1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,240 Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Chelsea Handler. Welcome to Life Will Be the 2 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:07,480 Speaker 1: Death of Me A production of I Heart Radio. Good Afternoon, everybody. 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:12,400 Speaker 1: This is um Chelsea Handlers at the Afternoon Britain. Technically speaking, 4 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 1: I think, okay, okay. This week's episode is of my 5 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: bestie Mary McCormick and me and Phoenix. She interviewed me 6 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: at the show in Phoenix and somebody got emotional. Well, 7 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: people need to listen in to find out who that was. Hi. 8 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 1: Oh wait, let me get rid of the stool. We 9 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 1: flew out here together this morning on a commercial flight. 10 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 1: I love. She brags about a commercial flame. Yeah. I'm 11 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,839 Speaker 1: trying to talne down my behavior this year, so I'm 12 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 1: flying commercially. I'm getting into it. Let me just put 13 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 1: this here just in case. Let's talk about Robert Mueller, 14 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: because I want to talk about our crustion of my 15 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 1: sexual feelings for him, and then I want to talk 16 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 1: about your men well, because I think there's a theme. 17 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: There is a theme, so I think Robert Mueller plays 18 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: into that theme. Right. It's not hard to figure out 19 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:01,120 Speaker 1: that when your dad leaves you a temple end and 20 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: let you swim alone, and your brother says I'm coming back. 21 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: I would never leave you like you're and then you 22 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 1: start sucking anyone with the title guide. You're if you're 23 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: a guy, you're in luck. This bitch loves a guide. 24 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 1: You wait, obviously you have daddy ship right like it's 25 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: it's not, it's not. You don't have to be freud 26 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,679 Speaker 1: to figure this out. You want to be told what 27 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,479 Speaker 1: to do. You want to be told where to go. 28 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,039 Speaker 1: You want to be told, like I know, the guy 29 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 1: for her is a guy who goes like this, hey, 30 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 1: karmanute shut up, like that's what she needs. She's like 31 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,160 Speaker 1: my dream for you as somebody who goes, hey, shut 32 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 1: the funk up. Yeah, like private, like full her aside, 33 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 1: like hey, sweetie, came ram secd shut the funk up, 34 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: knock it off like too much. We went around Safari 35 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: with our friend Shirley's there on for her charity h 36 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: C T a OP. And we went with our guide, Christian, 37 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: who was like Zulu and he had six or seven wives, 38 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 1: and I felt a strong connection to him for real, 39 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: like I'm not killing like we almost lost her to 40 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 1: South Africa and he was the one that was like 41 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 1: tracking the animals. So I was of course turned on 42 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: by that any expert, like any expert or masculine, like 43 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 1: if you have a knife on your belt, she's a goner. 44 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,920 Speaker 1: It's weird. You're like a little girl that way. Yeah, 45 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: he was. We had a connection though, I mean he 46 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:31,000 Speaker 1: understood me. He knew that I had a sense of adventure. 47 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,640 Speaker 1: And yeah, until you told me about his six or 48 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 1: seven wives, that was good that you told me about that. 49 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: You are looking for some guy, you like a man 50 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 1: to tell you what I mean. We both have a 51 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: real attraction to doctors, but more specifically an a the theologist, 52 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: because the like, first of all, the scrubs are always hot, 53 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: but also then the last thing that they're like, you're 54 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: just gonna relax a little bit. I'm just kidding, and 55 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,679 Speaker 1: they put their hand on your hand, you know, there's 56 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 1: like a little touching and they're super in charge and 57 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: kind of quiet, like a one on one. They're like, 58 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna count backwards from ten. You're like ten nah, 59 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 1: and then you're on the Michael Jackson drug and you 60 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,960 Speaker 1: forget everything else. But you are in love. I'm in 61 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 1: love and you are the same problem. I like, we 62 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 1: both have daddy ship. I have daddy sure do like 63 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,359 Speaker 1: I like older men are like men who are not available, 64 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:25,360 Speaker 1: like mentally in charge, like a year old who's almost 65 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,800 Speaker 1: brain dead. Is what I want for new development though 66 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: that's a new development, And I think that that development 67 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,959 Speaker 1: has to do with the word guide, meaning I think 68 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 1: a twenty four year old skateboarder would not standish. I 69 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 1: think if they're First of all, let's get this if 70 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 1: anyone knows the right guy, because here's what I want 71 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: to say. I have a email address I set up 72 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 1: for it. It's handles Handler at gmail dot com. I'm 73 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: gonna screen it, but here's here's what I'm looking for. 74 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 1: First of all, that has to be an excellent skier. 75 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna start with that. I know it sounds shallow, 76 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: but like she it's a full I don't think skiing 77 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 1: is shallow. Why is skiing shallow? What's a shallow thing 78 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: to put on a list of like must have? Well 79 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: that he likes to who cares? It's shallow? It's mandatory 80 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 1: because she's sucking into it and it turns her on 81 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: and like that can heal it? Like they could have 82 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 1: a fight and then you'd be back on board if 83 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 1: you watch them. Yeah, yeah, anyone who can ski, well, 84 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: I will love her really well because she's pretty good, 85 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: so it has to be better than her. I think 86 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,360 Speaker 1: someone was something going on, right, Like you don't want 87 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 1: to be like like someone with who's passionate about what 88 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 1: they do, someone who's financially independent, somebody I'm not supporting. 