Speaker 1: Are we live? Are these on?
Speaker 2: Noel Miller? How you doing?
Speaker 1: Man? Good? How are you sorry? I jumped the gun?
Speaker 2: I've Yeah, where's that expression come from? Jump the gun?
Speaker 1: I think that's like a like a eighteen fifties reference. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know, I think that's something they said, probably in
Speaker 1: like The Oregon Trail.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you ever play that game The Oregon Trail?
Speaker 1: I did in the computer lab though, Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: never had it at home, so I don't have like
Speaker 1: these deep connections to like other people do.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It definitely is, you know, rings a bell for
Speaker 2: a lot of people in the childhood experience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you did you play? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I played it at school in a computer class.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, damn, I'm just thinking about computer class. No.
Speaker 2: Well, what's been the most persistent thought on your mind lately?
Speaker 1: Most persistent thought?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna sound sad man, but no, please go karts?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is that is that? Is that really been the most
Speaker 2: recent thought? Go karts?
Speaker 1: It's just I love doing it. It's such a I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's such a simple hobby, but it's just
Speaker 1: so much fun. I get a lot of enjoyment out
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 2: How recently did you start doing go karts.
Speaker 1: About a year and a half ago, and I can't
Speaker 1: stay away. It's just too good.
Speaker 2: When you are on the go kart track, do all
Speaker 2: of the things that typically take up your mind space
Speaker 2: during an average day of your life just go away.
Speaker 1: And you're very in the moment they do. That's why
Speaker 1: I love it. Keeps me, keeps me grounded.
Speaker 2: What kinds of things are you escaping from when you're
Speaker 2: on the go kart track?
Speaker 1: I would say I experienced a great amount of stress,
Speaker 1: you know, after the TMG podcast kind of blew up
Speaker 1: and we've kind of taken on this ambition to start
Speaker 1: a network and you know you and just keeping up
Speaker 1: with everything else. Feels good to get out there and
Speaker 1: just think about turning right and left.
Speaker 2: Yeah, are you do you like being stressed?
Speaker 1: No? No, stress is horrible, man? Are you?
Speaker 2: But you you seem to me like, you know, I mean,
Speaker 2: anyone who you know achieves any you know, modicum of
Speaker 2: success doing anything, you know, it has to be, like,
Speaker 2: you know, an entrepreneurial spirit and whatnot do is that you?
Speaker 2: Do you identify with that?
Speaker 1: I think so? Yeah, I definitely enjoy the problem solving
Speaker 1: of it, you know, But it's it's like I've I
Speaker 1: have mixed feelings. You know, I appreciate where I'm at,
Speaker 1: but I hate stress. It sucks.
Speaker 2: What do you think your life would look like if
Speaker 2: it had less stress? Like, what would make you less stressed?
Speaker 1: M probably being online less. I think I'm terminally online.
Speaker 1: I think I get stressed out from that too. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, are you like constantly checking the Instagram, Twitter, Facebook?
Speaker 1: Book? But yeah, no, definitely not Facebook. But I think,
Speaker 1: you know, just even reading too much of the news
Speaker 1: and paying a lot of mind to it random people
Speaker 1: are arguing about and all that. So yeah, I think
Speaker 1: generally if I was online less, I'd be happier.
Speaker 2: Have you ever tried to do one of those like detoxes,
Speaker 2: where you you put away the phone for a certain
Speaker 2: amount of time and agree not to touch it for
Speaker 2: a certain amount of time.
Speaker 1: I haven't because I'm just terminally online, but I think
Speaker 1: I need to at this point.
Speaker 2: You know what the fucking problem is and I get
Speaker 2: this too, is like, you know your job requires you
Speaker 2: can't just you can't delete it, exactly need to have
Speaker 2: it so you can't go cold turkey. Yeah, and like
Speaker 2: the the I know personally, like of my Internet usage,
Speaker 2: A very tiny percent of it is like essential for
Speaker 2: what I do. The rest is just mindless, fucking scrolling. Agreed,
Speaker 2: But that little one percent is what reals in. Yeah,
Speaker 2: to you know something, allow you to what's the word not?
Speaker 2: What's the opposite of condemn? Excuse to excuse? They do
Speaker 2: get that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I agree. I think I tell myself, if
Speaker 1: I unplugged too much, then I'm not going to be
Speaker 1: connected with what's going on, so I I should just
Speaker 1: go for it just for that, you know, a little
Speaker 1: bit of thread to everybody else, which is just kind
Speaker 1: of you know, it's bull like a lot of the time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're just looking at bullshit. And you know, the most
Speaker 1: I ever get out of most of my Internet usually
Speaker 1: just like a couple of good memes. Okay, Like that's
Speaker 1: about it, and I really boil it down.
Speaker 2: Is it worth it?
Speaker 1: I don't think so, because I think for the other time,
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm locked in. You know, I'm not paying
Speaker 1: attention to the world in front of me, you.
Speaker 2: Know, outside of like your personal relationship with the Internet.
Speaker 2: Are you one of those guys? I feel like there's
Speaker 2: the two camps of like the internet is destroying us
Speaker 2: all in our attention spans and making it so that
Speaker 2: we're depressing the ship, but it's also connecting us. It
Speaker 2: allows us to do what we do, provide a lot
Speaker 2: of good things. Where on that spectrum would you say
Speaker 2: you are and you're just general thoughts.
Speaker 1: About it is killing us all? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah, I think.
Speaker 1: The Internet is a is a poison. It's bad for us.
Speaker 1: We'd be so much happier without it.
Speaker 2: Do you have any other vices?
Speaker 1: Vices? Just a little bit of crack, a little bit
Speaker 1: of cracked?
Speaker 2: No, you're done crack?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Have you?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: I have a friend who has done it, though.
Speaker 1: What did he say about it?
Speaker 2: He said it was awesome, That's what I've heard. I'm
Speaker 2: sure it's amaz. They wouldn't. People would get adicted to
Speaker 2: it if it was not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels bad. Yeah, yeah, no, I've heard it's great.
Speaker 2: Would you if you were in a is there a
Speaker 2: situation that could possibly be orchestrated where you would try it?
Speaker 1: Man? I think I could do it if if it
Speaker 1: was someone else was not supposed to do it.
Speaker 2: Okay, So you and a friend hang out with a
Speaker 2: guy who does crack all the time, and the friend
Speaker 2: is like, fuck it, I'm down.
Speaker 1: Kind of yeah, or I was thinking something more damning,
Speaker 1: like like Lewis Hamilton he could never be within six
Speaker 1: like miles of crack in a you know, and that
Speaker 1: dude is just such like he's held us to such
Speaker 1: a high standard. So if I was in a room
Speaker 1: and someone broke out some crack and Lewis Hamilton looked
Speaker 1: at me and was like, hey, I'd be like, yeah.
Speaker 2: You would go down with him. You'd be on this is.
Speaker 1: Our secret, bro.
Speaker 2: So so uh no, like, do you drink? Do you
Speaker 2: smoke weeds?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Okay? High?
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: I recently took mushrooms one time.
Speaker 2: How was that?
Speaker 1: It was great? Yeah? Now that you know, I've I
Speaker 1: got some time off this month, so I think we'll
Speaker 1: do some more.
Speaker 2: Okay, but yeah, did you learn anything? I learned that
Speaker 2: I like mushrooms? Okay, Yeah, that's about.
Speaker 1: It, though. Nice.
Speaker 2: Well, and this was the first time you did it? Yeah,
Speaker 2: so you didn't you like? You know, why why do
Speaker 2: you feel like it took how old are you again?
Speaker 1: Sixteen?
Speaker 2: Sixteen? Okay? So, uh, why did it take you this
Speaker 2: this long to one experiment with it?
Speaker 1: You know? Man, I grew up in a very like
Speaker 1: chaotic environment. Yeah, so I think I always had this
Speaker 1: commitment to myself that I wanted to make sure my
Speaker 1: life was on track before I went crazy, for sure.
Speaker 1: So I had like this deep commitment to myself to
Speaker 1: put myself in a good position to succeed. And now
Speaker 1: that I feel like I'm in a stable position, now
Speaker 1: I can do some shrooms fucking go crazy. Maybe even
Speaker 1: a little crack, you know, Yeah, we just find out,
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like, what if crack? What if
Speaker 1: somehow crack?
Speaker 2: You know people that take these mushroom trips and like
Speaker 2: it changes your life for the better. Yeah, could that
Speaker 2: happen with crack? Like you take crack and all of
Speaker 2: a sudden it actually inspires you to be a better person.
Speaker 2: I mean it could, it could. It's unknown, It's it's
Speaker 2: a question mark variable.
Speaker 1: I mean it might. It might motivate some beautiful art,
Speaker 1: you know it. Crack could do a lot, Yeah, a lot,
Speaker 1: I mean a lot has come from crack. What Like,
Speaker 1: what good music?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Where the Beatles on crack? I heard that's a
Speaker 2: long le that's a yeah, it's a legend. Yeah, I've
Speaker 2: heard about I.
Speaker 1: Mean even you know, rappers selling you know, drugs in general.
Speaker 1: You know, that's produced some great art as well. So
Speaker 1: I feel like, in a weird way, positives have come
Speaker 1: out of crack, you know, at the expense of in
Speaker 1: a terrible way. Yeah, but I think it's fair to
Speaker 1: villain ice crack though.
Speaker 2: I'm impressed that that you are. You're telling me you
Speaker 2: have a lot of stress in your life. You don't
Speaker 2: because like I I have stress and I eat a
Speaker 2: ton of candy. I like everyone has a thing. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you don't have like a fucking bad thing that you
Speaker 2: do to just like No, I guess it's go karting. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's my that's my thing.
Speaker 1: Though is I've always thought maybe I need a little
Speaker 1: bit more I need a little bit more vice, Okay,
Speaker 1: because I locked myself mentally into like it's almost like
Speaker 1: I chose to put myself through boot camp. But like
Speaker 1: every day, you know, just like piss and clean, working out,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to eat solid.
Speaker 2: So you're also doing the your a healthy guy. Yeah yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: yeah you said just now, you said you put yourself
Speaker 2: through boot camp, so you it's a conscious choice every
Speaker 2: day to take on this. Yeah, Like I just wake
Speaker 2: up and I'm like, bring it, okay, nice, I'm ready.
Speaker 2: Have you always been like that.
Speaker 1: At a point? Yeah? I think there was a point
Speaker 1: where my childhood got too chaotic and I had to
Speaker 1: step up. And I think from that point I just
Speaker 1: learned how to tune shit out and take on stress
Speaker 1: and just do. It's difficult.
Speaker 2: Has anything ever made you just crumble?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Definitely? Yeah, uh trying to think. Oh, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, the thought of oh this like breaks me
Speaker 1: mentally all the time, dude, Like the thought of being
Speaker 1: like bad at stand up. Oh. Sometimes I'll get on
Speaker 1: stage and people are like great set, and I'll just
Speaker 1: reflect on my set a little bit and I'm like,
Speaker 1: was it?
Speaker 2: Oh you kind of answered the question I was gonna
Speaker 2: ask you with that, which is bad at stand up?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 2: What is the rubric of that? Is it?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 2: Cause you?
Speaker 6: Is it?
Speaker 2: You? Do you get to decide whether not you're bad?
Speaker 2: Or is it like the crowd who decides you're bad?
Speaker 2: Who's standard are we going with?
Speaker 1: That's a great question, man. Yeah, I definitely think the
Speaker 1: crowd gets to decide to a degree. But sometimes I
Speaker 1: get a little you know, it's that imposter syndrome. You know,
Speaker 1: I could have a good set, but then I think,
Speaker 1: are they laughing because I'm funny or do they just
Speaker 1: think I'm a nice guy? Is this whole thing like
Speaker 1: a make a wish situation? Like did I walk off
Speaker 1: stage and then some producer came out and they were like,
Speaker 1: thank you for doing your audience work for the Truman Show.
Speaker 1: We appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah, And the whole thing is
Speaker 1: a lie.
Speaker 2: Can I actually can I bring up kind of what
Speaker 2: we're talking about back is I asked you what you
Speaker 2: were really enjoying about, you know, life now, and you
Speaker 2: said you're enjoying doing stand up, but you said that
Speaker 2: you want to go and do stand up in more
Speaker 2: places where like people don't know you. Yeah, And what
Speaker 2: you're saying now kind of like it kind of tracks
Speaker 2: with that, like you want to like earn it. You
Speaker 2: want people being like, oh, I saw this guy on YouTube,
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna laugh at everything.
Speaker 1: Says well, it's definitely yeah, you know sometimes I think,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I've heard different opinions on this.
Speaker 1: You know, I've heard Schultz say it's it's a great
Speaker 1: thing when people recognize you from the internet, because then
Speaker 1: they know you and you can just kind of tell
Speaker 1: the jokes you want to tell. But I think there's
Speaker 1: something super special about stand up when they just don't
Speaker 1: know you and it's just total strangers and you guys,
Speaker 1: could you know, vibe with the same sense of humor.
Speaker 1: I think that's cool.
Speaker 2: It feels like you earn it a little bit more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely, But.
Speaker 2: There's also I mean, you it's it's almost like two
Speaker 2: different types of earning it because when the people feel
Speaker 2: the seats, you you earned the filling of the seats.
