1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 1: Love. Welcome back to another week of Wide Open. I 2 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: am your host, Ashlyn Harris, and I'm so excited today 3 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:22,120 Speaker 1: to introduce our guest, Margaret Show. Who is the powerhouse, trailblazer, 4 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: brutally honest, deeply funny, politically, fearless, you name it, huge advocate. Margaret, 5 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:31,520 Speaker 1: Welcome to the show. How are you? 6 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 2: Thank you? Thank you so much. That's wonderful. 7 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 1: I'm doing great, good good. And I you know, I 8 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: love I love your comedy. I love the rawness, I 9 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: love the realness of it. And you've been doing this 10 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:48,880 Speaker 1: for a very very long time. 11 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 12 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 1: But before I start, I'm curious I like to ask everyone, 13 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: you know, because what this show really is about is 14 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 1: who you are outside of what you do. Because I 15 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: think so much of who we are as public figures, 16 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:07,480 Speaker 1: you see such a small part of it, but you 17 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: really don't know the origin or where it started or 18 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 1: how it started. So before we dive into all the 19 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:17,319 Speaker 1: greatness that you carry throughout your career, I'm curious of 20 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,679 Speaker 1: you know. I know you were born and raised in 21 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: San Francisco. 22 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:23,400 Speaker 2: Correct, that's correct? 23 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 1: Yes, what was it like being little Margaret? Tell me everything? 24 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: Tell the listeners who you were as a kid, and 25 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: how you your becoming of who you are today. 26 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,040 Speaker 3: I think I will I was a super shy child, 27 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 3: and I realize now probably somewhere on the spectrum like 28 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 3: autism of like the neurodivergence because I was really nonverbal 29 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 3: for like a long time. That had a lot to 30 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 3: do with the circumstances of my upbringing. It was very 31 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 3: difficult because when I was born on my got deported 32 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 3: and then I went with him back to Korea, and 33 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 3: then he came back to the United States three years later, 34 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 3: so I was separated from my mother all that time 35 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 3: she was a citizen and staying in the country, and 36 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 3: then he came back and became a citizen. But it 37 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 3: was a very difficult start, so I had language barrier, 38 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:25,160 Speaker 3: but also some kind of difficulty like connecting with people 39 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 3: because I was separated from my mom. I was kind 40 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,080 Speaker 3: of taken away into a different country. So it was 41 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 3: like there's a lot of stuff that made me very 42 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 3: socially awkward, and like when I went to school, I 43 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 3: was socially awkward with kids and I didn't really have 44 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,119 Speaker 3: a lot of friends. It didn't really have a lot 45 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 3: of connections with people, but I was making fun of 46 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 3: people in my head, Like I was making fun of 47 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 3: like anything in my head, and like it would only 48 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 3: come out if I was writing. Like sometimes we'd have 49 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 3: to like write essays in school, and then I would 50 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,480 Speaker 3: write something and then teachers would be like really offended 51 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 3: because I would be really mean about them or like 52 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,520 Speaker 3: other people in the school, like other kids, And so 53 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 3: I got called at the principal's office multiple times for 54 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 3: being disruptive, but only in my writing, and like my 55 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 3: writing my feelings, and that's sort of when like jokes 56 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 3: would start to come out. And so then later when 57 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 3: I was in high school, I got more confidence, and 58 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 3: then I was in theater and I was doing comedy 59 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 3: classes in school, and I went to performing arts kigh school, 60 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 3: so our teacher would sign us up for comedy clubs 61 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 3: at night to do open mics. And this is when 62 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 3: I was like fourteen, that's when I started doing comedy. 63 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 3: So I didn't really have a social life of friends 64 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 3: until I was a teenager and started doing that. But 65 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 3: being a comedian brought me friendship. It brought me connection 66 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 3: with other kids and then other people later on. You know, 67 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 3: it's how I communicate. It's still how I communicate most 68 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 3: my friends or comedians or musicians or people who are 69 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 3: in the arts somehow, you know, Like that's just the 70 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 3: community that I really vibe with and who I connect with. 71 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 3: But that's what it's always been. 72 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: Is there. I mean, I've read so much about you know, 73 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 1: who you were as a child, and you always have 74 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,479 Speaker 1: been very open that you know, you were a Korean 75 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,600 Speaker 1: American born here and you said you were I don't 76 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: want to use the word fat, but you that's the word. 77 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:26,360 Speaker 1: You said, A little overweight, goofy kid. Do you find 78 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:30,279 Speaker 1: that you hid behind your comedy in terms of because 79 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 1: you you did? You have mentioned you were like bullied 80 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: a little bit and those younger like years of primary school, 81 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 1: middle school, high school. Do you think comedy is kind 82 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 1: of that buffer that if I made, if I was 83 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: so funny and I was so likable and I got 84 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: out there before everyone else, I would like kind of 85 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 1: take the eye off of me being the like butt 86 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,120 Speaker 1: of a joke or you just just was natural. 87 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,679 Speaker 3: Well yeah, I mean also it's like a deflection also, 88 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 3: like when you're fat as a kid like I was, 89 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:04,159 Speaker 3: and like and as a teenager like always like my 90 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:07,039 Speaker 3: friends were really pretty girls, like pretty girls like to 91 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 3: have a fat friend because then they can have their 92 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 3: legal representation. 93 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 2: So you become like their weird attorney where guys. 94 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,279 Speaker 3: Will come up and bring their proposals to you so 95 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,799 Speaker 3: they can talk to the pretty girl. 96 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,600 Speaker 2: Like it's very it's so. 97 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 3: This is great weirdly like your sexuality, your desirability, even 98 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 3: if you're a kid, but still like all that is 99 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 3: discounted because of your way. Yeah, you know, and so 100 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 3: I never felt like I could participate in society because 101 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 3: I was larger, and you know, I think that psychologically 102 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 3: that's always had a sort of like effect on me. 103 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 3: You know, my body image has so much to do 104 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 3: with how I felt inside, and so that was hard 105 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 3: to change. 106 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 1: Well, because I can imagine you know, you as a child, 107 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 1: because you're funny as hell, Like, do you ever I'm 108 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:03,040 Speaker 1: so curious, like when did you first realize the world 109 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: actually didn't know what to do with someone like you, 110 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:11,719 Speaker 1: who was this really funny phenom young kid who made 111 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: everyone laugh, who didn't look like you know, these typical 112 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 1: girls next door. Did you know that you were different 113 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 1: and you were moving differently and this is like a 114 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 1: real profession for you to continue performing or were you 115 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 1: just like, I'm young, you know, I'm fearless, I'm kind 116 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: of flying off of the seat of my pants. That 117 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 1: really that stuff doesn't really I'm not thinking like that. 118 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't really know, but I did get a 119 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:44,040 Speaker 3: lot of encouragement, you know, Like I got to work 120 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 3: with Jerry Seinfeld when I was a really young teenager 121 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 3: and he said, you know, you, if you decide to 122 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:54,800 Speaker 3: pursue this, you'll have a very successful career. And that 123 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 3: was such a vote of confidence. You know, it was 124 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,280 Speaker 3: really just a kid, and I didn't know what I 125 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 3: was doing, and he was like, you have a unit perspective, 126 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 3: you have a really unique voice, and you're really talented, 127 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,159 Speaker 3: and you will go far if you want to do 128 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,360 Speaker 3: this with your life. And I was like such a 129 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 3: And he was at that time and still is the 130 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 3: biggest comedian in the world, so you know, and we're 131 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 3: still friends and we're still like he's always encouraging me, which. 