Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Billy's a Sex. Here's Nikki. Hello, here,
Speaker 1: I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast.
Speaker 1: It is Wednesday when you're hearing this, or I don't
Speaker 1: know when you're hearing this. It could be a Wednesday
Speaker 1: anytime in the future. But um, yeah, if you're listening
Speaker 1: to it the first day it came out, it's Wednesday,
Speaker 1: but we're recording it on Tuesday. It's Valentine's Day here
Speaker 1: in the world where we're recording this, And I hate
Speaker 1: this day personally and we're all coupled up. Wait, no,
Speaker 1: you hate this day too. Yes, I am so annoyed
Speaker 1: with Instagram. I'm just disgusted by all the like love
Speaker 1: going out for like just my little sloppy love lover
Speaker 1: my little bunny this year. It's real. It's not even photos,
Speaker 1: it's video compilations. Really, Oh god, I can't take it.
Speaker 1: I just do not have a boyfriend who would ever
Speaker 1: do like unless we were like getting married and he
Speaker 1: wanted to make a reel of me for like the event,
Speaker 1: like which he's good at and does for a job.
Speaker 1: He's not going to put up a personal post of
Speaker 1: like me. This there's no one's coming at me. I
Speaker 1: don't even want this one's because I think they are
Speaker 1: lame and they kind of speak to like a guy
Speaker 1: who's a little bit pacified. I think of just like
Speaker 1: whipped in a way, no offense. If your boyfriend does it,
Speaker 1: I am jealous. It's like I want it, but I
Speaker 1: don't want to you know, Um, but I can't take
Speaker 1: all the posts today. It just really is irritating me.
Speaker 1: And um, if Chris didn't want it, but I would
Speaker 1: be out of character for him. I that'd be like
Speaker 1: him being like I want you to have, you know,
Speaker 1: an ass. It's like, well, I can't give that to you.
Speaker 1: Why are you with me? You know, like why you
Speaker 1: you shouldn't be with someone like me? Then if that's
Speaker 1: what you want. So it's like you know those things
Speaker 1: in relationships where you're like the person can't have so
Speaker 1: I want I want it from you know there? Yes,
Speaker 1: I do want something. I will say it is. He's
Speaker 1: on the West Coast. He got in really late last
Speaker 1: night to our airbnb that we're going to share again there.
Speaker 1: I'm arriving on Sunday, and today he had to wake
Speaker 1: up and go to work, so I'm allowing until I
Speaker 1: think we decided noon on the girls Chat. Well, then
Speaker 1: I asked, how long until noon Pacific when I can
Speaker 1: have reason to get like, okay, where is it? And
Speaker 1: then his argument would be, which is logical because he's
Speaker 1: just a normal person, is why didn't you write me
Speaker 1: if you want? I would think I don't think that
Speaker 1: would be mine? Of like, don't do this game of
Speaker 1: like waiting. If you want it, now write me. Don't
Speaker 1: do tests. But let's not play a game like. This
Speaker 1: is not Let's not pretend this is man's holiday too.
Speaker 1: This is our day. Okay, let's not make any bones
Speaker 1: about it. I know we have to pretend we're all romantic.
Speaker 1: I come to find out I want romances. As Aanya
Speaker 1: puts on her lipstick, That's why I'm putting on my
Speaker 1: lipstick for you. I'm about to do it this one
Speaker 1: post for you. Thank you. I get it this one.
Speaker 1: If I died tragically, that's when everyone's gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get ever wanted in my life when I die tragically.
Speaker 1: This is such an irony that you get all the
Speaker 1: attention you love and crave, and all the love after
Speaker 1: you've been smashing the head by a log coming off
Speaker 1: of a truck or whatever it is. However you get
Speaker 1: taken out like that's when you get it all this.
Speaker 1: We toured the country together, we did podcasts together. We were, Oh,
Speaker 1: it would be amazing that. I hope I have Instagram
Speaker 1: in purgatory wherever I'm hanging out. If you're dead and
Speaker 1: everyone starts making your death about them, You're just like,
Speaker 1: I barely know that person, well a little. I mean,
Speaker 1: I would like everyone to be saddened by my death,
Speaker 1: for sure. I want some people to be like, because
Speaker 1: I've been saddened by people's death that because no matter
Speaker 1: how sad you are, you're making it about you, you know,
Speaker 1: like a person could be misconstrued as making it about you. Yes,
Speaker 1: but what people like top posts on Instagram are people
Speaker 1: that are on your like fifth tier of friends. You're like,
Speaker 1: I did a podcast with you once, and my boyfriend's
Speaker 1: on his fifth tier coming out of his eye. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't mind it, Like I kind of that. I've I've
Speaker 1: touched people who I barely know. I feel like most
Speaker 1: people who would mourn my loss would not know me.
Speaker 1: It would be like best. These are people that have
Speaker 1: never fans of mine because I feel like I'm a
Speaker 1: fan of people that if they died, I've felt extreme
Speaker 1: loss of people I've barely known or even I struggled
Speaker 1: with the Bob sagg and thing of like I don't
Speaker 1: know him as much as John Mayer knew him, or
Speaker 1: stay most or you know all these people, yet you
Speaker 1: face him. But I facetimed him for my show. That's
Speaker 1: the only reason you know that. Otherwise you wouldn't know
Speaker 1: the context of our relationship at all, and you probably
Speaker 1: would have been like, and what if I didn't FaceTime him,
Speaker 1: then I'm not allowed to be sad? Like where are
Speaker 1: the where does it count? You got a mutual admiration
Speaker 1: for one another, and I got to witness that in person.
Speaker 1: It was off air in an hallway at a radio station. Yes,
Speaker 1: but I'm just saying, where where do we draw the line?
Speaker 1: Where do we go? This person has no reason to
Speaker 1: be sad because this is where it gets into tricky
Speaker 1: territory for me, because I think you have a reasonably
Speaker 1: said I wouldn't bother me if people made my death
Speaker 1: about them. I guess is my can't tell people. I
Speaker 1: feel that's generous. Really, you like who have what what
Speaker 1: what kind of post would annoy you posthumously? For you
Speaker 1: if you saw someone post it, that's like a fifth
Speaker 1: tier friend. I mean, I get annoyed by people who
Speaker 1: don't know someone who died. And it's just like, here's
Speaker 1: a long monologue about the one time I met them
Speaker 1: in a hallway and they were so kind to me
Speaker 1: and they talked to me about my mom, and it's
Speaker 1: just like, Irene Kara. Really this, You're gonna make a
Speaker 1: three paragraph thing about Irene Kara, who doesn't even know
Speaker 1: you exist, and then chose that. I get why that's
Speaker 1: annoying because that person is so unseelf aware and making
Speaker 1: like doing a eulogy for like they write more about
Speaker 1: that person than their mom. But the reason they do
Speaker 1: is because they had a shitty mom that they don't
Speaker 1: want to write anything about. Can I add to Anya's
Speaker 1: so that Nikki? I get why that's not annoying. He
Speaker 1: would be annoying if the photo was of them doing
Speaker 1: like that lunge ass shot that Kirsten did the other day,
Speaker 1: And it's just an excuse to show the photo right
Speaker 1: where that's just well that yeah, that's photos of taken
Speaker 1: with me are of and I know that now because
Speaker 1: I take probably two photos after every show um with people,
Speaker 1: and those showed photos, I would say one one or
Speaker 1: two show up at the next show that that person
Speaker 1: sees me at. They print them up and they hang
Speaker 1: them on the wall and they have me sign them.
Speaker 1: So that's that's of use. The other ones, I probably
Speaker 1: think five people at most out of two posted on
Speaker 1: their Instagram story or tag me on it on their
Speaker 1: Instagram post. The other two forty four people waiting for
Speaker 1: me to die, because that's going to be a great Otherwise,
Speaker 1: what are you doing with the photo on your phone?
Speaker 1: Maybe they said, you know, like the it's not like
Speaker 1: they know they're waiting for me to die, but they
Speaker 1: I know the day that I died, They're gonna go
Speaker 1: what month was it we went to go see her,
Speaker 1: like putting it in their phone, like trying to find
Speaker 1: that picture. We've all done it. I've done it too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's because you're looking for identity, you're looking for connection,
Speaker 1: you're looking for people. You're an adult child of a
Speaker 1: of a you're an adult child of an emotionally immature parent,
Speaker 1: which is a book I'm reading right now that literally
Speaker 1: any bestie should read because if you are attracted to
Speaker 1: the words that I'm saying, ever, you probably had an
Speaker 1: emotionally immature parent. Doesn't mean they were a bad parent.
