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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know are you

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Speaker 2: a Charlotte? Hi? Everyone, welcome to Are You a Charlotte?

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Speaker 2: Today we have a super fun and interesting guest. Her

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Speaker 2: name is doctor Vivianna Coles. She is a licensed marriage

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Speaker 2: and Family therapist and a certified sex therapist with twenty

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Speaker 2: years of experience. She is lovely and super smart. The

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Speaker 2: main reason that I wanted her on was to talk

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Speaker 2: about the whole Tray and Charlotte storyline, and she has

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Speaker 2: a lot of interesting things to say about it. And

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Speaker 2: then also we're going to talk about episode four, oh

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Speaker 2: for What Sex Got to Do with It, which is

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Speaker 2: directed by the wonderful Allen Colter and written by Nicole Afrol.

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Speaker 2: So please join us for both episodes this week. It's

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Speaker 2: really interesting.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Hi Kristen, nice to meet you.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for joining us. Can I call you doctor Viviana?

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Speaker 3: Of course that would be great. Thank you, I am

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Speaker 3: you gave me the best reason to run it back

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Speaker 3: with the seasons, and they're so good. I was just

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Speaker 3: finishing up another episode.

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Speaker 1: I just oh, fun, thank you, thank you, thanks for

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Speaker 1: having me. It's my pleasure.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's funny because you know, obviously this was

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Speaker 2: a long time ago that we filmed this, but the

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Speaker 2: episodes really hold up. So it's very interesting for me

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Speaker 2: to be rewatching them myself, and a lot of the

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Speaker 2: times we'll just say here to ourselves when we're watching,

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Speaker 2: especially this whole Tray Charlotte storyline, like I'm trying to

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Speaker 2: think to myself, like did we talk to sex therapists

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Speaker 2: at the time, Like what how?

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Speaker 1: What were we thinking?

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Speaker 2: But also we were in the middle of filming, right,

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Speaker 2: and we were just kind of going with the scripts

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Speaker 2: as they were given to us, right. But it does

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Speaker 2: really make me think of so many, so many questions

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Speaker 2: I have, you know, for a sex therapist about how

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Speaker 2: to handle the things that we go through in the show.

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Speaker 2: And so I'm so happy for you to be here.

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Speaker 3: I'm really happy to be here. And the other thing

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Speaker 3: that I noticed is that I'm like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 3: I was not a sex therapist at the time that

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Speaker 3: these came out, so looking back and like being a

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Speaker 3: couple serrapists and a sex serface, I'm like, just it's

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Speaker 3: a new light. So thanks for thanks for doing this podcast,

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Speaker 3: because a lot of us are probably rewatching and thinking,

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Speaker 3: oh the gems and the one liners, thank you, thank you,

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Speaker 3: it's too late for a hanky.

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Speaker 1: I know, I know it's true.

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Speaker 2: Our writers are just so good and they really like

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Speaker 2: there were so many things and I need to ask

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Speaker 2: them again about because for me, the whole Tray storyline.

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Speaker 2: I knew what Charlotte wanted. I knew how much she

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Speaker 2: you know, loved Trey. I had forgotten about the different

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Speaker 2: elements of the difficulty. I remember the big difficulty, but

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Speaker 2: I didn't remember like the kind of issues and how

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Speaker 2: you know, she tried this way with the drugs magazine.

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Speaker 2: She tried to get it into therapy. It didn't work,

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Speaker 2: you know. But also I also feel and I'm wondering

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Speaker 2: how you feel. I mean, I've never personally been in

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Speaker 2: this situation, but I can only imagine how hard it

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Speaker 2: would be to try to get a man to talk

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Speaker 2: about it. It just seems like Trey is not that open, which.

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Speaker 3: Is Trey is absolutely not that open. And I actually

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Speaker 3: my heart broke this, you know, this like second third

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Speaker 3: time of watching these around it felt like she was alone.

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Speaker 3: She was alone in dealing with it, in talking about

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Speaker 3: it and think about it. And at first, when she

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Speaker 3: had only told Carrie, she was really alone because she

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Speaker 3: was so ashamed. But everything that she tried, everything that

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Speaker 3: they tried, I felt like, is very relevant and people

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Speaker 3: still do that, and even some aspects of what their

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Speaker 3: therapist brought up I think are still very useful in

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Speaker 3: our in our field. So yeah, I'm excited to dive

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Speaker 3: in and ready to go.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So let's just go for a second backwards

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Speaker 2: in time to win. As you brought up that she

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Speaker 2: just tells Carrie in the beginning. So Charlotte has her,

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Speaker 2: you know, extremely romanticized ideals of what she would like, right,

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Speaker 2: And we know because she tells the girls. You know,

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Speaker 2: I decided to wait and not have sex with him

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Speaker 2: because I thought this was a different way to carriage,

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Speaker 2: right right, which I mean, first of all, what do

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Speaker 2: you make of that?

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Speaker 3: Okay, I would not recommend doing that. I think for

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Speaker 3: so many people, if they're putting it, if they're first

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Speaker 3: of all, if they're putting sex on a pedestal, that

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Speaker 3: in and of itself creates a dynamic that can cause

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Speaker 3: a lot of pressure and anxiety and just mystery, but

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Speaker 3: not the good kind with sex. And so when she

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Speaker 3: said that, and and this is you know, the day

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Speaker 3: before she gets married and they're just appalled. I was

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Speaker 3: appalled to because intimacy, both physical and emotional, that's the

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Speaker 3: whole reason that you fall in love with someone to

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Speaker 3: begin with, is to have those things in very full

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Speaker 3: parts and for a whole half of that to be missing. Yes,

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Speaker 3: she said he's a great kisser, and I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: and making out is awesome and I love that, right,

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Speaker 3: but it doesn't I mean, your whole body being into

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Speaker 3: the physical act and the physical intimacy and how it

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Speaker 3: responds that mind body connection is not something that I

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Speaker 3: think anybody should have a big question mark when it

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Speaker 3: comes to their partnership. And then when she shares right

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Speaker 3: before she's walking down the aisle that it didn't work

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Speaker 3: and he wasn't able to keep his erection, I felt

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Speaker 3: so bad because the stakes are so high, and Carrie's

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Speaker 3: just like, oh, oh my gosh, what are you doing

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Speaker 3: to me?

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Speaker 2: I know I also feel I mean when I think

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Speaker 2: back on it, like, and of course you know you're

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Speaker 2: in it, you're reading the script, you're trying to do

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Speaker 2: your best you can do with the script, but it's

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Speaker 2: so interesting to think through what that would actually be like,

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Speaker 2: I'm so different from Charlotte in this fundamental way where

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Speaker 2: I cannot ever imagine doing this in any way, shape

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Speaker 2: or form, right, And I'm I'm it seems insane to me.

