1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,560
Speaker 1: Steve, you will read the letter, and I respond and

2
00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:05,200
Speaker 1: I will get this thing going. All right, Here we go.

3
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:10,840
Speaker 1: Are the subject today, it's with holding sex as punishment.

4
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:19,119
Speaker 1: Oh lord, oh Lord, let us begin. Dear Stephen Shirley,

5
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,720
Speaker 1: I need your advice concerning an issue that is going

6
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:29,160
Speaker 1: on in my marriage. I since silly and wholeheartedly loved

7
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:36,000
Speaker 1: my wife and have never even considered having an extramarital affail.

8
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:42,320
Speaker 1: But after the smallest misunderstanding with my wife, she deprives

9
00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:47,880
Speaker 1: me of sex for three months. Even if I apologize

10
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,240
Speaker 1: over and over, she's not willing to ease up on

11
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:55,160
Speaker 1: my punishment. It might interest you to know that I'm

12
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:58,440
Speaker 1: not always at fault in the arguments, but I'm always

13
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,920
Speaker 1: the one trying to make up with her because I

14
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:05,080
Speaker 1: hate the way she punishes me. The mold she punishes

15
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,319
Speaker 1: me and makes me go that long without sex, the

16
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:12,959
Speaker 1: bigger the strain it puts on our marriage. Always hope

17
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:16,959
Speaker 1: that we can restore the peace and eliminate any grudges,

18
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:21,800
Speaker 1: but she remains moody and angry for weeks. When we

19
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,520
Speaker 1: are in good terms and everything is going fine, she

20
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:30,640
Speaker 1: still controls if and when we have sex. If she

21
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,960
Speaker 1: doesn't want to do it. She will use the excuse

22
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,640
Speaker 1: that she's too tired. What can I get? What can

23
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,600
Speaker 1: I do to get her to see that this is

24
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,520
Speaker 1: not the way to deal with disagreement. I don't want

25
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:45,240
Speaker 1: to leave my wife and I'm not a cheatah, So

26
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:53,080
Speaker 1: how can I make this work? Please help? Lord? Lord Lord.

27
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:59,800
Speaker 1: That's not in the letter. That's just because he stressed.

28
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:05,120
Speaker 1: But well, here's my The question is what did you

29
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:09,360
Speaker 1: do and what do you keep doing to make her mad?

30
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,239
Speaker 1: But you know you left that information out of the letter,

31
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,880
Speaker 1: so we just got to go on what you put

32
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,919
Speaker 1: in the letter. So I was thinking about it. My

33
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,880
Speaker 1: suggestion to you is maybe you can make a list

34
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,000
Speaker 1: and just talk to your wife and find out all

35
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,560
Speaker 1: the things that is what's bothering her. Maybe you can

36
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,040
Speaker 1: go to her and say, Baye, what's bothering you? Is

37
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,160
Speaker 1: that the stuff that I do is that the stuff

38
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,600
Speaker 1: that you're dealing with on the job, is that the kids?

39
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:38,480
Speaker 1: Is that the is it housework? Then maybe then maybe

40
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:41,040
Speaker 1: there's some things on this list that you can do

41
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,640
Speaker 1: to help her relax, Like maybe you can cook one night,

42
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,040
Speaker 1: or maybe you can pick up the kids from school

43
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,800
Speaker 1: or daycare. Or something like that. But this list, maybe

44
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:54,359
Speaker 1: I'll help you avoid the problems because the question is

45
00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:58,000
Speaker 1: what are you doing that is so bad that she's like,

46
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:01,840
Speaker 1: don't touch me for three months? Like what's going on there?

