1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 1: Guys and girls cannot be close besties. Guys and girls 2 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:24,920 Speaker 1: cannot be best friends. What's up everybody? Welcome to the podcast, 3 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:29,480 Speaker 1: Episode two. Thanks for listening wherever you're coming from. Grateful 4 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: to have this platform, and I'm just talking. I don't 5 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 1: have any notes in front of me. I'm just gonna 6 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,560 Speaker 1: answer your questions, which you could email me granger at 7 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:42,839 Speaker 1: excuse me, Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. They've got 8 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:47,200 Speaker 1: a lot of emails. Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. 9 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: Ask me anything. And you know, it's funny because I 10 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: listened back on some of the Instagram and TikTok clips 11 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 1: that we have from this podcast, and I think to myself, 12 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: I'm right with these answers, like sixty five percent of 13 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 1: the time. That's what I think, because I'm just making 14 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,320 Speaker 1: this up as I go. If it's biblically based, it's 15 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 1: going to be right. But if it's opinion based, and 16 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,680 Speaker 1: I think I'm right in my opinion about sixty five 17 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:21,680 Speaker 1: percent of the time. So for what it's worth, when 18 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: I listen back on TikTok or Instagram or wherever my 19 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 1: clips are played, I might be thinking the same thing 20 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: you're thinking that he's not totally right about this. Let's 21 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: get to the first question and we'll see if I 22 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: could be a little bit more right than I was 23 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,400 Speaker 1: in the past. First question, I haven't read these. I'm 24 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,679 Speaker 1: not prompted. I have no idea what I'm getting into. 25 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,040 Speaker 1: I read them. The first time you hear them is 26 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 1: the first time I'm hearing it too. The subject line 27 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 1: on this one says she doesn't want to get married. Hey, Granger, 28 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: I'm looking for some advice. I feel like I don't 29 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 1: have anyone that's really close to me that will give 30 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 1: me an honest answer, so hopefully you get help me out. 31 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: My fiance and I've been together for seven years and 32 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 1: engaged for four years. I've been married twice and she's 33 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: been married once. Both of us have had bad luck 34 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: in the past and have been treated horribly. Without getting 35 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: into the details, I'll keep it simple. I've been going 36 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:17,560 Speaker 1: to church and growing my faith. I take her adopted 37 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 1: niece and my daughter to church on a regular basis. 38 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: She usually ninety five percent doesn't go with us. I 39 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,080 Speaker 1: obviously want to marry her since I asked her, but 40 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 1: she doesn't want to get married anymore. She doesn't want 41 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 1: anything to change She's very happy where we are, but 42 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: isn't into having a piece of paper making our relationship legal. 43 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 1: How do I move forward here? I'm really concerned as 44 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: I am happy with where we are and I don't 45 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 1: want to push anything on her. Granger, please help, Sincerely, 46 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:52,639 Speaker 1: Nate Smith. All right, cool, good, good way to start 47 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: the podcast. And Nate, I would ask you if we 48 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 1: were if I like to answer these questions as if 49 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: we're just riding in the truck to go, you know, 50 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,320 Speaker 1: we're on a road trip together. We're heading somewhere, and 51 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:07,920 Speaker 1: you say, hey, Granger, got some got some some questions. 52 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 1: I want to ask you, man, do you have any 53 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,960 Speaker 1: advice for me? You know, got the got the windows down, 54 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 1: radio up a little bit, and I turned the radio 55 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,639 Speaker 1: down a couple couple of notches, and I say, yeah, Nate, 56 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 1: what's up? Man? Hey mat you could be my cousin. 57 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:26,519 Speaker 1: You're Nate Smith. And you say, yeah, it's about this girl, 58 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 1: my fiance. I want to marry her. At this point, 59 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 1: I look at you, Nate, if you tell me this story, 60 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: I look at you, and I say, you want me 61 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 1: to be nice to you? You want to kind of 62 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 1: pacify the situation and just kind of rush over this, 63 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: be super sweet to you. Say you want me to 64 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: say something like this, Nate, the world is yours, brother, 65 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 1: Just go out and grab it. Follow your instinct. If 66 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: you love this girl and and you're happy without a 67 00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: piece of paper, then just live like that. Man. It's 68 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: about your happiness. It's about finding the ultimate goal of 69 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:10,119 Speaker 1: peace and tranquility and euphoria. Just relax, man, I mean, 70 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 1: life doesn't have to be complicated, Nate. Just just chill out. 71 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 1: You want me to say that. You want me to 72 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,480 Speaker 1: say that, Nate, or you want me to tell you 73 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: what I really think. It's kind of a cross where 74 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 1: it roads, because you know, I've got a podcast and 75 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to I don't want to lose people 76 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,840 Speaker 1: like I don't want you to listen to this and go, man, 77 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: I'm not listening to that podcast anymore. But telling the 78 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 1: truth is more important than losing a few subscribers on 79 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:42,040 Speaker 1: the podcast. And so since you're not here to answer, 80 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 1: I would either not answer anything at all to you, 81 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:45,920 Speaker 1: or I would tell you the truth. And since you're 82 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 1: not here to choose one of those options, I'll tell 83 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 1: you the truth. Where do I even start? That's the question. 