Speaker 1: Can I sets.
Speaker 2: Mantids all that's okay because no one here is.
Speaker 3: Hello teen Beaters. Oh okay, No, Glad, I said that
Speaker 3: out loud. That is not a good nickname for my listeners.
Speaker 3: Going to have to workshop that one in the meanwhile,
Speaker 3: I'm Danielle Fischel, podcaster, TV director, aspiring celebrity dancer, boy mom,
Speaker 3: and as mentioned in two different Lil Wayne songs, I
Speaker 3: played Tapega on the nineties family sitcom Boy Meets World.
Speaker 3: And if you did watch that show, you witnessed every
Speaker 3: awkward stage of my entire teenage existence from twelve to
Speaker 3: nineteen years old, from my first kiss to my first
Speaker 3: hair cut. Everything was documented and shoehorned into scripts perfectly
Speaker 3: written to fit a twenty two minute format, with the
Speaker 3: ultimate goal being its ability to sell things like toothpaste
Speaker 3: and luxury family vehicles. And so, now, thirty years later,
Speaker 3: it's time to turn the tables on Teenbeat. I will
Speaker 3: sit down with interesting people who have accomplished interesting things,
Speaker 3: hoping that a look into their untelevised upbringings can help
Speaker 3: me get to know them better. Today I gave you
Speaker 3: my childhood. It's time we hear yours. And this week
Speaker 3: I'm living a bit on easy Street because I'm sitting
Speaker 3: down with a guest, a Hall of Fame podcaster, if
Speaker 3: you ask me, who appears to enjoy being wildly honest
Speaker 3: and open when it comes to her childhood. While hosting
Speaker 3: podcasts like Why Won't You Date Me? Best Friends and Newcomers,
Speaker 3: listeners have heard pieces of her origin story with details
Speaker 3: rarely censored for embarrassment. And on TV, she's best known
Speaker 3: as the four time EMI nominated face of Nailed It,
Speaker 3: one of Netflix's most popular game shows of all time,
Speaker 3: pitting contestants against an unbeatable opponent their own terrible baking skills.
Speaker 3: She's also appeared on Brooklyn nine nine, The Good Place, Transparent,
Speaker 3: and The Simpsons, and her twenty twenty one comedy special
Speaker 3: BBW Big Beautiful Weirdo is available now on Netflix and,
Speaker 3: for those keeping score at home, is also Emmy nominated.
Speaker 3: Her confident approach to comedy has helped her become one
Speaker 3: of the most exciting voices in the field. But today,
Speaker 3: when she sits down with me, we're going to focus
Speaker 3: on those more awkward, less assured moments that everyone, even
Speaker 3: those with multiple Emmy nominations, can never avoid. So welcome
Speaker 3: to teen Beat. My larger than life guests this week,
Speaker 3: the hilarious Nicole Byer.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 1: That's a lovely intro. I was like, whoam.
Speaker 3: I want everyone to feel as as spectacular as they are,
Speaker 3: especially you, Well, thank you. It's truly an honor to
Speaker 3: have you here. I feel like I should have met
Speaker 3: you a million times because.
Speaker 1: We have mutual friends in common.
Speaker 3: Sure do many a mutual friends, and yet somehow we
Speaker 3: have never met and you are podcast royalties.
Speaker 1: So I love just talking.
Speaker 3: Were you a talkative kid?
Speaker 1: Always?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Always?
Speaker 5: That's how I got into like acting and performing. I
Speaker 5: just talked so much. My mom is like, how about.
Speaker 1: You like talk on stage? Do the play, do anything?
Speaker 5: And I was like, okay, okay, oh yeah, I just
Speaker 5: I love talking.
Speaker 3: As a kid. All my report cards said we really
Speaker 3: enjoy her.
Speaker 1: But boy, she.
Speaker 3: Doesn't like to stop talking. It was like a real
Speaker 3: sign from the time I was yes.
Speaker 1: Same.
Speaker 5: I also was very nosy. Oh I was in people's business.
Speaker 5: I was like, what are you drawing?
Speaker 1: What's going on? What are you doing? Where are you going?
Speaker 1: And I'm still very nosey as an adult.
Speaker 3: I feel like that's a good quality to have. When
Speaker 3: we call it nosy, it doesn't sound as great. But
Speaker 3: when you call it inquisiting, inquisitive, curious, wants to discover
Speaker 3: the world, so interested in others and they're story. Okay,
Speaker 3: I want to talk about hometowns. Okay, what is the
Speaker 3: craziest thing that happened in your hometown growing up? Like,
Speaker 3: what's the lore in Middletown Township, New Jersey.
Speaker 1: I don't know if we have lore it is.
Speaker 5: It's truly like a very, very small, boring town. Okay,
Speaker 5: because I grew up in Lanecroft, which is in Middletown Township,
Speaker 5: which is even smaller than Middletown. But in high school
Speaker 5: a kid was driving in a deer jump through his windshield, which.
Speaker 1: Is pretty crazy. And I don't know if he came
Speaker 1: to school. Of course, he's so funny that I'm mooth
Speaker 1: he came, he didn't show up, he was absent.
Speaker 5: Yeah, a deer jumped through his windshield.
Speaker 3: You wanted him to just walk in? Guys.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I'm like, the craziest thing happened?
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 5: I just remember people talking about it in school and
Speaker 5: I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think that's maybe the craziest. That sounds
Speaker 3: like the craziest thing was he injured. I don't remember
Speaker 3: him being injured. He just got a free absent day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and nobody ever gave me a free absent day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you could have staged a deer.
Speaker 1: Imagine that. I'm like dragging deer just.
Speaker 3: A week later.
Speaker 1: Believe me too. Oh my god, is that crazy.
Speaker 3: You'll never believe. At my school, the kids from Alpha Dog.
Speaker 3: You know, the Jesse James Hollywood guy. He was a
Speaker 3: successful drug dealer. He went to my school. Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: someone owed him like fifteen hundred dollars day Jesse James. Yeah,
Speaker 3: Jesse James Hollywood.
Speaker 1: Who did it?
Speaker 3: Sandra Bullock, No, that's a difference a tattoo artist's it
Speaker 3: or auto mechanic. Oh my god, I don't announce. I
Speaker 3: don't know, but that guy had a similar name. But
Speaker 3: you know, justin the movie justin Timberlake did about the
Speaker 3: drug dealer, a kid owed him like twelve hundred dollars
Speaker 3: or something, and when he didn't get it, he hired
Speaker 3: two other young kids to go kill the kid, and
Speaker 3: then they turned it into a movie. That guy went
Speaker 3: to my school. Oh that's wild, like war lore that's truly, truly.
Speaker 5: I didn't see that movie because this will sound really mean,
Speaker 5: But when Justin Timberlake decided to act, I.
Speaker 3: Said, and I don't believe this. Yeah, you're like no thing,
Speaker 3: and I don't support it. Yeah, stick to stick to
Speaker 3: what you do best. So, yeah, you know what, I'm
Speaker 3: not opposed to that. I really did make one movie
Speaker 3: that I really liked.
Speaker 5: It's called in Time or something where time is literal money.
Speaker 5: It really felt like an elevator pitchure. They're like, what
Speaker 5: if time was actually money? And they were like, write
Speaker 5: it up and there was no other thoughts behind it.
Speaker 1: It's really funny.
Speaker 3: He also the name of his production company, or the
Speaker 3: one his mom had, is just in Time. He's got
Speaker 3: a lot of time.
Speaker 1: Hen't like it.
Speaker 3: Also, the Menendez brothers went to my high school. Wow,
Speaker 3: Yeah it was great.
Speaker 1: Sounds busy damn. Oh yeah?
Speaker 3: And the bling Wing Well did you grow up in
Speaker 3: calif Yeah? It's crazy out here? Yeah, yeah, makes sense.
Speaker 3: Interesting people end up here. People flee from Middletown, New Jersey.
Speaker 3: They're like, I can't stay here. It's so boring. It's
Speaker 3: so boring. Well, I mean, did you enjoy it? Did
Speaker 3: you have anything fun that you liked to do there?