89 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: I can't do that. That's not interesting or that's you've 90 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: tried it. Yeah, I've tried that, and it's expensive and 91 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:41,919 Speaker 1: it's boring. Yeah, so there's that. When I met you, 92 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:45,039 Speaker 1: you were dating Ted. Ted was your boss. Was my 93 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 1: first boyfriend who was like twenty years older than me, 94 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 1: who was my boss and your boss. So it follows 95 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 1: the pattern, right, Like She's like, I understand why it happened. 96 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 1: I mean I understand because I know you and your makeup, 97 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 1: what you're attracted to. I understand how that happened, like 98 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,719 Speaker 1: grandma or thing like, well I was. We we both 99 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,960 Speaker 1: shared this about Bob Muller and that's I mean, yes, 100 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: we both have daddy issues. I'm not sure why you 101 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 1: have daddy issues because your dad's great. He's great. Maybe 102 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: that's why. I just I'm into like people in charge. 103 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:16,160 Speaker 1: It's attractive, like I like, uh, looking up to my partner. 104 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 1: I like looking up to a man. I mean I 105 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 1: did feel safe with my dad, but I feel safe 106 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,560 Speaker 1: with Bob Muller. I feel like I would feel safe 107 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 1: with Bob Moller. I'm just excited that there was a 108 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:30,600 Speaker 1: Republican that I could allow to penetrate me. But then 109 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 1: you went from Ted. I don't know if people know 110 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,600 Speaker 1: about this guy. This was a short lived No, there 111 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:42,160 Speaker 1: was a guy before. There was a guy before Curtis. 112 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: But there was a guy before Curtis. It was that 113 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: animal trainer guy. Remember how Yeah, Dave Semmony, this Canadian 114 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: animal trainer who came to visit me, and remember he 115 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,839 Speaker 1: gave chunk. It was like you overcorrecting because Ted was 116 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:59,040 Speaker 1: like like dancing to Michael Jackson, goofy, sweet, like short, 117 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: like just just a man, sort of a sweete and 118 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: then you were like need masculine. He went got like this. 119 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,480 Speaker 1: I remember when I met him, he was jumping off 120 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,320 Speaker 1: the roof of your rental house into a pool like 121 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: a fucking idiot. Remember that. I was like, that's not 122 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 1: a good decision. You're dumb, But you were just like 123 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 1: I just like I just like, you're not afraid me 124 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: up and throw me over. He was big and strong, 125 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 1: and I thought he could handle a lion. Right, he can, 126 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:28,839 Speaker 1: but you're not afraid to overcorrect. She's the dating is 127 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:31,719 Speaker 1: like a series of overcorrections from a big pussy to 128 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 1: another big pussy. Then you went to Curtiss, other big pussy. 129 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:39,039 Speaker 1: He's a big pussy too. He's not. He's not. I 130 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: didn't say it, she said it. No, I mean like 131 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 1: he's a big teddy bear. He's not like what he seems. 132 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,839 Speaker 1: I mean he did get shot, so I don't know 133 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:50,400 Speaker 1: when I'm like, I'm not calling pussy. Just for the record, 134 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,000 Speaker 1: let the rect We would hang out with him and 135 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,320 Speaker 1: he wouldn't smoke any pot or drink attying alcohol. My 136 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,920 Speaker 1: friends were so bummed, They're like, what this is fifty 137 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,720 Speaker 1: cent and he's not gonna get a high with us. Know. 138 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,600 Speaker 1: He was the adult in the room for sure. Yeah, 139 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: and you go to bed at eight o'clock, So that's silly. 140 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: Let's let's get some shut I I'm like a rapper, 141 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: are you? It was weird, but he was nice. I 142 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: really liked him. Yeah, it was a nice That was 143 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 1: a good moment. It was a good two months. It 144 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 1: couldn't go more than that. It was. It was two 145 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: months I was gonna go with him to Anguilla for 146 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 1: my family Christmas trip and he and I got in 147 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 1: some fight. I can't recall what it was about. And 148 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: then I said, don't calm to Christmas. And I was like, 149 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: thank god he didn't come to Christmas. That would have 150 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: been so weird, you know, strolling down Anguilla beaches with 151 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: fifty cents like I don't need to be and that. 152 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: It was really strange. Curtis am I calling you Curtis um. 153 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: That was really weird. And then you moved on to Andre, 154 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 1: which was a long That was a longer thing. And 155 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: actually one day I remember you called me I think 156 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 1: you'd broken up and gotten back together. It was one 157 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: of those like back and forth and you were like, 158 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 1: I think I should just marry him, and I was like, 159 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 1: I remember as being like, listen to me, you do 160 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 1: not marry anyone like you just you don't have to 161 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 1: marry him. I was on ecstasy when we did that. 162 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: By the way, serious, this is a good time to 163 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: get proposed to and say yes. I remember him proposing 164 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 1: to me, like on the lawn of this like we're 165 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: upstate New York, and I just looked at him and thought, 166 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: we're way too funked up for you to be from 167 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,480 Speaker 1: fund to say today, even in that moment, I'm like no, 168 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: and I go yes, I'll marry you, and I'm Monday, 169 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, I gotta get the funk out of here. 170 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: I remember when you met him though. I was there 171 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,320 Speaker 1: and it was a dinner, and I remembered the moment 172 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,680 Speaker 1: that you, like, I literally saw hearts in your eyes 173 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: because he lit your cigarette. And I don't think like 174 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: he was like in an expensive suit. He was really dapper. 