47
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,000
Speaker 1: So maybe you can check this list daily because you're

48
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,880
Speaker 1: going to have to change your ways. And I know

49
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,280
Speaker 1: it's not fair, that's not fair. She's the one with

50
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,600
Speaker 1: the issues, but that's who you married. So you don't

51
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,600
Speaker 1: want to cheat, you don't want to end your marriage,

52
00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:18,720
Speaker 1: so you gotta compromise, you know what they say, happy wife,

53
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:22,359
Speaker 1: happy life, or you gotta get counseling or get you know,

54
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,359
Speaker 1: a third person party to come in to talk to

55
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,400
Speaker 1: you guys about your situation. Or it could be she

56
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:30,040
Speaker 1: just doesn't like you anymore. That could she does not

57
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,120
Speaker 1: feeling you like that anymore. That could be it. But

58
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,960
Speaker 1: Steve that it was good. Oh thank you, thank you,

59
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,800
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. Yeah, that's real good. But that

60
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:48,080
Speaker 1: hit a problem. Okay. The problem is the subject withholding

61
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:53,360
Speaker 1: sex as a punishment. Now, Carl is right, what do

62
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,760
Speaker 1: you keep doing to make this woman is mad? But

63
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,480
Speaker 1: let me ask you another question, though, y'all, what could

64
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,320
Speaker 1: he be doing to make out this day a man.

65
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:04,640
Speaker 1: The man ain't cheating, the man come home. He ain't

66
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:11,360
Speaker 1: misusing her, abusing her. He's not an abusive man. What

67
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:18,680
Speaker 1: what cost you? Three months or sex? Right? What somebody

68
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:26,320
Speaker 1: would tell me, we would because right after you tell

69
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,800
Speaker 1: me that, guess what, I'm not gonna say this to you.

70
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,520
Speaker 1: But the thought that I'm gonna be having is you

71
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:41,920
Speaker 1: not fitting the hell sex? For that's it. She let

72
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:45,839
Speaker 1: me play something and he produces. Miss you keep putting

73
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:49,040
Speaker 1: this man on. Hes gonna keep going on the damn punishments. Man,

74
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:52,240
Speaker 1: he is issuing a water. He's letting you know. He

75
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,760
Speaker 1: can't keep dealing with this because at three months, he

76
00:04:55,920 --> 00:05:00,880
Speaker 1: says in the letter, it puts a strain on the marriage. Now,

77
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,120
Speaker 1: let's talk about this punishment and fault. Carlin was right,

78
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,479
Speaker 1: you gotta be doing something wrong. But blah blah blah blah.

79
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,480
Speaker 1: But whatever he's doing wrong, let me ask you this.

80
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:13,200
Speaker 1: The man said in the level, even if I apologized

81
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:17,200
Speaker 1: over and over, she's not willing to end up ease

82
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:20,560
Speaker 1: up on the punishment, the punishment for whatever he do.

83
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,480
Speaker 1: You ain't take the garbage out. Three months, no six,

84
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,200
Speaker 1: he hears up on time. Three months, no sex, you're

85
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,279
Speaker 1: damn that. Now I'm not fitting to make a list

86
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:34,560
Speaker 1: to make yo ass happy, so I can get off

87
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,479
Speaker 1: to three months. And then when he apologizes, she don't

88
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,120
Speaker 1: ease upon the punishment. And it might interest you to

89
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,360
Speaker 1: know that I'm not always at fault in the arguments,

90
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,560
Speaker 1: So you can't argue with this healthful without costing your

91
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:53,120
Speaker 1: ass three months on shutdown. Now, let me ask you this.

92
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,880
Speaker 1: Let me just say this to y'all. If they get

93
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:12,320
Speaker 1: into arguments a year, two damn arguments, dismay is out

94
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,600
Speaker 1: of six months or six Oh, it's fitting to do

95
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:19,600
Speaker 1: this here. I'm I'm really proud and grateful to this

96
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,520
Speaker 1: man then wrote a letter. But ladies, are you kidding me?

97
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,320
Speaker 1: That's not that woman came, be a woman sitt and

98
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,880
Speaker 1: be going to the man. Ain't cheating on the hole

99
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,960
Speaker 1: on that. Y'all got to have a better resolution in

100
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:34,080
Speaker 1: your marriage of how to resolve conflict and resolution. It

101
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:40,120
Speaker 1: cannot be three months punishment for sex. First of all,

102
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:48,520
Speaker 1: let me help you understand your sex. M mhm, what

103
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:55,480
Speaker 1: Steve ain't all that good? That's where it's been to

104
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,760
Speaker 1: cost me three months of my damn life twice a

105
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,719
Speaker 1: year half a year or no sex. Your sex ain't

106
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,320
Speaker 1: that good? I have to I'm gonna have to tell

