Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hey, what's your name, Doug? I'm Joey, Joey Joey.
Speaker 1: What's going on?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 1: What'd you want to talk about today? Man?
Speaker 3: What isn't going on?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 3: I have a pretty serious issue. So about two weeks ago,
Speaker 3: I was going to UH vacation right to Portland.
Speaker 1: And UH.
Speaker 3: On the way up to Portland from the Bay Area
Speaker 3: of California, I got pulled over. We're going eighty on
Speaker 3: seventy and cop pulled me over. He said, uh, I
Speaker 3: look nervous. He wanted to search my car and didn't
Speaker 3: let him search my car, and she brought a canine unit.
Speaker 3: So they searched my car anyways, and they found a
Speaker 3: little bit of cocaine on me. Actually, it's not what
Speaker 3: they all they found. I had. I had mushrooms, I
Speaker 3: had MDMA, I had LSD, I had e kedemene, and
Speaker 3: I had some cocaine. And I thought I was going
Speaker 3: to go to jail, but they actually let me go.
Speaker 1: So what's the problem.
Speaker 3: Well, so the problem is now I have to go
Speaker 3: to court. I have to go to court, and I
Speaker 3: have to figure out how I'm gonna tell my parents
Speaker 3: that I got a possession of cocaine charge on my record.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's say when you said, when you said they
Speaker 1: didn't take it to jail, I thought, I'm fucking sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm stupid. I thought they meant I thought you meant
Speaker 1: they were just like, oh yeah, no worries. Oh they
Speaker 1: like laughed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they didn't take me to jail in that moment.
Speaker 3: But going to jail is still definitely a possibility. But
Speaker 3: that's not even That's only half the problem. So I
Speaker 3: am an undocumented immigrant from Mexico. So now I'm worried
Speaker 3: that I could be deported. And I don't know shit
Speaker 3: about Mexico. I've been here my entire life. I came
Speaker 3: to the US when I was one year old.
Speaker 1: Oh really, Okay, so you weren't born here, but you
Speaker 1: came here as a little baby.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's right.
Speaker 1: Wow, And really, and even after being here for twenty
Speaker 1: four years, they can still deport you.
Speaker 3: I yeah, I guess. So.
Speaker 1: Well, all right, listen, here's the thing. And I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna before we evolve any further into this conversation, which
Speaker 1: is a conversation I'm happy to have with you, I
Speaker 1: want you to know that I am not a lawyer.
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1: Know if you caught onto that, if you were calling me,
Speaker 1: and I don't know if you were calling me in
Speaker 1: lieu of legal advice, but I just thought I would
Speaker 1: throw that out there that I'm not a lawyer. So
Speaker 1: this conversation is going to be mainly two dumbasses, Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, figuring it out right? Have you consulted with
Speaker 1: a lawyer?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: I've been. I've been asking around for I've sent a
Speaker 3: couple of emails. I haven't gotten any responses. I've talked
Speaker 3: to my sister about how I'm gonna tell my parents
Speaker 3: that I got, you know, pulled over and got a
Speaker 3: cocaine charge.
Speaker 1: And you when you, I mean, I assume you've like
Speaker 1: have you done? Can I get deported for drug possession?
Speaker 1: Reddit as a Google search and seeing what people either?
Speaker 1: But okay, well let's say.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, I guess my unique is I mean, my
Speaker 3: my case is very unique because I didn't find the ship.
Speaker 1: Why is your case unique?
Speaker 3: What might not be unique? But it's just I haven't
Speaker 3: I looked on the internet that I didn't really find
Speaker 3: anything useful. I mean, I guess the only thing that
Speaker 3: I really found was like, oh yeah, you can definitely
Speaker 3: be deported.
Speaker 1: Have you ever spoken with a immigration lawyer? Well, I'm curious,
Speaker 1: so are you're not you're not a citizen of the
Speaker 1: United States.
Speaker 3: No, I'm I'm undocumented. Actually that's being undocumented has really
Speaker 3: fucked me up a lot in life. But I'm getting by.
Speaker 3: I've I've done a lot of cool shit, like I
Speaker 3: started my own company. Yeah. Anyways, Yeah, it's it's it's
Speaker 3: real stressful, real, So.
Speaker 1: Like, what's the process, right? Because look, mammy, you've been
Speaker 1: here since you were since you were one years old.
Speaker 1: You've got the voice of a John Smith. How come
Speaker 1: you can't how come you can't uh become a fucking
Speaker 1: citizen after after twenty four years?
Speaker 4: You know what?
Speaker 3: I think it's just current politics that's you know, this
Speaker 3: whole immigration reform stuff is super great area where nothing
Speaker 3: that should move in with baby stuffs.
Speaker 1: Mmm. I mean, have you tried it?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Have you have you? Have you? Have you caught so
Speaker 1: okay with all this stuff before? I guess before calling me,
Speaker 1: have you called a immigration lawyer or I guess any
Speaker 1: type of lawyer?
Speaker 3: Uh So, So my parents were handling all of that.
Speaker 3: So years back, my dad assaulted by a crackhead, and
Speaker 3: so he qualifies for you visa and he can sponsor
Speaker 3: his whole family for U visa. So I've been in
Speaker 3: that process for years now. I don't know what the
Speaker 3: status of that is.