Speaker 1: That's very true. Yeah. Yeah, I think this just kind
Speaker 1: of goes back to my you know, I like boot
Speaker 1: campsh mentality. You know, it can always be taken away
Speaker 1: from you, so keep working.
Speaker 2: Has the boot campish mentality served you ultimately?
Speaker 1: I think it has. But I think at this point
Speaker 1: in life, I'm trying to listen more to what you're saying.
Speaker 1: You know, maybe maybe a little vice is good, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe maybe relax a little bit.
Speaker 2: Just don't go kart on Instagram. Yeah, if you're addicted
Speaker 2: to social media, you don't want to find yourself like
Speaker 2: checking Twitter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. I feel like cracking go carts
Speaker 1: could be amazing.
Speaker 2: Cracking go carts sounds fucking awesome. Yeah, they should make
Speaker 2: a circuit for them. It's okay if the answer is
Speaker 2: absolutely nothing. But what do you know about no.
Speaker 1: I know, I know. On this show it can get
Speaker 1: very deep.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we get like, you know something. It ranges
Speaker 2: from like people talking about ships that they took three
Speaker 2: days ago and yeah, you know the issues they're having
Speaker 2: with their dad for many years. Yeah, it's anything. Yeah,
Speaker 2: let's see what we got.
Speaker 1: Let's go Mmmm.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's way too heavy. Let's start with something easy.
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Maddie. What's good?
Speaker 3: Maddie?
Speaker 2: You are on the phone with two geckos. I'm here
Speaker 2: with Noel and how can we how can we get
Speaker 2: you today? What's going on?
Speaker 7: I wanted to call in because my boyfriend is moving
Speaker 7: to a big city for college next well this month,
Speaker 7: and we're gonna have to do a long distance and
Speaker 7: we haven't done long distance before. So I wanted to
Speaker 7: see if you guys had any advice.
Speaker 2: M Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
Speaker 1: No, but I know some people who have.
Speaker 2: Okay, what's worked for them? Or do they all fail?
Speaker 1: Cheating? The cheating?
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm bringing all the options to the table and
Speaker 2: then we'll, you know, go from there.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 1: I know one person has been in a long distance
Speaker 1: relationship for a while, and I think would help them
Speaker 1: is no real contact with the opposite sex outside of work?
Speaker 2: Really, Yeah, Mattie, how do you feel about that? Does
Speaker 2: that seem limiting to you? Does that you know what?
Speaker 2: What's what? What is your take on that?
Speaker 7: I don't know. I feel like we kind of do
Speaker 7: that now, like when we live together, we don't really
Speaker 7: have any like opposite sex friends. But I mean I
Speaker 7: before we got into a relationship, I went to college
Speaker 7: and I know that I had like a big friend
Speaker 7: group with guys and girls, and so I feel like
Speaker 7: i'd probably want him to get like the full college experience,
Speaker 7: but that would definitely be something that's hard, Like hearing
Speaker 7: he has like a girl best friend or something out
Speaker 7: there that would definitely be hard.
Speaker 1: Okay, Now I got a couple questions. One, how old
Speaker 1: is your boyfriend? And to what city is he going?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: What big college is he going to?
Speaker 7: He's twenty and he's going to University of Texas in Austin.
Speaker 2: Oh, I know, what do you know about the university
Speaker 2: of Texas.
Speaker 1: Man Austin is already a weird place and they party
Speaker 1: like fucking crazy there, Maddie, Where are you going to
Speaker 1: be staying? Where are you going to be living?
Speaker 5: So?
Speaker 7: I'm in San Antonio, which is not like different state
Speaker 7: or anything, but I know San Antonium. But with like,
Speaker 7: I work, so I worked Monday through Friday, so we
Speaker 7: probably won't be to see each other like maybe on
Speaker 7: the weekend and stuff.
Speaker 2: How long have you guys been together for?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a great question.
Speaker 7: Almost two years?
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, and you're both like early twice, so like,
Speaker 2: did you meet in high school?
Speaker 7: No, we met right after I guess we both graduated.
Speaker 7: We were like in our first year of college. But
Speaker 7: he was going to the UTSA, so like a college
Speaker 7: in San Antonio, and then he transferred to you.
Speaker 1: Okay, I got one more question. I probably actually have
Speaker 1: a couple more, but I want to ask what's his major?
Speaker 1: That's key.
Speaker 7: He's been mathematics major.
Speaker 1: Oh you're fine, Yeah, you're fine, You're you're okay.
Speaker 2: That's the pro of dating mathematics major. Yeah, does he
Speaker 2: look like a mathematics major?
Speaker 1: That's a great track.
Speaker 2: When he says that he's that.
Speaker 7: No, I don't think so. I don't think when I
Speaker 7: first met him, when he told me math, I didn't
Speaker 7: think it's it.
Speaker 3: I know he's cute.
Speaker 2: See that's oh, that's see, that's oh he's one of
Speaker 2: the like Likenridy, but in a cute way.
Speaker 7: Guys, Yeah, he.
Speaker 1: Is, Maddie, Maddie. Now you're you're his girlfriend, so you know,
Speaker 1: naturally you're gonna talk about him like his mom. You know,
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, he's the cutest, he's my favorite. Let's
Speaker 1: you know, let's let's take off the girlfriend glasses and
Speaker 1: let's look at him through stranger glasses. Is he a
Speaker 1: hot guy mathematics major? Or is he? Is he just
Speaker 1: like he's just cool?
Speaker 7: I think, you know what, when I introduced him to
Speaker 7: like my coworkers and everything, everyone told me like he
Speaker 7: was a cute guy. Like everyone, everyone thinks my boyfriend
Speaker 7: is cute. So I think it's everyone's opinion.
Speaker 2: Now if I'm trying to think, because okay, let's say
Speaker 2: that they were lying to you, yeah, or they do
Speaker 2: not that not that they were lying to you, but
Speaker 2: let's say that they didn't think that. What would they say.
Speaker 2: I feel like they would say nothing. Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 2: I know, so they must be. So I feel like
Speaker 2: it's not the truth because they said something. If they
Speaker 2: were lying, if they didn't think they were like, oh
Speaker 2: he's cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, one hundred percent. I think if he was ugly,
Speaker 1: they'd have been like, oh he's a nice guy.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 2: I can I ask you, you know, like a real question,
Speaker 2: and this is this is not a leading question by
Speaker 2: any means, but why do you want to stay with him?
Speaker 2: You know, after two years? What is continuing you wanting
Speaker 2: to be in a relationship with a great question.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 7: Honestly, I think he's the first guy that I ever
Speaker 7: wanted to make any type of relationship work with. Like,
Speaker 7: before him, I wasn't in relationships. I wasn't looking for
Speaker 7: a relationships. But it probably is the way that like
Speaker 7: he treats me and stuff. I don't know. I think
Speaker 7: we also just get along really well. I think we're
Speaker 7: very similar or like compatible people.
Speaker 1: What do you do for work now?
Speaker 7: I work at a department store in San.
Speaker 1: Antonio, Maddie. There's not a damn thing left for you
Speaker 1: in San Antonio.
Speaker 8: I know.
Speaker 7: I'm finishing school too in San Antonio, so I'll probably
Speaker 7: end up graduating in the next year or so, and
Speaker 7: then you know, it'll be easier for me if I
Speaker 7: wanted to like move somewhere. Great, now I'm kind of
Speaker 7: stuck there.
Speaker 1: Well, look, I think this is gonna be one of
Speaker 1: those experiences. You're just gonna have to go through it,
Speaker 1: you know, as much as we could give you advice here, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you just got to ride this wave of
Speaker 1: seeing you if you're a hound of a mathematics major boyfriend.
Speaker 2: Right right, these are situations in which they allow the
Speaker 2: relationship to reveal certain things about itself. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: you'll you'll discover more about who you are, discover more
Speaker 2: about your relationship. I mean, these tests are They're almost
Speaker 2: healthy in a way to have these tests, definitely, especially
Speaker 2: after two years. It's like, all right, you know you
Speaker 2: thought those two years we were easy. Yeah, Okay, let's
Speaker 2: let's throw some ship in there. See if this is
Speaker 2: a really thing that's gonna work out.
Speaker 1: He's a math major, so you know he's asked love's tests. Yeah,
Speaker 1: He's like, give me this the test life. I want this.
Speaker 2: But Matt, I think, Matt, if if if both of
Speaker 2: you want, both of you I think at the end
Speaker 2: of the day. If both of you really want to
Speaker 2: make it work, you will, Yeah, you know, but look,
Speaker 2: there's plenty, there's so many things you can do with
Speaker 2: your life. Also, Yeah, so I don't fague out too bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't you know what? Just be just be like,
Speaker 1: just be a total freak and like the night before
Speaker 1: he leaves, like give him a flashlight and say I'm
Speaker 1: going to miss you and just see what the look
Speaker 1: on his face is if he he might he might
Speaker 1: look at you and think you are such a fucking pervert.
Speaker 1: I love you, you know, like he that that might
Speaker 1: that might be one way to just you know, leave
Speaker 1: a statement on him, you know.
Speaker 2: And every time he's at you know, one of these
Speaker 2: crazy mathematic majors parties and you know some girl has
Speaker 2: given him the eyes, he's gonna he's gonna be thinking
Speaker 2: about that flashlight. Yeah, and he's gonna say Okay, nice
Speaker 2: to meet and walk away go upstairs.
Speaker 1: Ye.
Speaker 2: So, uh, Matt, is there anything else you want to
Speaker 2: say with people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 7: I feel like my boyfriend's probably watching some work right now.
Speaker 7: Could Noel say hi, Nott, No.
Speaker 1: No, I'm kidding, Matt, listen, let me tell you this, Matt,
Speaker 1: don't go to U T and be mister Clark Kent. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know, with her, you're the reporter. But then when
Speaker 1: you're out there on sixth Street, that's when you're in
Speaker 1: your fucking superhero suit, you know, being crazy doing whatever.
Speaker 1: So Matt, I say to you, be loyal, and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll second that.
Speaker 1: I'll second that.
Speaker 2: Hey, thanks for calling, Mattie.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 7: Guys.
Speaker 1: You're welcome.
Speaker 2: Are you? Are you in a relationship at all?
Speaker 1: I am man?
Speaker 2: How long you've been in a relationship.
Speaker 1: For a long time?
Speaker 2: How long?
Speaker 1: Like over ten years? Now?
Speaker 2: Over ten years?
Speaker 1: We've been through it all?
Speaker 2: Man? Holy shit? Yeah, okay, so I mean throughout those
Speaker 2: ten years, has there ever been this like a period
Speaker 2: of time where you had to spend a long amount
Speaker 2: of time away from each other?
Speaker 1: Yeah? You know, I mean she she like halfway through
Speaker 1: our relationship, she took on like really time consuming jobs.
Speaker 1: I can't say where she worked, sure, but yeah, she'd
Speaker 1: work like sixty seventy hour weeks, so you know, months
Speaker 1: at a time. So there was definitely we had to
Speaker 1: figure that out. It was as definitely a test.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what kinds of things did you do? During that
Speaker 2: time where you know that was difficult, that that kind
Speaker 2: of helped.
Speaker 1: I think I just that's when I just took advantage.
Speaker 1: I would just be going to do stand up and yeah,
Speaker 1: that's when Cody and I started doing a lot of
Speaker 1: work and yeah, just just trying to build my career.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: She was doing her thing, and I said, all right,
Speaker 1: I think now it's time for me to do my thing.
Speaker 2: So it's hard, I feel like to you know, talk
Speaker 2: through you know, people with relationship issues, because I mean,
Speaker 2: you know, like if I'm twenty and I'm but justin
Speaker 2: and I'm like in a new place and a new thing,
Speaker 2: like you know, I would feel like that's a great
Speaker 2: time like explore yourself and you know, worry about being
Speaker 2: in a relationship. But yeah, I don't know. But then
Speaker 2: you meet people who are like, I've been with my
Speaker 2: whatever for you know, since we were in high school
Speaker 2: and happy as hell and my life is great. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so you know, I don't know what the hell I'm
Speaker 2: talking about in that department, But.
Speaker 1: No, I think it. I think it really just depends.
Speaker 1: I mean I feel, you know, based on the way
Speaker 1: Maddie speaks about Matt. First of all, their names are
Speaker 1: very close to each other.
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, And that's a good sign.
Speaker 1: That's a great sign.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know, I think the way she speaks of him,
Speaker 1: I want to believe that they have something special. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: That's what I want to believe. So, you know, I
Speaker 1: hope they I hope he doesn't get lured in by
Speaker 1: the by the you know, by some weird circumstance in
Speaker 1: the middle of Austin. Yeah. I hope he stays true.
Speaker 2: If she makes that flashlight for him, I think it's
Speaker 2: you know, to do. Is that a thing you can
Speaker 2: can you do that? Can you make custom I'm sure?
Speaker 2: Can you make like custom molds of your penis or
Speaker 2: your vagina?
Speaker 1: I know custom build is very common, Yeah, vagina. I
Speaker 1: feel like that'd be tough to make it.
