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Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, Welcome to Cheeky's and Chill Happy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

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Speaker 1: Whenever you are listening to this podcast, to this episode,

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Speaker 1: I hope you're having a good day. This week for

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Speaker 1: me has been a little crazy, to be honest, but good.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like the you know, you're winding down

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Speaker 1: the years ending. A lot of stuff is happening, but

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Speaker 1: I'm happy nonetheless, and I hope you are too. So

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Speaker 1: this episode is going to be a personal one. It's

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Speaker 1: the Mike and I. We're going to be talking about

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Speaker 1: something a lot of people have been asking about because

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Speaker 1: they saw it on Cheeky sinfieldro my docu follow when

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Speaker 1: we went to go visit my mom in Mexico.

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Speaker 2: Well sounds weird? Was in my mom in Mexico? Well

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Speaker 2: were my.

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Speaker 1: Mom passed, where my mom's plane crashed. So that's what

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Speaker 1: we're going to be talking about today because a lot

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Speaker 1: of people asked how that came about, and they just

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Speaker 1: wanted a little bit more details.

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Speaker 2: So we went earlier this year. It's going to be

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Speaker 2: what twelve.

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Speaker 1: Years since my mom's passing, and in December it'll be

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Speaker 1: twelve years and we waited this long because a lot

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Speaker 1: of us weren't ready. It's five of us, five children,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't want to go without them, and Johnny

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Speaker 1: wasn't ready and I wasn't ready for a long time.

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Speaker 1: So anyways, it happened when it was supposed to happen.

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Speaker 1: It happened in Monterrey, Mexico. That's where the plane, you know, crashed.

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Speaker 1: It's still so weird for me to talk about it,

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Speaker 1: to like talk, I just I don't know. It's weird

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Speaker 1: when people ask me, you know, how you know, how

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Speaker 1: old is your mom? Like, oh, my mom was forty

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Speaker 1: four years old, and then they asked, okay, how did

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Speaker 1: she pass? And I say, yeah, It's just so weird

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Speaker 1: to me still, it's just I can't believe it. So anyways,

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Speaker 1: we wanted to go out there. I feel like for me,

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Speaker 1: it was part of my healing journey before getting married.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to kind of get some closure in a way, because.

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Speaker 2: I never really got it.

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Speaker 1: My mom and I weren't on speaking terms. So when

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Speaker 1: that happened, so many things came crumbling down in my life.

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Speaker 1: So I think I worked so hard and was so

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Speaker 1: focused on work, work, work, work, work to kind of

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Speaker 1: just not deal with the pain for so long that

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Speaker 1: it came to a point where I'm like, I can't

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Speaker 1: ignore this. This is part of my life, this is

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Speaker 1: part of my truth. And I told my siblings. I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm ready to go. Who wants to come

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Speaker 1: with me? You know, because we always heard it was

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Speaker 1: a hike and the whole thing. And I talked to Emilio,

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Speaker 1: my husband, about it, and now my husband because he

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Speaker 1: wasn't my husband then when we went, and he said yeah,

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Speaker 1: that he was down to go, and so we all went.

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Speaker 1: And it's called it is where it is, and it

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Speaker 1: again it's a monterrey, so it was a mountain, it's

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Speaker 1: someone's property. It's a farmer has like a huge land,

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Speaker 1: has huge land. And so now we met him, we

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Speaker 1: met his family, his his his wife.

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Speaker 2: We met also his son.

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Speaker 1: His son was and his cousin were one of uh

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Speaker 1: our guides to get up there. They told this in

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Speaker 1: the beginning, Oh, it's going to be like a four

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Speaker 1: hour hike. We're like, oh damn, okay. I was like,

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Speaker 1: my mom's worth it. Let's do it, you know, let's go.

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Speaker 1: But it didn't take us that long. It took us

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Speaker 1: like they were very surprised, you know. So it took

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Speaker 1: us like, I don't know, maybe like a little bit

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Speaker 1: less than two hours.

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Speaker 2: It was very hot.

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Speaker 1: I felt fine for the most part because my siblings

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Speaker 1: were with me, and I've been doing a lot of

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Speaker 1: healing and a lot of like soul searching and therapy,

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Speaker 1: and also having Emilio there helped a lot. So I

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Speaker 1: I didn't go there expecting anything. I was just like,

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Speaker 1: I just want to go and see what I feel.

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Speaker 1: So that's exactly like what I did.

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Speaker 3: On the way up there.