84 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 1: I have to myself. Your fiance and you have been 85 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: together for seven years, and you've been engaged for four 86 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:17,839 Speaker 1: years together for seven you've been married twice before that, 87 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: she's been married once before that. You've been treated horribly, 88 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,479 Speaker 1: as you said, bad luck, which I don't agree with 89 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,920 Speaker 1: bad don't. I don't believe in bad luck. And then 90 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 1: you say you've been going to church and growing your faith, 91 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 1: just kind of chopping away and just building. You're building 92 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: on something, building building on some on some faith. You 93 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:48,040 Speaker 1: take her niece and your daughter to church on a 94 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: regular basis. And this this other girl says, I ain't 95 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,360 Speaker 1: going to church. In fact, I don't want to get 96 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: married to you. I don't think a piece of paper 97 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: defines a relationship. So I'm staying home. You go to church. 98 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 1: If that whatever floats your vote, Nate, you do it. 99 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,920 Speaker 1: And now you're being a little you're convicted on the inside, 100 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,599 Speaker 1: and you're saying, I don't know what this is right, 101 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,839 Speaker 1: because maybe I'm hearing a couple of things in church. 102 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: That's saying a few things that's kind of contradicting the 103 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 1: way I'm living right now. Now, See, God gives us 104 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: the law and hopefully a good Bible, believe in church 105 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: will tell you what the law is, and Jesus fulfills 106 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 1: the law totally completely. The law is not set for 107 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:38,960 Speaker 1: us to put us in chains, to shackle us, to 108 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:42,119 Speaker 1: keep us in prison, to hold us back from having fun. 109 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:46,720 Speaker 1: The law is to set us free. The law is 110 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: going to set us free. You're in violation right now 111 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:55,719 Speaker 1: in the law. You're living with a woman, having sex 112 00:06:55,760 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 1: with this woman, without marriage, without anything. You're you're just 113 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,160 Speaker 1: freely doing this over the last seven years. And you've 114 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: been engaged for four which means nothing. Your engagement means nothing, Nate, brother, 115 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: I'm telling you this as a friend. Your engagement is meaningless. 116 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 1: Why because it's been four years and the woman doesn't 117 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 1: want to marry you. Sorry, I'm trying not to yell. 118 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: And the woman doesn't want to marry you. Man, she 119 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: says it herself. Yeah, cool, we're engaged. It means nothing 120 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: to me. I don't want to marry you. How does 121 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: how does that make you feel? Man? You're in violation 122 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 1: of God's law. You're going against the Church of with 123 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: the faith that you're growing. You've got a woman that 124 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: you've been engaged with for four years that doesn't want 125 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,840 Speaker 1: to marry you, that comes from a bad relationship before 126 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 1: marriage before and you've already gone through this tool. I 127 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 1: don't want to yell, I don't want to get I try. 128 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: I've tried not to be so excited y'all on these podcasts. 129 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 1: I feel like I get too excited. I'm trying. I'm 130 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: trying to tone it down. Nate, You've already been through 131 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: two marriages that messed up, and it looks like you're 132 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 1: heading down this path again by trying to force the 133 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 1: hand of a woman that doesn't want to marry you, 134 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: that doesn't want to go to church with you and 135 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 1: be a part of this thing that you got going 136 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 1: on at church, right and you're asking me for advice 137 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 1: on what to do. What kind of friend would I 138 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 1: be to tell you to stay with her and keep 139 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: on pushing because you know why she makes you happy. 140 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:40,480 Speaker 1: What kind of friend would I be to tell you that, man, 141 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 1: this isn't gonna work. It's not gonna work. Man. You 142 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: gonna have to leave this woman, and you're gonna have 143 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 1: to say goodbye to the adopted niece, and you're gonna 144 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: take your daughter and you're gonna be single for a 145 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: while in this little faith thing that you think you 146 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 1: think you're growing, which in fact, God gives us faith. 147 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: It's a gift. Faith is a gift from God. So 148 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: if you feel something and you feel a tug to church, 149 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 1: that is a gift from God, and you follow that 150 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,920 Speaker 1: not because of your own effort, but because you're following 151 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 1: the call in response to a God that still loves 152 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:25,319 Speaker 1: you through everything you've been through, and me everything I've 153 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: been through, and God that still loves us through that. 154 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 1: A response from that, not to gain his approval, but 155 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,319 Speaker 1: in a response of his love is to go God. 156 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:39,960 Speaker 1: I'm pouring in and I'm gonna take this law seriously. 157 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,839 Speaker 1: I'm gonna stop living with this woman in sin. I'm 158 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:47,079 Speaker 1: gonna go back to square one. I'm gonna be single 159 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 1: with my daughter and Nate. I've given you about nine 160 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 1: minutes on this, and I'm sorry if I've come across 161 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:58,000 Speaker 1: as harsh or anything like that, but I've tried to 162 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: reel in my passion, just wanting you to know that 163 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 1: I care about you, man, I care about you. I 164 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,000 Speaker 1: don't want you to have to live a life like 165 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: this and have these tough decisions come up that actually 166 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:17,959 Speaker 1: are not tough decisions. It's not tough. Does that make sense? 