WEBVTT - CZM Book Club: Kushtaka, by Mathilda Zeller 0:00:01.720 --> 0:00:15.040 Cool Zone Media book Club, book Club, book Club, boo Club. 0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:20.000 I've never gotten to do this booooky thing before. That's 0:00:20.040 --> 0:00:23.119 not true. I've probably done it every October, but I 0:00:23.120 --> 0:00:28.880 don't remember it, because why would I remember doing something cringey? Although, 0:00:29.760 --> 0:00:34.400 as they say, only the cringe are free, that shouldn't 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:37.320 be our tagline here at Kolzon Media book Club, but 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:39.880 it kind of could be, except actually I would say 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:42.080 that this week's story isn't cringeing at all. It's just good. 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:45.440 I'm the one who's cringey. I'm your host, Margaret Kiljoy. 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:47.760 This is the only book club where you don't have 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:50.120 to do the reading because I do it for you. 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:52.479 There might be other book clubs where you don't have 0:00:52.520 --> 0:00:54.400 to do the reading because someone else does it for you, 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:58.880 but it's not this one. Also, sometimes I resent my 0:00:59.040 --> 0:01:03.200 own choice in using that tagline, because while having a 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:06.679 story read to you is different than reading, it's like, 0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:09.640 not so fundamentally different than reading. I listen to a 0:01:09.640 --> 0:01:12.160 lot of audiobooks, and I tell people I read those 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:15.560 books because, you know what, every single word of them 0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:19.759 went into my brain. And what is reading besides having 0:01:19.800 --> 0:01:23.920 words go into your brain? Anyway? We're going to do 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:27.440 some horror stories this month and this is one of them. 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:42.319 oOoOO okay one more time. Woo. That's how you're supposed 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:46.560 to do spooky Okay. First up this week, we have 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:51.520 a story called Kushduka and it's by Matilda Zeller and 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:54.920 it first appeared in the twenty twenty three collection Never 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:59.440 Whistle at Night in Indigenous dark fiction anthology. It is 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:04.720 a creature and a slasher centering around a figure, the Kushduka, 0:02:04.920 --> 0:02:06.960 which is common in the folklore of people native to 0:02:07.000 --> 0:02:10.680 so called Alaska. And as for what the creature is, 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:12.760 I will let Matilda explain that to you in a 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:16.920 second in the story. And it is a spooky story, 0:02:16.960 --> 0:02:19.040 and heads up that not everyone's going to make it out. 0:02:19.080 --> 0:02:21.160 You could probably guess that there's a little bit of gore, 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:26.639 mostly off camera. I'll probably be doing more content warnings 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:30.640 than usual for Spooky Month, because I don't know whatever. 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:35.000 People of different ages and different desires of listening to 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:37.919 things listen to things. I'm squeamish and this one was 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:41.880 all right for me. As you listen, you should keep 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:44.280 an ear out for what Matilda is doing with perspective. 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:52.040 And now Kushduka by Matilda Zeller. You don't have to 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:55.800 love him, just make his baby, Mama said, hanging the 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:59.680 fleshy swath of salmon to dry. It might have colored eyes, 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:02.799 you know, maybe blue eyes. He'll pay you to keep 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:08.000 quiet about it. Mama had always been Machavelian, but this 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:11.560 was next level. Not even the old ladies who gossiped 0:03:11.560 --> 0:03:13.600 about her would have guessed she'd tried to pull something 0:03:13.680 --> 0:03:17.440 like this. I shuddered and slid my knife up the 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:20.960 side of another salmon, severing a long filet of red 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:25.600 flesh and silver scales. The cold, wet flesh reminded me 0:03:25.760 --> 0:03:30.359 of Hank Ferryman's lips, which he constantly licked while talking 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:34.480 to us village girls. His hands were wide and stubby, 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:38.640 his cheeks were poked and ruddy, and his breath smelled 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:41.040 like a caribou carcass that had been left out in 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:45.880 the sun for a week. He's rich, Mama reminded