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Speaker 1: You mean you're waiting, not waiting all of it.

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Speaker 3: I thought you meant going through with the marriage. No, No,

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Speaker 3: like faking.

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Speaker 1: I'm not very much focused on marriage.

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Speaker 2: But but I mean I do think that once Charlotte

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Speaker 2: wants something, she's really going to pursue it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And I think it's also so interesting because it's also

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Speaker 2: she's not incredibly mature herself about talking about feelings and things, right,

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Speaker 2: Like she's she has a lot of feelings, and I

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Speaker 2: feel like she can emotionally express herself.

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Speaker 3: But there's like a lens. There's this lens and this

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Speaker 3: filter that is very hopeless romantic and is very talalish,

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Speaker 3: you know. And I think waiting till marriage, whether it's

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Speaker 3: a religious thing or not, is a bit of like,

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Speaker 3: let's kick the can down the road, we'll deal with

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Speaker 3: that later. And well, a lot of women and men think, well,

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Speaker 3: everything will work out when when your chemistry is there,

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Speaker 3: or when the respect is there and the love is there,

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Speaker 3: the consent is there everything is going to work out perfectly.

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Speaker 3: And I have a practice that is predominantly full with

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Speaker 3: people who have all of the best intentions, who can

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Speaker 3: really emotionally connect, and physically things are not going well

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Speaker 3: for them awful.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: So let's just I'm just so curious now, Okay, So

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Speaker 2: what if you had a couple. Obviously you're not going

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Speaker 2: to talk about any of your actual patients, obviously because

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Speaker 2: you are a professional. So let's say you had a

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Speaker 2: couple like Charlotte and Trede, where there are all of

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Speaker 2: these other wonderful qualities, right, and they do seem to

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Speaker 2: fit together, and they do want the same things, and

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Speaker 2: they're kind of aligned in terms of their families, you know,

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Speaker 2: in some ways and whatnot and whatnot. It's it's hard

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Speaker 2: to go too deep because in some ways they're not aligned.

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Speaker 2: But let's pretend at the beginning that they think they

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Speaker 2: are right and then there is some kind of a

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Speaker 2: of a miss miss in terms of the physical life.

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Speaker 3: There's a snag.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what would you recommend, like, what would you have

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Speaker 2: that couple do well?

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Speaker 3: So for a lot of the couples that I do

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Speaker 3: work with, one of the main things that we figure

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Speaker 3: out is is this a relational issue or is this

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Speaker 3: something that is going on with the individual partners relationship

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Speaker 3: with sex? For instance, I actually don't think that Charlotte

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Speaker 3: was doing anything. I don't think she really did anything wrong.

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Speaker 3: I mean, she did show her disappointment, but that was

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Speaker 3: mainly because he wouldn't even talk about it, right, So

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Speaker 3: I do assess them for that. Now, with Trey, it

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Speaker 3: could have been so many different things. It could have

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Speaker 3: been his upbringing, it could have been that having Bunny

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Speaker 3: as his mother, who I don't know, although she did

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Speaker 3: seem to have a little freaky side because she was

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Speaker 3: like after Charlotte kissed the.

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Speaker 1: Gardener, oh my god, like, oh you're a McDougall.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh, okay.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 1: I took that to mean like troubled.

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Speaker 3: Well, like everybody's done that. I thought everybody's cheated on

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Speaker 3: their partner kind of thing. And so I think then

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Speaker 3: I would basically go into for a lot of men

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Speaker 3: who are experiencing erectile difficulties, whether it's getting an erection,

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Speaker 3: maintaining an erection, delayed actual ejaculation, early ejaculation, A lot

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Speaker 3: of that has to do with stress, usually there is

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Speaker 3: a lot of stress involved, and yes, that could be

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Speaker 3: impacting the relationship. It could be solely having to do

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Speaker 3: with their professional and providership roles, all of that for

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Speaker 3: a lot of men. Though, So once it happens, once

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Speaker 3: the performance anxiety takes over, so then it's almost like

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Speaker 3: it's just an out of control train right without the breaks.

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Speaker 3: And we see that where he's willing to try, but

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Speaker 3: it's almost like the minute that things aren't going well,

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Speaker 3: the minute he gets into his head and that performance

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Speaker 3: anxiety takes over, he's done and scoot this. This is

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Speaker 3: what the schooner doesn't work.

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Speaker 2: Any sales, Yeah, I know, yeah, all the little things

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Speaker 2: that like. That's the other thing that I think is interesting,

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Speaker 2: the way that he kind of there's a like infantilization,

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Speaker 2: which makes you wonder about, you know, the mother relationship.

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Speaker 2: But also my question that I have in terms of Charlotte,

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Speaker 2: because I remember when she's talking to Samantha and Samantha says, oh,

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Speaker 2: he's thinking of you like his virginal wife, and he

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Speaker 2: needs to see you as a sexual person. That's when

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Speaker 2: we do that scene where I come and I say

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Speaker 2: I'm your wife and I love you when I'm sexual,

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Speaker 2: which I thought was so so beautifully red and powerful

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Speaker 2: and hard to do, you know, hard to do, hard

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Speaker 2: to act, but also I can't even imagine in real

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Speaker 2: life so vulnerable. Yeah, and I mean as a therapist

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Speaker 2: who's helping couples with these really delicate things.

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Speaker 1: You know, how do you gauge?

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Speaker 2: Like when I watch it back, I think, like Trey's

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Speaker 2: he means well, but he's just not really willing to

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Speaker 2: delve into it at all. That's what it seems like

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Speaker 2: to me. Do you feel that way when you watch it?