167 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,959 Speaker 1: This is not a tough decision. You got to leave 168 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 1: this woman start over. I'm not saying she's not the 169 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 1: right one, but she's definitely not anywhere close to being 170 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 1: right now. You need to be single, and you need 171 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,480 Speaker 1: to be content in that singleness, and you need to 172 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: pour into the church, and you need to figure out 173 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: what this whole faith thing means. Wrestle with that. Let's 174 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: grab another question here, man, you guys, just pour them on, 175 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:51,280 Speaker 1: because this next subject is called alcohol and the Bible. 176 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:56,079 Speaker 1: Her girandrumin name is Caleb from northwest iah, Ohio. I'm 177 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 1: twenty three. The last couple of days have been diving 178 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 1: into the Bible seeking what it says about alcohol. It 179 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 1: says in Galatians five nineteen through twenty one that drunkenness 180 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 1: is an act of sinful nature. It says for in 181 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: verse Peter five eight, to be alert and sober minded, 182 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 1: and that the devil prowls around like a roaring line 183 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:17,360 Speaker 1: looking for someone to devour. Should Christians avoid alcohol if drinking? 184 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: If drinking, it can lead to drunkenness, which is a sin. 185 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 1: Has stated in the Bible it's having a beer every 186 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 1: once in a while a sin. This is a hot topic. 187 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 1: I've talked with people close to me about it, and 188 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 1: I've gotten their opinions, and I've heard both sides. I 189 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 1: appreciate you, brother, and I hope you can give me 190 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 1: some clarification on this issue. Caleb, thanks for emailing. Brother. Okay, 191 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:45,280 Speaker 1: so we're man, We're going for marriage. We're going for 192 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 1: biblical marriage, straight into alcohol. Good podcasts so far. Okay, 193 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 1: there is a There is a definite answer I can 194 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 1: give you with blurry lines on the on ease of it, 195 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 1: if that makes sense. Is drinking alcohol a sin? No, 196 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 1: it's not. No, it's not. This has been, as you said, 197 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: a topic of debate for a long long time, and 198 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 1: a lot of churches have debated this over years. The 199 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 1: consensus of the conservative evangelicals today is that drinking alcohol 200 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 1: is not a sin. It's not a violation of the 201 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:33,079 Speaker 1: church in any way. And the conservative evangelical circles, there 202 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 1: are other circles that are going to say, Nope, you 203 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:42,080 Speaker 1: can't drink anything nothing right. However, as you mentioned, drunkenness 204 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:46,679 Speaker 1: is a sin. So where do you draw that line 205 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 1: that my friend is left up to you. Is having 206 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,719 Speaker 1: a beer every once in a while a problem? No? 207 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: For most people. Are you going to ask that question 208 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: if you're an alcoho, Hey grangeer, I'm an alcoholic. Is 209 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 1: having a beer every once in a while a problem? Yes? 210 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:10,200 Speaker 1: It is right? It is. Is someone that never struggles 211 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 1: with alcohol and it's not a problem. And they're not 212 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 1: around other alcoholics that they could perhaps bring down, that 213 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:21,319 Speaker 1: they could perhaps trip up if they're not around that 214 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,560 Speaker 1: and they've never had a problem. Is having a glass 215 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,600 Speaker 1: of wine with your wife on a nice steak dinner 216 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 1: to celebrate your anniversary a sin? No? Is having a 217 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 1: beer with your dad on the back porch on the 218 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 1: fourth of July watching some fireworks, maybe with your grandpa 219 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:45,400 Speaker 1: sitting on the dock of a lake and beautiful Montana 220 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,680 Speaker 1: trout fishing, and he says, you want to share a 221 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:53,360 Speaker 1: beer with me? Is that a sin? No? His granddad 222 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 1: an alcoholic and he's been struggling with his whole life 223 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 1: and there is devastation all around because of grandpa. And 224 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,520 Speaker 1: he says, you want to have a beer with me? 225 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:05,320 Speaker 1: The answer is no, And you could be causing him 226 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:08,960 Speaker 1: to send by saying yes. Does that making sense. It's 227 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 1: a blurry line, but it's pretty easy to read. Like, 228 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:16,200 Speaker 1: this is a pretty easy language to read. Right, You're 229 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:20,400 Speaker 1: not going to drink in order to possibly make someone 230 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 1: fall if they're prone to falling to alcohol, and you're 231 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 1: not going to touch it. If you have a a 232 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,680 Speaker 1: some kind of desire to be an alcoholic, or maybe 233 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,880 Speaker 1: it's genetically in you, or maybe you have struggled with 234 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 1: it in the past, maybe you just have zero tolerance, 235 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 1: then it's a problem. This is pretty straightforward stuff. I mean, 236 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 1: we see the Disciples drinking wine. Does that make sense? 237 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think there's much more. You 238 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: won't ask me. You won't ask what I do. I 239 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:59,440 Speaker 1: don't drink, at least right now. I'm around some guys, 240 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: I'm around some musicians that it probably could look like 241 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:08,080 Speaker 1: I'm tripping people up. So I choose right now to 242 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 1: not drink. Does that make sense? Let's move on next question, 243 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:18,200 Speaker 1: how to choose to continue doing something? Hey, grand drum, 244 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 1: fifteen years old. My name is Caleb, and I finished 245 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:24,360 Speaker 1: my first football season and I have enjoyed it. But 246 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 1: there is so much time that is taken up. I 247 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: need to know what to do last year. I missed 248 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 1: out on a lot of things during the summer, and 249 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 1: I wish I didn't. I feel like