107
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,360
Speaker 1: you that I'm gonna share this with you. It might

108
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,560
Speaker 1: be good and the best I've ever had. I may

109
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,800
Speaker 1: love it like I love a son come up in

110
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,720
Speaker 1: the morning, But once you once you shut me off

111
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:19,680
Speaker 1: for six months. Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how

112
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:24,280
Speaker 1: I can't go find out if maybe somebody else somewhere

113
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:33,760
Speaker 1: got some sex that's equivalent to it, even better, would

114
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:37,560
Speaker 1: be better than another. Take some bad sex before I

115
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:42,119
Speaker 1: take no sein. Hello with the rest of this letter,

116
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,440
Speaker 1: come on part two of this letter, Shirley's out today.

117
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:52,200
Speaker 1: What's the subject, Steve? The subject is with holding sex

118
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:58,400
Speaker 1: as punishment? As punishment quickly, So this lady, every this

119
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,880
Speaker 1: man who wrote this letter in because he concerned every

120
00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,400
Speaker 1: time him and his wife have an argument or he

121
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:07,600
Speaker 1: can blamed for something, punishment is no sex for three months.

122
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:12,000
Speaker 1: Even if he apologizes, she does not lessen the sentence.

123
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:16,360
Speaker 1: It remains at three months. And it would introduce us

124
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:21,200
Speaker 1: all interest us all to know that when they aregur

125
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:26,200
Speaker 1: he's not always at fault. So the man gonna apologize,

126
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,080
Speaker 1: just try to get back in good graces now, he deprives,

127
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,560
Speaker 1: she deprives me of sex for three months. I bought

128
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:34,120
Speaker 1: up the numbers game because I'm a numbers guy. Yeah,

129
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:41,160
Speaker 1: if you get in two arguments, ay, you're down. Six

130
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:56,480
Speaker 1: months is finished, putting my life under durest for six

131
00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:00,600
Speaker 1: damn months. Because we don't know how to resolve on flict.

132
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,400
Speaker 1: We have. Our resolution is three months punishment for whatever

133
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,439
Speaker 1: he do. He don't take our tray, damn it three months?

134
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,760
Speaker 1: H you was late picking me up down that going

135
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:18,719
Speaker 1: it three months? Well, this don't make no damn sense. No,

136
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,560
Speaker 1: it doesn't. It's a horrible way to do a man.

137
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,360
Speaker 1: But now let me tell you something. You got a

138
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,199
Speaker 1: good man because he even wrote the letter, and a

139
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,480
Speaker 1: manfit to do this here with you. Now, the man

140
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,960
Speaker 1: says he's never cheated or never even considered having an

141
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:38,560
Speaker 1: extra marital affair, but the smallest see what right after this? See,

142
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,640
Speaker 1: I want you to understand something about the word but

143
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,319
Speaker 1: that my daddy and mama taught me. When you say but,

144
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,600
Speaker 1: it negates everything you said prior to that. So now

145
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,240
Speaker 1: let's just go over to this sense it again. M Hm.

146
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:55,559
Speaker 1: I love my wife and have never even considered having

147
00:09:55,640 --> 00:10:02,079
Speaker 1: an extra marital affair. But after the smallest misunderstanding with

148
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,360
Speaker 1: my wife, she deprives me of sex for three months.

149
00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:09,080
Speaker 1: See button wiped out the considering the never considering an

150
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:12,280
Speaker 1: extra marital affair, because if this continues, he gonna have

151
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,920
Speaker 1: to be going to go out there. Mm hmmm. So okay,

152
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:19,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna punishment for three months. For three months, I'm

153
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:23,280
Speaker 1: gonna go see somebody. Come on, because I will tell

154
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,520
Speaker 1: you right now. If you come up to me for

155
00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:29,520
Speaker 1: whatever the reason you say, look, listen to me. Listen

156
00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:31,800
Speaker 1: to me. I am sick of you. For the next

157
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:36,800
Speaker 1: three months, We're not having sex. As soon as you

158
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:40,800
Speaker 1: make that statement to me, I immediately go into well

159
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:49,440
Speaker 1: let's see now, no, no, okay, okay, color. I want

160
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,839
Speaker 1: you to repeatedly say for three months, we're not having

161
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,360
Speaker 1: sex and then wait on my response, go so, for

162
00:10:56,480 --> 00:11:00,960
Speaker 1: three months we're not having sex? You got it well already?