Speaker 3: Where were your hangouts? Who were your friends? What did
Speaker 3: you do on the weekends?
Speaker 5: I smoked a lot of weed out of a honeybear
Speaker 5: bong that my friend fashioned out of like a honey container.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, the little bears.
Speaker 1: In the plays. After the plays, we'd go to Chili's.
Speaker 1: Truly boring stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah that sounds sound pretty boring, but I do love
Speaker 3: a Chili's.
Speaker 1: I love Chili's.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have you been to the Chili's and Encino?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Let me? It is always packed.
Speaker 3: Every time I've gone, I've had to wait a half
Speaker 3: hour for a table and look at chili. I don't
Speaker 3: know that Chili's is worth waiting a half an hour?
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 1: Have you read the skillet Caso?
Speaker 3: No? No, but that it's really good? Okay. I do
Speaker 3: love Gazo. I mean you got me with skillet queso.
Speaker 3: Anything in a skillet. I'm into a pazuki.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, Bej's they broke them mold when they
Speaker 5: made a pause.
Speaker 3: They really did. Oh just no other dessert, I love it.
Speaker 3: I alsoll have a buttercake from CPK Ooh that's.
Speaker 1: Nice, warm with that's very very warm.
Speaker 5: They also have a like an apple cobbler with crunchams
Speaker 5: on top. I don't know how to describe it other
Speaker 5: than crunch crunch them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's great. It's like a what do they call
Speaker 3: that crumble? Like a crumble crunches. Yes, yeah, I'm hungry,
Speaker 3: which is why I realized I did a full detour
Speaker 3: into into uh school. Okay, I do have one small
Speaker 3: concern about your high school. You attended Middletown High South,
Speaker 3: and I am pretty sure you had a real strong
Speaker 3: grasp on being the most famous alumni. But now I'm
Speaker 3: a little worried about Olivia Newsy, the journalist who allegedly
Speaker 3: had an affair with RFK junior. She went to your
Speaker 3: high school.
Speaker 1: When did she graduate?
Speaker 3: I'm not sure I didn't do that research.
Speaker 1: Having an affair with RFK.
Speaker 3: Psychotics psychotic, Like imagine that man being like, amen, you hello,
Speaker 3: are you gonna come? Oh god?
Speaker 1: Oh do you want me to hate it from behind?
Speaker 3: No? Yuck?
Speaker 1: Yuck, yuck, yuck yuck. Oh, okay, your way to the top.
Speaker 1: I'm sure go for it.
Speaker 3: But that man is disgusting, quite a you real disturgstantic.
Speaker 5: He looks like an old coach bag, Like he's so
Speaker 5: nasty to me.
Speaker 3: Oh, you know what, I think even I think there
Speaker 3: are worse brands than coaching. I'm pretty sure I use
Speaker 3: coach because they're pretty durable.
Speaker 1: So you ever see like a real beat up one,
Speaker 1: they are up.
Speaker 3: That's true. That's true. So Carrie, anyway, I'm worried that
Speaker 3: your crown may be snatched. So we're gonna have to
Speaker 3: just we're gonna have to do something about that. Did
Speaker 3: you have like a celebrity hero growing up, somebody you
Speaker 3: looked up to admired their career.
Speaker 1: That's a good question.
Speaker 5: Nobody told me I could be an actor until like
Speaker 5: junior or senior year of high school. Like it wasn't
Speaker 5: a thing that I was like, Oh, I can do that.
Speaker 5: But like I guess once I once I really thought
Speaker 5: about it. I mean, I loved Monique on The Parkers.
Speaker 5: I loved Oh god, I'm trying to oh. I loved
Speaker 5: a Different World. A Different World was great. I loved
Speaker 5: Living Single, Living Single was.
Speaker 3: Living Single is a great show.
Speaker 1: It's a perfect show. I love it so much. And
Speaker 1: then the movie I loved them, I oh, will be Goldberg,
Speaker 1: this is wild. It took me so.
Speaker 5: Long to get there because my favorite movie is Ghost.
Speaker 5: I think it's a rom com. People disagree and say
Speaker 5: it's a thriller, and I'm like, yeah, but it's really
Speaker 5: funny and there's a roman.
Speaker 3: Yes, I actually agree with you.
Speaker 5: Every moment will be Goldberg is in. It is just
Speaker 5: so deep funny to miss.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 5: Sister Act was another favorite one. My cousin Vinnie. I
Speaker 5: love Marissa Tome and it coming to America with Woopye
Speaker 5: Goldberg and Ted Danson.
Speaker 1: That's such a good movie. Yes, Whoopy Goldberg.
Speaker 3: Okay, whoopi Goldberg. That that makes sense. I can see
Speaker 3: the comedy inspiration there. My kids really love John Cena,
Speaker 3: who I know you worked with.
Speaker 1: He's the best.
Speaker 3: You co hosted the reboot of Wipeout with him. He
Speaker 3: seems like he's the best, and my kids think he's
Speaker 3: the greatest thing ever.
Speaker 5: He's so deeply funny. He's a very funny man. He
Speaker 5: also has zero ego, like he'll take a line read
Speaker 5: from a producer like he's just like he he's there
Speaker 5: to service the like the greater good if you will
Speaker 5: like the show the product, Like he's like I'm just
Speaker 5: a vessel to relay what the joke that you want
Speaker 5: to relay. He also is very inquisitive and he also
Speaker 5: remember his names, you remember crew members names, like he
Speaker 5: was just so wonderful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's just a kind, kind person.
Speaker 3: I love those stories. I feel like the more we
Speaker 3: can talk about those stories and highlight the people who
Speaker 3: you know have good reputations, oh, because we hear so many.
Speaker 1: But I love hearing about naughty people.
Speaker 3: I love a misbehaving adult, Like, I love it so much.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you.
Speaker 5: John Cena truly changed my perspective on like being in
Speaker 5: the public eye. Like I didn't love taking pictures with people,
Speaker 5: and I always found it to be really awkward.
Speaker 1: And he was like, if somebody wants a picture with you,
Speaker 1: what does that do to you?
Speaker 5: How does that take away from your day? Don't you
Speaker 5: get to continue it?
Speaker 1: After? He's like, if that's if someone is so excited.
Speaker 5: To meet you, why wouldn't you make their day? And
Speaker 5: I was like, oh my god, yeah right, you're so right.
Speaker 1: Why am I being so weird about it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's sweet. I think one of the things that
Speaker 3: makes me feel weird about people when when I do
Speaker 3: feel weird about it, is always that my first thought
Speaker 3: is about whether or not it's bothering the people I'm with. Ah,
Speaker 3: My first thoughts always like, sorry, I am the worst.
Speaker 3: You'd probably don't want to invite me to anything ever again, right, Like,
Speaker 3: I'm doing this for you. It's your birthday and people
Speaker 3: were coming up and asking me for a picture, Like
Speaker 3: I suck, Right, That's always my first thought. But he's
Speaker 3: He's right. I mean I had what an honor that
Speaker 3: people actually care enough?
Speaker 1: Yes, And then I really had to think about it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, who am I doing jokes for?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: What am I trying to?
Speaker 3: Like it? If somebody likes it, then that's that's why
Speaker 3: I'm doing it. That's the whole purpose. That's the point.
Speaker 4: That's great.
Speaker 3: Who were your friends growing up? What were your friends liked?
Speaker 3: Were you in a click?
Speaker 5: Yes, So I don't know if you did this growing up?
Speaker 5: So our click like took the first initial of our
Speaker 5: names and made like names for ourselves.
Speaker 3: You had a click nickname.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was Seek, and then there was there was
Speaker 5: another one because I was in two klicks and I
Speaker 5: can't remember the second one, but c Kylen I'll always
Speaker 5: remember because that was like my core group of friends.
Speaker 3: And what did you guys. Do we hung out at
Speaker 3: each other's houses?