Speaker 1: It just means they had kids and they don't know
Speaker 1: how to like connect with them emotionally. And it's such
Speaker 1: a good book that I think a bestie recommended me
Speaker 1: and I'm flying through it and I love it, and
Speaker 1: it's I'm reading way more than one third of it
Speaker 1: and um really yeah, oh yeah, I'm like I'm halfway through. Um,
Speaker 1: it's it speaks to me like almost no other book has.
Speaker 1: And that's not to say that my parents were immature,
Speaker 1: except my dad would always go stop hitting yourself, stop
Speaker 1: hitting yourself, and go ying ying, yinging, And it sounds
Speaker 1: like that's emotionally imature. That's justoopy face. Yeah, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: just immature, emotionally immature. What are the qualifications for it?
Speaker 1: If you had an emotionally imature parents, Let me look
Speaker 1: at this up because they were kind of fascinating to me.
Speaker 1: Let me guess you want to guess, yeah, because I
Speaker 1: think mine, for sure, one of my everything is about them. First,
Speaker 1: Like this happened the other day. My dad came over
Speaker 1: to our condo. Matt and I are staying in a
Speaker 1: condo right above my parents, like two floors above them.
Speaker 1: My dad tested negative, Yeah, positive for COVID. He's on
Speaker 1: like day eight, okay. And it comes over and I'm
Speaker 1: like cheers in him. I go, God, damn, I cannot
Speaker 1: believe seven days ago you fucking had COVID and we're sick,
Speaker 1: and look at you now, you're amazing, you look so great,
Speaker 1: And I go, just for kicks, let me test you now,
Speaker 1: because it occurred to me. He tested himself and he's like,
Speaker 1: I'm negative, and he took the packs alvid, which everybody knows.
Speaker 1: You get rebounds off that it's very likely I had
Speaker 1: one of myself. He's done so much research on cod
Speaker 1: that none of one of the three people here knows. Ye,
Speaker 1: So I test him. Everyone knows COVID. You But what
Speaker 1: do you you bounce back? What are you talking about? Remember?
Speaker 1: I took packs alvid and I got sick again. I
Speaker 1: got do you feel great for a second and then
Speaker 1: you bounced back to feeling like shit again? Yes? And
Speaker 1: if you feel like shit, that means that if you
Speaker 1: test positive, though it doesn't necessarily mean you're contagious. Correct correct.
Speaker 1: Although people can give it like full, COVID comes back
Speaker 1: a lot of times when you take this pack anyway,
Speaker 1: so mine came back taking it. Some people get well,
Speaker 1: most people get well, okay, okay. Also, if you're like old,
Speaker 1: you know it's going to keep you from hospitalization and death.
Speaker 1: So I give my dad a test. He tests positive
Speaker 1: and he goes, fuck, and I'm like all right, and
Speaker 1: he goes, I do have kind of like sniffles that
Speaker 1: I noticed this morning, and I, you know, I feel
Speaker 1: worse today than yesterday. We're sitting there at the table
Speaker 1: and with Matt and then I go yeah, and he
Speaker 1: starts sneezing, and then Matt like looks at both of
Speaker 1: us like, are you guys crazy? Is put your mask on?
Speaker 1: You should put your mask on now. My dad's like, God,
Speaker 1: damn it, I'm so pissed. This ruins my day. I go,
Speaker 1: is any part of you at all right now worrying
Speaker 1: about like maybe getting other people sick? And he's like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, but that's his first instinct is my day
Speaker 1: is ruined, my week is ruined. Well, that's what was
Speaker 1: wrong with COVID was everyone cared about themselves and didn't
Speaker 1: care about other That was remember the height of it
Speaker 1: where no one was wearing a mask. It wasn't I
Speaker 1: And I even said in my stand up, I didn't
Speaker 1: wear a mask because I cared about getting COVID. Give
Speaker 1: it to me. It's like harpies. I just want to
Speaker 1: get it out of the way. I'm gonna get it eventually.
Speaker 1: I don't care give it to me. I'm not scared
Speaker 1: of it because I'm gross, and I'm not scared of sickness.
Speaker 1: I don't really get sick. You wear a mask for
Speaker 1: other people. And that was the problem with our country
Speaker 1: not being able to get on board with masks is
Speaker 1: because we don't care about each other. If you're poor,
Speaker 1: if you're different, if you're from a different part of town,
Speaker 1: we just don't care as much about each other. It's
Speaker 1: really it's just selfishness. But we're gonna go through the
Speaker 1: checklist because I found it in my phone on this
Speaker 1: book right after this, and you will be able to
Speaker 1: sess if your parents are emotionally immature and if maybe
Speaker 1: you should read this book for some a little good
Speaker 1: guidance and a little bit of letting yourself off the
Speaker 1: hook for some of your behaviors and attractions to people
Speaker 1: that you have because you were raised with emotionally immature parents,
Speaker 1: which is not an indictment on them. They were also
Speaker 1: raised by emotionally immature people because it's something you passed down.
Speaker 1: Let's break the cycle after this, but we'll be right there. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're back. So do you have emotionally immature parents? Here's
Speaker 1: the checklist. Read through the following statements and check that
Speaker 1: any that describe your parents. My parents often overreacted two
Speaker 1: relatively minor things. Are we let's all just do this
Speaker 1: right now. Okay, just to keep pick one either one
Speaker 1: or both parents. Okay, so it's it's a yes if
Speaker 1: it's even one of your parents. My parents often overreacted
Speaker 1: to relatively minor things. My parents didn't express much empathy
Speaker 1: or emotional awareness when it comes to emotional closeness and feelings.
Speaker 1: My parents seem uncomfortable and didn't go there. Absolutely, yes,
Speaker 1: my parents often my parents or parents were often irritated
Speaker 1: by individual differences or different points of view. Hell yes,
Speaker 1: when I when I was growing up, my parents used
Speaker 1: me as a confidant, but wasn't a confidant for me.
Speaker 1: My parents often said and did things without thinking about
Speaker 1: other people's feelings. Yes, I didn't get much attention or
Speaker 1: sympathy from my parents, except maybe when I was really sick. Yes,
Speaker 1: my parent was inconsistent, sometimes wise, sometimes unreasonable. If I
Speaker 1: became upset, my parents either said something superficial and unhelpful
Speaker 1: or got angry and sarcastic. Again, if I became upset,
Speaker 1: my parents either said something superficial and unhelpful or angry
Speaker 1: and sarcastic, or got angry. Um conversations mostly centered on
Speaker 1: my parents interests. Even polite disagreement could could make my
Speaker 1: parents very defensive. Polite disagreement very defensive. If it was
Speaker 1: deflating to tell my parents about successes because it didn't
Speaker 1: seem to matter. That one doesn't. I don't relate to
Speaker 1: it at all. You relate to that one, it's not
Speaker 1: my parents. Would my parents would get rid of jealous
Speaker 1: of my success, No way. He would immediately he would
Speaker 1: be so happy for me. But the next thing out
Speaker 1: of his mouth would be, you know, I've never had
Speaker 1: that kind of an audience. Oh, he'd be like, that's incredible,
Speaker 1: I've never It would always be about him. The next
Speaker 1: thing facts and oh, years would be judgmental, right, like
Speaker 1: you would never there would never be any praise. It
Speaker 1: would just be like, oh, well, you know that didn't happen.
Speaker 1: Or they would just point out if you got it,
Speaker 1: if you've got something good happen to you, they would
Speaker 1: point out like there was a well it's not that
Speaker 1: big of a deal because it was just like they
Speaker 1: would minimize it. Yes, facts and logic. That's one I
Speaker 1: did not ever have to my knowledge. Maybe subconsciously something
Speaker 1: was going on, but my parents were your parents that
Speaker 1: love to talk about you and recognize every little thing.
Speaker 1: The Texas Weekend actually of like your dad is so
Speaker 1: proud of you. He gets tears in his eyes. You
Speaker 1: said something he does, he gets he beams. He literally beams,
Speaker 1: like yesterday I met him briefly, will not say why.
Speaker 1: And it was a cloudy day. What Okay, I know why.