Speaker 1: But I'm confused. How is your dad getting assaulted? So
Speaker 1: if you're assaulted by a crackhead, you can just get
Speaker 1: a visa?
Speaker 3: Apparently, Yeah, it's called the U visa.
Speaker 1: What's how's that work?
Speaker 3: I have no idea. My parents are the ones handling
Speaker 3: all of that, and unfortunately I never bothered to ask.
Speaker 1: Just two non lawyer dumbasses figuring it out, and that's
Speaker 1: what it is. Well well, I mean all right, man,
Speaker 1: I mean like, uh, okay, so you've how can all right?
Speaker 1: So listen, it sounds to me like your parents have
Speaker 1: been the ones figuring all this shit out and talking
Speaker 1: to lawyers and doing the paperwork and this and that
Speaker 1: and the other thing. Which but but but look, but listen, man,
Speaker 1: you're twenty five years old. I mean, you know you can't.
Speaker 1: You can't call up a lawyer.
Speaker 3: I could, but I haven't because I guess I'm just irresponsible.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, what what I mean? Call it? Call a lawyer,
Speaker 1: Call a lawyer. I almost don't want to keep it.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to keep talking to you because he seemed
Speaker 1: like a cool guy, but I almost don't want to
Speaker 1: keep we've we've That's that's my If you wanted stone
Speaker 1: cold advice, that's my stone cold advice is to call
Speaker 1: it a lawyer. Yeah, call a lawyer.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, that's probably what I should do.
Speaker 1: I have no idea why you haven't yet.
Speaker 3: I mean, I I emailed the lawyer. You know, I
Speaker 3: just I just I just I've just been I've just
Speaker 3: been busy.
Speaker 1: You know, you busy doing what? How is this?
Speaker 3: Not?
Speaker 1: How is what? Okay? Tell me the things, tell me,
Speaker 1: tell me everything that's on the higher that's that's higher
Speaker 1: on your priority, less than than not getting deported.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well I mean nothing, but I know you talk
Speaker 3: about how you know your your bar for crazy lives
Speaker 3: is pretty high. But I do think I live a
Speaker 3: pretty crazy life.
Speaker 1: Ud lawyer. Go ahead, Sorry, go ahead, I will.
Speaker 3: I'm just I'm just busy. So so I am. I'm
Speaker 3: a DJ producer, and.
Speaker 1: I okay, I'm sorry. I don't want to keep interrupting.
Speaker 3: You, but no, no, it's okay, Okay, go.
Speaker 1: Ahead, finish finished.
Speaker 3: You finish, You've I promote. I promote a lot of
Speaker 3: the raves that happen in the Bay Area, some of
Speaker 3: the venues if you know, if you're from the Bay
Speaker 3: Area and uh, you know the rave venues for like
Speaker 3: bass music, up step or whatever. I either throw them
Speaker 3: or know the people that throw them and promote them.
Speaker 3: And yeah, that's a lot for me to do. And
Speaker 3: then on top of that, going to work.
Speaker 1: Take a little break from mixing and call a fucking lawyer.
Speaker 3: I should call it oil.
Speaker 1: You should call a lawyer. Dude, what are you doing?
Speaker 3: I I I I Am going to lunch or what's
Speaker 3: going to lunch?
Speaker 4: Joey?
Speaker 1: I want to I mean, I say, I want to
Speaker 1: help you, but I literally cannot. I have no skills
Speaker 1: to do stuff.
Speaker 5: But okay, how about this sounds this sounds like okay,
Speaker 5: this sounds like a higher look all the rave stuff,
Speaker 5: it sounds cool.
Speaker 1: But this sounds like a significantly higher priority than your raves.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, how about this? How do you think I
Speaker 3: should uh? How do you think I should tell my
Speaker 3: my diehard Catholic parents that I am getting this cocaine?
Speaker 1: Uh? Make it a hidden message in one of your
Speaker 1: songs and play it for them. Oh, man, I invite them,
Speaker 1: invite them to invite them to one of your raves
Speaker 1: and then as part of like on the projector you
Speaker 1: can put your subpoena on there.
Speaker 3: Oh that that sounds horrible.
Speaker 1: Also, yeah, by the way, here's my friend. Look, you're
Speaker 1: here twenty five years old. I mean you can your
Speaker 1: parents don't have to be a part of this if
Speaker 1: you don't even want them to, well I will.
Speaker 3: I live with them and they don't charge me for rent.
Speaker 1: How do you afford all this cocaine?
Speaker 3: I have a pretty pretty good job. I fix cars
Speaker 3: like an autobody technician, and they don't pay me enough,
Speaker 3: but I do make a decent amount.
Speaker 2: Hmm.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know I only started I only started doing
Speaker 3: you know, I only started doing drugs this past year.
Speaker 1: Well, so if you get to ported to Mexico, what
Speaker 1: are you going to do? Well?
