1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,159 Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 2 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 1: and the Black Effects, And just like that, we're back 3 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:20,760 Speaker 1: with yet another carefully reckless just Fix My Mess episode 4 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: with your Girl just hilarious. I'm on Breakfast Club all 5 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 1: this week again. But listen up, y'all. We got some 6 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 1: interesting stories today and all of them were delivered voice memo. 7 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. 8 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,600 Speaker 2: So let's get into the first one. 9 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 3: Hey, Jess, So I'm just trying to make this quick. 10 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,240 Speaker 3: So basically, I just got broken up with three days 11 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 3: ago from with my man. 12 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,560 Speaker 4: We were together for him, well, yesterday would have been ten. 13 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,959 Speaker 3: Months, so I guess we were together for almost ten 14 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:49,919 Speaker 3: months and. 15 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 4: There are ten months in total. Like they weren't bad, 16 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 4: but I feel like the last two months we kind 17 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 4: of just. 18 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 3: Like argued about a lot, like and honestly, like some 19 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 3: of the arguments woul be intense, but I feel like 20 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 3: half the time the arguments were something like over He 21 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 3: started it because he would just like try so hard 22 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 3: to like control my every move, and that's not like 23 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,760 Speaker 3: what I wanted to allow. Like I feel like he 24 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,319 Speaker 3: wanted to like control everything that I did, you know, 25 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 3: like he wanted me. 26 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 4: To do what he said and how he said it. 27 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,400 Speaker 3: So, for example, like if he told me to go 28 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 3: right when I was originally going straight, I would be 29 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 3: questioning it, like why. 30 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 4: Do you want me to go right? You know which 31 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,400 Speaker 4: one was straight? And he just gets so angry like 32 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:38,840 Speaker 4: and be like, oh. 33 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 3: My god, you don't listen, like if I'm telling you 34 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,759 Speaker 3: to do something like just do what kind of vibes? 35 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 4: And that's not the same timing that I like. 36 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 3: To be on, Like, you know, if I'm curious about something, 37 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,360 Speaker 3: I'm curious, you know, like just answer. 38 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 4: The question like why do you want me to go right? 39 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 4: When usually I would go straight? 40 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 3: But yeah, So I feel like a lot of our 41 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 3: arguments was over that and they got bigger and like 42 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 3: blown out of proportion. And at one point, I remember 43 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 3: I hung out with my friend. So I was at 44 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 3: his house or whatever, and he fell asleep. So I 45 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 3: went to go hang out with my friend and I 46 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 3: told him I I'll be back. I'm gonna go get pillows. 47 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 3: I mean, I guess my mistake was not saying which 48 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 3: friend that I was gonna hang out with or whatever, 49 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 3: or saying that I was gonna include a friend in 50 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 3: going to get the pillows, and when he woke up, 51 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 3: he texted me. I told him, okay, like I'm gott 52 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,679 Speaker 3: to drop my friend off and then I'm gonna come back. 53 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,359 Speaker 3: And he was just like, wait a minute, you're not home, 54 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 3: and then he started snapping on me, and then I 55 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,920 Speaker 3: went over to talk to him. He's like, don't don't 56 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,359 Speaker 3: come near my apartment, like I don't want you here, 57 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,079 Speaker 3: Like I'm not opening the door for you, so get 58 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 3: out of here because my neighbors can hear. 59 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 4: You talking like stuff like that. 60 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 3: And I'm just like, bro, there's like you got me 61 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:55,079 Speaker 3: sitting out each side of your apartment crying over you 62 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 3: and you don't even care, and just like get out 63 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 3: of here because. 64 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,800 Speaker 4: My neighbors can hear. And then another time we got 65 00:02:59,919 --> 00:03:01,919 Speaker 4: to argument. I'm sorry, it's just like I want you 66 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 4: to grasp. 