Speaker 1: Gambling was something that I did. This is Dan Patrick
Speaker 1: takes a gamble. One of my bookies died at the
Speaker 1: Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about
Speaker 1: his love of gambling. One bet, another bet, another bet.
Speaker 2: Without doing the actual gambling. You're a coward.
Speaker 1: It's easy to have a scapegoat and now joined by
Speaker 1: Bad Larry, Shayan Irving, and Dylan the graphics guy. I
Speaker 1: have friends.
Speaker 3: Here's Dan Patrick.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm the teacher. I'm like, come on class,
Speaker 1: let's go sit down. When Bad Larry's the first guy
Speaker 1: to show up, you know that that's not a good thing.
Speaker 4: Hi Larry, Hello Dan, Hey doing buddy good?
Speaker 1: You sound energetic.
Speaker 4: I wasn't going to answer the phone. It came in
Speaker 4: this potential spam as a DP show. Okay, you call
Speaker 4: me on a different line.
Speaker 1: No, Marvin's calling you on the same one. He always does.
Speaker 2: Came up different are said, definite spam on the other end.
Speaker 4: Larry, Yeah, don't call I heard. I heard Chase the
Speaker 4: dirt is gonna save him.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Wow, it saved me last year.
Speaker 4: I remember that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, welcome.
Speaker 4: This one's tough.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's only a couple of horses that can win eight, ten, eighteen.
Speaker 3: Just hammer them, hammer them in every six every way
Speaker 3: you can't.
Speaker 4: I won seven eight seventeen eighteen. But we'll get to that.
Speaker 3: Seven is not bad either.
Speaker 1: Okay, let me recap here. Bad Larry lost two units,
Speaker 1: so you're at eleven and a half. Okay, Shay, you
Speaker 1: lost seven units.
Speaker 3: Not fair?
Speaker 1: Your minus nineteen and a half.
Speaker 3: That's not fair. I've never been this bad.
Speaker 1: Dylan won seventeen units last Such a crock of shit. Okay,
Speaker 1: did you just you hit on one bet?
Speaker 5: I had one golf bet last week then, and it
Speaker 5: was Andrew Novak and Ben Griffin to win the Zurich Classic.
Speaker 2: It God damn it. They did twenty and then I
Speaker 2: lost every draft.
Speaker 1: So you're at minus three. Shay is minus nineteen and
Speaker 1: a half. Bad, Larry's up eleven and a half.
Speaker 2: What can happen in a couple of weeks then?
Speaker 1: But yeah, you've been good with your long shots.
Speaker 5: Yeah, sung Jay him top five of the Masters, that
Speaker 5: was plus fifteen hundred.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then the Kentucky Derby coming up this weekend. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you name your horse. If you had
Speaker 1: a horse in the Derby, what would it be cocaine coke.
Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't wait with a K. Sure they wouldn't
Speaker 1: let you do that. There is that one that's tis tistic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: which you've got to be careful when you're down the stretch.
Speaker 3: Call that out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just just titstastic at the wire, tantastic. Okay,
Speaker 1: Uh Dylan, how about you?
Speaker 2: Um so Shay is cocaine? Um meth? Yeah? I would
Speaker 2: actually what about just Dylan Dylan the horse that's so lame?
Speaker 3: What about Pedico? I would say pedico. It's a Spanish
Speaker 3: word for cocaine, or for parrot. It's parrot. It's Spanish
Speaker 3: word for parrot, and parrot makes talk a lot. So cocaine.
Speaker 3: If you're ever in you know, any country south of
Speaker 3: Texas and you're looking for some action, you say, oh,
Speaker 3: and you can get it quick. I would say pedico.
Speaker 1: How about Bob Dylan.
Speaker 2: Bob Dylan for the that's what I'm named after.
Speaker 3: Oh you are? Yeah? Are you serious? Fucking communist parents?
Speaker 1: Do you think somebody is going to be named Chalome
Speaker 1: one one day? Since he portrayed Bob.
Speaker 2: Dylan, timod or Timothy with two ease, that's.
Speaker 1: A tough spelling, and there's an excellent you.
