:06:47.839 want for my long term? And maybe that also comes 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:49.320 with age when you start to think about that. Maybe 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:51.320 at my younger ages, I wasn't really thinking about it 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:53.560 in a relationship. I was just thinking, is this girl 0:06:53.600 --> 0:06:55.479 cool to hang out with? Do I enjoy your company? 0:06:55.560 --> 0:06:58.000 That was it versus now it's like, do I see 0:06:58.000 --> 0:06:59.800 this one being a mother of my children? Do I 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:01.960 this woman working up next to me every single day 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:05.239 and being the love of my life and some majority 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:07.680 of the days at least being happy. I'm not gonna 0:07:07.680 --> 0:07:09.480 say it's gonna be every day, but you know, in 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:13.960 a friendship, you don't necessarily look at that, so it's different. 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:15.880 It's a lot easier. Being a buddy is a lot 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:21.320 easier than being a girlfriend eventually fiancee, eventually wife less expectation, 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:22.800 I guess in a friendship, So it kind of makes 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:24.280 everything a little bit easier. I think that makes sense. 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:28.800 And so earlier you you referenced the love language is right, 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:31.880 do you know what your love language is? I know 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:36.440 how I like to receive love, I guess more than player. 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:39.280 I like to give love, okay. I really like to 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:43.680 be love through words of affirmation okay, and to like 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:48.080 talking things out is really important to me. Being encouraged 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:53.680 and being confirmed in my UM, I guess love or 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:56.720 their love for me is really important to me. So 0:07:56.840 --> 0:08:01.560 just being what your being reassured, I think mine it 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:05.200 probably is words of affirmation as well, with quality time 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.800 mixed in there. Um. I think the reassurance and just 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:13.880 kind of like knowing that someone can be there for 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:15.720 you at any moment, like whenever you might need them 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:17.760 for whatever reason. Um, if you just need someone to 0:08:17.800 --> 0:08:21.960 talk to, and kind of knowing that at that moment 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:23.160 if you need to talk to, someone will be there 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:24.920 and I guess it's kind of a mixture between words 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:27.640 of affirmation and quality time. I'm not really sure in 0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:30.720 hand and hand. I guess it's like if you're if 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:33.440 you're there for them in that moment, you're probably saying 0:08:33.440 --> 0:08:35.160 a couple of things because of an affirmation. Well at 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:37.720 the same time giving that quality time. So I can 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:42.400 totally see them being hand and hand. Would you consider 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:46.240 yourself an affectionate person? Oh, totally, I think so. Yeah, 0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:48.280 I mean, but I think maybe it comes in different way. 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:51.560 So it's funny now, Like I mean, you know about 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:53.200 the beast of social media, and I talked about it 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:56.840 a lot, but it's something that is now involved in 0:08:56.840 --> 0:08:58.720 our lives and when we have to kind of read 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:02.040 the comments because you won't be able to see what 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:04.240 people are saying positive and if there's something that you 0:09:04.240 --> 0:09:05.880 can do differently or see there's something that maybe you 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:08.520 said that was offensive or inappropriate or something maybe you 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:12.000 just maybe change someone maybe for the better reason. And 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:13.559 that's that's a crazy part about it too. And I 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:15.199 think we touched on this later on in the podcast, 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:16.959 But how do you think social media has changed that? 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:20.320 Because especially for you and I, you know, now it's 0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:22.480 a little bit more public are our dating lives and 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:25.160 the comments, like you said, and all that kind of stuff. 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:27.480 So how has that affected you? I mean, obviously don't 0:09:27.480 --> 0:09:29.560 get too specific or anythink that, but I mean it's hard. 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:31.280 It's hard to ignore all this stuff, right, And it's 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:34.240 it's much different now than it was, you know, six 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:36.240 months ago before we went on the show. Right. Oh, 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:39.200 it's totally different. Maybe before you could date someone with 0:09:40.040 --> 0:09:43.120 out for your judgment. If you like them, you'd introduce 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:45.080 to your family, and your family would be happy as 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:47.160 long as you were. At least I thought it works 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:49.520 in my family. And so now it's like, if I 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:52.920 did start dating someone, are people going to think that, 0:09:53.400 --> 0:09:55.000 you know, I'm doing it for one reason and another? 