Speaker 2: Really. How did they make the penis ones? Do they
Speaker 2: like they have to like put some clay around your.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can like junk. They just send you like
Speaker 1: a tube and you just fun too, Yeah, you fuck
Speaker 1: it and then they you send it back. But that
Speaker 1: that shit is crazy to me because then they're just
Speaker 1: going to three D print your ship and but you
Speaker 1: give them like a mold of your.
Speaker 2: And then you know they're keeping that on file's exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how do you know someone working there isn't like
Speaker 1: I like.
Speaker 2: This, I'm gonna use this model.
Speaker 1: I want to I want to know some more.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't mind that if I if I like if
Speaker 2: I you know, was signed to the agreement to give
Speaker 2: away a mold of my penis and like some whoever
Speaker 2: that works at the company wants to, I don't care.
Speaker 1: You know, that's fair. I feel like, you know, it
Speaker 1: is pretty flattering if someone someone prints your penis for themselves,
Speaker 1: You're like, damn, shout out to you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just you know, I'm just happy to you know,
Speaker 2: help people. Yeah, in this universe. Yeah, uh okay, there
Speaker 2: was one. There was a call here that I have
Speaker 2: no idea how this is going to go. This might
Speaker 2: be something where we take it and we're immediately like, let's.
Speaker 1: Let's go.
Speaker 2: I'm too curious to not take this call.
Speaker 5: Hello, it's just a gek.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is Gary.
Speaker 5: This is Gary.
Speaker 2: What's going on with you?
Speaker 1: Gary?
Speaker 2: I'm here with Noel. We're Gecko's.
Speaker 5: Man. I am so excited to be talking to you
Speaker 5: two fellas. Let me tell you something.
Speaker 2: Well, well, listen, Gary, it says here that you have
Speaker 2: a pending domestic terrorism lawsuit against yourself and your cousin.
Speaker 5: This is very true. So it's actually myself, my cousin,
Speaker 5: and his girlfriend. Although I am the main subject of
Speaker 5: person of interest here, I should say I let me
Speaker 5: give give a little bit of a backstory before we
Speaker 5: get before we get too deep into this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would the mask.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't.
Speaker 5: I wouldn't say the Messic Terriors group. So all right,
Speaker 5: So this was a couple of years ago and we, uh,
Speaker 5: you know, we're chilling at his house, and we decided
Speaker 5: that we wanted to go smoke the Devil's lettuce. Now
Speaker 5: in my cousin's neighborhood, he has this neighborhood beach that
Speaker 5: was kind of the spot that everyone went, okay, So
Speaker 5: we decided we were going to walk down there. It
Speaker 5: was probably four or five in the afternoon, and I
Speaker 5: had a low grade explosives on my person. Now, when
Speaker 5: I say a low grade explosive, I'm talking like a
Speaker 5: soda can filled with tinfoil where you pour the toilet
Speaker 5: cleaner in and it blows up. So, you know, I'm
Speaker 5: walking down the street and my cousin and It's like,
Speaker 5: I dare you to throw that under someone's car, and
Speaker 5: I was like, okay, let's do it. And so I
Speaker 5: did it.
Speaker 2: And between real quick quick between you saying okay, let's
Speaker 2: do it and your cousin asking you to do it,
Speaker 2: did you have any thoughts?
Speaker 1: Was?
Speaker 2: Did any part of you mauld the situation over? Was
Speaker 2: it a fairly instant decision?
Speaker 5: Absolutely? No part of my being mould that thought over
Speaker 5: for a split second.
Speaker 1: Now, Gary, can I just ask you just a question?
Speaker 5: Absolutely?
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: Well are you white?
Speaker 5: I am as white as they come?
Speaker 1: All right? Yeah? No, go ahead continue continue, Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: you're fine, You're good.
Speaker 2: So what happened after you agreed to throw this soda
Speaker 2: can under a car?
Speaker 5: So, in lieu of, you know, the adrenaline of the situation,
Speaker 5: we neglected to see that the two homeowners were actually
Speaker 5: sitting on their front porch when I threw this said
Speaker 5: soda camp or soda bottle under their car.
Speaker 2: Okay, so this is a part Wait wait, so this
Speaker 2: is a parked car in.
Speaker 5: A driveway, Yeah, in my cousin's neighborhood.
Speaker 2: Okay. And when the owners saw that you were throwing
Speaker 2: this low grade explosive under the car? How did they react?
Speaker 5: So I actually didn't see them until it had gone off,
Speaker 5: because I was, you know, standing there waiting for the bang,
Speaker 5: and it happened, and I was, you know, giddy with excitement,
Speaker 5: and I turned to my right and they are starting
Speaker 5: to stream at scream at all three of us, very
Speaker 5: very intensely.
Speaker 2: Okay, did the did the soda can do anything to
Speaker 2: the car?
Speaker 5: So that's actually an unknown. I don't believe it did.
Speaker 1: Gary. I just have to say, you have the most
Speaker 1: like your voice sounds like you'd be a member of
Speaker 1: a yacht club. But what you're describing are like a
Speaker 1: unibomber activities. So I'm just I'm trying to picture you.
Speaker 1: You know, You're just you're you're a bit of a
Speaker 1: bit of a wolf in sheep's clothing right now.
Speaker 2: Can you actually, just like super brief, describe what you
Speaker 2: look like.
Speaker 5: I am probably the most average looking white male that
Speaker 5: has ever called into the show, to be completely honest
Speaker 5: with you. Brown hair, brown eyes, five ten, average build,
Speaker 5: So I'm basically describing Noel Miller to.
Speaker 1: A t uh. I wouldn't say that.
Speaker 2: Okay, fair enough, Gary, tell us more about how you
Speaker 2: got eventually, when did this turn into a domestic terrorism lawsuit?
Speaker 2: From your sitting in front of the the this person's house.
Speaker 5: Right. So, after this happened, after the bang and the
Speaker 5: screaming ensued, we just we ran. We ran for our
Speaker 5: lives down to the smoke spot. And we're at the
Speaker 5: spot for i'd say about an hour and a half,
Speaker 5: just hanging out. And to be completely honest with you,
Speaker 5: it didn't really cross my mind as to what happened,
Speaker 5: you know, because at this point we had smoked quite
Speaker 5: a bit, and it just it was never a thought
Speaker 5: that was reminiscent in my head. So we decided to
Speaker 5: head back up to the house. And as we're walking back,
Speaker 5: and this is where it got. This is where we
Speaker 5: made some horrible decisions. We took the same exact route
Speaker 5: that we threw the bott sorry I threw the bottle.
Speaker 5: We took that route back home. So as we're walking up.
Speaker 2: It's very nice of you, by the way, to Clare
Speaker 2: to like single yourself out just in case the courts
Speaker 2: use this stream for evidence.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, continue.
Speaker 5: Thank you. I have to, I have to make it known.
Speaker 5: So we're walking back and there is now three County
Speaker 5: police cars outside of the home.
Speaker 1: M hm.
Speaker 5: And still still it's not registering with any any three
Speaker 5: of us that this may in fact be because of
Speaker 5: the bottle that I threw. And you know, so we're
Speaker 5: we're still walking on our merry way and just not
Speaker 5: paying any mind to it. So we get up towards
Speaker 5: the vehicles and I'd say, what four or five police
Speaker 5: officers h get out of their vehicles and run up
Speaker 5: to us with their weapons drawn. And at this point
Speaker 5: is pretty much where I shit myself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how stoned are you? By the way, when the
Speaker 2: guy's appointing.
Speaker 1: Us at you.
Speaker 5: I gotta tell you, man, I gotta tell you, this
Speaker 5: was probably one of the most stone I had ever been.
Speaker 5: When I say, we were down at that smoke spot
Speaker 5: for an hour and a half. We were smoking for
Speaker 5: that hour and a half straight. I was, I was,
Speaker 5: I was blazed. There's no doubt about that.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Okay, So they take you, they take you
Speaker 2: into custody, I assume, right.
Speaker 5: So, no, that's the thing. They did not take me
Speaker 5: into any of us into custody right away. So they
Speaker 5: approached us and at this point, we're we're looking like
Speaker 5: the neighborhood bums. We are all three wearing pajama pants
Speaker 5: and like some random T shirt, you know, walking about,
Speaker 5: and so they say, you guys fit the description of
Speaker 5: three people who have just come through here and we
Speaker 5: received a call regarding an explosive going off under a
Speaker 5: homeowner's vehicle. And what's what's your first instinct? That's you know, deny, deny, deny,
Speaker 5: it never happened. That wasn't us. But the police officer
Speaker 5: then proceeds to describe us to a t down to
Speaker 5: the hair color and the exact prints on our shirts.
Speaker 5: So after trying to lie for about two minutes, you know,
Speaker 5: we we fessed up probably the quickest interrogation known to man.
Speaker 5: Now still at this point we had yet to be
Speaker 5: taken into custody, and so the.
Speaker 2: Now any questions up until this play anything unsolved boggling
Speaker 2: in your mind about any of this?
Speaker 1: No, I mean, Gary, I just I assume your dad
Speaker 1: makes more than like one hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 1: That would be my guess.
Speaker 2: What's what's the uh? You would be what's the answer
Speaker 2: to that?
Speaker 5: So you are actually absolutely wrong in that sense. My
Speaker 5: dad is unemployed, he was a uh, he is a.
Speaker 5: I don't even I don't want to say retired because
Speaker 5: he got fired. He was he was the manager of
Speaker 5: a porta potty company.
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, waste management makes money, man, I don't hate
Speaker 1: on that. This is what I'm saying, is so confusing
Speaker 1: about you. Man. You speak and behave like someone with
Speaker 1: a trust fund, but then you're doing toothless activities.
Speaker 5: Okay, so maybe this, maybe this can put it into perspective.
Speaker 5: Here my occupation, I'm a commercial electrician.
Speaker 1: Oh oh okay, all right, now I'm saying it the
Speaker 1: blue collar grit. I'm saying that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So so so it was any part of your I mean,
Speaker 2: this was this three years ago. You said, were you
Speaker 2: minor when this happened?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: I was, okay, and this is still like weighing down
Speaker 2: upon you. Were you tried as a domestic terrorist?
Speaker 5: No, I never was. That's the thing, because they actually
Speaker 5: said that it was a it was a smoke bomb.
Speaker 5: The homeowner said that it was a smoke bomb to
Speaker 5: the police officers.
Speaker 2: Ah okay, so that's cool.
Speaker 5: So that's the thing. The police officer actually had me
Speaker 5: talk to the homeowner, you know, in my very intoxicated state,
Speaker 5: and I had to explain what my reasoning was for
Speaker 5: throwing this smoke bomb under their vehicle?
Speaker 1: Gary, I at a respect for your future existence. Let
Speaker 1: me just stop you right here, mm hmm, and just say, listen,
Speaker 1: you got away with this one, and just you know,
Speaker 1: continue to live your life, not fucking around with smoke
Speaker 1: bombs anymore, you know, do.
Speaker 2: You like like to to? But but you know to
Speaker 2: that point, Gary, now that you've told us this, you
Speaker 2: got away with it. You're living your life now, you're
Speaker 2: a commercial electrician. Things I can hear in your voice,
Speaker 2: things are okay for you. Did you learn anything from
Speaker 2: this experience that you can take away?
Speaker 5: I absolutely did, and that was to not mess around
Speaker 5: with smoke bombs.
Speaker 2: That is a great it's a great lesson lesson.
Speaker 1: It's a great lesson.
Speaker 2: Learn was was I wanted those? Really? Before we go?
Speaker 2: Your cousin, your cousin and your cousin's what is it friend?
Speaker 2: There's three of you, right, the two the two other
Speaker 2: people did they get did they get fucked that all
Speaker 2: by any of this stuff? Or are they doing okay too?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 5: No, they no, no repercussion. And actually my cousin is
Speaker 5: currently a commercial electrician with me.
Speaker 1: Got it.
Speaker 2: It's the smoke bomb to commercial Electrician pipeline.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's a good one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, Gary, thank you for sharing that with us.
Speaker 2: I feel like this is a fable, right, what is
Speaker 2: it a parable? What's the it's the word for a
Speaker 2: story where there's an inherent lesson to it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm talking about, but Gary's anything
Speaker 2: else I want to say to me or Noela or
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 5: I just wanted to say, I love you guys, and
Speaker 5: Ghek forever.
Speaker 1: Appreciate you. Gary.
Speaker 2: Thanks, Gary, have a good one, GAK forever.
Speaker 1: You know that he has such a just an upper
Speaker 1: class fright freanck guy voice. It was so did you
Speaker 1: hear it? Like a little bit?
Speaker 2: Let me to that after hearing him say that he
Speaker 2: learned something, do you really think he learned something? What
Speaker 2: do you think he really learned? Because he said he
Speaker 2: didn't learn but like more deeper than that, what do
Speaker 2: you think he learned?
Speaker 1: I think he learned. I think the real words that
Speaker 1: came to his mind when he blew that car up
Speaker 1: and he sort of got away with it was oh shit,
Speaker 1: I definitely need to not fuck around as much. I
Speaker 1: think that's what.
Speaker 2: Okay, and that's that is legitimately learning something, and he that, Yeah,
Speaker 2: he definitely kind of had it go off in his
Speaker 2: mind exactly like that.