Speaker 2: Yeah he's from he's from Manhattan.
Speaker 3: But yeah, but his parents were weird.
Speaker 1: I think it's dad's French. Somebody's French there, it's a stretch.
Speaker 5: What secretariat too, secretariat partner, that's mine?
Speaker 1: Yes, Ray.
Speaker 2: By the way, the Spanish word for parrot is not
Speaker 2: what you said, Laura.
Speaker 3: What's pettica? What is laura?
Speaker 1: Maybe not? What do you mean?
Speaker 3: Our Spanish listeners are going to be calling in Mario.
Speaker 1: Well, there's nobody to answer.
Speaker 2: Let's get Mario in here.
Speaker 1: Get Mario. Mario doesn't speak Spanish.
Speaker 5: He speaks he speaks like Bronx Puerto Rican, which is
Speaker 5: like more spanglishal language.
Speaker 3: It's creole.
Speaker 1: Okay. How do you punish your child if they did
Speaker 1: what Jeff Olbrich's son did.
Speaker 2: You came out swinging on that.
Speaker 1: Yeah he was hot. No, I'm like, hey, here's the deal.
Speaker 3: And first off, I don't believe his son stole the
Speaker 3: number off the iPad at all, No way, no chance.
Speaker 1: How do you think he got it?
Speaker 3: I think got it from his dad.
Speaker 1: Do you think you just said dad? Give me drinking
Speaker 1: with his dad?
Speaker 3: Frat bros In Town everybody's having a good time. Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: I give me the you got the number, one hundred percent,
Speaker 3: hundred percent he stole it off an iPad.
Speaker 2: I find that hard to believe.
Speaker 3: First off, First off, I'm a dad and I have
Speaker 3: an iPad, and my pass code is not known to
Speaker 3: my children at all, because if they get on my iPad,
Speaker 3: there's certain ship that they should not be.
Speaker 2: Saying, right, yeah, like their sander's phone number.
Speaker 3: Exactly, or you know my search history, whatever it is.
Speaker 3: My kids can't see that. So the fact that like
Speaker 3: he knows his dad's it's bullshit. It's absolute bullshit. He
Speaker 3: gave the kid his number. I don't think one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: I don't think that's why they find him so hard.
Speaker 3: Danny three hundred and fifty thousand dollars total. That's a
Speaker 3: shit ton of money.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a lot.
Speaker 3: Fake. Definitely want the draft picks go, and I understand that,
Speaker 3: but still three fifty a shit ton of money.
Speaker 1: I make my son split it, and then if you
Speaker 1: don't get back to uh, North Carolina, that's tough. You
Speaker 1: split the fifty one hundred thousand, you pony up fifty grand.
Speaker 1: I'll pay the other fifty so the.
Speaker 3: Kid doesn't have fifty grand obviously no shot. Yeah no,
Speaker 3: So what do you do?
Speaker 1: I get a job?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: What if?
Speaker 5: What if he came out of school, sends him down
Speaker 5: a dark path and then all of a sudden, you
Speaker 5: know he's turning tricks and all because.
Speaker 3: Of he's competing with lot lizards in the middle of
Speaker 3: Memphisis we're doing?
Speaker 1: We're not doing? Why are you trying to.
Speaker 2: Be like shit, I'm not I'm raising a valid point.
Speaker 1: No work work.
Speaker 2: Do you think he knew.
Speaker 5: That his dad was gonna get fined one hundred grand?
Speaker 5: I mean they are fucking stupid for putting it out videotape.
Speaker 1: That's what that's you.
Speaker 2: Should get in trouble for that, not the prank call itself.
Speaker 5: Also, I stand by that if Shadur had gone like
Speaker 5: in this later in the second round, this prank call
Speaker 5: thing would be a nonsto agreat fact that he slipped
Speaker 5: down so far it was like a retribute.
Speaker 3: But filming it is worth one hundred thousand film It
Speaker 3: is just playing stupid.
Speaker 1: We also brought this stuff on the show. If you
Speaker 1: had a full sized silver backed gorilla versus one hundred humans,
Speaker 1: how do you think the humans would fare.