Speaker 1: I know why you're saying that, but it sounds suspicious.
Speaker 1: He was helping her in a week or two. Okay,
Speaker 1: you were handing him a file in a parking lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah okay, Um, it was not a drug exchange, and
Speaker 1: it was cloudy and um, you know it was just
Speaker 1: like a quick thing. And then he like brings, brings
Speaker 1: up your name, and he literally like the sun came out.
Speaker 1: He was just beaming, just rating he talks about you.
Speaker 1: He loves you so much, so he does, he really does.
Speaker 1: But it often is like I wish my mom could
Speaker 1: see you. And I take that as like he just
Speaker 1: wants to show me off, like look what I did.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like it's that means a
Speaker 1: lot to me, and I know he would go like,
Speaker 1: I just want my mom to see you, because I
Speaker 1: think she'd be proud. But there's a part of me
Speaker 1: that's like, and I get it. If I had kids
Speaker 1: and they accomplished amazing things, I would desperately want my
Speaker 1: dad to see it, to be like, Dad, look what
Speaker 1: I made, that did this thing. You know there's a
Speaker 1: little you want the praise. I would I want the
Speaker 1: praise of, like, look at this amazing child you made.
Speaker 1: And I think when people go it's a little bit
Speaker 1: of my worry about adopting is that my parents, if
Speaker 1: the kid is amazing, they'll be like, well, wherever you
Speaker 1: got the kid, good job, then that's my parents child,
Speaker 1: Like it had nothing to do with you. But if
Speaker 1: it's your blood, like any time there's anything wrong with
Speaker 1: like anything off going on with nieces and nephews. It's like, well,
Speaker 1: maybe that's mad side of the family. You know, maybe
Speaker 1: they it's like it's like it's never their blood, like
Speaker 1: like we can even help our genes to begin with,
Speaker 1: like whatever, d n A. It's and and I mean
Speaker 1: that's that's not a conversation that really comes up ever.
Speaker 1: But whenever there's like a behavioral problem, it's like, you
Speaker 1: guys weren't like that, and you know, maybe it's just
Speaker 1: something that you know, the other side of the family.
Speaker 1: Like I could just tell if I had adopted kids,
Speaker 1: there would be a lot of well she shouldn't have
Speaker 1: adopted that kid's kind of going crazy against um. Conversely,
Speaker 1: Matt's mom does this thing all the time where she's like, well,
Speaker 1: your talent is because of Jesus, and he's like, my
Speaker 1: talent is not anything to do the thing. Oh god,
Speaker 1: that's so yeah. She's always like, well, you gotta thank
Speaker 1: Jesus for all that. He's like, do I She's not
Speaker 1: wrong because you can't really attribute nothing you do is you.
Speaker 1: You guys know, I don't believe in free will. Nothing
Speaker 1: you you don't choose your thoughts you don't choose your motivations.
Speaker 1: If you're someone who like practice guitar a lot and
Speaker 1: became a virtuous so you didn't choose the brain that
Speaker 1: was you were born with too good at guitar. I
Speaker 1: know it feels like you're like, but I chose every
Speaker 1: day to play music. You didn't. You just got born
Speaker 1: with a brain that is good at practication. Wants to
Speaker 1: take away any kind of talent. It's not not but
Speaker 1: I want to give it to science. She wants to
Speaker 1: give it to a guy on across. I'm sure, but yeah, um,
Speaker 1: it was deflating to tell me. Okay, so facts and
Speaker 1: logic were no match for my parents opinions my parents.
Speaker 1: My parent wasn't self reflective and rarely looked at his
Speaker 1: or her role in a problem. My parents tended to
Speaker 1: be black and white, be a black and white thinker,
Speaker 1: and unreceptive to new ideas. Okay, So if you listen
Speaker 1: to this checklist listener, and even one of those statements
Speaker 1: you said yes too, you could potentially be a child
Speaker 1: of a emotionally immature parent, because even one of those
Speaker 1: is enough to damage a kid in a way that
Speaker 1: will lead to lots of behavioral problems later on in
Speaker 1: your life that will suck up your life forever until
Speaker 1: you learn to like go against that. And it's not
Speaker 1: because your parents were bad. I have the best parents
Speaker 1: in the world, but they were twenty five when they
Speaker 1: had me, and they had parents that never listened to them,
Speaker 1: weren't around alcoholics, Like there's no way they were equipped
Speaker 1: to handle a little sensitive child's emotions all the time.
Speaker 1: And if I had a child, I would also probably
Speaker 1: be emotionally immature for that child as well, because we're
Speaker 1: all flawed. So this isn't a book that you buy
Speaker 1: and then you like hate your mom. It's like you
Speaker 1: don't even have to tell your mom about it, even
Speaker 1: though your mom might listen to your podcast. And here
Speaker 1: you go off this checklist and say, I was very
Speaker 1: hurt by that checklist. When have I been defensive about anything?
Speaker 1: I always support you know, I got a total of five,
Speaker 1: which I thought it would be more like twenty, but
Speaker 1: I got five. Yeah, I got like, yeah, I got
Speaker 1: enough where I said, Okay. Then you read the book
Speaker 1: and you just read the patterns of like people, people pleasers.
Speaker 1: They put their own feelings aside for someone else. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's all it's all a codependency, it's all kind of adult. Also,
Speaker 1: this could all fit for adult children of alcoholics, but
Speaker 1: I think this is a more helpful thing because I
Speaker 1: think a lot of kids here I'm not going to
Speaker 1: read about being an adult child of alcoholic because my
Speaker 1: parent didn't drink or my parent was never drunk around me.
Speaker 1: They can't associate their parents or their parents hasn't qualified
Speaker 1: as an alcohol to alcohol it to them, and so
Speaker 1: they don't know. This is like something to wrap your
Speaker 1: head around so you can know it's not your fault
Speaker 1: whatever it is that you are and do, which I
Speaker 1: think is most of therapy is learning it's not your fault.
Speaker 1: And then when you're able to think of things is
Speaker 1: not your fault, I think you're able to get over
Speaker 1: them more Like on you, you were suffering this weekend
Speaker 1: with like a thing, and you're like, as long as
Speaker 1: you like let yourself off the hook for it, because
Speaker 1: you were, without getting into specifics, you were saying, like
Speaker 1: I realized I'm just fucking crazy sometimes and like I
Speaker 1: can't control my thoughts around this thing. How did you
Speaker 1: did you feel like that was acceptance or that was
Speaker 1: judgmental of like you're crazy. In the moment, it felt heartbreaking, Like, God,
Speaker 1: I work so hard on myself and I'm just as
Speaker 1: crazy as you know. I'm around my family right now,
Speaker 1: so I get caught up in the toxic cycles of
Speaker 1: like an old dynamic. I'm sure a lot of people
Speaker 1: can relate. So I felt heartbroken, and then I was like,
Speaker 1: it's okay because I do have so many tools, and
Speaker 1: when I take one step back from these people, a
Speaker 1: loving step back, I am not crazy anymore. Like I am,
Speaker 1: I am temporarily insane. And someone said something to me
Speaker 1: so great, I've already told you this, nicky, But no,
Speaker 1: I maybe I haven't told you. I've been holding onto
Speaker 1: this adage. Boundaries are the distance between me and you
Speaker 1: where I can love myself and still love you. So
Speaker 1: I have these like loving boundaries. People don't seem to
Speaker 1: like them, but I have them so that I can
Speaker 1: be nice to you and myself and so I can
Speaker 1: still have you. Yeah, I have a thing. I don't
Speaker 1: love people staying over at my house for more than
Speaker 1: four days. Four days max, God, Well, Chris and I
Speaker 1: do this thing where like I only want to see
Speaker 1: him if he's in a good mood. That I can nurse,
Speaker 1: you know, like, if he's in a bad mood needs
Speaker 1: to talk about things, babe, I'm there for you. But
Speaker 1: if you're tired, hungry, let's go. I mean, if you're
Speaker 1: what's it called dirt or something, halt halt, it's the
Speaker 1: acronymic halt, dick, halt, hungry, angry, lonely, tired. That's usually
Speaker 1: what people are like, um, but there's a there's a
Speaker 1: lot of times where I'm just like I. I can
Speaker 1: hear that he's not in the best moon, and I
Speaker 1: know the kind of mood he's in where he wants
Speaker 1: to talk about it and like he has to work
Speaker 1: through something, and I know the type of mood where
Speaker 1: he's just doesn't want things aren't going to go well
Speaker 1: between us. And I also have those moods too, where
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but
Speaker 1: don't come over tonight because it's not This isn't going
Speaker 1: to move our needle forward in our relationship. This is
Speaker 1: only going to take away. But there's the illusion of
Speaker 1: like being together that gives people. If you're not with
Speaker 1: the person they think you're, you don't love them. But
Speaker 1: it's like I love you. That's why I'm not hanging
Speaker 1: out with you tonight, as I want to maintain how
Speaker 1: I like you because I am not. I am walking
Speaker 1: on a tight rope of my own emotions. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: fall off it and I'm going to hurt you. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna hurt you like I need to protect you from me. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm a toxic train in Ohio or wherever that was
Speaker 1: that burning day away FLEs there. It's terrifying. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's I as someone who is definitely a
Speaker 1: crazy person and can have my moods and act everything
Speaker 1: around me like like an infection. I have to quarantine
Speaker 1: myself from people. I should put on masks when I'm
Speaker 1: in a sour mood, and it sucks sometimes because you
Speaker 1: gotta record a podcast or you gotta sucking. Podcasts are
Speaker 1: the hardest thing for me because there's no allusion. There's
Speaker 1: no I don't put on a face for a podcast.