Speaker 3: You know, I try to be uh, I try to
Speaker 3: be stoic about it. Yeah, but but it's a it's
Speaker 3: a lot to uh. You know, I've built my entire
Speaker 3: life here and I have, you know, things going on here,
Speaker 3: So it's like get deported then I don't I don't
Speaker 3: know yeah, I really don't know, but but I I have.
Speaker 3: It does sound like I should call lawyer.
Speaker 1: Do you speak Spanish? Do you I assume you speak Spanish.
Speaker 3: A little bit. It's broken.
Speaker 5: I do speak it, Okay, I you could have Listen,
Speaker 5: here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I don't think you're gonna I want to. I want
Speaker 1: to reassure you and say I don't think you're gonna
Speaker 1: get deported. But I don't want to lie to you
Speaker 1: have no idea. That's why I should call lawyer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know, but here's what I do. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say you're not gonna get deported. But here's what
Speaker 1: I do think Joey is and I I liked. I
Speaker 1: think part of stoicism is is rolling with whatever the
Speaker 1: fuck happens, because you know, life is crazy and sometimes
Speaker 1: things don't always go your way. Uh So, look, if
Speaker 1: you do get deported to Mexico, why don't you just
Speaker 1: become the big Why don't you just become a famous
Speaker 1: Mexican DJ. Why don't you do underground Mexican raves? That
Speaker 1: sounds cool, sounds fun. That's not the worst thing that
Speaker 1: could ever happen to anyone.
Speaker 3: Oh man, I don't know. I mean, does the Mexico
Speaker 3: have a good you know, bass music scene.
Speaker 1: Well you should call lawyers that you never have to
Speaker 1: figure out the answer to that question.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I should call.
Speaker 1: I think you'll be fine whatever happens to you. You
Speaker 1: seem like a nice guy.
Speaker 3: I try to be. I'm not that whole Joey.
Speaker 1: I well, okay, before I let you go, is there
Speaker 1: any I mean, I feel like the answer is no,
Speaker 1: But is there any other thing the way that I
Speaker 1: could help you with this?
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about it, you know, not really I think
Speaker 3: I I think I I think I got to call
Speaker 3: a lawyer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too.
Speaker 3: Oh man, Well, this is uh, this is gonna be
Speaker 3: the fucking It's gonna be a fucking issue. But I'll
Speaker 3: get through it.
Speaker 1: You'll get through it. You'll get through it. I think
Speaker 1: you'll get through it. You think you'll get through it.
Speaker 1: Although it would be it would be sick to like
Speaker 1: it would be sick to like be at a like
Speaker 1: a Mexican I was at a I was at a
Speaker 1: Mexican uh pizza place the other day and I was
Speaker 1: just what there was like a TV on and it
Speaker 1: was like the news Mexico and I was just I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't, I know like two words of Spanish,
Speaker 1: and so I didn't know what was going on, and
Speaker 1: it would it would be cool to one day go
Speaker 1: back to that pizza place and I just see you
Speaker 1: on the news, you know, jamming out.
Speaker 3: What that means? Yeah, I mean, isn't a never.
Speaker 1: Mind, Joe? Is there anything else gonna say the people
Speaker 1: in the computer before we go.
Speaker 3: People the computer? Uh, well, it's gonna be okay. And
Speaker 3: uh And if you're in the Bay Area, go to
Speaker 3: Base Raves.
Speaker 1: And if you're in the I'm gonna I'm gonna, I'm gonna,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stomp over you. And I'm gonna say, if
Speaker 1: you're in the Bay Area and you're an immigration or
Speaker 1: criminal lawyer, give this man a call. Oh yes, please,
Speaker 1: thank you for calling. Joe. I have it going.
Speaker 3: Good luck you too.
Speaker 1: With Hey, folks, it's Lyle. I'm here to tell you
Speaker 1: that tickets for my Therapy Gecko Live show are available
Speaker 1: right now at therapy geckotour dot com in several cities
Speaker 1: across the United States, or you can find them at
Speaker 1: the link in the episode description. Also, if you don't
Speaker 1: see your city on the list of cities, Please still
Speaker 1: click the link and RSVP with your phone number so
Speaker 1: I can contact you when tickets go on sale for
Speaker 1: your city, because I'm going to announce a bunch more
Speaker 1: dates very soon. If you've never been to one of
Speaker 1: my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild
Speaker 1: evenings that involve a mix of group Gecko Therapy sessions
Speaker 1: as well as some material and presentations from myself. And
Speaker 1: if you've been to the show before, I have new
Speaker 1: presentations and will of course be interviewing new people. If
Speaker 1: you're a fan of the podcast, you're gonna have a
Speaker 1: great time at the live show, So I hope to
Speaker 1: see you guys there. Go to therapy geckotour dot com
Speaker 1: or check the link in the episode description for a
Speaker 1: full list of cities where tickets are available. Geck Bluss Hello, Hi,
Speaker 1: who is this?
Speaker 2: I'm Sarah?
Speaker 1: Hey Sarah, Hi Sarah. What's up?
Speaker 2: I was just gaming and then you started streaming, So
Speaker 2: I'm just pausing my game, shaking it being called by you.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Sarah, what's going on? How's how's life?
Speaker 1: How can I get you today? I see that you
Speaker 1: you are calling from Germany.