I'm not being 250 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:37,840 Speaker 1: pointed towards the direction anymore. What should I do? What 251 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 1: is the question? Caleb. You're saying, you played football, you 252 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,240 Speaker 1: finished it, you enjoyed it, but it took up a 253 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 1: lot of time, that's what you're saying. So you're trying 254 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 1: to figure out if you should do it again. And 255 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 1: you're fifteen. Well I was fifteen once in the state 256 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 1: of Texas. Football was a big deal. It was a 257 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 1: big deal. I loved it. If you don't love it, 258 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 1: which you didn't say in this email, if you don't 259 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,200 Speaker 1: love it, then you finish the current season you're on. 260 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,880 Speaker 1: You never want to quit. You want to finish the 261 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 1: race in the season, the current season you're in. You 262 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 1: don't have to restart it next season. But I want 263 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,600 Speaker 1: you to finish and make sure that you that everything 264 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 1: you're doing is for the right reason. Here's what I mean. 265 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: I think football is a great thing for you to 266 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 1: kick back in next season. If it's a it's if 267 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,080 Speaker 1: it's going to keep you out of trouble, it's going 268 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: to keep you in shape, it's gonna keep some camaraderie 269 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 1: going with you and your buddies. It's gonna give you 270 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 1: a sense of a sense of suffering that you could 271 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: overcome through pain of two days. And then you you 272 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 1: you overcome the pain and the physical discomfort as you 273 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 1: train through it and you get better and you push 274 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:57,360 Speaker 1: your body past certain limits that you didn't think you could. 275 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,960 Speaker 1: That's what that's what football is great about. To overcome 276 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:09,399 Speaker 1: an adversity, embracing competition, loss, embracing loss, maybe devastating loss 277 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 1: in a football game, and then understanding how to adapt 278 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:18,920 Speaker 1: to be the victor and being humble and having good sportsmanship. 279 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,879 Speaker 1: So everything I've named so far has nothing to do 280 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,600 Speaker 1: with the sport itself. It's just the involvement in that 281 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:28,679 Speaker 1: type of game. I think it's very helpful for a student, 282 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 1: very helpful for a fifteen year old kid. And it 283 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 1: keeps you out of trouble. It keeps you off the streets, 284 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 1: out of you know, problems that you could have when 285 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,679 Speaker 1: you get bored. It keeps you motivated, it gets you 286 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,560 Speaker 1: up early in the morning. There's a lot of good things. 287 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,400 Speaker 1: And so if you're if you're gonna say I don't 288 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,920 Speaker 1: want to play next year. I want to hear your reasons. 289 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,960 Speaker 1: Like if we're in the cab of the truck having 290 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 1: this conversation, Caleb, I want to hear what are your reasons. 291 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 1: It's like, I just really like to sit on the 292 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 1: couch and playing video games, man, and I just haven't 293 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,000 Speaker 1: had time to catch up on Netflix. I just don't 294 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,640 Speaker 1: really get any YouTube scrolling in these days with football 295 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:09,639 Speaker 1: so busy. Or I got this little girlfriend and I 296 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 1: like her, and she likes a lot of my attention, 297 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 1: and when I'm at football, I don't get to give 298 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,560 Speaker 1: her all that attention. So I think I'm gonna quit 299 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:22,160 Speaker 1: football to have more time. If that's your reason, I say, nope, Caleb, 300 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:30,200 Speaker 1: go back to football. Let's take a break. Podcast is 301 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,879 Speaker 1: brought to you all by Manscaped. I got some breaking news. 302 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:37,359 Speaker 1: Manscaped now sales beard products. That's right, all you bearded dudes. 303 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 1: They are once again revolutionizing men's grooming with the brand 304 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,320 Speaker 1: new beard Hedger Pro Kit. From a beard trim to 305 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,040 Speaker 1: a fresh shave, the technology behind the Beard Hedger Pro 306 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 1: Kit allows you to shape your signature beard. Look. 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If you have a question for me, 340 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 1: email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com if you want 341 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,399 Speaker 1: to get an answer that's correct seventy percent of the time, 342 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,920 Speaker 1: maybe maybe sixty five. I'm probably right sixty five percent 343 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,040 Speaker 1: of the time, depending on what circles you run in. 344 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:03,440 Speaker 1: Maybe eighty maybe maybe. Oh. Let's get to the first question. 345 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,359 Speaker 1: Subject line says question balancing women and a relationship with God. 346 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,360 Speaker 1: Hey Granger, I'm a senior soon to be college graduate. 347 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 1: These past three weeks, have been getting to know a 348 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:18,440 Speaker 1: girl at my school, and we've met up a few times, 349 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,639 Speaker 1: and she seems very interested in me. Coincidentally, during the 350 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,120 Speaker 1: same time frame, God has been working in me and 351 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,680 Speaker 1: in my life, allowing me to grow closer to Him 352 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: than I've ever been. I'm struggling with determining whether i 353 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: should keep pursuing this woman or if I'm trying to 354 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 1: gratify some kind of secular desires. My intentions are in 355 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 1: the right place, but I'm not sure if God wants 356 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 1: me in a relationship right now. I find myself thinking 357 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,199 Speaker 1: about her often, but I am working to place my 358 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 1: focus on God and the purpose and direction he has 359 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,760 Speaker 1: given me. Any advice on how to balance here? This 360 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:58,000 Speaker 1: is a Is this temporal endeavor a temporal endeavor or 361 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:02,560 Speaker 1: a constituent of God's plan? Thanks Jeremy, All right, Jeremy, 362 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:06,440 Speaker 1: let's dive into this brother. Thanks for emailing and congratulations 363 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:10,080 Speaker 1: on soon to be college graduate. Man, that's huge news. 364 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:14,200 Speaker 1: So congratulations, and let's dive into your question. You said, 365 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,680 Speaker 1: there is a girl you've been getting to know at school. 