Speaker 3: It depends on the humans. You gotta draft the correct humans.
Speaker 3: That's the key, Okay. I mean I think you could
Speaker 3: one hundred humans absolutely the murder a gorilla, but the
Speaker 3: first twenty are dead. They're dead. You have to draft
Speaker 3: the first twenty have to be I mean Homer Simpson
Speaker 3: fat fatter than that. And you just have a wave
Speaker 3: of twenty to twenty five four hundred pounds men to
Speaker 3: sit on a gorilla. And then you gotta have some killers, Danny,
Speaker 3: you gotta have some real killers.
Speaker 2: In the man him occupied.
Speaker 3: You gotta go for the eyes immediately one two men
Speaker 3: at the eyes and two men at the asshole, and
Speaker 3: you just gotta start poking. You gotta go in and
Speaker 3: a shark attack. You have to. You have to just
Speaker 3: penetrate both ends.
Speaker 5: But it is like remember the chimpanzee in Stanford that
Speaker 5: like ripped that lady's face off. Yeah, like that was
Speaker 5: a chimpanzee that is like a fraction of the size.
Speaker 5: So he's definitely, yeah, he's gonna mow through.
Speaker 3: But that's one zannies, mom, that ain't that ain't a hundred.
Speaker 2: Dudes, that's well, the monkey was on xen x too.
Speaker 3: Should have you remember, you know, we're talking about inflation, Danny, Hey, Larry, Okay,
Speaker 3: So I bought two sausage mcmuffins today in a diet
Speaker 3: coke and it was twenty one dollars in the state
Speaker 3: of Connecticut. Thanks. I remember when I was in Chicago,
Speaker 3: I could get two forty ounces in a four bar
Speaker 3: for ten bucks. Yeah, I mean that's the America. I
Speaker 3: want to go back to. What's a four bar xen
Speaker 3: X two point zero mili ground the ladder your ladder, Yeah,
Speaker 3: a lot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can step up all the way or all
Speaker 2: the way down.
Speaker 3: Either way you're floating. But ten dollars you could get,
Speaker 3: you could get, you know, elevated.
Speaker 2: Forty is probably ten bucks now, Yeah.
Speaker 3: I could get two forties in a four bar for
Speaker 3: ten bucks.
Speaker 2: Question, though, where was this at Chicago? Was this a
Speaker 2: rest stop?
Speaker 3: McDonald's?
Speaker 2: Was Are you pay the lux for juice there?
Speaker 4: Then?
Speaker 3: Why it's a truck stop? I should be getting shipped
Speaker 3: for cheat?
Speaker 2: The gas is more expensive there, the like even.
Speaker 3: The there was zero lot lizards in the entire she checked, Yeah,
Speaker 3: of course I checked it. The roommates out of town.
Speaker 1: Oh, is that she's in Berlin.
Speaker 3: She's in Berlin. Yeah, at a birthday party and I'm
Speaker 3: alone with the kids.
Speaker 1: Okay, how did you get How was that going?
Speaker 3: It was awful. It's going very badly. Why so the
Speaker 3: eldest child has uh for some reason. She's doing violin
Speaker 3: and chorus, just singing. And they started like seven thirty
Speaker 3: in the morning. So I have to wake up at
Speaker 3: like seven am and get her ready, and I well,
Speaker 3: my phone died, Danny, So I slept through the first alarm,
Speaker 3: and the mom that the roommates scheduled to pick up
Speaker 3: was banging on the door, I guess, and nobody picked.
Speaker 3: We're all sleeping, and so I woke up to the
Speaker 3: roommate freaking the fuck out, like, is everything okay? What's
Speaker 3: going on? Amy came to pick you up? Nobody answered
Speaker 3: the door. It was bad. It was really bad. So
Speaker 3: she thought it was burning the house down. So I'm
Speaker 3: not doing well, not doing well at all. I don't
Speaker 3: like it at all. It sucks.
Speaker 2: They make it to violin.
Speaker 3: No, yeah, no, I don't take a day off.