Speaker 5: Yeah, we had a lot of slumber parties, so fun. Yeah,
Speaker 5: we were just like some girls were closer than others,
Speaker 5: but like we were all like pretty close. Like Kristin,
Speaker 5: one of the K's lived down the street from me. Okay,
Speaker 5: so we would hang out all the time. Let's see
Speaker 5: if I can remember Kitlin. That was c Kay, Kristin, Kristen, Kim, Lenn, Liz,
Speaker 5: e Emma and then me.
Speaker 3: How fun Are you in touch with any of them today?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 5: So, like we follow each other on Instagram. And then
Speaker 5: Kristin got married in Ireland and there was a reunion
Speaker 5: but I ended up having to work, so I didn't
Speaker 5: make it.
Speaker 3: But everyone else was there, everyone but Caitlyn and you
Speaker 3: were happy. That's so fun. I also had a little
Speaker 3: bit of a clique. I think of it as being
Speaker 3: like there were two kind of larger groups of popular girls,
Speaker 3: and one was like the naughty group of popular girls,
Speaker 3: and the other one was like the real squares. I
Speaker 3: was part of the real Squares.
Speaker 1: Did you go to school with other actors? Was that
Speaker 1: special or no?
Speaker 3: It was calabasas Hi, so some you know, there were
Speaker 3: other kids there that had parents in the industry or
Speaker 3: they themselves acted like at some point Gabby Hoffman and
Speaker 3: like my senior year, I think Gabby was there, but
Speaker 3: I don't necessarily remember Gabby being there all four years.
Speaker 3: I was there. Vanessa Evigan whose dad Greg Evigan from
Speaker 3: my two dads, like, she went there. But otherwise it
Speaker 3: was a big just normal high school and I'm still
Speaker 3: friends with all of those are still my core group
Speaker 3: of girls. I love that, and very similarly, everybody had
Speaker 3: like their It was like the buddy system. Everybody had
Speaker 3: their best friend in the group, but we were all
Speaker 3: still agreece and still to this day, there are like
Speaker 3: three or four of them I talked to, if not daily, weekly,
Speaker 3: and then as the larger group of twelve to fifteen
Speaker 3: of us, we get together whenever we can.
Speaker 1: Love that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really nice to have friendships that really formed
Speaker 3: before yes, careers started.
Speaker 5: Like people who knew you before My best friend I
Speaker 5: made as an adult, her name Sashir, But we started
Speaker 5: our friendship before either of us started working.
Speaker 1: We were just doing comedy in New York and it
Speaker 1: really is nice.
Speaker 5: To have someone who's like, I don't know, we've just
Speaker 5: hit milestones almost at the same time.
Speaker 3: Yea.
Speaker 1: So it's just like we get each other, yes.
Speaker 3: And someone who can look at you and really be
Speaker 3: like you know that shared history, knowing your family the
Speaker 3: shorthand not having to explain like who you are. What
Speaker 3: is the most amount of trouble you ever got into?
Speaker 3: Like in high school? Oh?
Speaker 1: In high school? Was I still in high school?
Speaker 5: I got arrested at Old Navy, which is crazy because
Speaker 5: they like pay you to take the clothes.
Speaker 1: But I love shoplifting, still love it.
Speaker 3: Okay to have to I'm assuming you have to force
Speaker 3: yourself to not do it.
Speaker 5: No, I still to do it. If I go to Gelson's,
Speaker 5: I'm taking a treat. If there's a self checkout, I'm
Speaker 5: not scanning all of it. Yeah, I don't work here.
Speaker 1: Also, Gelson's is so expensive.
Speaker 3: Right, there was grapes I wanted and they were fifty
Speaker 3: dollars are you kidding?
Speaker 1: But they went on sale for fourteen Still too expensive.
Speaker 1: They're K grapes. They're from Korea.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. K beauty has now crossed over into
Speaker 3: kute Okay, we have K pop K beauty, KKK fruit Okay.
Speaker 5: But I think it was the summer in between my
Speaker 5: junior and senior year. No, it was senior year because
Speaker 5: my mom had passed away already.
Speaker 1: So I used to play a game.
Speaker 5: With my friends Nick and John called Grandma, What's in
Speaker 5: your bag? Meaning we would get back into Nick's car
Speaker 5: and they go, Grandma, what's in your bag?
Speaker 1: And I'd pull it off stuff. I still, oh my god.
Speaker 5: So I was in old Navy I think I was
Speaker 5: by myself, and yeah, I was by myself, and I
Speaker 5: was just like doing a thing, taking things, and then
Speaker 5: I got stopped and I was like.
Speaker 1: Oh no. And then I was being.
Speaker 5: Not cooperative and I got them to say that they
Speaker 5: would release me to anyone over the age of eighteen.
Speaker 5: So I called my friend Caitlin and I was like, Ken,
Speaker 5: your older sister Courtney picked me up and she was like,
Speaker 5: where on are we? So then Courtney, they're also white,
Speaker 5: so they were like, these aren't your parents?
Speaker 1: I get these are?
Speaker 3: They're very young, like one is fifteen, the other is
Speaker 3: twenty one, Like what?
Speaker 1: So yeah, she was able to sign me out of
Speaker 1: Jay jail.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I have so many questions. It was old
Speaker 3: Navy jail. It was like an old Navy security.
Speaker 1: Guard or it was.
Speaker 5: It was I think it was like a secret shopper.
Speaker 5: It wasn't police police, and they just like held me
Speaker 5: in the back. But Macy's and Harold Square has an
Speaker 5: actual jail underneath the Macy's and I know that because
Speaker 5: I was arrested as you were arrested there.
Speaker 3: What were you trying to take from Macy's.
Speaker 5: Oh, one thousand dollars is grand larceny and it was
Speaker 5: about nine hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: Did you know going into it that one thousand dollars
Speaker 3: was grand larceny?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 5: Wow, that was just very very lucky that I was
Speaker 5: stealing things on sale, right, You're a frugal piece. Yeah,
Speaker 5: even when I'm not paying, I'm like, oh, well, I
Speaker 5: need to get a deal exactly.
Speaker 3: I want a deal on this. As I think about
Speaker 3: the things I stole from the jail downstairs, I love
Speaker 3: that you were not being cooperative because I too, also
Speaker 3: really had a mouth on me and any time I
Speaker 3: had to deal with authority, Yeah.
Speaker 5: There's times where I've been pulled over where I'm like,
Speaker 5: you should have brought.
Speaker 1: Me to jail. I was being so rude.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yep. I had a police officer once say to me, don't.
Speaker 3: I literally ran from him. As a teen, I ran
Speaker 3: and he said, stop running, or I will make this
Speaker 3: an on site arrest. And I spun around and I
Speaker 3: looked at him and I said, aren't all arrests on site?
Speaker 1: Funny? Because you're right, but like, not the time, not
Speaker 1: the time at all, not the time.
Speaker 3: To be smart ass.
Speaker 1: But I just love it.
Speaker 3: And now I wouldn't do that. I don't know what happened,
Speaker 3: did I did? I Is there like a part of
Speaker 3: me that should I try to get that back because
Speaker 3: I would never know.
Speaker 1: Now I would be I don't know.
Speaker 3: If it's kids or just being.
Speaker 5: It's being an adult going. Today's not the day I die, exact, I.
Speaker 1: Don't want to die on this hill now.
Speaker 5: And when you're like a teen, you're like, I don't know,
Speaker 5: I'll never die, Yes, and you truly just do whatever
Speaker 5: you want. Yeah, Now I don't I think I would
Speaker 5: be more cooperative, yeah, but yeah, I wasn't cooperative then.
Speaker 5: I remember I once got pulled over. This was in
Speaker 5: my early twenties or no, maybe I was like twenty five,
Speaker 5: because it was here and I had dealer plates on
Speaker 5: my little Honda Civic for four years. Oh no, this
Speaker 5: was my next cart. I had a little BMW, a
Speaker 5: little one series. I kept the dealer plates on for
Speaker 5: four years. And I got pulled over and he was like,
Speaker 5: why don't you have plates on? And I was like,
Speaker 5: I don't know who you kill me truly, and then he.
Speaker 1: Was like I should, like I don't. He said something
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 3: And I was like, guess what. I'll fix it, and
Speaker 3: he was like, don't say guess what. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: now I'm gonna tell me how to talk.