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Speaker 3: So that's the biggest red flag to me. It's not

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Speaker 3: that he's experiencing the issue, it's how he's handling it

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Speaker 3: and how he's making the fact that he's not handling

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Speaker 3: it right, and how he's treating her attempts to try

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Speaker 3: to help That is not partnership. Right now, she's over

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Speaker 3: here doing the reading about it, she's bringing it up,

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Speaker 3: she's being sweet and soft. I can imagine I've had

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Speaker 3: clients who they are going to be much more direct

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Speaker 3: and you know, maybe a little brash and even mean

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Speaker 3: right at times, sometimes even abusive in the way that

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Speaker 3: they'll talk to their partners about this she was tiptoeing

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Speaker 3: as quietly as she possibly could. And so when she

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Speaker 3: came in and she had those heels on, and she's

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Speaker 3: got this lingerie and she's saying, like, no, I am

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Speaker 3: a sexual being. This isn't even just about you. This

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Speaker 3: is about me and what you're doing to me and

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Speaker 3: what you're taking away from me and my vision of

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Speaker 3: what a healthy partnership looks like. If maybe I think

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Speaker 3: she was hoping like, if you can just get out

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Speaker 3: of the idea that this is about you and your erection,

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Speaker 3: but this is more about us and our connection. And

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Speaker 3: I think it was very powerful. And now I have

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Speaker 3: to say that they didn't do much talking about the

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Speaker 3: fact that he was seemingly so into like really large breasts, yes,

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Speaker 3: and that Charlotte does not no. And you know, that

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Speaker 3: is something that I think a lot of women really

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Speaker 3: struggle with, especially with men who are watching a lot

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Speaker 3: of pornography. Typically the pornography that they're looking at and

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Speaker 3: the videos that they go in watching versus what they

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Speaker 3: end up ejaculating to might be very different, but there

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Speaker 3: is typically a sense of it's different, it's different than

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Speaker 3: what I have at home, And a lot of women

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Speaker 3: cannot reconcile that how can you be looking at big

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Speaker 3: bottomed black women when I'm a small, petite Asian woman,

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Speaker 3: you know, like, how can we do that? And that's

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Speaker 3: something that I think does turn into a relational issue.

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Speaker 3: So even if they're not maybe coming into the sessions

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Speaker 3: with a relational issue that they know of, we have

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Speaker 3: to talk through these things and really kind of unpack

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Speaker 3: the baggage. And I think that Charlotte was trying to

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Speaker 3: do that. She's like, well, is it this? Well is

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Speaker 3: it that? And Carrie was so sweet to offer the

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Speaker 3: idea of like, well, let's see if it's a physical

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Speaker 3: versus emotional that it is true. Sometimes it is physical

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Speaker 3: and there's not much they can do. There are nowadays

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Speaker 3: more invasive things. But you know, if it's emotional, that's

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Speaker 3: where they come in to see a certified sex therapist

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Speaker 3: because we can really work with them to kind of

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Speaker 3: peel the layers away. And there are always layers and

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Speaker 3: that's okay, And when people seek this help, they typically

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Speaker 3: get the help that they need.

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Speaker 1: Well that's nice, that's good too.

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Speaker 3: It's hopeful, it is really hopeful.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, So both partners are willing and go in

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Speaker 2: which you know, that's the question, is Trey actually really

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Speaker 2: willing to look at what he needs to look at?

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Speaker 1: Unclear? Right, seems a little unclear.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, he's rejected at everything so far, and then

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Speaker 3: all of a sudden he's like, I'll take us to

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Speaker 3: counseling right then.

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Speaker 2: And then they start making out cabs and he wist

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Speaker 2: have sex everywhere.

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Speaker 3: Else, everywhere, but the way that she would like.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's so interesting.

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Speaker 2: And I mean, I've never been married and I haven't

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Speaker 2: had these issues, but like, I do feel like that's

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Speaker 2: kind of an intimacy thing. That's like someone who's challenged

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Speaker 2: by real intimacy.

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Speaker 1: Trey, it is.

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Speaker 3: It almost seems like he is only stimulated by something

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Speaker 3: really big and flamboyant and grand, like that's what gets

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Speaker 3: the radar going, and that's what causes his arousal to

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Speaker 3: spike or even be present. So being in a long

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Speaker 3: term relationship for someone like Trey is going to be

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Speaker 3: challenging in the bedroom, and he has to be willing

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Speaker 3: to say, you know what, my desire to be with

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Speaker 3: this person and to build a life with her is

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Speaker 3: so much stronger than this particular issue that we're dealing

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Speaker 3: with and he just was not having it.

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Speaker 2: And then at the end of this particular episode that

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Speaker 2: we're going to get to once because this is so fascinating.

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Speaker 2: I love talking to you about this, because this is

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Speaker 2: the kind of thing that I wish I had had

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Speaker 2: time and a way to get some more insight. But

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Speaker 2: then also I think that the end result was always

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Speaker 2: going to be what it was going to be, Like

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Speaker 2: this was the plan, and then it was more about

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Speaker 2: kind of fleshing out how it went down over time,

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Speaker 2: and we all fell in love with Kyle, and so

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Speaker 2: he stayed longer than they had originally planned, and so

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Speaker 2: we kind of stay in it and try different ways

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Speaker 2: longer than they had originally thought we would. But I mean,

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Speaker 2: it's so interesting to hear about because I think intimacy

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Speaker 2: in general is really complex and interesting. And yes, our

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Speaker 2: show's about it and about a lot of the stuff

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Speaker 2: around it, but sometimes we can't dig as deep as

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Speaker 2: we might like because it's a comedy, right, So like,

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Speaker 2: I love hearing then the inner things, and like, I

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Speaker 2: have one more specific question for you, but I want

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Speaker 2: to say the name of the title. It's called What

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Speaker 2: Sex Got to Do With It, which is of course,

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Speaker 2: really funny that we're just now getting to that title

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Speaker 2: in our show in the fourth season, what sex got

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Speaker 2: to do with it?

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Speaker 1: And I think we would say pretty much everything.

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Speaker 3: Pretty much everything. Well, here's the thing. When sex is

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Speaker 3: going well in a relationship, it doesn't account for much.

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Speaker 3: Most people don't even talk about it. But when it's

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Speaker 3: not going well is when most people are freaked out, scared, threatened, disappointed.

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Speaker 3: The anger goes through the roof, this feeling of resentment

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Speaker 3: and insecurity. So when it's bad, it's really bad. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel so so much empathy for couples going

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Speaker 2: through things like this, because it seems so like if

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Speaker 2: you've found someone that you want to commit to and

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Speaker 2: that you want to build a life with and then

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Speaker 2: there are these difficulties, it is just so vulnerable to

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Speaker 2: have to look at it, and then to get spessional

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Speaker 2: help is like so brave, you know, but also like

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Speaker 2: then you actually have to peel back the issues and

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Speaker 2: the things and you know, do some homework. Like one

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Speaker 2: of the things I wanted to ask you about. And

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Speaker 2: I think I've seen this maybe in a movie or

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Speaker 2: maybe I don't know if it was satirized or whatever,

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Speaker 2: but like the idea that someone would a couple would

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Speaker 2: go to a sex therapist such as yourself, and then

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Speaker 2: they might get exercises like to go home and to

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Speaker 2: just touch and not have sex.

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Speaker 1: Is that a real thing?

