Speaker 1: Hi, Hi, How are you, hi, Chelsea?
Speaker 2: You've got some interesting looking fish behind you.
Speaker 3: I'm in Greece. I'm in Paro's, Greece with my family.
Speaker 3: It's my sister's sixtieth birthday. So there are twelve women,
Speaker 3: eleven women here from our family, my sisters, my nieces,
Speaker 3: my cousins, my aunt and my Oh my god, am
Speaker 3: I going to say, great niece.
Speaker 4: I'm not going to say that.
Speaker 1: We can fudge the numbers there.
Speaker 4: It's fine, Please please fudge them.
Speaker 1: That's wonderful. How long How long are you guys there?
Speaker 1: How long are you going to be there?
Speaker 4: We're on a Roman holiday.
Speaker 3: We've been here for two days, three days, and we're
Speaker 3: here for a full week and it's beautiful and it's
Speaker 3: Grecian and we are eating the best food in the world,
Speaker 3: and our family is together and without so like, there
Speaker 3: is really nothing better than being with all the women
Speaker 3: in your life.
Speaker 4: Without men. I mean, there were no men that even
Speaker 4: come to the house to like work at the house.
Speaker 5: It's all women.
Speaker 4: My aunt goes, do you only request female chefs? I'm like, no,
Speaker 4: but that's a great idea.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: I was listening to some interview with a pop star
Speaker 2: who shall not be named, and she was like, you know,
Speaker 2: usually I'm the only woman in the room. And I
Speaker 2: was like, you're big enough that that's your choice. So
Speaker 2: I'm glad that you're choosing to be with all women.
Speaker 2: Just makes things a little more peaceful.
Speaker 4: Totally, meg and more reasonable.
Speaker 3: Like last night, all the girls, the young girls made
Speaker 3: dinner together and they made fish tacos and it was
Speaker 3: Jordan and Charlie and Ella and they were all just like,
Speaker 3: it was so cute to see these little butterflies roaming around,
Speaker 3: like going from the outdoor kitchen to the indoor kitchen
Speaker 3: and we're just sitting there like, you know, I'm drinking
Speaker 3: obviously because that's what I do, and I was just
Speaker 3: observing it. I was like, this is so sweet, you know,
Speaker 3: watching all of the family members kind of you know, interrelate.
Speaker 4: It's just so sweet. We have so many girls in
Speaker 4: our family, so it's so nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's great that like everybody seems like they
Speaker 2: vibe really well.
Speaker 1: And if there is any sort of you know, interpersonal.
Speaker 4: It's me, by the way, I'm always the problem. So
Speaker 4: I'm always the biggest problem.
Speaker 2: Excellent, Well, I'm glad. We you know, we're all self aware.
Speaker 2: We can take a responsibility for our stuff.
Speaker 5: Awesome.
Speaker 1: Well, Chelsea, you have some new dates coming up?
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm adding some dates. Well, I'm doing Vegas on
Speaker 3: July fifth, so.
Speaker 5: Come to that.
Speaker 3: And I added a couple of stand up dates to
Speaker 3: round out the year. I'm doing Westhampton Beach August twenty first,
Speaker 3: I'm headlining the Rochester Fringe Comedy Festival September thirteenth, and
Speaker 3: I will be in NAPA on October third, So that's
Speaker 3: how I'm rounding out the year. I feel slightly guilty
Speaker 3: about being in Europe during everything that's happening in America,
Speaker 3: but I also feel like I'm gathering my strength.
Speaker 2: Yes, you have to like sharpen the acts before you
Speaker 2: can go back to work.
Speaker 1: And also like you are someone.
Speaker 2: Because you have such a large following. It's like you
Speaker 2: can also still be doing the work from other places
Speaker 2: and you are.
Speaker 4: So I think that's great.
Speaker 5: Thanks Koth.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we have a lovely returning guest who we love today.
Speaker 3: Oh yeh, so we love her and she has a
Speaker 3: new special called Father out on Hulu which you all
Speaker 3: must go watch. And you know how much we love
Speaker 3: female comedians on this podcast, So please welcome Otsco oh Kotskott.
Speaker 5: Chelsea, my daughter is that you?
Speaker 4: Uh, you're my ba, You're my baby and I'm your mother.
Speaker 5: That's all right.
Speaker 4: I'm not your daughter.
Speaker 3: You're my baby and my baby got a new bowl
Speaker 3: cut because it looks very, very fresh.
Speaker 4: Did you just cut it right now?
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's been trimming it. She's talking about your work current,
Speaker 5: she's so you're here here, I'll put this.
Speaker 2: Is kurn and if you're not watching on YouTube, just
Speaker 2: so you know, Osco's finishing up a haircut right now.
Speaker 3: I don't know if her cut actually I thought maybe
Speaker 3: her cut. Her hair actually just starts cutting itself when
Speaker 3: it gets too long.
Speaker 5: Well, let's not talk about that, Chelsea.
Speaker 4: I have you out of a jump.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, copy that. So there is somebody tending to it.
Speaker 3: Okay like a gardener. Okay, got it.
Speaker 5: I'm a yes ahead, guys, thank you, I am yeah, no,
Speaker 5: can you believe? Yeah? This is today for I said,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna see Chelsea, let's get that pristine cut going.
Speaker 5: And Hi, Catherine, Hi, how are you?
Speaker 4: Otsco? Okotska's here? Everybody?
Speaker 3: If that took me a long time to say that
Speaker 3: name properly, and now it just rolls right off the tongue.
Speaker 3: Otsko Okotska. You're gonna tell me I'm saying it wrong,
Speaker 3: are you?
Speaker 5: No, not at all? And it was and it was
Speaker 5: Shell say yeah, Shelley, Actually, we love, we love. We
Speaker 5: love a woman that's always updating herself.
Speaker 3: You know, absolutely, I mean, yeah, there's so many seasons
Speaker 3: to being a woman.
Speaker 5: It's just it's always a surprise your own body.
Speaker 3: Now that I'm fifty, I'm like, oh god, so many
Speaker 3: different things. Like I remember when I when I was younger,
Speaker 3: my boobs were so big, right, they were so big.
Speaker 3: And now as I've gotten more in shape and like
Speaker 3: leaner and older, they've gotten to the exact size that
Speaker 3: I like, they're not too much, like I can contain them,
Speaker 3: and like all of the different changes that you go
Speaker 3: through in your body. Like I always heard such negative
Speaker 3: things about aging, and I have to say, I'm having
Speaker 3: a positive aging experience, and I wish the same for you, Otsco,
Speaker 3: because I know you're not old.
Speaker 4: How old are you?
Speaker 5: I'm thirty six.
Speaker 3: Thirty six, okay, so I'm fourteen years older than you,
Speaker 3: And I want you to know, well, you're Asian, so
Speaker 3: your aging experience is already going to be superior to Caucasians.
Speaker 3: Asian aging aging experience, aging is not to be used
Speaker 3: with Asians.
Speaker 5: Hey, happy aging months, which is me? Happy ag Yeah,
Speaker 5: which is me? Yeah? Anyway, you know yeah, wait right,
Speaker 5: I'm wondering. Have we started recording?
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're recording. Yeah, what is wrying?
Speaker 1: He's rolling for you?
Speaker 5: Incredible? No, I was like, we're catching up so good already.
Speaker 4: No, No, we're all we're going to use all of this.
Speaker 4: Don't worry.
Speaker 3: We want our audience to know the ins and outs
Speaker 3: of all of our relationships. No.
Speaker 5: I appreciate that what you just said about that aging.
Speaker 5: I don't relate to the big boobs, to the finally
Speaker 5: good boobs or like perfect size boobs. For me, it's
Speaker 5: always been the same.
Speaker 4: Double A since you were born pretty much.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, which is nice. I like consistency, so.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and a double A.
Speaker 3: That's almost like you don't even have to wear a bra,
Speaker 3: right or do you do you wear bra?
Speaker 5: I was being humble. I just realized I'm actually a
Speaker 5: b thank you.
Speaker 4: Oh excuse me? Oh I didn't realize that. So you've
Speaker 4: graduated now, you're a bee.
Speaker 5: Okay, and my grandma d's double d's who knew. Yeah.
Speaker 3: See, some people get bigger boobs as they get older.
Speaker 3: Did she always have bigger boobs?
