WEBVTT - It’s Not Show Friends….It’s Show Business. 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:06.000 This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:12.319 Welcome everybody to the most dramatic podcast ever. You have me, 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:15.040 Lauren Zima and Chris Harrison coming to you today with 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:16.120 a little playbook on. 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:18.840 How to know who your real friends are. 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:23.119 This topic was spurred for us by Amy Robock and TJ. 0:00:23.239 --> 0:00:26.079 Holmes talking about something that we definitely can relate to. 0:00:27.240 --> 0:00:30.640 They went on their podcast and talked about their quote, 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:35.360 fake former colleagues from ABC who they say ghosted them 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:39.480 after their scandal. They were talking on their podcast, which 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:44.680 is also here on iHeartRadio, and Roeboch said, quote Amy said, 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:46.760 we went back to work for two days after that 0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:50.400 tabloid that shall not be named released those photos of 0:00:51.360 --> 0:00:55.840 their private relationship. And she said there wasn't anyone catching 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:58.520 us cheating. That's not what happened. But we came back 0:00:58.560 --> 0:01:01.880 for those two days were arounded by support, she said. 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:05.960 But then Holmes interjected to say that their former colleagues 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:08.800 were being fake. Some of it was BS, he said, 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:11.360 and Robox said, yeah, once it was clear that we 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:15.399 weren't coming back, I never heard from most people again. 0:01:15.560 --> 0:01:19.520 The gravy train stopped. People quit coming to the table, Babe. 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:21.720 I want to go to you first because I think 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:25.040 obviously with what we went through, we saw a lot 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:28.119 of this just years ago ahead of Amy and TJ, 0:01:28.319 --> 0:01:32.160 so we can definitely relate, and you know, we really 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:33.720 need to like just speak to them at some point 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:35.320 and kind of you. 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:37.880 Yeah, just give them a little Let's have a mutual 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:39.960 pod where we all just talk it. 0:01:40.200 --> 0:01:41.039 What are your thoughts? 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:43.960 Well, I think when you go through any extraordinary event, 0:01:45.840 --> 0:01:49.360 it puts pressure on those relationships and you find out 0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:53.960 who your real friends are on a much deeper serious level. 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:56.720 You know, we talked about this when your dad died. 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:01.960 You find out who really is there, who's really vested 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:04.920 in you, who really cares about you. And it's not 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:07.800 the people that'll bring the cast role on Tuesday. It's 0:02:07.800 --> 0:02:09.799 who's going to show up on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday of 0:02:09.880 --> 0:02:13.919 the following week and the years that follow and when 0:02:13.960 --> 0:02:16.399 we went through what we went through the same thing. 0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:21.519 It's a reckoning, right, It's a garage sale in your 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:23.880 personal life. You go through this, by the way, when 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:26.280 you go through a divorce, when you have kids and 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:28.360 you're going through divorce and you've made so many friends 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:32.440 because of your kids and sports and you know, neighborhood friends, 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:36.639 and then you realize, well, they weren't really with you 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:38.600 because you they were with you for your wife or 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:39.840 the kids or whatever it was. 0:02:39.919 --> 0:02:41.520 And so or if they're the type of friend who 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:43.440 like chooses the other person, you know, well they weren't 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:46.040 really your friends. Yeah, and so sometimes people make people choose. 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:48.040 There are many stages in life, and so I'm glad 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:51.240 Amy and TJ spoke about this because it's something that 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:53.720 should be relatable to all of us, because we will 0:02:53.760 --> 0:02:55.680 all go through this at some point in our lives, 0:02:56.360 --> 0:02:58.799 when you transition out of one thing into another in life, 0:02:58.880 --> 0:03:01.600 especially when it is on a massive scale. And yeah, 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:03.960 when Lauren and I went through what we went through, 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:07.160 same thing where there was a reckoning of there were 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:09.880 those that stood beside us. There were those that called 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:14.080 us immediately and spoke publicly or even privately, and they've 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:16.720 never left our side and to this day they're right 0:03:16.760 --> 0:03:18.600 by our side. They're in that fox hole with you. 