Speaker 1: You're gonna police you talk.
Speaker 3: And it's like, what right? I was exactly. I was
Speaker 3: in the wrong one hundred percent. I got pulled over
Speaker 3: once for tinted front windows. Yes, they don't really do
Speaker 3: that as much anymore, but it used to be a
Speaker 3: big deal. Mine were like completely blacked out. And I
Speaker 3: rolled down my window and the guy was talking to me,
Speaker 3: and it was like halfway down, halfway up, and at
Speaker 3: some point he just stuck his hand into my car, which,
Speaker 3: by the way, feels feels a little aggressive. But he
Speaker 3: took his fingernail and he and he like it down
Speaker 3: the tint to make a point to me that this
Speaker 3: type of tint is illegal. And in his mind he
Speaker 3: was writing me a ticket anyway, and I was going
Speaker 3: to have to have it taken off. But I never
Speaker 3: had any intention of taking it off. So when he
Speaker 3: did that, uh huh, that royally ticked me off because
Speaker 3: now I have a scratch on my thing. And so
Speaker 3: I like looked up at him and I was like, hey,
Speaker 3: don't do and I fully freaked out at him, and
Speaker 3: he jumped and everything. At the fact that I like
Speaker 3: screamed at him. In hindsight, I'm like, what what or
Speaker 3: what was I thinking? Like, just take the ticket and
Speaker 3: go about your dad.
Speaker 5: Also, he shouldn't have with your car. Just because you're
Speaker 5: an authority figure doesn't mean you get to with me.
Speaker 3: Right, I take it back. I'm so happy I said something.
Speaker 1: But it's like that, just take it.
Speaker 3: It's such a weird thing where you have to choose,
Speaker 3: you have to pick your battles. I know, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I still I probably should have been more scared than
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 1: Back No, be fearless.
Speaker 3: What do you think your teachers, if you could interview
Speaker 3: a teacher of yours right now, what do you think
Speaker 3: your teachers would say? They would have predicted that you
Speaker 3: would have done with your future. Hmm.
Speaker 5: I don't think any of them would be surprised, right,
Speaker 5: I really don't, because I was truly so loud, I
Speaker 5: talk so much.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think they'd be surprised at all. None
Speaker 3: of mine would be either, not one little bit. I
Speaker 3: had a science teacher actually say to me once, Danielle,
Speaker 3: stop talking. Pay attention. There's no world where you're going
Speaker 3: to talk for a living.
Speaker 1: Who had the last laugh? This is a podcast talking.
Speaker 1: I mean, here's the book.
Speaker 3: Who would have known? Some might say he saw the future.
Speaker 1: Wait, I'm trying to think.
Speaker 5: Missus Hedzinski, my third grade teacher, she'd probably be surprised
Speaker 5: because she just didn't like Yeah, she'd be like, wow,
Speaker 5: people like her.
Speaker 1: She was so mean to me.
Speaker 3: For Also, I'm like, don't be a teacher if you're
Speaker 3: gonna have biases against children exactly. Yeah. That science teacher
Speaker 3: did not like me.
Speaker 1: And that's it's like I have to be here.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Also, if you don't like me, it's third grade,
Speaker 3: switch classes.
Speaker 1: Have me move. You're the adult. She sucked every morning.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, I have a tummy ache.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: My mother'd be like, you don't.
Speaker 5: I'd be like you're right, then I'd like go to
Speaker 5: the nurse and be like, I got a tummy, agg
Speaker 5: do you believe that?
Speaker 3: And go back to class and like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: with this lady and she was your what period did she?
Speaker 1: Third grade? Teacher grade?
Speaker 3: She was so mean all day, all in day. I
Speaker 3: remember she had a black bob. It just sounds awful,
Speaker 3: but she bangs.
Speaker 5: She she wasn't old old, but my kindergarten teacher, missus Labach,
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I really remember these people's names.
Speaker 1: She was old as and she didn't like me either.
Speaker 3: I also swear I had an old kindergarten teacher. My
Speaker 3: mom swear she was in her forties there.
Speaker 1: As a child, You're like forties.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe I know it's true, And now in my forties,
Speaker 3: I'm like forties and near death. But I do. I
Speaker 3: do think that she was older than my mom remembers,
Speaker 3: because when I look at a picture of her, she's
Speaker 3: got a full pixie cut, and it's great. Absolutely, it's
Speaker 3: all great. And I'm like, I mean, I think she's
Speaker 3: older than probably. Yeah, I don't remember whether or not
Speaker 3: she was nice or whether she was mean. I just
Speaker 3: remember thinking, I remember all of my elementary school teachers.
Speaker 3: First grade, I think that was Missus Rooney. Oh you
Speaker 3: really do remember all their names?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Fourth grade was Missus Gussey. She got married halfway through
Speaker 5: and became Missus Rosatto. I was so excited to be
Speaker 5: in her class. And then she was a bitch to
Speaker 5: me too.
Speaker 1: Why so many teachers?
Speaker 5: As I talked, so, you were a distract and I
Speaker 5: an ADHD and I'll never forget. In fourth grade, Missus
Speaker 5: Gussey gave us a math test and I'm not great
Speaker 5: at math, but I am okay at like looking at
Speaker 5: numbers and guessing and working backwards yep. And then she
Speaker 5: was like, you cheated, and I was like, I didn't cheat.
Speaker 5: So then she made me take the test again outside.
Speaker 5: I did the same thing, and then she had a
Speaker 5: conference with my mom. My mom was like, I don't know,
Speaker 5: like Ada said, he didn't cheat. You did it again.
Speaker 5: You didn't cheat, You're fine. I was like, okay, But
Speaker 5: she was just like mean to me the rest of
Speaker 5: the year.
Speaker 3: I think, especially with math, anytime you can get to
Speaker 3: the correct answer, I don't you. How dare you tell
Speaker 3: me I have to use your formula to get to
Speaker 3: the right answer. It's a quiz or a test. You
Speaker 3: asked me for the answer, I gave it to you.
Speaker 3: I'm able to show my work even if it's not
Speaker 3: the way you want it to be.
Speaker 1: That's how I feel.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I was doing new Math before they started teaching it.
Speaker 5: New Math does not make sense.
Speaker 3: No, it does not. My kids are in it now.
Speaker 5: How my brain works where it's like, oh, just imagine
Speaker 5: that without that number. Then you do the math and
Speaker 5: then you add that number. Like it doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3: Don't teach children that, right, But if it's how your
Speaker 3: brain how so.
Speaker 1: It's like, whatever, don't. I don't know. The way they
Speaker 1: teach kids now is so crazy to me.
Speaker 3: I know, my son comes home. He's only in first grade.
Speaker 3: I did not expect to feel dumb in only first grade.
Speaker 3: But he comes home with literacy homework and math homework,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, what am I supposed to It's like
Speaker 3: cover up the word here, show them only the last letter,
Speaker 3: have them work on the site word. Then I'm like,
Speaker 3: what what are we doing? And then factor families was
Speaker 3: that it's kind of I think part of New Math,
Speaker 3: but I don't really know, but like, oh, seventeen and
Speaker 3: then it's got two lines off of it. Now you
Speaker 3: have to break up all the different ways you can
Speaker 3: get to seventeen calling so like you know ten and seven,
Speaker 3: nine and eight, and now you have to do all
Speaker 3: these factor families. It's a lot.
Speaker 5: Well that's great, that's only us great. Factor families is useless.
Speaker 3: It feels so busy work.
Speaker 5: I heard they don't teach phonetics anymore. Like sounding out words.
Speaker 3: My son is sounding out works. OK, so at least
Speaker 3: out here they're still doing that. He but you know,
Speaker 3: he's we read a book last night where the names
Speaker 3: of the characters in the books were twig, tint, and drop.
Speaker 3: They were paint brushes to be fair, But he who
Speaker 3: are the children? So he's like, yeah, twag And I
Speaker 3: was like, no, must write again, what an icon.
Speaker 1: This way? Do it?