Speaker 5: We never. I don't think she ever was measured until
Speaker 5: more recently when we were buying bras for her and
Speaker 5: she didn't seem faced because it's not like she really
Speaker 5: has girlfriends that she talks about bra sizes with. So
Speaker 5: I said, Grandma, what was the measurement? She goes thirty
Speaker 5: six double D like a softlex. My jaw dropped and
Speaker 5: she said, what, that's not normal? I said, I mean,
Speaker 5: it's not what I have. I thought we were related.
Speaker 3: Otsco has a new special out on Hulu. It's called Father.
Speaker 3: By the time this comes out, your special will be airing.
Speaker 3: This is your sophomore special on Hulu and Disney It's
Speaker 3: called Father. Now, without giving away any of the jokes
Speaker 3: in the special, why did you call it Father?
Speaker 5: Well, so I do talk a little bit about reconnecting
Speaker 5: with my dad in it, but also, like my fans
Speaker 5: call me mother. You know, we were talking about well,
Speaker 5: I call you mother, but my friends call me mother,
Speaker 5: and you know, but mothers have it together, right, so
Speaker 5: I'm more.
Speaker 4: Father, right, you know, I'm also kind of more of
Speaker 4: a father than a mother.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 4: A stepfather is where I come into my own you know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, where we're like both thriving in life, but sometimes
Speaker 5: clueless about everyday basics, like we're like the sun and
Speaker 5: the moon are different. Or that was you but you know,
Speaker 5: thank you just and or that I didn't know I
Speaker 5: hadn't been doing the laundry for the past seven years,
Speaker 5: like that kind of thing.
Speaker 4: Who but Ran is Ryan doing the laundry.
Speaker 3: Ryan is Otsco's husband, Yes, who I refer to as
Speaker 3: her captor because he takes care of all things Otsco.
Speaker 3: And if Otsco didn't have Ryan in her life, Otsco,
Speaker 3: she probably wouldn't even be alive.
Speaker 5: I would live outside and and you know and maybe thrive,
Speaker 5: you know, because of my personality. But Ryan is mother. Yeah,
Speaker 5: he's the one that's been doing the laundry this whole time.
Speaker 5: We were both surprised though. It was like this devastating
Speaker 5: moment where we both realized, wait, that means you, that
Speaker 5: means it's been you this whole time.
Speaker 4: And that was a surprise to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it alway was it a surprise to Ryan,
Speaker 3: who was doing the laundry.
Speaker 5: Yes, because sometimes you just go, oh, here's fresh new laundry,
Speaker 5: and you forget that, you know what I mean. We
Speaker 5: sometimes you just don't know you're the one that's been
Speaker 5: doing it. And the times he's not doing it, he
Speaker 5: thought I'd been doing mine, but I just wasn't washing
Speaker 5: my clothes, right.
Speaker 3: I believe No, No, it doesn't make sense at all,
Speaker 3: but I believe you. I believe you when I when
Speaker 3: I come to Whistler, I don't have a housekeeper here.
Speaker 3: It couldn't be farther afield than my life in La
Speaker 3: or my life anywhere else for that matter. But I
Speaker 3: have a cleaning lady that comes like once a week
Speaker 3: and that's it. And my place here is small enough
Speaker 3: that I can't really blow anything up. But when I
Speaker 3: first came here for two weeks in COVID, I was
Speaker 3: using the I was washing my own clothes for the
Speaker 3: first time in many, many years, and I was using
Speaker 3: the dryer as a washer, and I was putting the
Speaker 3: detergent in the dryer, and then my clothes would come
Speaker 3: out and they were like stained and tide eyed. They
Speaker 3: were dry, though, and so I was so confused because
Speaker 3: the dryer's on top of the washer, the washers, and
Speaker 3: it's like one of those stacked things. And so for
Speaker 3: the longest time I was like, I don't understand. It's like,
Speaker 3: I can't be this bad at washing clothes, and and
Speaker 3: it struck me that I was. Yes, that was a
Speaker 3: big wake up call for me. I thought, Wow, you're
Speaker 3: a real fucking idiot.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, me too. Why are we twins? Yeah,
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 4: And we don't look like Choin's but we have a
Speaker 4: lot in common.
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, we're literally fra turtle.
Speaker 4: We're fraternal. We're fraternal from different continents.
Speaker 5: In the seventh grade, I did have blonde hair, so
Speaker 5: I did wonder yeaheah.
Speaker 3: Well that was you looking for your real mother. So
Speaker 3: you were in the New York Times talking about the
Speaker 3: joke that changed your life. It says that there's a
Speaker 3: joke that Tig Nataro told that What was that joke
Speaker 3: from Tig It's.
Speaker 5: Called no moleste if we name jokes, right, And yeah,
Speaker 5: it's just about how when she was performing in Mexico. Right,
Speaker 5: every time she's in a hotel, she puts that do
Speaker 5: not disturb sign up but in Spanish it's no moleeste
Speaker 5: and you just laugh if you're like an English speaker,
Speaker 5: because you know that's scary to have to put that
Speaker 5: up every night.
Speaker 3: And so, by the way, we should have signs that's
Speaker 3: say that at our hotel rooms in America anyway, we
Speaker 3: should have signs that say no molested.
Speaker 5: You know what, Actually, that's very true. That joke didn't
Speaker 5: age well, because these days you do need that.
Speaker 3: Literally, I remember that joke from Tig. Tig has a
Speaker 3: great joke writing ability. You do that too, because you
Speaker 3: have great jokes, but you're also telling personal stories.
Speaker 4: So you combine the two because you know.
Speaker 3: There's comics that just tell jokes, set up, premise, set up,
Speaker 3: and like a punchline. Whereas many comedians are storytellers, I'm
Speaker 3: a storyteller. I tell stories, and there are jokes within
Speaker 3: the stories and punchlines within the stories. But you blend
Speaker 3: both of those things together. I think very nicely.
Speaker 5: Thank you. I mean, we all didn't live forty years
Speaker 5: each year like you did. You know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Where every time I hear your stories, I'm like, okay,
Speaker 5: but she's only eight years old and she already did
Speaker 5: what she's she's spiking people's lemonades. You know what I mean,
Speaker 5: like you know at a young age.
Speaker 4: Yeahah, yeah, I know what you mean.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I need to blend, you know, sometimes jokes about
Speaker 5: them because I'm like, you know, big old things didn't
Speaker 5: happen every month.
Speaker 4: Right, absolutely, I understand. Ots go.
Speaker 3: So, how has it been going with you and Ryan
Speaker 3: on the road? What where have you guys been lately?
Speaker 3: I mean, I can't I didn't see I haven't seen
Speaker 3: you in almost like, I don't know, has it been
Speaker 3: a year.
Speaker 4: I don't think it's been a year. I haven't seen
Speaker 4: you since. We had a dinner party at my friend's
Speaker 4: house while she was upstairs in her bedroom.
Speaker 5: I know, right, we just took over her place and
Speaker 5: her dinner time. I feel like we were just eating
Speaker 5: your friend's tacos. It was meant for her kids, and
Speaker 5: we were eating them.
Speaker 3: I said, I was staying at my friend Allison's house,
Speaker 3: and I was like, Alison, can I have some people
Speaker 3: over for dinner tonight?
Speaker 4: No, I wasn't even staying there.
Speaker 3: I just said that was a good meeting point because
Speaker 3: you guys are so far east and my house wasn't
Speaker 3: really fully done, and I was dating someone at the time.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I had my mountain man there and I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, let's all have dinner. And I was like,
Speaker 3: this is a good middle spot. So I just called
Speaker 3: my friend and she said, I said, can I have
Speaker 3: some people over for dinner? And she's like, well, I'm
Speaker 3: getting my eyelashes done and I'm like, no, no, you're
Speaker 3: not invited, Like can I have people over for dinner?
Speaker 4: And we're doing our own thing and she's like, oh,
Speaker 4: oh oh yeah absolutely. So that was the last time
Speaker 4: I think we saw each other, right.
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, It's like a very classic hangout with Chelsea
Speaker 5: handler moment. Yeah, we're at one point we were hanging out,
Speaker 5: drinking tequilas, eating tacos. I went inside and saw kids.
Speaker 5: I screamed because for a second I was like, wait, right,
Speaker 5: this isn't Chelsea's house. I was like, who are they?
Speaker 5: Who are they? They're exactly their house.
Speaker 3: Imagine how I felt when I saw the kids and
Speaker 3: I was like, whoaa, I just asked to have a
Speaker 3: dinner party here. I didn't sign up for this sort
Speaker 3: of chicanery.
Speaker 5: That's right. I didn't know we were all eating the
Speaker 5: same meal. Oh this is your meal.