Speaker 2: I am, Yes, life is kind of crazy right now.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It depends on what you're interested in.
Speaker 1: I guess well, I I will let you have the floor.
Speaker 1: While as to explaining why life is crazy.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, so just for the viewers, I'm twenty four.
Speaker 2: Just as context, I guess my fifty year old moment
Speaker 2: is cancer. So that's going on in my life currently.
Speaker 2: Besides that, I'm writing my bad shows theses and struggling
Speaker 2: in life like everyone. I guess.
Speaker 1: Now. You mentioned in your text that the thing one
Speaker 1: of the things you wanted to talk about is that
Speaker 1: you you have a beard.
Speaker 2: I grow more facial hair than normal, this woman does.
Speaker 2: I guess yes, m hm.
Speaker 1: Was there any like thing in particular about that that
Speaker 1: you wanted to talk about?
Speaker 2: I did want to talk about that, yes, because it
Speaker 2: is treated by a chronic illness that makes me very
Speaker 2: sad on like a daily basis.
Speaker 6: M hm hm.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but I feel like everyone in
Speaker 1: Germany's has got to be miserable.
Speaker 2: Why would you say that Germany?
Speaker 1: Like last year, I was, yeah, I was, well, I mean,
Speaker 1: you guys tried really hard to, you know, kill everyone,
Speaker 1: and you fails. And you got to you gotta live
Speaker 1: with that l and by the and you know what's crazy,
Speaker 1: that wasn't even a hundred years ago. There's still people
Speaker 1: alive from when you guys did that.
Speaker 2: And the worst, yes, the worst thing about that is
Speaker 2: that I guess people like that with that mindset are
Speaker 2: returning and it's not good. But I will not get
Speaker 2: political like that right now.
Speaker 1: Oh there's other are there Nazis in Germany still?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yes, And not to alarm anyone out there in
Speaker 2: the world, but like the right wing party we have
Speaker 2: is gaining a lot, a lot of a lot of
Speaker 2: water right now and it's very scary interesting.
Speaker 1: Well, I guess it's never I guess. I guess you
Speaker 1: can feel confident in the fact that it's peaked.
Speaker 2: I hope that's the truth. I really do hope that's
Speaker 2: the truth.
Speaker 1: It seems it seems like it's peaked. I don't, I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't know, I don't know if. I
Speaker 1: don't know, if you guys, I don't know if you
Speaker 1: guys are gonna be able to do all that stuff again.
Speaker 1: I think that that I think you guys Germany peaked.
Speaker 1: It's all Germany peaked. Unfortunately. That's the thing is everyone's well,
Speaker 1: that's why everyone's sad. There is because there's a bunch
Speaker 1: of people walking around who peaked. It's like people who
Speaker 1: like were popular in high school and now are just losers.
Speaker 2: Well, I'll have to ask everyone in my life now
Speaker 2: if they think Germany has peaked.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, well what else? Uh? Oh, you guys got
Speaker 1: Curry Worst. That's awesome.
Speaker 2: Oh did you have someone? You were in Berlin year?
Speaker 1: I was. I was like when I had it, I
Speaker 1: was like, this is so good. I almost wish that
Speaker 1: Germany won World War Two so that they sold it everywhere.
Speaker 2: That would I would be happy for the rest of
Speaker 2: the world if they also had Colly West as we
Speaker 2: call it without an accent.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mm hmm. All right, so Germany, you're you're
Speaker 1: in Germany, you're a person, You're alive on Earth. What
Speaker 1: what game were you playing when I interrupted you with
Speaker 1: my phone call?
Speaker 2: I will playing life is strange too?
Speaker 1: Uh oh, okay, I've heard of that one. Is it
Speaker 1: any good?
Speaker 2: I've actually played it before. This is a replay. I'm
Speaker 2: just on the first episode, but so far I'm enjoying it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I guess, M.
Speaker 1: Well, well, all right, I mean, I guess I'll say this,
Speaker 1: Sarah is there, Like, what would you like from this
Speaker 1: phone call? I'll ask you that question.
Speaker 2: I would like to, I don't know, put myself out
Speaker 2: there in my troubles and maybe finally feel like I
Speaker 2: can be understood, because every time I've tried, I feel
Speaker 2: like I've failed. And maybe since you have a bigger audience,
Speaker 2: there will be somebody that can understand me and my
Speaker 2: struggles a little bit.
Speaker 1: Sure, welcome, I'll let you have the floor.
Speaker 2: Okay, I guess I'll just talk about what I texted
Speaker 2: you about Lila, if that's okay, Sure, Okay, So I
Speaker 2: was well, I am a SIS woman. I do identify
Speaker 2: as a SIS woman more or less. But I have
Speaker 2: a chronic illness that messes with my hormones and that
Speaker 2: means that every morning I have too well shave off
Speaker 2: my beard and like genuinely, genuinely I have like more
Speaker 2: facial heir growth than a woman would have, and it's
Speaker 2: it's really depressing. There's no day that I don't look
Speaker 2: in the mirror where I'm like, do people notice this?
Speaker 2: And do people think less of me? Because they don't
Speaker 2: see me maybe fully as a woman, and it's just
Speaker 2: very hard to deal with this every single day.