163
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:06,559
Speaker 1: Then alrighty, then what We're not having sex for three months?

164
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:09,680
Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying. Oh, I heard what you say.

165
00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:14,720
Speaker 1: Listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth.

166
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:19,160
Speaker 1: We're me and you are not having sex for three months.

167
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:24,160
Speaker 1: Deal with it. Well, I guess we won't then, right,

168
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:28,559
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. We won't have sex for three months.

169
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:33,000
Speaker 1: Do you understand, understand perfectly that we you and I

170
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:39,560
Speaker 1: were not got it? Why do you keep repeating that, Okay, good,

171
00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:42,079
Speaker 1: you got it. We're not having sex for three months.

172
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:47,280
Speaker 1: Get your mind right wrapped round it? Are not having

173
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:53,080
Speaker 1: sex for ninety days? We're not you and I? Okay, good?

174
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,000
Speaker 1: So look at your Look at you got your phone.

175
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,959
Speaker 1: Look at the calendar. It's April May, June. See you

176
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,640
Speaker 1: in July. Three months, we're not having sex. I'm gonna

177
00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:14,600
Speaker 1: play golf Friday weekend. Long time. I'm going to play

178
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:25,000
Speaker 1: golf Friday, man Essence maybe around Essence Fest. We'll be back.

179
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,480
Speaker 1: But if you make me mad again, three months, we're

180
00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:32,520
Speaker 1: not having sex. So July, baby, that's a long time

181
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:36,440
Speaker 1: for us not to be heaven. What's stop making me mad?

182
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,360
Speaker 1: I told you I was sorry. I told you I

183
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,120
Speaker 1: was sorry, but you keep doing the same stuff over

184
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,199
Speaker 1: and over, so you're not really sorry. So three months

185
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,640
Speaker 1: it's just a dis punishment. You keep putting me on

186
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:56,520
Speaker 1: more for you. I can show you better than I

187
00:12:56,559 --> 00:13:01,520
Speaker 1: can tell you. Three months. Go ahead, Yeah you got it?

188
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,839
Speaker 1: Yeah you notice how I keep coming in here. I

189
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:07,400
Speaker 1: say nothing to you about it. Yeah you know I

190
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,280
Speaker 1: ain't bought it up no more because you understand what

191
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:14,760
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Show dude, that's week you and I are

192
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:20,280
Speaker 1: not having sex for ninety days. Got it. I'm glad

193
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:26,000
Speaker 1: we got clarity on that. I've been clear. I've been clear.

194
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,640
Speaker 1: What are you trying to say something now? I'm trying

195
00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:33,800
Speaker 1: to say nothing. Okay. Yeah, you're kind of getting a

196
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:38,400
Speaker 1: little sarcastic with it. This a sarcastic. This's just okay

197
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:42,400
Speaker 1: with it. Okay. See, I gotta deal with it. I

198
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:47,480
Speaker 1: know it's a three month punishment for us, so I

199
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,280
Speaker 1: don't bring it up to us never no more. I

200
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,440
Speaker 1: just wait on the three months? How you been? How

201
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:58,360
Speaker 1: would your day job? I didn't fell out of character?

202
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:08,760
Speaker 1: Hey man, you see right there, I'm trying to you.

203
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,480
Speaker 1: You can't keep doing a man like that. Everybody been

204
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:17,320
Speaker 1: to dinner with you for you crazy crazy. On two days,

205
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:21,160
Speaker 1: we got this man that came in the house asked,

206
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:27,560
Speaker 1: how yo day go? I'm fun? Okay, Steve, that was good.

207
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:32,280
Speaker 1: I have fun. You can email or instagram us your

208
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:36,840
Speaker 1: thoughts on today job. They're quiet. He talked to you.

209
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,480
Speaker 1: You gotta go get us up at lips by Carla.

210
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,720
Speaker 1: You can comment on today's Strawberry Letter. You're listening to

211
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,480
Speaker 1: The Steve Harvey Morning Show.