132 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 2: Is the best. 133 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 3: So I had a lot of people who were super influential, 134 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 3: people like Rosie O'Donnell, who knew me when I was 135 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 3: a really young kid, who was incredibly encouraging. Yeah, lots 136 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 3: of different people who were very very famous at the time, 137 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 3: like Joan Rivers was incredibly encouraging. So I had a 138 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 3: good amount of people who were very very successful tell 139 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 3: me you were going to do well if you want 140 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 3: to do this, Like they always gave me that choice, 141 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 3: like you're free to do what you want, but if 142 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 3: you do this, you're gonna you're gonna be okay, and 143 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 3: like that's kind of all I needed to hear, was 144 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 3: that kind of confidence because I didn't know have. 145 00:07:58,640 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 2: A clear path. 146 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 3: There was no clear path for me, you know, because 147 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 3: I wasn't going to school. I wasn't going to like 148 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 3: any career that anybody knew how to be in. But 149 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 3: I also did love to do stand up comedy. Like 150 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,679 Speaker 3: I loved that I didn't have to worry about anybody else. 151 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 3: Nobody had to give me a job. All they had 152 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 3: to do was give me stage time and I could 153 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 3: create the world on my own. 154 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,440 Speaker 1: And you were such a trailblazer and all of it. 155 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 1: It's just it's I'm so curious, when did queerness enter 156 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: the equation for you? Because you've been such a loyal 157 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,840 Speaker 1: advocate for so long and you've been so open about 158 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 1: the things that our community goes through. And that's you know, 159 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: between mental health and suicide, pseudicidal thoughts and all of 160 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 1: these things like when did that becoming actually come out 161 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: and who you were as a kid or was it 162 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:55,480 Speaker 1: way later in life. 163 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 3: Well, that was always there. I mean, my parents were 164 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 3: always very open to queerness. So they had a gay bookstore. 165 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,199 Speaker 3: They owned a gay bookstore, so they were. 166 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,680 Speaker 1: Like, gosh, that is amazing. 167 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, in the seventies they were like in business with 168 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 3: gay people, and they were like hosting gay events, and so, 169 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 3: you know that was gay was considered normal. 170 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,119 Speaker 2: Straight was always the anomaly. 171 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:27,319 Speaker 3: So when I was younger, I always identified as a lesbian. 172 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 3: It wasn't until later that I realized, oh, I'm actually bisexual, 173 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 3: and then later I think, oh, well, I think queer 174 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:36,199 Speaker 3: is actually probably the right terminology. It's the one that fits. 175 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,199 Speaker 3: That was always part of my reality. It was always 176 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 3: part of my comedy, and it was always part of 177 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 3: my life, and it was very much like just. 178 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,680 Speaker 2: A detail, and I think it was. 179 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 3: Really kind of acceptable because of the fact that I'm 180 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 3: not white, I'm not a man. Then those two things 181 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 3: kind of like people are in the eighties and nineties, 182 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 3: p weren't as curious about it, like people are very 183 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 3: curious if you're sort of straight, white male, like you 184 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 3: sort of have show any gayness. 185 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, they want. 186 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,679 Speaker 3: To know, but everybody else the kind of like there's 187 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 3: a question marking around it. And then there's there's a 188 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:21,200 Speaker 3: gradness to the idea of the fluidity. And then I 189 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 3: remember that what the movie that really had an effect 190 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 3: on me is Basic Instinct. I love Basic Instinct. Yes, 191 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 3: I love the lesbian chic of the nineties. You know, 192 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:32,560 Speaker 3: that's so cool, And so there was a kind of 193 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 3: elegance around it. There was a kind of mystery, and 194 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 3: then you know, Sandy Bernhard, who's a really good friend 195 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 3: of mine, also was very like mysterious about it. So 196 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 3: there was a kind of eloquence that you could have 197 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,719 Speaker 3: around queerness and being a woman, in particular in entertainment 198 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 3: in the early part of the nineties, you know, Madonna 199 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 3: was playing around with it, so there was a kind 200 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:58,920 Speaker 3: of safety there, which led to him more openness later 201 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,400 Speaker 3: of course, with people, very very big women in comedy 202 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 3: coming out. But you know, it's a different it's a 203 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 3: different world now, you know when we think about it, 204 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,720 Speaker 3: although right now there's this kind of conservative element creeping 205 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:16,319 Speaker 3: back which is really scary, but in general, if you're 206 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 3: not a white man, you can get away with a lot. 207 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 1: That part, yeah, that part, and it, you know, because 208 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: you have been so open with your experiences with you know, 209 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:33,920 Speaker 1: an eating disorder and sexual abuse, and you know, it's 210 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:39,439 Speaker 1: been a really incredible vulnerability you've given to your audience 211 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: about the things that you've had to overcome. And I'm curious, 212 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 1: like how humor became away maybe of survival for you 213 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 1: and then eventually became a way of thriving because still 214 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,440 Speaker 1: to this day, there's just no one like you. And 215 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: I think that's so cool because you know, as a 216 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 1: queer woman and tattoos who played sports her whole life, like, 217 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: I didn't see people like me, and I'm almost about 218 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:09,600 Speaker 1: to be forty, so I can imagine you sure as 219 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 1: hell didn't see people like you, and how that became 220 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,600 Speaker 1: how you really leaned into comedy for a way of 221 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:21,400 Speaker 1: survival based on the things your experience in your personal life. 222 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 1: Is that pretty true to say that was almost your 223 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:29,199 Speaker 1: outlet because sports was always my outlet. Yeah I needed it. Yeah, 224 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:30,280 Speaker 1: I agree. 225 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 3: I think that like sports, like comedy is like an outlet, 226 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:36,079 Speaker 3: and it is really a place to go for safety. 227 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 2: Humor, though, is hope. 228 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,439 Speaker 3: Humor is a way to find hope in a situation 229 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,720 Speaker 3: that seems hopeless, whether that is abuse, whether that's addiction, 230 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 3: whether that's eating disorders, whether that's any kind of problem 231 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:53,239 Speaker 3: that you're having. If you can laugh about an aspect 232 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,320 Speaker 3: of it, then there's a glimmer of hope that you'll 233 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,720 Speaker 3: survive it. If you even break it down to what 234 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 3: laughter is is an unexpected into air that's going to 235 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 3: ensure that you live for the next moment. So it's 236 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 3: unexpected life crashing in when you didn't expect it, which 237 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 3: is going to keep you alive to see it through. 