Speaker 1: If I did, it would show up that I was
Speaker 1: putting on a face. A podcast is some If I was,
Speaker 1: you know, in a bad mood today and I had
Speaker 1: to do this podcast, you would sense it. There would
Speaker 1: be like a fucking you know you. It was last
Speaker 1: year yesterday's podcast. I was sad and I but if
Speaker 1: I was shooting a commercial, I could have snapped out
Speaker 1: of it because everything's a facade and it's like welcome
Speaker 1: to Holiday and Express or whatever the funk I'm promoting.
Speaker 1: I can put that. I can put a cape over
Speaker 1: my feelings. But if I'm in a situation like a
Speaker 1: podcast where it's like I'm myself and there's no I
Speaker 1: don't even know what an edifice would be here if
Speaker 1: I were to put one on. Believe me, I put
Speaker 1: someone before on rough episodes that we've had to just
Speaker 1: because of relationship things going on. But if it's just
Speaker 1: us three, I'm not going to be able to put that.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what that would be, to be
Speaker 1: fake around you guys and be like everything's great. This
Speaker 1: more like it just doesn't. So that's where I get
Speaker 1: into rocky territories when I'm forced to do things where
Speaker 1: I get to be myself and I and I have
Speaker 1: to just and then it's almost like, um, like there
Speaker 1: are days I would choose not to do a podcast
Speaker 1: because I'm in a bad mood. But you but you
Speaker 1: have to go to work or you would choose not
Speaker 1: to go to your s SDJ. You're still sucking day
Speaker 1: job because you're in a bad mood. You should be
Speaker 1: able to call in sick mentally to things. I don't
Speaker 1: think we're ever close to that happening, But I really
Speaker 1: resent that everyone gets to be like cold today and
Speaker 1: I can't be like I want to jump off my
Speaker 1: balcony today. So I don't think I can make it
Speaker 1: to my dentist appointment, like I want to be able
Speaker 1: to say that which I did say to myst wouldn't
Speaker 1: be my dent dentists would now he'd be like, without
Speaker 1: those that amount of work that you need to have done.
Speaker 1: Now I'm getting bonding on I'm bonding with my dentist.
Speaker 1: It's is it? My calendar is dentist bonding? Because I
Speaker 1: wrote it in tomorrow I was excited a meat over
Speaker 1: a campfire. Yeah we're gonna hold hands and talk about
Speaker 1: our emotionally unavailable parents. Um. Yeah, we're gonna do trust
Speaker 1: falls out in the woods. Um, so I'm bonding with
Speaker 1: my dentist tomorrow. Who's Scott Baculus, nephew? No, just name dropped, No,
Speaker 1: not big deal. Dr Baculus shout out, Yeah he really is. Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's just though I wish that you could.
Speaker 1: Um I did. I mean I've called in. I've called
Speaker 1: in depressed to things but before and then, but I
Speaker 1: always do it when I know the person is going
Speaker 1: to be very understanding and like kind of gets it.
Speaker 1: And it also talk about bonding if you tell someone
Speaker 1: that you're depressed and you like open up to them
Speaker 1: about that, like I can't make it today, like I'm depressed. Man,
Speaker 1: is that like just it? I did it for my
Speaker 1: vocal coach the other day, Like I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: too depressed to meet I'm sorry, I'm not gonna lie
Speaker 1: and say anything else, like I just I'm having horrible
Speaker 1: thoughts today. And the next session we were like all
Speaker 1: we did was talking about that kind of stuff and
Speaker 1: like bonded so much because it was like instead of
Speaker 1: me being like I'm busy or I don't feel very
Speaker 1: good today, it just cut through the ship. And if
Speaker 1: we could be more open about being depressed or those thoughts,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't feel like such a weirdo sometimes because it
Speaker 1: seems like I have a chronic disease. That's just like
Speaker 1: go for a walk around the block. And that's how
Speaker 1: you solve it, Nikki. And it's just like, well this,
Speaker 1: if I could do that, I would. I can't walk
Speaker 1: around like you know what I mean. I just don't
Speaker 1: think other people cancer doesn't get this kind of like
Speaker 1: you know, just try harder make your bed every morning,
Speaker 1: Like tell a cancer patient that, like that's the kind
Speaker 1: of thing I'm feel like I'm up against some days.
Speaker 1: Is like an actual physical illness, but it does you know,
Speaker 1: and everyone knows this about mental illness is that it
Speaker 1: doesn't get the same respect that physical illness does because
Speaker 1: it seems like a choice. Um. But I'm just like
Speaker 1: the more and more I suffer with it, um, and
Speaker 1: it is stuff that There's also obviously stuff I can do.
Speaker 1: Like sometimes people get lung cancer and you go, why
Speaker 1: are you still smoking? It's like okay, yeah, put down
Speaker 1: the cigarettes. There's things I can definitely do, um and
Speaker 1: try to do. But I do wish that we can
Speaker 1: get to a point as a society where you could
Speaker 1: call in sick, or you can also just make say
Speaker 1: that you were molested and then people go, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: sorry I didn't know that, and you could be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why I was late or whatever. I just it's
Speaker 1: a new joke. I'm working on my act. But I
Speaker 1: think you should casually be able to say you were
Speaker 1: molested and have people if you forgive you yeah, well
Speaker 1: yeah if you were if you were molested, I think
Speaker 1: it should be as easy to admit as saying I
Speaker 1: had my hair like or as shameful I guess as
Speaker 1: being like I had botox or so I don't know,
Speaker 1: or like I I my car hydroplaned, and like sometimes
Speaker 1: you feel it fault for like like the amount of
Speaker 1: shame you have for getting in a car accident, because
Speaker 1: that's some people do a shame about card, since that's
Speaker 1: what I mean, like a little bit maybe, which I
Speaker 1: think you should have zero, but we'll never expect that
Speaker 1: out of anyone because we're a country of shame. But
Speaker 1: being molest it should seem like you just got hit
Speaker 1: by a car or something like it's a car accident
Speaker 1: and you had the right of way to walk and
Speaker 1: you didn't know. But instead because if someone was like
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I I'm if they kept being late for
Speaker 1: meetings or zoomings or something and they were like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I was lost as a kid, I'm really fucked, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, oh, okay, yeah, well I'm glad you even
Speaker 1: can function, or like if they're like my dad beat
Speaker 1: me severely, Like I think people should be able to
Speaker 1: like kind of give their mental illness history or like
Speaker 1: they're child abuse history without it being so heavy. I
Speaker 1: wish definitely never seen since you started talking more about
Speaker 1: botox and filler, I've seen way more people start doing
Speaker 1: that too. I'm not saying you started it, but you're
Speaker 1: define so open about it. Like five years ago or
Speaker 1: maybe even longer, but nobody it was not cool to
Speaker 1: talk about that openly. I feel like it's still something people.