me, unnecessarily, 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:48.440 and I'm sure he wouldn't be wanting his wife back 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:51.280 in Kansas, knowing he's got a kid up here. The 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:55.440 money could really help, you know, He's probably got kids 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:58.520 all over the Kobuk valley, I muttered, and I don't 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:03.080 want to make anyone's baby, except maybe Paana's. But even then, 0:04:03.200 --> 0:04:06.480 that's not happening until after I finished college, which costs 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:09.440 money that we don't have, which is why this conversation 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:13.320 is happening in the first place. I brought down my 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:16.480 knife too quickly through the filet and caught the side 0:04:16.520 --> 0:04:20.279 of my thumb. Blood blossomed along the cut, and I 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:23.240 brought it reflexively to my mouth, the taste of my 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:29.000 blood mingling with the fishes. Mama sucked her teeth. Stupid girl, 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:31.800 go inside and clean that up. You're getting blood everywhere. 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.120 The cut stung, but it was a way out of 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:38.880 this conversation and away from Mama. I jogged back to 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:42.160 the house, pressing my jacket sleeve around the cut, which 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:45.279 extended from the tip of my thumb down the side 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:48.240 of my palm. Not wanting to take the pressure off it, 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:52.120 I kicked the door with my toe. It was Pana, 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:56.359 not my Auna, who opened it. My heart fluttered a little, 0:04:56.560 --> 0:04:59.839 despite having known him my whole life. What do you 0:04:59.839 --> 0:05:04.200 do here? He grinned that perfect grin, complete with deep 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:08.080 set dimples and one eye tooth missing, having tea with 0:05:08.120 --> 0:05:12.120 your Ana. Why not that I minded, But he was 0:05:12.120 --> 0:05:14.880 supposed to be on shift in the mines. There was 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:18.479 an accident down at the mines. Frankie an o'clock, and 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:21.159 a couple of the white guys too, you know the 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:25.760 ones visiting from Kansas. Which white guys. Maybe one was 0:05:25.800 --> 0:05:29.880 Hank Ferryman. Maybe Mama would leave me alone. Then Jim 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:32.960 and Bob. They all survived, but they're in really rough shape. 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:37.320 Had to be flown to Fairbanks. Oh my heart sank 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:41.240 a little. How did they get hurt? Pana's face darkened? 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:45.760 Maybe you should come inside. Anna waited on the overstuffed 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:49.080 chintz sofa, her dark eyes smiling at me from their 0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:53.760 nests of deep wrinkles. She was aged but ageless. I 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:56.800 swear she hasn't changed since I was four years old. 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:01.080 It was Sedna, Anna said, by way of greeting, she's 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:03.960 the mistress of the underworld and they're mining into her domain. 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:07.760 Hana shook his head. The foreman said it was a 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:12.640 bear or maybe some wolves. A bear and maybe some wolves. 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:15.919 Honor repeated cackling. He didn't even see what happened. He 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:19.200 is throwing guesses into the dark. I sat down next 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:26.080 to Pawna Sedna's mythology. Anna, Sedna is angry, Anna interrupted, 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:29.559 they're coming uninvited and taking what's ours. They don't belong 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:32.640 here in our land, in our beds. She clutched her 0:06:32.720 --> 0:06:36.359 draw tight, swallowing hard. But Sedna is gracious enough to 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:39.719 give warning. She only tore their guts out. A wolf, 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:42.039 for bear would have stayed to eat the guts. They 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:44.320 wouldn't be alive in the hospital right now if it 0:06:44.320 --> 0:06:48.520 weren't for her grace. I turned to Pona my own innards, tightening. 