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:57.439 Are they gonna like them? Are they gonna suddenly put 0:09:57.440 --> 0:10:00.880 all the case that they put on us, uh something 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:04.520 on the show onto them? Uh? Are they you know, 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:07.760 good date us like relationship itself? Is that person date 0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:10.960 you or I for the wrong reasons? Uh? It's hard 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:13.200 to say. Yeah, it's totally puts a whole new perspective 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:15.480 on dating at this point. Yeah, it changes, It changes 0:10:15.520 --> 0:10:17.439 for sure. And it's funny too. I mean in regard 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:20.000 to to all of that. It's what I always telling 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:21.880 myself is the people with the least amount of information 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:23.600 are the ones with the most amount to say. So 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:26.200 it's like you look at it and you're like, okay, 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:28.400 but we don't like know each other, you know, anything 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:30.160 like that. But it's still it's still hard to not 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:32.640 let it get to you. And um, I know you 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:34.800 you were under obviously a lot of like scrutiny for 0:10:34.800 --> 0:10:37.480 for a while during some of those episodes, and um, 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:40.160 I've had my fair share as well, but I mean, 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:41.920 I know it's it's difficult not to let it gets 0:10:41.920 --> 0:10:43.880 your head. And you have done a really good job 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:45.960 of not necessarily buying into any of the hatred, which 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:49.640 I can appreciate in respect from you, Um, Peter, you're 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:53.520 the man. Thank you again for taking the time. Uh again, 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:56.080 I've I've always kind of looked up to you, both 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:58.640 in dating and as a friend, and I will continue 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:01.120 to do that. And um, you know, all of your 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:05.640 advice is definitely very much appreciated, and I look forward 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:09.000 to talking soon. I appreciate man, You're killing it and 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:13.600 keep doing what you do, all right, take care buddy, Alright, Yes, 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:17.800 I suck at dating. But what has made dating easier 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:20.400 throughout the years, and one way it continues to improve 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:24.200 is through the use of dating apps, and one of 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:25.959 those apps is Bumble, who happens to be one of 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:28.840 our sponsors. Um I I think I told a story 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:31.760 very briefly in the very first episode about um how 0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:33.640 on a second day I was on my hands and 0:11:33.720 --> 0:11:38.360 knees in this girl's bathroom because I ate some um 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:41.560 some bad I think it was Chinese food. And ironically enough, 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:43.880 she was a lovely young lady that I met on 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:48.959 Bumble and uh, great girl. Um. Again, it didn't really 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:52.280 go very well after that, just because of that moment. UM. 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:55.680 I do know that that girl had since found a 0:11:55.720 --> 0:11:58.440 boyfriend and is still with boyfriend, living with the boyfriend 0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:00.800 that she met on Bumble. UM. I believe it was 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.120 a boyfriend she met immediately after, which is great because 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:04.720 I mean, it gives us all, you know, a sense 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:07.680 of hope and a sense of of um pride in 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:10.760 knowing that it works for people, and it's worked for me, 0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:13.840 It's it's worked for obviously her and some of my friends. UM. 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:17.200 But there's not just Bumble for dating. There's there's actually 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:19.400 three different Bumble apps. One of them is for dating, 0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.600 one of them is bumble bf which is for friend finding, 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:25.800 and bumble biz which is for professional networking. And I'm 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:28.080 just learning about this now. I think that's great. I 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:30.400 think especially if you, you know, if you move somewhere 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:32.880 new and you don't really know that many people, bumble 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:35.200 bff is a great way to be introduced to, you know, 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:36.800 locals that are on your same age and have the 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:40.000 same interests as you. Um, one of my best friends 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:42.000 actually just moved to India, country that you know, he's 0:12:42.000 --> 0:12:44.000 never really been to before, and um, I know he's 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:46.400 actually using it out there because he's you know, hoping 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:49.240 to to meet more people. And it's just a great 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:51.200 opportunity and a great avenue to be able to do 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:54.040 something like that. So go to bumble dot com slash 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:56.839 dean to download the bumble app and again you get 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:59.400 three of them, Bumble for dating, bumble bff, and bumble 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:02.000 Biz for fessional networking, which is just great. So bumble 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:06.200 dot com slash tean, download the app and start bumbling. Okay. 