175 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 1: He had an accent. We were like one accent, like 176 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 1: we're both Jersey girls, like Central Jersey to like the 177 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: gross part European accent. I mean, while he was from Boston, 178 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 1: but we didn't know that. We didn't know that. We 179 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:03,199 Speaker 1: thought he was like and then he he leaned over. 180 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 1: You had a cigarette your mouth and you're about to 181 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,600 Speaker 1: light it, and he was like, let me, and he 182 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: let your cigarette, and you were like, I know, it's 183 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:12,959 Speaker 1: so embarrassing. I know it's embarrassing, but I had to 184 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 1: say it because it's true. It's like that that felt 185 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 1: like a guy who knew things, like a guy who 186 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: would teach you things. And then even in the beginning 187 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 1: of the relationship, like we went to our basil we did, 188 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 1: it was always about like art shows and museums and 189 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:30,200 Speaker 1: find restaurants and we're traveling here and like you really 190 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: wanted to learn. And then then and then it was 191 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,440 Speaker 1: like oz the right, like then the curtain came up 192 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 1: and you're like, like, one day I said to Andrea, 193 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 1: I was like, you're English, is incredible, Like when when 194 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 1: did you move here? And he's like, she goes, He's 195 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:50,240 Speaker 1: from Boston. It's fake. And that was when it was. 196 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,640 Speaker 1: It was like that Transatlantic accent where you're like, hello, 197 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 1: it was just very it. His parents were his parents, 198 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 1: his parents. We're Hungarian, but he grew up in Boston, 199 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 1: so there's no excuse for that. No, just it looks good, 200 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,320 Speaker 1: it sounds better with the suit. Yeah. But then you've 201 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,319 Speaker 1: sort of wised up and you're like, wait a minute, 202 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,439 Speaker 1: this is awful ship. I can go to museums on 203 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: my own and light my own cigarette. And then you 204 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 1: moved one. Oh, this one was funny. This is a 205 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:21,959 Speaker 1: good one. One time she called I got this call. 206 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 1: I guess it was from Karen. It may have been 207 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,559 Speaker 1: from Karen, who is her tour manager but used to 208 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:30,080 Speaker 1: be her assistant, who's incredible, And she said Mary and 209 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 1: my husband Michael, and she was like, Chelsea needs you, guys, 210 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: She's in Where were you? I don't know, billis? I mean, 211 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: who even knows, I've never been anywhere, believes and she 212 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 1: she really needs you, She's she's there. How did you meet? First? 213 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:51,200 Speaker 1: We met Flora and the Bahamas. He was working at 214 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 1: a resort and you started sleeping with him, and then 215 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: we thought mistakenly that it could continue, and I fund 216 00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,559 Speaker 1: with him. They had these cottages for the people that 217 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,600 Speaker 1: worked at a resort, and we went back to his 218 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: little cottage and I was walking out of his cottage 219 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,880 Speaker 1: in the morning to our main house and my nephew, 220 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: who was like ten, was walking out and I just 221 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:12,320 Speaker 1: ran right into him and I'm like, hey, Mats, carrying 222 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 1: your shoes walk a shame. Which was why it was 223 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: work work. It was good because there was a language barrier, 224 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:24,679 Speaker 1: which is always how my relationships, you know, strengthens when 225 00:11:24,679 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 1: there's no He was so pretty that sometimes he would 226 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 1: face time us and we were just like we would 227 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 1: forget to talk because we're like, you're like looking at 228 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 1: the sun. He was so beautiful, but really not a 229 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 1: you know, that was not a love match, but cad floor. 230 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: And then she called so she went decided to go 231 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: on vacation with Flora and Belize and then called us 232 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: and was like, it's a disaster. I need help, I 233 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 1: need back up. I can't be here alone with him, 234 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 1: remember yeah, Because he couldn't talk unless he was drunk. 235 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,640 Speaker 1: And it was like, after a while, the alcohol was 236 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,840 Speaker 1: too much. So I was like, can you come and 237 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,840 Speaker 1: give me some backup? And then they came down for 238 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 1: four days and then I yeah, I think I saw 239 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,439 Speaker 1: him one our time, but it was one And then 240 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: paid him a severance package. I paid him as well, 241 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: more than he said he was in the hospital. So 242 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 1: I just said a whole like lung thing. Younger guys 243 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 1: crossed you a fortune, don't do it. It's a ski 244 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 1: guy has stole from you too, remember that. Oh no, 245 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,200 Speaker 1: before you pay the severance package. One day she gets 246 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: a call from a jewelry store. I'm allowed to say this. Yeah. 247 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 1: One day she gets a call from a jewelry store 248 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,200 Speaker 1: in Whistler and they're like, um, there's a young man 249 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,679 Speaker 1: here charging a lot of