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Speaker 1: My siblings and I were just listening to music, to

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Speaker 1: songs that she liked and her songs, and we were

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Speaker 1: all pretty happy for the most part, I think because

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Speaker 1: we were together when we were doing it together, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: I thought Johnny would have broken down a little more,

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Speaker 1: but the one that broke down more was my brother Mikey.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I just didn't expect it, and I

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Speaker 1: think it really helped him a lot. So anyways, going

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Speaker 1: up there, walking up there, it was very nice, a

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Speaker 1: very very beautiful mountain, and I always felt like where

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Speaker 1: that happened, that incident and that catastrophe, I always thought

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Speaker 1: it was going to be like dark and cold and ugly,

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Speaker 1: and I I didn't know that's what I imagined. So

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy that I was able to go and

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Speaker 1: walking up there in silence and you know, talking you know,

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Speaker 1: to my siblings here and there was really cool. And

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Speaker 1: that we were able to document the you know, the

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Speaker 1: the that day was awesome because then I can show

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Speaker 1: my kids or maybe, I don't know, maybe one day

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Speaker 1: take my kids. We even thought about taking my nieces

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Speaker 1: and nephews one day, but it was so pretty, it

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Speaker 1: was so green and so peaceful. When we actually got

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Speaker 1: to where it happened, I can't the breeze was so nice.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy how much peace I felt. I even thought

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Speaker 1: in a moment, I'm like, why am I not crying?

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Speaker 1: Why am I not sad? Like I'm like something wrong

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Speaker 1: with me? But then when I thought about it, like

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, nothing's wrong with me. I'm I'm I'm good.

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Speaker 1: Even though things happened the way that happened with my

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Speaker 1: mom and I and we weren't able to speak, like,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I have a very beautiful connection with her,

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Speaker 1: and I got the closure that I needed because when

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Speaker 1: we were just sitting there listening to her music, and

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Speaker 1: my brother was we were all kind of doing our

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Speaker 1: own thing. Jenica did cry. She's very very reserved. She went,

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Speaker 1: you know, off to on her own to do her thing.

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Speaker 1: Mikey too, and I just I stood there and I

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Speaker 1: was like kind of closed my eyes and I prayed.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I supposed to get out of

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Speaker 1: this moment? Like what am I looking for? Because I

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Speaker 1: didn't even really know. I just knew it was something

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Speaker 1: I needed to do and I wanted to do with

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Speaker 1: my siblings. So I just all I could hear was

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Speaker 1: it's okay.

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Speaker 3: To let go.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, and I'm like, what, Like it's weird,

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Speaker 1: it's I don't know if it was. I obviously didn't

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Speaker 1: hear someone say it. It was something that I felt

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Speaker 1: in my soul and I but I heard it clearly,

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Speaker 1: like it's okay to let go, And I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: do you mean? Like, I just know that I felt

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Speaker 1: so much peace, and I felt like my mom is good.

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Speaker 1: My mom is so good and at peace wherever she

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Speaker 1: may be. Because I do feel that there's life after

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Speaker 1: this life, whether it's in heaven or I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but I feel she's so busy, so consumed in her

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Speaker 1: new life, doing her thing, she's happy, and she's still

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Speaker 1: watching over us.

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Speaker 2: But I feel her. And this might sound weird, but

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Speaker 2: I feel her far yet close. It's so weird.

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Speaker 1: What I got out of that whole experience and what

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Speaker 1: I have felt after that is just it's okay to

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Speaker 1: let my siblings go, to let them grow, to not

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Speaker 1: hold on so tight, to get married, because that's kind

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Speaker 1: of like what I wanted in a way. I hadn't

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Speaker 1: said any thing to anyone about it, but it was like,

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Speaker 1: it's okay to let go of me, your mother, and

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Speaker 1: step into your new life, which is because I was

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Speaker 1: very scared of getting remarried and I never thought I

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Speaker 1: was going to do it again. I wanted to, but

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know if it's ever going

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Speaker 1: to happen for me, and I just felt like her

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Speaker 1: blessing in that moment. I again, I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to explain it. I can't even going back to that

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Speaker 1: moment and closing my eyes is just such a unique

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Speaker 1: experience that I can't even tell you everything that I felt.