Speaker 1: Let's recap bad Larry.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: Let's see you're still on your mets. They went ten
Speaker 1: and five and your white Sox. Yeah, so White Sox
Speaker 1: were fourteen fourteen and two with the spread and the
Speaker 1: Mets were ten and five, so earned five units.
Speaker 4: Man, that's just seems like you guys robbing. I will
Speaker 4: send you a picture. There were at least three or
Speaker 4: four pushes on the over unders and the unders were
Speaker 4: way way more than that. It was first twenty five.
Speaker 1: Okay, why don't you check with Ray before we do
Speaker 1: this show? Why don't you just check in with him
Speaker 1: and say, where did.
Speaker 4: We seeven and a half?
Speaker 1: I'm fine, all right, Chay's durastic.
Speaker 3: Wait, Golden went before mckil no, yay?
Speaker 2: Did he went to the Panthers or not?
Speaker 1: The Panthersden went to the Packers.
Speaker 3: There were two twos.
Speaker 2: I think Golden went what twenty second one?
Speaker 3: We went to the Falcon first round? Yeah maybe I
Speaker 3: Michel went on the second round at some point. No, yes,
Speaker 3: Now michl.
Speaker 1: Get fucked to the Niners.
Speaker 5: Yet to the Niners and then Golden was like twenty
Speaker 5: two or twenty three Packers.
Speaker 1: So you got to some genty and that's it. Your
Speaker 1: golf was. Your golf was terrible as well. Dylan was awesome,
Speaker 1: terrible with the draft, really good with golf, So yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta get.
Speaker 2: Mister irrelevant was a cornerback thunk?
Speaker 1: I know, all right? That leads us to this week,
Speaker 1: bad Larry. I'll let you start.
Speaker 4: Okay, damn under the Knicks tonight at two fourteen. Okay,
Speaker 4: the Clippers getting six and a half. Yeah, then I'm
Speaker 4: gonna go my mats.
Speaker 1: See that's a weird that's that's a weird six and
Speaker 1: a half with the Clippers because the series has been
Speaker 1: really close.
Speaker 4: Hot, I think they're gonna lose the game and cover. Okay,
Speaker 4: all right, sang on the hill for the Mets, and
Speaker 4: I think the brew c whose sweeps the White Sox
Speaker 4: so Mets Brewers under the Knicks and the Clippers getting
Speaker 4: six and a half one unit each, and then I
Speaker 4: do have a fourteen for exact A box or the derby.
Speaker 4: You want to do that now?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Sure, I don't know how we're going to score it,
Speaker 4: ray well, one unit and multiply what it pays out.
Speaker 4: I guess the exactly is going to pay a little
Speaker 4: bit of a hiss. But seven eight seventeen eighteen exact
Speaker 4: A box for one.
Speaker 1: Unit, okay?
Speaker 3: Is it?
Speaker 4: That's it? Yeah? I'm not doing any win bets. I
Speaker 4: haven't even haven't thought of that it yet. We're going
Speaker 4: to the track tomorrow actually and put our bets ino, Okay, mama,
Speaker 4: park anyone your you got it all?
Speaker 1: Welcome Damn they're not welcome at a dog track in.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we'll be there. We'll be there from one thirty
Speaker 4: till ten tomorrow, gambling and drinking. Shay, get a baby's sit.
Speaker 1: No, no, bring out, bring up, come bring I could
Speaker 1: bring the kids. Bring your kids to the track down.
Speaker 3: That would be a good day. Yeah, because of work.
Speaker 3: Who gives a ship?
Speaker 2: This is work.
Speaker 1: Know what you say to your wife is oh I
Speaker 1: had a chance to take them and show them some horses.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they love horses.
Speaker 1: Ponies, Yeah, ponies, math, class, probability, it's good odds right there, manasium. Yeah, Shay,
Speaker 1: you ready to go?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just looking at my I think Ray messed
Speaker 3: up with my picks again. All right? Umm, Danny, we
Speaker 3: got golf my favorite sport, most efficient one for me,
Speaker 3: sung JM. Top twenty plus one twenty.
Speaker 2: On the train, Mackenzie used.
