Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, Welcome to Cheeky's and Chill Happy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Speaker 1: Whenever you are listening to this podcast, to this episode,
Speaker 1: I hope you're having a good day. This week for
Speaker 1: me has been a little crazy, to be honest, but good.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like the you know, you're winding down
Speaker 1: the years ending. A lot of stuff is happening, but
Speaker 1: I'm happy nonetheless, and I hope you are too. So
Speaker 1: this episode is going to be a personal one. It's
Speaker 1: the Mike and I. We're going to be talking about
Speaker 1: something a lot of people have been asking about because
Speaker 1: they saw it on Cheeky sinfieldro my docu follow when
Speaker 1: we went to go visit my mom in Mexico.
Speaker 2: Well sounds weird? Was in my mom in Mexico? Well
Speaker 2: were my.
Speaker 1: Mom passed, where my mom's plane crashed. So that's what
Speaker 1: we're going to be talking about today because a lot
Speaker 1: of people asked how that came about, and they just
Speaker 1: wanted a little bit more details.
Speaker 2: So we went earlier this year. It's going to be
Speaker 2: what twelve.
Speaker 1: Years since my mom's passing, and in December it'll be
Speaker 1: twelve years and we waited this long because a lot
Speaker 1: of us weren't ready. It's five of us, five children,
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to go without them, and Johnny
Speaker 1: wasn't ready and I wasn't ready for a long time.
Speaker 1: So anyways, it happened when it was supposed to happen.
Speaker 1: It happened in Monterrey, Mexico. That's where the plane, you know, crashed.
Speaker 1: It's still so weird for me to talk about it,
Speaker 1: to like talk, I just I don't know. It's weird
Speaker 1: when people ask me, you know, how you know, how
Speaker 1: old is your mom? Like, oh, my mom was forty
Speaker 1: four years old, and then they asked, okay, how did
Speaker 1: she pass? And I say, yeah, It's just so weird
Speaker 1: to me still, it's just I can't believe it. So anyways,
Speaker 1: we wanted to go out there. I feel like for me,
Speaker 1: it was part of my healing journey before getting married.
Speaker 1: I wanted to kind of get some closure in a way, because.
Speaker 2: I never really got it.
Speaker 1: My mom and I weren't on speaking terms. So when
Speaker 1: that happened, so many things came crumbling down in my life.
Speaker 1: So I think I worked so hard and was so
Speaker 1: focused on work, work, work, work, work to kind of
Speaker 1: just not deal with the pain for so long that
Speaker 1: it came to a point where I'm like, I can't
Speaker 1: ignore this. This is part of my life, this is
Speaker 1: part of my truth. And I told my siblings. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm ready to go. Who wants to come
Speaker 1: with me? You know, because we always heard it was
Speaker 1: a hike and the whole thing. And I talked to Emilio,
Speaker 1: my husband, about it, and now my husband because he
Speaker 1: wasn't my husband then when we went, and he said yeah,
Speaker 1: that he was down to go, and so we all went.
Speaker 1: And it's called it is where it is, and it
Speaker 1: again it's a monterrey, so it was a mountain, it's
Speaker 1: someone's property. It's a farmer has like a huge land,
Speaker 1: has huge land. And so now we met him, we
Speaker 1: met his family, his his his wife.
Speaker 2: We met also his son.
Speaker 1: His son was and his cousin were one of uh
Speaker 1: our guides to get up there. They told this in
Speaker 1: the beginning, Oh, it's going to be like a four
Speaker 1: hour hike. We're like, oh damn, okay. I was like,
Speaker 1: my mom's worth it. Let's do it, you know, let's go.
Speaker 1: But it didn't take us that long. It took us
Speaker 1: like they were very surprised, you know. So it took
Speaker 1: us like, I don't know, maybe like a little bit
Speaker 1: less than two hours.
Speaker 2: It was very hot.
Speaker 1: I felt fine for the most part because my siblings
Speaker 1: were with me, and I've been doing a lot of
Speaker 1: healing and a lot of like soul searching and therapy,
Speaker 1: and also having Emilio there helped a lot. So I
Speaker 1: I didn't go there expecting anything. I was just like,
Speaker 1: I just want to go and see what I feel.
Speaker 1: So that's exactly like what I did.
Speaker 3: On the way up there.