238 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:18,680 Speaker 3: So there's the metaphor of laughter, but also the physical 239 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 3: action of it is life affirming. There's a lot of 240 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 3: like I think truth to it. You know, the people 241 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:31,000 Speaker 3: who laugh, they live longer because we're just forced to, 242 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 3: like breathe. I think it's really vital. And there's a 243 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 3: lot of things that I do just in my daily 244 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,320 Speaker 3: life to get ahead of everything too, Like I have 245 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,080 Speaker 3: a really strong meditation practice, I have a really strong 246 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,439 Speaker 3: I'm in recovery, so I'm in a strong recovery community 247 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 3: that I'm super involved with. 248 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:50,840 Speaker 2: So there's a lot of stuff that we do. 249 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,920 Speaker 1: That's really great, and congratulations on that, because it is 250 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 1: definitely something that is not easy, and especially in the 251 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:03,959 Speaker 1: profession of inner attainment. Because what I think, and I 252 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: can't say for certain because I'm not a comedian, I 253 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,720 Speaker 1: think what separates a lot of us in the entertainment 254 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 1: industry is if I'm playing a character, I can hide 255 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 1: behind those walls, right if I'm playing, if I'm on 256 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 1: a movie, or if I'm an athlete, like I just 257 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:26,640 Speaker 1: have to bring that character to the table. And it's 258 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 1: not necessarily it is me because I'm in it and 259 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 1: I'm experiencing it in real time. But there is something 260 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 1: I can hide behind. I think what people don't realize 261 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:41,520 Speaker 1: is like comedy is so different because no matter whatever 262 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 1: shit you're going through behind closed doors, when you show 263 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 1: up on stage, you actually have to be you and 264 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:52,080 Speaker 1: you're you're telling the truth through comedy. And you did 265 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 1: that long before it was cool. What gave you that 266 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,680 Speaker 1: fire to do that when things especially when things are 267 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:02,120 Speaker 1: fucking hard and you have to show up and give 268 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 1: yourself to so many people, Well. 269 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 2: It's to me, it's really fun. 270 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,600 Speaker 3: Like it's just also really fun because we can all 271 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 3: laugh together about these things. When people laugh, it's like 272 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 3: what laughter means is an agreement. They're like, when you're 273 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:22,680 Speaker 3: laughing at something, you're almost unconsciously in agreement with what's 274 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:28,080 Speaker 3: being said, because laughter is such an unconscious, involuntary act. 275 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 3: For the most part, we laugh because we can't help it, 276 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,240 Speaker 3: like it's funny to us, and so we laugh, and 277 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,960 Speaker 3: it's like something that you almost can't explain. So when 278 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 3: people are laughing, it's a recognition of a humanity in 279 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 3: you that makes you want to give back and give more. 280 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 3: So it's only fulfilling, you know. To me, it's never 281 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:52,840 Speaker 3: felt like I am unable to recoup my investment. And 282 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 3: what I've done like always get back every time I 283 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,840 Speaker 3: do a show or you know whatever, I get back 284 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 3: so much more than the effort that I put at. 285 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,120 Speaker 2: So it's always. 286 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:07,480 Speaker 3: Really rejuvenating and really replenishing. It's a very nourishing thing 287 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,960 Speaker 3: to be an artist in this way. So and it 288 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 3: has to continually be renew because I always have to 289 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:19,080 Speaker 3: write new material except to write and continue to perform, 290 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 3: continue to rejuvenate my ideas and refresh what I'm doing. 291 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 3: So the more effort I put into it, the more 292 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 3: that I get out of it, and it always always 293 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 3: come out very very well, well compensated. 294 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:32,560 Speaker 2: At the end. 295 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:37,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. And I was reading quite a 296 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:41,080 Speaker 1: bit about your the early years of what you were 297 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 1: doing and you like got into dominatrix Like what that 298 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,000 Speaker 1: is so far? 299 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 2: Oh yeah cool. I was not good at it. That 300 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,720 Speaker 2: I only did it was it was so bad. 301 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 3: Like I worked at a well, I worked at this 302 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,600 Speaker 3: place that was like I helped open the retail shop 303 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,480 Speaker 3: because it used to be just a factory, and then 304 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 3: they opened a retail store with they were like making 305 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 3: like leather dildos and they were selling them in their 306 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:07,000 Speaker 3: retail store. And then I there was a dominatrix that 307 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 3: work there. 308 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,400 Speaker 2: I got in on a couple of her sessions. 309 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,119 Speaker 3: I was really bad at it, like I because what 310 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:18,000 Speaker 3: a dominatrix is is it's you have to be a therapist, 311 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 3: a sex worker, a mind reader. Sometimes you have to 312 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 3: be so you're like so uh connected to this person 313 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:30,399 Speaker 3: and and and their desires and drawing them out and 314 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 3: and and and really kind of. 315 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,360 Speaker 2: Giving life to their fantasy. 316 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 3: So you're an actor, you're sometimes are parent, you're all 317 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 3: of these things. That I don't have any ability to be, 318 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:46,200 Speaker 3: you know, so I think that, Yeah, dominatrixes are really 319 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 3: that is one of You're also a body worker, yeah, 320 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 3: you know, you're like a physical therapist. There's a lot 321 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 3: of stuff that goes into play when you're working in 322 00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 3: that capacity, which so it's very welcombled compensated financially, which 323 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:01,560 Speaker 3: is good. 324 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 2: But it's hard work. 325 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,520 Speaker 1: I'm sure it is. And I'm curious though so much 326 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:10,880 Speaker 1: of us fear like we're scared to stand outside of 327 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,840 Speaker 1: the box or the lane, you know. And I love 328 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,760 Speaker 1: that you just have this bullish mentality. You're like, I'm 329 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:20,119 Speaker 1: gonna fucking do everything and I'm gonna live this like 330 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 1: well rounded life and I'm gonna feel zero shame about it. 331 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 1: And it's like, I wish I could be more like you. 332 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 1: I because we do internally innately, like inside of us, 333 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,040 Speaker 1: we have these desires of doing things, but we're so 334 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,280 Speaker 1: scared to act on them because it might not fall 335 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 1: into the norm. And everything you've ever done has been 336 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:49,000 Speaker 1: literally an outside of what people would say is conventional. 337 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,119 Speaker 1: And do you think like that? Do you give it 338 00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 1: doesn't help by being so open give permission to other 339 00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:01,359 Speaker 1: people to experience life at its fullest these ways, or 340 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: you're just like, yeah, I hope. 341 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,199 Speaker 3: So I mean I hope that it does, you know, 342 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 3: Like I just really like to do different things. I 343 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:12,560 Speaker 3: like to do things that are challenging. Also, like that's 344 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,920 Speaker 3: why I love stand up comedy because it's like this 345 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:18,159 Speaker 3: thing that will never always quite figure out, you know, 346 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,400 Speaker 3: because every audience is different and every show is different, 347 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:26,359 Speaker 3: and everything is always it's always a blank slate that 348 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 3: you have to go and try to figure out and 349 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 3: reconfigure all these things. And also with the comedy, your 350 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 3: fame quote unquote fame or whatever will only buy you 351 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 3: about ten seconds of people's like ears, you know, and attention, 352 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 3: so you have to deliver really quickly always. So that's 353 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,320 Speaker 3: what keeps us all on our toes. I mean, that's 354 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,120 Speaker 3: why you'll see, like comedian, we have to work every night, 355 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,920 Speaker 3: So I pretty much do. I have to work every 356 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 3: night somewhere because I can't lose that connection with people. 357 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,200 Speaker 3: So I guess because you have to keep going back, 358 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,040 Speaker 3: that's what's so engaging and thrilling about it. 359 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:07,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, practice is a big part of anyone's profession. 