366 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 1: You've met up a few times, she's interested in you, 367 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 1: and you also have been drawing near to God during 368 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 1: this time. So this is not When you're in this thing, 369 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,680 Speaker 1: it might seem tough, but from the outside looking it's 370 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:37,359 Speaker 1: not hard. It's really not. But we tend to make 371 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,439 Speaker 1: these things pretty difficult when we're on this in the 372 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 1: middle of it, we tend to dive in and overthink it. 373 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:51,760 Speaker 1: It's really pretty simple in the pursuit of this girl, 374 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:56,400 Speaker 1: which you know, God, God is clear in the Bible 375 00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:00,680 Speaker 1: that it is good for a man to leave the home, 376 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,879 Speaker 1: find a girl, and get married. That's good. That's a 377 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:09,960 Speaker 1: good thing. And I don't want us to start misreading 378 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:14,199 Speaker 1: the culture or misreading society and thinking that that's a 379 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 1: bad thing, like boy finds girl, starts liking her bad Like, like, well, 380 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: when where do how do we get there? This is 381 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 1: the most it's the most natural thing since Adam and Eve. 382 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,399 Speaker 1: Boy finds girl, falls in love, gets married. Not a 383 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 1: bad thing. And it's got to it's got to start 384 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,640 Speaker 1: somewhere in order to end up in marriage and family. 385 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,919 Speaker 1: It's got to start with you kind of like this girl. 386 00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 1: You think she's kind of interested in you. That's where 387 00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 1: it starts. Nothing wrong. So you continue down this path 388 00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 1: Jeremy until you find some kind of red flag that sin. Now, 389 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 1: when when when you're in the Bible and you're you're 390 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:03,399 Speaker 1: meditating on this daily and some kind of consistent reading plan, 391 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,480 Speaker 1: It's like I heard a question a couple questions ago 392 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 1: on this podcast. I already forgot, but it was like, 393 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 1: I'm searching through the Bible. Is the one about alcohol? 394 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,200 Speaker 1: I'm searching through the Bible to try to find something 395 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 1: about alcohol. So so many times we end up using 396 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:25,399 Speaker 1: the Bible like it's an encyclopedia or a dictionary, and 397 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 1: we're like we get this Bible and we're like flipping 398 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 1: through like it's a dictionary, trying to find a word 399 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:35,040 Speaker 1: that we could look up and define it, when in reality, 400 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: we need to take it in its whole context and 401 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,680 Speaker 1: we need to become familiar with it in a way 402 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 1: that we could understand the mind of God the best 403 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,119 Speaker 1: that a human can. We could understand the personality of 404 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,640 Speaker 1: God the best that a human can, and you could 405 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:57,680 Speaker 1: start you could start understanding who He is as revealed 406 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:01,680 Speaker 1: in the scriptures, and you could start understanding these different 407 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 1: scenarios that we walk through as he is revealed as 408 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:12,480 Speaker 1: your creator. So anyway My point is you won't. You 409 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,640 Speaker 1: don't want to open your Bible and just go what 410 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,120 Speaker 1: does it say about boylikes girl? You know, you want 411 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,760 Speaker 1: to want to read through and get a picture, a big, 412 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 1: beautiful picture of who God is and who his people are, 413 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:30,439 Speaker 1: and how he redeemed that people in the process of 414 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 1: how He redeemed them and renewed them and restored them 415 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: and ransomed them and freed them right. And so as 416 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,360 Speaker 1: we read through that, we see the relationships that we 417 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:47,439 Speaker 1: have with each other as humans, as fellow believers. We 418 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,560 Speaker 1: see that relationship, and then within that we see the 419 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:54,080 Speaker 1: relationship that boy has with girl. And so that we 420 00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,760 Speaker 1: see that that's a good thing. It's a good thing 421 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,440 Speaker 1: made by God for us to be in a relationship. 422 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,960 Speaker 1: It's a good thing to be attracted to a girl. 423 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,199 Speaker 1: It's a good thing for her to be interested in 424 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,480 Speaker 1: you back. So you take that and you walk that 425 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,800 Speaker 1: path until you go, boom, there's sin. I'm in sin. 426 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:15,200 Speaker 1: What could that be? A million things, Jeremy, It could 427 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 1: be a million things. One could be You're it's giving 428 00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:23,680 Speaker 1: you a sense of apathy towards the church. It's like, 429 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:25,760 Speaker 1: when I'm with this girl, I don't care about church. 430 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,480 Speaker 1: I don't care about God, I don't care about Bible. 431 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:31,479 Speaker 1: It's creating apathy in me that I just don't care anymore. 432 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:35,200 Speaker 1: I'm just too focused on worshiping the girl. She has 433 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 1: become an idol to me. Then you could realize in 434 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:41,919 Speaker 1: your heart, like, whoah, too far, that's a problem. Is 435 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 1: it me or is it her? Or is it both? 436 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:48,360 Speaker 1: I should I should fix this? Or does she draw 437 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:55,360 Speaker 1: you closer that happens? Or are you so wildly obsessed 438 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,119 Speaker 1: with her that you you have to have sex with 439 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 1: her right now? Then you're in life her. At that point, 440 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,119 Speaker 1: you either get married and fix it that way, or 441 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,200 Speaker 1: you realize that I gotta pump the brakes. I have 442 00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 1: a problem right here. Okay, that's two examples of a million. 