Speaker 3: Same thing? Tint tin, mm hm, taunt so ghost ghost,
Speaker 3: let's practice our vowel sounds. Go back to vowel sounds
Speaker 3: and so yeah. I tried to be very patient, and
Speaker 3: that didn't last very much.
Speaker 5: I think that's why I can't have kids. I'm not
Speaker 5: patient at all. Be like, why don't you get it?
Speaker 1: Like they just got here. I have to teach you.
Speaker 3: I'll never forget. Right after we had Adler and you
Speaker 3: have this brand new baby, and Jensen looked at me
Speaker 3: one day and he goes, oh, my gosh, someday I'm
Speaker 3: gonna have to explain to him what rain is. It
Speaker 3: was like this deep moment that he realized, like, you
Speaker 3: will know nothing, not even want rain.
Speaker 1: That's sweet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's cute. And then literally one day there was like,
Speaker 3: what is rain? And Jens looked at Me's.
Speaker 1: Like, my moment has a rived.
Speaker 3: It is I don't study it, I don't know something.
Speaker 3: The moisture from.
Speaker 1: Clouds and like the sky's crying.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I've had I've had three years. I
Speaker 3: didn't learn it. This is terrible. We're terrible parents. One
Speaker 3: of the things that stands out to me watching your
Speaker 3: stand up is your confidence. It's beautiful. Were you always
Speaker 3: a confident person?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yes, I love it.
Speaker 1: You simply couldn't tell me anything. I yeah.
Speaker 5: I also I think it was middle school, it might
Speaker 5: have been eighth grade. I like get things in my
Speaker 5: brain and I'm like, this is what I need. And
Speaker 5: I remember eighth grade. My mother was like, what do
Speaker 5: you want for Christmas? And I was like an oatmeal
Speaker 5: colored sweater and dark flares.
Speaker 1: I don't it wasn't like in style.
Speaker 5: I had never seen it on anybody, but I think
Speaker 5: I saw it in the store and I was like,
Speaker 5: that's the sweater I want, and I want those dark flares.
Speaker 1: I don't know. And then I wore it to school
Speaker 1: and I never felt better.
Speaker 3: Right, You just knew you had like a real knowing
Speaker 3: about yourself.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I've always had just I would just do
Speaker 5: things like when I did the first play I ever
Speaker 5: did was a junior year. At no point was I
Speaker 5: like I'm gonna fail, which is crazy.
Speaker 3: Right, crazy thought?
Speaker 1: Yes that you had.
Speaker 3: No that was like, well, obviously I'm gonna nail it.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: And then when I did track and field in high school,
Speaker 5: I did shot.
Speaker 1: Put, which is the fat girls sport. Uh. They see
Speaker 1: a fatty and they go you could throw something. That's
Speaker 1: literally what happened. We were in like gym class. Mister Haynes.
Speaker 1: I really liked him. He was like, I think he might.
Speaker 5: Be strong, and I was like, okay, he was like
Speaker 5: go down today after school. Talked to what was his name,
Speaker 5: Carl something, who is the coach Tortia.
Speaker 3: Wow, shout out to these teachers from Middletown.
Speaker 5: But he was like, go talk to him and see
Speaker 5: if he can, like show you how to throw a
Speaker 5: shot put. And I was like oh, And then I
Speaker 5: did it and I was like good at it, and
Speaker 5: I was like great, Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's what I'll do now. I love this.
Speaker 3: I'm an athlete.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, and I simply won't practice.
Speaker 1: I'll just be good.
Speaker 3: And is that what you did? Yeah?
Speaker 5: It was pretty good. I could have been a state
Speaker 5: champ had I practiced. That's what you kept saying. He
Speaker 5: was like, why won't you practice?
Speaker 3: I was like, uh, I mean so in general, the
Speaker 3: entire way I felt about education in high school was
Speaker 3: without working nearly at all, I can get an occasional
Speaker 3: A mm hmm, mostly bes and an occasional C. I
Speaker 3: mean I'm fine with that same. I don't need to
Speaker 3: be a straight A student. What is that going to
Speaker 3: do for me? So if you can be pretty dark,
Speaker 3: not athlete, but not state champ, I mean.
Speaker 1: I mean I got to go to track meets, I
Speaker 1: hung out, I had fun. I had a great time.
Speaker 3: Exactly.
Speaker 5: I didn't go to high school to learn. I went
Speaker 5: to make friends. Yeah, the opposite of someone on a
Speaker 5: reality show.
Speaker 3: It's same. Did you have any crushes? Oh my god,
Speaker 3: were you all about boy crazy? Same boy, boy boy crazy.
Speaker 1: There was Keith Matt that was in elementary school? Middle school?
Speaker 1: Was this kid named Joe? High school? Was this kid
Speaker 1: named Mark? I loved Mark.
Speaker 3: Was Mark your same grade?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 5: Mark was I think was a junior when I was
Speaker 5: a freshman, or was a senior when I was a freshman.
Speaker 1: I don't remember, but I loved Mark.
Speaker 3: And in the hallway I would just be like, hi, Mark.
Speaker 3: And then Mark had a girlfriend and I simply didn't care.
Speaker 3: I don't care break up girl front on board.
Speaker 5: He never broke up with this girlfriend, but he would
Speaker 5: entertain me. He'd be like heynicol Mark.
Speaker 3: There's something about that freshman year of high school where
Speaker 3: there are so many new boys your eyes. Yes, and
Speaker 3: they look old, they look old, and you're like we
Speaker 3: are peers now.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's like these are men.
Speaker 3: Yes. I remember thinking life was never going to get
Speaker 3: better than my freshman year of high school for that reason,
Speaker 3: just great and passing notes? Did you pass not?
Speaker 1: I pass notes all the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Again, I didn't go to learn. I went to socialize.
Speaker 5: And have a nice time.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I would pass notes all the time. There's this girl,
Speaker 5: what was her name? She was really short. We would
Speaker 5: pass notes all the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then this one.
Speaker 5: Teacher who would like always intercept the note and then
Speaker 5: he would read them and then he'd.
Speaker 3: Talk to us about it, and I'd be like, we'll
Speaker 3: get out of the gossip. Yeah, this is not about you.
Speaker 3: Get out of here. I used to leave notes in
Speaker 3: my friend's lockers, you know, like like I would leave
Speaker 3: notes also, Like the guy I liked as a freshman
Speaker 3: was Jeff. Jeff was a senior and he had a car,
Speaker 3: and that's nice. So I would like sneak into the
Speaker 3: parking lot and leave a note on his car, and
Speaker 3: then he would always write me back overnight and give
Speaker 3: me a note the next morning.
Speaker 1: It was just it was never reciprocated for me.
Speaker 3: Mark and his darn girlfriend, I want to get married.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't even know where he is now.
Speaker 3: You overlooked up any of your brushes.
Speaker 1: I looked him up. I looked him up a couple
Speaker 1: of years ago.
Speaker 5: Mark, I think I'm pretty sure he's married, Okay, and
Speaker 5: then Matt, I haven't Keith's mom dms me on Instagram.
Speaker 1: A lot.
Speaker 3: That's cute.
Speaker 1: She's always like Middletown's proud of you. Oh it's not sweet.
Speaker 1: It is very very sweet.
Speaker 3: What happened to Keith?
Speaker 1: Where's Keith? I don't know. I haven't asked where's Keith?
Speaker 3: You got to ask? That's it. I mean for an
Speaker 3: inquisitive person. Yeah, what if he's like dead? Yeah, wow,
Speaker 3: that'd be sad.
Speaker 1: She was like, oh, I was having a good day ballad.
Speaker 3: But also maybe it would make her feel good that
Speaker 3: you maybe remember him and think, especially if you said, like,
Speaker 3: always think so fondly. If Keith, what's he up to
Speaker 3: these days? I don't know. I don't know why I'm
Speaker 3: being so nosy.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 5: Mike Lindy, that's another one. I remember that first and
Speaker 5: last name. He was so cute.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. There are so many cuties.
Speaker 3: I have only recently thought, oh my gosh, I should
Speaker 3: look up some of these people and it. Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: not always. It's not always good. Uh did you go
Speaker 3: to any school dances?