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Speaker 1: I can't even like explain it in words. I just

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Speaker 1: know that I got this like beautiful feeling, like of

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Speaker 1: and now ever since I did that, I used to

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Speaker 1: cry so much on stage for my mom so much,

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Speaker 1: and I did I did that before I started this

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Speaker 1: new tour, the A'm on this tour that was like

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Speaker 1: I think this happened like in April, if I'm not

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Speaker 1: mistaken when we went out there, and I don't cry

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Speaker 1: for her the way I used to on stage or

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Speaker 1: when I would sing her songs, like I think of her,

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Speaker 1: but it's not a sadness anymore. It's not like this grieving.

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Speaker 1: It's it's peace. It's like it's so weird.

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Speaker 2: I don't even.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, and it's gonna sound crazy, I think,

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Speaker 1: you know, because I know a lot of people love

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Speaker 1: my mom.

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Speaker 3: But I feel like.

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Speaker 1: Like I got the answers that I needed, Like not

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Speaker 1: like I don't love her, because I love her very much,

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Speaker 1: and there's times when I miss her so much, but

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Speaker 1: I don't cry the way I used to.

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Speaker 2: I feel like we're good.

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Speaker 1: She was my mom, she was meant to be my

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Speaker 1: mom in this in this lifetime to teach me certain things,

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Speaker 1: so I can teach her certain things. And she's moved

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Speaker 1: on and she's doing something else, and I'm okay to

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Speaker 1: start doing me my life, live my life the way

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Speaker 1: I want to live it in every aspect and my

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Speaker 1: personal life and my career with my siblings. And even

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Speaker 1: since then, like I've in a way kind of let

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Speaker 1: go of my siblings as well, like I'm like, okay.

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Speaker 2: They're grown.

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Speaker 1: I love them very much, but I have to let

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Speaker 1: them live and learn and be here for them. But

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Speaker 1: now it's me and my husband. It's my husband and

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Speaker 1: I and I didn't feel that. I always felt like

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Speaker 1: my what I'm supposed to be doing in this world

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Speaker 1: is always honoring my mom and her legacy and what

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Speaker 1: she left for me and my siblings. And I just

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Speaker 1: felt like this need and this desire and this fire

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Speaker 1: within me to just do anything and everything for them,

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Speaker 1: and that's what my purpose was in life. And when

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Speaker 1: I did that and I went to go see her,

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Speaker 1: and I got this like let go, that's all I heard,

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh shit, Like I have my own

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Speaker 1: life to live, like I have a different purpose. I

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Speaker 1: don't necessarily need to just do that or be that.

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Speaker 1: I can build and it's okay, and I and I

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Speaker 1: let go. And it's crazy because I think like I

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Speaker 1: had this this idea of, you know, there were times

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Speaker 1: where I was angry at her, I guess, you know,

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Speaker 1: because of everything that happened, and I had this idea of, like, shit,

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Speaker 1: that's what she left me. But now I'm like, no,

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Speaker 1: that's just a little part. You know. Yes that happened,

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Speaker 1: Yes we weren't on talking terms, but that doesn't determine

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Speaker 1: all of our relationship, you know, And.

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Speaker 2: And that's it. I'm going to leave that in my

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Speaker 2: past and I'm good.

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Speaker 1: And then after that, after we went to see my

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Speaker 1: mom and I got like her blessing of like letting go.

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Speaker 2: And my idea of what I got out of that.

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Speaker 1: Then I went to visit my dad and I got

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Speaker 1: his blessing, and I feel like, without even knowing or

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Speaker 1: planning it, everything just fell into place. And I was

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Speaker 1: ready to get married, like to step into this new

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Speaker 1: era of my life. And I'm glad we did it.

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Speaker 1: And it was very healing, and I think my brother

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Speaker 1: Mikey's doing a lot better. My sister Jackie had that

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Speaker 1: was her second time going, Jenica's first. I feel like

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Speaker 1: ever since we went there, we got a lot of

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Speaker 1: clarity and a lot of direction, and I don't know

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Speaker 1: it just it did something for us and it was

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Speaker 1: just I guess that that missing piece of the puzzle

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Speaker 1: to like just in a way move on. As messed

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Speaker 1: up as that might sound to certain people, but it

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Speaker 1: was just this beautiful gift that like we got, or

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Speaker 1: at least I did, And I think we all felt

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Speaker 1: different things, but we had that in common of like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's our mom, we love her, but she's happy. Also

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Speaker 1: moved on is what I felt like, She's she's happy, she's.

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Speaker 2: Good wherever she is.