jewelry to your credit card, 250 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 1: and it was that fucking kid that you're trying to 251 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 1: charge it. And then when she was an addition to 252 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 1: be giving him a twenty dollars, he had stolen my 253 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:47,120 Speaker 1: credit card. That's why everyone, if you if you know 254 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 1: a decent guy who's smart and funny, great area, and 255 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 1: a great skier, go to handles Handler at gmail dot com. Okay, 256 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 1: we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back. 257 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,079 Speaker 1: I want to give an example of how far I've 258 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 1: come since my therapy, because these are really bad examples 259 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 1: of just stupid behavior. I would like to say that 260 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 1: I took a plane to Clearwater, Uh, Florida. I got 261 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 1: on a plane and there was a man on the 262 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,200 Speaker 1: plane next to me. It's a long flight from l A. 263 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: It's like five and a half hours, and he looked like, 264 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 1: you know, a bad version of Harvey Kitel, like if 265 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,120 Speaker 1: Harvey Kitel was in deliverance. You know, like long hair, 266 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 1: denim sweat pants that looked like jeans until they got 267 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,079 Speaker 1: up and you could tell they were sweatpants. Just all 268 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: fucking kinds of wrong. So I'm sitting there and I'm like, 269 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,360 Speaker 1: just be cool, you're a different person now. You can meditate, 270 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,680 Speaker 1: do your breathing exercises. Don't let somebody like he's a person, 271 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: he's got a soul, try and think of it that way. 272 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,319 Speaker 1: And then he started farting. He started eight times, eight 273 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,160 Speaker 1: times on a five and a half hour flight, and 274 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 1: each time was like a fucking hurricane every time. I 275 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 1: couldn't believe it at first because already it was assault 276 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 1: on my eyes, and then it became an assault on 277 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,080 Speaker 1: my face, you know, and I started, I was like, 278 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 1: just breathe. This is never time, this is a trigger, 279 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 1: this is okay, this is enough comtunity to meditate and 280 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: to breathe, and to breathe deeply, breathe in. And then 281 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 1: with that, I'm like, no, I can't because I'm breathing 282 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,480 Speaker 1: in his fucking wet asshole. But I can breathe meet 283 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 1: coming in. I can't breathe in. I can't do my 284 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 1: breathing exercises. I have to sit here and close my 285 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: eyes and hope that this is just over soon. And 286 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:20,360 Speaker 1: I just thought, what is the most compassionate way to 287 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: tell somebody or ask somebody, can you please stop? Please 288 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 1: stop parting? And then he got up to go to 289 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 1: the bathroom, and I looked over and those denims did 290 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,840 Speaker 1: the one I thought were jeans, which were not jeans 291 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,560 Speaker 1: that thin material that we're sweatpants, were stuck inside his 292 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:41,520 Speaker 1: wet asshole stuck inside and I gasped, I want and 293 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,040 Speaker 1: the flight atent it came over, and I was like, 294 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,240 Speaker 1: I'm just breathed, because are you okay? Yes, I'm fine, 295 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,120 Speaker 1: I'm fine, No problems here. So I want to say 296 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 1: I've come along fucking way okay, because five years ago 297 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: I would have been like, how you fucking paste of 298 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 1: ship tape your asshole? Like I wouldn't have been able 299 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: to deal with it, So how your p trying me 300 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 1: is accurate. But I want to say that there has 301 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 1: been growth because of my patients, because I've learned to, 302 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 1: you know, deal with those situations in a normal way. 303 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 1: The growth is incredible for me. It's full windfall. I mean, 304 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 1: like I used to, we'd leave parties, and I always 305 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 1: knew because I know you, all of you. I knew 306 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 1: how wonderful and generous and kind and loyal and and 307 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 1: and reliable and funny, and I knew all the good 308 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 1: right and then I knew some of the bad, and 309 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 1: you know, that's how we love each other. You love 310 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 1: all of them. But some people only got the bad 311 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 1: part because it was like later in the night and 312 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 1: she had a lot of drinks and the patients was 313 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 1: low and there was no therapy and she, you know, 314 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:48,480 Speaker 1: and she'd be like getting the car and then you 315 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 1: were just sitting the car yelling my name where I'm 316 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 1: walking around and I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm 317 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 1: really sorry. It's not it's just we're she's tired or 318 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 1: you know. I mean, like the apology tour for me 319 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 1: is ended out because you do your own you do 320 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: your own inventory. Now, like I don't have to do that. 321 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,600 Speaker 1: It's a great exercise for me. Now I have to 322 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 1: look at everybody I see, going, oh, what's her family? Like? 323 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 1: I see somebody walking, I'm like, what's her house? Like? 324 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 1: Does her husband hit her? What's her family? Like? I'm like, 325 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:18,000 Speaker 1: I'm so much empathy. I'm looking exhausted, But I have 326 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 1: to work on it because I want to get better 327 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 1: at having empathy. And empathy is learned, you can learn it, yes, 328 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 1: And that's you know, he reveals to me. All the 329 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 1: deathy is learned. You can learn you can improve its 330 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 1: patience and patients and empathy are tied. And for those 331 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,680 Speaker 1: of you, like you know, sympathy