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Speaker 3: So we call that sensate focus. It is a strategy

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Speaker 3: that's been around for a long time, an intervention. I

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Speaker 3: actually created a program that is much more tailored to

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Speaker 3: what I see is really working in therapy, and I

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Speaker 3: actually it's called the Doctor Viviana Method for Intimate Reconnection

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Speaker 3: and it's over the course of six weeks, you're building

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Speaker 3: on physical and emotional intimacy exercises. So it just keeps

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Speaker 3: adding on and adding on and building on. But the

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Speaker 3: way that's like pure sensate focuses, I don't think is

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Speaker 3: ever really enough for couples now. I think we all

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Speaker 3: expect a bit more so the idea that you would

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Speaker 3: just lay and maybe be naked next to your partner

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Speaker 3: and just kind of slowly caress them for like an hour.

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Speaker 3: I was like, you know, it's just not realistic.

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Speaker 2: It's so sweet though it's so sweet.

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Speaker 3: It is. It is very sweet, and I think for

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Speaker 3: a lot of couples, I'm encouraging them to do that,

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Speaker 3: like when they cut at night before they go to bed,

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Speaker 3: or in the morning before they have to get up

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Speaker 3: and do the day. I'll say, spend a timer for

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Speaker 3: five minutes and just allow each other to like touch

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Speaker 3: and connect and like breathe again, you know, big spoon,

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Speaker 3: little spoon. Maybe it's feet touching. I was just telling

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Speaker 3: a couple, I said, y'all, just rub your feet together

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Speaker 3: a little bit and you'll just kind of connect in

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Speaker 3: that way. And that's a version of sensate focus. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: the real like pure one is. I just think for

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Speaker 3: a lot of people it's a little bit more frustrating

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Speaker 3: and kind of cheesy and boring, but you know, it

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Speaker 3: comes from a good place. Of course, I to put

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Speaker 3: your slant on it, and I put my slant on.

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Speaker 1: That's really interesting. I'd like that so much.

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Speaker 2: So in your program you would start with something like that,

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Speaker 2: and then there would be steps that you would progress through, so.

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Speaker 3: Actually you go even further back, which for a lot

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Speaker 3: of people they don't really understand why if you're going

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Speaker 3: to a sex therapist, you take sex off the table.

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Speaker 3: But what I find is that a lot of couples

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Speaker 3: are kissing or holding hands or even having intercourse just

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Speaker 3: out of habit, but they're not actually wanting it. They're

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Speaker 3: not doing it because oh my gosh, I just want

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Speaker 3: to kiss you right now. And so they get into

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Speaker 3: these habits and I say, no, no, no, we need to

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Speaker 3: break off and almost like strip away all of the

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00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 3: habits and routines so that the next time that this happens,

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00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 3: it's very intentional and it means something and it carries

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Speaker 3: more wait then then just a peck on the lips, right,

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Speaker 3: So it actually starts with something like an embrace, which

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00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 3: a lot of people are like, wait, so we're just

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Speaker 3: going to embrace each other for a week in the

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Speaker 3: morning and the evening while saying something really sweet. Yes,

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Speaker 3: because a lot of people don't even hug their partners anymore.

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Speaker 3: So the idea that you're holding them and you're wanting

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Speaker 3: to impart a sweet sentiment that is very it's very sincere,

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Speaker 3: and you've taken the time to stand up and hold

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Speaker 3: each other while you're saying this little script. It's very short,

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Speaker 3: it's just three or four lines, but it's very very sincere.

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Speaker 3: You should I mean people start crying. They start crying

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Speaker 3: when it because they're like oh my gosh. Even just

401
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 3: while we're going through what they're going to say, they

402
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,920
Speaker 3: start welling up. And this is both partners or one

403
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,880
Speaker 3: partner and the other partner's like, oh my gosh, what's

404
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 3: going on. It's like I only hear this in a

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Speaker 3: card once a year for our anniversary. The fact that

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Speaker 3: we're going to say this to each other and it's

407
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 3: sincere and we mean it is just like it already

408
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Speaker 3: starts the transformation. So I always tell people like, don't

409
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Speaker 3: knock it, like, let's take it back and then we can.

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Speaker 3: Then you add on a kiss, and then you add

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Speaker 3: on more and more and more and more, and then

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Speaker 3: by week six there's a little bit, uh, you know

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Speaker 3: there's penetration involved.

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Speaker 1: Well that's nice.

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Speaker 3: Works up to it, right, we're to it and it

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Speaker 3: makes sense. I'm you know, I'm a sex therapist, so

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Speaker 3: I really do appreciate the value of sexuality within a relationship.

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Speaker 3: But more importantly, I feel like there should be sex

419
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Speaker 3: should make sense. It's it's not just something that you do.

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Speaker 3: It should make sense within your relationship. And if it's

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Speaker 3: not making sense for whatever reason, you got to handle that.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's so great, that's so great, and it

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Speaker 2: seems so like, yeah, who wouldn't want that? You know,

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Speaker 2: like like just just saying sweet things and hugging each

425
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 2: other is like so good. But I also feel and

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Speaker 2: I mean I've got friends who've been married like thirty

427
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 2: years and whatnot, and I do think that there is

428
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Speaker 2: a certain risk involved when you do have a successful relationship, right,

429
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Speaker 2: it's not that it's unsuccessful, but maybe there's different elements

430
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Speaker 2: that have taken.

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Speaker 3: Over public image. Yeah, there is money, there's history, their kids,

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Speaker 3: there's businesses. I mean, there's just so much, so much

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Speaker 3: that for a lot of my clients in particular, they're

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Speaker 3: trying to preserve not just their intimate connection but their

435
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 3: entire lives. And it does create pressure. And that's why

436
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 3: I'm a big fan of, like start with premarital counseling.

437
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 3: I have had clients who I've had for their entire relationship, Wow,

438
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 3: who come in from premarital counseling and now they're in

439
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,480
Speaker 3: maintenance and they come in once every three months. So oh,

440
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 3: this is something where you don't have to be in crisis. Yes,

441
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 3: of course, who can be? And I love a good crisis,

442
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,159
Speaker 3: don't get me wrong. I after having done this for

443
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 3: over twenty two or twenty three years. I'm like, give

444
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 3: me the toughest situation because like, I like those hard puzzles, right,

445
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:18,880
Speaker 3: But do yourself a favor and go when things are

446
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 3: okay so that you can learn to talk about things

447
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,159
Speaker 3: when you're not angry.

448
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 1: That's so nice, that's so good.

449
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 2: So people would actually come to you before they're actually

450
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 2: getting married.

451
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:33,640
Speaker 3: Yes, before they're married. Even pre engagement counseling is the thing. Now.

452
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 3: People are like much more conscientious. They they are like,

453
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 3: I am investing in us because I don't want to

454
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,159
Speaker 3: waste time. I don't want to get a divorce, you know,

455
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 3: after we have kids. So there's pre cohabitation is a

456
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 3: big one.