Speaker 1: And not to make it about this, but I just
Speaker 1: felt like it was a very very white gy thing
Speaker 1: to call into a public show.
Speaker 2: He did say the case was pending. I want to
Speaker 2: to get more into where it stood now, but.
Speaker 1: I for sure thought he, you know, was like a
Speaker 1: like a privileged kid. That's what that's just that behavior
Speaker 1: just to call in and just like I committed a
Speaker 1: crime once, you know. But he's an electrician. He comes
Speaker 1: from that working class, so I feel like his dad
Speaker 1: would be, you know, unibomber enough to be like, Gary,
Speaker 1: don't ever do that again. Don't don't incriminate yourself, don't
Speaker 1: talk about this ever again. Keep it to yourself. Take
Speaker 1: it to the grave.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I mean, this is like it's a
Speaker 2: quasi anonymous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's true. Yeah, we don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean, how many other people are making h bombs
Speaker 2: out of soda cans? I'm throwing them under old ladies' cars.
Speaker 2: Hopefully not that many.
Speaker 1: I hope, yeah, we hope.
Speaker 2: It is funny to think that this like podcast would
Speaker 2: be used as evidence. Yeah, in a fucking court us
Speaker 2: in the courtroom people, a whole jury of people watching
Speaker 2: him tell that story.
Speaker 1: And then so one on the jury is like, is
Speaker 1: that Lyle?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, like they call us him to testify, show
Speaker 2: up in.
Speaker 1: Suits, Like the suits weren't necessarily Like what are you
Speaker 1: talking about?
Speaker 2: That's how I I need to get back into where
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 1: This is who we are. Man.
Speaker 2: Just don't do you have you ever growing up? Did
Speaker 2: you ever get into not pipe bomb level, but did
Speaker 2: you ever get into trouble of any kind?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: No, I mean you know, I definitely had tons of
Speaker 1: friends who built like potato guns and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: I think one of the funniest things that happened to
Speaker 1: me and a kid and his brother used to mess
Speaker 1: around a butane. Yeah yeah, and we kind of realized
Speaker 1: that butane would had like a self sustaining burn, Like
Speaker 1: obviously a fire can catch, but basically my boy at
Speaker 1: the time he would spray buttane on the top of
Speaker 1: his hoodie. Oh man, and then he lighted on fire
Speaker 1: and then he just pretend like nothing was going on
Speaker 1: with him.
Speaker 2: That's kind of a funny bit though, Yeah, to show
Speaker 2: up with the show with your head on fire and
Speaker 2: be like, what's up, guys? What?
Speaker 1: Yeah, looking like like fucking hairy from home alone too,
Speaker 1: just but you know, we would walk down this hill
Speaker 1: that we lived near, and he would spray it on
Speaker 1: his head and he just light it on fire, and I,
Speaker 1: me and his brother would just watch it cackling, and
Speaker 1: people would drive by and their necks would break, like
Speaker 1: what is going on with this kid? Or annoyingly and
Speaker 1: dangerously he would just spray it on us while we
Speaker 1: were walking and then just light us on fire, and
Speaker 1: we had no idea.
Speaker 2: He let on fire without you're knowing, yeah.
Speaker 1: Which is psychotic behavior, but he was convinced that nothing
Speaker 1: bad could happen from it.
Speaker 2: I was also a little bit into fire when I
Speaker 2: when I discovered that you could take acts or not
Speaker 2: even like any hair spray yeah, and a lighter yeah,
Speaker 2: and it would make a flame thrower. Yeah, I was.
Speaker 2: I was a little too into that. And I wouldn't
Speaker 2: do it like a w because it would scare me.
Speaker 2: Would do it for like a second well yeah, like
Speaker 2: I was like discovering my own like powers.
Speaker 1: Would you only ever do it like in the privacy
Speaker 1: of your own.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would do it. I wouldn't like go into
Speaker 2: public and start terrorizing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, fucking do you have kids like that in high
Speaker 1: school that would do that? Ship?
Speaker 2: I wasn't. The people I was friends with in high school,
Speaker 2: I wouldn't. We were mischievous, but not in any sort
Speaker 2: of violent way. Yeah, you know, but I did have
Speaker 2: I had like a obsession with fire at some point,
Speaker 2: like lighting fireworks, and I would keep a lighter to
Speaker 2: the pocket.
Speaker 1: Was like the biggest thing you lit on fire. You think,
Speaker 1: Oh man, you're just like, uh, just the pentagon.
Speaker 2: No, I don't have anything cool man, It's like sticks,
Speaker 2: pieces of paper. Yeahs oh you know, my own, like
Speaker 2: my own like I would I would like light my
Speaker 2: hair on Oh yeah, like my hair hair, but like
Speaker 2: my arm hair.
Speaker 1: Yeah you ever do that? I had friends that would
Speaker 1: do that then. Yeah, that thought that was like super funny,
Speaker 1: and I was thinking, like, dude, I couldn't relate. You know,
Speaker 1: I had exema, so I was trying to keep as
Speaker 1: much moisture on my skin as possible. So when I
Speaker 1: watch kids do that, I'm like, you take that, You
Speaker 1: take your skin for granted, Man, what.
Speaker 2: Do you what do you think Utane your your butane
Speaker 2: friend is doing now? Maybe you lost out with him. Uh?
Speaker 1: Last I heard he's married. He's good. Yeah, I'm sure
Speaker 1: he's solid.
Speaker 2: Do you think when the kids are asleep and the
Speaker 2: wife is asleep, he goes down into the basement and
Speaker 2: lights ship on fire?
Speaker 1: You know, I wouldn't put it past him to do
Speaker 1: it in front of the kid. He had a good
Speaker 1: sense of humor.
Speaker 2: You're ever gonna have kids?
Speaker 1: I think about it, man, I'm just not sure. I'm
Speaker 1: kind of in a selfish point in my life where
Speaker 1: I like, I like the freedom I have soah, you know,
Speaker 1: but I think raising a kid is definitely it's cool.
Speaker 1: Like I got a little nephew that, okay, I see
Speaker 1: every once in a while. It's like a rental kid, Yeah, basically,
Speaker 1: and that's always that's always a good time, you know,
Speaker 1: even even if he's misbehaving, it's still kind of and
Speaker 1: it's like endearing in a way. Granted I don't have
Speaker 1: him twenty four to seven, so I'm sure I wouldn't
Speaker 1: view it the same way.
Speaker 2: I feel you on the Uh. I I don't know
Speaker 2: if I would, you like, I don't know if it's
Speaker 2: like a selfish thing. But I I think I think
Speaker 2: by the way, I think I've asked every single guest
Speaker 2: I've had on this podcast if they want to have kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but.
Speaker 2: What is it? I feel like you can do any
Speaker 2: you can kind of do anything, and you can do
Speaker 2: anything in life, come back from anything, except for having
Speaker 2: children or getting arrested.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: If those are the only two things I can think
Speaker 2: of where like there's no turning back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Ye're getting arrested.
Speaker 2: Is like we're like some crazy physical injury m m.
Speaker 1: Yeah, kids are I mean, in a way you could
Speaker 1: come back, you.
Speaker 2: Know, you you ditch the kid.
Speaker 1: If not like that, but I mean if you turn
Speaker 1: them into free agents, you know, put them up for adoption.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you could do that, because that's the thing is,
Speaker 2: that's the only you could ditch the kid. But no, no,
Speaker 2: that's not cool. It's not I was you know, I
Speaker 2: wasn't bringing that up as like, no, no, you know legitimate.
Speaker 2: I mean, but you could do it. Yeah, no, you
Speaker 2: shouldn't ditch your child.
Speaker 1: But in theory, you could put them out for free agency.
Speaker 2: Hey, you want to take a call? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Am I being too controversial? No?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, this is uh. I think these
Speaker 2: are important things to talk about with people because there's
Speaker 2: you know, people who are listening to this that you know,
Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe they're things.
Speaker 1: No, you know one of my one of my one
Speaker 1: of my close friends, we do a lot of work.
Speaker 1: He was adopted, and you know, he makes me think
Speaker 1: about adopting.
Speaker 2: Hello is this Jacob?
Speaker 4: Can you hear me?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Can know what's going on with you?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 4: Nothing much. I am in the parking lot at the gym,
Speaker 4: just finishing my workout.
Speaker 1: Okay, we're finishing the workout in the parking lot big time.
Speaker 4: No, I'm sitting in the parking lot hoping i'd get
Speaker 4: to talk to you guys. So I just finished my workout.
Speaker 1: Got it?
Speaker 2: Was it a good workout?
Speaker 8: You know what?
Speaker 4: I took like a week and a half off. I
Speaker 4: like hurt my lower back. So they won back of
Speaker 4: the gym.
Speaker 1: How'd you heard the how you heard the loan?
Speaker 4: Just turned thirty and I dude, I feel like when
Speaker 4: you turn thirty, your body's nose and it just will
Speaker 4: bite back for like the littlest things. So I don't
Speaker 4: even know what happened. I might have lifted something wrong
Speaker 4: at work or at the gym, slept wrong, caught that down,
Speaker 4: watched TV wrong. Yeah, literally, just king.
Speaker 2: Well, Jacob, is there anything in particular you want to
Speaker 2: talk about today?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I wanted to talk about I guess the
Speaker 4: kink that I have. Maybe I'm a fetish twink SI right,
Speaker 4: I am addicted to sleeping with married straight men, and
Speaker 4: I want some opinions on it because I feel like
Speaker 4: it's a bit controversial. I feel like sometimes I feel
Speaker 4: bad about it, but other times I don't, especially not
Speaker 4: in the moment. Of course, it's also a little bit
Speaker 4: it can be seen as like homophobic. I guess you
Speaker 4: could say I don't really sleep as other gay men.
Speaker 4: I seem to prefer sleeping with men who identify as
Speaker 4: straight men. Periods.
Speaker 2: You you you say you you almost exclusively sleep with
Speaker 2: men who identify a.
Speaker 4: Straight almost exclusively. Yeah?
Speaker 1: And is it?
Speaker 2: Is it you almost exclusively identify with men who identify
Speaker 2: straight or you almost exclusively sleep with married men who
Speaker 2: identify a straight.
Speaker 4: So open minded in that sense. But if they're married, man,
Speaker 4: I don't really care if I find them attractive. It's
Speaker 4: like an instant yes for me, you know.
Speaker 2: So the mayor, the fact that they're married makes them
Speaker 2: more attractive.
Speaker 4: To you just fucking gets me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, why can can you explain why that is?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I have no clue. That's I'm trying to pick my
Speaker 4: own brain right now because I couldn't tell you it.
Speaker 4: Part of it.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just picturing a married this guy
Speaker 1: head the whole time talking to us Jacobs, just getting
Speaker 1: ahead parking lot, and he's like, do you have to
Speaker 1: take this call right now?
Speaker 4: I've had It's gotten to the point where they've knuck
Speaker 4: me through their garages, into their guest bedrooms, whilestairs.
Speaker 2: No, okay, But when you're when you're doing that, are
Speaker 2: you not like, okay, when you're doing something like that
Speaker 2: in your mind, are you not lying? What the fuck
Speaker 2: is going to happen? If like, like you are entering,
Speaker 2: you're just you're not just entering into a physical location,
Speaker 2: You're entering into someone's whole ass life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're behind enemy lines, man.
Speaker 2: What's going through your mind when you're in a situation.
Speaker 4: I yeah, certain situations like that. I'm not thinking with
Speaker 4: my head, you know, I'm thinking with my dick.
Speaker 1: So technically your head exciting for me.
Speaker 4: The other one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's okay, okay, let me let me say this,
Speaker 1: let me say two days.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you is it that that's a crazy thing because
Speaker 1: one if if their lady wakes up, you know, like
Speaker 1: that's just a wild situation to be in. Two is
Speaker 1: it that you do you enjoy the like sort of
Speaker 1: the power of it. Do you get a rise out
Speaker 1: of it knowing that, like you are somebody's secret?
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: Maybe I my parents growing up, My father was a
Speaker 4: big cheater, and I never they understood why he did
Speaker 4: the things he did. So there's a part of me that, like,
Speaker 4: I don't know, probably wants to find out the reasons
Speaker 4: why people do those things.
Speaker 1: You know, did it hurt you that your dad would
Speaker 1: cheat on your mom?
Speaker 4: Uh? Yeah, I guess so, I mean as much as
Speaker 4: it or any kids these days, not so much, like
Speaker 4: not a big deal.
Speaker 1: But do do you keep in touch with Are your
Speaker 1: parents still together? And do you keep in touch with
Speaker 1: your dad?
Speaker 4: They're still together?
Speaker 8: Yes?
Speaker 4: Are they happy? Probably not.
Speaker 5: My dad.
Speaker 4: I have a better relationship with him now than I
Speaker 4: did growing up. Me and my daughter are call's cool.
Speaker 1: Does he still cheat?
Speaker 4: Probably couldn't tell you. They're fifty mid fifties. So I mean,
Speaker 4: I'm not sure, have.
Speaker 1: You always been this way or is this a recent thing?
Speaker 1: I forget, so.
Speaker 4: I would say it was more of a recent thing.
Speaker 4: So I am in a relationship, an open relationship, I'll
Speaker 4: say that. So my partner and I have been open
Speaker 4: for three four years. That's three years.