67 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 3: But these arguments were like like because every time we 68 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,399 Speaker 3: would argue, I would never call him out of his name, 69 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 3: nothing like that, Like I'm really a sensitive person, and 70 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 3: I feel like he knew. He knew that I was 71 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,800 Speaker 3: super sensitive and he played on that. You know, mind 72 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 3: you I'm twenty and he's twenty seven and he's Dominican, 73 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 3: but like straight from the island, So I know. 74 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 4: Like already I was going into a no way, Like 75 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:26,840 Speaker 4: you know, they have. 76 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 3: Their own like ways and stuff like that, you know, 77 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 3: their own traditions and beliefs. Yeah, I already knew, like 78 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 3: it wasn't going to be like, you know, a walk 79 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 3: in the park because of. 80 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,600 Speaker 4: How different we grew up the culture. 81 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 3: But yeah, one time we got into an argument all 82 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 3: because I asked him what he wanted to eat in 83 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 3: Walmart and he gets mad because he he would tell 84 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 3: me like it's kind of like as a woman, like 85 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 3: it's my job to figure that whole thing out, like 86 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 3: you know, like he shouldn't have to tell me. I 87 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 3: should just know or know what to do, you know. 88 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 3: So we got into this whole argument and walmmar and 89 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 3: then he was talking we when we got back in 90 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 3: the car, he was like, oh, like, the only reason 91 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,320 Speaker 3: I didn't leave you is because your sister's here with me, 92 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 3: But I would have made you walk from Walmart or whatever. 93 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 3: And girl telling me that he doesn't mind breaking up 94 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 3: with me because we don't have no kids together, so 95 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 3: he really has no time, no obligations, stuff like that, 96 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,359 Speaker 3: And I feel like those are the type of things 97 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:22,799 Speaker 3: that I used to always tell myself. 98 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 4: I would never allow, like for somebody to. 99 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 3: Talk to me like that, you know, because I felt like, 100 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 3: you don't really love me if you could talk to 101 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:30,039 Speaker 3: me like that. 102 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 4: But the times where it was good, it was good, 103 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 4: you know. 104 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 3: So it was just like I let like those good 105 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 3: times not define the bad ones, you know, Like I 106 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 3: saw it as MM, well, we have good times, you know. 107 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 3: When we're happy. We're happy. He's so sweet. He says 108 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,600 Speaker 3: the nicest things to me, calls me beautiful. I told 109 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 3: him so much about my life and my family, like 110 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 3: things that I've never told anybody, even be vulnerable around 111 00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:58,279 Speaker 3: him like this. I have been in one of the relationship, 112 00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 3: but I don't really count it because it was like 113 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:03,160 Speaker 3: a seak basically, and got my heart broken in that. 114 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 3: And I was only seventeen at the time. 115 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 4: Now that I'm twenty. 116 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 3: Me and him met when I was nineteen, Like I said, 117 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 3: we were together for it's almost ten months and I 118 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 3: turned twenty with him, and I did a lot of 119 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 3: things with him, like a lot of first as far 120 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 3: as life goes as relationship wise and stuff like that, 121 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 3: like real relationship. And we work at the same job, 122 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,920 Speaker 3: so now that we're broken up, I stuff. 123 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:26,279 Speaker 4: To see him. 124 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 3: I haven't even gotten to why we broke up. I'm sorry, 125 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 3: I know this is kind of long, but up. We 126 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 3: went on a beach shape for three days, for two nights, 127 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 3: three days to Ocean City, New Jersey, and it was me, 128 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 3: him and my parents, and then my nephew and his son. 129 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 3: For reference, my nephew is nine, his son is four. 130 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 3: This is my third time seeing his son. So I 131 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 3: never met a son previously because of the fact that 132 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,719 Speaker 3: he was always like he's never. 133 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 4: Introduced his kid to any of the girl that he's. 134 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,360 Speaker 3: Updated outside of the mother, so like he wanted to 135 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,839 Speaker 3: take his time, make sure that everything felt right with 136 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 3: me and him whatever whatever. So nine months and he 137 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,600 Speaker 3: finally decided to introduce me to his son. The first 138 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 3: time him was at a cookout, and then the second 139 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 3: time it was just like, I was at his apartment 140 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 3: for a few hours. And then this trip would have 141 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,280 Speaker 3: been the third time and my first time spending nights. 