457
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:46,879
Speaker 1: Wow.

458
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 3: Some people will come in within the first three months

459
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 3: of dating what because they don't want to they don't

460
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 3: want to waste their time, and they're like, let's figure

461
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 3: these things out, red flag, let's figure this out. They

462
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 3: and they don't know what they don't know.

463
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,719
Speaker 2: Well, that's true, but it's amazing that they realize that,

464
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 2: you know that they're willing.

465
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 3: I wish there were more. I wish that there were more,

466
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 3: but there are people doing that.

467
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 2: It seems really really smart. To be doing that. It

468
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 2: seems like a really smart thing because you're getting someone's

469
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,679
Speaker 2: like kind of eye in terms of you know, what

470
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 2: might be underneath something or a red flag that you're

471
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 2: not aware of, or you're maybe like oh maybe, but

472
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,400
Speaker 2: sometimes you don't even know yourself. And that's as we

473
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 2: started talking about with Charlotte. She really is alone in

474
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:35,400
Speaker 2: her own head, you know, like what is going on?

475
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,920
Speaker 2: But I think her eye is so much on the prize,

476
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 2: which is that's kind of Charlotte's issue, right, But.

477
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 3: Isn't that interesting Because as I was rewatching this episode,

478
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 3: she could have easily done well, I'm sure you and

479
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 3: I have seen before where it's like, okay, let me

480
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,680
Speaker 3: just sweep this under the rug. Yeah, and oh okay,

481
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:59,159
Speaker 3: now everything's you know, maybe there's some functioning going on

482
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 3: and whatever, and she could have said, gosh, this is

483
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 3: so good on paper, or maybe I don't need this passion.

484
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe I you know, And that is a real

485
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 3: thing that people question when they're trying to figure out

486
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 3: if they should stay with someone. And so it took

487
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 3: a lot for her, I think, yeah, to kind of

488
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 3: say wait, no, but this is fake.

489
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,679
Speaker 1: Right, is right? No?

490
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 2: No? And That's the saving grace of Charlotte, right, is that, like, like,

491
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 2: she does have the romantic vision and she is really

492
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 2: focused on a goal in a way where you know,

493
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 2: it might be questionable, but in the end she wants

494
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 2: to be authentic. I think she's looking for authenticity, like

495
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:47,960
Speaker 2: more and more authenticity. She's not willing to go backwards.

496
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 2: And that's what I love about her. Yeah, thank goodness.

497
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 3: I feel like that we would have all been almost like, no, Charlotte.

498
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 3: We would have been screaming at the screen if she

499
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 3: was like kind of caving, but she didn't. And then

500
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 3: another thing that I noticed, and the reason that it

501
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 3: stood out to me rewatching it is because in the

502
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 3: very first chapter of my book, the Four Intimacy Styles,

503
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 3: I talk about how for me, yes, we all have heard,

504
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 3: you know, sex, money and kids are the cause for

505
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 3: most breakups or divorces, but for me, I think it's sex,

506
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 3: but most people don't want to say it.

507
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:25,640
Speaker 2: Is Wow.

508
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 3: The fact that she is, like, you know, as publicly

509
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,160
Speaker 3: conscious of her reputation, but the fact that she's able

510
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 3: to say, like, no, we have sexual issues, we have

511
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 3: bedroom issues. I just thought, gosh, she was almost like

512
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 3: ahead of her time, because most people will not say

513
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,880
Speaker 3: that even though it's one hundred percent why they're divorcing.

514
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: No, you're so right. You're so right.

515
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 2: And that is one thing when I'm rewatching the show,

516
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 2: and people had said this to me over the years,

517
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 2: but I was always like, really, are you sure that

518
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 2: Charlotte kind of she just says truths like out of

519
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 2: the blue, do.

520
00:27:58,440 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying?

521
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,920
Speaker 2: And sometimes there are all comfortable truths, you know, And

522
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,680
Speaker 2: I think that's also she's kind of a massive contradictions

523
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 2: in a lot of ways that it made her fun

524
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,440
Speaker 2: to play for eighteen million, hundred years, and that was

525
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 2: one of them. Like she does have the facade, like

526
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 2: I'm going to have the upperst side good girl facade,

527
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 2: but yet I'm actually gonna say.

528
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 1: The hard things. It's interesting. It's interesting.

529
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,120
Speaker 2: Okay, Now, there's a lot going on in this particular

530
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,160
Speaker 2: episode with everyone else also, so let's talk about them

531
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 2: for a second, because there's some very very interesting things

532
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 2: for Carrie. Carrie's going out with the jazz guy now,

533
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 2: which is very interesting and different, and she tells the

534
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 2: girls in this episode that she has the best orgasm

535
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:52,959
Speaker 2: of her life or one of the best orgasms of

536
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 2: her life and that normally she has to be in

537
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 2: love with someone for that to happen, and what does

538
00:28:58,680 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 2: it all mean?

539
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 1: And I I think that's really really interesting. What do

540
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 1: you make of this?

541
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 3: So it's it is interesting because what I'm noticing with

542
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 3: Carrie and the jazz guy is that she's almost like, oh,

543
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 3: I've never really been with someone who's kind of forced

544
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 3: me to follow along with him, like she's following him.

545
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 3: She is not in the lead really at all, and

546
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 3: we kind of find out why later, but he is.

547
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 3: He's kind of like a no, no, no, listen to me. No,

548
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 3: I'm doing this. You want this, I'm going to give

549
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 3: you this, and he even he takes the lead in

550
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 3: the bedroom, and she just kind of has to be

551
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,920
Speaker 3: a passenger, which is kind of sexy too, right, Sometimes

552
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 3: it's just nice to be a passenger, Yeah, a passenger princess.

553
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:50,480
Speaker 3: But I think what's great about the way that she

554
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 3: handles it is that I love that she goes back

555
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 3: to talk to the girls kind of like a this

556
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 3: is great and all, but there's something up because I mean,

557
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 3: for somebody who's enjoying the sex as much as she is,

558
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 3: I'm surprised she would even like remotely put ink into

559
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,719
Speaker 3: the water, right, Yeah, And she's just kind of waiting

560
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 3: to hear, like what's going on with this? And they

561
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 3: could have been like they could have maybe burst her bubble,

562
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 3: they didn't sound well.

563
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 2: The truth is Carrie doesn't really let anyone burst her bubble,

564
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 2: if you've noticed, because all of us at one point

565
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 2: are like no more big, and yet she does what

566
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 2: she does, you know what I'm trying to say. But

567
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 2: I mean, she talks to us about it, which is great.