Speaker 1: My siblings and I were just listening to music, to
Speaker 1: songs that she liked and her songs, and we were
Speaker 1: all pretty happy for the most part, I think because
Speaker 1: we were together when we were doing it together, and yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought Johnny would have broken down a little more,
Speaker 1: but the one that broke down more was my brother Mikey.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just didn't expect it, and I
Speaker 1: think it really helped him a lot. So anyways, going
Speaker 1: up there, walking up there, it was very nice, a
Speaker 1: very very beautiful mountain, and I always felt like where
Speaker 1: that happened, that incident and that catastrophe, I always thought
Speaker 1: it was going to be like dark and cold and ugly,
Speaker 1: and I I didn't know that's what I imagined. So
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that I was able to go and
Speaker 1: walking up there in silence and you know, talking you know,
Speaker 1: to my siblings here and there was really cool. And
Speaker 1: that we were able to document the you know, the
Speaker 1: the that day was awesome because then I can show
Speaker 1: my kids or maybe, I don't know, maybe one day
Speaker 1: take my kids. We even thought about taking my nieces
Speaker 1: and nephews one day, but it was so pretty, it
Speaker 1: was so green and so peaceful. When we actually got
Speaker 1: to where it happened, I can't the breeze was so nice.
Speaker 1: It's crazy how much peace I felt. I even thought
Speaker 1: in a moment, I'm like, why am I not crying?
Speaker 1: Why am I not sad? Like I'm like something wrong
Speaker 1: with me? But then when I thought about it, like
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, nothing's wrong with me. I'm I'm I'm good.
Speaker 1: Even though things happened the way that happened with my
Speaker 1: mom and I and we weren't able to speak, like,
Speaker 1: I feel like I have a very beautiful connection with her,
Speaker 1: and I got the closure that I needed because when
Speaker 1: we were just sitting there listening to her music, and
Speaker 1: my brother was we were all kind of doing our
Speaker 1: own thing. Jenica did cry. She's very very reserved. She went,
Speaker 1: you know, off to on her own to do her thing.
Speaker 1: Mikey too, and I just I stood there and I
Speaker 1: was like kind of closed my eyes and I prayed.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I supposed to get out of
Speaker 1: this moment? Like what am I looking for? Because I
Speaker 1: didn't even really know. I just knew it was something
Speaker 1: I needed to do and I wanted to do with
Speaker 1: my siblings. So I just all I could hear was
Speaker 1: it's okay.
Speaker 3: To let go.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, and I'm like, what, Like it's weird,
Speaker 1: it's I don't know if it was. I obviously didn't
Speaker 1: hear someone say it. It was something that I felt
Speaker 1: in my soul and I but I heard it clearly,
Speaker 1: like it's okay to let go, And I'm like, what
Speaker 1: do you mean? Like, I just know that I felt
Speaker 1: so much peace, and I felt like my mom is good.
Speaker 1: My mom is so good and at peace wherever she
Speaker 1: may be. Because I do feel that there's life after
Speaker 1: this life, whether it's in heaven or I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I feel she's so busy, so consumed in her
Speaker 1: new life, doing her thing, she's happy, and she's still
Speaker 1: watching over us.
Speaker 2: But I feel her. And this might sound weird, but
Speaker 2: I feel her far yet close. It's so weird.
Speaker 1: What I got out of that whole experience and what
Speaker 1: I have felt after that is just it's okay to
Speaker 1: let my siblings go, to let them grow, to not
Speaker 1: hold on so tight, to get married, because that's kind
Speaker 1: of like what I wanted in a way. I hadn't
Speaker 1: said any thing to anyone about it, but it was like,
Speaker 1: it's okay to let go of me, your mother, and
Speaker 1: step into your new life, which is because I was
Speaker 1: very scared of getting remarried and I never thought I
Speaker 1: was going to do it again. I wanted to, but
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know if it's ever going
Speaker 1: to happen for me, and I just felt like her
Speaker 1: blessing in that moment. I again, I don't know how
Speaker 1: to explain it. I can't even going back to that
Speaker 1: moment and closing my eyes is just such a unique
Speaker 1: experience that I can't even tell you everything that I felt.