443 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 1: But you walk this path until you realize there's a 444 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:23,560 Speaker 1: sin there or this is this feels very godly in 445 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:28,720 Speaker 1: what it is. Okay, don't overthink it. Don't overthink it. 446 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:33,119 Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong where you graduate in college falling in 447 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,680 Speaker 1: love with the girl and falling in love with God 448 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 1: all at the same time. It's a beautiful thing. There's 449 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:48,520 Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that. Man. This next to you, guys, 450 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,920 Speaker 1: you guys, in your questions. Here's the next one and 451 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:52,760 Speaker 1: I love it. By the way, here's the next one. 452 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 1: Subject line says, where's the Godly men? Do you guys 453 00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 1: put me to the test? You know that you put 454 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 1: me to the test every Monday. Hey Grangeer, First off, 455 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,000 Speaker 1: thank you for sharing the gospel and shining some light 456 00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,120 Speaker 1: in this dark world that we live in. I could 457 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,000 Speaker 1: truly see God working through you. Please don't never stop sharing. 458 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,560 Speaker 1: My name is Casey. I'm twenty years old. I'm a 459 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,399 Speaker 1: believer who has never been asked out or pursued by 460 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,920 Speaker 1: a man. I trust God's timing, but it's getting very 461 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 1: discouraging nowadays trying to find someone who will chase God 462 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,119 Speaker 1: with me. Any advice on staying positive during the season. 463 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 1: Love the podcast. God bless Casey. Thank you for emailing. 464 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 1: I don't have an easy answer. I wish I had 465 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 1: an easy fix for you. Some of these questions have 466 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:39,880 Speaker 1: been easy. But for you, we'll say a couple things. 467 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 1: I'd say one, you're twenty. That's so young. There's no 468 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,960 Speaker 1: need to rush this. I know it might feel like 469 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,080 Speaker 1: it because you look on Instagram and you see all 470 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 1: these people happy, and they're getting married and they're just oh, 471 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:58,720 Speaker 1: they're just so beautiful, and you don't have it, and 472 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,840 Speaker 1: you've never had it, just wish that one guy would 473 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,680 Speaker 1: ask you out, and you long for it, And so 474 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:10,160 Speaker 1: that just perpetuates that. You watch social media and you 475 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,880 Speaker 1: just scroll through and you go, there's another one, and 476 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,360 Speaker 1: look she's got a beautiful ring on her left hand too. 477 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,120 Speaker 1: Look there's another one from high school. She's gone, Now 478 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,080 Speaker 1: what a cool guy makes a lot of money. But 479 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 1: then there's oll me. I just I don't know what 480 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:30,200 Speaker 1: the future holds for me. I wish somebody would love me. 481 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 1: I wish somebody would be there and ask me out 482 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:39,600 Speaker 1: and by me roses on Valentine's Day. And it becomes 483 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 1: almost an illness to walk that path in your mind. 484 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,240 Speaker 1: In case you go down that road and you just 485 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:54,200 Speaker 1: go further and further down, it's harder to come back. 486 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:04,040 Speaker 1: But where I would go with this is that you 487 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:10,080 Speaker 1: say you're a believer, right, what does that mean? What 488 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:16,000 Speaker 1: does it mean to be a believer? It means the 489 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:22,080 Speaker 1: Bible says you have been ransomed. Do you know what 490 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 1: that means? That means that once you were a prisoner 491 00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:34,840 Speaker 1: at once, once you were you were imprisoned and you 492 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,440 Speaker 1: had no way out. In fact, the Bible says you 493 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:43,520 Speaker 1: were dead in your trespasses, right dead, and you were 494 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:51,960 Speaker 1: ransomed by what by the most precious resource in the universe, 495 00:30:53,200 --> 00:31:04,360 Speaker 1: the blood of the Son of God, for you to 496 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:11,720 Speaker 1: be ransomed from your imprisonment to serve him for his glory. 497 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:17,560 Speaker 1: That's what it means to be a believer. That's what 498 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:22,920 Speaker 1: it means. Have you thought about it in that way? 499 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:28,040 Speaker 1: You've thought about what that means for you, that you 500 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:34,680 Speaker 1: are once dead, now alive, once blind, and now you see, 501 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:36,800 Speaker 1: that's what it says about the prodigal son in those 502 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:42,719 Speaker 1: exact words, you are ransomed by the blood of the 503 00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:48,200 Speaker 1: Son of God for his possession, to have his complete inheritance. 504 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:56,760 Speaker 1: Once poor, once without everything, suddenly ransomed into the kingdom 505 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:02,960 Speaker 1: with full inheritance, full possession of everything the king has 506 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:09,800 Speaker 1: is yours. And in that, could you, knowing that fully 507 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:13,320 Speaker 1: believing that as a believer, could you at that point say, 508 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: I just don't know. I'm so discouraged that I might 509 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 1: never find anybody. Listen, I know there's irony in saying that. 510 00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,520 Speaker 1: I know I understand what you're saying, because I'm human 511 00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:30,480 Speaker 1: to But I'm just saying, what if we truly believed, 512 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:35,040 Speaker 1: if we truly understood what it means to be a believer, 513 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:42,080 Speaker 1: ransomed once dead, once in prison forever, ransomed by a 514 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:48,240 Speaker 1: king who gave us a full inheritance, ransom, by what cost, 515 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,120 Speaker 1: by the blood of the son of God. What if 516 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,840 Speaker 1: we truly wrapped our brains around what that means. I 517 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,680 Speaker 1: think it would just set us free and we would 518 00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:59,880 Speaker 1: stop asking things like when are you gonna give me someone? God? 519 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,080 Speaker 1: And we would say, God, how can I serve you? 520 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,360 Speaker 1: I just want to serve you. I just want to 521 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,720 Speaker 1: love you. I just want to pursue you. If you 522 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:11,240 Speaker 1: provide me with good gifts, thank you, that will take them. 523 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 1: If you provide me with a man, thank you. If 524 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 1: you don't thank you, I will serve you anyway. What 525 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,440 Speaker 1: if we could wrap our brains around that kind of mentality? 