568
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 2: But I think it's interesting because like, on the one hand,

569
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 2: we've got the tray situation, which is all complicated now

570
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 2: and they're trying and he's trying, and you know whatnot

571
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 2: there's very clearly like he has kind of a you know,

572
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 2: difficulty being fully intimate with someone who he also wants

573
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 2: to be with I guess right, Like he likes the

574
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 2: drugs magazine, as we discussed, and he wants to have

575
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 2: sex in the cab and whatnot. And for her it's

576
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 2: kind of interesting also in that she's basically saying that

577
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 2: it's a surprise to her that she doesn't know him

578
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 2: that well. She's kind of trying to connect with him

579
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 2: in other ways, it's not really working so well, but

580
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 2: yet she has one of the best orgasms of her entire.

581
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: Life, which is saying a lot.

582
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 2: And also it does seem like it is related to

583
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 2: the fact that she's not really trying to do anything

584
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 2: or trying to get something from him in an interesting.

585
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 3: Way, She's not performing at all. She's not trying to

586
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 3: seduce him. I mean, she's trying to get him too focus.

587
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 1: Right, which is right, right, right.

588
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 3: But other than that, it's almost like she's she's having

589
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 3: to say, wait a minute, don't you want some sort

590
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 3: of an emotional connection, like wait a minute, right?

591
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 2: But it's kind of cool and interesting in a way,

592
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 2: and it reminds me of one of our very first episodes,

593
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 2: which is can you have sex like a man? Can

594
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 2: women have sex like a man?

595
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: Remember this?

596
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 2: And it was all about like, can we not have

597
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 2: an attachment or can we just look at it as

598
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 2: Good said, in the way that men are seemingly able

599
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 2: And I don't know if that's even true. Do you

600
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 2: think that's true that men and women are different in

601
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 2: the fundamental way that we look at sex.

602
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's a male female thing but

603
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 3: I do think that societally and socially we as women

604
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 3: could learn something from men about the way that they

605
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 3: are able to let fantasies just swirl around them all

606
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 3: the time. And sexual thoughts. I think for women we

607
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 3: have to compartmentalize. We tend to compartmentalize, It's true much yeah,

608
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 3: And I think men are just so good about being like, oh,

609
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 3: there's a sexy you know, stimuli, there's you know, there's

610
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 3: a really good looking button, and they almost like let

611
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 3: these thoughts in. They let them swirl around. Sometimes they masturbate,

612
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 3: most of the time they don't. They can talk about it.

613
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 3: And with women, I feel like it's very much oh

614
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 3: I should not be thinking about that right now, or

615
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 3: oh that's wrong to say that, or why am I

616
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 3: looking at that. It's all just push push, We reject

617
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 3: these thoughts away. And I feel like that's the main

618
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 3: difference that I see. I just I wish I'm not

619
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 3: saying that we need to be like men, but I

620
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 3: do think that women need to allow sexy thoughts to

621
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 3: come in a lot more often and prioritize them in

622
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,640
Speaker 3: order to have a healthier fantasy life and that mind

623
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 3: body connection, so that when they are in the mood

624
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 3: or they want to be in the mood, they can

625
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 3: access that quickly.

626
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,680
Speaker 1: Oh that's very interesting. That makes it sense.

627
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,720
Speaker 3: Fantasy is really big, and I have something for that too,

628
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 3: because I'm telling you I've been doing this a long

629
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 3: time and I'm like, look, you're not going to see me,

630
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 3: but come to my website, my vivid Fantasy. It is

631
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 3: a way to create your own fantasy using almost like

632
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 3: it's multiple choice and it spits out something that then

633
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 3: you can read as often as you'd like to get

634
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 3: you in the mood. And it came from an in

635
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 3: office activity that I used to do, especially with women

636
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 3: who are like, I've never fantasized, I don't even know

637
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 3: what's sexy. And then I would ask them questions, looking

638
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 3: down at my notebook, giving them, you know, but asking

639
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 3: them like where would you want to be touched and

640
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 3: what would you be smelling and what would the lighting

641
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 3: be like? And by the end of it, they're like,

642
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 3: oh my gosh. First of all, I'm a little hot

643
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 3: and bothered. Second of all, I didn't know that that

644
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 3: was in here. Wow, And I'm like, yes it is.

645
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,800
Speaker 3: But we just don't take the time to really fantasize

646
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 3: and now with audio erotica, it makes it so much

647
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:26,880
Speaker 3: easier with audiobooks and with you know, we call it cliterotica.

648
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: And things like that.

649
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 3: I feel like I feel like we're much more into it.

650
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 3: But it's so much better when you can access it

651
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 3: in your own brain.

652
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:34,760
Speaker 1: Of course.

653
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,400
Speaker 2: I mean, I think that really touches on so many things.

654
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:40,359
Speaker 2: And one and this is also just a fundamental part

655
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 2: of our show is trying to peel back the layers

656
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:47,439
Speaker 2: of shame put onto women by society for you know,

657
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 2: hundreds of years. And I feel like we want to

658
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 2: and culturally we're kind of moving towards it. But then

659
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 2: sometimes I also feel and I'm curious your thoughts on this.

660
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 2: When our show came out, you know, it was kind

661
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,360
Speaker 2: of a shocking thing right nowineteen ninety very shocking.

662
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 3: I remember, I don't even think I was allowed to watch.

663
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 1: But I should, yay.

664
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 2: And now it's less shocking, right But still when you

665
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,360
Speaker 2: look at the episode, some of the things are still like,

666
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,840
Speaker 2: oh no, that's still happening. But I was talking to

667
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 2: someone we were talking about the naked dress in the

668
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 2: first season, and we were just laughing about the way

669
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 2: red carpets are now like basically people just don't even

670
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:21,320
Speaker 2: wear clothes.

671
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 1: I mean it's.

672
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 2: Bizarre, right, Like it's bizarre sometimes and hopefully we've gone,

673
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 2: we've gone all the way we can go in that area.

674
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 1: And now we might be coming back.

675
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 2: But I sometimes wonder about like the realness is almost

676
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 2: like a performative freedom, you know, for women in a

677
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 2: way like I don't know, I don't feel like like,

678
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 2: for instance, what you're talking about about almost just giving

679
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 2: your self permission to fantasize and think the sexual thoughts

680
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 2: that one might have during the day, just as a

681
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 2: normal human being, right that men allow themselves to do,

682
00:35:56,640 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 2: but women still have to kind of teach themselves to

683
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 2: allow like let those things happen, let your mind go,

684
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 2: and that.