Speaker 1: I can't even like explain it in words. I just
Speaker 1: know that I got this like beautiful feeling, like of
Speaker 1: and now ever since I did that, I used to
Speaker 1: cry so much on stage for my mom so much,
Speaker 1: and I did I did that before I started this
Speaker 1: new tour, the A'm on this tour that was like
Speaker 1: I think this happened like in April, if I'm not
Speaker 1: mistaken when we went out there, and I don't cry
Speaker 1: for her the way I used to on stage or
Speaker 1: when I would sing her songs, like I think of her,
Speaker 1: but it's not a sadness anymore. It's not like this grieving.
Speaker 1: It's it's peace. It's like it's so weird.
Speaker 2: I don't even.
Speaker 1: I don't know, and it's gonna sound crazy, I think,
Speaker 1: you know, because I know a lot of people love
Speaker 1: my mom.
Speaker 3: But I feel like.
Speaker 1: Like I got the answers that I needed, Like not
Speaker 1: like I don't love her, because I love her very much,
Speaker 1: and there's times when I miss her so much, but
Speaker 1: I don't cry the way I used to.
Speaker 2: I feel like we're good.
Speaker 1: She was my mom, she was meant to be my
Speaker 1: mom in this in this lifetime to teach me certain things,
Speaker 1: so I can teach her certain things. And she's moved
Speaker 1: on and she's doing something else, and I'm okay to
Speaker 1: start doing me my life, live my life the way
Speaker 1: I want to live it in every aspect and my
Speaker 1: personal life and my career with my siblings. And even
Speaker 1: since then, like I've in a way kind of let
Speaker 1: go of my siblings as well, like I'm like, okay.
Speaker 2: They're grown.
Speaker 1: I love them very much, but I have to let
Speaker 1: them live and learn and be here for them. But
Speaker 1: now it's me and my husband. It's my husband and
Speaker 1: I and I didn't feel that. I always felt like
Speaker 1: my what I'm supposed to be doing in this world
Speaker 1: is always honoring my mom and her legacy and what
Speaker 1: she left for me and my siblings. And I just
Speaker 1: felt like this need and this desire and this fire
Speaker 1: within me to just do anything and everything for them,
Speaker 1: and that's what my purpose was in life. And when
Speaker 1: I did that and I went to go see her,
Speaker 1: and I got this like let go, that's all I heard,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh shit, Like I have my own
Speaker 1: life to live, like I have a different purpose. I
Speaker 1: don't necessarily need to just do that or be that.
Speaker 1: I can build and it's okay, and I and I
Speaker 1: let go. And it's crazy because I think like I
Speaker 1: had this this idea of, you know, there were times
Speaker 1: where I was angry at her, I guess, you know,
Speaker 1: because of everything that happened, and I had this idea of, like, shit,
Speaker 1: that's what she left me. But now I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: that's just a little part. You know. Yes that happened,
Speaker 1: Yes we weren't on talking terms, but that doesn't determine
Speaker 1: all of our relationship, you know, And.
Speaker 2: And that's it. I'm going to leave that in my
Speaker 2: past and I'm good.
Speaker 1: And then after that, after we went to see my
Speaker 1: mom and I got like her blessing of like letting go.
Speaker 2: And my idea of what I got out of that.
Speaker 1: Then I went to visit my dad and I got
Speaker 1: his blessing, and I feel like, without even knowing or
Speaker 1: planning it, everything just fell into place. And I was
Speaker 1: ready to get married, like to step into this new
Speaker 1: era of my life. And I'm glad we did it.
Speaker 1: And it was very healing, and I think my brother
Speaker 1: Mikey's doing a lot better. My sister Jackie had that
Speaker 1: was her second time going, Jenica's first. I feel like
Speaker 1: ever since we went there, we got a lot of
Speaker 1: clarity and a lot of direction, and I don't know
Speaker 1: it just it did something for us and it was
Speaker 1: just I guess that that missing piece of the puzzle
Speaker 1: to like just in a way move on. As messed
Speaker 1: up as that might sound to certain people, but it
Speaker 1: was just this beautiful gift that like we got, or
Speaker 1: at least I did, And I think we all felt
Speaker 1: different things, but we had that in common of like, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's our mom, we love her, but she's happy. Also
Speaker 1: moved on is what I felt like, She's she's happy, she's.
Speaker 2: Good wherever she is.