Speaker 3: Top twenty lane one twenty five and then I got
Speaker 3: to get the hometown hero speak top ten plus two thirty.
Speaker 3: By the way, Barr Nelson is in my hometown. It
Speaker 3: is in Irving. Just so we're clear, I've been to it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's great. Part of Irving was very nice. I was
Speaker 3: from the other the other side of correct Cottonwood value
Speaker 3: would not let me through the gates. Baseball Angels plus
Speaker 3: one ten exciting little story on the Angels, so fun.
Speaker 3: Fun team to watch right now if you're if you're bored.
Speaker 3: Mike Trout's hurt, it doesn't matter. Their pitching staff has
Speaker 3: been a lot better than anybody predicted.
Speaker 1: Uh, it couldn't have been worse. They drafted all pitchers
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago.
Speaker 3: Well, no, correct, they got some actual veterans that are
Speaker 3: pitching better there than they have in the past. Red
Speaker 3: Sox Lane won ten. I got Hooke on the bump
Speaker 3: against the Communists Guardians Lane one and a half or
Speaker 3: late one oh five, I said, Guardians, you're welcome. Against
Speaker 3: the Twinkies and then the Derby Danny. I think the
Speaker 3: eight ten and eighteen. I just think you should build
Speaker 3: all of your executives and trifectors around those.
Speaker 1: And what's the name of those horses? I got it
Speaker 1: right here.
Speaker 2: Journal Journalism's eight Journalism's favorite.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, journalism is a favorite, which everybody knows is
Speaker 3: fake news. Sovereignty is eighteen, and then the ten is
Speaker 3: the Dirk Dirka. Sovereignty is eighteen grande. Then I got
Speaker 3: the ten win play show, and I got the two
Speaker 3: to win as well, or the eighteen to win as well.
Speaker 1: My friend has a piece of Sandman. Oh really, yes,
Speaker 1: I think six to one?
Speaker 3: No ship, yeah.
Speaker 2: He got.
Speaker 1: I don't know. He didn't tell me.
Speaker 2: Is it Adam Sandler?
Speaker 1: Nope, it's not Sandman.
Speaker 3: That's a good fucking ugh.
Speaker 1: And it's not Lars ol Rich interesting from Metallica.
Speaker 3: Got it, got all right?
Speaker 1: I just throw it out, Uh, Dylan, your turn, all.
Speaker 5: Right, Dan, I'll start with the Derby. Our our favorite horse,
Speaker 5: tit tastick to win nineteen to one, tis tiz tastic.
Speaker 5: I'm going two units on Rodriguez.
Speaker 2: It was the four horse to win at nine to one.
Speaker 2: Bob jockey, not the jockey, the horse got it.
Speaker 5: Bob Baffort's a trainer. And then owen almighty my long
Speaker 5: shot to win at forty three.
Speaker 2: To one, because why not?
Speaker 1: Okay, and then hit that yeah yeah.
Speaker 5: And then I got a trifecta box seven eight fourteen
Speaker 5: and an exact box four eight seventeen eighteen. Okay, NBA Dan, tonight,
Speaker 5: I got the Pistons minus one and a half against
Speaker 5: the Cannicks NHL Caps to win the Stanley Cup plus
Speaker 5: eight point fifty. They just steamrolled the Habs last night,
Speaker 5: and it would be kind of fitting for a Vechkin
Speaker 5: to break Gretzky's record and then going to win the
Speaker 5: Cup in the same year.
Speaker 2: They look good though, mm hmm.
Speaker 1: You're going against the Hurricanes.
Speaker 2: Who are the favorites, and then the Byron Nelson and
Speaker 2: Shay's hometown sung Jay him to win plus twenty two hundred,
Speaker 2: same number as last week at the Zurich twenty two
Speaker 2: to one. Book it. I can't lose, Okay.
Speaker 1: I think I think that's it. Have we done everything
Speaker 1: that we're contractually obligated to do here?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay, Dylan got any parting words? By the way, Shane
Speaker 1: Irving podcast, are you able to do your podcast with
Speaker 1: your wife out of time?