Speaker 1: Yeah people still yeah, keep it very secret. But that's
Speaker 1: a really good comparison those two things. Like people have
Speaker 1: less shame than they did five ten years ago aout
Speaker 1: admitting the botox, And I always compared botox to getting
Speaker 1: your hair died, Like it used to be shameful to
Speaker 1: get your hair highlighted, like women used to like hide,
Speaker 1: like go secretly at night like they were they wouldn't
Speaker 1: talk about it, and it was rude to say did
Speaker 1: you get highlights? Yes, exactly, and that we don't even
Speaker 1: know that there's your natural although you know that's a game.
Speaker 1: What in the book the game that's an egg like
Speaker 1: that because those written. But it wouldn't be an egg
Speaker 1: now because you'd be like, of course it's not natural.
Speaker 1: You take out your hair and be like, no, it's
Speaker 1: from a woman in India, this isn't mine. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: that I wanted to be. I like, yeah, I would
Speaker 1: like things to be a little bit more just transparent,
Speaker 1: I guess, just honest and transparent, um than they are.
Speaker 1: But it's just, you know, not that way I was yesterday.
Speaker 1: I was at a very um high pressure event all
Speaker 1: day long. I was at um Cynthia Rowley fashion show.
Speaker 1: Because it's fashion Week in New York, which is my
Speaker 1: least favorite week. I forgot that it was that. Do
Speaker 1: you guys remember fashion Week when you lived in New
Speaker 1: York and just like you and I lived together, our
Speaker 1: street was a major hub before it because there are
Speaker 1: tons of galleries and they would have shows on two.
Speaker 1: It's just like, yeah, and it's just like an alien
Speaker 1: start ship lands in Manhattan and lets off a bunch
Speaker 1: of seven foot tall people cats cats, seven foot tall,
Speaker 1: lengthy vertical cats and they walk around, yes, and they
Speaker 1: they truly look so I mean, I saw a model
Speaker 1: yesterday at this thing and she was probably six ft two,
Speaker 1: very thin, and I was like, well, and she was.
Speaker 1: I saw her taking pictures. She was stunning, had a
Speaker 1: gorgeous body, gorgeous face. But then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's the awkward tall girl in high school. These models
Speaker 1: are not like hot in high school. She was like
Speaker 1: on the volleyball team. Maybe it was probably really good
Speaker 1: social studies student. Like this girl. I just saw her
Speaker 1: for like, she's this supermodel, Like I don't know about
Speaker 1: super but you know she's special. She's special model and
Speaker 1: m she uh she wasn't the super Bowl of models.
Speaker 1: She was like the Orange Bowl of Models or whatever,
Speaker 1: um Dorito's Bowl and she but I just saw she
Speaker 1: was like a high school dork, which most models are
Speaker 1: like kind of dorks, you know. But um, I was
Speaker 1: at this event and it was a bunch of comedians
Speaker 1: Ego from UM s N who's hilarious, uh, Rosebud Baker,
Speaker 1: Rachel Feinstein, Claudia oh Sary, I want to say she's
Speaker 1: a girl with no job on Instagram. Um and then
Speaker 1: esther Coup, Michelle boto Art and Mirren and we were
Speaker 1: all doing this UM the show where we got like
Speaker 1: we went I went to a fitting yesterday. We have
Speaker 1: two looks, one for our stand up set, which was
Speaker 1: five minutes long, which, by the way, if you do
Speaker 1: stand up, like no one knows how to do a
Speaker 1: five minutes that We were all like, what is that even?
Speaker 1: Like you would just go out and say Hi, my
Speaker 1: name is NICKI and I'm an alcohol Like what do
Speaker 1: you even say for five minutes that It's like, unhurt.
Speaker 1: I haven't done five minutes since I did the Tonight show.
Speaker 1: Like I was making jokes with Rachel, like you have
Speaker 1: to submit your set to Michael Cox by four pm,
Speaker 1: like for standards and practices, because it was like that's
Speaker 1: who you know, get you on this tonight show. But
Speaker 1: it was just like it was a short amount of time,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't about comedy, was more but but Cynthia
Speaker 1: Raley kepting like, no, it's about the comedy. It's not
Speaker 1: about the fashion. We're like, no, we are all wearing
Speaker 1: outfits we would never fucking were outside of this. We
Speaker 1: looked amazing the fashion. I love Cynthia Rowley. Thank god
Speaker 1: I got asked to do a fashion show earlier this
Speaker 1: year that was happening in Paris that a lot of
Speaker 1: comedians did. You can look it up, but I'm not
Speaker 1: going to say who it was. I turned it down
Speaker 1: because I thought the designs were so hideous, like I
Speaker 1: couldn't find one thing in this collection, and you will
Speaker 1: know it when you see it, when you go see
Speaker 1: find the comedians that did this fashion show. I don't
Speaker 1: know how this person. I'm sorry, artists subjective, but not
Speaker 1: this art It is objectively bad. I don't know how
Speaker 1: anyone would ever wear any of the ship And it
Speaker 1: was all like the coolest guys in comedy too, which
Speaker 1: made me laugh that they have to wear these ridiculous
Speaker 1: outfits even though they're like bad boys of comedy. And
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see a couple of them to
Speaker 1: mock them for it, because they must have felt so
Speaker 1: uncomfortable doing this fashion show. But I got us. I
Speaker 1: turned that down because I was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to wear any of these clothes. Cynthia Rally, my god,
Speaker 1: is like one of my favorite designers anyway. She's like
Speaker 1: someone who's dresses I wear all the time, and um
Speaker 1: so I was so excited I got to meet her.
Speaker 1: I also saw her daughter on The Bachelor. The daughter
Speaker 1: kid was on one of the butts, so I liked
Speaker 1: I liked her daughter, so I knew her mom would
Speaker 1: be cool. She was so fucking cool, so normal, so nice.
Speaker 1: Someone I'm like, literally truly could be friends with. And
Speaker 1: I don't say that about everyone. Like if she was
Speaker 1: just like a kind of like a what you would
Speaker 1: like an Anna Wintour type, I'd be like, she was amazing.
Speaker 1: She's so such an artist, like I would just say
Speaker 1: that cursory thing. This woman was actually the real deal,
Speaker 1: so cool and um went to a fitting yesterday which
Speaker 1: was super easy, and I thought it was going to
Speaker 1: be like very uncomfortable, but it was in like her
Speaker 1: studio with like all of her like people that are
Speaker 1: working there. And then they have like a little shop
Speaker 1: up front with some stuff, and I got to wear
Speaker 1: this like red number and then this other white dress
Speaker 1: with these boots that's just fantastic, and multiple outfits because
Speaker 1: we had like a curtain call look at the end
Speaker 1: and then so but backstage we had to get there
Speaker 1: at Here's how quickly I do my hair and makeup.
Speaker 1: If I'm going on stage, I can be full hair
Speaker 1: and makeup, total glam from the time I get out
Speaker 1: of the shower too, walking on stage forty minutes to
Speaker 1: blow dry everything. I'm fast when I get my hair
Speaker 1: and makeup done with my team an hour and a half,
Speaker 1: because even that's fast for me for most people because
Speaker 1: they are usually like they need to a half hours.
Speaker 1: We were there at our Carlton was three thirty. We
Speaker 1: didn't go on until eight, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't need to get there fifteen hours early. But but
Speaker 1: I wasn't in charge of the day we're there, like
Speaker 1: it was kind of like the no one and no
Speaker 1: one should put their foot down because we were all
Speaker 1: equals that day, like no one's I'm not going to
Speaker 1: be a devon and show up at six when everyone
Speaker 1: else has been there since four. But we're all getting
Speaker 1: ready in the same room. We're all that just like
Speaker 1: there's different stations and it's just like you go here,
Speaker 1: you go there. And I realized in this process the
Speaker 1: on the fashion side of things amazing. Treated like a princess.
Speaker 1: I love Cynthia Raley. I love the people that she
Speaker 1: works with. It was so fun. Makeup and hair side
Speaker 1: of things a little bit commoditized, like if that's a
Speaker 1: word you I realized with a I have a friend
Speaker 1: who's a model, sayer Lena, and I always when she
Speaker 1: talks about her day's modeling, she does and I've heard
Speaker 1: this before from other people too, is that models are
Speaker 1: just treated like objects, like they're just objectified, like they're
Speaker 1: talked about in front of each other, like people will
Speaker 1: just be like, this needs to come in. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: her waist is spilling over that this is not gonna fit.