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:53.520 Their guts were torn out. Panna nodded, torn up across 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:57.160 the abdomen, torn up everywhere. In fact, I raised a 0:06:57.160 --> 0:07:01.359 skeptical highbrow. And they're saying it was wolf wolves. Hanna 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:05.839 shifted defensively. If they weren't sane, it was wolves, you 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:09.479 know who, they'd be accusing us, all of us. I 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:13.160 nodded my head. What did you do to your hand, 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:16.080 Anna said, reaching for me with one hand and smacking 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:19.440 Paana's knee with the other. Panna, why didn't you see 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:23.320 she's hurt? Go get the bandages. Pauna jumped up to 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:26.160 get them. He didn't need to ask where he knew 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:29.120 my house as well as I did. As soon as 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:31.400 he was out of the room, Anna leaned towards me. 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:36.240 He wants to marry you, you know, I sighed, I know. 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:40.120 Paanna had been saved last year by a visiting preacher 0:07:40.120 --> 0:07:42.640 and was now determined to marry me before I moved in. 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:46.760 Common law marriage was what basically everyone else did, but 0:07:46.800 --> 0:07:49.920 not Pauna. No, he wanted to go to a little 0:07:49.960 --> 0:07:53.760 white chapel and promise God he'd love me first. Your 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:58.760 grandfather married me first, Anna reminded me, smiling. I know, 0:07:58.920 --> 0:08:02.400 I repeated. I'd heard the story a million times, how 0:08:02.400 --> 0:08:05.440 he'd waited and saved until he could take Grandma and Eddie, 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:08.880 her baby from a visiting school teacher all the way 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:12.680 out to Fairbanks for a marriage and adoption. He'd wanted 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:15.040 to do it properly, he said. She thought it was 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:17.320 stupid at the time, but it had grown to be 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:20.360 a major point of pride with her. I wasn't sure 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:22.680 I saw the point. It was a lot of money, 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:25.560 but Pana cared about doing it that way, and I 0:08:25.640 --> 0:08:29.320 cared about him. Pana returned with the first aid kits 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:32.320 and pulled my hand into his lap. Gingerly unwrapping it 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:36.600 from the jacket sleeve. I'm taking Hank Ferryman's boy hunting 0:08:36.640 --> 0:08:40.079 this weekend, he said, pouring some iodine onto a bit 0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:43.839 of gauze. Hank says he wants him toughened up out 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:47.720 there on the tundra. I rolled my eyes. Panna and 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:50.240 his crew would do no such thing, not if they 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:53.640 wanted repeat business. They would take the kid out there, 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:56.320 make him feel like a big tough hunter while doing 0:08:56.320 --> 0:09:00.200 all the actual work of packing things, unpacking things, and 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:03.560 hauling things, and he would have stories to take back 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:06.839 to his buddies in Kansas. It was about the kid's 0:09:06.880 --> 0:09:10.760 ego and the dad's too. I'm sure he'll shoot the 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:14.880 biggest caribou known to man, I said, with razor sharp teeth. 0:09:15.800 --> 0:09:18.720 Pana grinned. By the time he gets back to Kansas 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:21.280 will have turned into a polar bear that he killed 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:24.120 with his own bare hands, added Anna, her face splitting 0:09:24.120 --> 0:09:27.600 into a wide grin, revealing teeth worn down by years 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:33.040 of leather. Working like this, her hands made violent strangling motions. 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:36.439 Pana and I melted into a fit of giggles, as 0:09:36.440 --> 0:09:40.200 if we were both ten instead of nearly twenty. Panna 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:44.320 finished my hand and I stood reluctantly here with him, 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:48.680 with my ana. This was my heart's home. Outside that 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:51.920 door lay wolves and bears and Hank Ferrymen and Mama. 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:57.160 When I returned to Mama, she was smiling. You have 0:09:57.200 --> 0:10:02.160 a job this weekend, a job with Hank Ferryman. He's 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:04.559 having a party at his lodge. He needs hired help, 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:10.000 you know, cooking, cleaning. A curdling feeling gathered around my ears. 0:10:10.360 --> 0:10:12.800 Why don't you go work for him? It was a 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:15.880 stupid question that we both knew the answer to. Mamma 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:22.199 rolled her eyes. I already told him you'd go, You're going. No, No. 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:25.960 Mamma's hand tightened on the knife she was holding. I 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:28.160 did my best not to look down at it. My 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:30.800 heart trilled like it was trying to beat for three people. 