Speaker 1: I went to.
Speaker 5: Homecoming dances. I didn't go to either of my proms.
Speaker 5: Why I simply wasn't interested.
Speaker 3: No, it didn't care well because we just didn't reciprocate.
Speaker 5: Okay, and then I hated the idea of going with
Speaker 5: just my girlfriends right, which now is so silly.
Speaker 1: I know, I just went to the after parties after
Speaker 1: that's cool.
Speaker 3: You were cool. I wasn't cool enough to even go
Speaker 3: to the I would didn't even know there were after parties.
Speaker 3: I just went to like all the basic bitch dances,
Speaker 3: but I lived for them as a person who was
Speaker 3: only in school for that occasion. I thought the dances
Speaker 3: were great. Did you ever go in a Did you
Speaker 3: go in a limo to homecoming? No? Okay, no, my
Speaker 3: parents would never spend money like that, right, I mean,
Speaker 3: a limo is weird. I don't know why kids go
Speaker 3: in limos to things.
Speaker 1: I don't hate it. I wish limos would come back.
Speaker 1: I think it's.
Speaker 5: Really sad that people are driven around in like suburbans
Speaker 5: and escalis.
Speaker 1: Bring back limos.
Speaker 3: I didn't even think about the fact that I don't
Speaker 3: know when the last time was that I even saw
Speaker 3: a limo. Yeah, it's a dying breed, and I don't
Speaker 3: like it. I'm losing the whimsy of the world. You're right,
Speaker 3: like it's like someone was like, what if cars were longer,
Speaker 3: and then they made them right, and then they were like,
Speaker 3: we don't want long cars, and we don't want those
Speaker 3: anymore now we just want tall cars. Well, yeah, they're
Speaker 3: getting tall, getting taller, but they're not getting longer. No,
Speaker 3: I took Lance bast to.
Speaker 1: My prom Really, that's so fun.
Speaker 4: It was.
Speaker 3: It was really, really very fun, especially.
Speaker 1: The part was he he was in sync at the time.
Speaker 3: He was in in sync at the time, and I
Speaker 3: was really thinking it was going to be the night
Speaker 3: that I was gonna lose my virginity, and he realized
Speaker 3: it was like this was never gonna happen for him. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and he was like, let's watch the Green Mile, and
Speaker 3: yeah it was. He broke up with me shortly thereafter
Speaker 3: and then ended up coming out of the closet not
Speaker 3: that long after that.
Speaker 1: Wow, did that rock you a little bit?
Speaker 3: Yeah, because mostly because when he broke up with me,
Speaker 3: I was so devastated and couldn't imagine a world where
Speaker 3: there would ever be a time where we were not together.
Speaker 3: And the excuse for I broke up made no sense,
Speaker 3: and I was just like, I don't get it. This
Speaker 3: came out of left field, and my mom said, do
Speaker 3: you think there's a chance that he is gay? And
Speaker 3: I was one hundred percent convinced. She only said that
Speaker 3: and thought that because he broke up with me. I
Speaker 3: was like, Mom, he can, yeah, I know, you could
Speaker 3: just be me. And he was like, guess what, I'm
Speaker 3: gay exactly as long as you do almost to hear
Speaker 3: really yeah, yeah. But I it was the perfect relationship
Speaker 3: for me because I was as much as I was
Speaker 3: boy crazy, I didn't really want anybody touching me. I
Speaker 3: wanted to, like kiss, but I didn't act I was
Speaker 3: not right.
Speaker 1: He was like, I don't have to do any ofthing.
Speaker 3: I don't have to do any thing. And she still
Speaker 3: likes me.
Speaker 1: She's my best friend.
Speaker 3: Gossiping gap okay, and I probably think I have a
Speaker 3: great a little bit exactly, no big deal. It was
Speaker 3: a real perfect relationship. At homecoming did kids drink? Did
Speaker 3: you drink?
Speaker 4: Not?
Speaker 3: At the dance after at the after parties, yeah. I
Speaker 3: was not cool enough to ever go to those, so
Speaker 3: I did not know what happened there. Again, I was
Speaker 3: a real square all through high school.
Speaker 1: When did you drink? For the first time?
Speaker 3: When I moved out of my parents' house.
Speaker 1: Really. Yeah, I drink a lot in high school.
Speaker 5: I can't drink absolute vanilla anymore because I would drink.
Speaker 3: That just like straight straight. Oh wow. Yeah.
Speaker 5: And then I moved on to slowly raspberry, which I
Speaker 5: can't drink anymore. I drink that from like nineteen to
Speaker 5: like twenty five. Oh I smell it, and I'm like.
Speaker 3: Oh god, even hearing you talk about it, I can
Speaker 3: smell it. I can also mine that's like, that is
Speaker 3: peach schnapps. When we went on our high school well,
Speaker 3: you know, you graduate high school and you go somewhere,
Speaker 3: you like go on a trip.
Speaker 1: I didn't do that.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, there was like a high school graduating trip
Speaker 3: and they all went to I think they went to Mexico.
Speaker 3: And my parents were like, you are not going with
Speaker 3: a group of high school students to Mexico.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like Cancun or something right exactly.
Speaker 3: And they were like, you're not doing that. But my
Speaker 3: best friend's family and my family did say, mm, will
Speaker 3: pay to send you somewhere just the two of you
Speaker 3: where at least we that's nice. It was really nice.
Speaker 3: It was very nice. So they sent us to the
Speaker 3: Bahamas alone, and we did not know anything about drinking
Speaker 3: because we did not drink through high school, so we
Speaker 3: did not know about mixing. Oh, we didn't know about
Speaker 3: what it took to get a buzz or to be drunk.
Speaker 3: We didn't know when to stop or what to start with.
Speaker 3: Ooh nothing, did you guys? Go like hard hard, And
Speaker 3: we started with a kalua and milk, As everyone knows,
Speaker 3: a great base for alcohol is milk. Literally started with
Speaker 3: a klue and milk, and then went to shots of tequila.
Speaker 3: I think about four in a row, just bam, bam,
Speaker 3: bad stomach. And then shortly thereafter met up with some
Speaker 3: friends who were drinking directly from a bottle of peach
Speaker 3: schnapps and just drink peach schnaps. When I tell you that,
Speaker 3: my best friend had to hold my head up because
Speaker 3: I was just vomiting in my sleep, she was like
Speaker 3: directing my head to a bucket's friend. And all I
Speaker 3: can smell taste anything is peach knops y Never I
Speaker 3: will not. I don't drink at all anymore, not for many,
Speaker 3: many years. But if I ever get a whiff of
Speaker 3: peach schnops, it's just over.
Speaker 1: Correct clue and milk and vodka is a white Russian. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I do like a white Russian.
Speaker 3: But one one one yeah, mm hmm my god. Do
Speaker 3: you have any horrible drinking first time drinking stories or
Speaker 3: were you just an expert right off the bat.
Speaker 1: No, no, I was bad at it. I do remember.
Speaker 5: It was like after a play, I drank maybe half
Speaker 5: a bottle of absolute vanilla and then passed out of
Speaker 5: my friend's floor and.
Speaker 1: Like woke up.
Speaker 5: It was a hardwood floor and just like woke up
Speaker 5: drooling on myself and I was just like oh, and
Speaker 5: everyone was.
Speaker 1: Like you were so funny, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: bet I was.
Speaker 3: Don't remember a thing, but I.
Speaker 1: Didn't get like.
Speaker 3: I wasn't on benders until like my twenties, right right, Yeah,
Speaker 3: got it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, in high school, I remember after the plays
Speaker 1: we would.
Speaker 3: We get a little lit. I want to go back
Speaker 3: to you just for a second, to pitch the idea
Speaker 3: that you write a Hallmark movie for yourself that is
Speaker 3: about you finding out what Keith's up to and going
Speaker 3: back to your small town, maybe to do a stand
Speaker 3: up special or something you heckle, like somebody heckles you
Speaker 3: fights Keith.