360 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 1: To stay what they call like on the saddle, I guess, 361 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,919 Speaker 1: but do you ever have Has there ever been a 362 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:17,399 Speaker 1: moment where like this is why I never could be 363 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:22,239 Speaker 1: a comedian because I'm I don't have that mentality. I 364 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,879 Speaker 1: just can't imagine if I stood up there and no 365 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,880 Speaker 1: one laughed, Like for me, what is the scariest part 366 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:33,640 Speaker 1: of being a comedian? Like as a goalkeeper and as 367 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 1: an athlete, you know, I make one mistake and it 368 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,120 Speaker 1: changes the entire game, Like I don't have the liberty 369 00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:43,119 Speaker 1: to fuck up. I just don't. I'm the last person 370 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:46,119 Speaker 1: in defense. So I'm curious, what's that? What does that 371 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: look like for your world as a comedian. Do you 372 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,119 Speaker 1: ever walk off stage and you're like, holy shit, I 373 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,760 Speaker 1: just really fucking tank that or is it just you 374 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,359 Speaker 1: don't land it? Like, how what does that look like 375 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:58,120 Speaker 1: for comedy? 376 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,960 Speaker 3: Well, there's a micro failures and micro successes within each performance, 377 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 3: you know, with every subject that you broach, with everything 378 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,760 Speaker 3: that you try out, you know, there's always like dips 379 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 3: and then you know and there's yeah, there's there I 380 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 3: do poorly sometimes and I'm like I can't believe, like 381 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,240 Speaker 3: I couldn't dig myself out of that, you know, because 382 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:23,200 Speaker 3: we have escape patches, like even if like comedians have 383 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 3: ways of getting us out of situations that we've tried 384 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,680 Speaker 3: tried in the past, you know, like when you've done 385 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 3: this for long enough, you kind of get sort of 386 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,959 Speaker 3: a game plan of, oh, I can deal with this, 387 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,159 Speaker 3: like I've dealt with this before, I know what this is. 388 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 2: But every once in a. 389 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 3: While you'll come up with the situation that you can't 390 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 3: I can't best it, and then I just have to leave. 391 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 3: But also the stakes aren't as high necessarily, I mean, 392 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,960 Speaker 3: they're emotionally high. Sometimes as you drew up there, you 393 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,720 Speaker 3: don't want to fail, you know. But at the same time, 394 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 3: in the grand scheme of things, it's just because people 395 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 3: not laughing, it doesn't really matter. 396 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,520 Speaker 1: Because you do think differently, Margaret, Like you've always been 397 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:06,560 Speaker 1: so unapologetically political in a lot of ways, and God, 398 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,480 Speaker 1: especially now that a world that is so fragmented and 399 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 1: so divided and so touchy when it comes to politics, 400 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:20,879 Speaker 1: Like has the crowd shifted and the energy shifted now 401 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,479 Speaker 1: versus you know maybe at the beginning of your career, 402 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,359 Speaker 1: is there a really different dynamic. 403 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:32,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's very different, And it's really like about remembering 404 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,879 Speaker 3: to be an entertainer. Like, That's what I always want 405 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 3: to have in mind for myself, because I don't want 406 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,960 Speaker 3: to be so mad and preachy and yelling at people 407 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,600 Speaker 3: about what they should believe. Politically, I think that I 408 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,120 Speaker 3: do really strongly have opinion opinions about what I think 409 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,639 Speaker 3: is right. But at the same time, it's not my 410 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:58,879 Speaker 3: place to rattle on about that unless it is, you know, 411 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 3: unless I do do a lot of shows in political context. 412 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:06,120 Speaker 3: I do shows, I did, you know, lots of work 413 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 3: on the Kamala Harris campaign. You know, I do work 414 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 3: in the political arenas. But I'm not Then it's not 415 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:19,040 Speaker 3: necessary to, you know, be super angry at people. 416 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:22,560 Speaker 2: You know, you just have to accept that you're an entertainer. 417 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,760 Speaker 3: I want to remember I'm an entertainer first, yep, and 418 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:30,200 Speaker 3: that's what I care about doing a good show more 419 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 3: than other things. But I still care about those other 420 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:37,920 Speaker 3: things and that can come out in other ways. 421 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:50,359 Speaker 1: Stay tuned, we'll be right back after this. And you 422 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:54,440 Speaker 1: mentioned you know about your sobriety, and you really made 423 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,800 Speaker 1: it at such an early age. Not many people, especially 424 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,440 Speaker 1: the pressures of which which you have to go through 425 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,080 Speaker 1: as a fourteen year old child standing up and moving 426 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:10,479 Speaker 1: an audience to laughter, Like what can you talk to 427 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 1: me about your substance abuse? And was it based on 428 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 1: the pressure? Was it based on No? 429 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 2: I don't think so. 430 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:25,000 Speaker 3: I think like I'm just naturally inclined to like inebriation, 431 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:30,639 Speaker 3: Like I'm just a naturally inclined person towards addiction, like 432 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:35,520 Speaker 3: I like alcohol, I like drugs, like I like the 433 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:43,200 Speaker 3: feeling of being drunk and high, and I. 434 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,240 Speaker 2: Do it to excess, and it's not. 435 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 3: Something that I can go back and do it, you know, 436 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,040 Speaker 3: because I've tried tried my whole life to try to 437 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 3: be an occasional user and a casual drinker, and I've 438 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,359 Speaker 3: failed every time. So now it's in the last decade, Wow, 439 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,360 Speaker 3: I've made the real decision. I'm not doing this anymore. 440 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:07,119 Speaker 3: And it has to be very, very forceful to really 441 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,960 Speaker 3: stay that way. So now recovery is a very big 442 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 3: part of my life. Whereas before, like I was always 443 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,880 Speaker 3: like kind of broaching it, like wanting to do it, 444 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:22,879 Speaker 3: but never quite committing. So that's like the latest journey is, 445 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,879 Speaker 3: let's do this. I mean, if I had stuck to it, 446 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,800 Speaker 3: I would have like over thirty years of sobriety, but 447 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:34,080 Speaker 3: I don't because I always thought I can go back 448 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:35,960 Speaker 3: and do that and that's the one thing that I 449 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 3: can't do. 450 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:41,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. And has the sobriety shifted your work at 451 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:46,040 Speaker 1: all today or do you feel, you know, even being 452 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:49,280 Speaker 1: fully present it's better or do you feel like has 453 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,600 Speaker 1: it changed anything of the way you move on stage 454 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:53,400 Speaker 1: or not at all? 455 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,200 Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I mean sobriety has given me a lot 456 00:25:56,240 --> 00:26:00,080 Speaker 3: of I mean, it's just improved every area of my 457 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:04,960 Speaker 3: life in ways that I mean I can't even express, 458 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,840 Speaker 3: like it's just so much better because my mood overall 459 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:14,800 Speaker 3: is better. So it's just a completely new life. And 460 00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:18,240 Speaker 3: it's so different from even just being in a quote 461 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 3: unquote occasional casual because I can't be you know, So 462 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:28,639 Speaker 3: it's really, yeah, it's pretty incredible what sobriety has done. 463 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,959 Speaker 3: But overall, I'm just a happier person, which is the 464 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 3: best outcome of it all. 465 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:36,200 Speaker 2: I mean, that's the best thing. 