685
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be in public. It doesn't have

686
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 3: to be performative. You don't have to let the whole

687
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 3: table know you can, right y'all have sex, and the

688
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 3: city taught us that you absolutely can and you might

689
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 3: get looks from the other table, most of the time

690
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 3: you won't, but that it doesn't have to be something

691
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 3: that you're doing for someone else's benefit, especially if you're

692
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 3: thinking about it from the male gaze gaze. I don't

693
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 3: encourage women to do that for the sake of their partner.

694
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:39,760
Speaker 3: It's for you. Your brain is your largest sexual organ.

695
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 3: If you're using it, awesome. If you're not, you're missing

696
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 3: out on some stuff. So it's not for only to

697
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 3: be in a partnered relationship. It's not only to satisfy

698
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 3: your partner's needs, but really to tap into something that

699
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 3: is already in you, within you, and is a part

700
00:36:56,719 --> 00:37:00,120
Speaker 3: of you, just like every other part of your body.

701
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 2: Really interesting, yeah, really really interesting. And I do feel

702
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 2: like this work kind of just continues culturally, right, Like

703
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 2: we're just kind of just trying to deep in and

704
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 2: out and you're seeing it in like people's specific lives

705
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,040
Speaker 2: how it's playing out, which is so interesting.

706
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then to see it on screen in so

707
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:24,320
Speaker 3: many different ways. It's like they're all case studies. Every

708
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 3: single one night stand, every single relationship, every single friendship,

709
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 3: all of that. It's to me now looking back and

710
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 3: rewatching these episodes, they're all case studies. And I love

711
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 3: it because a lot of them, I'm like, these writers,

712
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 3: who were they taking who are they consulting with?

713
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 2: Well, sex therap the writers were putting their own stories

714
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 2: in there, or stories of our friends, so it could

715
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 2: be once removed, right, but they had to have some

716
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:52,720
Speaker 2: personal knowledge of something that was happening.

717
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:52,920
Speaker 1: Now.

718
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,920
Speaker 2: Sometimes, like in the instance of the Trace situation, no

719
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,920
Speaker 2: one ever confessed to me whose story that was, And

720
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 2: I don't know if it was particularly anyone's because most

721
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 2: of our writers at this point in time. We had

722
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 2: Jenny Banks, one of our writers, on the other day

723
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 2: and she was saying, like all of them, I can't

724
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,320
Speaker 2: I can't remember what she said exactly, were like criminally

725
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 2: single or whatever, like they could not because we were

726
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 2: just working so much, you know, so the writers.

727
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 3: Because the writers were very difficult.

728
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:20,880
Speaker 1: Right, and they were with us all the time on

729
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 1: the set.

730
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 3: You know.

731
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 2: It wasn't like they would write and turn it in

732
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 2: and not come. They were like with us, which was wonderful,

733
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 2: But they weren't able. They weren't really to the point

734
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:31,279
Speaker 2: in their lives where they had successful relationships. It was

735
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 2: more them trying to date and try to figure things out.

736
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 2: And then late later on they did and wrote some

737
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 2: of those things in. But like the Trade thing, I

738
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 2: think we were creating the Tray story line as time

739
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 2: went on, because we kept Kyle longer than the original idea,

740
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 2: So they're just trying to kind of figure out what

741
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 2: would the problems be and you know, being I think

742
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 2: super creative about it, you know in terms of, you know,

743
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 2: people might have these problems but then also might not

744
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 2: know how to handle them, and we're we're so hampered.

745
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 2: Both both characters, Charlotte and Trey are hampered by kind

746
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,719
Speaker 2: of their ideals and what they're trying to kind of

747
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:14,760
Speaker 2: hold up.

748
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 3: Well and their pride, right, yeah, yeah, pride involved. There's ego.

749
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 3: You know. He starts kind of it's like, I don't

750
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 3: even know how to describe the talk that he's giving

751
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 3: his Johnson when it's like when he's trying to give

752
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 3: himself a pep talk and he's like, yeah, look, I'm

753
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,320
Speaker 3: like and he's so into the fact that he's got

754
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 3: this erection finally that is maintaining and she's at this

755
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 3: point like, oh my gosh, this is not even going

756
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 3: to be.

757
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 1: About us, right, that's sad. It makes me say.

758
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 3: It's sad, but that happens too. You get someone who

759
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 3: has this reawakening sexually or for the first time ever

760
00:39:56,200 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 3: within a relationship, and their partners can sometimes feel insecure

761
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 3: about that, and it can sometimes feel like, well, wait,

762
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:08,760
Speaker 3: it seems like I'm now your toy right now, your tool,

763
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 3: you know, And I think for her it was almost

764
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 3: like a wait, am I even here? Like this hasn't

765
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 3: heard that? It's right? You know? Right? Right? No?

766
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 1: I think that's very very true.

767
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 2: And I think I mean in this particular episode is

768
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:26,000
Speaker 2: when she's like, you know, when she leaves because he

769
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 2: wants her to measures his penis or.

770
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 1: Whatever, and she's like, I hope you want penis. You

771
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 1: and your penis have a wonderful night. Like it's just like, oh.

772
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 3: My gosh, exactly.

773
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:38,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's all about that now, you know, it's all.

774
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 3: About that now. And she's like, oh my gosh, this

775
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,319
Speaker 3: isn't going to be our sex side. This is now

776
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:49,279
Speaker 3: going to be you being performative for yourself because you've

777
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 3: missed out on so many years. Well, that's not my

778
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,240
Speaker 3: that's not my issue, that's not my thing now.

779
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 2: Right Because she wants connection, she's trying to connect to

780
00:40:57,680 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 2: him Nick love.

781
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 3: She wants to have passion, and that's kind of been

782
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:06,360
Speaker 3: something that is just it's it's like just out of

783
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 3: reach for Trey and Charlotte so out of reach it is,

784
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:14,320
Speaker 3: and you're like, is this Are they ever going to

785
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 3: get it together? And then it's very clear in this

786
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 3: episode like no.

787
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:20,840
Speaker 2: Well, but then at the end he asked her to

788
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,760
Speaker 2: move back in. What did you think when that happened?

789
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 2: Were you like no, Charlotte? No, I'm like no, Charlotte, because.

790
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,360
Speaker 1: You know, you know the reality of this.

791
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 3: The reality is that she's now signing up for probably

792
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:40,839
Speaker 3: a lot of doubt. Right, there's going to be He's

793
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 3: going to feel like, well, what if it happens again?

794
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 3: And then she's going to wonder how you know, Oh, no,

795
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 3: we're starting all over again. And that can happen with

796
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,440
Speaker 3: lots of different dynamics and relationships where you're like, I'm

797
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 3: seeing the same I'm seeing these these signs again.

798
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:55,279
Speaker 1: Yeah.