142 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 1: With the kid. 143 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 3: Up. 144 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 1: Hold up, I know this shit getting good, but listen 145 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 1: to just a couple seconds of a commercial with you 146 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:22,599 Speaker 1: Love Me. You'll listen. 147 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 4: So the first nine he was pretty good. 148 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 3: I mean, his kid had some has some severe ADHD 149 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 3: that he's truly in denial about. Like, I have a 150 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,479 Speaker 3: lot of nieces and nephews, like over sixteen, and a 151 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,480 Speaker 3: lot of them have ADHD. So I know the signs 152 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,279 Speaker 3: that I know how to tell. And so does my mother. 153 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,839 Speaker 3: You know, she's a mom like and a grandmother at that, 154 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,840 Speaker 3: so she definitely knows. And she was even saying it 155 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,039 Speaker 3: and he was just like no, Like he's only four, 156 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:47,799 Speaker 3: so you know he's. 157 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 4: Just naturally hype or whatever. And it's like, okay, you 158 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,479 Speaker 4: know what, you can be in denial about it. I said, 159 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 4: you's your kid, you know. 160 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 3: Then he at one point even told me like because 161 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 3: every time I felt like his kid was doing something 162 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,280 Speaker 3: that he should have done, I told him, I told 163 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,360 Speaker 3: my boyfriend, as him being his father, you know, it's 164 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,280 Speaker 3: your choice however you choose to go about talking to him, 165 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 3: discipline him all that. So he told me like, oh, 166 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 3: you know, you could say something too. So at one point, 167 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 3: his son had his feet on the pillow, and it's 168 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 3: a big pet peeve of mine, like to have your 169 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 3: feet on the pillow that people are putting their heads on, 170 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 3: especially when you're running around everywhere bay your foot, you know, 171 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 3: around this airbnb, like and outside of the airbnb. So 172 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 3: I told him like, hey, get your feet off the 173 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 3: pillow because that's not what it's for. 174 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 4: And I think my man got offended by that. 175 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 3: Like I said, he's Dominican, so his English wasn't the best, 176 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 3: but he knew a lot. 177 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,680 Speaker 4: But I feel like so he made this thing up 178 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 4: in his head that I said that. 179 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 3: I said I didn't want to sleep with my boyfriend 180 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 3: because his son was with him. So after that, he 181 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 3: was like super offended, but he. 182 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 4: Didn't say anything to me that night. 183 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 3: And then our first night there, I slept with him 184 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 3: and his child, but his son peed the bed. So 185 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 3: the next night I didn't want to sleep there because 186 00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:59,040 Speaker 3: you know, I was like, I don't want to sleep 187 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 3: on blanket side have. 188 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 4: Pists on them, you know. Like granted, now. 189 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 3: Thinking back on it, I should have to my mom 190 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 3: because she just suggests, like, let's go. 191 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 4: To the laundry mat. Let's find a laundrum mat around 192 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 4: here and go wash your blankets. 193 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 3: But I was just thinking, like I'm on vacation, like 194 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 3: I don't really feel like it, and my man didn't 195 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 3: want to either, so yeah, I could have tried more 196 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 3: for a solution, but I was just like no, like 197 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 3: we can sleep in the liv room or something like 198 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 3: I kind of don't want to sleep on that bed 199 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 3: with you know. 200 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 4: It was a huge puddle of pists basically. 201 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 2: I know. 202 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 3: And then for him, he was like a dried like 203 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 3: it doesn't make a difference, you know, Like for me, 204 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 3: he's like a big pet peeve where I'm sleeping. I 205 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 3: wanted to be clean, like I don't know, and he 206 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,719 Speaker 3: just got super offended by that. 207 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,920 Speaker 4: The next morning, on our. 208 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,480 Speaker 3: Third day, when it was time for us to leave 209 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 3: and stuff, I woke up early started cleaning the airbnb 210 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 3: to make sure everything was good for when we left, 211 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 3: and suddenly he was just like, oh, you want breakfast? 