Speaker 3: Where are you on the subject of having children? Are
Speaker 3: you ever going to procreate?
Speaker 5: Do you think?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 5: Remember that's our sisterhood promise.
Speaker 4: Okay, I just wanted to make sure nothing has changed.
Speaker 5: Yeah. No, that biological clock they talk about that doesn't
Speaker 5: exist within me. I don't even own a real clock, right,
Speaker 5: So no, I don't you know that's such a big
Speaker 5: thing that's supposedly quickly changes within you. No, it's not
Speaker 5: like my favorite color changing.
Speaker 4: Right, I understand that. So how has it been traveling
Speaker 4: with Ryan? What have you guys learned?
Speaker 3: Like your relationship? You spend so much time with your husband.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know anyone who spends more time
Speaker 3: with their with their husband. Do you guys ever fight?
Speaker 5: We do? Yes, we do, But what do you fight about?
Speaker 5: Mostly it's you know, oh, let's go. You have to
Speaker 5: put the keys in the right place every time, the
Speaker 5: same place. It's very simple, you know, it's a lot
Speaker 5: of that. I do ask a lot of him because
Speaker 5: he works with me and you know, for me, and
Speaker 5: so yeah, sometimes it's that. And I've been I've been
Speaker 5: keeping up. I've been trying to be more organized because
Speaker 5: it's a reciprocal thing right, relationships. But we've we've been
Speaker 5: we've been to Asia, We've been to Australia, New Zealand
Speaker 5: and Europe with my tour together.
Speaker 3: And you brought your Did you bring your grandmother or
Speaker 3: your mother on one of those trips you, I mean,
Speaker 3: on a.
Speaker 4: Couple of those trips, right.
Speaker 5: I wanted to, but honestly they're too old now. So
Speaker 5: uh yeah, So it's just me and Ryan, you know,
Speaker 5: going to see parents together. Took him to a cabaret
Speaker 5: that was fun, you know, and so yeah, I love
Speaker 5: seeing different cultures. We love traveling together. And just based
Speaker 5: on how people laugh, I feel like you can really
Speaker 5: learn a lot about a culture, you know.
Speaker 4: Uh huh, Like why what culture surprised you?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 4: Which cultures were the most surprising to you?
Speaker 5: Okay, the Scandinavians really surprised me in a pleasant way.
Speaker 5: I didn't know anything about them. I had seen the
Speaker 5: movie Frozen. It's an animated movie. I said, is it
Speaker 5: kind of like that?
Speaker 6: You know?
Speaker 5: And because I was so worried, I said, all my
Speaker 5: life right in America, I've had to teach people how
Speaker 5: to pronounce my name Otsko that you is there. But
Speaker 5: it's silent, right, So I said, how am I gonna,
Speaker 5: you know, connect to Norway? How am I going to
Speaker 5: explain that to people in Iceland? Are they going to
Speaker 5: understand me? Are they going to get my jokes? And
Speaker 5: then I go there and they're like, bitch, my name
Speaker 5: is thiro biro Jon's daughter. Okay, I have a one girl,
Speaker 5: she said, my cousin. I have a cousin. Her name
Speaker 5: is your four East is not a problem for me.
Speaker 5: I felt so seen, you know what I mean? And
Speaker 5: so I loved the Scandinavians. They are true weirdos. You're
Speaker 5: doing Scandinavia too, right, Yes, yes, I.
Speaker 3: Think we're doing like sixteen shows, thirteen countries. Yes, So
Speaker 3: I fucking love this schedule. I mean I would like
Speaker 3: a little bit more downtime in between, but fuck it.
Speaker 3: I mean I go, you know what it's like, you
Speaker 3: go at this pace and then you acclimate to this
Speaker 3: pace and then you just survive it, like it's like
Speaker 3: you're surviving your own.
Speaker 5: Tour, right, totally. Yeah, we extended it. We did it
Speaker 5: over a month. We have the same tour people. I
Speaker 5: knew you were going to Europe. I was so excited.
Speaker 5: I was like ah, I want to tell her all
Speaker 5: about it. And you know the I ranked the countries
Speaker 5: based on shyest to liveliest that I've performed.
Speaker 4: In Okay, which and ones are the shyest.
Speaker 5: Shyest number twenty eight. Sitting at number twenty eight is
Speaker 5: the Belgians.
Speaker 4: Oh really.
Speaker 5: My opener did a backflip to silence during his set
Speaker 5: and then he had to that's the Belgians. He had
Speaker 5: to then walk back to the mic, also in silence
Speaker 5: because he was far away from it by then. Isn't
Speaker 5: that wild?
Speaker 4: That's good to know, though, That's good to know.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I'm going to Brussels, so I'll be there.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: What about the Swiss?
Speaker 5: The Swiss? The Swiss, Oh, they were pretty lively, Actually
Speaker 5: they were pretty They were more lively. The Swedish too,
Speaker 5: and Parisians. I was told they're going to be very quiet,
Speaker 5: but they were one of the liveliest crowds I had.
Speaker 5: They were very locals too. They're getting weirder and they're
Speaker 5: getting into English speaking stand up. It's really beautiful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, because half the places I'm going, I'm like,
Speaker 3: are we sure they speak English? My friend and who
Speaker 3: lives in Sweden, he's like, listen, no one speaks English
Speaker 3: and Sweden.
Speaker 4: I'm like, what are you fucking talking about.
Speaker 3: I've been there people, everyone speaks English and sweet He's like,
Speaker 3: nobody speaks English. So I don't know if he's fucking
Speaker 3: with me. I assume he's fucking with me because I
Speaker 3: just stopped responding. I don't like those kinds of antagonistic texts.
Speaker 5: I agree. He just he just wants to see if
Speaker 5: you'll get on stage and speak slower because you've been
Speaker 5: lied to.
Speaker 4: I know, I know.
Speaker 3: It's so hard for me to speak slowly. You know,
Speaker 3: I just don't have that clip. Even when I was
Speaker 3: recording my book, they're like, can you slow it down?
Speaker 3: I'm like, that's not authentic. I'm like, me slowing down
Speaker 3: my talking doesn't sound like how I tell a story.
Speaker 3: I have to tell a story like this. So yeah,
Speaker 3: and so either they're going to catch on or they're not.
Speaker 3: The great thing is I'll just be in one place
Speaker 3: for each day and then I'm out, so you know,
Speaker 3: we'll see.
Speaker 5: Oh gosh, it was it was my favorite. Yeah, one
Speaker 5: day is enough. I feel like my opener also was
Speaker 5: newly single, so it's fun to see him going out
Speaker 5: every night to hook up with different men, you know.
Speaker 4: Oh, oh yeah, of course I love that.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm bringing Yaminika to a few of my dates.
Speaker 3: You know, Yaminika, and she is me for Dick, So
Speaker 3: we are hoping to just get her plucked left, right
Speaker 3: and center throughout Europe. Europe is not going to know
Speaker 3: what hit them once they meet Yaminika.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, the two of you together arrested Ja.
Speaker 3: We have a real hard time together keeping our shit together.
Speaker 3: It's one bad decision after another.
Speaker 5: Yeah you are You're that White Castle movie, Harold and
Speaker 5: Kumar Kumar. Yeah, the two of you trying to find
Speaker 5: weed in Sweden exactly.
Speaker 3: Yes, because I can't travel with drugs anymore because I've
Speaker 3: talked so openly about my love for them, so I
Speaker 3: can no longer transport them. So that leaves me with
Speaker 3: having to find drugs when I get there. But luckily,
Speaker 3: my reputation procedes itself, and people are very hip to
Speaker 3: bringing as you've seen yourself, people are very hip to
Speaker 3: bringing me drugs, and I encourage that.
Speaker 5: That's where that's the only that's where our brands differ
Speaker 5: a little bit. Where people do throw like mushrooms at
Speaker 5: you from the crowd on the stage right. And then
Speaker 5: for me, people show up to my shows in wigs
Speaker 5: of my bull cut, so it's a little different. I'm
Speaker 5: more I'm more like Mini Mouse, you know what I mean? Yeah, right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: and you're like, you're like Papa Smurf.
Speaker 4: I'm more like Papa Smurf and you're more like Mini Mouse.
Speaker 5: I knew it. Papas Murph was definitely a drug dealer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be
Speaker 3: right back with Otsco.
Speaker 4: Okotska, We're back with Otsco.