and empathy because we've 332 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 1: had this conversation, because you know, we've been friends for 333 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 1: a long time, so we've seen each other through a 334 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,440 Speaker 1: lot of things. But when he said to me, goes, 335 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,720 Speaker 1: are you you know, do you feel empathetic like when 336 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 1: you're when you're a great Because I could be the 337 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 1: best friend, I best friend, show up if anyone's going 338 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 1: through anything, I'm there. I don't even have to know you. 339 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 1: It could be a stranger and I will be there 340 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 1: just for the sake of it. But what I realized 341 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 1: is sometimes I was just showing up to be the 342 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,960 Speaker 1: person who always showed up so everyone would say, oh, 343 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:04,000 Speaker 1: Chelsea's good at showing up, not because I was thinking 344 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,160 Speaker 1: about what it was like to be in a person's 345 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,880 Speaker 1: shoes who was going through something difficult. Being sympathetic it's 346 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,720 Speaker 1: different than being empathetic. It's still pretty good, though, having 347 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,120 Speaker 1: been on the receiving end of it, it's still pretty good. 348 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,159 Speaker 1: It's nice to show up. It is. It's nice to 349 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,719 Speaker 1: show up. She shows up and shows up and shows up. 350 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,119 Speaker 1: Some days I'd be like, don't come, I'm fine, She's like, 351 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 1: and then she is. I was like, oh, I do 352 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:30,359 Speaker 1: need a shower. If you could just in time, I 353 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:34,000 Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna watch you from here. It is 354 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,320 Speaker 1: You're pretty great. I have to say, like, I know, 355 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 1: obviously there's nothing more horrific than losing a sibling, especially 356 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,600 Speaker 1: you know your book end, Like, what's more horrible than that? 357 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,919 Speaker 1: But it is part of what forms you, and I 358 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 1: do think like you having grown up having to self 359 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,919 Speaker 1: parent yourself, or having to become the reliable one, the 360 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 1: fixer because no one was making you feel safe as 361 00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 1: a kid, has been a huge benefit to me. Thank you, 362 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,359 Speaker 1: know and everyone else whom you love, like you are 363 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 1: the most reliable, the most you know, you are the fixer. 364 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 1: You're incredible. But it is wonderful that now you're fixing yourself, 365 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,160 Speaker 1: that you're allowing yourself that love you know that you've 366 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 1: given everyone else. Because I think, I actually I do. 367 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 1: I think I'm not I'll cry cry. You need an orange, girl, 368 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,679 Speaker 1: I do need an orange. But I do think like 369 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:33,359 Speaker 1: chat would be so proud. That's so sweet, Thank you, 370 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:39,879 Speaker 1: thank you. This is a more serious night than I'm sorry. 371 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,119 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but I love it. It's nice because you 372 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,119 Speaker 1: are you do you give so many people, so many 373 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,160 Speaker 1: so much love because I think that was what you were. 374 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 1: You know, you were forced into that role as a 375 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 1: nine year old girl. If no one's looking after you 376 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,480 Speaker 1: and you have to start to you're like, oh, shoot, 377 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,200 Speaker 1: I guess I'll do it myself, and then you start 378 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,240 Speaker 1: to do it for everyone else. You know. I think 379 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 1: it's nice for people to you want to be held. 380 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 1: It's why that orange moment was so powerful in the book. 381 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 1: It's just he was being he was keeping you in mind, right, 382 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: So to think of him at home having thought of you, 383 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,439 Speaker 1: like he's in the backyard and he goes she meant 384 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 1: like that, I'm gonna get that for her and just 385 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:20,160 Speaker 1: bring it in. That's simple. It's a little thing, right, 386 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,720 Speaker 1: It's a it's a non it's a non thing, but 387 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,679 Speaker 1: it means you were in his mind and so to 388 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:29,160 Speaker 1: be kept in mind is is so lovely. My brother, 389 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,359 Speaker 1: my brother, Checked did this thing that was so similar 390 00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 1: to the orange, which I always think now, like when 391 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,959 Speaker 1: I was I was born going through menopause, I've been 392 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,119 Speaker 1: sweating my entire life. I'm just fucking constantly hot, I 393 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 1: have to sleep with sixty five degree temperature fans everywhere. 394 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 1: When I was a little girl, I had like fans 395 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 1: oscillating in my room. They had it on rotation. Like 396 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,440 Speaker 1: I was like, you know, the burden victim. And I 397 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:52,080 Speaker 1: and my brother was the only person who took it seriously. 398 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 1: And we had six kids in our family. So I 399 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,640 Speaker 1: was the youngest and my brother Chet was the oldest, 400 00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,160 Speaker 1: and so he was like the captain of our team. 401 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 1: You know. Our parents were fucking out of their minds 402 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:05,440 Speaker 1: and you know, irresponsible and tired from having six kids. 403 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,280 Speaker 1: And I was like the little mascot. So I was 404 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 1: his plaything and we were bookends. He would do this thing. 405 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 1: Whenever I would eat soup, I'd have to take my 406 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,760 Speaker 1: top off because I would sweat. And then when night, 407 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 1: when once I was like you know, like eight or nine, 408 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,879 Speaker 1: I started getting my leg buds in and all of 409 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,919 Speaker 1: a sudden, they were like, oh, these are gonna be big. 410 00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:28,520 Speaker 1: Dad knew, and they were like, we're on Martha's vineyard. 