526 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,480 Speaker 1: And I know it's hard, but how do you get there? 527 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,600 Speaker 1: How do you get to be able to say something 528 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,760 Speaker 1: like that? You've got to go back to the cross itself, 529 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:35,720 Speaker 1: where the blood dropped. That's where it happened. So you 530 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,560 Speaker 1: take all this burden and all this these questions, you 531 00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,600 Speaker 1: just put them right there at the foot of the cross, 532 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,320 Speaker 1: and you say, here, here it is, this is the place, 533 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,840 Speaker 1: this is the place. The blood failed, the blood of 534 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:50,240 Speaker 1: my savior, the blood of my king who ransom me 535 00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:53,920 Speaker 1: out of the prison, out of death. What if we 536 00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,480 Speaker 1: really wrapped our heads around that. That don't I don't. 537 00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,200 Speaker 1: I could answer this question a million ways, but that 538 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:06,280 Speaker 1: is the only one that is true. I've mentioned so, 539 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,600 Speaker 1: I've mentioned several times that I'm about sixty five percent 540 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,800 Speaker 1: right on this whole podcast. That question is one hundred 541 00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:27,360 Speaker 1: percent truth. Let's go another question here, subjectline being best 542 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:30,759 Speaker 1: friends with a girl at fourteen. Hey, mister Smith, I 543 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:34,720 Speaker 1: love your podcast. I'm fourteen. My name is Stephen, pronounced Stephen. 544 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:39,280 Speaker 1: I'm from Pennsylvania. My question is how to stay friends 545 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:41,680 Speaker 1: with a girl without becoming so close that we almost 546 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,680 Speaker 1: look like we are dating, and how to deal with 547 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:48,040 Speaker 1: assumptions about liking a girl I'm not allowed to date 548 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:51,839 Speaker 1: until eighteen. Thank you? All right, buddy fourteen years old, 549 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,399 Speaker 1: your question is how to stay friends with a girl 550 00:34:54,440 --> 00:35:00,680 Speaker 1: without being so close. That's Steven, You're asking the impossible. 551 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,840 Speaker 1: I've kind of I've walked this path on this podcast, 552 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:10,720 Speaker 1: and people will argue me and they'll get so upset 553 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:14,160 Speaker 1: with me, and they'll give me examples of how I'm wrong. 554 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:18,319 Speaker 1: And maybe I am thirty five percent of time, but 555 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:21,600 Speaker 1: people will give me examples of how this has worked. 556 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:24,439 Speaker 1: And I promise you, guys, I've run through this down 557 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,120 Speaker 1: in my mind. If I'm wrong, you could certainly tell me, 558 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:31,920 Speaker 1: and I will certainly always be open for new teaching. 559 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:41,440 Speaker 1: But guys and girls cannot be close besties. Guys and 560 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:49,960 Speaker 1: girls cannot be best friends without being able to finish 561 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:54,840 Speaker 1: this without one of the two at least starting to 562 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,560 Speaker 1: have more feelings than just friends, starting to feel like 563 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:02,520 Speaker 1: there's something more to this relationship than just friends. If 564 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,080 Speaker 1: you say no, way, then you could be on the 565 00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,359 Speaker 1: other side of the relationship. You could be the other 566 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:11,080 Speaker 1: one that doesn't have feelings. But if there's some kind 567 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:15,080 Speaker 1: of chemistry enough to make two best friends, then one 568 00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,160 Speaker 1: of them is gonna at some point. It might take years, 569 00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:22,840 Speaker 1: it might take minutes. It's gonna say. If that person 570 00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:27,000 Speaker 1: ever asked me if there's more to it than just friends, 571 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,760 Speaker 1: I would say yes in a heartbeat, because I'm connected. 572 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,919 Speaker 1: My heart is connected with this person. But I might 573 00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:37,280 Speaker 1: not ever admit it in the public because it would 574 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:41,280 Speaker 1: be embarrassing, or as many people say, it might ruin 575 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,640 Speaker 1: what we have, and I don't want to ruin this friendship, 576 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,160 Speaker 1: so I'm never gonna say anything. But then it just 577 00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:51,160 Speaker 1: exists like this. It just doesn't work. This has been 578 00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:55,759 Speaker 1: proven over thousands of years. It just doesn't work. You 579 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,840 Speaker 1: can't be best friends with someone in the opposite sex 580 00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,120 Speaker 1: without one of you having a feeling at some point, 581 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:09,520 Speaker 1: without somebody at some point saying what if? What if 582 00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:14,040 Speaker 1: we were more than friends? So to answer your question, 583 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 1: how to stay friends with the girl without becoming so 584 00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:26,280 Speaker 1: close we almost look like we're dating. You can't. You can't. 585 00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,719 Speaker 1: Let's grab one more here, Okay, I'm gonna scroll down. 586 00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:35,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go boom. Here. It is subject line blind 587 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:39,080 Speaker 1: Sighting News Grado. My name's E twenty four years old. 588 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,359 Speaker 1: I emailed before, but situations have changed. I don't know 589 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,480 Speaker 1: what to think from here. My boyfriend of one and 590 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:48,600 Speaker 1: a half years dating one and a half years of 591 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 1: trying to prior broke up with me this past June 592 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,719 Speaker 1: due to feeling like the efforts I put into to 593 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:59,439 Speaker 1: the relationship weren't reciprocated and no initiated effort from him 594 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,400 Speaker 1: to make me feel loved and appreciated. However, he's my 595 