0:10:32.040 --> 0:10:35.920 I don't want to. To my surprise, Mamma's grip loosened 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:39.080 on the knife and she shrugged. Maybe I'll send esther. 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:43.800 Then my mouth went dry. Esther was my fifteen year 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:49.800 old sister, my sweet compliant sister. Mamma wouldn't She couldn't 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:53.040 as I stared at her, though I knew she would. 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:57.079 I'll go. I picked up my ulu and rocked it 0:10:57.120 --> 0:11:00.880 across the salmon, chopping its head. That's what I thought, 0:11:00.920 --> 0:11:06.680 Mama replied. Some days I hate her. But do you 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:09.280 know what we don't hate. You're a cool Zone Media 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:14.680 book club. We don't hate all of our advertisers. That's right, 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:19.320 not all of them. In fact, you can play a 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:22.600 game called listen to these ads and decide which ones 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:27.280 you hate, or you could skip them. I don't actually care. 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:46.480 And we're back the land of the midnight Sun, bellowed 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:50.439 Hank Ferryman, punching my shoulder playfully, more like the land 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:54.640 of six PM bedtime. Was he always this loud? Or 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:57.800 was the closeness of the truck amplifying his voice? He 0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:02.920 chortled at his own joke. Topisa, Hey Tappy, I cringed 0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:06.640 at the improvised nickname. Tell me a native story, I 0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:10.559 shook my head. That's a bad idea. The sun had 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:12.920 set an hour ago, and we were bumping over the 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:15.880 half frozen ground in the dark, with nothing but the 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:19.800 truck's headlights standing between us and the darkness. Snow had 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:23.360 begun to fall, thick and fast. Alone with someone like 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:27.040 him in the darkness like this, seemed the worst possible 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:29.200 place to bring up the stories that could catch the 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:34.559 attention of a spirit. It's a swell idea, Hank Ferryman 0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:38.200 doesn't make bad ideas. Don't forget I hired you for 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:42.240 the evening. The last sentence felt like lead between us. 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.320 He had hired me to cook and clean for his party, 0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:48.840 not tell him stories. I wasn't hired to do whatever 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:53.240 he felt like doing. My hands curled into fists. Still, 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:58.600 maybe you would shut him up. Fine, fine, I racked 0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:01.520 my brain, But in the dark darkness I could think 0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:05.280 of nothing bright and benign. There once was a girl 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.560 named Sedna. Her father threw her over the edge of 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:11.880 his fishing boat. She tried to save herself by catching 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:14.040 onto the ledge of the boat, but he brought a 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:16.800 knife down onto her fingers and cut them all off. 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:22.640 They became the first seals, walruses whales. She became the 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:27.319 goddess of the underworld. Hank waved his hand impatiently. I 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:30.000 already know about Sedna. I got your buddy Pana to 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:34.080 tell me about her. Tell me something new. I pulled 0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:38.720 my coat tighter around me. There are kushduka. They appear 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.480 to us taking on the appearances of those we love. 