Speaker 1: M hm.
Speaker 2: Should I just continue to be have something to say
Speaker 2: to this? Okay? So I do try to. I guess
Speaker 2: cover the shadow of this facial hair shows on my
Speaker 2: face with makeup, but I still feel like it can
Speaker 2: cover up, especially like my emotions that I have inside
Speaker 2: that I feel like maybe this chronic illness will be
Speaker 2: the cause of mean we're being fully happy, because when
Speaker 2: I think of maybe being in a relationship in my future,
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know from movies, you know this wonderful
Speaker 2: scene where you wake up in the morning and it's
Speaker 2: sunny outside and you just wake up with your partner
Speaker 2: and you're happy and everything is good. And I feel
Speaker 2: like I'll never have that because the first thing I
Speaker 2: will do in the morning when I wake up, maybe
Speaker 2: next to a future partner, we'll be worrying about what
Speaker 2: I look like, if my facial hair is grown up
Speaker 2: too much, and if I just don't look lovable.
Speaker 1: So you're growing out a full beard, Like how big
Speaker 1: of a beard are we talking?
Speaker 2: It's not like a full beard. It's my upper lip
Speaker 2: in my chin area is like when I wake up
Speaker 2: in the morning, it's like proper stubble, Like you can
Speaker 2: see it.
Speaker 1: It's visible, really it and it grows and it grows
Speaker 1: even if you shave it off, it grows immediately every morning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Let's say, for example, if I shave eve
Speaker 2: in the morning at like five am for whatever reason,
Speaker 2: I'm about five like in the evening at eight pm,
Speaker 2: I'd say, you can already like feel stubble growing out
Speaker 2: on my like on my chin.
Speaker 1: Yeah really, now is this something?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: When you when you speak to the doctors, what do
Speaker 1: they tell you about about how you can deal with this?
Speaker 2: Well, the problem is, since this is caused by hormones,
Speaker 2: I can try and do like I guess what would
Speaker 2: be called laser therapy on my fish lair. But the
Speaker 2: thing is, there's no certainty that it will help.
Speaker 1: They're like an, you should talk to a doctor and
Speaker 1: not a gecko about this, But isn't there like, uh,
Speaker 1: can you like take pills and shit to kind of
Speaker 1: regulate your hormones better?
Speaker 2: The thing is I could take like contraception, Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: birth control, but I also have like really bad migraines,
Speaker 2: which means I can't take birth control. With like estrogen
Speaker 2: because that increases my risk of like having a stroke,
Speaker 2: And I know I should talk more to my doctor
Speaker 2: about this, but I also am really bad with going
Speaker 2: to a doctor and having to deal with this because
Speaker 2: it's already on my mind every single day and I
Speaker 2: just can't deal with that increased pressure.
Speaker 1: But I don't. Okay, that doesn't make sense to me,
Speaker 1: so why But but going to a doctor and dealing
Speaker 1: with it will help you with the issue so that
Speaker 1: it's not on your mind every single day, Like why
Speaker 1: are you Why are you avoiding going to the doctor.
Speaker 2: I guess it's just a problem I kind of have
Speaker 2: in general, not doing what I'm supposed to, like not
Speaker 2: emailing my unique professor when I really should, and then
Speaker 2: putting it out for months and then just worrying. And
Speaker 2: that's a problem I have in general. But I don't know,
Speaker 2: it's just having to deal with this, having to explain
Speaker 2: it to somebody who maybe doesn't really get my struggles,
Speaker 2: and I don't know, it's just it's kind of hard.
Speaker 1: Mhm. God. I wish, Sarah. I wish I had something
Speaker 1: better to tell you than to just go see a doctor.
Speaker 1: I really do, But I don't but I don't. I
Speaker 1: really don't. I think you should go see a doctor
Speaker 1: or a professional. Because here's the thing.
Speaker 5: If I were, if you told, if I were like,
Speaker 5: if I were like a guy who went to medical
Speaker 5: school and new things about science, I could like, I'm
Speaker 5: so useless to you right now, I really am.
Speaker 1: You should go talk to a doctor about these items.
Speaker 2: Okay, Two things. One, yes, you're so right, I should
Speaker 2: go talk to a doctor, and I will again, hopefully
Speaker 2: in the future and very soon. And two, I wouldn't
Speaker 2: say that you're like useless in this situation because I
Speaker 2: didn't come here for medical advice. I came here to
Speaker 2: have some fun talking to a get go and maybe
Speaker 2: have you tell me that even though I struggle that
Speaker 2: you know, there's reasons to be happy or something.
Speaker 1: All right, reasons to be happy. Let's think about that.
Speaker 1: Reasons to be happy.
Speaker 2: I already have one right now, actually not too cheesy.
Speaker 2: But I have been listening to you like at work,
Speaker 2: which and my work is terribly mundane a lot like
Speaker 2: for the past year or even a bit more, and
Speaker 2: always cheers me up. And it's very nice to be
Speaker 2: able to talk to you.
Speaker 1: And now that makes me happy. That's a reason for
Speaker 1: me to be happy. Reasons to be happy? I don't know.