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Speaker 1: There was so much peace, guys, Like I can't even explain,

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Speaker 1: Like just thinking of what I felt in that moment

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Speaker 1: makes me want to cry because I was like, shit,

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Speaker 1: she's good. And I think that's what I needed to

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Speaker 1: feel to just say, Okay, cool, she's good. I need

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Speaker 1: to be okay and not thinking I need to be

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Speaker 1: okay for my siblings or for anyone else, but I

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Speaker 1: need to be okay for me, for Jane, for my life,

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Speaker 1: to have kids, to like just live a different life.

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Speaker 1: And I just I don't know a lot of people

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Speaker 1: ask me like what did you feel? Like what did

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Speaker 1: you guys think? And that's why I wanted to talk

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Speaker 1: about it on an episode of Cheeky's and Chill because

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Speaker 1: this is my space to open up and express things

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Speaker 1: to you. So I thank you guys for allowing me

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Speaker 1: to do that. And I don't know, I just I

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Speaker 1: highly recommend guys, like, if you feel it in your

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Speaker 1: heart and there's things that you haven't gotten closure if

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Speaker 1: you can, if you feel it in your heart, do

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Speaker 1: it get closure in one way or another. Because of

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Speaker 1: course I'd love to speak to my mother and see

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Speaker 1: her and like hear the words that I imagine, like for

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Speaker 1: her to in a way even apologize to me, because

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Speaker 1: a lot of things went down in a messed up way,

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Speaker 1: but I feel in her way she did apologize to me,

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Speaker 1: is what I felt. And again I can't explain it.

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Speaker 1: It's just something that happened, spiritual, I don't know, but

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Speaker 1: it really has helped me just.

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Speaker 3: Move on with my life.

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Speaker 1: It was really nice to see a place that I

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Speaker 1: for so long that was just this ugly dark place,

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Speaker 1: place that tormented my life, not only mine, my famili's

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Speaker 1: people that loved my mother. I just saw that place

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Speaker 1: as something just so dark and just I don't know,

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Speaker 1: and especially because I saw pictures and footage that people

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Speaker 1: that were there, like police officers and you know, authorities

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Speaker 1: and stuff that weren't necessarily supposed to do that, but

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Speaker 1: they they shared and I'm assuming sould the footage. And

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Speaker 1: I just never thought I would want to go there

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Speaker 1: because I saw some pretty graphic pictures remains of not

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Speaker 1: only my mom, but like people that were on the

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Speaker 1: plane with her and her dress. And I actually there

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Speaker 1: was this this picture that I'll never forget of my

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Speaker 1: mom's dress, her Mariacci dress that she was wearing the

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Speaker 1: night of that her last concert in Monterrey. There it

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Speaker 1: was just like hanging on a tree, and that tree

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Speaker 1: is still there, and that tree, I guess with the

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Speaker 1: plane like with one of the wings cut off like

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Speaker 1: the top of it. So my mom's dress, I guess

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Speaker 1: flew on top of the on top of the tree

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Speaker 1: and it was like this humongous tree before now it

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Speaker 1: is now it's what it was before. But They're like,

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Speaker 1: that's the tree where the dress was. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, it's crazy because I didn't ask. No

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Speaker 1: one asked the guide. He's like, oh, that's the tree

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Speaker 1: where the dress was. A pink dress, and I'm like

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I'll never forget that picture, that image,

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Speaker 1: because I just I was thinking in that moment, guys,

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, maybe someone placed it there. Maybe

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Speaker 1: I wanted to think my mom hadn't died. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to think that someone had taken her and they just

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Speaker 1: placed it there to make it seem like I thought

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Speaker 1: so many things. I was like, no, she's still alive.

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Speaker 1: She's hiding somewhere. And I remember thinking when everything happened

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Speaker 1: that Sunday, because she passed away on a Sunday, or

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Speaker 1: they passed away on a side day. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to just talk about my mom, but like, you know,

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Speaker 1: there's other people there with her. You know, that happened

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Speaker 1: on a Sunday. And I was still I still had

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Speaker 1: hope Monday Tuesday until Wednesday when some idiot posted or

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Speaker 1: they decided they thought it was a great idea to

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Speaker 1: post images and and it was a picture of my

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Speaker 1: mom's toes and I knew, I freaking knew. I said,

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Speaker 1: this is I massage those feet. I know that's my mom,

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Speaker 1: and that's what I knew. I was like, shit, she's

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Speaker 1: not coming home. I just and that's when I had

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Speaker 1: to break the news to my siblings, and.

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Speaker 2: It was tough.