Speaker 1: And that's a crazy thing because I just real quick,
Speaker 1: I want to carry out. I want to caveat because
Speaker 1: there are probably some straight people in the chat that
Speaker 1: are thinking, like, man, what the fuck? And it should
Speaker 1: be said that at least the gay man, I know,
Speaker 1: the ability to compartmentalize is crazy. They can just like
Speaker 1: you know, the gay dudes, they just oh yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: just go mack. This guy in the club means nothing
Speaker 1: to me. It's savage. Anyways, continue, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: No, that's a great point. I feel like open relationships
Speaker 4: in the gay world are pretty common because men just
Speaker 4: have like this. I mean, I don't want to.
Speaker 1: No, I think you're hitting on something that's no. No.
Speaker 1: I think it's a tough and dangerous facet of the
Speaker 1: traditional or like traditional male psychology is. I think we
Speaker 1: have a dangerous ability to shut off our feelings and
Speaker 1: and so I'm just wondering if there's an element of
Speaker 1: that here that's enabling you to continue doing these things,
Speaker 1: because maybe there's something deeper that you're not acknowledging, but
Speaker 1: you're kind of dealing with it in this way.
Speaker 2: Hmmm, does that can can you think of anything that
Speaker 2: that that that might be? Jacob, Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I didn't really grow up mid twenties.
Speaker 8: Uh.
Speaker 4: I didn't really explore my sexuality the way that I'm
Speaker 4: doing now. This goes from my partner. We kind of
Speaker 4: grew up with the gay stigma. I guess you can
Speaker 4: say the STDs. I mean I have had a fair
Speaker 4: share of STDs, so I mean that is common. But
Speaker 4: like HIV scare and just being the person that our
Speaker 4: parents were afraid of, it's so our early twenties.
Speaker 2: So Jacob, you know, what are you? What are you
Speaker 2: wrestling with here? Are you? Are you wrestling with the
Speaker 2: morality of you sleeping with married men? Are you wrestling
Speaker 2: with why you have this impulse? Like what if you
Speaker 2: have to say that? What is the crux of your
Speaker 2: issue with everything going on with you?
Speaker 4: It's definitely a morality thing, because afterwards, I do kind
Speaker 4: of feel like shit. And I do think about their
Speaker 4: kids that are probably sleeping upstairs, or you know, their
Speaker 4: partners that are oblivious to the whole situation, and I
Speaker 4: just feel like shit, you know, but in the moment,
Speaker 4: and it's always in the moment that I just I
Speaker 4: don't give a fuck, you know, It's.
Speaker 1: Just Jacob, do you feel at any point in your
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say daily life, but do you
Speaker 1: ever have moments where you still struggle to accept your
Speaker 1: own sexual identity and preference and things of that nature.
Speaker 4: No, I don't think so. I'm a I think I'm
Speaker 4: a proud team man, and I I love the gay culture.
Speaker 4: I love everything about it.
Speaker 1: But that's good.
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't really I don't know. I just sexually,
Speaker 4: when it comes to like getting off, I don't really
Speaker 4: have that connection with other gay men. And I asked
Speaker 4: myself if it's because I don't want any kind of
Speaker 4: ties to be held with these men because I am
Speaker 4: in a relations happy relationship, So I I kind of
Speaker 4: I'm not sure if that plays a factor in it
Speaker 4: as well.
Speaker 2: Let me throw this one on you. Have you been
Speaker 2: to a real therapist and talk to them about why
Speaker 2: you have the compulsions.
Speaker 4: I have not. I have not. I've never really expressed
Speaker 4: myself like this, even to my partner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that's another question. Have you does your partner?
Speaker 1: Now? Hey, first, I want to say, Jacob, we appreciate
Speaker 1: you taking this leap because it's a very public way
Speaker 1: to address these deeper thoughts you have. And so no,
Speaker 1: I'm not, I'm not. I'm not even sarcastic. Now, you're
Speaker 1: fine you're feeling because I, as a person, i'd rather
Speaker 1: you get this out in it's sort of a comedic
Speaker 1: tongue in cheek way, and if this opens the door
Speaker 1: for you to have deeper discussions. Here's here's the thing,
Speaker 1: bro this you know, I feel like listening to you,
Speaker 1: you really feel conflicted about this. So I think you're
Speaker 1: you're taking the right steps, and I think it's it'd
Speaker 1: be good for you. I think what I was about
Speaker 1: to say, sorry, I mean because I think it'd be
Speaker 1: great for you to, you know, uh, consider a licensed
Speaker 1: therapist and and dig into this because if you feel
Speaker 1: some kind of way like you're acting out of your
Speaker 1: own I don't know what the person you envision yourself being.
Speaker 1: I think you're you're you're totally right to look after
Speaker 1: yourself and go, hey, you know what, I'm doing something
Speaker 1: that I don't know if I'm too proud of this anymore.
Speaker 1: And it's a good thing to work out, man.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Jacob. Is there anything else you want to
Speaker 2: say to the people of the computer before we go,
Speaker 2: or to me or Noel or anything else? Do you
Speaker 2: want to say about the situation that you feel like
Speaker 2: we didn't get to or anything like that?
Speaker 4: Oh, I think we covered all the bases. That was
Speaker 4: the fast one.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 4: Big fans of both of y'all tell you, Noel, my
Speaker 4: partner has a huge crush on you, damn. So it's
Speaker 4: kind of like a full circle moment in a lot
Speaker 4: of ways.
Speaker 1: Well, look, Jacob, everybody out there, just what's up?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I know again, we appreciate you, tell your partner said,
Speaker 1: I appreciate the love. I appreciate the love for you too, Bro,
Speaker 1: Me and law want to see you succeed, man, So sir,
Speaker 1: so come away from this conversation, uh thinking about that
Speaker 1: next step and uh, you know, ultimately we want to
Speaker 1: see you happy. Man. So dude, you gotta do to
Speaker 1: to to find that, you know.
Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing. Thank care man, you get some protein,
Speaker 2: you know, with that call, I have dode, I have
Speaker 2: these thoughts and that, and I get I get calls
Speaker 2: like that a lot, where like I think, you know,
Speaker 2: I think maybe it is the possibility that people listening
Speaker 2: or anything like that, like wanted a response that's like
Speaker 2: you know, more like ragging on like what you do,
Speaker 2: what you're like, what you're doing is fucked up and
Speaker 2: like all that stuff. And I wonder because I think
Speaker 2: my ultimate like thing with these calls is like I'm thinking, one,
Speaker 2: I don't like to present myself as any kind of
Speaker 2: moral authority true of any kind, because like, you know whatever.
Speaker 2: But also it's like, if if the goal is to
Speaker 2: talk through this thing with this guy, like and the
Speaker 2: goal is to help this guy, what what is the
Speaker 2: best way to go about it? And you know, genuinely
Speaker 2: like wrestling with this in my brain is like, is
Speaker 2: is it productive to be like what you're doing is
Speaker 2: fucked up, you know you're morally wrong, or is it
Speaker 2: better to go through it with him in an objective
Speaker 2: way kind of like what we did.
Speaker 1: No, I think I think you're totally I mean, you're
Speaker 1: totally right to reflect on it. But I think it's
Speaker 1: creating that space for people to talk. I think it's
Speaker 1: I think when you rag on people, that's when they
Speaker 1: keep their cards close. Totally, totally that that motivate.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: The biggest thing I heard from the guy is he's
Speaker 1: turning off his feelings. You know, he's like, oh in
Speaker 1: the moment and I think about it, which you could say,
Speaker 1: you know, is because you're horny, fair sure, But if
Speaker 1: he is getting his nut off, and then the second
Speaker 1: that happens, he's got that guilt that horrific, that same
Speaker 1: feeling when you masturbate to like some just porn like
Speaker 1: that you are not proud of. You're like, man, what
Speaker 1: am I doing? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that must be some like the the
Speaker 2: amount of horniness that he is feeling to get himself
Speaker 2: into a suburban house with the wife and the kids
Speaker 2: must be uh, you know, just some astronomical animalistic amount.
Speaker 1: Oh, bro, I mean that that's a.
Speaker 2: That's a terrifying situation to place yourself.
Speaker 1: In, bro, to to keep it up in a suburban
Speaker 1: home with a with a family upstairs, that is that
Speaker 1: is cataclysmic levels of horning. You know, Like that's a
Speaker 1: great word for that, just absurd power going through his body,
Speaker 1: like my family's upstairs, and he's like, I don't care.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's that's probably part of it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's probably part of the adrenaline that you know, the
Speaker 2: adrenaline from that is like going through a machine in
Speaker 2: his body and transmuting to make his penis you know,
Speaker 2: stronger and whatnot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I mean, I asked him how he
Speaker 1: felt about his own identity because I think it'd be
Speaker 1: a sad thing if he was maybe doing that, because
Speaker 1: maybe he feels some kind of shame but doesn't sound
Speaker 1: that way. So I think it's deeper. Is above our
Speaker 1: pay grade for sure.
Speaker 2: Definitely, I'm glad. I'm glad that you know, he's see
Speaker 2: I'm glad at least that he seemed like he he
Speaker 2: wants to guide himself towards better.
Speaker 1: Married men's.
Speaker 2: Away from married men's whatever and into uh, you know,
Speaker 2: better better for him. So that's also why I don't
Speaker 2: you know, we were talking about like whether should we
Speaker 2: rag on people. I never like, you know, anyone who's like,
Speaker 2: you know, he he wants to change, He wants to change,
Speaker 2: calling in to talk about how he wants to change,
Speaker 2: and I can respond, you know, why would I do that.
Speaker 1: I'm a little sad because I'm not sad, but I
Speaker 1: kind of wish we interviewed him a little bit, like
Speaker 1: you know what type of suburban dad has the best bussy?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Who?
Speaker 1: Like, like who of these suburban dads? Like is actually
Speaker 1: really a really convincing gay guy in the bed?
Speaker 2: And then like, yeah, like is there is does he
Speaker 2: witness a very sharp change from like who he observes
Speaker 2: these guys as when they are, you know, in public,
Speaker 2: and who they are you know, when they're with him. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like it's kind of interesting to talk about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, is he just piping down like little league baseball
Speaker 1: coaches and they're you know, they're all rooted out and
Speaker 1: crazy or actually baseball Lit League Baseball coaches when we
Speaker 1: rited out. But you know, these guys are used to
Speaker 1: talking shit. You know. They bring them in there and
Speaker 1: they say, you know, make me you're a little make
Speaker 1: me you're a little whatever you want me to be. Yeah,
Speaker 1: have your way with me, And Jacob goes, Okay.
Speaker 2: Well, I hope that Jacob can find can get his kicks.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, like what else, that's not what
Speaker 2: what that is not sleeping with straight married men could
Speaker 2: give Jacob a similar sense of adrenaline. And I was like,
Speaker 2: there's nothing. And then Jacob, but you should try go karting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, I was gonna say a little crack,
Speaker 1: but I can go karting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that you remember? Okay to sort of sort
Speaker 2: of do a loop here. Yeah, you know how in
Speaker 2: the very beginning of this we were like, is there
Speaker 2: you know people, is there a version of a crack
Speaker 2: experience that changes someone's life for the better? Ye? This
Speaker 2: could be that maybe Jacob finds crack go karting and
Speaker 2: he's like that you know, depressing, shameful thing I had
Speaker 2: when I was going around having sex with all these
Speaker 2: married men. Yeah, totally gone. Now my life is all
Speaker 2: about crack and go karting, and I've never been happier.
Speaker 2: And my partner does it with me too, and I
Speaker 2: live this well balanced, amazing life all thanks to crack.
Speaker 1: Damn damn. Now now I'm just I'm thinking of all
Speaker 1: the questions we should have asked him, like has he
Speaker 1: ever been like a pastor? You know? Damn it, Jacob,
Speaker 1: if you're out there, leave some notes in the chat.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is a great call.
Speaker 1: Let's take let's hit it. Let's hit it.
Speaker 2: Talk to crazy holy ship.
Speaker 8: Oh my god?
Speaker 3: Wait is this you guys?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What's going on?
Speaker 1: Dude? No, this is actually your student loans debt collector. Uh,
Speaker 1: it's not a pay up?
Speaker 2: Yeah, can you give us more money?
Speaker 3: Oh my god?
Speaker 8: Wait, I can't believe I'm on guys.
Speaker 1: You can split the payment between what's your venomo?
Speaker 2: Uh? At I forgot about?
Speaker 1: Yeah it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. We'll we'll send it later. No,
Speaker 1: what's going on?
Speaker 2: We'll send you an invoice. I'm Gracie. Thanks for calling
Speaker 2: into the Gecko show man. What's haw's life going for you?
Speaker 8: It's going pretty good.
Speaker 3: I've been trying to call for like literally six months,
Speaker 3: so I'm like so shocked right now.
Speaker 2: How you doing, man?
Speaker 1: Fantastic? How are you doing? Man?
Speaker 2: I'm feeling good. I just peed. We probably cut the
Speaker 2: part of me peeing out of the podcast, but I
Speaker 2: feel really good after ipe. I feel like I'm It's
Speaker 2: like a nice mental reset. But that's enough about me peeing.
Speaker 1: Gracie.