212 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 4: And I was like okay, yeah. 213 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 3: Then I went up to him, He's like, oh, he's 214 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 3: not happy. He doesn't want to go to the beach today. 215 00:08:59,200 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 4: So you didn't tell me. 216 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 3: And just the next day everything was coming upout how 217 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 3: he felt. He was mad that I said I need 218 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,960 Speaker 3: to adjust his son. He's like, you've been with me 219 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 3: for nine months and you know I had a son, 220 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:10,439 Speaker 3: so what is there to adjust to? And I'm like 221 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 3: I've been with you for nine months, but those nine 222 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 3: months has just been me and you, sleeping together, doing 223 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,160 Speaker 3: everything together. Adjust me and you I just met your 224 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 3: son this month out of the nine. 225 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,720 Speaker 4: Months, Like, so yeah, I need to adjust. Then he 226 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 4: started like projecting. 227 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 3: His childhood trauma on to me, talking about oh like 228 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 3: his stepmom said the same thing with his dad and 229 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 3: that she never adjusted to him as a kid. And 230 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 3: I'm like, but that's not me. And it was just 231 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 3: like a whole lot of back and forth and he's 232 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 3: just like I made. 233 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:40,439 Speaker 4: Up my mind. 234 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:41,960 Speaker 3: You're not going to change my mind. Like I hate 235 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,439 Speaker 3: you for the way he was treating my son about 236 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 3: the pea. He's like, I'm not going to. 237 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 4: Forget I hate you, he said. 238 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,960 Speaker 3: You know, Jitless said, I'm not going to forgive you 239 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 3: about my. 240 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 4: Son's pee, okay. And it's so crazy to me because 241 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 4: we were just okay. 242 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:59,240 Speaker 3: Saturday, we got into like a little bickering about him 243 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 3: feeding my parents and stuff, but just not feeding me, 244 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 3: and that was it. 245 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 4: But then I didn't think like anything more into that. 246 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 3: I guess he went to sleep that night and was 247 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 3: just in his head because I didn't sleep with him, 248 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 3: because how I see this. If I would have set 249 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 3: in that bed that night, we would still being in 250 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 3: a relationship. But then I'm also seeing it like maybe 251 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 3: this is a sign from God, Like I don't deserve this, 252 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:24,079 Speaker 3: exactly comfortable with this person. This is my first real relationship. 253 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 3: I normally twenty and I have more time, but I 254 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 3: don't know. 255 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 4: It's just like right now, I cannot see myself with 256 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 4: anybody else. 257 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 2: That's not a relationship. 258 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 3: Anybody move on quickly because he really doesn't care, and 259 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 3: I don't know. He says he loved me, but how 260 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 3: can you love me and be like this to me 261 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 3: that he's acting like he treated me, not like I 262 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 3: cheated on him. And this is all because you're angry 263 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 3: and you're offended, and he's like, I love my son 264 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 3: more than I love you, as you should. I'm never 265 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,600 Speaker 3: going to be that person who's like, choose me over 266 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,679 Speaker 3: your son, But damn have some more respect for the 267 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 3: relationship that we did have, like and I never treated 268 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 3: him bad. I would help him pay his bills, help 269 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,959 Speaker 3: him with everything when he got his new apartment, helped 270 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 3: him find an apartment, all. 271 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,040 Speaker 4: Of that good stuff. 272 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 3: I did so much for him when his mom kicked 273 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,559 Speaker 3: him out at the age of twenty. 274 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 4: Seven years old. 275 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 3: I helped him with the place to say, even though 276 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 3: he's always saying like I had other. 277 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,199 Speaker 4: Options, I'd be grateful for what I did for you. 278 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 3: You know, I feel like he was never grateful for 279 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 3: what I did And anytime I cooked ROMI, he would 280 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 3: never say thank you. It was just something that was 281 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 3: I had to do as a woman, you know, it 282 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 3: was my role as a woman. And so yeah, I 283 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 3: don't know a lot of this is just like it's 284 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 3: bittersweet for me because. 