466 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:41,640 Speaker 1: It really is, And you know, I think it's I've 467 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,600 Speaker 1: watched it firsthand in my family and it definitely is 468 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:50,960 Speaker 1: not easy, and it is a lifelong commitment of every 469 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,160 Speaker 1: day choosing exactly what you said you have very strict 470 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:58,240 Speaker 1: guardrails around how you choose to live and probably who 471 00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,679 Speaker 1: you choose to live it with, and shows up in 472 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 1: those spaces. Yeah, but I am I'd love to dive 473 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:10,680 Speaker 1: into and I can't wait. Your queerness and however evolving 474 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,679 Speaker 1: it has been, you know, for you over the years, 475 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,440 Speaker 1: because you are one of the ogs. And what I'm 476 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:22,639 Speaker 1: finding now in our community is people are so quick 477 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,359 Speaker 1: to want to put you in a box, even though 478 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 1: that's what the same box we've been fighting so hard 479 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,119 Speaker 1: to get away from in our community. It's like, how 480 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,760 Speaker 1: do you label yourself? As you said, you were like 481 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:40,040 Speaker 1: a lesbian, then you were you wanted to be bisexual, 482 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,439 Speaker 1: and then you wanted to be queer. And it's just like, 483 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,600 Speaker 1: I feel a lot of people in our community have 484 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:52,720 Speaker 1: been coming out and shifting whatever identity that makes sense 485 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,400 Speaker 1: for them, and they're taking a lot of hatred online. 486 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,320 Speaker 1: And I'm curious of your thought on this because yours 487 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,000 Speaker 1: has been ever changing and in the public eye for 488 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,359 Speaker 1: a long time. What is your view on it? Because 489 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,719 Speaker 1: I'm I think labels are so wonky and weird, and 490 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:12,159 Speaker 1: also who fucking cares? Like does it really matter? Everything? 491 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,959 Speaker 1: And everyone is on a spectrum, but uh, you know, 492 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,159 Speaker 1: as someone who's lived it, what are your thoughts on it? 493 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:23,880 Speaker 1: And how has you know your queerness affected your audience 494 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,720 Speaker 1: and fans over time. 495 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,080 Speaker 2: I think that people have a lot of. 496 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,840 Speaker 3: Invested in identity and the labels, you know, because the 497 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,399 Speaker 3: labels have a lot of baggage. You know. We we uh, 498 00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,880 Speaker 3: we want to know where people stand because we want 499 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,880 Speaker 3: to know like who is going to be there for us, 500 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:46,360 Speaker 3: so who is going to speak to us? 501 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 2: Or you know, all sorts of stuff. 502 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 3: But I think with queerness it's tough because we can 503 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:56,480 Speaker 3: evolve and shift over time and over relationships. And so 504 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,960 Speaker 3: that's why I like the term queer because it actually 505 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 3: allows me to have the fullness of experience that I am. 506 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,360 Speaker 3: But at the same time, like, I also understand when 507 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:15,120 Speaker 3: people are like, like, there's a lot of hysteria around 508 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 3: like Jojo sewell, yes, I. 509 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 1: Think I didn't want to say it, but we're saying. 510 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 3: It's interesting because people were super like, you know, she's 511 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 3: come out and she's going to be like this lesbian champion. 512 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:33,400 Speaker 3: And I think that we love this idea of like 513 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 3: somebody who is like strongly identified in being lesbian and strong, 514 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 3: and then when they have a relationship with a man, 515 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:43,360 Speaker 3: it's shocking. 516 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:44,760 Speaker 2: It's like a cold. 517 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,320 Speaker 3: Shower of like wait, wait, wait, you know, like but 518 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:49,520 Speaker 3: I thought, you know, and so people have so much 519 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:54,280 Speaker 3: invested in this idea of who somebody is. But you know, 520 00:29:55,560 --> 00:30:01,360 Speaker 3: I think generally sexuality is it's a spectrum, you know, 521 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,160 Speaker 3: and it's going to move. So it's like it's going 522 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 3: to move along with you in life, and it's going 523 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:09,800 Speaker 3: to change and grow with you. So it doesn't discount 524 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,040 Speaker 3: the lesbian that she was before, you know. I think 525 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:17,600 Speaker 3: it just expands the idea of who we all are. 526 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:21,120 Speaker 3: There is no I don't think there's such a thing 527 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:23,880 Speaker 3: as like gay betrayal. 528 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 2: I mean, unless you go full like. 529 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,440 Speaker 3: Log cabin and then you want gayness to be outlawed. 530 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:31,800 Speaker 3: Like that's sort of a different story. Like they're like, 531 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,000 Speaker 3: it's not like these horrible stories of people who say 532 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 3: they've converted and now they see the truth like that 533 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 3: that's I don't think that's possible anyway. You know. I 534 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,720 Speaker 3: don't think you can pray away the gay no matter 535 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:47,640 Speaker 3: how hard you want it. Like it's I think it's 536 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 3: just understanding that we have more within us than we 537 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:56,719 Speaker 3: realize and that also doesn't mean as much as we think. So, 538 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:02,760 Speaker 3: but yeah, we do get very allied with people who 539 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:06,440 Speaker 3: we believe we sort of take ownership, especially if artists, 540 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:11,719 Speaker 3: because we want them to be our hours. Then we 541 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:15,360 Speaker 3: want them to be our people. And I think they 542 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,400 Speaker 3: still are, you know, they still can't be. 543 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:18,760 Speaker 1: Uh. 544 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:22,640 Speaker 2: It just it's hard, you know, like it's it's it's 545 00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:27,840 Speaker 2: hard to I feel for both parties, you know, I 546 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,400 Speaker 2: feel for those the flex. Fletcher is another one. Oh yeah, 547 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:32,400 Speaker 2: Fletcher is a. 548 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:36,440 Speaker 3: Big, very big deal. I feel for Fletcher fans. So 549 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,440 Speaker 3: I understand that feeling of betrayal because it was all 550 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:44,120 Speaker 3: of this, these years of really writing about lesbian yearning. 551 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,120 Speaker 3: And the the thing is, you can't mess with lesbian yearning. 552 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:50,680 Speaker 1: You really can't. 553 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:54,160 Speaker 3: When you tap into the sort of Katie line, constant 554 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:58,520 Speaker 3: craving vibe, you can't deviate from that. So then when people, 555 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:00,640 Speaker 3: you know, then she do sort of out the song 556 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,280 Speaker 3: about a man and this kind of during Pride month also, 557 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:08,200 Speaker 3: there's all this stuff that people feel very betrayed, but 558 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 3: at the same time, you know, doesn't discount all of 559 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,720 Speaker 3: the stuff that she made you feel before. Exactly, it 560 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 3: shouldn't it shouldn't, you know, but it is. 561 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,040 Speaker 2: I get it. I get both sides. 562 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like I don't know how I would 563 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 3: feel like if chapel Ron suddenly had a trad wife 564 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:33,440 Speaker 3: like like up like updo and kind of different look 565 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:37,080 Speaker 3: like you know, that would be but that's yeah, yeah, 566 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,520 Speaker 3: that would be strange. But at the same time, it's 567 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 3: like we don't have the option to take artists and say, well, 568 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:44,200 Speaker 3: then you have to be this for the rest. 569 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 1: Of time, which also isn't fair. It's not fair because 570 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:49,000 Speaker 1: we were evolving. 571 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 2: I mean, we're all evolving, all. 572 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:53,720 Speaker 1: Evolving in real time, and the world is moving with 573 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:58,160 Speaker 1: technology like so fucking fast, like we have no choice 574 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,560 Speaker 1: to be set in our ways anymore, like life outside 575 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:06,080 Speaker 1: of our box and realm, like everything is moving so quickly. 576 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:10,080 Speaker 1: It feels like, oh it's a lot of times technology 577 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:13,600 Speaker 1: is such a great thing. But it's that's why we're 578 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,680 Speaker 1: all fucking stressed out all the time, you know. On 579 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:20,280 Speaker 1: that kind of same topic, because queerness to you, you know, 580 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,440 Speaker 1: while you were married and your identity like it has 581 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:26,680 Speaker 1: been ever changing, just like we were we were talking about, 582 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,000 Speaker 1: and what I loved is you know, I know you're 583 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:34,120 Speaker 1: not married anymore, but you had an open marriage. So 584 00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:38,080 Speaker 1: I'm curious, like, over this time of love sex partnership, 585 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:43,280 Speaker 1: how has that evolved? Because I know a lot of 586 00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,959 Speaker 1: my friends who are in open marriages, but like, no 587 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 1: one's willing to talk about it, And I'm like, why 588 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,520 Speaker 1: are we not willing to talk about it? Because it's 589 00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:56,640 Speaker 1: taboo because it's not traditional, Like, how did you feel 590 00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:57,160 Speaker 1: in that? 591 00:33:57,760 --> 00:33:59,680 Speaker 3: I didn't think it worked. That's why I didn't want 592 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:01,440 Speaker 3: to talk about it when I was doing it. Oh, 593 00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:04,240 Speaker 3: I don't think. I inherently don't think it works. I 594 00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,800 Speaker 3: think because nobody is willing to put up the level 595 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 3: of communication that it actually requires. Like for you to 596 00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:15,239 Speaker 3: be in an open relationship or a polycule, you have 597 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:21,160 Speaker 3: to do so much actual, honest work to make it viable. 