Speaker 5: Oh No, I mean it's not a bad idea. But
Speaker 5: I simply will not be going back to Middletown or Jersey.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 5: I did go back, maybe like two years ago because
Speaker 5: I wanted to see what my old house look like. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and then I was just in front of my old
Speaker 5: house and I was like, do I knock on the door?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Ay, I used to live here and do that. No,
Speaker 3: I just drove away. Oh well they changed the color.
Speaker 3: There's like and I know it's like you buy a house,
Speaker 3: you do what you want to it. But I was like,
Speaker 3: that's my home. I mean, how long ago was it
Speaker 3: your home? I believe it should be painted.
Speaker 1: In two thousand and eight, Okay, so seventeen years. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it should look different.
Speaker 3: It should probably at least have a refresh. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 3: I think they picked bad colors. Oh yeah, then you
Speaker 3: know you don't like them. I want to pitch a
Speaker 3: show where I go to people's homes and I go,
Speaker 3: why'd you do this? Yeah? What is this?
Speaker 1: This is ugly? I don't like it.
Speaker 3: Can I make a suggestionion? Why explain it? I need?
Speaker 3: I need you need to back this up, back this up. Please.
Speaker 3: Your love for Sonic the hedgehop my has been well
Speaker 3: documented over the years. Was this an interest from your
Speaker 3: childhood or is this something you picked up later in life?
Speaker 1: You know, great question.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 5: I played the Sega video games as a kid, okay
Speaker 5: on a Sega Genesis, and then never thought about Sonic
Speaker 5: again until the movie came out.
Speaker 1: And I think it came out during the pandemic. I
Speaker 1: think I don't remember.
Speaker 5: I just remember watching it on my floor and I
Speaker 5: started sobbing at one part because I.
Speaker 3: Was like, oh my god, Sonic moves too fast to
Speaker 3: have like meaningful relationships. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel like I moved too fast.
Speaker 3: I am Sonic, Tonic is me. And then I finished
Speaker 3: the movie and just started it again and watched it
Speaker 3: a second time, and I.
Speaker 5: Was like, oh, I cried again. And then I was like,
Speaker 5: I just love Sonic. And then I like the second
Speaker 5: one and then the third one. Have you seen them? Yes,
Speaker 5: the third one takes a turn. It's very dark.
Speaker 3: I know, it's like john Wick for kids. It is,
Speaker 3: and that's they got yes, and they got john Wick
Speaker 3: to be Shadow.
Speaker 5: And I just I really like them. I think it's
Speaker 5: such a fun franchise.
Speaker 3: I do too. I love them, and my kids love them.
Speaker 3: One thing I did not like is in Sonic three
Speaker 3: when Jim Carrey's character Doctor Robotnick is caught off guard
Speaker 3: and he's like playing the bongos on his belly and
Speaker 3: they spin the chair around. We saw that in the
Speaker 3: preview before the movie actually came out, and my kids
Speaker 3: were like, I thought it was the most hilarious thing
Speaker 3: they'd ever seen. And then about a week later, I
Speaker 3: was changing into my pajamas in front of my four
Speaker 3: year old, who was three at the time, and he went, oh, mommy,
Speaker 3: like doctor Robotnick and started patting on his belly at
Speaker 3: the side of me. Got my shirt on, And that's
Speaker 3: literally the only thing I think of when I think
Speaker 3: of Sonic three is that's really sight of my son
Speaker 3: telling me that I was Doctor Robotnick.
Speaker 1: That's really funny.
Speaker 5: My friend's daughter, she was I don't know, maybe like eight,
Speaker 5: and we were shopping and I was fully clothed and
Speaker 5: she pressed on my stomach and she went, ooh, a
Speaker 5: bouncy ball. And I was like cool, and she went
Speaker 5: did I tell a lie? And I was like, no, I.
Speaker 1: Guess you did it.
Speaker 5: Then she said, it's okay if you're a bouncy ball
Speaker 5: as long as you're happy, and then she like cart
Speaker 5: wheeled away, and I was like, wow, she gets it.
Speaker 1: My gosh, it's so rude, so rude, rude and yet
Speaker 1: also so rude.
Speaker 3: I just love her.
Speaker 1: She's very fun.
Speaker 3: She's like, listen, let's just call a spade. Is bade
Speaker 3: nothing wrong with it?
Speaker 1: And I just said it. I felt and I said it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's go. If you had to sell Sonic the
Speaker 3: Hedgehog over Mario the Brother an underdog position, what is
Speaker 3: your argument for my listeners? Wait? What do you mean, Like,
Speaker 3: if you had to make an argument for why Sonic
Speaker 3: the Hedgehog is better than Mario.
Speaker 1: Oh, sure, Sonic is. It's a real fantasy.
Speaker 5: He comes from outer space, he has lore, he has
Speaker 5: a backstory.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Mario he's a plumber yeah. And a brother yeah.
Speaker 3: And as a brother, so like, okay, you have.
Speaker 1: A brother probably or a sibling, Like do you deserve
Speaker 1: you come from space? Yeah? You didn't come from space.
Speaker 1: You don't collect rings?
Speaker 3: Yeah, super fast? I mean yeah, I don't even know
Speaker 3: why I consider that at the top to be an
Speaker 3: underdog position. I'm not really sure. There's I guess you
Speaker 3: get Mario gets to eat mushrooms. And grow. Uh, But
Speaker 3: I'm not sure. I'm not sure any of that's better
Speaker 3: than what Sonic's got going for him.
Speaker 5: Sonic hats to go really fast and turns into a
Speaker 5: little ball and goes even faster.
Speaker 1: I just think Sonic is deeply more interesting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, I think you've sold me. Tell me
Speaker 3: about your teenage wardrobe. What were you wearing? I know
Speaker 3: you mentioned the camel sweater and the flares, but like,
Speaker 3: what was your go to style?
Speaker 1: This is again the confidence I had.
Speaker 5: I was a redhead for a lot of my teens,
Speaker 5: like burgundy red.
Speaker 3: I love that for it.
Speaker 5: And I had at one point like dyed my hair
Speaker 5: with kool aid, and if you look under a microscope,
Speaker 5: it's like little sugar granules I think that's the word,
Speaker 5: and they're sharp, so it like like broke off my hair.
Speaker 1: So I then had to cut it very very short.
Speaker 5: So then I had a very short Missy Elliott haircut,
Speaker 5: but it was like tinted burgundy. And then I would
Speaker 5: like dye pieces of hair and stick them in but
Speaker 5: you could definitely see the tracks at all times.
Speaker 3: Was dying hair with kool aid a like a thing
Speaker 3: other people did? Or did you just make that up.
Speaker 1: I made it up.
Speaker 5: I don't think i'd ever heard it because I didn't
Speaker 5: have the internet at the time. Yes, but I was
Speaker 5: just like making kool aid once because I hated water
Speaker 5: and my parents set me up for failure by letting
Speaker 5: me drink kool aid for water.
Speaker 1: And I remember making it and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's stained my hands and I was like, I'll be
Speaker 1: dye my hair with that.
Speaker 5: Because my mother wouldn't let me dye my hair, so
Speaker 5: I died it with the kool aid.
Speaker 3: I found a loophole. Oh smart.
Speaker 1: I would always find loopholes.
Speaker 5: I remember, because we had like a decent backyard and
Speaker 5: I was like, can we have a pool?
Speaker 1: My mom was like, you know what, I'll think about it.
Speaker 1: That might be nice.
Speaker 5: And then she spent like a week thinking about it,
Speaker 5: and she said we're not going to get a pool.
Speaker 5: And I was like why and she said because I
Speaker 5: would say, don't go out there alone, and I know
Speaker 5: i'd find you out there alone, but go mom.
Speaker 3: My stuffed animals are out here, so technically I'm not alone.
Speaker 3: I was like, you got me a bit. It got me.
Speaker 3: I would definitely say that your mom knew you well
Speaker 3: oh well. She used to say, there's nothing you can
Speaker 3: do that can surprised me. And I was like, huh,
Speaker 3: I know that's to deter me from acting poorly, but
Speaker 3: that stal challenge she feels like, and I'll accept it.
Speaker 3: Did you ever do anything that really surprised her?