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:45.120 They try to get us to go with them, to 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:48.280 go with them where I pulled my coat even tighter, 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:53.000 suddenly feeling cold. I don't know. Hank was quiet for 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:56.080 a blessed minute. Then he let out a guttural snort 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:59.320 that blossomed into full blown laughter. Oh you call that 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:02.679 a ghost, missy. Your ghost stories are as bad as 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:06.920 your watermelons up here. We don't have watermelons up here, 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:10.120 Damn straight, you don't. I can tell you some ghost 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:13.000 stories from Kansas that put hair on your chest. In fact, 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:17.720 my head slammed into a dashboard as Hank floored the brake, 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:21.680 sending us into a fishtail. When the car finally stopped, 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:24.600 he sat, his chest heaving as he stared out at 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:28.560 the road ahead of us. A figure stood before us 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:32.800 in the headlights, cloaked in heavy furs, black hair tumbled 0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:36.640 down in wild rivulets to her elbows. She pushed back 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:40.840 the rough of her parka. She was me, or would 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:43.040 have been, were it not for the pupils that covered 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:46.720 the whole of her eyes and the hideous, obscenely wide 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:51.080 grin that distorted the lower half of her face. Hank 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:53.880 let out a small scream as he floored the gas 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:58.440 ramming straight into her. A thunder roll of sickening thuds 0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:01.720 juttered through me. She tumbled up and over the hood 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:04.840 of the truck. I looked behind us, but saw nothing 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:07.480 in the tail lights. As Hank continued to pick up speed, 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:12.000 his breathing ragged and shallow. He muttered to himself thickly 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:14.320 for a moment, before looking over at me with a 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:18.640 little nervous laugh. Some deer you got out here? Huh? 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:24.440 I stared. That wasn't a deer. Don't be stupid, Hank coughed. 0:15:24.760 --> 0:15:27.760 I saw my own two eyes. You saw it with yours. 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:30.480 It was a deer playing as the nose on your face. 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:34.480 A gentle tapping noise sounded on the glass behind me. 0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:39.320 I shuddered, unable to turn around. I think there's something 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.640 in the bed of the truck. Hank's hands tightened on 0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:48.880 the steering wheel. No, there isn't. Do you hear that. 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:51.200 I felt those eyes on the back of my head. 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:56.240 Those eyes all see black pupil, wide and hungry. All 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:58.480 I hear is you try to amp me up. Wasn't 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:00.440 enough to tell me your ghost stories? You want to 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:08.320 spook me now. His body stiffened at the noise. Stop 0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:12.240 it to Pisa, it's not funny at all. It's not me. 0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:15.960 Surely he could see both my hands silent in my lap. 0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:21.520 He huffed impatiently, but didn't say anything else. The tapping stopped, 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:25.720 He relaxed. He laughed a little. You really had me 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:30.040 going for a minute there. I didn't reply. There was 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:33.120 no point. By the time we reached his lodge in 0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:37.080 oversized monstrosity on the edge of the lake, he was 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:40.040 back to cracking bad jokes and resting his hand on 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:43.360 my knee, removing it when I batted him off, only 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:47.120 to drop it there again a second later. You'll love 0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:49.720 this place. I can't believe I've been taking you out 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:53.080 here yet. I had everything flown in from anchorage. It's 0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:56.720 all custom, top of the line. He was grinning like 0:16:56.760 --> 0:17:00.280 a kid. I hated his familiarity, as if I were 0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:02.760 a friend who hadn't gotten around a visiting instead of 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:05.439 a village girl whose mother he'd leveraged to drag me 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:08.879 out here. He slipped out his side of the truck, 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:12.280 swinging back his keys and whistling. I sat on the 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:21.159 passenger side, my dread growing in the stillness. I turned 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:24.719 this time and saw her. She was me, this cushduka 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:28.560 with