598 00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:24,760 Speaker 3: Nobody I don't want to do that. There are people 599 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,759 Speaker 3: in the world that may want to, I've not met 600 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:32,480 Speaker 3: them yet. It's so tough to do, and it's so 601 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:38,200 Speaker 3: it requires such a level of maturity and grace and 602 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:42,120 Speaker 3: finesse that nobody wants to do. Like I already, as 603 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,200 Speaker 3: a lesbian, don't want to process anyway. So I'm like 604 00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:47,200 Speaker 3: a bad lesbian because I hate processing I hate talking 605 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,560 Speaker 3: about feelings. I hate going to couple's therapy. I hate 606 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,359 Speaker 3: it so much, like I don't want to do it. 607 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:55,440 Speaker 3: So I am in a really bad way when it 608 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:58,280 Speaker 3: comes to like, you know, any kind of open relationship, 609 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:02,520 Speaker 3: any kind of polycule, any kind of I believe it 610 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:07,800 Speaker 3: only works with people are incredibly mature, serious, communicative, open 611 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,399 Speaker 3: and working on it actively. And I don't think all 612 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:12,880 Speaker 3: parties are. 613 00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,760 Speaker 1: But aren't we like jealous beans at our core? 614 00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:16,720 Speaker 2: Yes? 615 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:20,320 Speaker 1: And I'm just like I think you had maybe mentioned 616 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,759 Speaker 1: that at some point and you were so real about it. 617 00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:28,080 Speaker 1: It's like I'm a jealous like fucking human at my core, 618 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:31,440 Speaker 1: Like I what's mine as mine and it's sacred and 619 00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:34,120 Speaker 1: I don't want people touching it or like being like 620 00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:37,600 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And yeah, it was jealousy. 621 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:40,319 Speaker 1: The biggest thing that creeps in, Like how do you 622 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,480 Speaker 1: not have jealousy in an open marriage or relationships? 623 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:50,799 Speaker 3: It's really impossible not to also having jealousy of you know, 624 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:54,759 Speaker 3: the partner having jealousy about you, you know, like it's 625 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:59,520 Speaker 3: a two way street, and so it's impossible to completely negotiate. 626 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:04,160 Speaker 2: Out of that, you know. So now what I am 627 00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:04,799 Speaker 2: in I'm in. 628 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,600 Speaker 3: Sort of a series of like situationships that are super 629 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,600 Speaker 3: casual that have been going on for years, that are 630 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:14,480 Speaker 3: not going anywhere, that are also they are like like 631 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,799 Speaker 3: paused for years at a time as well. So my 632 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:22,200 Speaker 3: situation now is super grown, I think, but also not. 633 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:26,320 Speaker 3: It's not a polycule, it's not a relationship, it's not anything. 634 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,279 Speaker 3: So I'm very comfortable there. I don't know if I 635 00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:34,680 Speaker 3: would ever be in another relationship that wasn't that because 636 00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:39,360 Speaker 3: now I'm so committed to my own serenity that i 637 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,920 Speaker 3: don't feel like anything else is appropriate. 638 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,120 Speaker 2: But you know it's possible. 639 00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:47,360 Speaker 1: Are you like, are you open to dating? Are you dating? 640 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,160 Speaker 1: What is your like? Where are you at now with 641 00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:50,680 Speaker 1: all of that? 642 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm open to dating. I'm open to meeting new people. 643 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,840 Speaker 3: I'm there, I'm out there, I am dating, But I'm also, 644 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:03,080 Speaker 3: you know, not really willing to be in a committed relationship. 645 00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:07,440 Speaker 1: It's really like an interesting thing as you continue to 646 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,880 Speaker 1: you know, progress and age and understand yourself more. I 647 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:15,839 Speaker 1: think as we were younger, it's like this weird timeline. 648 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:20,560 Speaker 1: We're all trying to check all these boxes, and you know, 649 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 1: once you do this, you got to move to the 650 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,560 Speaker 1: next step and do to that, and then once you 651 00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:26,880 Speaker 1: do all of it, and you lose yourself in the process, 652 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:28,799 Speaker 1: you're like, what the fuck was I doing? Like I 653 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:32,040 Speaker 1: don't even recognize the person I'm looking at in the 654 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:37,640 Speaker 1: mirror anymore. And you get so much more comfortable being alone. Yeah, 655 00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:41,120 Speaker 1: I just like you know, I you know, a few 656 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:44,279 Speaker 1: years ago, got divorced and had the kids, had the home, 657 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,640 Speaker 1: had the life, and it's just not always the fairy 658 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:48,759 Speaker 1: tale you think it is. 659 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:50,520 Speaker 2: No. 660 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:54,960 Speaker 3: No, Sometimes being in a relationship is the loneliest thing, 661 00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,880 Speaker 3: and that's I don't ever want to feel that again. 662 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:01,640 Speaker 3: So I'm grateful now tended to be where I am, 663 00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,279 Speaker 3: where I have companionship when I want it. But I'm 664 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:08,520 Speaker 3: also seeking that solitude which I really deserve. 665 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:09,040 Speaker 2: I want. 666 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,960 Speaker 1: I love that. And at your home, no pets, no nothing, 667 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:14,560 Speaker 1: just like zen. 668 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:16,680 Speaker 2: Oh no, I have many pets. 669 00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:18,160 Speaker 1: Ah tell me everything. 670 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,560 Speaker 2: I have this stuff right here. 671 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:23,960 Speaker 1: Oh my god, Hi, sweetie. 672 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:29,359 Speaker 3: That's Lucia. She's always on my body somewhere. She's always 673 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,120 Speaker 3: just she's sleeping. 674 00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,239 Speaker 1: Who needs a partner when you have Lucia. 675 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,719 Speaker 3: I have a Lucia, Katerina. I have three cats who 676 00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:40,879 Speaker 3: are beautiful and hilarious and just my champions. 677 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:42,760 Speaker 2: So I have a very full life. 678 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,560 Speaker 3: You know, I have many many animals, which is all 679 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:47,960 Speaker 3: I need really. 680 00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:53,440 Speaker 1: And I get the energy of just the stillness and 681 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:57,280 Speaker 1: the ease, and I think maybe I hope that comes 682 00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,680 Speaker 1: with time because I hope to feel that as well. 683 00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:03,360 Speaker 1: But have you what have you really learned in this 684 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:07,840 Speaker 1: healing process that took you years to actually like believe? 685 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:17,440 Speaker 3: I think that it's it's easier to attain than we think. 686 00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:21,239 Speaker 3: And then it just requires a kind like what are 687 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:25,480 Speaker 3: what are the elements that are necessary for me? It's like, okay, 688 00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:28,640 Speaker 3: well I need to train my body to have peace 689 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,360 Speaker 3: and silence so that it's like, you know, I have 690 00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,960 Speaker 3: a really strong meditation practice, which is very helpful. And 691 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:38,560 Speaker 3: it's a practice because you're just practicing every day at 692 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:42,359 Speaker 3: the same time to do this like exercise where you 693 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:47,520 Speaker 3: have nothing and but silence and breathing and peace, because 694 00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:49,840 Speaker 3: you may need to recreate it at other points in 695 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,600 Speaker 3: the day. So we practice this every day so we 696 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,080 Speaker 3: can keep going back to a place of like peace, 697 00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:57,759 Speaker 3: so that if I'm out in the world and something's frustrating, 698 00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,279 Speaker 3: I can go back there mentally I love that. 699 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,960 Speaker 1: And for someone who has lived such a full, beautiful 700 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:07,759 Speaker 1: life as still at such an early age, what does 701 00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:10,520 Speaker 1: matter most to you right now during this time, because 702 00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:16,399 Speaker 1: it is a really interesting time in our life, and 703 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:19,160 Speaker 1: I'm just curious, like, what does matter most to you 704 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,200 Speaker 1: right now in this moment of. 705 00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:24,279 Speaker 3: So much Yeah, there's so much uncertainty. I think what 706 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:28,120 Speaker 3: really matters is friends, What really matters is art, What 707 00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:32,799 Speaker 3: really matters is animal friends. What matters is peace, you know, 708 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,280 Speaker 3: and enduring peace within and trying to spread peace all around, 709 00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:42,520 Speaker 3: you know, and uh, you know what matters is is 710 00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:47,319 Speaker 3: really how we live in this moment. You know, now 711 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:51,560 Speaker 3: is a good opportunity for political resistance. Right now is 712 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:55,080 Speaker 3: a very good opportunity to talk about queerness, to talk 713 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:56,560 Speaker 3: about feminism. 