Speaker 1: We're about reasons to be happy. I'm trying to figure
Speaker 1: out those for myself. I've googled. This is a pathetic
Speaker 1: thing to admit, but I whatever I've googled recently. This
Speaker 1: is not like a thing I did when I was
Speaker 1: like in high school. This is a this is like
Speaker 1: several times over the past year. I've just googled how
Speaker 1: to be happy. I'm like, what are the basics? What
Speaker 1: did the doctors recommend? Like you go on healthline and
Speaker 1: it's like you go in the sun, have friends and
Speaker 1: don't eat like shit. That's what That's what it says,
Speaker 1: so to quote to quote Google, have friends, go in
Speaker 1: the sun and don't eat like shit, don't eat all
Speaker 1: those curry worst.
Speaker 2: But the thing is, isn't eating like shit the like
Speaker 2: most enjoyable thing to do is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, that's why. God, that's why life fucking sucks.
Speaker 1: You called it. You called so you you called in
Speaker 1: wanting me to like give be motivating. But I'm I
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, life is crazy. It's crazy. There's all
Speaker 1: this delicious food and you if you eat it, you die.
Speaker 1: And you fall in love with people and they try
Speaker 1: to kill you, and you know, you get drafted into wars.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy out there,
Speaker 1: it's crazy.
Speaker 2: Are you saying that maybe I should embrace the fact
Speaker 2: that life's life sucking, sucks and just be happy then
Speaker 2: when it actually doesn't.
Speaker 1: Is that a conclusion that you're coming to on your
Speaker 1: own as we're having this conversation right now.
Speaker 2: Maybe a little bit, yeah, Because I mean I don't
Speaker 2: think it's good to be pessimistic all the time. I
Speaker 2: definitely have a bit too pessimistic, but maybe it helps
Speaker 2: a bit to appreciate when life doesn't suck, and to
Speaker 2: appreciate like being happy or having like small happy moments.
Speaker 1: See here's the thing. See, here's the thing, Sarah is
Speaker 1: I actually don't think what you needed with somebody to
Speaker 1: be optimistic. I actually think if you're pessimistic, what you
Speaker 1: need is to talk to somebody who's even more pessimistic,
Speaker 1: so that way you can go, I don't want to
Speaker 1: sound like that fucking guy, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And then you're like, and then you come to these
Speaker 1: conclusions on your own, which you did because you said
Speaker 1: are you you were like you said to me, Are
Speaker 1: you saying that I should be uh, you know, accept
Speaker 1: that life sucks and to be happy anyway. But I
Speaker 1: don't want. I don't want. I don't want to take that.
Speaker 1: I you you that's a conclusion you came to on
Speaker 1: your own, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know sometimes you do. Sometimes you do. Got
Speaker 1: to throw your fucking hands up and be like, all right, well,
Speaker 1: I I can't control whatever cards were levied upon me
Speaker 1: in this universe, but I can control how I deal
Speaker 1: with it. And I think I don't. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I wish I had a better thing for you other
Speaker 1: than telling you to go to a doctor. But that's
Speaker 1: that's you should totally have You've been. I assume you've
Speaker 1: been to a doctor to talk about this before at
Speaker 1: least once.
Speaker 2: Oh multiple times, multiple doctors in my life, not just
Speaker 2: for this issue. But yes, I have, I just haven't
Speaker 2: in the last year about this anymore.
Speaker 1: What made you stop in the first place.
Speaker 2: Probably the fact that, well, if I go to a
Speaker 2: doctor about this a lot of the time, since it's
Speaker 2: a gynecologist, and also combines with having to you know,
Speaker 2: spread my legs open for the doctor, and it's not
Speaker 2: the mostest thing ever. Yeah, sorry to be so I
Speaker 2: guess crass about it, but it's just the truth.
Speaker 1: Well, I I'm I if if it's if, if a
Speaker 1: gecko telling you to go to the doctor is helpful
Speaker 1: in any way, shape or form, I will tell you
Speaker 1: to go to the doctor because I think he's he's
Speaker 1: the he or she's the one who's going to Germany's progressive.
Speaker 1: They have all kinds of doctors.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: If if, if the doctor tells you to do I
Speaker 1: don't want to. I don't wanna. I don't want to
Speaker 1: patronize you by explaining what doctors do. But oh no,
Speaker 1: you should. You should got to you should go to
Speaker 1: the doctor. Sarah.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well that's a great motivation for me actually to
Speaker 2: hear from you. Maybe it will actually motivate me to
Speaker 2: call in and get an appointment soon.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else that you wanted to say or
Speaker 1: or talk about before we go?
Speaker 2: You know, I listened to one of your podcasts episodes
Speaker 2: recently and you asked somebody at the end if they
Speaker 2: want to I don't know what was it, give a
Speaker 2: shout out to a band or something?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, sure you give a shout out to a band.
Speaker 1: You got a band.
Speaker 2: It's not my band, it's just a band. I like
Speaker 2: to listen to hit us.
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 2: Okay? So the band it's from the UK. It's called
Speaker 2: Boston Manor. I think they're releasing a new album soon.