285 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,960 Speaker 4: I truly love him. I still love him. 286 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,439 Speaker 3: Even though I know he had his moments where he 287 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 3: treated me like shit. There was that moment where he 288 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 3: treated me like a queen, and so I just feel 289 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 3: like there's nobody out there whos gonna accept me with 290 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,960 Speaker 3: everything like my bond and stuff like that, like all 291 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 3: that because I loved me some like hispanics and stuff. 292 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,320 Speaker 3: So have some more respect for the relationship that we 293 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 3: did have, like and I never. 294 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 4: Treated him bad. 295 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 3: I would help to pay his bills, help him with 296 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,120 Speaker 3: everything when he got his new apartment, helped him find 297 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 3: an apartment, all of that good stuff. I guess my 298 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 3: max that I want to be faked, is like, how do. 299 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 4: I move on now? Like I don't know, Like it's. 300 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 3: So hurtful, But at the same time, it's just like 301 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 3: I feel like maybe this was needed, Like maybe we 302 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 3: were incompatible. I really wanted us to be compatible. We 303 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 3: felt compatible. I don't even know where we went wrong. 304 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 3: I don't know why he started like mentally abusing me 305 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 3: and gaslighting me and manipulating me. 306 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 4: Like I just don't understand. It's so confusing to me. 307 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,080 Speaker 3: Like we were just just on sat On Friday, you 308 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,600 Speaker 3: were talking about, oh, do you want to marry me? 309 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 3: Like as a joke, and then on Saturday morning You're like, 310 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,200 Speaker 3: I want to break up? And now Monday, I talked 311 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 3: to him on the phone. He's like, stop calling me. 312 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,240 Speaker 3: I don't want to hear good morning from you. I 313 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,920 Speaker 3: don't hear nothing from you. I don't want to be 314 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,520 Speaker 3: your friend because if I get a new girl, and 315 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 3: I don't want you to think you have a say 316 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 3: or anything like that. And I'm just like, bro, do 317 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 3: you have something you're talking to you? He say no, 318 00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 3: But I'm just saying because he thinks I'm going to 319 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 3: be like one of his other. 320 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 4: Crazy exxes and that's not me. 321 00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:00,559 Speaker 3: My whole thing yesterday is just don't treat me like you. 322 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:02,200 Speaker 4: Just fucked three times and that's it. 323 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:04,400 Speaker 3: Like put some respect on what we had and what 324 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 3: I did for you. 325 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 4: I don't know, I don't know, but yeah, what do 326 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:10,960 Speaker 4: you think do you think? Like? I don't think there's 327 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 4: no going back for and honesty my family. 328 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 3: She's talking about, oh, like he's gonna try to come back, 329 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 3: and I don't see it. He's like a very stubborn, 330 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 3: set in his way man, like he thinks this is 331 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 3: like old school type of days and it's not. This 332 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,680 Speaker 3: is twenty twenty three. I don't believe in those gender rules. 333 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 3: Whatever I can do, you can do too. And he 334 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,680 Speaker 3: would cook and stuff, but still I feel like he 335 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 3: was just always trying to be little me. 336 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 4: I'm sorry I'm dragging this on, but I love. 337 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,560 Speaker 3: You, thank you so much, And I'm going to listen 338 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 3: to your podcast today where I'm at work to. 339 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 4: Get me through. 340 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,480 Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and 341 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,480 Speaker 1: then we'll be right back. 342 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,839 Speaker 2: Well, thank you, beautiful girl. 343 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 1: I'm glad I can tell by your last name that 344 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,960 Speaker 1: you a little Latin. I tho you know what I'm saying, 345 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,200 Speaker 1: so you like your island men, your Caribbean men. When 346 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,679 Speaker 1: you first started telling me your story, until you started 347 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:58,679 Speaker 1: answering your questions about him, I was like, Okay. 348 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,680 Speaker 2: Is he older than you? Is he the child? Is 349 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 2: he African? Jesus Christ? 