Speaker 1: There was so much peace, guys, Like I can't even explain,
Speaker 1: Like just thinking of what I felt in that moment
Speaker 1: makes me want to cry because I was like, shit,
Speaker 1: she's good. And I think that's what I needed to
Speaker 1: feel to just say, Okay, cool, she's good. I need
Speaker 1: to be okay and not thinking I need to be
Speaker 1: okay for my siblings or for anyone else, but I
Speaker 1: need to be okay for me, for Jane, for my life,
Speaker 1: to have kids, to like just live a different life.
Speaker 1: And I just I don't know a lot of people
Speaker 1: ask me like what did you feel? Like what did
Speaker 1: you guys think? And that's why I wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about it on an episode of Cheeky's and Chill because
Speaker 1: this is my space to open up and express things
Speaker 1: to you. So I thank you guys for allowing me
Speaker 1: to do that. And I don't know, I just I
Speaker 1: highly recommend guys, like, if you feel it in your
Speaker 1: heart and there's things that you haven't gotten closure if
Speaker 1: you can, if you feel it in your heart, do
Speaker 1: it get closure in one way or another. Because of
Speaker 1: course I'd love to speak to my mother and see
Speaker 1: her and like hear the words that I imagine, like for
Speaker 1: her to in a way even apologize to me, because
Speaker 1: a lot of things went down in a messed up way,
Speaker 1: but I feel in her way she did apologize to me,
Speaker 1: is what I felt. And again I can't explain it.
Speaker 1: It's just something that happened, spiritual, I don't know, but
Speaker 1: it really has helped me just.
Speaker 3: Move on with my life.
Speaker 1: It was really nice to see a place that I
Speaker 1: for so long that was just this ugly dark place,
Speaker 1: place that tormented my life, not only mine, my famili's
Speaker 1: people that loved my mother. I just saw that place
Speaker 1: as something just so dark and just I don't know,
Speaker 1: and especially because I saw pictures and footage that people
Speaker 1: that were there, like police officers and you know, authorities
Speaker 1: and stuff that weren't necessarily supposed to do that, but
Speaker 1: they they shared and I'm assuming sould the footage. And
Speaker 1: I just never thought I would want to go there
Speaker 1: because I saw some pretty graphic pictures remains of not
Speaker 1: only my mom, but like people that were on the
Speaker 1: plane with her and her dress. And I actually there
Speaker 1: was this this picture that I'll never forget of my
Speaker 1: mom's dress, her Mariacci dress that she was wearing the
Speaker 1: night of that her last concert in Monterrey. There it
Speaker 1: was just like hanging on a tree, and that tree
Speaker 1: is still there, and that tree, I guess with the
Speaker 1: plane like with one of the wings cut off like
Speaker 1: the top of it. So my mom's dress, I guess
Speaker 1: flew on top of the on top of the tree
Speaker 1: and it was like this humongous tree before now it
Speaker 1: is now it's what it was before. But They're like,
Speaker 1: that's the tree where the dress was. And I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, it's crazy because I didn't ask. No
Speaker 1: one asked the guide. He's like, oh, that's the tree
Speaker 1: where the dress was. A pink dress, and I'm like
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I'll never forget that picture, that image,
Speaker 1: because I just I was thinking in that moment, guys,
Speaker 1: I was like, well, maybe someone placed it there. Maybe
Speaker 1: I wanted to think my mom hadn't died. I wanted
Speaker 1: to think that someone had taken her and they just
Speaker 1: placed it there to make it seem like I thought
Speaker 1: so many things. I was like, no, she's still alive.
Speaker 1: She's hiding somewhere. And I remember thinking when everything happened
Speaker 1: that Sunday, because she passed away on a Sunday, or
Speaker 1: they passed away on a side day. I don't want
Speaker 1: to just talk about my mom, but like, you know,
Speaker 1: there's other people there with her. You know, that happened
Speaker 1: on a Sunday. And I was still I still had
Speaker 1: hope Monday Tuesday until Wednesday when some idiot posted or
Speaker 1: they decided they thought it was a great idea to
Speaker 1: post images and and it was a picture of my
Speaker 1: mom's toes and I knew, I freaking knew. I said,
Speaker 1: this is I massage those feet. I know that's my mom,
Speaker 1: and that's what I knew. I was like, shit, she's
Speaker 1: not coming home. I just and that's when I had
Speaker 1: to break the news to my siblings, and.