Speaker 3: Okay, we're gonna take some callers. Catherine, what do we
Speaker 3: what do we got in?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: So this first one is a written one.
Speaker 2: This is Anne Marie. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a
Speaker 2: listener in the UK. I listen every week and love
Speaker 2: the show. This is an off pieced topic, but one
Speaker 2: that I'd love for you to answer. I'm a writer,
Speaker 2: mainly TV comedy shows and more recently I turned my
Speaker 2: attention to drama. I'm the same age as you, Chelsea,
Speaker 2: and I want to write a show to perform myself.
Speaker 2: It'll be kind of stand up. But despite my my
Speaker 2: ability around creating a story. I don't really know where
Speaker 2: to start with stand up. Do I just go to
Speaker 2: a comedy club and watch and learn? Do I just
Speaker 2: get up? My TV writing centers on complicated female dynamics,
Speaker 2: and I'd love to expand on that. I'm not exactly
Speaker 2: shy and retiring, but I've never done anything near stand up.
Speaker 2: So I'd love your advice as I love your comedy
Speaker 2: and the way you present yourself in the world. I'm
Speaker 2: also super impressed slash envious by how you vacation, the people,
Speaker 2: the locations, the edibles. Anyway, thank you, Anne, Marie, Oh
Speaker 2: and Marie.
Speaker 3: Well, that's easy ots go. Don't you think you got
Speaker 3: to get up on stage? First of all, you have
Speaker 3: to just get up on stage, and you don't have
Speaker 3: to have a huge plan. You have to have like
Speaker 3: five minutes of an idea, like you if you have
Speaker 3: like three or four premises. I mean, some people beat
Speaker 3: out every single joke that they're going to tell, and
Speaker 3: your storytelling will evolve once you start getting comfortable being
Speaker 3: on stage. So I wouldn't worry about getting into the
Speaker 3: story so much as I would be as just getting
Speaker 3: staged high in front of people and exercising that muscle.
Speaker 4: Have a couple of.
Speaker 3: Jokes, but they don't have to be like, you don't
Speaker 3: have to have fifteen jokes set up. You can take
Speaker 3: your time, like connecting with the audience, doing crowd work,
Speaker 3: asking questions, because that could spur something in you, and
Speaker 3: that could spur a joke. You know, It's very easy
Speaker 3: to talk to people and then get a new idea
Speaker 3: about how to come back with something.
Speaker 4: But the most important thing is to get on stage.
Speaker 3: Just get on stage and start getting your stage time prepare. Like,
Speaker 3: look at this, I just got a text. My phone
Speaker 3: just lit up, Yaminika Saunders. I swear, I swear I
Speaker 3: watched this. This is off topic, but I want to
Speaker 3: talk about it. I swear when you talk about people
Speaker 3: that the texts are being held in the iCloud and
Speaker 3: then they come through when your phone here is that name,
Speaker 3: because your phone wants you on your phone as much
Speaker 3: as possible, so that some of these texts are just
Speaker 3: waiting and waiting and waiting, and then when you say
Speaker 3: their name, they come up. I saw this in a
Speaker 3: movie and I didn't believe it. I'm like, there's no
Speaker 3: way they're holding the text, But I believe they are
Speaker 3: and today is proof.
Speaker 5: So yeah, I swear that's the real science.
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't you think as go don't you think you
Speaker 3: just have to get on stage, Like what was your
Speaker 3: first time on stage?
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, for sure, getting on stage, but also watching
Speaker 5: a lot of it is nice, so like, you know,
Speaker 5: go go catch Chelsea when she's in London. You know,
Speaker 5: like watching other people and then just the way they
Speaker 5: storytell is very inspiring, you know, especially if you feel
Speaker 5: like stuck right because then you know, just to see
Speaker 5: someone else and how they structured together a bunch of
Speaker 5: their stories or what they found interesting about their stories
Speaker 5: to make it to punch line, that's really helpful. And
Speaker 5: then going on stage, you know, because just consuming other artists,
Speaker 5: I think so good, even if it's like in the
Speaker 5: back of your head and you're like, oh, I don't
Speaker 5: know where I learned to realize the cut sounds funny
Speaker 5: or whatever. Oh, it's because I saw, you know, that
Speaker 5: comedian do it on stage and that made me laugh.
Speaker 5: I took a stand up class, so that was how
Speaker 5: I got up on stage for the first time. So
Speaker 5: that's a little bit of a different journey.
Speaker 3: I feel like, but you should map out what you're
Speaker 3: gonna say, you know, you should map out and have
Speaker 3: an idea if you're one of those people who needs
Speaker 3: like and you can take it on stage with you. You
Speaker 3: can take a piece of paper up there, don't be
Speaker 3: shy about that to look and see. You know, sometimes
Speaker 3: with all that adrenaline you can kind of forget a
Speaker 3: couple of things that you want to say, but have
Speaker 3: a plan of what you're gonna do when you get
Speaker 3: up there, and it can be a story, it can
Speaker 3: be jokes, but like just start to just use that
Speaker 3: as a way to get comfortable on stage so that
Speaker 3: then when you have longer periods of time to be
Speaker 3: on stage, that's where the storytelling can come in. But
Speaker 3: I would treat the initial time as just like an introduction,
Speaker 3: you know, to stand up and to have a couple
Speaker 3: of good jokes that you're willing to tell and try
Speaker 3: and do some crowd work, because some people don't even
Speaker 3: know they're good at crowd work, and so they do
Speaker 3: it for the first time and then it's great. If
Speaker 3: you're scared of it, then try it once and see
Speaker 3: if you like it. You might not be scared of it,
Speaker 3: but definitely just put the hours in you know you
Speaker 3: need the hours to get comfortable with something right.
Speaker 1: Well, our next question comes from Alex. She is calling in.
Speaker 2: She's thirty three, so the subject line is tips to
Speaker 2: avoid identity crisis after quitting your dream job. Hey, Chelsea,
Speaker 2: I took a gummy before writing this, so bear with me.
Speaker 2: I was an annoying overachiever my whole life. Double major
Speaker 2: in college, graduated cum laudie while working the whole time,
Speaker 2: straight to law school, graduated with honors, passed the bar
Speaker 2: exam first time, and got hired at what I thought
Speaker 2: was my dream job at twenty five.
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah, gross.
Speaker 2: I have wanted to be a public defender since the
Speaker 2: moment I found out the job existed, and I started
Speaker 2: interning at my local public defender's office when I was nineteen.
Speaker 2: Everything I know and love came from this office. I
Speaker 2: met my husband here, many of my closest friends. I
Speaker 2: got my insane rescue dog from one of our unhoused clients, etc.
Speaker 5: Etc.
Speaker 2: However, these last two years and full time mental health rotation,
Speaker 2: I'll spare you the details unless you're truly thirsty. Reached
Speaker 2: critical mass, extreme burnout. I was a pin prick away
Speaker 2: from sobbing or screaming in your face at any time
Speaker 2: I was so emotionally exhausted. After lots of overthinking, doubting,
Speaker 2: self hatred over the last several months, I finally made
Speaker 2: the brave, correct decision and quit. I'm thirty three and unemployed.
Speaker 2: My heart rate spiked just typing that out. But I'm
Speaker 2: calling it a sabbatical to avoid a few panic attacks
Speaker 2: if I can. My therapist and I agreed, I'm taking
Speaker 2: three months off. The first month to truly rest, the
Speaker 2: next month to get the juices flowing for what the
Speaker 2: next chapter will look like, and the third month to
Speaker 2: execute on those ideas. I'm very confident in the decision
Speaker 2: I made, but shitting bricks over the next chapter. How
Speaker 2: do I handle these next three months as I figure
Speaker 2: out the direction I'm going to go? Because when I
Speaker 2: was twenty five, I thought this was my endgame. And
Speaker 2: I know that sounds naivestits, but I believe that to
Speaker 2: my bones it was my identity. How do I best
Speaker 2: spend this time disentangling from the job, the job, from
Speaker 2: my identity and being okay with it signed while trying
Speaker 2: not to increase my SSRI dosage.
Speaker 3: Alex Oh, Alex, you're fucking crushing it. First of all,
Speaker 3: what are you talking about. You may have all these
Speaker 3: great decisions for your own mental health. You got out
Speaker 3: of a job that you thought was your dream job
Speaker 3: that proved to be mentally debilitating to you and mentally
Speaker 3: harmful to your health.
Speaker 4: Like that is amazing.
Speaker 3: Now you have a whole and you're thirty three, you
Speaker 3: have your whole life ahead of you to do phase two.