350 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 1: Just the way you said that, he's controlling and you're 351 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,960 Speaker 1: a sensitive person, you know what I'm saying. And then 352 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,600 Speaker 1: he broke up with you, you know, and then just how 353 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 1: he's all over the place. I'm gonna tell you something 354 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:15,079 Speaker 1: right now, it's bigger than you. I'm just gonna shop 355 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: your neck with that, like it is bigger than you. 356 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:20,000 Speaker 1: This ain't even about you. You said something that stuck out. 357 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: You said, he projects. He started projecting his childhood trauma 358 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 1: and his differences and his own deeply rooted issues on me, 359 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 1: comparing them to what we're going through now. People do 360 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 1: that when they're so deeply swallowed by their trauma and 361 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 1: it still affects them, but they don't know how to 362 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,680 Speaker 1: express that they're even still feeling trauma or even still 363 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: haunted by trauma. You know, he may not even know subconsciously. 364 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:47,680 Speaker 1: That's just probably how he's been since. 365 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 2: He was little. You know. 366 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 1: So people grow up thinking that they're fucking normal and 367 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,520 Speaker 1: they're really fucked up mentally. 368 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:52,880 Speaker 2: You know what I mean. 369 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,640 Speaker 1: And it's very very hard to get a man to 370 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:59,840 Speaker 1: see that he's fucked up, especially if he's been fucked 371 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 1: up for some time. You know, you said he projected 372 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 1: shit talking about his stepdad and his mom, or his 373 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,400 Speaker 1: mom and stepdad what, you know, whatever the parents' rules 374 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 1: were you, that's what you said. 375 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 2: You understand what I'm saying. 376 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 1: And I just, in my opinion, I feel like this 377 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 1: is deeper than you, This is bigger than you. 378 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 2: This has nothing to do with you. Just like when 379 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 2: his son pissed. 380 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 1: Into bed and he made a big ass dal out 381 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: of it, you know, telling you, you know, because you 382 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: don't want to sleep in a pissy ass bed that 383 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 1: could not only fuck your skin up, it could give 384 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:33,320 Speaker 1: you bedbugs and all types of rashes and shit. You 385 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. That wasn't about no piss. It 386 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,520 Speaker 1: was bigger than a piss. It wasn't about that. He 387 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: was also projecting as well. 388 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. 389 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 1: Everything that he does is a projection of how he's 390 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 1: been treated or how he has lived up until this point. 391 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 2: You know, or how he was raised. 392 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:51,520 Speaker 1: I don't know if you know his baby mother, but 393 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,760 Speaker 1: I ain't gonna say look to her for insight, but 394 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 1: I would ask him about his relationship. I mean, if 395 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 1: y'all were together for a year, well you said ten months, 396 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: y'all just you know, he just broke up with you. 397 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,600 Speaker 1: But have you ever asked him about why he didn't 398 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 1: make it with his son's mother or what happened in 399 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,440 Speaker 1: that relationship. Sometimes when you get in a new relationship, 400 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 1: sometimes people carry baggage over from their last relationship into 401 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 1: their new relationship, which warrants a conversation about the previous 402 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 1: relationships between the people that are in the new relationships 403 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 1: or whatever. And I don't know if you have ever 404 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 1: had that, if you two ever had that conversation, but 405 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 1: it just sounds like he's been this way for a 406 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: long time. And then also culturally you two are different, 407 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 1: and I'm just going off of what you said, and 408 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 1: also having dealing with a Caribbean guy myself before. They 409 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,960 Speaker 1: are controlling, you know, I'm he wasn't mean. This guy 410 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:43,120 Speaker 1: wasn't mean. He was just very controlling. And their culture 411 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: is very different. You know, women are subjected to do 412 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 1: this that and the other and nothing else. In certain cultures, 413 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 1: you know, and in men, they have to be the 414 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 1: head of household and they have to do this and 415 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,960 Speaker 1: not do this because this is for women. And they, 416 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: you know, they believe in gender rules, so that culturally, 417 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,359 Speaker 1: that's where he comes from. 418 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,679 Speaker 2: So he was never going to change that. 419 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,120 Speaker 1: Even with the other example that you gave me, when 420 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: you hung out with your friend to go get pillows 421 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 1: and you know, and you called him and he was 422 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 1: shocked to find out that you weren't home. 423 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 2: He just wants to always be in control of your 424 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:18,520 Speaker 2: every move. 425 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:21,280 Speaker 1: And stuff like that. You know, you met him young. 