Speaker 2: There's some things here that you wrote down that you
Speaker 2: wanted to talk about, but I'd rather hear them out
Speaker 2: of your voice than mine.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Okay, So about a month ago, I went and
Speaker 3: I got three tattoos. One of them is on my
Speaker 3: arm and it's a cherub. So it was like stupid.
Speaker 3: So basically it's like naked.
Speaker 1: And child's penis on your arm is what you're saying.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's like a really terrible way to put it,
Speaker 3: but essentially, Yeah, So they keep telling me that it
Speaker 3: has a child. I've heard this from literally like five
Speaker 3: different different people, and I'm like so self conscious about it.
Speaker 7: I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3: Because it's like visible and I don't want to be
Speaker 3: like walking around in public and somebody's like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: look at the child on that girl's arm. That's embarrassing.
Speaker 2: So so you're you're saying you're very self conscious about
Speaker 2: this penis, and it says you're you're considering getting it removed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I am all in all serious.
Speaker 2: What compelled you to get it in the first place? Like,
Speaker 2: what was appealing to you about the cupid with the penis?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Was it was? It was it.
Speaker 3: A penis could be that small, it was, So it
Speaker 3: was nothing about the penis that was appealing. It was
Speaker 3: about like the message of.
Speaker 1: The tax Oh so circumcised. Sorry sorry sorry continue continue
Speaker 1: you continue, Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm being smartest.
Speaker 3: Good, No, you're all good. Like the tattoo is special
Speaker 3: to me, and so like when my tattoo artists is
Speaker 3: sketching it up, like I didn't even notice that the
Speaker 3: child was there, Like it was just stupid, you know,
Speaker 3: I didn't think about that, and I didn't think about
Speaker 3: how other people would look at it. So, yeah, I
Speaker 3: don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: What couldn't you cover over the leaf or something? You know?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you're thinking about getting it fully removed. But uh,
Speaker 2: you bring up a great point, man, I mean if
Speaker 2: if if, like it seems like the penis is has
Speaker 2: become a big thing. It's the first thing that people
Speaker 2: are noticing about it. You know, it's a point of
Speaker 2: self uh you know, consciousness for you do you don't
Speaker 2: have to get that you're talking about get the whole
Speaker 2: thing or moves. Why don't you just fix the penis?
Speaker 2: Why don't you have them draw over it with a leaf?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I reckon I could do that, but
Speaker 3: I don't know. Like my family, there's a less like
Speaker 3: my family and my boyfriend they're the main people who
Speaker 3: like have steff to say about it, and I feel
Speaker 3: like they're just never gonna like blive it down, like
Speaker 3: they're never gonna stop bringing it up. So I'm just like,
Speaker 3: should I just ge to remove like all together like
Speaker 3: it never existed?
Speaker 2: Okay, Well if we're going on, you know, listen, grace.
Speaker 2: So you don't want to be doing things just because
Speaker 2: your family and your whatever are are casting judgment upon you.
Speaker 2: I mean, how do you feel about the pena?
Speaker 1: Yeah, how do you feel about this child's penis that's
Speaker 1: on your arm?
Speaker 3: Well, when I thought it, right after it was tattooed,
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, well that's the thing, like, you know.
Speaker 8: There's a little penis there.
Speaker 3: But I didn't think it'd be a big deal to anybody.
Speaker 3: I've seen a lot of people with like making women's
Speaker 3: tattooed on their arm or other things like that. I mean,
Speaker 3: I guess I've never really seemed like a dick tattooed on.
Speaker 2: Somebody, but people, I don't know to think that people
Speaker 2: would not be I mean, people are like obsessed with
Speaker 2: talking about dicks and penises and stuff. I've seen dicks
Speaker 2: drawn on bathroom stalls across the nation. People are obsessive
Speaker 2: about you know, penises in you know, being in places
Speaker 2: and shit. So I you know, it is a thing
Speaker 2: that I think, you know, it makes sense that people
Speaker 2: are noticing.
Speaker 1: Personally, I think your boyfriend and your family are. They
Speaker 1: don't understand, like what kind of a cool person they know?
Speaker 1: If you fired up tender right now in your in
Speaker 1: your bio said I got a child's penis tattooed on
Speaker 1: my arm. Yeah, I mean, you know, I mean people
Speaker 1: gender irrelevant, We're just matched to be, like, I need
Speaker 1: to know more about you.
Speaker 2: You're considered putting that in the tender bio.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm I don't think I'm ever gonna get tender again.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm in a pretty serious relationship.
Speaker 1: Like, Okay, how long have you guys?
Speaker 3: And I feel like if I did, We've been together
Speaker 3: for a year and a half.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, and you're from where again? Just what state?
Speaker 3: I'm from North Carolina. I just moved from Minnesota literally
Speaker 3: a week ago.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, man, it's just so sweet to hear
Speaker 1: that you say I'm in a pretty serious relationship after
Speaker 1: a year and a half, and you have to understand
Speaker 1: you know, we're you know, in LA A year and
Speaker 1: a half is like three weeks. Really, I would say.
Speaker 2: Well, you've been in a ten year yeah, yeah, you're
Speaker 2: like from the you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, but no, I know, I respect that it's
Speaker 1: a very serious relationship for you, so you wouldn't even
Speaker 1: think about firing up tender. But what I'm saying is
Speaker 1: this is not a point of incompatibility. I just think that,
Speaker 1: you know, back to Lyle's point, if you like the tattoo,
Speaker 1: I think you can find a way to keep it
Speaker 1: that makes you happy.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I agree. I think that what the you know, the
Speaker 2: question of the penis on your arm is like is
Speaker 2: it is it an issue for you?
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know how I feel about it. I feel
Speaker 3: like I need to separate myself from like listening to
Speaker 3: what other people have to say about it and kind
Speaker 3: of figure out how I feel about it myself, because
Speaker 3: like I was psyched to get the tattoo, like I
Speaker 3: loved how it turned out, and then once everybody started
Speaker 3: like making comments about it, I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: did I make a mistake, Like did I not think
Speaker 3: it's through?
Speaker 2: Well? This is this is an opportunity for you, Gracie.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, to free yourself from the chains
Speaker 2: of the pions of other people and uh, you know,
Speaker 2: decide again. This is what I would say to you
Speaker 2: is really take some time. Yeah, really sit and look
Speaker 2: at to stare at your arm. Yeah, stare at this,
Speaker 2: uh this tattoo, and decide for yourself if this penis
Speaker 2: is a big deal for you, and if it's not,
Speaker 2: then then live life freely with the penis on your arm.
Speaker 2: And if it is, and get it covered up with
Speaker 2: a little leaf. You make sure the decision is of
Speaker 2: of yours, not of your your.
Speaker 1: Faces, you know. Yes, COOLi one hundred.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna take and think about it. I have
Speaker 3: a twelve hour drive tomorrow, so I'm gonna think about
Speaker 3: this the entire time I drive.
Speaker 2: If you stare at that thing long enough, it's gonna
Speaker 2: start talking to you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy how big of a deal it is
Speaker 1: in your life, considering how small it is.
Speaker 2: What if you like took like on this twelve hour drive.
Speaker 2: I don't know, if you're driving, it's kind of big?
Speaker 2: Is it kind of big?
Speaker 1: How big is it?
Speaker 3: Like? It takes up my entire forum?
Speaker 2: So that's why the whole thing, because.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, she's like the cherub is only in my elbow, but.
Speaker 2: Of the body.
Speaker 1: It was like, why don't you put that big?
Speaker 2: You know, I feel like over this twelve hour drive,
Speaker 2: Right over this twelve hour drive, you know, stare just
Speaker 2: stare at the tattoos, stare at stare at the cherub,
Speaker 2: and eventually maybe it'll start talking. Maybe you'll have maybe
Speaker 2: it'll come alive, right, they'll have a conversation with you,
Speaker 2: and maybe it'll say, Gracie, there's nothing I love more.
Speaker 2: It'll say one of two things. I'll say, Grace is
Speaker 2: something I love more than having my penis out for
Speaker 2: the world to see. And then please don't cover it up.
Speaker 2: You know, I feel pride. I want you to feel
Speaker 2: the same pride and you know, joy in in and
Speaker 2: my penis as I do when having it on your arm.
Speaker 2: Or it'll say, Gracie, why did you curse me with
Speaker 2: this constant, never ending attention towards my penis that I
Speaker 2: never asked for? Will you please cover me up, Gracie?
Speaker 2: And then you can make a decision from that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna do that, and I'm really
Speaker 3: gonna listen to see what he thinks.
Speaker 1: Gracie, let let's final question. You said you were stoked
Speaker 1: when you got this thing, all right, when you separate
Speaker 1: right now, like when you just look at the art,
Speaker 1: do you look at it and go, I like this.
Speaker 3: I do Like it's the exact like style I wanted
Speaker 3: and it turned out like even better than I thought
Speaker 3: it would.
Speaker 1: Gracie, let me say this. I don't think there's anything
Speaker 1: to be ashamed of because families spend thousands of dollars
Speaker 1: to visit a country full of statues with baby dicks. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's like that's like a prime revenue stream for Italy.
Speaker 1: There's all these grown men with baby penises and babies
Speaker 1: with penises exposed. So I think if anything this tattoo
Speaker 1: there is, there's much to stand on in the way of,
Speaker 1: you know, telling your people like, hey, I'm gonna keep
Speaker 1: this fucking baby dick on my arm because this art
Speaker 1: is sick.
Speaker 2: There's a stand that you could take there, Yeah, if
Speaker 2: it's if it's the stand you want to take.
Speaker 1: If it's the one you want to take, if you
Speaker 1: just you know, just on this drive tomorrow, just think
Speaker 1: about it. If you love it, because here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Having that art there and going to get it covered up.
Speaker 1: You may feel a piece of you die as that
Speaker 1: penis gets covered. You may feel a piece of you
Speaker 1: just giving in to what people want out of you.
Speaker 1: And that doesn't feel good either. So stand on stand
Speaker 1: on that. Yeah, if you want to keep it.
Speaker 2: Keep it, Mattie. Is there anything else I want to say?
Speaker 2: Too much, like to me, Noel or the people of
Speaker 2: the computer before we go.
Speaker 3: I just want to say thank you guys so much.
Speaker 3: While I started listening to you like in January, and
Speaker 3: I would just play the podcast all day at work,
Speaker 3: so I'm like super stoked to talk to you. Noel,
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I feel like I'm gonna learn
Speaker 3: about this and I really appreciate that from you guys.
Speaker 3: I also want to shout out my boyfriend. I love you, Coryland,
Speaker 3: even though you make fun of my baby's penis.
Speaker 2: Thank you very much for calling Gracey.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Bye, guys.
Speaker 2: Well we did it, Noel, we did two and a
Speaker 2: half minutes on baby penises. Yeah, twelve and a half minutes.
Speaker 1: That's crazy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what did any post call thoughts on that? No?
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean I just think it's so it's funny.
Speaker 1: You know, if if that if that baby dick was
Speaker 1: on was on her hard drive, she'd be in a
Speaker 1: much more precarious situation.
Speaker 2: But but it's it's it's okay because it's on her arm.
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This is this is what people
Speaker 6: miss about me on stream. They just get to hear
Speaker 6: me say all this. Dude, No, I mean you are
Speaker 6: I mean, you know, can we see the chat?
Speaker 1: Does he talking about this? I'm just curious.
Speaker 2: I was just kind of curious. But it is an
Speaker 2: interesting like double standard because it's true. If it were
Speaker 2: on a hard drive, that would be a horrible problem.
Speaker 1: It's fine, Yeah, we shouldn't put this out there because
Speaker 1: now we're gonna get a bunch of discord moderators tattooing
Speaker 1: really bad ship on their arms and they're like, no,
Speaker 1: it's art. It's art, man, No, that's art right there.
Speaker 2: There are no I mean there's people take trips to
Speaker 2: go to the Vatican and ship and at the I've
Speaker 2: been to that they have lots and lots of statues
Speaker 2: naked babies with the thicks hanging out.
Speaker 1: That's true. What's what's the famous one of like the
Speaker 1: little baby peing.
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't, I don't know. I just I
Speaker 2: don't know what. I don't know what to strategically look up,
Speaker 2: like what, yeah you google find that, but also not
Speaker 2: be on the list.
Speaker 1: I think it's type like famous baby peeing statue. It's small, Okay.
Speaker 2: Not his, but I think famous baby peeing statue is
Speaker 2: probably fine. Let's see what that results in famous baby peeing.
Speaker 2: The mannequin piss in Brussels. There it is, there, it is.
Speaker 2: See you're looking at it right now. Yeah, the mannequin piss.
Speaker 2: And what's crazy is famous statue.
Speaker 1: He's not even that large like the statue, it's very small.
Speaker 1: All people actually complain that they they make this uh
Speaker 1: something that they go see and then when they get
Speaker 1: there they think.
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, we can't don't. I don't have like
Speaker 2: the whatever to pull things up. But that's not a penis.
Speaker 2: That's a little hose.
Speaker 1: Yeah, straight up.
Speaker 2: That looks kind of weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the implication is there. Can we give you
Speaker 1: any tattoos? I don't, man, I thought about getting one
Speaker 1: this year, but I thought maybe it's too late. It's
Speaker 1: really corny.