inky black eyes and black hair, billowing and wild. 0:17:29.280 --> 0:17:32.119 When her eyes met her face split again into that 0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:36.000 freakishly wide grin that nearly reached her ears and revealed 0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:43.119 pointed molars, meat eating molars, flesh ripping molars. Hank's voice 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:46.359 registered from somewhere in front of the truck. Aren't you 0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:50.760 coming to Pisa? I opened my mouth and closed it again, 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:54.440 unable to bring myself to make a sound. The kushduka 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:56.919 tapped the back window of the truck once more with 0:17:57.000 --> 0:18:02.280 a long black fingernail and disappeared. I tore my eyes 0:18:02.280 --> 0:18:04.480 from the back window to see him trundling over to 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.879 the door. You're one of those fussy, old fashioned girls, 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:10.560 aren't you. You want a big strong man to open 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:13.440 the door for you. Is that it? He chuckled to 0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:17.280 himself and opened my door. I climbed out, scared to 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:19.960 take my eyes off the truck bed, as if doing 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:23.680 so would make the kushduka materialize again and leap on us, 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:28.880 ripping at us with those pointed teeth. The lodge was massive, 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:33.159 with vaulted ceilings and mounted animal heads everywhere. Above the 0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:36.840 fireplace hung two spears crossed over each other, like they 0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:41.400 were European swords or something. But they weren't European. They 0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:44.919 were into it. I recognized the carvings on them, the 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:51.720 worn leather bindings that secured the pointed stone ends. Those spears. Artifacts. 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:57.200 They're incredible, aren't they genuine? Ancient artifacts? You know they're 0:18:57.200 --> 0:19:02.159 my grandfathers. Hank Ferryman smile stayed frozen on his face. 0:19:02.720 --> 0:19:06.959 After a pregnant pause, he laughed, you're mistaken. There are 0:19:07.000 --> 0:19:11.400 so many spears out there like these. I recognize the carving. 0:19:12.880 --> 0:19:15.959 They're nothing indigenous motifs that have been carved a thousand 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:20.600 times over the back of My neck felt tight beyond cringing. 0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:25.760 If they're not his, Where did you get them? Hank shrugged, 0:19:25.760 --> 0:19:29.480 as if I'd asked a stupid question. My secretary found 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:34.400 them for me, found them, stole them, more likely from 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:39.240 my widow to Anna found them, bought them. It doesn't matter. 0:19:39.440 --> 0:19:42.600 You're here to work. There's the kitchen, He pointed to 0:19:42.640 --> 0:19:45.720 a corner of the lodge sectioned off by granite countertops. 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:49.920 My secretary was here earlier. They've dropped off recipes and 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:54.159 groceries for tonight's dinner. I stalked over the kitchen and 0:19:54.200 --> 0:19:56.480 grabbed the ulu that was sitting on the wood holder 0:19:56.560 --> 0:20:00.280 on the counter. Hank bounded over and snatched out from 0:20:00.320 --> 0:20:06.240 my hands. That's an artifact, it's for decoration. I looked 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:09.240 down at the ullu in his hands. It was newly sharpened. 0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:13.040 The balan handle was worn, polished to a bright shine 0:20:13.080 --> 0:20:16.080 from all the times it had been gripped. I wonder 0:20:16.080 --> 0:20:20.840 who's anna he stole this from. It's a tool for cutting. 0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:26.159 Hank rolled his eyes. You are basically white. Your dad's 0:20:26.240 --> 0:20:29.320 dad was white, your mother is white. You should be 0:20:29.359 --> 0:20:33.000 able to understand that modern knives are better. He pointed 0:20:33.000 --> 0:20:36.399 to the block of knives on the counter, carbon steel, 0:20:36.760 --> 0:20:40.720 flown in from Japan, top of the line. Try them, honey, 0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:44.920 I promise you'll never go back to an ulu. If 0:20:44.920 --> 0:20:47.560 he saw I was shaking with rage, he didn't show it. 0:20:48.160 --> 0:20:50.280 I strode to the knife block and drew out the 0:20:50.400 --> 0:20:53.919 largest one, grabbing a cutting board and a bag of potatoes. 