411 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 1: And I was like, I want to get some clam chowder. 412 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,600 Speaker 1: And my brother looked at me. I'll never forget the 413 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 1: look on his face, like you know what that means 414 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,000 Speaker 1: I'm gonna to take your top off in a restaurant, 415 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:38,879 Speaker 1: like it's the middle of the daytime, you're getting older, 416 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,400 Speaker 1: Like do we want to do this? And he went 417 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 1: and we got take out clam chowder and he went 418 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,680 Speaker 1: and put me in the car and he goes, okay, 419 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 1: take your top off in there and eat it in there. 420 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: And and I remember he standing outside the door and 421 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,680 Speaker 1: just come into the car. He's like, I'm gonna wait 422 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,400 Speaker 1: till you're done with the soup. And I was eight 423 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,240 Speaker 1: years old and like, just eat the soup in me 424 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,400 Speaker 1: when my tips I like, He's like, no, you stay 425 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:04,680 Speaker 1: in the car and I'll be even be done when 426 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,400 Speaker 1: And you know, he did those things like he put 427 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,040 Speaker 1: me in bed, He carried me up the stairs. You 428 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,040 Speaker 1: drive me to Martha's vineyard and back, like it was 429 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 1: a five hour drive to the ferry. And he put 430 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 1: me in bed and put my fan on on high 431 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,159 Speaker 1: in my face like and I was wide awake, but 432 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,199 Speaker 1: pretending to be asleep because I just wanted to be 433 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,320 Speaker 1: carried by him. But it was it was those moments 434 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 1: that taught me what like, oh, this is what love is. 435 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,120 Speaker 1: This is the first expression of it. I had my parents, 436 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 1: but this was like a boyfriend, you know, like that's 437 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,399 Speaker 1: who took me and stuffed me out of the house. 438 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 1: So that moment for me, you know, I thought, I 439 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,280 Speaker 1: really you know, we had talked about it so many 440 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,720 Speaker 1: times about oh yeah, my brother died. Anybody would be 441 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:43,800 Speaker 1: like I'm sorry, like you didn't kill him, like you know, 442 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 1: it just a total fuck up reaction to everything. And 443 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,679 Speaker 1: then my friends would get into a situation or there'd 444 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 1: have somebody die and I was like on the floor 445 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 1: for them, you know, I'd be like my friends, uh, 446 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,919 Speaker 1: marriage broke up Amber who you know, and her fiance 447 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 1: broke up with her, and I more devastated than she was. 448 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,119 Speaker 1: Like after three days, she was like I need you 449 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,160 Speaker 1: to get away from me. She's like I just got 450 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 1: dumped and you're still crying about it. I'm like, I 451 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,240 Speaker 1: know this isn't a normal rection because you need to 452 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,960 Speaker 1: go to a psychiatrist. And that was when I was 453 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,919 Speaker 1: like twenty five. So you know the point is that 454 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: it builds up, and it builds up and it shows up. 455 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,360 Speaker 1: It's never gonna go away until you extinguish it yourself. 456 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,480 Speaker 1: That deal with your ship, or it deals with you yeah, right, 457 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 1: or it punches you right in the face and then 458 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,920 Speaker 1: you're like, fun, what am I doing with my life? 459 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,040 Speaker 1: But what's come out of it? It's really good, right obviously, 460 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,200 Speaker 1: Chet You know, I would love to have met Chat. 461 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,600 Speaker 1: I would love him to be here now. But part 462 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:41,080 Speaker 1: of who you are is that scar, right, That's right. 463 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:42,720 Speaker 1: It's a big part of who you are. I mean, 464 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,439 Speaker 1: I think scars are like you're wearing with pride. You 465 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,400 Speaker 1: survive something and you're different from it. You know, it's 466 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 1: not a wound, it's a scar, and a scar you 467 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:54,959 Speaker 1: sort of show off. It makes you more fuckable and 468 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 1: without the severance on. Somebody calls handle handles or whatever 469 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:02,920 Speaker 1: that don't suck it up. It's handles handler. It's not great. 470 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 1: I was in a panic. Why did it five minutes 471 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 1: before I came out here? Handlers no, no ship fuck 472 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 1: handles handler at gmail dot com. Okay, well this sounds 473 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 1: like a good time to take a break. I want 474 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 1: to talk about um men because Mary has always been like, listen, 475 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,160 Speaker 1: this is a fucking man's world. You you're a woman, 476 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,119 Speaker 1: You're to get no respect. And I would always I 477 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,200 Speaker 1: was like, what are you talking about? Life was great? 478 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 1: I at my own show. I'm doing great. I didn't 479 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 1: realize that wasn't what it was like for everybody. I 480 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,320 Speaker 1: really was in my own ass so hardcore that I 481 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 1: had to rip myself out of it. And and you know, 482 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,240 Speaker 1: when we discovered all this disgusting ship, like you know 483 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,359 Speaker 1: the fact that Harvey Weinsteiner, Louis c. Cattle, remember it 484 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,280 Speaker 1: was who it was. You had no idea me too, 485 00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:52,200 Speaker 1: was going on. Yeah, I mean, it wasn't no surprise 486 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,680 Speaker 1: to me. I know all the executives who have beds 487 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,679 Speaker 1: in their offices, and yeah, it's not what's not a 488 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 1: shock shocking to find out that men were jerking off 489 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:04,720 Speaker 1: into plants something that I knew was going on. I mean, honestly, 490 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 1: one of those guys, Louis c k or no, I 491 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,560 Speaker 1: think that was Harvey, Harvey jerking off into a like 492 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:14,040 Speaker 1: That's what I knew that ship was real, because in 493 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 1: no circumstances ever in the history of mankind or in 494 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,360 Speaker 1: the future will you find a fucking woman rubbing one 495 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 1: out into a fucking plant. Only a man would do 496 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 1: something so stupid. Oh, I mean, honestly, a plant. It's like, oh, 497 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,479 Speaker 1: is there a wall? No, I guess I'll suck this plant. 