799
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:58,400
Speaker 3: And I think I think the way that he and

800
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,840
Speaker 3: more importantly, the way that he handled the entire sexual

801
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 3: issue for the duration of their marriage, however short lived,

802
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 3: was that was such a red flag.

803
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 1: Right that the handling of it, not the actual issue.

804
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:16,440
Speaker 3: Handling it, because I mean, even if he had said

805
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 3: I know that this is a big deal, I just

806
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:21,359
Speaker 3: don't know how to deal with it, or I'm so

807
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 3: embarrassed or how why would you want to be with

808
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 3: somebody who's dealing with this, like anything that points back

809
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 3: to I care, right, that would have made such a

810
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:31,800
Speaker 3: big difference.

811
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 1: Right, right.

812
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 2: And he doesn't really say things like that, does he? No,

813
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 2: he doesn't. Oh my gosh, I know. I mean it's

814
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:39,959
Speaker 2: so hard for me to watch it because I want

815
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 2: Charlotte to get what Charlotte wants, right, because I did

816
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 2: live live that storyline. And so when he comes to

817
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 2: the door with her with her engagement ring again and

818
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 2: kind of proposes, because remember she proposed in the beginning,

819
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 2: which I also do think like there is a way

820
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,760
Speaker 2: that you can look at their whole relationship as being

821
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:03,839
Speaker 2: somewhat her doing because she was so focused on that

822
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,200
Speaker 2: goal of marriage.

823
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,800
Speaker 3: I mean, again, having had the opportunity to go through

824
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:16,360
Speaker 3: and see very now much more focused on just their storyline.

825
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 3: She's not a victim, no, no, it's not a victim,

826
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 3: no no. But I think she had good intentions. She

827
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 3: thought she thought he just needs a little prompting. There's

828
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:32,239
Speaker 3: some manipulation there, you know, with the touching and the

829
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,400
Speaker 3: and and she you know, learning it from Bunny who

830
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 3: does it best. But it was just very interesting that

831
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 3: she's she's getting what she wants it, but not the

832
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 3: exact way that she envisioned it.

833
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:50,319
Speaker 2: That's her shame, right, And I think, I mean, I

834
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 2: think it's so great, like just for who she is

835
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:57,440
Speaker 2: as a character is so perfectly crafted that you know,

836
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 2: she posts is very poetic and also just so also

837
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 2: painful that it plays out how it does over time.

838
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:09,200
Speaker 2: And yet he's he gives her just enough that she

839
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 2: stays in, Like every time she tries to, you know,

840
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 2: get out. She comes at one point with the list

841
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 2: This is a couple episodes back or maybe the end

842
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 2: of Thursdays, and she's like, I have a listen.

843
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,400
Speaker 1: We've got to talk about these things. And he's like, no, no,

844
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 1: let's make out. And she's like, but no, no, I'm

845
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 1: trying to talk about these things.

846
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,719
Speaker 2: It's like I've really been there.

847
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 3: Push, yeah, push, And that exists in so many relationships

848
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 3: and sex is often the catalyst to feeling like wait,

849
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 3: what are we building off of? You know, every time

850
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 3: I go to talk to you about something important, you

851
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 3: kind of blind me with your sexual prowess or you know,

852
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 3: you make me feel so good that it's like, oh,

853
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 3: all is forgiven right. But that said, he's not the

854
00:44:56,239 --> 00:45:00,840
Speaker 3: villain either, No, No, I mean it's he is just immature,

855
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 3: and I think he's so kind of ambivalent about things,

856
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:09,480
Speaker 3: and I think that's just his upbringing and probably you know,

857
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 3: being a doctor, a medical doctor that he's playing a

858
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 3: medical doctor. I feel like there is this sense of

859
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:20,400
Speaker 3: black and white. There is this sense of or he

860
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 3: may have known this is a much bigger issue and

861
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:26,399
Speaker 3: he just didn't want to face it, right.

862
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:28,399
Speaker 2: Like when you see the word ambivalence, I mean that's

863
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 2: the perfect word, because it's like in the scenes where

864
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:35,399
Speaker 2: Charlotte's just trying so hard and he's just got that

865
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 2: wall up, you know.

866
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:38,400
Speaker 1: Oh, it was so painful.

867
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 2: And I've just been there in so many different ways,

868
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 2: not around this particular thing.

869
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:44,400
Speaker 1: But I mean, I'm sure.

870
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 2: All the women listening and me do right, like, you know,

871
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:51,359
Speaker 2: when you're just trying so hard to not be mean,

872
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 2: to not you know, shame in any way.

873
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:56,800
Speaker 3: To not to not let those walls go up, right,

874
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,800
Speaker 3: let me, you know, let me just be a little tiptoe,

875
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:04,399
Speaker 3: mat me just be sweet and open. And she does that,

876
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 3: and I mean I know that they were able to

877
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,759
Speaker 3: share her frustration and they were able to show that she's,

878
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 3: like she really cares, if she's really frustrated to not

879
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 3: get any of that from his side. There's such a

880
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 3: stark contrast. I know she cares, he doesn't. She wants

881
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 3: to do something about it. He is shutting it down.

882
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:29,919
Speaker 3: He's he obviously knows that something's going on, but he's

883
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 3: not addressing it. And you're like, okay, well, maybe all

884
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 3: of that will come together and he'll when he thinks

885
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 3: he's going to lose her, right, That's when most people

886
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 3: are going to try when he thinks he's going to

887
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:43,440
Speaker 3: lose her. Maybe right, But no, not really.

888
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:47,279
Speaker 2: I know it's so hard and so relatable. It just

889
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 2: in terms of those those relationships that you want to

890
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:54,279
Speaker 2: make work, but yet there is just a lack of

891
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 2: some commitment on both sides.

892
00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:00,839
Speaker 3: He follow through, right, Yeah, it's the follow through. And

893
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:05,240
Speaker 3: I'm glad that at some point she realized, like, I

894
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:06,720
Speaker 3: can't do this all alone.

895
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:07,720
Speaker 1: I know she's strong.

896
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:09,799
Speaker 2: She's strong, Like I mean, she already tried to leave

897
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:11,799
Speaker 2: it once, like when they're when they're out at you know,

898
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 2: when she makes out with the gardener and she's like, yeah,

899
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:16,440
Speaker 2: we should separate. I was like, Wow, Charlotte brave. But

900
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 2: obviously it doesn't last. But I totally get it because

901
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:20,240
Speaker 2: who wouldn't want to try?

902
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I get it. You guys.

903
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 2: This is so much fun that we're going to have

904
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:25,800
Speaker 2: to have a part two, so join us later in

905
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:29,840
Speaker 2: the week on are You a Charlotte