Speaker 3: Like you're an example to so many people that are
Speaker 3: in jobs that they hate to actually walk away.
Speaker 4: I think you're already on the right track.
Speaker 3: Everything you said is great, Like, of course there's gonna
Speaker 3: be some anxiety about what you're gonna do next, but
Speaker 3: you should also trust in the fact that you just
Speaker 3: got yourself out of a situation that was harmful to you.
Speaker 3: So you are the best person to take care of yourself,
Speaker 3: which means you're gonna get to the place that you're
Speaker 3: going and you're going to figure out what that next
Speaker 3: step is in a natural amount of time. You're giving
Speaker 3: yourself a month to do this, a month to do that.
Speaker 3: These are all amazing things, Like you don't even need
Speaker 3: any advice from me, Hotsco.
Speaker 4: You could probably give Osco summed, do you need advice?
Speaker 5: Help me out?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I'm like, I have to keep this bowl cup forever.
Speaker 5: Speaking of an identity crisis, I'm like, can I ever
Speaker 5: grow my hair out ever? Again? What happens if I
Speaker 5: lose my hairstylist friend? You know, to other clients, what
Speaker 5: am I going to do?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 5: But for real you it's it's kind of like a divorce.
Speaker 5: Whenever someone's reached a point of having to do that,
Speaker 5: it's because it needed to be done. Yeah, and so
Speaker 5: this realization is badass. I would just say, like, I
Speaker 5: would just say, clock the moments of joy that you
Speaker 5: feel when you're trying different things and different and then
Speaker 5: you go okay, So that's a that's what I like.
Speaker 5: It's good to start to realize what you do like
Speaker 5: now you know. And so that's all because you knew
Speaker 5: what you didn't like. Yeah, so that's I guess.
Speaker 7: It's it's also knowing how much rest is like too
Speaker 7: much rest. I've never rested in my life. My parents
Speaker 7: are immigrants. Let's go a huge fan. I know you
Speaker 7: can relate to this. Productivity is beaten into your head
Speaker 7: with a bat. So the idea of not doing any
Speaker 7: thing because I have to and there's an expectation on
Speaker 7: the other side. But just resting is a very foreign concept.
Speaker 7: So I guess balancing what is rest and healing versus
Speaker 7: what is productive steps to be taking because I still
Speaker 7: have to work at some point, Like I'm only thirty three,
Speaker 7: Guys still have to actually make money.
Speaker 6: Have you guys taken time like this before in your lives?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 5: I have.
Speaker 4: I have all the time.
Speaker 3: I look at that rest as like filling up my bank,
Speaker 3: do you know what I mean? Like my emotional well being,
Speaker 3: Like I have burnt out so many times in my life,
Speaker 3: and now I understand the balance, Like I understand that
Speaker 3: the rest is as important as the work. The play
Speaker 3: and the vacation is as important as the work. And
Speaker 3: so just because you're not doing anything for a month,
Speaker 3: like yeah, if you're not doing anything for six months,
Speaker 3: that's a different story. If you say, Okay, I'm assigning
Speaker 3: this month to resting and decompressing so that I can
Speaker 3: get focused and get re energized. And you know, get
Speaker 3: I almost said get fucked. Maybe you need to get
Speaker 3: fucked too. But all of these things, like fill yourself
Speaker 3: up with all of the stuff that you're are going
Speaker 3: to need to get you to that next phase, which
Speaker 3: is going to be a more productive phase of actually
Speaker 3: thinking about where you want to go in your career,
Speaker 3: what the next steps are. I think you're completely healthy
Speaker 3: and you know what you're doing. You're breaking a cycle.
Speaker 3: You're talking about your parents coming to this country and
Speaker 3: this work ethic, which is of course immigrants have. You know,
Speaker 3: you come to America and you want to be successful,
Speaker 3: so you can't really blame people for doing that. But
Speaker 3: you don't need to be working all the time. You
Speaker 3: need to be like mentally healthy and then your work
Speaker 3: can be joyful. You know, you want to be able
Speaker 3: to put everything positive into your work. So I totally
Speaker 3: think everything.
Speaker 4: You're doing is just spot on.
Speaker 2: Thanks Alex, Can I ask what are some of the
Speaker 2: things that you're doing in this period of active rest,
Speaker 2: Like are you going outside?
Speaker 1: Are you meditate? Like what sort of in your day
Speaker 1: to day?
Speaker 7: So it's actually really funny. So I walk the dog
Speaker 7: more than he's everyone walked in his entire life. I
Speaker 7: am reading all of the nerdy, romanticy books that I've
Speaker 7: never had time to read before and making no apologies
Speaker 7: for it. Like my husband comes home, and I've been
Speaker 7: on the CA for eight and a half hours, and
Speaker 7: I'm very I'm journaling and taking a lot of gummies
Speaker 7: because it helps me med it like it helps you
Speaker 7: be creative, and.
Speaker 5: I'm with you.
Speaker 6: So I'm journaling a lot.
Speaker 7: And there's a huge scary part of me that realizes
Speaker 7: that maybe I don't even want to be a lawyer,
Speaker 7: which is a bummer because I spent so much time
Speaker 7: and energy and money towards this education and I feel
Speaker 7: like I gained the skill set of not having any
Speaker 7: fear of public speaking, not being afraid of grumpy old
Speaker 7: white men yelling at me because they did that every
Speaker 7: day in a robe like that doesn't scare me in
Speaker 7: any field.
Speaker 6: And I really like to write.
Speaker 7: So there's a huge part of me that wants to
Speaker 7: take a risk, even in that direction and something that's
Speaker 7: not adjacent to my education at all.
Speaker 2: Well, and as a person who like everyone in my
Speaker 2: family is a lawyer except for me, I can say, like,
Speaker 2: there are a lot of ways to use your law
Speaker 2: degree that like do not involve going to court, that
Speaker 2: don't involve sort of like a traditional sort of like
Speaker 2: legal profession as we think about it, but also like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you have the freedom now to like reconsider. Maybe you
Speaker 2: use it again in fifteen years when you want to
Speaker 2: do something different.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 2: It's you know, it doesn't mean that that's a wasted experience.
Speaker 2: And like you said, you've gained all these other tools
Speaker 2: in your toolbox.
Speaker 3: My sister was an attorney, hated it, hated working for
Speaker 3: a law firm, quit that and got a job for
Speaker 3: this health company where she was writing.
Speaker 4: She was as a lawyer writing all.
Speaker 3: Of like the healthcare laws, like helping to create the
Speaker 3: healthcare laws around it. So she kind of switched because
Speaker 3: she was like I hate this, I hate defending people,
Speaker 3: I hate like this kind of litigation aspect. She's like,
Speaker 3: I'm going to take this healthcare degree and turn it
Speaker 3: into something else where she can use her other skill sets,
Speaker 3: which is writing and editing and all of that stuff.
Speaker 3: So she's kind of made a different career out of
Speaker 3: being a healthcare attorney. And you can do the same thing.
Speaker 3: You just have to find out what drives you and
Speaker 3: what moves you, and and your degree is going to
Speaker 3: help you in many ways. Yes, I mean you just
Speaker 3: listed a bunch of them, so like you should be
Speaker 3: doing a podcast where you're giving advice to people.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're so mucky. Maybe that's your next marriage.
Speaker 7: Maybe that's yeah, the landmark of the overconfident only daughter.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, right, dear Alex, there's no reason.
Speaker 5: Yeah, leave it to Chelsea to try to put you
Speaker 5: back to work. She just said she needed rest. Chelsea. Okay,
Speaker 5: she's like, oh, you start a podcast, come up with merch.
Speaker 5: I love it.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much.
Speaker 4: Thank I take care, Alex, thank you, I'll take care.
Speaker 4: Well that was fucking easy. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I know that girl was already doing everything that she
Speaker 3: needed to be told.
Speaker 5: I do.
Speaker 1: She's doing great.
Speaker 2: And you know, we don't think of like taking these
Speaker 2: periods of rest as like rest is part of the work,
Speaker 2: like you said, Chelsea, Like, we don't think of it
Speaker 2: that way, but I think it's important to think of
Speaker 2: it that way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, I do. I'm a big proponent of that.
Speaker 3: I mean, how do you feel about that? Ots go,
Speaker 3: do you guys get do you guys get rest? Do
Speaker 3: you actually rest?
Speaker 5: You said you found the balance of work and play.