Speaker 2: It was tough.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm just I'm so against people posting or
Speaker 1: sharing images like that, like when they try to share
Speaker 1: images of like Kobe, you know, and and Vanessa suit
Speaker 1: of the shit out of them, good job and she
Speaker 1: won as she should, like it's not cool, you know,
Speaker 1: or when you know, Nipsey got shot and killed and
Speaker 1: someone posted actually unfollowed this girl, which is like what
Speaker 1: started this beef with her? She talks I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: mention him her name because it's not even worth it.
Speaker 1: But she's this girl that's like a blogger or she
Speaker 1: just talks shit about people, a lot about me. And
Speaker 1: it all happened because I unfollowed her because I told her,
Speaker 1: I said, hey, it's not cool that you're posting this
Speaker 1: video of him being shot and he's on the Like
Speaker 1: I was very upset about it. I was like, he
Speaker 1: has kids, he has his wife, Like I'm sure she's
Speaker 1: watched it. She doesn't want the whole world to watch
Speaker 1: her man Lauren like like you know, on the floor,
Speaker 1: like fighting for his life and it's just not cool.
Speaker 1: Like I'm just I don't know, I think about it,
Speaker 1: and it pisses me off, you know. So anyways, that's
Speaker 1: a side story. But I did see a lot of
Speaker 1: images and it's just nice to know that that ugly
Speaker 1: place turned into something beautiful because it is very beautiful
Speaker 1: and very peaceful, and it made me feel like my
Speaker 1: mom's energy was there and she's like telling us, I'm
Speaker 1: okay because we all felt the same piece, all of us.
Speaker 2: The breeze.
Speaker 1: It was wonderful, like the breeze, the greenery, butterflies were
Speaker 1: all over the place. It was just very nice, and
Speaker 1: there were still pieces of the plane. Like we walked around,
Speaker 1: there was still like like you know, metal still there.
Speaker 1: They're like, oh sometimes it just so with the breeze
Speaker 1: that they come up, and it's just it's crazy.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I can't even believe that this is my life sometimes, guys,
Speaker 1: I really can't. I'm like, how how did this happen?
Speaker 1: And it's just it's insane.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, I hope it doesn't offend any genuine Rivera fans
Speaker 1: out there, because of course that's my mom, proud of
Speaker 1: who she is. But such an ugly event that tormented
Speaker 1: my life, our life for so long, like turned into
Speaker 1: beauty like that place I think was they said, you know,
Speaker 1: nothing grew here for years.
Speaker 2: Now it's green. The breeze was beautiful.
Speaker 1: It was just amazing, like ashes to beauty, and that's
Speaker 1: what I saw and that's what I felt. So yeah,
Speaker 1: if you guys can go out there. It's open to
Speaker 1: the public. There's like a little it's all over in Monterrey.
Speaker 1: Like you can just have to ask anywhere at an
Speaker 1: olkso at a gas station and tell them I want
Speaker 1: to go see where Jenny Rivera is or whatever you
Speaker 1: want to call it, and they'll direct you and they'll
Speaker 1: take you there. So it's really nice. It's not that
Speaker 1: much of a hike, it's not too bad, but take water.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's it, guys. I just wanted to express
Speaker 1: this and you know, answer your guys's questions because I
Speaker 1: was getting a lot of them and tell you my
Speaker 1: experience going to Monterrey and can't really speak for my siblings.
Speaker 1: A lot of people ask like, what did your siblings feel? Like,
Speaker 1: I can't really speak for them. Maybe one day we'll
Speaker 1: have a podcast with all of them and we'll talk
Speaker 1: a little bit more about it. But I can only
Speaker 1: speak about what I felt in my experience and how
Speaker 1: it changed my life. So thank you guys for listening.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. It's always nice to just sit here
Speaker 1: and talk to the mic, talk to you guys, because
Speaker 1: it's like therapy for me.
Speaker 2: So I thank you guys.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening, for watching, for coming to the podcast,
Speaker 1: listening to everything that I have to say, because you know,
Speaker 1: it's always out of love. Think I share. All my
Speaker 1: thoughts and feelings are to inspire and empower in some way. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I love you guys, and I'll catch you on
Speaker 1: the next episode of Cheeky's and Chill a Samayana. This
Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartRadio and Mike wa podcast Network.
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at mike Wintura Podcasts and follow
Speaker 1: me Cheeky's That's c h i q u y s.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your favorite shows.