Speaker 3: I think we're going to do it tonight after the
Speaker 3: Meltona kicks in for the kids. I think Dylan might
Speaker 3: be coming over to actually participate in the show.
Speaker 2: Yeh, Chaney's a new wife for the weeks.
Speaker 3: Hold my pocket, they come, hold my pocket? Okay that
Speaker 3: Dylan drinks. Correct my kids, it's not.
Speaker 1: I'll take Are you going to sleep over?
Speaker 3: There's a guest room.
Speaker 2: I don't care if you wake your kids up. You
Speaker 2: have to wake me. I got a job.
Speaker 1: Yes, he has to be in here tomorrow for a
Speaker 1: meat Friday Friday.
Speaker 3: What's cooking?
Speaker 1: PAULI has the menu. He won the Masters tournament that
Speaker 1: we had. He gets to pick. It's the champions menu.
Speaker 2: It's embargoed until tomorrow.
Speaker 1: And Dylan is the Yeah, I forgot appetizer, first course, main.
Speaker 2: Course, dessert.
Speaker 1: Invited. If you want to come again, yeah, I will.
Speaker 3: I will come back because.
Speaker 2: I'm slowly for me, yea slowly poison shaw. Every day
Speaker 2: he shows a.
Speaker 1: Twelve oh five Eastern Eastern.
Speaker 3: Yeah you all be here?
Speaker 1: Yeah, twelve oh five, all right, bat Larry. Anything that
Speaker 1: we need to know other than you'll be at Monmouth
Speaker 1: Park tomorrow?
Speaker 4: No, No, what is Dylan dealing with this? Lottery picks?
Speaker 4: He's doing a lot of scratch off every day or something.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, so I'm doing a scratch off every day
Speaker 5: on the Instagram story until I hit the jackpot.
Speaker 1: Did you guys, did you guys go to Vegas and
Speaker 1: get that winning ticket?
Speaker 3: No, we do that.
Speaker 5: We actually have a this was actually raised genius idea.
Speaker 5: So we're potentially we're going to be out in the
Speaker 5: California Nevada area and Tahoe, Yes, in July. So from
Speaker 5: there and then we have break the following huh, so
Speaker 5: we might just skip on over from Reno to Vegas.
Speaker 3: Easy, Yeah, easy in July. It's going to be cheap.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be cheap. It's gonna be hot as fun ship.
Speaker 3: You have to go to the titty pool at the
Speaker 3: wind Yeah, they got the europool titties out. Oh yeah.
Speaker 3: I lost so much money rolling dice there because there
Speaker 3: was tities everywhere. I wouldn't leave. I just kept losing.
Speaker 3: It didn't matter.
Speaker 2: It's almost like they figured something out.
Speaker 3: They did. There was an algorithm there.
Speaker 5: They see this guy's like he's gonna be fucking tip
Speaker 5: here all day.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it kind of actually works out perfectly.
Speaker 1: Are you able to gamble while looking out at standing?
Speaker 3: There is a literal craps table in the water, like
Speaker 3: sit there and black jack, and there are titties everywhere.
Speaker 2: Like a wet bar.
Speaker 3: But yeah, they got me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hook line and it's been.
Speaker 1: Made for me. Bad Larry. Anything you'd like to add.
Speaker 4: Not to that story?
Speaker 2: No, I'm good, Larry.
Speaker 5: You want to come to Vegas when Larry get the
Speaker 5: squad together reunion?
Speaker 4: Larry, I'm going I might be going to Vegas. And
Speaker 4: when August July July were you anything planned? She said,
Speaker 4: maybe July nineteenth when we have like five things going on. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm supposed to be in Nashville. Never mind. Thanks, I'm
Speaker 4: out for Vegas.
Speaker 2: Well, we'll figure maybe it might still work, Larry, We'll
Speaker 2: figure it out.
Speaker 1: That'll do it for this week. It's Dan Patrick takes
Speaker 1: a gamble for all of our participants, Dylan and Shay,
Speaker 1: Bad Larry, Picture Day, Ray, Marvin, and yours truly. Thanks
Speaker 1: for joining us. We'll talk to you next week.