426 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 1: You met him when you were seventeen. 427 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 4: It's not like you. 428 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 1: Said, and y'all started dating officially at twenty or something. 429 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 4: I'm a girl. 430 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 1: I might be getting you mixed up with something I 431 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:33,000 Speaker 1: read here at breakfast club today because this is where 432 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,120 Speaker 1: I'm doing this episode from. But I don't have time 433 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:37,800 Speaker 1: to go back and listen to your whole story. That 434 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,239 Speaker 1: was a long ass story. But I know that you 435 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 1: are younger than him, but he seems like he's like 436 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:46,160 Speaker 1: way older Jesus Christ. And then now you said leading 437 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 1: to the breakup, the reason for the breakup was the 438 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:49,440 Speaker 1: family trip. 439 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 4: You know, his kid got the. 440 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 1: ADHD and he even gave you a permission to verbally 441 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 1: discipline him. But when you actually said something about the 442 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,840 Speaker 1: little boy's feet being on a pillow where people laid 443 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: their heads, ultimately he kind of got upset. And I 444 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:04,439 Speaker 1: think you said, well, I ain't gonna think I know 445 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,120 Speaker 1: if I am mistaken. You said that this nigga told 446 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,560 Speaker 1: you that he hates you for the way you treat 447 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 1: his son. That's a fucking red flag. If everything else 448 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: before wasn't a red flag, I don't care how vulnerable 449 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 1: a man makes you feel, how good he makes you feel. 450 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, you said, when it's good, it's good, but when 451 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:22,480 Speaker 2: it's bad, it's bad. 452 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 1: Which one is worse to you? Which one is greater? 453 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,199 Speaker 1: Him treating you like shit or him treating you like 454 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,959 Speaker 1: a queen? Let's be honest, because because no man that 455 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,280 Speaker 1: treats you like a queen can equally treat you like 456 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,719 Speaker 1: shit too. You understand what I'm saying. That sounds like 457 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:42,320 Speaker 1: a nigga with schizophrenia. That sounds like a nigga diagnosed 458 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:45,720 Speaker 1: with bopolar disorder. That's what that sounds like. That sounds 459 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,800 Speaker 1: like a mental illness. That's what the fuck that sounds like. 460 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 1: How can you flip flop on me like this? How 461 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,440 Speaker 1: can you uplift me and then degrade me the next day? 462 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,119 Speaker 1: How on Saturday we're talking about marriage and on Sunday 463 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 1: you don't want me to fucking call you if he 464 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: has somebody or not. This is still not good. It's 465 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 1: still not good. I want you to pay attention. You 466 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:11,400 Speaker 1: understand what I'm saying. It's bigger than you, and it's manipulation, 467 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 1: and it's narcissistic and it's projection, and it's not good 468 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,119 Speaker 1: for you. You're already a sensitive person and you're already 469 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: talking about you not thinking he care. And listen, I'm 470 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,359 Speaker 1: gonna tell you something. He helps you dodge bullet. You 471 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,679 Speaker 1: dodged a good ass bullet. You dodged a bullet. He 472 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,199 Speaker 1: has no obligations to you. He sat and told you 473 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,600 Speaker 1: the only reason why he didn't leave your answer is 474 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,119 Speaker 1: because he didn't want to embarrass you in front of 475 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,040 Speaker 1: your fucking family. 476 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:36,440 Speaker 4: Are you crazy? 477 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 2: No, this is a serious question, beautiful woman. Are you crazy? 478 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:46,040 Speaker 1: You cannot let him be the dictator of your value. 