498 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,320 Speaker 1: But I think that is even part of why I 499 00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:39,800 Speaker 1: thought Trump was gonna win the whole time. And you 500 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:44,639 Speaker 1: were like, no, no, no, I'm definitely not on most things, 501 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,359 Speaker 1: but on that, I just had a I just knew 502 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:52,719 Speaker 1: how much how deep seated that sexism is. Like I 503 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,720 Speaker 1: just thought, there's no a lot of men, even men 504 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,960 Speaker 1: I like, who were like, no, no, definitely, I know 505 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,880 Speaker 1: when the privacy of the booth, the voting booth right, 506 00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 1: that people are privates to win when they elected an Africa, 507 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,199 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, we're not a traditionally not a 508 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,200 Speaker 1: sort of open country to the first black president, like 509 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:13,399 Speaker 1: it took us a while, right, and still anything but 510 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,479 Speaker 1: a woman like right, I mean his name was Hussain, 511 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,520 Speaker 1: and they're like, just get him. Who cared anyone but her? 512 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:21,520 Speaker 1: Just fucking get him. Get anyone right right now. I mean, 513 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,120 Speaker 1: now there's a guy running. Thank God. I love Mayor Peat, 514 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,479 Speaker 1: but now we're I love Mayor Pe, love him, love 515 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,360 Speaker 1: him so much. But it's interesting because Elizabeth Warren has 516 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,080 Speaker 1: policy dripping from her ears and we're still and we're 517 00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 1: still even may I'm like, I do love Mayor p 518 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,520 Speaker 1: And then I'm like, what am I up to? Like? 519 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:42,040 Speaker 1: What is this? Like? Elizabeth Warren has a solution for everything, 520 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,200 Speaker 1: like like for the last like the last episode of 521 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,879 Speaker 1: like the last season of Game of Throne. She's like, 522 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,480 Speaker 1: I think I can fix that. I mean, she has 523 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 1: a solution for everything, and she has like plan A 524 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,439 Speaker 1: through C. And we're still like, I don't know, is 525 00:25:55,440 --> 00:26:01,640 Speaker 1: she electable? I like Elizabeth Warren. I like she fuck 526 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 1: knows what she's talking about, and she's somebody that would 527 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,960 Speaker 1: win the election. She's not celebrating that night, she's getting 528 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,680 Speaker 1: to work. You know. There's like all these ego candidates 529 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,960 Speaker 1: and you can tell what that's about. And then there 530 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,439 Speaker 1: are there are politicized candidates. But I am warming up 531 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,679 Speaker 1: and I like that there are so many people reaching good. 532 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 1: And I also love Mayor Pete. I don't mean to disparage. 533 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:22,439 Speaker 1: I love Mayor Pete. I'm on board for all of them. 534 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,800 Speaker 1: All Right, let's see what else should we talk about? 535 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,600 Speaker 1: You want to talk about? Sexual history is over? I 536 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,160 Speaker 1: think we sealed that well and there's been others, but 537 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:33,000 Speaker 1: we can leave it at that. What I learned contress. 538 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:34,600 Speaker 1: This is an announcement I'd like to make because as 539 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,320 Speaker 1: long as I keep saying it, it becomes more and 540 00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,960 Speaker 1: more real. I'm ready to be in an adult relationship 541 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: because it takes a healthy to get a healthy and 542 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:45,440 Speaker 1: now I'm sort of healthy. All right. I have a question. Question. 543 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I think she would like to fuck her boyfriend. 544 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,200 Speaker 1: But I think you would also like a partner who 545 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:56,720 Speaker 1: makes you laugh and challenges you. I would. Yeah, a 546 00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:02,160 Speaker 1: lot of skiers in Arizona. I think skiers are everywhere. Um, 547 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:06,240 Speaker 1: all right, here's a question, because I'm interested in how 548 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:10,440 Speaker 1: brave you are, what scares you. I mean I could 549 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,480 Speaker 1: jump off a building no problem, and I could fly 550 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,679 Speaker 1: like I could skydi have no problem. I could do 551 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,120 Speaker 1: all that. I don't have fear like jumping. I love 552 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,399 Speaker 1: to jump because then I can just keep moving. You know. 553 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,840 Speaker 1: That's like my that's my my speed. When I talked 554 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 1: to Dan about skiing, I was so like, you know, 555 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,399 Speaker 1: effusive about skiing and so passionate. And he goes, you know, Chelsea, 556 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,960 Speaker 1: if you can achieve that feeling when you're skiing, this 557 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,800 Speaker 1: like one with the you know, not one with the universe. 558 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,400 Speaker 1: But I was like, I just feel so high when 559 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 1: I ski. He goes, Yeah, that's you. Know, rush like 560 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 1: you're one, you feel like at home in the mountains, 561 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,320 Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, I just like to fucking ski, Dan, 562 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 1: and then he goes, you know, if you feel like 563 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 1: that when you're skiing, if you have that that point 564 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,400 Speaker 1: of elation, you can feel that at home in your 565 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,880 Speaker 1: regular day to day life through meditation. I'm like, oh, 566 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:57,399 Speaker 1: fuck you, Dan, And well now I do feel I 567 00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 1: don't feel that I'm working on it, but meditation. Listen, 568 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,960 Speaker 1: I gotta tell you guys, I'm not somebody who subscribes 569 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 1: to all of that stuff. And I my psychiatrist said, 570 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,679 Speaker 1: meditate for three months. I just want you to commit 571 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 1: three minutes a day. And I was like, three months. 