Speaker 2: What else.
Speaker 1: I don't even want to say it, man, but it's
Speaker 1: gonna be like some fuck boy tattoo behind the ear.
Speaker 2: Well, you don't have to tell me if you don't
Speaker 2: want to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's gonna be real simple. But then I
Speaker 1: realized it felt I feel like it's too late. Okay,
Speaker 1: early thirties is a little bit late to start.
Speaker 2: Okay, what was was it? The fuck boy? I kind
Speaker 2: of want to know what it is. You don't have
Speaker 2: to tell me, but yeah, is it like, is it
Speaker 2: it's like a sincere thing?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay, yeah, it was going to be a sincere thing.
Speaker 2: Okay, is it like dedicated to a person?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 2: Keep asked me questions, but.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's not dedicated to a person. Chat's like,
Speaker 1: it's never too late. They all want me to get
Speaker 1: it and get blasted. Get I'm fucking blasted. Yeah nah,
Speaker 1: I was, Uh, it was it was just something, you know,
Speaker 1: something related to to to me personally. You give me
Speaker 1: a little bit deep.
Speaker 2: I My thing is that there's nothing, Say do you
Speaker 2: have any Well I don't have it because there's nothing
Speaker 2: I want to put on my body that I'm like,
Speaker 2: you know, there's nothing that I feel like maybe not nothing.
Speaker 2: There are only there are a small handful of things.
Speaker 2: Yeah where I'm like, I could reasonably see myself still
Speaker 2: identifying with this in sixty years. Yeah, but nothing. But
Speaker 2: even those small handful of things, they're not one hundred
Speaker 2: percent certain.
Speaker 1: You know what's interesting about that is the people that
Speaker 1: get like family on their forearm. Yeah, that tattoo actually
Speaker 1: makes the most sense. Yeah, it's one I would say,
Speaker 1: in like, in terms of theme and your life and whatever,
Speaker 1: family is actually something that you could believe in in
Speaker 1: sixty years, you know what I mean, rather than but but.
Speaker 2: So like, yeah, that's that's the thing is like, I'm
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure. You know, I have a great relationship
Speaker 2: with my family. I love my mom, love my sister,
Speaker 2: shout out to Chloe, I love my father, you know,
Speaker 2: great relationship with all of them. But I don't know
Speaker 2: what could happen six they could one of them, could
Speaker 2: you know?
Speaker 1: It's true?
Speaker 2: Which would really fuck me over. Yeah, and maybe maybe
Speaker 2: I know, maybe, and then maybe every time I see
Speaker 2: the family that I think, like, I don't think, I
Speaker 2: don't think that's going to I'm like almost I'm almost
Speaker 2: one hundred percent certain that that's not going to I'm
Speaker 2: basically one hundred percent certainly like nine nine point nine nine,
Speaker 2: but that point, you know, you just percent. I don't
Speaker 2: want to get that tattooed on my arms.
Speaker 1: That's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 2: I see people with I mean, some people don't give
Speaker 2: a fuck. They'll just and you know, I don't get
Speaker 2: what other people do. But like when I like, I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna get like master Shake on the ass, because
Speaker 2: actually that is that's among probably one of the things
Speaker 2: that like when I'm eighty, when I look in the
Speaker 2: mirror and if I saw master Shake on my ass,
Speaker 2: it'd be like, that's pretty funny.
Speaker 1: I think that's a good one. Man. I think you're
Speaker 1: sleeping on that one.
Speaker 2: Okay, maybe I'll get master Shake on Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's pretty solid. I think my fuck boy one is
Speaker 1: the one that it shouldn't do, because that's when I
Speaker 1: could wake up in the air and be like the
Speaker 1: hell I think you keep bringing it up. Yeah that's
Speaker 1: the third time.
Speaker 2: Now I won't ask you about it anymore if you
Speaker 2: want to, Yeah, no, it's it's yeah, No, I'm just
Speaker 2: gonna get a baby dig just now. That tattoo would
Speaker 2: be weird if if if if it was just the
Speaker 2: baby dick, then I think then I think she would
Speaker 2: have a serious problem.
Speaker 1: Hello.
Speaker 2: Hello, Uh is this Alex?
Speaker 8: Oh my gosh, it is Hi.
Speaker 2: What's going on with you?
Speaker 1: Alex?
Speaker 8: I'm kind of freaking out. Hold on, let me turn
Speaker 8: the stream off really quick. I didn't not think I was.
Speaker 2: I didn't think I would ever be sitting in this
Speaker 2: chair wearing the scackow costume next to you, Noel, also
Speaker 2: sitting in that chair where so where all of us
Speaker 2: are in situations equally, everyone watching this never thought they
Speaker 2: would be sitting where they are watching it. So you're you're, you're,
Speaker 2: you are in You're at home, You're at home with
Speaker 2: everyone else who never thought that they would be. What's
Speaker 2: going on with you? Alex?
Speaker 8: It's so nice. I'm just kind of hanging out. I've
Speaker 8: been watching the stream, just chilling it. It's my last
Speaker 8: day off, so just trying to make the most of it.
Speaker 2: What do you do?
Speaker 8: I work at Starbucks.
Speaker 1: So you've been dealing with the shittiest of people for
Speaker 1: the last however many years?
Speaker 8: Yeah, four years. It's it's brutal. It's been especially bad
Speaker 8: post code. Well, I guess we're not post COVID. But
Speaker 8: after COVID happened, people have just gotten very very mean.
Speaker 2: How how have you been coping with that?
Speaker 8: I mean, I don't know. I don't I don't know
Speaker 8: if I necessarily have to like cope with it. I
Speaker 8: think there are definitely frustrating moments where I'm like, damn,
Speaker 8: why do we even? Why don't even work here? If
Speaker 8: like people are the shitty? But I actually I really
Speaker 8: love my job. So it makes it a little bit
Speaker 8: easier when you can recognize that, like, people who are
Speaker 8: so mean to service workers usually have other things going
Speaker 8: on in their own lives, And I know that doesn't
Speaker 8: like dismiss it, but it's that's kind of the way
Speaker 8: I look at it. So it makes it less hard
Speaker 8: to deal with.
Speaker 2: I guess no, that's it's a beautiful that's a beautiful
Speaker 2: amount of empathy that you have right there too, to
Speaker 2: to be thinking like that. I admire that. So, Alex,
Speaker 2: you had the thing here that you wanted to talk about.
Speaker 2: Do you want to explain to.
Speaker 1: Us what it is?
Speaker 8: Yeah? I can explain. So I was calling in to
Speaker 8: talk to you guys about So this actually happened way
Speaker 8: back in like twenty fifteen, I have a friend in
Speaker 8: Michigan who I am like online friends with haven't met
Speaker 8: in person, and back in twenty fifteen, I actually kind
Speaker 8: of pulled, like, I guess, a prank on them, and
Speaker 8: I was able to convince them that I was needed
Speaker 8: from Catfish and someone had been using their pictures to
Speaker 8: catfish other people, and I just convinced them that they
Speaker 8: were on a whole episode of Catfish and the reason
Speaker 8: that their episode couldn't be aired was because they were
Speaker 8: a minor at the time, and so like in my head,
Speaker 8: it all made sense and it was all like strategically
Speaker 8: pieced together. And we're still friends to this day. But
Speaker 8: they still have no idea that it was a joke
Speaker 8: and that it wasn't real, and they literally still tell
Speaker 8: people about it.
Speaker 7: So why God.
Speaker 2: They never found out?
Speaker 8: Yeah, no, they never found out. They still think it's
Speaker 8: like totally legit. I've just never I don't have the
Speaker 8: heart to tell them that it was fake. I feel
Speaker 8: like I would feel really bad.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, damn. Yeah, to the graves with that one.
Speaker 1: That's my initial thought. To the grave, you think you think,
Speaker 1: you think she's too late. Man, just gotta let it.
Speaker 2: Just let him think Yeah, what what would be the
Speaker 2: reasons why she should tell I can't. I can't think
Speaker 2: of any like halling ones.
Speaker 8: Yeah, because I feel like it would just upset her
Speaker 8: if anything like like exactly you said, Like what do
Speaker 8: what comes out of that situation if I'm like, hey,
Speaker 8: remember seven years ago when I like did this thing? Like,
Speaker 8: I feel like you took an upset or if anything, But.
Speaker 1: I think I think the the So. So do you
Speaker 1: guys don't hang out in real life ever?
Speaker 5: Do you?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: She could.
Speaker 8: I live in Washington State. She lives in Michigan, so
Speaker 8: I never have to faith her.
Speaker 1: How do you guys know each other?
Speaker 8: We met online when we were younger. I think we
Speaker 8: met like on Instagram or something and we just became friends.
Speaker 1: What what was this because you guys were like running
Speaker 1: stand accounts, like what's the connection?
Speaker 8: Probably yeah, it was when I was like in like
Speaker 8: late middle school, early high school, so it was probably
Speaker 8: something like that. Yeah, we met on Instagram over some
Speaker 8: probably mutual like fandom thing at the time, like you said,
Speaker 8: and then just have stayed friends ever since.
Speaker 1: Listen, you're all respectfully, fandoms have made you all a
Speaker 1: little crazy. If you've participated in a fandom. It's it's
Speaker 1: affected your brain cells in ways that TikTok has not,
Speaker 1: And so I think it's fine. I think it's fine
Speaker 1: if your friend, you know, just has a little residual
Speaker 1: fandom craziness and she's like I was on an unaired
Speaker 1: episode of Cafete because like whatever.
Speaker 2: Hm, okay, So this was seven years ago, and I
Speaker 2: want to know from your perspective, From your perspective, like,
Speaker 2: how how much does your friend talk about this? Like
Speaker 2: what like how much space does this take up in
Speaker 2: their lives? A big thing for them because it happened
Speaker 2: seven years ago. I don't know, Like how often do
Speaker 2: you think they think about it? Do they think about
Speaker 2: it more than once a month?
Speaker 8: I mean, it's hard to say because I see them
Speaker 8: post about it maybe once a year, But that doesn't
Speaker 8: mean they don't talk about it like in real life
Speaker 8: with people they know. Because to me, this situation would
Speaker 8: be equivalent to like someone asking like, oh, what's like
Speaker 8: a fun fact about you or what's like something interesting
Speaker 8: that's happened.
Speaker 2: She's losing a fact when she's playing the circle games
Speaker 2: at the beginning of any like introductor, any summer campy
Speaker 2: thing would be taking that away from her. This is her,
Speaker 2: this is this is her truth? Two truths in a
Speaker 2: lie or played that game. Yeah, she's probably played that game.
Speaker 2: Just lied three times.
Speaker 1: It's tragical, I know.
Speaker 8: So yeah, I think about it way more than I
Speaker 8: should and it makes me feel really guilty. I probably
Speaker 8: think about it more than she does, which is kind
Speaker 8: of the problem. So it's like, do I tell her
Speaker 8: to give myself inner peace to not have to think
Speaker 8: about it all the time and feel guilty, or do
Speaker 8: I just like let her let her have that because
Speaker 8: it's not hurting anyone, right, So I don't know.
Speaker 2: So we we we started up by being like, okay, well,
Speaker 2: what are the positive? Why should you tell it? So
Speaker 2: the positive is you feel guilty? It would make you
Speaker 2: feel better to tell her?
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think so. I think it would also be
Speaker 8: kind of like a funny like, hey, like I did this,
Speaker 8: so sorry, how are you? Because we don't really talk
Speaker 8: that much anymore. But I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 7: Now I'm feeling maybe it's like not that relevant to
Speaker 7: bring up.
Speaker 1: Well, if you guys don't even talk that much, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think the best thing you could do, Alex is
Speaker 1: head down to your local open mic workshop. This story,
Speaker 1: get really good at telling it, make it really funny.
Speaker 1: Go all the way for the next eight years until
Speaker 1: Comedy Central acknowledges your explosive talent, and then at the
Speaker 1: top of your thirty minute special you go. So, when
Speaker 1: I was thirteen, I convinced someone they were on catfish
Speaker 1: and the crowd is roarings, and that's where she finds out.
Speaker 2: She goes, you.
Speaker 1: Motherfucker. You're like, but hey, then you bring her out
Speaker 1: at your next big show and you're like, this is
Speaker 1: who I catfish? And then that's how you make it
Speaker 1: full circle otherwise.
Speaker 2: And then it replaces the Now she has a new
Speaker 2: fun story. I was brought out, told the lie, and
Speaker 2: now she told it on TV, so it replaces. She
Speaker 2: still gets to have a cool factoid.
Speaker 1: Now you get to extract Now, yes, she gets to
Speaker 1: have this insane story to tell.
Speaker 2: Almost makes the story better. Yes, which is what Now
Speaker 2: that's a perfect win when you get to be open
Speaker 2: with uh uh, you know, you get to absolve the
Speaker 2: shame and guilt with with with coming out honestly, and
Speaker 2: she gets like a steroid injected into her factoid make
Speaker 2: it even more interesting. That's a good win win. I
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 1: So I think that's you guys have a lot of
Speaker 1: faith in me.
Speaker 8: I do not think we're gonna make.
Speaker 2: It that far.
Speaker 1: Hey, you never know.