714 00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,319 Speaker 2: To talk about equality. 715 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:03,000 Speaker 3: You know. So these are important things that important discussions 716 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:06,640 Speaker 3: that are happening to take our world back from a 717 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:11,200 Speaker 3: very destructive force. So, you know, it's a lot of stuff. 718 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:16,480 Speaker 1: And I love that. I can only imagine that in 719 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,120 Speaker 1: a time that feels like so much pain and grief, 720 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:23,480 Speaker 1: making people laugh helps heal you in the process. Yeah, yeah, 721 00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:27,400 Speaker 1: And I think that's such a beautiful thing. Like what 722 00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:32,600 Speaker 1: I love so much about comedy and sports. There's no AI. 723 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,719 Speaker 1: It is a live performance. Yeah, no one can take 724 00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:39,640 Speaker 1: that away from you. No one can necessarily recreate it 725 00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:45,640 Speaker 1: because it's a human interaction moment. It's just a fucking 726 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:49,960 Speaker 1: moment to be so present and just drop everything else. 727 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,440 Speaker 1: And how lucky are we that we get to provide 728 00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:54,600 Speaker 1: that for people? 729 00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:55,640 Speaker 2: So lucky. 730 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,120 Speaker 3: It's such a beautiful thing. So I'm so grateful for that. 731 00:41:58,280 --> 00:41:59,919 Speaker 3: So yeah, it's really it's really power. 732 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,560 Speaker 1: This is wide open and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris. 733 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:07,520 Speaker 2: We'll be right back. 734 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:22,160 Speaker 1: What are you still fighting for? Because you've been an advocate, 735 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:26,640 Speaker 1: like for a very long time. You San Francisco is 736 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,799 Speaker 1: like the hub of everything literally, especially you know when 737 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:32,400 Speaker 1: you were born and raised there, Like, what are you 738 00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:36,160 Speaker 1: still fighting for? And what have you finally realized? You 739 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:37,160 Speaker 1: just have to release. 740 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:42,160 Speaker 3: I have to release this idea that it's all going 741 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,520 Speaker 3: to be fixed in one day. It's this idea that 742 00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:47,920 Speaker 3: there will be a point where everything is going to 743 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:49,799 Speaker 3: be better. There will always be things that we need 744 00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,319 Speaker 3: to work on, and that's just because of society is 745 00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,040 Speaker 3: huge and there's a lot of things that are going 746 00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,359 Speaker 3: to be necessary to take care of but. 747 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,640 Speaker 2: What I still want to fight for is fairness. 748 00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:01,360 Speaker 3: Fairness for people, artis for people to live, and for 749 00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:05,040 Speaker 3: certain resources like you know, the gayteen suicide hotlines I 750 00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,200 Speaker 3: would like to fight for. You know, that's a very 751 00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:12,480 Speaker 3: small thing, but it means so much. The symbolic meaning of. 752 00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:14,000 Speaker 2: That is so huge. 753 00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:17,920 Speaker 3: So something like that, I think we really need to 754 00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:22,279 Speaker 3: uh recreate that for our community. And I know that's 755 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,800 Speaker 3: happening with the Trevor Project and people like that fighting 756 00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:26,960 Speaker 3: for it. But you know, stuff like that, like we 757 00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,920 Speaker 3: need to fight for queer youth, That's always going to 758 00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,840 Speaker 3: be something that's incredibly important to me. 759 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,440 Speaker 1: I love that and I couldn't agree more. And it's 760 00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:40,960 Speaker 1: it's it's been hard to watch the vitriol of like 761 00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,080 Speaker 1: what people are willing to do to do to harm 762 00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,040 Speaker 1: their neighbor. Yeah, and it really comes from a place 763 00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:48,359 Speaker 1: of like fear of not. 764 00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:54,280 Speaker 2: Knowing and misunderstanding, you're the bravery of knowing. Yeah. 765 00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's a true, a true thing. I 766 00:43:56,600 --> 00:44:01,880 Speaker 1: think people in our community are so open just to 767 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:05,839 Speaker 1: just say the things and live life and color that 768 00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:08,759 Speaker 1: it makes other people who do want to check the 769 00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:12,040 Speaker 1: boxes feel uncomfortable and feel shamed. That they can't do 770 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:12,760 Speaker 1: the same. 771 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:14,200 Speaker 2: Right, that's true. 772 00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:17,640 Speaker 1: So it's it's a really interesting thing. And I always 773 00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,640 Speaker 1: ask this question to every guest, So I want to 774 00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,400 Speaker 1: ask you this before before we time is up and 775 00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:27,400 Speaker 1: we have to go. But what is the one moment 776 00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:32,640 Speaker 1: in your life, whether professionally or personally, that has really 777 00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:36,680 Speaker 1: split you wide open, that changed everything for you, that 778 00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:41,200 Speaker 1: really made you open your eyes up and be like wow. 779 00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,759 Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean, I think it's mostly. 780 00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:52,040 Speaker 3: That it's still happening, like that there's still battles to 781 00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,800 Speaker 3: be one, there's still things that need to be changed, 782 00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,680 Speaker 3: you know, Like I've been going to like punk rock shows. 783 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,520 Speaker 3: I used to go to rock against Reagan in the eighties, 784 00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:06,400 Speaker 3: like these like things where we were like still protesting 785 00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,919 Speaker 3: with all of our might. And then through the Bush era, 786 00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:12,960 Speaker 3: I was like protesting. So I got protested so much 787 00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:16,560 Speaker 3: I was disinvited to the Democratic National Convention in two 788 00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,680 Speaker 3: thousand and four, Like there was like I was like 789 00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:24,400 Speaker 3: protesting so much, Like I was so and that I 790 00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:28,239 Speaker 3: thought that we would be pasted it by now you 791 00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:31,360 Speaker 3: know that we and yet we're dealing with some of 792 00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:36,680 Speaker 3: the worst you know, fascism that I've ever seen. So 793 00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:39,200 Speaker 3: I think that it's the fact that it's not over, 794 00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:43,400 Speaker 3: that it continued, that's still the enormity of the battle, 795 00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,200 Speaker 3: but it still keeps you fighting, you know. So it 796 00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,600 Speaker 3: doesn't make me want to give up, but it's it's astonishing. 797 00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's the thing that we have to 798 00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,600 Speaker 1: continue to spread the message. It's I love that you 799 00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,719 Speaker 1: say that. It's you know, so much as moving and 800 00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:02,160 Speaker 1: so much is happening, and I think people are retreating 801 00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:06,120 Speaker 1: so much in fear and we need We've been here before, 802 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:10,440 Speaker 1: maybe in a different form, but like rebellion and protech 803 00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:14,000 Speaker 1: like that is the layer and foundation our community has 804 00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:16,799 Speaker 1: been built on. And now is not the time to 805 00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:20,560 Speaker 1: roll over and like push this news button just say okay, 806 00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:24,680 Speaker 1: I'll wait till this four year term is up. It's like, no, 807 00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:28,799 Speaker 1: we cannot give into that type of power. Like we 808 00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:32,840 Speaker 1: have the ability to change it, and it should ignite 809 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:37,960 Speaker 1: and excite us to be energized to fight like hell 810 00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:42,680 Speaker 1: and find solutions instead of just what I constantly feel 811 00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:45,799 Speaker 1: is people are burnt out and fatigued from all the 812 00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:49,520 Speaker 1: fucking shenanigans that we see in our algorithm and all 813 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:53,319 Speaker 1: the antics we see on every social media site and 814 00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:56,000 Speaker 1: news site, and I'm like, that is that but that 815 00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:59,360 Speaker 1: is the game plan. That is the point, and what 816 00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:00,520 Speaker 1: are we going to do about it? 817 00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:01,600 Speaker 2: That's right? 