Speaker 1: She looks tired, like they'll they'll talk about you, like
Speaker 1: your car that they're working on, and you forget that
Speaker 1: you're there. Whereas as a comedian in a makeup chair,
Speaker 1: I sit down, I go I okay, So I really
Speaker 1: like a dark eyebrow with like a sharp edge on
Speaker 1: the um on the front. I don't want them to
Speaker 1: look like a little round sperms. I like uh eyeliner
Speaker 1: in the waterline. I like um full lashes, but not
Speaker 1: too full like false eyelashes. I like mascara on the bottom.
Speaker 1: I do not like any kind of eyeliner on the bottom.
Speaker 1: I like a thin line on the top. I like
Speaker 1: a wing. I like really like pinky blush. I like
Speaker 1: a slight contour on chin. And then um, cheek, I
Speaker 1: like know exactly what I want because I've been doing
Speaker 1: this forever and I swear to God. The guy goes, wow, okay,
Speaker 1: do you know what you want? Like offended, because when
Speaker 1: you're a model, you just sit in a chair and
Speaker 1: get makeup done. There's no mirror in front of you,
Speaker 1: so you can be like, um, can you actually just
Speaker 1: you get your makeup done, and then you don't get
Speaker 1: to look at and go I like it or not.
Speaker 1: You just moved to the next station. And by the
Speaker 1: end of the night, Rachel had overheard someone commenting about
Speaker 1: some outfit. She'll have to tell it next time she's
Speaker 1: on the podcast. I think it's gonna go in her
Speaker 1: act because she heard someone's saying, we need to find
Speaker 1: an we uh, we need to find another dress for
Speaker 1: Esther and they go, no, Esther looks great. Rachel's probably something.
Speaker 1: It was like Rachel heard with an earshot, like we
Speaker 1: need to fix like, which is Rachel's biggest fear in
Speaker 1: life is that she's like a problem and like and
Speaker 1: it was not the case at all. Rachel looked amazing,
Speaker 1: but like we kept all each of us overhearing little
Speaker 1: things where we weren't where we were like, and then
Speaker 1: the second you start feeling like a model, Like the
Speaker 1: second you're like, have all your glam and you have
Speaker 1: your fucking awesome outfit that's so tight and looks so good,
Speaker 1: and your shoes and you look tall and you look leggy.
Speaker 1: Then in walks this model. We don't even know why
Speaker 1: they brought in a model. We don't even know what
Speaker 1: she did. She was just there to make us realize,
Speaker 1: you know, you are not know if you were starting
Speaker 1: to think that you are a model. Look over there
Speaker 1: at that woman who is a foot taller than you,
Speaker 1: forty pounds lighter than you, wearing that thing like she
Speaker 1: was born in it, with the cheek bone, the cheek
Speaker 1: structure of I don't know, gollum, Like this is you're
Speaker 1: you're nowhere close to her and they you know, I
Speaker 1: just jokes to examine these clowns. It was weird, which
Speaker 1: we didn't even know why she was there. I introduced
Speaker 1: myself to her. I was like taking pictures of her
Speaker 1: because she was so pretty. She was like doing a
Speaker 1: shoot and I was behind the photographer being like is
Speaker 1: this weird that I'm taking? Like you're captivating and I
Speaker 1: want to learn poses. I was making jokes, like at
Speaker 1: one point we were backstage and there was like a
Speaker 1: bowl of mints and someone was and the mints were
Speaker 1: all eaten, and someone was like, wow, someone like those mints.
Speaker 1: And I was like model dinner, and I was just
Speaker 1: like making jokes like that. They did give us a
Speaker 1: really good food, They treated us awesome. I mean, it
Speaker 1: was just a really long day and I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: It sets women up to be competitive when you have
Speaker 1: seven women on a show, all comedians from different genres
Speaker 1: of comedy, like we're talking sketch, we're talking stand up,
Speaker 1: we're talking TikTok, and then you all have to do
Speaker 1: five minute it's. And everyone who loved that show was like,
Speaker 1: I like this person best. I like this person like
Speaker 1: you can't go to a comedy show without ranking everyone
Speaker 1: who you liked the best. And I'm not talking about
Speaker 1: my comedy shows because I have maybe two or three
Speaker 1: comics at most on them. And you're gonna like me
Speaker 1: the best. You should because I do the most of
Speaker 1: my time. And if you like someone more than me,
Speaker 1: it's because they did a shorter amount of time and
Speaker 1: they got to do their best jokes, whereas I had
Speaker 1: to boo a bunch of jokes, I had to do
Speaker 1: an hour. So this whole idea of like, I'd like
Speaker 1: to opener better eight minutes, he did eight minutes. You
Speaker 1: might maybe you should, but also maybe you just do
Speaker 1: and not he, she, anyone. It's just like that's a
Speaker 1: common thing in comedy where you'll be the headliner and
Speaker 1: that you'll see the opener. Someone go you were the best,
Speaker 1: and you go, oh, really because I did an hour
Speaker 1: in fourteen minutes and he did eight. So maybe don't
Speaker 1: say that in front of me with an earshot because
Speaker 1: you know I can hear it. But you get to
Speaker 1: play like, oh, I was just there. I just really
Speaker 1: resonated with. But but that's not he or she. I'm
Speaker 1: not talking about Andrew specifically or anyone that it's happened with.
Speaker 1: Andrew used happened to me as an opener. People would
Speaker 1: say it in front of to you know what, in
Speaker 1: front of headliners to me and go like you were
Speaker 1: actually and I'm like, I did twenty minutes and they
Speaker 1: did an hour twenty of course you're gonna like me more.
Speaker 1: I leave I left you wanting more. Um. But it
Speaker 1: was just like a competitive day because we all I
Speaker 1: went out on stage and I was like, are we're models?
Speaker 1: You guys were models? Like are you loving this comedy
Speaker 1: show from a bunch of models? I go, We're not models.
Speaker 1: We all are very deeply uncomfortable with the setting. The
Speaker 1: reason we got into this is because we're not good
Speaker 1: at this. And the whole audience was influencers. I mean,
Speaker 1: it was all fashioned, but they were a great audience.
Speaker 1: It was really a great show. It was so fun.
Speaker 1: I talked about like a girl falling in a fire
Speaker 1: and how I like loved that, like I did. I did.
Speaker 1: There was one there was a little bit of heckling
Speaker 1: going on and people kept going like because I was like,
Speaker 1: am I hot? You guys like I need to feel hot.
Speaker 1: I need to be hot, And people kept going like
Speaker 1: you're what you're so? And I go because I'm rich,
Speaker 1: and it was it's rich or d n A. That's
Speaker 1: all it is. If you're averagealous of someone, it's because
Speaker 1: they're rich and they can afford something you can't, or
Speaker 1: their mom was hot, or their dad had good legs.
Speaker 1: That's it. And it was just so freeing to scream
Speaker 1: at all these trendy people, to be like stop and
Speaker 1: scream it myself. I mean, it's honestly, like I'm telling myself,
Speaker 1: Like when I get jealous of people, I always have
Speaker 1: to remember it's because their dad or mom had good
Speaker 1: genes or they had the money to do a certain treatment.
Speaker 1: And that's where I start beating myself up, is like
Speaker 1: I'm not doing the right treatments. That's where I start going, Oh,
Speaker 1: I need to do this and that. I want to
Speaker 1: talk about Rihanna's super Bowl when we come back. And
Speaker 1: I also want to talk about something with Olivia Wilde
Speaker 1: that came up after the super Bowl and get your
Speaker 1: guys thoughts on that. So we'll talk about that when
Speaker 1: we get back. All right, we're back. Um, how do
Speaker 1: you guys feel about rihanna super Bowl halftime show? I
Speaker 1: mean we're a little late to it, but I do
Speaker 1: want to give my take. I loved it. I love her,
Speaker 1: That's all I have to say. She could in my book,
Speaker 1: she can do wrong in mine, because I've read about
Speaker 1: her fenty line and how it course people into like
Speaker 1: signing up for like way more money than like a membership,
Speaker 1: and then they like their bank accounts were drained by
Speaker 1: this thing and that all her clothes are made in sweatshops,
Speaker 1: and she's a billionaire, so she's definitely done some things
Speaker 1: that are shady, and you know she's bullied people online
Speaker 1: that I didn't care for that kind of stuff. But man,
Speaker 1: can that girl sing? And man, that performance. If you
Speaker 1: think it was boring, you're boring. You. You're someone who
Speaker 1: needs too much stimulation. You're boring. Look at yourself if
Speaker 1: you thought that, If you've left that performance is boring,
Speaker 1: it's because you are boring you probably, And I get it,
Speaker 1: like there are times where I am a boring person
Speaker 1: too that I'm like, I want more like Pizzazz. We
Speaker 1: needed nothing thing more from her. Those stages moving were
Speaker 1: great enough. The dance sequences. Even though people were joking
Speaker 1: about how she wasn't moving a lot, she fucking ended
Speaker 1: up moving a lot. Maybe she started out slow, but
Speaker 1: there and she's also pregnant and she's singing. Yeah, she
Speaker 1: wasn't singing in some parts she was and like, yes,
Speaker 1: they were agreed, but they there was tracks, but also
Speaker 1: she was singing over track but she um but which
Speaker 1: is fine. I don't even fault that when people are
Speaker 1: like she was lips singing or whatever it's like. But
Speaker 1: at least she sang that live at some point recently
Speaker 1: into a microphone, and it sounded like live to me.