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:10.720 Joining us next is Patti Stanger from millionaire matchmaker Patty. 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:13.520 Are you there? Yeah? Hi? Jean How are you? I'm 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:16.920 doing well? How are you good? Look at you? Mr 0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:21.360 big Shot? Who do thunk it? What a what a concept? 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:23.839 Your name from in Venice? Right? Don't you live in Venice? 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:25.880 I live in Venice? Yes, that's right, I remember. I remember. 0:13:25.920 --> 0:13:30.319 We we live like five blocks apart. There you go, so, um, 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:32.079 all right, Well, so Patty, do you mind filling in 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:34.360 our listeners a little bit more about you and who 0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:37.840 you are? Yeah? So I am the million Dollar Matchmakers. 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:40.360 It's a different show. It's on WE TV. You can 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:43.000 watch it Friday nights at nine o'clock. And this week's 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:47.280 are finally with Courtney Stotton, who is crazy Mazie, Matsy 0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:49.400 bestie and all the things you can imagine if you 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:52.480 know Courtney. But the show is really about It's like 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:57.359 it's kind of like Intervention meets the old Millionaire Matchmaker, um, 0:13:57.480 --> 0:14:00.360 where I basically put you in the hot seat. And 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:02.720 if you watched the episode with Daniel, you know you 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:04.720 can get a little testy because you know how Daniel 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:07.280 is right, he doesn't like to be told or criticized 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:09.240 or anything. And then I kind of figure out why 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:12.240 are you not finding love? And I kind of break 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:15.199 you have your bad habits and get you on the 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.079 road to love. And then at the end of the episode, 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:19.240 we actually give you a date and then you get 0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:20.800 to decide whether you want to keep the date or not. 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:23.880 So there's a little game show effects the end. I 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:27.200 don't understand why are you single? Well, that's what I'm 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:29.320 hoping you can tell me. I said, if I were 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:34.840 only thirty years younger, Um, you think you have too 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:37.640 much going on? It could be. It could be the case. 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:42.200 I I definitely and find myself enjoying being busy. Okay, 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:43.920 are you dating a D D? Are you one of 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:45.840 those D A D D guys? So it's like, oh 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:49.000 my god, everyone's throwing themselves at me, and I'm dating 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:52.520 all these people, but I'm not actually thinking about what 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:55.320 I really want and a woman and then waiting for 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:57.880 the right woman to show up. Are you that guy? 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:02.440 I don't think so. I think that I don't know. 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:05.160 It's hard to say I really want to have someone 0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:07.080 in my life, so that way, I don't necessarily even 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:08.560 have to worry about that. I mean, I think that 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:11.880 the it just gets exhausting after a while, right, you know, 0:15:11.920 --> 0:15:13.680 people are trying to talk to you and you have 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.239 a real job. You're not like one of these local 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:18.320 people that are just like they get on The Bachelor. 0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:20.200 They have no real job, their personal trainer and they're 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:21.800 just floating around. You have a don't you have a 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:24.160 real job, like in a real company. So I've been 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:28.000 a recruiter for three years, um, since going real job. Okay, So, 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:30.480 so you have a structured life. You have your nine 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:32.680 to five, right, and then you've got like you can 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:34.920 play at nine and play in the weekends. And most 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:36.760 guys like that are tired at the end of the day. 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:40.520 They're like exhausted from working and either they're not being 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:45.080 proactive in their search or they're just like winging it. 0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:48.320 And what you need to do is get strategics. I 0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:50.960 think that's your problem. You're not strategic. Strategic how what 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:54.280 do you mean, Well, you've got to decide what you want. Look, 0:15:54.320 --> 0:15:56.560 you've had the experience of the Bachelor. Who knows if 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:58.040 you're going to come back to the ap next year. 