572 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,840 Speaker 1: It is like a pregnancy, you know, that's too long. 573 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,879 Speaker 1: And he's like, no, that's actually not what a pregnancy is, 574 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 1: and what's my pregnancy is work? But so I did. 575 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,600 Speaker 1: I did commit, and I have to tell you I 576 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 1: did three minutes today Headspace. Then I did five minutes 577 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 1: a day, then I did ten minutes a day, and 578 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 1: I swear it has changed my life, like I am 579 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,680 Speaker 1: calmer and well, I mean it's everything together. But for 580 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,160 Speaker 1: all inedibles, well edibles helped me meditate They were the 581 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,280 Speaker 1: gateway drug to get me to fucking sit down long 582 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 1: enough that I could go. Finally, I was like, oh 583 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,400 Speaker 1: my god, today I went and I meditated in the 584 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,280 Speaker 1: middle of the afternoon and I woke up. But it 585 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 1: feels good. I mean, it's it all fucking works, and 586 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,320 Speaker 1: people talk about it because it does work. So if 587 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,160 Speaker 1: you're a cynic like me, I just wanted to know 588 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:02,760 Speaker 1: there's hope out there. I want to read you, guys 589 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,680 Speaker 1: a passage from my book before I go. So I 590 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:08,200 Speaker 1: have these I decide bracelets, um, and I decide t 591 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,800 Speaker 1: shirts that were selling outside. All the proceeds go to 592 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 1: l g B t Q. I a youth, So you're 593 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 1: donating to a good cause to keep them off the 594 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,719 Speaker 1: streets and to keep them loved and safe and sound, 595 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:26,160 Speaker 1: just like all of us when we grew up. I 596 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 1: want to read this passage. Don't stare at my ass, 597 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 1: Mary you. I didn't know then that my brother's death 598 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,840 Speaker 1: was defining me. I didn't know that I had the 599 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:38,480 Speaker 1: ability to say no to being defined by death. Now 600 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,520 Speaker 1: I was with a person Dan, who could help me 601 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,720 Speaker 1: process what happened and turned the parts of me that 602 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:47,040 Speaker 1: acted like a nine year old into a self actualized 603 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:50,240 Speaker 1: adult who had come to a better understanding of what 604 00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 1: it means to dig deep and admit that you are 605 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 1: in pain, thereby beginning the process of relinquishing that pain. 606 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,280 Speaker 1: I was in a place where my brother died. Ying 607 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 1: no longer had to define my existence. It is a 608 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 1: part of who I am, perhaps the biggest part, and 609 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,800 Speaker 1: it may have helped steer me in a certain direction, 610 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:12,280 Speaker 1: but it is not all of me. I define me. 611 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 1: No event or person does this. I define me. I 612 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,920 Speaker 1: decide who I am and how I'm going to behave 613 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,760 Speaker 1: and I choose to be better, to look more carefully, 614 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 1: to trudge deeper, to think about other people's pasts and 615 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 1: not judge someone for doing or handling something differently than 616 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:35,440 Speaker 1: I would. To understand my limitations and my shortcomings. That 617 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,640 Speaker 1: is my growth edge, to know I'm not going to 618 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 1: go through something, I'm not going to circle around something 619 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,320 Speaker 1: and hoping to avoid it, that I'm going to go 620 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 1: through it, sitting it and experiencing and feeling and not running. 621 00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:56,719 Speaker 1: To understand that things take time, and to be okay 622 00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,080 Speaker 1: sitting with my pain. No one is fully cooked, no 623 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,160 Speaker 1: person is complete. I choose to be better I hope 624 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,000 Speaker 1: you all choose to be better too. I decided thank 625 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,960 Speaker 1: you Phoenix for fronding out tonight, and thank you to 626 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:16,720 Speaker 1: very right that stage where the yeah yeah you guys 627 00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:20,360 Speaker 1: wants well, Brandon, what is your review anything with you? 628 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 1: And Mary? I'm on board for really what's been your 629 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,400 Speaker 1: favorite show so far? You know, I really like Jake Tapper, 630 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 1: which I think was the first that you did. But Mary, 631 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 1: probably because it's the most natural for me to hear 632 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,600 Speaker 1: you on stage. Mary, I only asked Brandon that because 633 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 1: he has to listen to all these podcasts with me 634 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 1: every week. When we listen to them before we let 635 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:44,560 Speaker 1: them before they drop, Mary can challenge you and she 636 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 1: can like stay on beat with you. Were some other 637 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,520 Speaker 1: people they don't pick it up quite as quick, and 638 00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 1: Mary really serves it back. And that's why this was 639 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:55,400 Speaker 1: probably one of my favorites. Well, it's an important Brandon, 640 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 1: that you have favorites and to express those on a 641 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,800 Speaker 1: regular basis us. Can you not be on your phone 642 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,640 Speaker 1: while we're recording a podcast? I mean, speaking of favorites, 643 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 1: she's right here in front of you. Julie Novid Goodbye 644 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:10,960 Speaker 1: Life Will be the Death of Me. As a production 645 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,560 Speaker 1: of i heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, 646 00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,680 Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 647 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:18,040 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.