Speaker 1: It didn't sound like two souped up or like too
Speaker 1: many effects on it. It sounded live. So whether she
Speaker 1: did it there or another time, I don't care. It
Speaker 1: was recent enough. This girl has not performed live to
Speaker 1: my knowledge, in like four years. Can you imagine the
Speaker 1: first time you perform live and you never test out
Speaker 1: any of them? I mean, she's she's done so many
Speaker 1: concerts in the past, but years of being dormant. Is
Speaker 1: the super Bowl halftime show, which is the biggest stage,
Speaker 1: the biggest show that you could do. I thought it
Speaker 1: was her voice. Her voice commanded enough, and you know
Speaker 1: what also commanded enough, her fucking energy, the confidence that
Speaker 1: woman had. I've said it before about Dave Chappelle, when
Speaker 1: I was watching him one time on stage, I said
Speaker 1: that man is more comfortable on stage than I am
Speaker 1: in bed. And that's the way I fought about Rihanna.
Speaker 1: She was so comfortable. There was no part of me
Speaker 1: that was worried about her. When I watched Katie Perry's
Speaker 1: Super Bowl I was worried when I'm watch Lady Gaga,
Speaker 1: even Gaga, she's a very competent performer that makes me
Speaker 1: feel secure. I was even like when I watched j
Speaker 1: Lo I was literally like having a panic attack of
Speaker 1: like can she do? Like even though she she's another
Speaker 1: performer that never fails. But Rihanna, I was My blood
Speaker 1: pressure went down. It was just like the way she
Speaker 1: was sauntering around the stage, the way even the moment
Speaker 1: with her fenty Beauty product where she's touching her own makeup,
Speaker 1: which is a brilliant marketing, Like I know that it
Speaker 1: was maybe presented to make it look like, oh, the
Speaker 1: camera switched to her too quickly and they caught her
Speaker 1: touching of her makeup. They weren't supposed to. That was
Speaker 1: for the dumbest person watching That was that was who
Speaker 1: that was meant for the dumbest person watching goes They
Speaker 1: should her touching up her makeup. They weren't supposed to.
Speaker 1: That's literally anyone who thought that should be. I don't
Speaker 1: want to say what I think they should, but like
Speaker 1: shouldn't procreate anymore, like anyone who was goofed into thinking
Speaker 1: like they cut the camera too close. First of all,
Speaker 1: if they did, she would be having makeup artists to
Speaker 1: her makeup. She would not be touching it up herself.
Speaker 1: So that's how I know that was a that was
Speaker 1: put in there, but it was also a wink to like,
Speaker 1: I know what I'm doing. I'm a marketing genius. I'm
Speaker 1: putting in a moment where I touched up my own
Speaker 1: makeup on TV in the middle of my performance. What
Speaker 1: does that say to girls watching at home, touch up
Speaker 1: your makeup whenever you want that shameful thing of going
Speaker 1: to the bathroom to do your powder, do it in
Speaker 1: front of the guy at the table Bowl. I just
Speaker 1: did it at the fucking Super Bowl during my performance.
Speaker 1: Never feel ashamed for doing your makeup and having makeup
Speaker 1: nearby you and having my makeup nearby you. It was genius.
Speaker 1: It was genius. And then then at the end when
Speaker 1: she walks in and she's just like at the when
Speaker 1: she knows that she's in, like the she's the fucking
Speaker 1: it's in the final stretch of the show, and she
Speaker 1: walks and she's like, you know, high fiving or like
Speaker 1: whatever she's doing with like the musicians and kind of
Speaker 1: just like sauntering around the stage confidently like her just
Speaker 1: like having a moment with her musicians. It was I
Speaker 1: was awe struck and I was watching on my little phone.
Speaker 1: I watched it after the fact because I was flying
Speaker 1: when it happened. I thought it was awesome. I loved
Speaker 1: there wasn't too much bombastic bullshit. I don't need to
Speaker 1: see fireworks. I don't need to see people dangling from things.
Speaker 1: I don't need to see fifty cents hanging from a wall.
Speaker 1: I thought the Doctor Dre Snoop Pastime show was bad.
Speaker 1: Really sorry, I thought it was bad. I I love them,
Speaker 1: I'm not like a huge, huge fan. I thought that
Speaker 1: set was stupid. I didn't like all the it looked
Speaker 1: like a little Barbie house dollhouse. I just thought it
Speaker 1: was dumb. I thought the performances were good, but I
Speaker 1: thought the set design was was dumb. And what do
Speaker 1: I know about set design? Literally nothing. So if you're
Speaker 1: watching this and you design that set and you're like,
Speaker 1: what the funk? Literally I'm an idiot. So I don't
Speaker 1: know anything. And I'm the only one who didn't like
Speaker 1: the performance, and I can only feel confident saying I
Speaker 1: didn't like it now that I loved Rihanna's because now
Speaker 1: I know what I like and I did not like that.
Speaker 1: And I remember after that happened, everyone was like, that
Speaker 1: was the most amazing thing everyone. I was like, I
Speaker 1: was bored, and it felt weird and it felt like
Speaker 1: I was just looking at these little like a little
Speaker 1: play happening inside the doll house. I didn't like it.
Speaker 1: I love the music so much that it took me
Speaker 1: back and made me feel nostalgic. And I think they're
Speaker 1: creating sets to make you feel like you're in Compton. Okay,
Speaker 1: so it worked, but maybe the super Bowl for me,
Speaker 1: I did not feel like I was there. But remember
Speaker 1: the performer, the girl doing sign language, that was amazing,
Speaker 1: so cool. Yeah, they should have cut between her back
Speaker 1: and forth from her and Rihanna Like that was such
Speaker 1: a that was like this whole other life that it
Speaker 1: was given. Okay, So I want to talk about this
Speaker 1: thing though that Olivia wild posted. Now, Olivia Wilde, you
Speaker 1: know is was dating Harry Styles is not anymore. They
Speaker 1: broke up. Final thought Harry Styles to set the stage
Speaker 1: for this. He did not. He's never really acknowledged that
Speaker 1: she's his girlfriend. Ever impressed even when they were dating. Okay,
Speaker 1: um oh, I got a Valentine's Day thing from Chris.
Speaker 1: It's not huge, but it's a frog emoji, and that's
Speaker 1: like our way of saying I love you as a
Speaker 1: frog emoji. It's a long story, but I did get
Speaker 1: a frog emoji Happy Valentine's Day to YouTube baby. Um so, uh,
Speaker 1: he's never acknowed that. It made me think of that.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, is my boyfriend acknowledged me today?
Speaker 1: So he never acknowledged her In an interview during he
Speaker 1: did make Let's say if you made the deadline though,
Speaker 1: because when did this come in by half an hour?
Speaker 1: He did not make He did know he did it.
Speaker 1: He sent it one fifty, he was ten minutes, he
Speaker 1: made it ten minutes to go. So I still have
Speaker 1: a boyfriend. Everyone was really there was any consequences of that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he said a frog And you know what, and you
Speaker 1: know what I love about it is he didn't know
Speaker 1: I was trying to make the frog emoji R way
Speaker 1: of saying I love you. You You know, some people have
Speaker 1: like a thing like you know in that stupid fucking
Speaker 1: movie where Lady Guga like strokes down or dumb fucking
Speaker 1: knows and like that sort of their way of being like,
Speaker 1: I love you, baby star is born. I hate that
Speaker 1: so much, but I wanted like a thing like that.