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:01.040 Hopefully they'll last you back. But you know your jab, 0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:03.840 you're only getting people that they're giving you, So you're 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:06.680 not really expanding your net and going out and meeting 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:09.880 real people because you're probably hanging out with Bachelor Nation, 0:16:10.080 --> 0:16:11.800 which is fine. A lot of those people got married 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:14.920 behind the scenes. It's actually like like its own dating service, 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:17.800 and it's actually fantastic. I mean it makes sense in 0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:20.080 a way. It's a bunch of charismatic, you know, fun loving, 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:22.720 upgoing people that kind of get together. What are they 0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:25.320 really strategic? Where are they serious about love? And are 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.200 they local? Can you have a lot of them are 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:29.800 long distance. You can't really have a long just like Olivia. 0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:32.560 You can't have a long distance relationship. You want someone 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:36.000 perfectly on the west side, right, you don't want to slept, 0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:38.440 you know wherever all not a valley girl. Right on 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:40.360 date one a girl? Would you dat a valley girl? 0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:43.120 I mean the short to drive, the better, to be honest, 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:45.120 it's like an okay, So for those who don't know 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:47.440 who are listening nationwide, the valley is like an hour 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:50.760 away from where team lives. So there's this whole rule, 0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:52.640 like you need your visa to go there. It's like 0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:55.440 another country, another state. So everybody stays on one side 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:57.160 the streets. The value people stay with the value people, 0:16:57.360 --> 0:16:59.240 and the beach people stay with the beach people. But 0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:01.560 you can head down to Manhattan Beach. So you think 0:17:01.560 --> 0:17:03.520 that if you met someone that was important enough to you, 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:05.280 you would be you should be willing to travel an 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:06.720 hour an hour and a half to to wherever it 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:08.920 is that the people say until they actually have to 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:10.360 get in the car and stan in the fourth five 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:11.800 or two hours. I mean, if you have a great 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:14.239 podcast to listen to, maybe for the commute, you never know, 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:18.840 there you go. I actually was engaged to a valueball, 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:24.160 the valetball value boy, and I lived in Mdr marinadel right, 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:26.000 and I used to think it was like going to 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:29.560 the country for the weekend, because coming from Jersey and 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:31.439 Florida where I grew up, it was like that was 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:33.520 country to me, you know, the mountains and the and 0:17:33.560 --> 0:17:35.679 the trees and the green and not the beach. So 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.560 I didn't mind going there. But a lot of a 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:41.080 lot of guys don't want to. Look I have promised 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:42.840 with the O T guys where they don't want to 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:46.560 go to even South Bate to date my clients my girl. Okay, 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:50.000 So distance is definitely something to take into consideration, right, Okay. 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:53.119 So the other rule is that where you give me, 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:54.680 give me a course of your week, I'm really good 0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:57.000 in analyzing some sweets. All right, so you got the 0:17:57.040 --> 0:17:59.520 week off, you're not doing pressed. Where are you going 0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:01.120 to meet when in on the weekends? Where you going? 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:04.199 Give me? I don't really ever actively go out to 0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:05.639 meet women. I just go out and hang out with 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:07.639 my friends. And okay, so where are they? Where the 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:09.199 friends going? Are they going to Lincoln? Are you going 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:11.320 to the bar at Lincoln Bar around the corner? Where 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:14.280 you're going? We we we frequent Lincoln. Um, it's it's 0:18:14.320 --> 0:18:15.920 actually kind of been the hot spot among the friend group. 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:16.840 I don't know. I like to go. I like to 0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:20.520 be active, go to football games. Um, lazy Lincoln. So 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:24.320 there's lazy Lincoln. Right, football games are getting fixed and 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:26.959 we've got the rams now, so you can actually do that. Okay, 0:18:27.080 --> 0:18:30.600 what else? Give me another one? Um? Hiking all I mean, 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:32.240 I guess I wouldn't really meet a group of fixing. 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:34.760