0:20:53.960 --> 0:20:56.000 Before I could give in to my urge to run 0:20:56.080 --> 0:21:01.480 him through with it. See now, isn't that fabulous? Hank 0:21:01.520 --> 0:21:03.680 Ferryman pumped a fist, as if he had just taught 0:21:03.680 --> 0:21:06.440 me to fish and I'd caught one. He didn't wait 0:21:06.480 --> 0:21:09.679 for a reply before continuing, I'll go to take a piss. 0:21:10.000 --> 0:21:12.240 Make sure the champagne is in the fridge, will you. 0:21:12.640 --> 0:21:16.600 No one likes it warm. And you know here at 0:21:16.600 --> 0:21:19.679 cool Zone Media, we serve all of our products and 0:21:19.840 --> 0:21:36.480 services freshly chilled, just how everyone likes them. And we're back. 0:21:41.600 --> 0:21:44.760 I made dinner. Other men showed up and ate, made 0:21:44.800 --> 0:21:48.679 passes at me, laughed and talked to Hank. I passed 0:21:48.720 --> 0:21:51.800 the hours in a deep, fuzzy rage, forcing myself with 0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:55.000 the motions of arranging canopies on a plate, pulling a 0:21:55.080 --> 0:21:58.240 roast from the oven, slicing it up on a serving tray. 0:21:58.880 --> 0:22:02.040 I couldn't bring myself to fake smile at them. There 0:22:02.119 --> 0:22:04.919 was something outside the house that was clearly murderous and 0:22:04.960 --> 0:22:07.960 looked just like me. There was something inside of me 0:22:08.400 --> 0:22:13.040 that was clearly murderous and felt nothing like me. Someone 0:22:13.119 --> 0:22:16.320 popped the cork off the champagne bottle and I jumped, 0:22:16.680 --> 0:22:20.760 letting out a small scream. The room exploded with laughter, 0:22:20.840 --> 0:22:24.040 and Hank grinned at me, pushing a champagne glass over 0:22:24.080 --> 0:22:27.840 the counter. Towards me. You clearly need to loosen up. 0:22:28.680 --> 0:22:31.119 I pushed it back towards him and left for the bathroom. 0:22:31.720 --> 0:22:34.680 I needed to be somewhere, anywhere, away from these people. 0:22:35.240 --> 0:22:38.280 I locked the bathroom door and pulled myself onto the counter, 0:22:38.880 --> 0:22:42.760 leaning my head back against the mirror. It was colder here, 0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:45.600 a welcome relief from the heat in the main area. 0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:49.720 I breathed deep, sizing up my options, wondering if I 0:22:49.720 --> 0:22:51.880 could get the police to look into how Hank got 0:22:51.880 --> 0:22:55.320 my grandfather's spears, if they would actually care at all. 0:22:56.000 --> 0:23:01.280 Probably not. Heavy dragging sound slid across the hall outside 0:23:01.280 --> 0:23:05.520 the bathroom, I looked down, watching a shadow pass along 0:23:05.560 --> 0:23:08.560 the crack under the door. The air filled with a 0:23:08.600 --> 0:23:12.960 thick smell of old fish. The shadow paused. I pressed 0:23:13.000 --> 0:23:17.040 my lips together, hardly daring to breathe. After an eternity, 0:23:17.080 --> 0:23:20.360 the shadow continued on past the bathroom door and down 0:23:20.440 --> 0:23:23.600 the hall. I slipped off the counter and stood in 0:23:23.640 --> 0:23:27.240 front of the door. The murmur of laughter and conversation 0:23:27.359 --> 0:23:33.080 went silent. Hank Ferryman's voice broke the silence to pisa, 0:23:34.280 --> 0:23:38.120 I told you to leave the artifacts alone. His voice 0:23:38.119 --> 0:23:42.800 should have sounded plaintive, but it didn't. It trembled. A 0:23:42.880 --> 0:23:46.520 scream tore through the air, followed by a trampoline of feet, 0:23:46.960 --> 0:23:51.240 breaking of glasses, more screams. I sat on the counter, 0:23:51.400 --> 0:23:54.800 my mouth growing dry. Someone was running up the hall 0:23:54.840 --> 0:23:58.800 towards me. The handle to the bathroom door rattled, followed 0:23:58.800 --> 0:24:02.359 by pounding that made the door vibrate. Let me in. 0:24:05.119 --> 0:24:07.600 The heavy crack of a skull on the floor proceeded 0:24:07.640 --> 0:24:11.800 a wet, tearing sound. Something dark seeped under the bathroom door, 0:24:11.880 --> 0:24:14.320 and it wasn't until the smell hit me that I 0:24:14.359 --> 0:24:20.080 fully registered what it was. Blood. Primal growls turned into 0:24:20.119 --> 0:24:24.760 satisfied chewing and smacking noises. I pressed my back against 0:24:24.760 --> 0:24:28.960 the bathroom mirror, drawing my knees to my chest. My 0:24:29.040 --> 0:24:32.560 heart thudded in my ears, and my breathing sounded too loud. 0:24:33.440 --> 0:24:38.680 It that Kushduka would hear me, It that creature would 0:24:38.760 --> 0:24:41.960 find me. My blood would join with the blood on 0:24:42.000 --> 0:24:46.400 the floor. After what felt like an eternity, a rustling 0:24:46.440 --> 0:24:49.200 of furs and patting of feet told me it was leaving. 0:24:50.040 --> 0:24:52.879 I heard the front door banging open, the sound of 0:24:52.920 --> 0:24:58.199 feet on gravel walking away. I couldn't stay here. It 0:24:58.200 --> 0:25:01.800 could come back, it would back. I needed to get 0:25:01.800 --> 0:25:05.000 home to my auna and her shotgun. Would a shotgun 0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:08.920 work against a kushtuca? Surely it would. If it weren't 0:25:08.920 --> 0:25:11.560 flesh and blood itself, it wouldn't be able to do 0:25:11.960 --> 0:25:15.400 whatever it just did. I dropped to the floor as 0:25:15.440 --> 0:25:18.080 silently as I could, holding my breath while I turned 0:25:18.119 --> 0:25:22.199 the doorknob. I had seen a lot of blood in 0:25:22.240 --> 0:25:26.359 my life. I had gutted fish and caribou, slaughtered ducks, 0:25:26.359 --> 0:25:30.960 and sliced up eels. But that was orderly, deliberate, purposeful. 0:25:32.000 --> 0:25:37.000 This this was not that. Bloody footprints covered the floor, 0:25:37.640 --> 0:25:42.720 blood spatters and smears graced the walls. There weren't men here. 0:25:43.320 --> 0:25:47.119 There were pieces of men and trails of men. I 0:25:47.160 --> 0:25:50.240 took a step forward and my foot grazed something wet. 0:25:50.520 --> 0:25:54.000 I looked down. It was an eye, blood shot across 0:25:54.000 --> 0:25:58.960 the silera. It rolled, revealing a blue iris as blue 0:25:59.000 --> 0:26:02.800 as hanks. I fell into a squat, hugging my knees, 0:26:02.840 --> 0:26:05.840 pressing my toes down to stop myself from falling into 0:26:05.880 --> 0:26:08.720 the mess. I didn't want to touch the ground. I 0:26:08.760 --> 0:26:12.040