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Speaker 1: That's why I'm just I'm so against people posting or

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Speaker 1: sharing images like that, like when they try to share

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Speaker 1: images of like Kobe, you know, and and Vanessa suit

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Speaker 1: of the shit out of them, good job and she

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Speaker 1: won as she should, like it's not cool, you know,

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Speaker 1: or when you know, Nipsey got shot and killed and

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Speaker 1: someone posted actually unfollowed this girl, which is like what

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Speaker 1: started this beef with her? She talks I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: mention him her name because it's not even worth it.

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Speaker 1: But she's this girl that's like a blogger or she

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Speaker 1: just talks shit about people, a lot about me. And

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Speaker 1: it all happened because I unfollowed her because I told her,

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Speaker 1: I said, hey, it's not cool that you're posting this

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Speaker 1: video of him being shot and he's on the Like

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Speaker 1: I was very upset about it. I was like, he

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Speaker 1: has kids, he has his wife, Like I'm sure she's

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Speaker 1: watched it. She doesn't want the whole world to watch

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Speaker 1: her man Lauren like like you know, on the floor,

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Speaker 1: like fighting for his life and it's just not cool.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm just I don't know, I think about it,

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Speaker 1: and it pisses me off, you know. So anyways, that's

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Speaker 1: a side story. But I did see a lot of

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Speaker 1: images and it's just nice to know that that ugly

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Speaker 1: place turned into something beautiful because it is very beautiful

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Speaker 1: and very peaceful, and it made me feel like my

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Speaker 1: mom's energy was there and she's like telling us, I'm

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Speaker 1: okay because we all felt the same piece, all of us.

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Speaker 2: The breeze.

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Speaker 1: It was wonderful, like the breeze, the greenery, butterflies were

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Speaker 1: all over the place. It was just very nice, and

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Speaker 1: there were still pieces of the plane. Like we walked around,

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Speaker 1: there was still like like you know, metal still there.

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Speaker 1: They're like, oh sometimes it just so with the breeze

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Speaker 1: that they come up, and it's just it's crazy.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I can't even believe that this is my life sometimes, guys,

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Speaker 1: I really can't. I'm like, how how did this happen?

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Speaker 1: And it's just it's insane.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, I.

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Speaker 1: Mean, I hope it doesn't offend any genuine Rivera fans

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Speaker 1: out there, because of course that's my mom, proud of

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Speaker 1: who she is. But such an ugly event that tormented

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Speaker 1: my life, our life for so long, like turned into

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Speaker 1: beauty like that place I think was they said, you know,

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Speaker 1: nothing grew here for years.

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Speaker 2: Now it's green. The breeze was beautiful.

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Speaker 1: It was just amazing, like ashes to beauty, and that's

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Speaker 1: what I saw and that's what I felt. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you guys can go out there. It's open to

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Speaker 1: the public. There's like a little it's all over in Monterrey.

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Speaker 1: Like you can just have to ask anywhere at an

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Speaker 1: olkso at a gas station and tell them I want

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Speaker 1: to go see where Jenny Rivera is or whatever you

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Speaker 1: want to call it, and they'll direct you and they'll

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Speaker 1: take you there. So it's really nice. It's not that

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Speaker 1: much of a hike, it's not too bad, but take water.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, that's it, guys. I just wanted to express

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Speaker 1: this and you know, answer your guys's questions because I

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Speaker 1: was getting a lot of them and tell you my

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Speaker 1: experience going to Monterrey and can't really speak for my siblings.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people ask like, what did your siblings feel? Like,

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Speaker 1: I can't really speak for them. Maybe one day we'll

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Speaker 1: have a podcast with all of them and we'll talk

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Speaker 1: a little bit more about it. But I can only

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Speaker 1: speak about what I felt in my experience and how

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Speaker 1: it changed my life. So thank you guys for listening.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate it. It's always nice to just sit here

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Speaker 1: and talk to the mic, talk to you guys, because

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Speaker 1: it's like therapy for me.

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Speaker 2: So I thank you guys.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for listening, for watching, for coming to the podcast,

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Speaker 1: listening to everything that I have to say, because you know,

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Speaker 1: it's always out of love. Think I share. All my

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Speaker 1: thoughts and feelings are to inspire and empower in some way. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So I love you guys, and I'll catch you on

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Speaker 1: the next episode of Cheeky's and Chill a Samayana. This

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Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartRadio and Mike wa podcast Network.

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Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at mike Wintura Podcasts and follow

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Speaker 1: me Cheeky's That's c h i q u y s.

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Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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Speaker 1: or wherever you get your favorite shows.