Speaker 5: I'm still finding that. But I think it's because if
Speaker 5: you're really into work and you're as fraid to like
Speaker 5: rest too long. You can totally schedule it in. You
Speaker 5: can put it in a calendar, you know what I mean,
Speaker 5: so that you know, oh, this week is for play
Speaker 5: and then next week is for work. So if you
Speaker 5: feel anxiety about playing too hard, then you can do that,
Speaker 5: you know, just like I think you can schedule in
Speaker 5: six I'm a big, you.
Speaker 3: Know, scheduler of sex. I actually scheduled the sex between
Speaker 3: you and Ryan. I don't know if you knew that,
Speaker 3: but I actually am the one that puts that on
Speaker 3: your calendar.
Speaker 1: It's in Chelsea for seven years.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no wonder. I was like, wow, it's very frequent
Speaker 5: this month for some reason.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I decided to step things up this month. Specifically,
Speaker 3: I said, we need to work.
Speaker 5: Who's making us do it from eight am to eight pm? Yours?
Speaker 4: Surely?
Speaker 5: Thank you well.
Speaker 2: Our next color is Sarah. She's as dear Chelsea. I've
Speaker 2: been in my husband's family for almost fifteen years and
Speaker 2: recently had a falling out with my sister in law,
Speaker 2: my husband's brother's wife. She's been icing me out ever
Speaker 2: since I found out. She had the whole family over
Speaker 2: for our niece's birthday and my husband and I I
Speaker 2: were not invited. In her words, it wasn't a quote
Speaker 2: party but a quote drop by with cake and gifts.
Speaker 2: I can accept this, but the problem is now my
Speaker 2: sister in law will not speak to me at family
Speaker 2: events or text me back ever since I expressed my
Speaker 2: hurt at not being invited. My biggest concern is she's
Speaker 2: the aunt to my two children and continues to fawn
Speaker 2: over them while ignoring me at family events. I was
Speaker 2: in her wedding, yet I feel as though I'm being
Speaker 2: treated as a complete stranger. I've kept my side of
Speaker 2: the street clean by reaching out to her, and she
Speaker 2: continues to talk to members of my husband's family, but
Speaker 2: not directly to me about what she's upset about. I
Speaker 2: need a real bitch's advice on how to move forward
Speaker 2: from this. Do I humble myself and try to discuss
Speaker 2: the miscommunication again or does act like nothing happened. We've
Speaker 2: been closed for eight years, so this is quite the
Speaker 2: proverbial slap in the face.
Speaker 5: Help.
Speaker 3: Sarah, Hi Sarah Oh, Hi Hi otsco Okotska's our special
Speaker 3: guest today.
Speaker 4: Hello, Hi, Hi, So what was the falling out? What happened?
Speaker 6: So the actual falling out was like, it was her
Speaker 6: daughter's birthday, and we had been texting like that morning.
Speaker 6: I had given her a gift earlier on in the week,
Speaker 6: like to give to her daughter, because I knew I
Speaker 6: wasn't going to see her on her birthday, because she
Speaker 6: was like, you know, well we're going out of town
Speaker 6: and all this stuff. So then the morning of her birthday,
Speaker 6: she actually sent me like, I sent her a video
Speaker 6: from my daughter who's her cousin, saying, you know, happy birthday,
Speaker 6: hope you have a great day. And then she sent
Speaker 6: a video back of like the whole family singing happy
Speaker 6: birthday to her daughter. There was a cake, you know,
Speaker 6: there were the president, the president I had given her
Speaker 6: like earlier that week, and they were all like singing,
Speaker 6: and I was like, so everyone was invited. So I
Speaker 6: responded and I said.
Speaker 3: Wait a second, I'm sorry, hold on back up. You
Speaker 3: gave her a gift because you weren't going to be
Speaker 3: able to see her on her birthday exactly, and then
Speaker 3: she had a birthday party on her birthday.
Speaker 6: Yes, But when I said that, my feelings were hurt
Speaker 6: because we lived three minutes away, literally right up the road.
Speaker 3: But how did you know you weren't going to see
Speaker 3: her on your birthday, her birthday.
Speaker 6: Because she said that they were going out of town,
Speaker 6: like she her and you know, her daughter and her
Speaker 6: husband were going out of town, and she was like, well,
Speaker 6: we're just going on our trip, you know, for our
Speaker 6: daughter's birthday. So you know, thanks for giving me the gift, now,
Speaker 6: you know. And so I felt like it was kind
Speaker 6: of omitted. But so then when I expressed that, I
Speaker 6: was like her, you know, by not being invited because
Speaker 6: she sent me that video. So I was like, this
Speaker 6: is kind of like really strange, right, I said, you know,
Speaker 6: I'm hurt that, like, you know, we weren't invited because
Speaker 6: we lived right up the road. And then she didn't
Speaker 6: talk to me after that.
Speaker 4: All that was the falling out. That there was no
Speaker 4: prior falling out. Oh yes, that's confusing.
Speaker 6: Isn't a falling out? Like what is it? No?
Speaker 3: I I would the way I listened to your letter,
Speaker 3: I thought I heard that you guys had a falling out,
Speaker 3: and then this was like the aftermath of the falling out.
Speaker 4: So this is the actual incident.
Speaker 3: What does your husband does any one in the family,
Speaker 3: has anyone conveyed to you what the issue is or
Speaker 3: why she didn't invite.
Speaker 6: You or no, I was never really given a conversation
Speaker 6: because she just didn't talk to me after that. So
Speaker 6: it was in a message with her and her husband,
Speaker 6: and he did say right away, he was like, oh, sorry,
Speaker 6: we didn't mean to exclude you, but she was like
Speaker 6: radio silent. So I was like, was it something else
Speaker 6: that happened.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like something else happened that you're not
Speaker 3: aware of. So I would reach out to her again,
Speaker 3: first of all, your family members, so like, it's not
Speaker 3: really helpful to not be speaking, especially when you don't
Speaker 3: know what happened. So maybe you did something that you
Speaker 3: don't realize that hurt her feelings.
Speaker 4: And I would start with that.
Speaker 3: I would send her a text or an email or
Speaker 3: whatever's like the best way to contact her and just
Speaker 3: say I'm sorry, so sorry. I don't know did I
Speaker 3: do something to hurt you, because it feels like I did,
Speaker 3: and I want to make sure that I'm fully accountable,
Speaker 3: like totally, just be the bigger person and ask her
Speaker 3: why she's upset with you, Like you're not responding to
Speaker 3: my text.
Speaker 4: We've been friends for eight years. This is very strange.
Speaker 3: Please feel free to tell me if I've done something
Speaker 3: to hurt your feelings.
Speaker 6: Yeah, hands down, like good old fashioned communication.
Speaker 3: Right, absolutely, You're part of the same family, so as
Speaker 3: long as there's not some huge rift like this should
Speaker 3: be fixable, right.
Speaker 6: I totally agree, Oh fantastic, you're the best.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean it's pretty obvious advice, no offense.
Speaker 6: Freaking obvious. But you know what it's been creating, like
Speaker 6: just so much awkwardness, you know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, right.
Speaker 6: It tends like we have a lot of family events,
Speaker 6: you know, together we all close, and then like, you know,
Speaker 6: I'll go to these events and like recently she started
Speaker 6: kind of being like hey, you know, like maybe that's
Speaker 6: her way of trying to get a little closer. But
Speaker 6: then she still will not text. And this is like
Speaker 6: going from us texting multiple times a week. You know,
Speaker 6: our kids are going to the same daycare, like going
Speaker 6: to exercise classes together too, you know. Now she'll talk
Speaker 6: to me at the events every now and again, like
Speaker 6: she'll be like oh hey, like at least a high
Speaker 6: but still like no text, no personal contact. So I'm like,
Speaker 6: I wonder if she's trying to just like show face
Speaker 6: for like the in laws and stuff.
Speaker 2: I wonder if this is a like to pull her
Speaker 2: aside at one of the family events sort of thing
Speaker 2: and like get her face to face, because I feel
Speaker 2: like sometimes when people are being weird like this, if
Speaker 2: you actually just like address it to their face, they'll
Speaker 2: like totally back down like oh no, no, there's like
Speaker 2: nothing weird, and then it's like, well, they do sort
Speaker 2: of have to stick to their guns a little bit more,
Speaker 2: Whereas via text, like she might give you like a
Speaker 2: one word like I'm fine, everything's fine or whatever, and
Speaker 2: then continue to be a weirdo s.
Speaker 6: Right, like humanize myself a little bit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I would say that's right.