Speaker 1: The other day I sent him this frog picture that
Speaker 1: like it said on the frog it said like, look
Speaker 1: at the left corner, bottom left corner, and then you
Speaker 1: looked down there and a little thing says, look at
Speaker 1: the right top corner, and then you go up there
Speaker 1: and you and then goes, now, no, don't look up here.
Speaker 1: Look at the frog's tongue and like very small in
Speaker 1: the frog's tongue and says I love you. So it
Speaker 1: has to you like jumping all over this photo and
Speaker 1: then it says I love you, but you can't see
Speaker 1: any of that unless you look closely. And so then
Speaker 1: I sent that to him one day and he was like,
Speaker 1: I really liked that, and I was like, and it's
Speaker 1: kind of stupid. So I was like, well, that's cute
Speaker 1: that he liked it, because it's kind of like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, it was just like, uh, dorky and corny.
Speaker 1: But then um, the other day I sent it again
Speaker 1: and then sent the frog emoji after it to be like,
Speaker 1: this is what means what I love you. So now
Speaker 1: he's connected it and I succeeded. I got a little
Speaker 1: emoji sign with my boyfriend. You know, it's the small
Speaker 1: things in life. Really. So Olivia Wild posted about the
Speaker 1: Rihanna's performance asap Rocky, who is Rihanna's I don't know husband,
Speaker 1: but definitely baby daddy boyfriend. Um. She he was like
Speaker 1: cheering her on and I guess she posted a video
Speaker 1: or all. I was the still of it, but it
Speaker 1: was on her story and she said, um, oh my god,
Speaker 1: what is the direct quote? Noah? Okay, so she she
Speaker 1: tagged Rocky and Rihanna and she goes, if I thought
Speaker 1: he was hot before, this really put me over the edge. Okay,
Speaker 1: So he was filming Rihanna right, And people are savagely
Speaker 1: attacking Olivia Wild for writing this because she said if
Speaker 1: I thought I loved I thought he was hot before,
Speaker 1: She's calling someone else's man hot. She tagged him and
Speaker 1: her in it. What do you guys think about this?
Speaker 1: We're gonna talk about her what she said afterwards, which
Speaker 1: I think I know what she was doing. I don't think.
Speaker 1: I think she was trying to make a point to
Speaker 1: Harry Styles, like a man that supports his woman is hot.
Speaker 1: I did not. It's exactly what she was doing because
Speaker 1: her her post afterward, because people were like, how dare
Speaker 1: this bitch called Rihanna's boyfriend hot, baby daddy hot? You
Speaker 1: don't say another woman's man is hot, which I would
Speaker 1: not be bothered by that at all, An, what do
Speaker 1: you mean? I mean people do it all the time.
Speaker 1: I guess if you're a celebrity or celebrity does not
Speaker 1: publicly say someone's hot if they Like the other day,
Speaker 1: I did an interview and I said someone was hot
Speaker 1: that has a wife, and I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: on my vision board we might end up together. And
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, because they could get divorced.
Speaker 1: You never know what happens. And I'm like literally quaking
Speaker 1: now in fear that that's going to like air and
Speaker 1: people are going to destroy me for it because it's
Speaker 1: like he's married, and it's like have you ever heard
Speaker 1: of divorce before? Like, I'm sorry, Like and also I
Speaker 1: have a boyfriend. I'm sorry, It's all a joke. I
Speaker 1: was just joke. I don't really have a vision board
Speaker 1: of this guy. I'm getting mad about something people aren't
Speaker 1: even mad at me about. So let me just having
Speaker 1: arguments in your head beep beep. Okay. So then Olivia
Speaker 1: Wilde wrote back to all these people being like, how
Speaker 1: dare you? Everyone fucking hates Olivia Wilde? Okay, everyone does.
Speaker 1: I like her. People hate her though, because they're jealous.
Speaker 1: She's beautiful. There's a little apotism. I think that might
Speaker 1: be going on that people are like, that's what, she's
Speaker 1: a former princess and she she what she's a former princess. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she was married to her prince. Okay that and also
Speaker 1: Harry Styles. Women are so jealous and she's gorgeous and perfect.
Speaker 1: They're talented and talented, and she's a director and she
Speaker 1: likes the lime like she likes to be behind the
Speaker 1: camera in front of the camera. We all hate it.
Speaker 1: She's artistic, she's cool, she like looks flawless and everything.
Speaker 1: We are jealous. Me is jealous. Okay, So that's what
Speaker 1: they're attacking her. But also, would you be pissed if
Speaker 1: someone wrote about your man. I used to think Matt
Speaker 1: Pond was hot. Now he's so hot because of how
Speaker 1: much he is loving on your I would be I'd
Speaker 1: be like, yes, bitchy, that is hot. I get exactly
Speaker 1: what she meant. Noah, If I'm tagged, it's okay. If
Speaker 1: I'm not tagged, I don't know. Okay. She was gonna
Speaker 1: take her earrings out. Well, you know what, if she
Speaker 1: didn't tag Rihanna, people would have said that exactly. They
Speaker 1: would have been like, why didn't you tag Rihanna? You're
Speaker 1: trying to make a pass at asap. No, she didn't
Speaker 1: tag sheet. But then because she tagg Rihanna, I was
Speaker 1: looking at all the comments. They were like, how fucking corny.
Speaker 1: She tagged Rihanna, like she wants her to see that
Speaker 1: she's coming for her man. I'm like, this bitch can't win.
Speaker 1: So then Olivia, following the backlash, wrote another thing on
Speaker 1: her story, and I liked what she said because it
Speaker 1: is exactly It tells you exactly what you need to
Speaker 1: know about why she posted it. She's talking about Harry Man.
Speaker 1: She did not get the support from harry that she wanted.
Speaker 1: She wanted him to be proud of her. She wanted
Speaker 1: him to brag about her. She wanted to post about her.
Speaker 1: She wanted him to like hold up his phone. She
Speaker 1: wanted him to do the same thing that she was
Speaker 1: doing at the Harry Styles Concerts, which was holding up
Speaker 1: her phone and dancing. She was captured many times supporting
Speaker 1: him from the side stage. Where was Harry during Don't
Speaker 1: Worry Darling Press, We didn't see him. That's what maybe
Speaker 1: led to their breakup. Who really knows, But what did
Speaker 1: she say? No? So she writes for anyone who got
Speaker 1: it twisted, it's hot to respect your partner, especially when
Speaker 1: your partner just did that like that, like what Rihanna
Speaker 1: just did. It's not as overt as I initially thought.
Speaker 1: But I know women, and I know what is going
Speaker 1: on here. This was not about asap racky. This was
Speaker 1: This was not about I don't really keep saying racky rocky.
Speaker 1: This is not about Rihannah and I'm saying her name
Speaker 1: Rihanna and how she feels about her or like trying
Speaker 1: to get it's how she feels about Harry. She's projecting
Speaker 1: And aren't we all today? Frog emoji gotta get out
Speaker 1: of here. Thank you guys for listening. We will see
Speaker 1: you next week. Happy Valentine's Day, belated. Um, come see
Speaker 1: me this weekend. Where are we, Anya? Um? We're not
Speaker 1: anywhere this weekend. Oh, I know where I'm this weekend.
Speaker 1: I'm in Vegas. Um, so if you're a millionaire, comes
Speaker 1: see me in Vegas as Steven Tyler's charity for um Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1: I will be there with Sammy Hagar and John Mayer
Speaker 1: and um oh loads of other people. It's a huge
Speaker 1: event that I'm doing on Saturday night, so wish me
Speaker 1: luck on that. I'll tell you about it on Tuesday's
Speaker 1: podcast and um and then the next weekend we are
Speaker 1: where we are in Bloomington, Newport, Kentucky, Lexington, Kentucky. Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, Kentucky, Indiana, get on it. Europe that is
Speaker 1: coming up in May. Can't wait to see you guys
Speaker 1: out there. Please, besties come to shows. I love meeting you.
Speaker 1: You can get free meat and greets if you go
Speaker 1: to the merch booth and just tell them that you're
Speaker 1: a bestie, they'll hook you up. UM and I can't
Speaker 1: wait to see you at a show. And thank you
Speaker 1: so much for listening. I hope you have a great day,
Speaker 1: and I hope your parents aren't emotionally unavailable. Don't encouraging