818 00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:05,359 Speaker 1: So I love I love that about you and it's 819 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,879 Speaker 1: as I could learn a lot from it as well. 820 00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:11,840 Speaker 1: And I want to be a legacy to me is 821 00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:15,520 Speaker 1: really leaving this this world better than I found it, 822 00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:20,319 Speaker 1: and it's it's not better than I found it. And 823 00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:24,680 Speaker 1: I'm hoping that we continue to like dig deep because 824 00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:27,560 Speaker 1: we got a lot of work to do. 825 00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:28,680 Speaker 2: That's so true. 826 00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:31,400 Speaker 1: We did a lot of work to do. And the 827 00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:33,399 Speaker 1: last thing I'll ask just the light in the load 828 00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:36,799 Speaker 1: a little bit, what like queer shows right now? Are 829 00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,359 Speaker 1: you watching have you been watching anything? What is your 830 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:44,040 Speaker 1: thoughts on like shitty television or reality television? Like are 831 00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:45,640 Speaker 1: you watching the Queer Ultimatum? 832 00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:49,560 Speaker 3: Like Okay, mal should have stayed at home because she 833 00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:51,200 Speaker 3: was really going off. 834 00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:55,680 Speaker 2: I was like actually, also actually. 835 00:47:55,360 --> 00:48:00,359 Speaker 3: And Martika or Martique they I was like, this is 836 00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:03,760 Speaker 3: this is not a contest to whose grandparents died faster? 837 00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:07,520 Speaker 3: Like this is like awful, like and I think that. 838 00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:08,439 Speaker 1: Yeah. 839 00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:11,640 Speaker 3: Marie was like came and she was I'm gonna fight everybody. 840 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:18,040 Speaker 3: I was like, so the ultimate and then also on 841 00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:20,000 Speaker 3: my algorithm, Vanessa is like. 842 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,200 Speaker 2: Up there from last the first one to go huh. 843 00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:24,600 Speaker 3: You know somebody's life can be ruined when you're on 844 00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:26,239 Speaker 3: reality television. 845 00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:30,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. So yeah. My opinions are, Maurice should have stayed home. 846 00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:31,919 Speaker 1: This is great. 847 00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:33,600 Speaker 2: I do kind of want to eat at. 848 00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:36,120 Speaker 3: Their food truck, though, I know right, I feel like 849 00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:36,920 Speaker 3: it would be busting. 850 00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:38,160 Speaker 2: They would have good food. 851 00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:41,759 Speaker 1: Would you go on a queer show like that? 852 00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:46,600 Speaker 2: I would if I could. Yeah, I mean yeah I would. 853 00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,719 Speaker 3: But I don't not that one because I don't have 854 00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:51,120 Speaker 3: a partner. That's I would, you know, so it would 855 00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:52,800 Speaker 3: have to be a different way. Yeah I would, I 856 00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:54,720 Speaker 3: would definitely. I mean that would be interesting. 857 00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:57,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, would that would be cool? We need more like 858 00:48:58,080 --> 00:48:59,400 Speaker 1: Queer Love Island. 859 00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:01,759 Speaker 3: I would love like a Queer Love Island, you know 860 00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:04,879 Speaker 3: where you're because. But I do love ultimating because he's 861 00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:06,719 Speaker 3: very specifically very lesbian. 862 00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,759 Speaker 2: Yes, there's something so lesbian about it. 863 00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:14,080 Speaker 1: Serious question. I have to know. Thoughts on the host. 864 00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:18,080 Speaker 3: Well, the host is like, I wish it was Robbie Hoffman. 865 00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:21,080 Speaker 3: I think it should be Robbie Hoffman. I guess like 866 00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:22,600 Speaker 3: I just think it should be a couple. 867 00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:25,799 Speaker 1: But also there was one part she chimed in and 868 00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:27,920 Speaker 1: she was like talking about her husband, and I go, 869 00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:28,799 Speaker 1: I was like. 870 00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:33,080 Speaker 3: Oh, like what I mean, I don't I think she 871 00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:35,359 Speaker 3: I don't really have an opinion about her, and like 872 00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:38,840 Speaker 3: I think she's fine or whatever. But I think that 873 00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:41,640 Speaker 3: they should have two and I think it should be 874 00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:44,080 Speaker 3: a I think it should be a two women. It 875 00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:46,760 Speaker 3: has to be women, has to be it should. Robbie 876 00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:47,960 Speaker 3: Hoffman and Gabby Windy. 877 00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:49,480 Speaker 1: Is a great power couple. 878 00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:54,240 Speaker 3: They're super funny and super beautiful together. So like why 879 00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:57,600 Speaker 3: not you know, like to me, it's a lost opportunity 880 00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,960 Speaker 3: to have like a super cool, like very cool couple 881 00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:06,320 Speaker 3: or just mean a lesbian or just you know, somebody 882 00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:08,440 Speaker 3: who was in the life, like who gets it? 883 00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:11,759 Speaker 1: So who can also contribute in a real way on 884 00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,720 Speaker 1: queer partnership because it is not the same. 885 00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:16,799 Speaker 2: It's not the same, and it's two. 886 00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:20,200 Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I want like Tig Natar, like 887 00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:23,880 Speaker 3: I want Tig, I want fortune. I want to do it, 888 00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,279 Speaker 3: you know, like any of us, we would love to, 889 00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,400 Speaker 3: but a couple would be ideal. 890 00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,680 Speaker 1: So I do agree with you. I think they have 891 00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:37,760 Speaker 1: to contribute more in a way that is like insightful 892 00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:40,920 Speaker 1: because it's not the same and we I think these 893 00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:44,239 Speaker 1: if you're interacting that close, like that's the least we 894 00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:47,480 Speaker 1: could do. But I agree, I think Robbie and Gabby 895 00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,920 Speaker 1: would be absolutely it would be so cute, hilarious. 896 00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:51,640 Speaker 3: Also, I think they should get away from the beach, 897 00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:54,600 Speaker 3: like we should just go to like Pump Springs. Let's 898 00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:58,840 Speaker 3: get rid of the get just like Ebby whatever. But 899 00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:02,600 Speaker 3: I have I love that show and yeah, totally, Oh my. 900 00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:05,879 Speaker 1: Gosh, Well you're you're an absolute dream. Before we go, 901 00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:09,680 Speaker 1: is there anything coming up, anything you are working on 902 00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:12,279 Speaker 1: that you want to tell the audience to come check 903 00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:14,760 Speaker 1: you out? Or anything on the list? 904 00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:18,400 Speaker 3: My new tour, My new tour, it's called Choligarchy. It 905 00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:22,399 Speaker 3: starts in Provincetown on August first. I'll be traveling all 906 00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:24,279 Speaker 3: over the place and you can find out where if 907 00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:26,759 Speaker 3: I'm coming to you at Margaret Show dot com. 908 00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:29,160 Speaker 1: Amazing, Well are you going to be in New York 909 00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:30,000 Speaker 1: because I'm going to be there. 910 00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:31,640 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I'll be there in November. 911 00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:33,799 Speaker 1: Really okay, well count me in. 912 00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:35,360 Speaker 2: I'm going to get to perfect. 913 00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:38,200 Speaker 1: I can't wait. Well, thank you so much, Margaret for coming. 914 00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:41,120 Speaker 1: Thank you, it's been such a pleasure. Thanks for giving 915 00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:44,320 Speaker 1: us all your tea and insight, and what a beautiful 916 00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:48,640 Speaker 1: life you have just absolutely continued to live the fullest. 917 00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:49,680 Speaker 2: So thank you. 918 00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:56,480 Speaker 1: Thanks for being on Wide Open. Wide Open with Ashland 919 00:51:56,520 --> 00:52:00,319 Speaker 1: Harris is an iHeart women's sports production. You can find 920 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:04,120 Speaker 1: us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you 921 00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:10,160 Speaker 1: get your podcasts. Our producers are Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronoff, 922 00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:16,279 Speaker 1: and Lucy Jones. Production assistants from Malia Aguidello. Our executive 923 00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:20,960 Speaker 1: producers are Jesse Katz, Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. Our 924 00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:25,040 Speaker 1: editors are Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder and I'm your host, 925 00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:26,280 Speaker 1: Ashlyn Harris.