Speaker 3: I would say to do it in person so that
Speaker 3: she can't just not respond, because then it's just more
Speaker 3: of the same. It's so weird to not respond, but
Speaker 3: something must have happened that you're not aware of.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you're right, you know. And I'm like I've been
Speaker 6: overthinking it going through it, like I'm like, what could
Speaker 6: this possibly be? You know. I thought of addressing it
Speaker 6: with my mother in law myself, because she's one of
Speaker 6: the people that she's been talking to, you know, like
Speaker 6: about my mother in law is super cool, like she
Speaker 6: I know that you'd be open to a conversation, but
Speaker 6: I don't want to open it up to that, you know,
Speaker 6: Like I thought I was being the better person initially
Speaker 6: by not doing that. Like I was like, this is
Speaker 6: between her and I, like, let's just knock it out.
Speaker 6: But I think an in person conversation would have been better.
Speaker 6: I just thought maybe she needed space, Like I didn't know,
Speaker 6: really you know, how to approach it, because this has
Speaker 6: never happened to me before, especially in my tight knit group.
Speaker 6: You know, your rider dies, right, so this is like
Speaker 6: totally crazy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say, like, yeah, tug to her in person.
Speaker 2: If she's still it's sort of like then she has
Speaker 2: to either commit to like no, everything's fine, or like
Speaker 2: if she keeps acting weird after that, then you got
Speaker 2: to address it again and be like, all right, what's
Speaker 2: the deeper thing here?
Speaker 1: Is there anything? And then if she.
Speaker 2: Keeps being weird, just I guess just let her be
Speaker 2: kind of weird, you know, like you don't necessarily have
Speaker 2: to be talking to her the entire time of family
Speaker 2: events sort of thing, but just know that, you know,
Speaker 2: you're still keeping your side of the street clean.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, because if you ask her what's up,
Speaker 3: and she hasn't and she's like there's nothing, nothing wrong.
Speaker 3: Then you're like, okay, fine, I tried whatever, Like I
Speaker 3: don't know what to do with you. I don't know
Speaker 3: what happened. You're not going to tell me the truth,
Speaker 3: and there's nothing else you could do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and hopefully she will change her tune, you know, I.
Speaker 6: Hope so, I mean, because yeah, I feel like I've
Speaker 6: always been a good friend. Like I did like a
Speaker 6: speech at her wedding because her like sister didn't want
Speaker 6: to do it, stuff like that, whatever, But there hasn't
Speaker 6: been anything I can think of that was just like, oh,
Speaker 6: I really like pissed her off.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 6: It was like just I feel maybe she I don't know,
Speaker 6: I've like been going around like you're pulling back for
Speaker 6: a while, like.
Speaker 3: They hit it straight on, and then you know, if
Speaker 3: you don't get the answer, you like, then wait a
Speaker 3: little bit and then talk to her mother, your mother
Speaker 3: in law, and be like listen, I don't know what's
Speaker 3: going on here, but this isn't like a healthy dynamic,
Speaker 3: like we all have kids. I want to be friends.
Speaker 3: I don't understand what happened. I asked her what happened.
Speaker 3: She won't tell me, So how can I you know
Speaker 3: what I mean, but start with her and just be
Speaker 3: be direct so that she has to answer.
Speaker 6: You totally and like, and I'm okay with not being
Speaker 6: like bestie sister in law's too. We've been friends for
Speaker 6: a long time. But I'm like, it's all right if
Speaker 6: if that's what it's going to be, you know, us
Speaker 6: just seeing each other at the family events.
Speaker 4: It's just there was no I.
Speaker 6: Guess that would be a weird conversation for her to
Speaker 6: have with me, to be like, hey, I don't want
Speaker 6: to be as close as we are, you know, like, but.
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe that is it, But that seems a little odd.
Speaker 6: Weird way to go about it, right.
Speaker 2: Will you check in with us after you guys have
Speaker 2: a conversation, let us know if things get better?
Speaker 4: Absolutely right, Okay, Well, good luck, thanks Sarah.
Speaker 6: Good luck, bye bye, Thanks bye, let's go.
Speaker 3: You don't have a sister in law, right, de Ryan
Speaker 3: doesn't have siblings, or does he?
Speaker 5: He does? He has too. Yeah, and so that's still
Speaker 5: a newer dynamic for me too to learn, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 5: because it's like they are relatives, but they kind of
Speaker 5: are not, you know, and so it's like how much.
Speaker 4: Well they are your relatives cots go. First of all, they.
Speaker 5: Are I know, they're like listening, They're like, excuse me,
Speaker 5: what are we? And I'm like, are you friends?
Speaker 1: Now you're gonna be fighting with your sisters?
Speaker 3: Ima.
Speaker 5: I had a small family growing up, so I'm like, okay,
Speaker 5: I guess it's new. I'm still learning this chosen family
Speaker 5: versus regular family thing, you know, because I married Ryan
Speaker 5: and then suddenly I'm an aunt too, right, So that's
Speaker 5: a lot to figure out. It's like, whoa, maybe I'm
Speaker 5: not good at being an aunt and I'm okay, I'm
Speaker 5: not great.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know what, you can always improve on
Speaker 4: your aunting skills.
Speaker 3: It's a new role. So you know, like I don't know,
Speaker 3: being an ant is kind of the best of both worlds.
Speaker 3: You get to be an aunt and with no responsibility, you.
Speaker 4: Know what I mean.
Speaker 3: You get to just be like a fun infuser, which
Speaker 3: is I take Yeah, I take a lot of joy
Speaker 3: in that, and especially I take a lot of joy
Speaker 3: when things get serious. It's like get the fuck out
Speaker 3: of here, you know, Like, if you've got real problems,
Speaker 3: go talk to your parents.
Speaker 5: No it's true. I know you love it. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 5: just I'm always trying. I'm still not completely me around them.
Speaker 5: I think when I can I see yeah, yeah, because
Speaker 5: I'm like still getting to know the sister in laws.
Speaker 5: So I'm I'm like, yes, you know, I will not
Speaker 5: curse around you, and yes, I you know I will
Speaker 5: give you money. And I'm like, god, I'm going, oh.
Speaker 3: A great setup. I won't curse around you and I
Speaker 3: have to pay you perfect.
Speaker 5: Oh my god. Yeah, I'm like, what am I in
Speaker 5: a church?
Speaker 2: Maybe you should start swearing and then you can put
Speaker 2: money in a tip jar or in a zag.
Speaker 4: Every time you swear, you get to give them a dollar.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right
Speaker 4: back with Otsco.
Speaker 3: And we're back with Otsko Okotska, who's got a new
Speaker 3: special out on Disney and Hulu. You can watch it
Speaker 3: on Hulu and Disney Plus. It is called Father and
Speaker 3: it is her sophomore special. Okay, what else do we got?
Speaker 3: What do we have to wrap things up today?
Speaker 2: I have one quickie to wrap up with, Abby, says
Speaker 2: dear Chelsea. I have a close friend that has recently
Speaker 2: started sending me voice recordings of her singing.
Speaker 1: Oh, she sings, she sings.
Speaker 2: Beautifully, but her boyfriend doesn't really care to hear her sing.
Speaker 2: So I think I'm the only one getting these, which
Speaker 2: makes me sad. I don't ever listen to them and
Speaker 2: their entire sometimes not at all. How do I respond
Speaker 2: in a text to the constant voice recording messages? Or
Speaker 2: should I even respond?
Speaker 1: Abby?
Speaker 5: Wow?
Speaker 4: Yeah wow.
Speaker 5: This is a very specific, very specific, very specific incident
Speaker 5: and very specific.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it is like text etiquette, it's evolving, well etiquette.
Speaker 3: I mean the etiquette is blown out the window by
Speaker 3: the person recording songs and sending them to.
Speaker 4: Her fucking friend. Who does that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I guess somebody who has a boyfriend
Speaker 3: that won't listen to her singing, which is another problem
Speaker 3: that she has.
Speaker 4: I would just.
Speaker 3: Write, honestly, I would write beautiful a couple of times
Speaker 3: and then I would stop responding.
Speaker 4: That's what I would do. But I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean, you want to give your friend some positive
Speaker 3: feedback because she clearly isn't getting it at home, and
Speaker 3: if she is a beautiful singer, and you're not telling
Speaker 3: a lie even if it was bad singing.
Speaker 4: I would write, that's beautiful.