Speaker 2: So give that a try and support them. I love
Speaker 2: them a lot.
Speaker 1: Boston Manor. Everyone check out Boston Manor from the UK. Yes,
Speaker 1: thank you, Sarah, good luck and uh I enjoyed, enjoy,
Speaker 1: enjoy playing your game and eating eating food and living life.
Speaker 2: Thank you you enjoy any food too, low and thank
Speaker 2: you very much by Sarah. Bye.
Speaker 1: Hello, Hi, what's up? Yes, sir? Who is this?
Speaker 4: I'm fucking oh my god?
Speaker 1: What's your name? Cowboy?
Speaker 4: Should I use my real name?
Speaker 1: No? Don't? Yeah, all right, you know what I'm You know,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start. You know what I'm gonna do, because
Speaker 1: I do this thing where I forget everybody's name. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna give people names because I don't know nobody.
Speaker 1: Nobody should be. Nobody should be using their real name
Speaker 1: on this fucking thing anyway. So I'm not gonna ask
Speaker 1: anyone what their name is anymore. I'm just gonna give.
Speaker 4: You a name.
Speaker 1: You're okay, all right? Your name is Jonathan. That's stupid. No,
Speaker 1: your name is Jonathan, but I'm gonna call you John
Speaker 1: for short. John. What's up? How's life?
Speaker 4: Life is complicated? Well? I cannot believe I got a
Speaker 4: call from you?
Speaker 1: Life is complicated? Well, John? Why is life complicated? Besides
Speaker 1: the obvious reasons?
Speaker 4: But what do you think the obvious reasons are?
Speaker 3: Why?
Speaker 1: What are the obvious reasons as to why life is complicated? Well?
Speaker 1: I mean life well, I mean I guess the goal
Speaker 1: of life well, and there's all sorts of different goals
Speaker 1: of life. But happiness, I think is the one that
Speaker 1: people want the most. And happiness is a fickle and
Speaker 1: complex thing. But I'm not I don't want to wax
Speaker 1: poetic about bullshit. I want to hear what why your
Speaker 1: life in particular feels complicated?
Speaker 4: I would say that there's a lot going on in
Speaker 4: my life right now.
Speaker 1: Ah, you texted me and you said my name is
Speaker 1: am I gonna say your name. You said, I'm twenty
Speaker 1: years old and I think I have a sex addiction.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I think it's I don't know if
Speaker 4: sex addiction is the right way to put it. I
Speaker 4: think it's a it's a it's a lack of sort of.
Speaker 3: How would I put it, Uh, it's a.
Speaker 4: Lack of directed emotional connection.
Speaker 1: Mhm hmmm, A lack of emotion, A lack of directed
Speaker 1: emotional connection.
Speaker 4: I think that I that I use sort of sexual
Speaker 4: relationships to make up for.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, mmm, in in in what way? Like are you?
Speaker 1: Are you having sex with a lot of different people
Speaker 1: to make up for having like a an emotional connection
Speaker 1: with with any of them.
Speaker 4: I think it's sort of like, I don't see myself
Speaker 4: having an emotional connection with any of them, but I
Speaker 4: continue to have sexual relationships with them because it sort
Speaker 4: of feels a small part of that gap of of
Speaker 4: what I'm hoping for searching for?
Speaker 1: What are you hoping for and searching for?
Speaker 3: Hmm?
Speaker 4: What eh for and searching for?
Speaker 1: Do you desire a direct emotional connection?
Speaker 4: I would say I do, mm hmm, but I don't
Speaker 4: I have. I haven't found someone that that I I
Speaker 4: feel I would want that with yet or the people
Speaker 4: that I have I felt like I wanted that with
Speaker 4: has there's hasn't been a reciprocation.
Speaker 1: Tell me about the type of person that you would
Speaker 1: want to have a direct emotional connection with.
Speaker 4: Mmm, I think it's someone that, uh, I just like,
Speaker 4: there's there has to be a vibe. I don't know
Speaker 4: any better way to put it. Yeah, it has to
Speaker 4: be there's to be an easiness to it.
Speaker 3: M H.
Speaker 1: Well, so you can say, well, seri's the thing you
Speaker 1: can say vibe. But if you really think about it,
Speaker 1: this vibe, if you thought about it, you could put
Speaker 1: it into words, right, like do you do you desire
Speaker 1: to be with somebody who you feel comfortable in silence around,
Speaker 1: Somebody who could whose lifestyle could easily integrate into yours,
Speaker 1: Somebody who you feel like is on the same intellectual
Speaker 1: level as you. Somebody who you're deeply physically attracted to.
Speaker 1: Somebody who who you feel like has the same sense
Speaker 1: of humor. Like these what you call a vibe can
Speaker 1: be described in in different ways. And I'm curious when
Speaker 1: you think about this vibe, what what ways you come
Speaker 1: up with?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Absolutely, I mean I think it's sort of I
Speaker 4: think when I'm when I'm looking for a for a
Speaker 4: romantic relationship, it's it's someone that it's that same circ
Speaker 4: connection that I have with with someone it's it's just
Speaker 4: a friend to me, like a very good friend where
Speaker 4: I connect with them on a on a comedic level,
Speaker 4: and a like I can have deep conversations with them
Speaker 4: and there's there's that comfortableness in silence, but also the
Speaker 4: ability to talk to them about really anything that I'm
Speaker 4: going through or they're going through.