479 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:47,439 Speaker 4: That's what it is. 480 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,520 Speaker 1: He's never nobody's ever made me feel this way. You're 481 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,479 Speaker 1: damn right, Nobody ever made you feel like shit like this? 482 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 4: Did they? 483 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,120 Speaker 1: I ain't talking about the queen. Put you can make 484 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:59,399 Speaker 1: yourself feel like a queen. You can make yourself feel 485 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 1: like shit. Would you ever cause your self harm like that? 486 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:03,639 Speaker 4: No? 487 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,400 Speaker 1: Right, don't ever let a motherfucker do that. I don't 488 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,840 Speaker 1: give a fuck what culture, what island he's from. I 489 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,399 Speaker 1: don't give a fuck what race he is, what color 490 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 1: skin he got, how much money he got, how much 491 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,480 Speaker 1: trauma he had, And you want to be sensitive to 492 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 1: him because you want to walk on eggshells and don't 493 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,360 Speaker 1: want to piss them off. 494 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,399 Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck about none of that. 495 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:26,400 Speaker 1: You're a woman. You deserve better, and he deserves some help, 496 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,160 Speaker 1: but he's not gonna get it. You ain't responsible for 497 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 1: getting him help. Trust me, baby, nine months versus nine 498 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 1: years as a whole hell of a lot better than 499 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 1: for you being stuck and not being able to get out. 500 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 1: Because a man will take everything from you if you 501 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,159 Speaker 1: let him. He'll take your dignity, he'll take your pride, 502 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 1: he'll take everything from you. He don't respect you. I 503 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,800 Speaker 1: don't care what you say, he don't. And if he's 504 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,760 Speaker 1: moved on, let us fucking ass move on. 505 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 2: That's it. 506 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 1: It's so many men out there that's waiting for a 507 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 1: queen that's waiting. Listen, I'm serious, check back in with 508 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,120 Speaker 1: me because I don't like this. 509 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,119 Speaker 2: I do not like this. 510 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:06,360 Speaker 4: Girl. 511 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 1: You don't piss me off, So check back, check back in, 512 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 1: and I love you. 513 00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:10,680 Speaker 4: I love you. 514 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,919 Speaker 1: I hope you listen to this and you really get something, 515 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: take something great from this, because if you have to 516 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 1: ask yourself, is this really what love is? Did you 517 00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:22,520 Speaker 1: ever love me? Then it was never that understand And 518 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,679 Speaker 1: he's in his own way. This has nothing to do 519 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,200 Speaker 1: with you, baby girl. He took nine months to introduce 520 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,200 Speaker 1: you to you to a child. I know some people 521 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,959 Speaker 1: that takes more, takes longer. You just you know, it 522 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,119 Speaker 1: just sounds like he's so fucking screwed up. He needs 523 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:39,919 Speaker 1: help and he does not need a relationship. He doesn't 524 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,440 Speaker 1: because even the next girl ain't ain't gonna get treated 525 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,560 Speaker 1: no better than you. You know what I'm saying, So 526 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,080 Speaker 1: wake up, seriously, wipe the cruss upb out your eyes, 527 00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:52,720 Speaker 1: look in the mirror, and gain your confidence back. And 528 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,920 Speaker 1: the soul search, find who you are. Find who you are, 529 00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:59,679 Speaker 1: because I'm I'm a little afraid for you that you 530 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,400 Speaker 1: stay this a little too long now nine months saying shit, 531 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 1: but I can only imagine how it feels when you're 532 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:10,680 Speaker 1: being shitted on and constantly ridiculed and degraded every other 533 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:11,320 Speaker 1: fucking day. 534 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,360 Speaker 2: It probably felt like nine years. 535 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 1: But what I'm scared is that this kind of scarred you, 536 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:21,640 Speaker 1: This fucked you up because you're still upset that he's 537 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: not even telling you to come back. I know you 538 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,159 Speaker 1: better be done with this shit, and you better update me. 539 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:29,680 Speaker 1: You might need therapy after this. Nigga, your damn self. 540 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,399 Speaker 1: You see, I hurt people, hurt people, and then you 541 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:36,439 Speaker 1: will continue to cycle to hurt another person if you 542 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,359 Speaker 1: don't get help after this shit. Okay, I love you, 543 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 1: check back in Damn. That story took up the whole 544 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 1: damn episode. But it's all right. It's all right. We 545 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,119 Speaker 1: come to the end of getting another just fixed my mess. 546 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 1: Being carefully reckless with your girl justs hilarious. I'll see 547 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,520 Speaker 1: you next week and then my deepest Paan voice peace. 548 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 4: Taking name. 549 00:23:39,240 --> 00:24:07,480 Speaker 1: An Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and 550 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:11,040 Speaker 1: the black effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the 551 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,879 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 552 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 1: favorite shows.