Speaker 3: And then I would write that a couple times, I
Speaker 3: would write the same thing exactly like that's beautiful, and
Speaker 3: then the next time, that's beautiful, and then I stop
Speaker 3: responding Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah. It's kind of like when a kid is showing
Speaker 5: you a rock over and over. Yeah that's and you're like,
Speaker 5: that's really good, that's so good. And then they're like,
Speaker 5: here's a song that's really cute too, that's so good.
Speaker 5: And then and then you know, if you exactly like
Speaker 5: you know, it's a positive reinforcement thing. Once they stop
Speaker 5: hearing it, they go, Okay, I've had my feel of
Speaker 5: feeling good.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I mean I get emails.
Speaker 3: I have a friend who is like, just keep sending
Speaker 3: me emails and she wants like our relationship ended a
Speaker 3: long time ago, and she's trying to rekindle our relationship
Speaker 3: and I'm not interested, but I'm not. I don't want
Speaker 3: to be mean. I'm just seriously like, I'm not interested
Speaker 3: in rekindling. Like it's I don't have the bandwidth where
Speaker 3: let's move on. So I wrote back the first time,
Speaker 3: like this is very sweet. I want nothing but the
Speaker 3: best for you. I'm sending you so much love. I
Speaker 3: really don't have any space in my life right now
Speaker 3: to recar to our friendship. I don't mean that as
Speaker 3: an affront to you. I don't hold any ill will
Speaker 3: towards you, but that's how I feel. And I'm you know,
Speaker 3: I'm pretty busy, So let's just move on in our
Speaker 3: separate ways and let go. Then I get another email.
Speaker 3: Then I get a fourth email. I got four emails,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, she's trying to basically harass me into
Speaker 3: rekindling our friendship. And now I have to be like,
Speaker 3: so I stopped responding, you know, but if I get
Speaker 3: another one, I'm gonna be like, you're now you're harassing me,
Speaker 3: Like I set.
Speaker 4: A boundary that you're not like. You know, this isn't now.
Speaker 4: This isn't the same as getting a voice memo of
Speaker 4: a song.
Speaker 5: But either way, they're both attacks. Okay, either way, they're
Speaker 5: both attacks. And you were trapped and you didn't ask
Speaker 5: for it.
Speaker 4: It's an assault. It's an assault.
Speaker 5: We all deserve our own boundaries. You know, her boyfriend
Speaker 5: created one with that with her, and now you might
Speaker 5: need two with her too.
Speaker 2: I had a friend years ago who would like, actually
Speaker 2: do this in person, she'd be like, oh, new song
Speaker 2: for my album, and she would be like, let me
Speaker 2: just play as a little snippet, and then she would
Speaker 2: play it, but she'd play the whole song and then
Speaker 2: sing it like a foot from my face to my face.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, too much of a people pleaser to
Speaker 2: just like, go away, but just be grateful.
Speaker 1: This is a voice memo, and you can.
Speaker 5: Tell her to post it online. That's validation she can
Speaker 5: get from somewhere.
Speaker 4: To go beautiful post. You should post this on Instagram.
Speaker 3: You should post this that's great and brilliant, brilliant, and
Speaker 3: hopefully the response is positive, because otherwise you're going to
Speaker 3: be dealing with a different friend after.
Speaker 4: She gets some public public shaming critique.
Speaker 3: I've hooked up with a couple of guys that are
Speaker 3: in the industry, and when I've hooked up with them,
Speaker 3: I've had one guy show me his pilot, an episode
Speaker 3: of a pilot that he shot from start to finish,
Speaker 3: and this was before we were supposed to have sex.
Speaker 3: Of course, I couldn't have sex with him after because
Speaker 3: I don't want to see your pilot. And then I
Speaker 3: had another guy show me a sizzle reel from a
Speaker 3: movie that he was producing, and I was like, you're
Speaker 3: killing my boner, Like I don't know why people don't
Speaker 3: and understand that. That's like me inviting people over and
Speaker 3: saying watch my stand up special, or Otsco inviting people
Speaker 3: over and being like, hey, not even inviting them to
Speaker 3: watch a special, saying hey, do you want to hear
Speaker 3: some jokes from my special? It's like if they did,
Speaker 3: they'd fucking come see you perform. It's just all so
Speaker 3: like it's so unself aware, like nobody wants to do that.
Speaker 3: It's like taking videos. I can compare it to when
Speaker 3: I'm in Whistler. I take videos for like when I'm
Speaker 3: skiing with the kids. They want videos all the time
Speaker 3: of them they're gonna jump off this or they're gonna
Speaker 3: go in the park and they're gonna ride this rail.
Speaker 3: And I don't fucking have time for that shit. I'm
Speaker 3: not here to take videos of children. If I wanted
Speaker 3: to take videos of children, I would have had children.
Speaker 4: You know what I mean, I don't. I'm not the one.
Speaker 5: You go, here's a GoPro. What's beautiful is it captures
Speaker 5: your actions while you move without someone else doing it.
Speaker 5: You know, it's these things. Guy. I had a guy
Speaker 5: read me poetry before sex too, and I told him
Speaker 5: to say I said, that was good, that was beautiful,
Speaker 5: that same thing you told her to do. And afterwards
Speaker 5: he goes, thank you. I'm either thinking of being a
Speaker 5: poet that travels around the world or be a cop.
Speaker 5: I said, those are two very different things, sweetie. And
Speaker 5: by then it was like an hour in you know,
Speaker 5: so exactly. It's like respect, I came here for you.
Speaker 5: I'm going to offer you my body.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my body in my choice. And yeah you should.
Speaker 3: Actually, anyone who's on the fence about becoming a poet,
Speaker 3: who's going to travel the world and their other option
Speaker 3: is a cop, you should just have them become a cop.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we need more poetry and police work.
Speaker 5: Yes, I agree, Yeah, but I don't know. His poems
Speaker 5: were intense.
Speaker 3: So anyway, Well, first of all, this is the first
Speaker 3: time hearing that you took another lover before you met Ryan.
Speaker 4: And does he know about it? Does Ryan know about it? Ryan?
Speaker 4: Do you know about this?
Speaker 5: You're like, as a good Well, I'll put it in
Speaker 5: the calendar or shared calendar that the three of us share.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to, Yeah, I like that we share
Speaker 3: a calendar, and I want to continue that. I want
Speaker 3: to continue that through twenty twenty at the very least.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just put any thoughts notes in there that you want.
Speaker 3: I have thoughts and notes for all all of us,
Speaker 3: all three of us.
Speaker 4: I'll be the leader of our calendar.
Speaker 5: Yes, please, thank you, mother.
Speaker 4: Thank you daughter. Okay, Otsco love talking to you.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry that this is the way we have to
Speaker 3: catch up now, I mean with our busy travel schedules.
Speaker 4: But I'm going to send you, guys.
Speaker 3: I'm going to send you guys some dates and see
Speaker 3: if you couldn't want to come to Mayorca this summer.
Speaker 4: We'll see what you're doing.
Speaker 3: I'm only going for a week this summer, but I
Speaker 3: have a little fun group of comics, so maybe you
Speaker 3: guys can come.
Speaker 4: I'll send you dates.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okayay, it sounds good.
Speaker 4: Yes, Okay, love you. Congrats on your new special.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen it yet, you guys, because they haven't
Speaker 3: sent it to me, so otherwise I would be waxing
Speaker 3: poetic about how funny it is, because I know it's
Speaker 3: fucking funny because it's Otsco and she's ridiculous, so it's
Speaker 3: called Father and you can watch it on Hulu Disney Plus.
Speaker 5: You're incredible.
Speaker 4: Good Bye, we have a great day. Bye bye. So
Speaker 4: I added a couple of new dates.
Speaker 3: I'm not on tour yet, but I added a couple
Speaker 3: of dates just because I felt like we need a
Speaker 3: little bit more laughter and a little bit.
Speaker 4: More medicine for the end of the year.
Speaker 3: And I was wrapping things up, but I thought, maybe
Speaker 3: let me do a couple more. So I'm adding three
Speaker 3: more dates in addition to my Vegas residency. I'm doing
Speaker 3: Westhampton Beach August twenty first, I'm headlining the Rochester Fringe
Speaker 3: Comedy Festival September thirteenth, and I will be in Napa
Speaker 3: on October third, So those will be my last.
Speaker 4: Dates of the year.
Speaker 1: Do you want advice from Chelsea?
Speaker 2: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
Speaker 2: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea Pod.
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 2: And engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And
Speaker 2: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahanler dot com.