Speaker 1: And why do you say that you have a sex addiction?
Speaker 1: Is it because you feel like you're just using like
Speaker 1: tell in your head?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I think re thinking that. I think
Speaker 4: sex addicition wasn't maybe wasn't the right way to put it.
Speaker 4: I think it's more of a use of sex to
Speaker 4: to fill a gap, which I don't know would be
Speaker 4: I don't know if that would be necessarily I don't
Speaker 4: know if that would fit into the realm or definition
Speaker 4: of a of a sex addiction.
Speaker 1: Okay, so, but you said that you're using sex to
Speaker 1: avoid this emotion? Are you like? Is that like, is
Speaker 1: that true? Or is that like just the narrative you've crafted,
Speaker 1: like are you are you? Are you using sex to
Speaker 1: avoid something? Or are you just No, I don't.
Speaker 4: Think I'm using it to avoid anything.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's just sort.
Speaker 4: Of a sort of a filler.
Speaker 1: Does does the sex that you have with these people
Speaker 1: does that leave does it? Does it get you into trouble?
Speaker 1: Does it lead you unfulfilled? Does it leave other people confused?
Speaker 1: Or like? What you know? Do you do you? Are
Speaker 1: there any problems arising out of out of this behavior
Speaker 1: from you or from the people you're having sex with.
Speaker 4: I think it's I don't think it's I think if anything,
Speaker 4: it causes more problems from my elf.
Speaker 1: Okay, uh, because like.
Speaker 4: By partaking in it, I sort of pull myself away
Speaker 4: from like that search within myself, sort of give myself
Speaker 4: the the how I put it, the space to find
Speaker 4: myself and within finding myself or space to find it
Speaker 4: a person within my life that I would want to
Speaker 4: that I have the ability or want to pursue something
Speaker 4: further with.
Speaker 1: Look at this guy, he just therapy geckoed himself.
Speaker 4: That's what my therapist always says, I do.
Speaker 1: That's great, your therapist. It sounds like makes a lot
Speaker 1: of money for doing absolutely nothing. No, I'm just kidding. Sure,
Speaker 1: So okay, all right, so you know, all right, so
Speaker 1: you're you're I'm assuming if your therapist has said that
Speaker 1: to you, that you've come to this conclusion multiple times, like,
Speaker 1: this is not this is not a light bulb moment
Speaker 1: that you're having on the phone with me right now.
Speaker 1: This is something that you've you've come to yourself before.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's definitely it's definitely something that I've I mean,
Speaker 4: I think this conclusion is definitely something I've come to
Speaker 4: with myself before. It's not something that I've actually talked
Speaker 4: with my therapist a lot about. Uh, it's there's so manly,
Speaker 4: like a thing that's come up, but not something that's
Speaker 4: talked about a lot. But I definitely like talked about
Speaker 4: my friends like.
Speaker 3: A good amount, which.
Speaker 1: Is so so I mean, so you've come to the
Speaker 1: conclusion that the the kind of meaningless sex is just
Speaker 1: taking you away from the like the the the the
Speaker 1: search as you call it, uh, within yourself. Yeah, i'd say,
Speaker 1: so that's a smart that's a smart thing to know
Speaker 1: about yourself.
Speaker 6: And yeah, I think it it's sort of yeah, I mean,
Speaker 6: I I think it's also sort of it definitely leaves
Speaker 6: me with a with a feeling of Yeah, there's definitely
Speaker 6: a dissatisfaction with it as well.
Speaker 4: Just uh in terms of like I like I I do,
Speaker 4: I do a good job of making my intentions clear
Speaker 4: with people them hooking.
Speaker 3: Up with or.
Speaker 4: Like I I think I do. I feel like I
Speaker 4: do a good job of not leading like a person on.
Speaker 1: So, so, John, I guess before we go, like, I mean,
Speaker 1: tell me this all right, So you've come to this
Speaker 1: conclusion about yourself, and now, as we all know, as
Speaker 1: we all know, as we've learned time and time and
Speaker 1: time again, the body, more specifically, the penis will act
Speaker 1: in ways that conflict with the logic of the brain.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, But.
Speaker 1: What's your name again? John? John? You are a You
Speaker 1: are a human being. Oh how should I put this?
Speaker 6: You are?
Speaker 1: You are you are a higher being than the ape,
Speaker 1: than the dog. What I don't have a third animal?
Speaker 1: You are a higher being and thus perhaps than the
Speaker 1: than the gecko, than the gecko. Yes, and thus you
Speaker 1: have the ability to use your brain over your penis.
Speaker 1: And I I wish you. I wish you luck in
Speaker 1: fighting that good fight, my friend.
Speaker 3: Thank you?
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: It's been a pleasure talking with you and people of
Speaker 4: the internet. Take your time.
Speaker 1: Hey you too, man, see you around.
Speaker 4: Seud goes on the line taking
Speaker 2: Every night every beacon goes to teaching you, experien