Speaker 5: I was constantly doing things that I think surprised her.
Speaker 5: But she had a real poker face. Yeah, she was like,
Speaker 5: come on, you haven't seen that one before.
Speaker 3: My mom used to say stuff like that to me too.
Speaker 3: You're never going to outsmart me anything you think of doing.
Speaker 3: I have already done that.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't think so.
Speaker 3: One of the things, this is such a dumb thing.
Speaker 3: But one thing my mom did that now as an adult,
Speaker 3: I'm like, that was so smart. When she would ground me,
Speaker 3: which I got grounded often, and when I got grounded,
Speaker 3: it meant I was not allowed to talk on the phone,
Speaker 3: because of course that's all I wanted to do. Yes,
Speaker 3: talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk
Speaker 3: talk talk talk. And so when she had to leave
Speaker 3: to go do something, and I would be grounded, So
Speaker 3: I wasn't even allowed to like go to the grocery
Speaker 3: store with her. No, you have to stay here. You
Speaker 3: can read your books, you can't listen to music, you
Speaker 3: can't watch TV, you can't talk on the phone. And
Speaker 3: you'd think, well, how is she going to know you're
Speaker 3: talking on the phone. It's a landline. My mom would
Speaker 3: call the number to time.
Speaker 1: Do you remember that?
Speaker 3: You could call like one eight hundred five five five
Speaker 3: one seven four to two or something. There was a
Speaker 3: number and it would tell you the universal time. The
Speaker 3: time is no, uh huh, So my mom, there was
Speaker 3: a number you could call. My mom would call that
Speaker 3: number that she knew I didn't know, and she'd say,
Speaker 3: all I'm gonna do when I get home is hit
Speaker 3: redial and make sure it's the last number I called.
Speaker 5: Wow, honestly, that's good.
Speaker 3: How smart? That's good? So annoying. I couldn't get away with.
Speaker 1: Anything that sucks, but also that's really good.
Speaker 3: I know. I just inspire to be like my mother.
Speaker 3: My god, I would like to manifest something for you. You. Okay,
Speaker 3: I know you post your poll dancing clips on Instagram? Yes,
Speaker 3: what about Nicole Byer dancing with the Stars.
Speaker 1: Okay, here's the thing. Okay, it seems really hard. It's hard, and.
Speaker 5: It seems so I pull dance and then when I'm tired,
Speaker 5: I go all done. But I feel like when you're
Speaker 5: dancing for a TV show, they go, You're not all done.
Speaker 5: You have to keep rehearsing. Yeah, and then that kind
Speaker 5: of with like my vibe with like having fun.
Speaker 3: Right, Well, here's the thing, here's what I'll tell you.
Speaker 3: They they give you four hours a day, uh huh
Speaker 3: to rehearse seven days a week, and then as you progress,
Speaker 3: it becomes five hours a day, and it becomes six
Speaker 3: hours a day. And then when you need or want
Speaker 3: extra time, you just go to a different studio and
Speaker 3: rehearse elsewhere. However, they truly will let you do whatever
Speaker 3: you want to do. You only want to work out
Speaker 3: for it, you only want to work on it for
Speaker 3: two hours.
Speaker 1: Then I'll be bad.
Speaker 3: I know. That's that. So it's the catch twenty two.
Speaker 3: It's just how badly do you want it? But I
Speaker 3: was shocked at how much I left it, and really shocked.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite genre of Dunce?
Speaker 3: I fell in love with all of the traditional ballrooms. Yes,
Speaker 3: I did not like the latins as much as I
Speaker 3: thought for sure I was going to go in there
Speaker 3: and be like, oh, I'm the.
Speaker 5: GPS, real loose hips and like real liquid movement.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a square, so I was very keep calling
Speaker 3: yourself a square, I am. I'm just a big old square.
Speaker 3: I'm built like square, I act like a square. I'm
Speaker 3: a big old square. But I just loved it. I
Speaker 3: loved being in frame. I love learning about frame. It
Speaker 3: was all really frame frame, the frame you hold yourself
Speaker 3: in so you know where you put your hand for
Speaker 3: taking posture. Thank you all. And I got better from
Speaker 3: dance because my shoulders were always up in my ears
Speaker 3: and I was constantly hearing about it. I think knowing
Speaker 3: how similar hearing, learning how similar we were as children,
Speaker 3: and knowing what we do for a living, I feel
Speaker 3: like if I loved it as much as I did,
Speaker 3: And are you a competitive person?
Speaker 1: I love to win, but I love a strategy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And the strategy of Dancing with the Stars is practice,
Speaker 5: and that's it is.
Speaker 3: And also there is strategy because music choice is massive strategy.
Speaker 3: You get to choose the music, you get to have
Speaker 3: a hand in choosing the music, and you get to
Speaker 3: pick and choose which week you do which dances. So
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, you know, based on if I know
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say, you know you're gonna do the season?
Speaker 3: You can start researching. Let me watch a tango. Let
Speaker 3: me let me see how I think. Do I think
Speaker 3: I'm gonna like a tango? Maybe not? Is tango gonna
Speaker 3: be hard for me? Let's kick that down the road.
Speaker 3: Then let's start with something easier. But I want to
Speaker 3: show my personality right off the bat. So I'm gonna
Speaker 3: pick a fiery song or I'm gonna pick a song
Speaker 3: I love.
Speaker 5: This is funny because when I started poll dancing, I
Speaker 5: was like, everyone has to do it like you sound
Speaker 5: like I feel, yes, the.
Speaker 3: Same energy where I'm like, I'm really.
Speaker 1: Like do it, do it and pulled.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you can do it. You don't have to
Speaker 3: take off your clothes. It doesn't have to be slutty.
Speaker 3: You don't have to even like reclaim anything. You could
Speaker 3: just like move your body and like climb up a hole.
Speaker 1: And be like I'm strong.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I loved I did some pole dancing classes.
Speaker 1: I loved it so much.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you might inspire me to get back into it.
Speaker 3: Do you have a hole in your house?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Uh? Is it one that like retracts up into the
Speaker 3: ceiling when you have people over.
Speaker 1: Is it just one that simply don't have that money?
Speaker 3: Okay, I have.
Speaker 1: Just a standard pole that lives there.
Speaker 3: I actually think the cheaper ones are the ones that
Speaker 3: like it's like a hook in the ceiling and then
Speaker 3: you pull it down and it goes back up, so
Speaker 3: that you if you if you live in like a
Speaker 3: smaller place and you don't want everyone coming into your
Speaker 3: house and being like, nice pole, Uh, you can just
Speaker 3: put it just like.
Speaker 1: Nah, just lives there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, you're gonna inspire me maybe to get
Speaker 3: into pole dancing and love it, and maybe we can
Speaker 3: talk about you doing Dancing with the Stars. I have
Speaker 3: no By the way, I don't make any money off
Speaker 3: getting people onto Dancing with the Stars. I have also
Speaker 3: no poles getting people. I just feel like I loved
Speaker 3: it so much I want to share that experience with
Speaker 3: everyone the same way.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's how I feel about pole dancing. I'm like,
Speaker 5: you'll love it. It's not as hard as it looks,
Speaker 5: and you get to wear great big heels.
Speaker 1: I love the heels.
Speaker 3: The heels are great. Ugh, the heels are really fun.
Speaker 3: I loved the heels all and dancing with the stars too.
Speaker 3: I had so much fun in the episode with Nicole.
Speaker 3: I'm bringing her back for a bonus episode where we
Speaker 3: will get to hear one of your embarrassing stories, So
Speaker 3: make sure you check that episode out on Friday. Thank
Speaker 3: you all for joining us for this episode of teen Beat.
Speaker 3: Teen Beat is an iHeart podcast produced and hosted by
Speaker 3: Danielle Fischel. Executive producers Jensen Karp and Amy Sugarman, Executive
Speaker 3: in charge of production Danielle Romo, producer and editor Tara Soubach.
Speaker 3: The theme song is by Mark Coppus, Yes that Mark Coppus.
Speaker 3: Follow us on Instagram at teen beat pod.