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,319 Speaker 1: best friend. Through and through, neither of us experienced a 596 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,480 Speaker 1: connection that we share through many times. He reached out 597 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,359 Speaker 1: to me, apologizing, saying he'd wait for me to give 598 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,359 Speaker 1: us a try. We'd started easing back into things since then. 599 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,440 Speaker 1: I told him I wanted to take it slow, but 600 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:20,040 Speaker 1: being October and we were still aren't dating but basically 601 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: doing all the same things that a couple would do. 602 00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:25,080 Speaker 1: And I brought this up to him before. I'm reading 603 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,040 Speaker 1: like this on purpose because this is what this email 604 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,839 Speaker 1: looks like to me. I brought this up to him, 605 00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,840 Speaker 1: but he says that he doesn't want to rush me. Recently, 606 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,759 Speaker 1: I found out he enlisted into the military without telling me, 607 00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:38,080 Speaker 1: and he didn't plan on telling me anytime soon. He 608 00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,440 Speaker 1: told me in a public setting around a bunch of people. 609 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,760 Speaker 1: I was blindsided, but still encouraged him to follow his dream. 610 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,319 Speaker 1: Am I wrong for being so upset over this? I 611 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:50,200 Speaker 1: feel lied to and betrayed because this decision ultimately affects 612 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,799 Speaker 1: me too. We've talked about starting our lives together here 613 00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:57,319 Speaker 1: within a year and now this Any advice would be welcome. 614 00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:08,800 Speaker 1: Thank you. Oh man E. I'm exhausted by just reading 615 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:17,600 Speaker 1: this email. Let me tell you something. Everything in your 616 00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:23,520 Speaker 1: email is about you. It's just not about a love 617 00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:28,759 Speaker 1: that you have for him that's grounded in anything substantial. 618 00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,799 Speaker 1: Your love that you have for him is grounded in 619 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:38,080 Speaker 1: the desire to be pleased by him, the desire for 620 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,880 Speaker 1: him to fulfill your dreams and what it means to 621 00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:47,000 Speaker 1: be married. Your love is perpetuated by the desire for 622 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:51,400 Speaker 1: him to fulfill a fantasy that you've always had for 623 00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:58,520 Speaker 1: someone that you love. This is Cinderella, and he is 624 00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:01,480 Speaker 1: your prince. And if if he does not meet the 625 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,880 Speaker 1: standards of your prince that you have built in your mind, 626 00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:09,680 Speaker 1: you will revolt and you will cut him off. That 627 00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:15,640 Speaker 1: is not love. I'm exhausted by this email. I appreciate 628 00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:19,279 Speaker 1: you emailing me, and I want to give you the 629 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,960 Speaker 1: best advice I can. And it would be doing a 630 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:26,680 Speaker 1: disservice to you for me to say, oh, absolutely, he 631 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:30,200 Speaker 1: he should have told you about joining the military. How 632 00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,000 Speaker 1: dare he to take you down this road of life 633 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,120 Speaker 1: and not tell you about this bit. That is just 634 00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:38,120 Speaker 1: wrong and you're right to be upset. I would be 635 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:43,839 Speaker 1: a bad friend to tell you that instead, I'm gonna say, 636 00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:47,760 Speaker 1: this is exhausting. It's just about you. You, you, you, 637 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:52,920 Speaker 1: you pleasing you. You know, that's just not what love is. 638 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,279 Speaker 1: I don't know this guy. I don't know if he's 639 00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:00,520 Speaker 1: right for you. I don't know if he's right for 640 00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:04,359 Speaker 1: your future at all. But I do know. If he's 641 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:07,840 Speaker 1: joining the military and you're mad about it, when in 642 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:13,160 Speaker 1: fact you should be happy for him, that's an indication 643 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:17,880 Speaker 1: that this is not going to work. So with that 644 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,480 Speaker 1: kind of data, with those data points that I have, 645 00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:22,479 Speaker 1: the limited number of data points I have, I say, 646 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:26,400 Speaker 1: move on. It's time to break up. It's time to 647 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:32,080 Speaker 1: move on, and it's time to start putting yourself second. 648 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:36,680 Speaker 1: Oh that's so hard to do. Stop putting yourself ahead 649 00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:39,360 Speaker 1: of everybody you're dating and all your friends so that 650 00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:42,960 Speaker 1: they can meet your desires. That is battling the flesh 651 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,279 Speaker 1: every day. I have to do it. I have to 652 00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,960 Speaker 1: do that. I think everyone listening has to do it. 653 00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:52,879 Speaker 1: Because we're humans. We battle ourselves, we battle our own desires. 654 00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:57,080 Speaker 1: We try to put ourselves ahead of everything, and it 655 00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:02,360 Speaker 1: just doesn't work that way. You are a bull and 656 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:05,160 Speaker 1: a china closet right now, you're just breaking everything in 657 00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:09,239 Speaker 1: your overall desire to please yourself and everyone in your 658 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:14,080 Speaker 1: kingdom needs to please you, and it just ends up 659 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:20,000 Speaker 1: hurting everybody. I'm sorry if that message hurts you. I'm 660 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,719 Speaker 1: just trying to be honest the best that I can. 661 00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,200 Speaker 1: Sometimes it ends up being about sixty five percent of 662 00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:29,279 Speaker 1: the time. I love you, guys, I truly do, and 663 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:31,799 Speaker 1: I'll see you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on 664 00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:35,000 Speaker 1: the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. 665 00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,960 Speaker 1: You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. 666 00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:41,319 Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that 667 00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:44,759 Speaker 1: little like button and notification spell so that you never 668 00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:48,239 Speaker 1: miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a 669 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:50,280 Speaker 1: question for me that you would like me to answer, 670 00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:55,720 Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yi