Speaker 2: Now with that attitude, I think that you could mean you're.
Speaker 1: You're inherently a funny person. I mean, you did this
Speaker 1: fucking frank and that is hilarious.
Speaker 2: You could become some kind of like social experiment comedian. Yeah,
Speaker 2: have you ever thought about leaning into the like have
Speaker 2: you ever done anything like this? Since that's a great
Speaker 2: have you talked with anyone or anything.
Speaker 1: Like that.
Speaker 8: Where I've gassed other people?
Speaker 1: Let me think, let's go through your real quick.
Speaker 8: Not on like this large of a scale. Now, I
Speaker 8: don't think. I think probably smaller situations, but nothing where
Speaker 8: it's like I've completely embedded an illusion into someone's head.
Speaker 8: So it's od macherioid. God, this is what I feel
Speaker 8: so bad about.
Speaker 2: But the guilts. But like, like, but you've you've, in
Speaker 2: a way by fucking with her, improved her life. You have.
Speaker 2: You know, she gets to be more interesting at parties,
Speaker 2: she embraces that. It's made her happy.
Speaker 1: Also, you said she lives in Wisconsin, Michigan Michigan. Sorry,
Speaker 1: same thing? Where in where in Michigan? Can you say?
Speaker 2: Can you tell her home address?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: No, just what's the city?
Speaker 8: I have no idea. I yeah, I don't know off
Speaker 8: the top of my head.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. If she's running around fucking ann Arbor
Speaker 1: being like, you know, even though it's Minnesota.
Speaker 2: I was on an episode of Capitis fans. Who gives
Speaker 2: a fuck?
Speaker 1: Like the people in Michigan, they let them believe her,
Speaker 1: you know, they see that could happen is that someone
Speaker 1: finds out and it's never true. And then they orchestrate
Speaker 1: a meeting with Neve and he's like, you know, we
Speaker 1: never spoke before, right, And she's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this is the thing that you do, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, there's so many positives to not telling
Speaker 1: so I think Lyles hit it right. There's no real
Speaker 1: positive to tell it.
Speaker 2: Well wait a minute, okay, So you by the way,
Speaker 2: for those who are listening that don't know what Catfish is,
Speaker 2: cat how would you just it's a show where this
Speaker 2: guy talks to like what couple people who Yeah? He
Speaker 2: would you describe this?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Catfish is a show where a guy and his
Speaker 1: friend go out and find people who are developing feelings
Speaker 1: for someone on the Internet that they've never met, and
Speaker 1: then they go and reveal that person to their subject,
Speaker 1: and the subject realizes that the person they've been either
Speaker 1: in love with or spending a lot of time with
Speaker 1: on the internet is in fact not who they say
Speaker 1: they are.
Speaker 2: And you kind of did you you pretended to be Nev, right, correct? Yeah,
Speaker 2: so you kind of you kind of did. Can't fish her?
Speaker 2: So that could theoretically you turn into an episode or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do they still do that show? You should submit yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: get her on the show. That would be a great
Speaker 1: way to absolve the guilts, Like you weren't on it then,
Speaker 1: but guess it now.
Speaker 8: But then I have to approach Neve and say that
Speaker 8: I can't fished her at pin.
Speaker 2: Oh. Yeah, no, you would have to. You have to
Speaker 2: give an interview about that, and then the documentary crew
Speaker 2: could edit it in whatever way they want to portray
Speaker 2: you as heroic or villainous as they.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's so funny, And you should
Speaker 1: see if they still do that show and do that.
Speaker 2: Well, Alex, I think we've given you, uh, you know what,
Speaker 2: three different solutions so far, I hope that some of
Speaker 2: them were said, Factor Dio, Is there anything else that
Speaker 2: you want to say to me, Noel or the people
Speaker 2: of the computer before we go?
Speaker 8: I do yes to Noel. Yeah. So, my partner and
Speaker 8: I we've been dating for four years. Our first TISS
Speaker 8: four years ago was to the song keep You a
Speaker 8: Dick Fat by TMG, and it's not on Spotify anymore,
Speaker 8: and it ruins my day every single time.
Speaker 4: I go to listen to it.
Speaker 1: Listen, you don't even need that song. It's you and
Speaker 1: a girl, right. I do need that, but it's you
Speaker 1: and a girl right.
Speaker 8: With me and my boyfriend.
Speaker 7: Oh.
Speaker 1: When I say when I partner, you know, I'm thinking.
Speaker 2: Part partner. I feel like I've I've heard part I've
Speaker 2: been hearing partner used as like just sorry to catch all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, not. You know that's that's fair.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Well, Hey, listen, I'm sorry, it's never it's never going
Speaker 1: back to Spotify. I'm sorry, but you know, stay strong,
Speaker 1: stay strong out there.
Speaker 8: Yeah, thank you guys so much for everything you do.
Speaker 8: I love both of you guys so much. You guys
Speaker 8: are like I love you guys so much. Thanks so
Speaker 8: much for having me on Alex forever.
Speaker 2: Now four years. That's that. That's four years? Is that
Speaker 2: a serious relationship?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, deaf, No, one year can be a serious relationship.
Speaker 2: I just like, you don't you know, if you don't
Speaker 2: believe that, you don't have to say it now.
Speaker 1: I think I think after a year it can be
Speaker 1: serious for you, like you take it seriously and so
Speaker 1: it can be serious. But I just laughed at the
Speaker 1: tone of her voice, was like like, well, I'm in.
Speaker 2: A very very serious relationship and then to reveal yes, because.
Speaker 1: I feel like after one year people are very like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been daing for a year. You know, it's been
Speaker 1: going good, right, you know, one year typically signifies like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is going in a good direction. Yeah. But she
Speaker 1: said that ship like I fucking you know, like like
Speaker 1: she's been a relationship for ten years. Yeah, like they
Speaker 1: even thought was like absolutely, you know yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean even you earlier when I was asking if
Speaker 2: you were in a relationship didn't say with a serious evaton,
Speaker 2: yeah yes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we didn't get it.
Speaker 2: Got ten years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's whatever.
Speaker 2: I feel like there's a bell curve right where like
Speaker 2: you start out like, yeah, we've been together for a
Speaker 2: year and then you go and then five years it's
Speaker 2: like when a very seriously show five years, and then
Speaker 2: by ten years it becomes casual again. Yeah yeah, ten
Speaker 2: years whatever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because at that point I feel that you, I mean,
Speaker 1: you've been through so much shit that.
Speaker 2: You know, it's just like, yeah, when when would you
Speaker 2: say your relationship became serious?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I would say around like that, oh that you
Speaker 1: know that, it's like right around like you know that
Speaker 1: that three four year mark we were like, Okay, this
Speaker 1: is like for real, for real, like we're not going anywhere.
Speaker 1: That was that was the vibe.
Speaker 2: And then you have not yet gone anywhere. No, do
Speaker 2: you think like you might one day or you no? No?
Speaker 1: Cool, Yeah, we're solid. Yeah, I mean she and I
Speaker 1: may go somewhere, you know.
Speaker 2: That's cool. Do you get married? We're going to get
Speaker 2: married in October? Yeah, muscletough Yeah, thanks, man, are excited.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, no. I think originally we were just kind
Speaker 1: of like whatever about the whole concept. Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: recently we were like, eh, why don't we do something.
Speaker 2: You're gonna have like a big crazy no.
Speaker 1: No no no, We're just gonna fly out with some
Speaker 1: family to another country and just do it somewhere private.
Speaker 2: It's the way to do it. I feel like if I,
Speaker 2: if I, if I get married, I don't want to
Speaker 2: do a big wedding for because I don't want There
Speaker 2: was did you hear about the story of the couple
Speaker 2: who didn't have catering at their wedding so that they
Speaker 2: could have Mickey and Minnie Mouse there No, And people
Speaker 2: were like, fuck those guys, Like wow, considered to the guests,
Speaker 2: that's brutal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, you know, I don't want.
Speaker 2: I don't want to do a wedding that's like for
Speaker 2: other people, I would want to fuck with what you're doing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks man. No, no weddings. You know, I've heard
Speaker 1: a lot of different opinions about them, but ultimately, you know,
Speaker 1: unless you got like some situation where you both have
Speaker 1: like a crazy big family and that, and those families
Speaker 1: are like, we're gonna put money down, it's gonna be
Speaker 1: the biggest party on earth.
Speaker 2: Which even then, it's if the folks are paying for it,
Speaker 2: then then I'm down.
Speaker 1: But even then they're kind of making your day about them.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, you're right, You're right. That kind of kind
Speaker 2: of comes with a contract.
Speaker 1: So I think just make it down the middle. You know,
Speaker 1: I have said to a buddy of mine, I do
Speaker 1: think weddings should have activities in them, you.
Speaker 2: Know, other than dancing.
Speaker 1: Heh. Yeah. Like, imagine if you went to a wedding
Speaker 1: and then immediately after there was like an open registry
Speaker 1: for a free moon bounce would be great. But even like,
Speaker 1: you know, a fifteen on fifteen paintball match and you
Speaker 1: could just go in waves and sign up with the
Speaker 1: people at the wedding. I feel like that would bring
Speaker 1: you all closer together. You know, some people drinking, some
Speaker 1: people playing paintball, they like, hey, yeah, we can't. This
Speaker 1: wedding was crazy.
Speaker 2: I had a similar thing, and I I said, mazotov a,
Speaker 2: now I'm talking about my burmtsvah. I'm not that Jewish. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I've I'm signaling Judaism.
Speaker 1: Yeah a little bit, that's all right.
Speaker 2: I had even busters.
Speaker 1: Bro, you're probably one of the most memorable ones.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because all I And the reason why is because
Speaker 2: like I, girls really didn't like me when I was thirteen,
Speaker 2: and like got guys, I don't want to dance. It's
Speaker 2: like never like no girls my bermtzvah, yeah, and guys
Speaker 2: never really want to dance, and like unless if there's
Speaker 2: like girls there, that's kind of like what the you know,
Speaker 2: dancing environment was about. So we fucking play video games instead,
Speaker 2: and it was sick. Yeah, way better idea than and.
Speaker 1: All those girls missed out, bro, Yeah a little as
Speaker 1: sick ass.
Speaker 2: Party would have missed as party had we had a
Speaker 2: cake shaped like a slurpie.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're you're describing all cool things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how are you doing on time? I know that
Speaker 2: you have a thing.
Speaker 1: I think I got it. Unfortunately I have to dip.
Speaker 1: But this was this flew by man. This was fucking amazing.
Speaker 2: Dude, dude, thank you so much for being on No.
Speaker 1: I would I would love to come back and do
Speaker 1: this again. Man, please do, please do.
Speaker 2: Is a pleasure having you here.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I appreciate you very much taking the time out of
Speaker 2: your your your you know, go karting and.
Speaker 1: Here.
Speaker 2: Dude, is there anything you know before we go that
Speaker 2: you want to say to the people of the computer
Speaker 2: anything I want to plug you. Are you still used
Speaker 2: to have dates? Right?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: That's your dates?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got some. I got some dates coming up.
Speaker 1: I can't remember all the things I'm going to I'm
Speaker 1: going to I'm.
Speaker 2: Looking them up. I'm looking at Miller Miller.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 2: The very first question here is what is Noel Miller's ethnicity?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: There we go on, let's see. All right, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do this for you, Noel Miller. Is you
Speaker 2: gonna be in you already in?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, here we go. All right, hold on, Okay, you're
Speaker 2: gonna be in West des Moines, Iowa. September sixteenth, seventeenth.
Speaker 2: Pull up, You're gonna be in Sarahcuse, New York, September
Speaker 2: thirtieth and October first.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna be in West oh that's canceled West
Speaker 1: Palm Stans.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 1: Wait, that's when I getting married. No, Syracuse is good,
Speaker 1: West West begins. That's when I'm getting married.
Speaker 2: You're gonna be in Baltimore, Maryland at mcgooby's Joke House,
Speaker 2: one of the first places I Elveray did stand up.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah bean one, November third, the fifth shout out
Speaker 2: to mcgooby's joke House. Yeah, November eighteenth and ninetheenes. You
Speaker 2: gonna be in Columbus, Ohio. Yeah, it's wint stand up.
Speaker 1: Just just a few more dates for the year than
Speaker 1: we take a break and the next year going hard.
Speaker 2: Check out the Tiny Meat Gang podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, pull up.
Speaker 2: I think I don't know if I said this on
Speaker 2: the podcast or not, but I just found out that
Speaker 2: tiny meat means small penis.
Speaker 1: I think, yes, I didn't know. You just thought it
Speaker 1: was like a small deli meat. Yeah, something like that.
Speaker 1: That's fine, that's we We like it more ambiguous, you know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we like it like the media. Guys.
Speaker 2: You know, I'll let you get out of here. Everybody,
Speaker 2: thank you for being here.
Speaker 1: Are you all? You're not staying, are you?
Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm going to Hell.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everybody, Thank you everyone, goodbye, See you folks.
Speaker 2: There, Rep Ken goes on the line taking your phone
Speaker 2: calls every night.
Speaker 3: There, Repeat Can goes doing his eye.
Speaker 2: He's teaching you cloud in the of your life, but
Speaker 2: he's
Speaker 1: Not really an expert.