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:21.600 But when the bullets start flying, as I like to say, 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:23.520 you find out who will stay in that fox hole 0:03:23.720 --> 0:03:25.600 and who will really take the bullets for you. And 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:28.560 a lot of people won't And let me just say 0:03:28.639 --> 0:03:31.600 in their defense, because yeah, some of them are just 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:34.280 bottom feeders and they're just trying to attach to a 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:37.520 good thing when things are going good. But you can't 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:42.480 always in their defense, You can't always expect people to 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:47.640 go through everything with you. That's kind of a selfish, 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:51.160 narcissistic trait of like, this is big for me. I'm 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:54.320 going through something traumatic, Therefore you should care and go 0:03:54.400 --> 0:03:55.120 through it with me. 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:57.120 Now, the people that people got their own stuff going 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:58.080 on here. Yeah, people have. 0:03:58.000 --> 0:03:59.440 Their own shit and they have their own stuff to 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:01.720 do with, and you can expect them to understand the 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:05.680 depths of what you're feeling. No one could ever understand 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:07.480 what we were going through and what we were feeling 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:10.440 in those moments. The people that loved us most dove 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:12.560 in to try to figure that out. No one could 0:04:12.600 --> 0:04:14.760 really know what you were going through when your dad died. 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:16.800 The people that loved you most figured it out and 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:19.240 they stayed with you to learn that. But you can't 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:23.880 expect everybody. And when you're on set for Amy and TJ, 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:26.960 they're at GMA, there's people in the green room, they 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:30.000 come into your dressing room because you're surviving every day. 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:33.280 There's people I traveled with, I took care of their kids, 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:35.800 I helped them on day to day life. 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:37.960 You know, I would get a. 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:41.120 Bar set up in paradise or at a bar set 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:44.560 up when we're quarantined when we were shooting Clayer season 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:46.800 because we're stuck, and so I had a burger and 0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:49.040 a bar come in. And everyone loves you in. 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:51.440 Those moments you're trying to keep treat the crew. 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:53.080 You're trying to treat the crew, You're trying to take 0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:56.000 care of everybody, and everyone's like, oh, we love you, bro, 0:04:56.120 --> 0:04:58.480 we love you bro. And you think in those moments 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:01.839 they would never leave you, Well they will. 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:03.599 I think. 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:06.599 You know, you've made such a good point in the 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:12.760 word reckoning or the phrase garage sale, Yeah, are really applicable. 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:17.440 There's friends in your life that are friends for a 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:19.520 reason and friends for a season, right, Like some of 0:05:19.560 --> 0:05:23.120 what you're talking about is just the natural flow, and 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:25.320 I think that's something we can't get upset about. Like 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:28.040 if you move, you're going to hold onto some friends 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:29.680 long distance and some you won't. And it's not that 0:05:29.760 --> 0:05:32.320 anything bad happened or that there's any anger or malice 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:34.599 there It's just you have to have a certain level 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:38.679 of depth of friendship to overcome when when things get harder, 0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:42.479 when it's not convenient or easy friendship. But then there's 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:46.800 like a tragic case or where something horrible happens, and 0:05:46.960 --> 0:05:48.800 that's a different story, and that's kind of what you're 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:50.880 talking about with us or with my dad and that 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:53.280 kind of thing. And what I'm looking for in those 0:05:53.320 --> 0:05:58.400 moments is I don't necessarily need people to, like publicly 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:00.320 as you're saying, go through it with you or stand 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.520 beside you, like I mean, I know that, you know, 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:06.120 we didn't. Really The problem with what happened was that 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:10.440 at that time, anybody who said anything in your defense 0:06:11.040 --> 0:06:13.800 was going to get railed. The same was going to 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:16.520 significantly suffer, And we didn't want anyone to. 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:21.680 Lose jobs or get in trouble for standing up and defending. 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:25.359 So I didn't expect that from people. I appreciate it, 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:27.080 and I knew who our real friends were, the people 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:31.080 who were like reaching out just to us directly, the 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:33.720 people who stuck out to me, or the people who 0:06:33.760 --> 0:06:36.280 didn't reach out behind the scenes at all, like who 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:38.640 you know, it's really telling if someone only reaches out 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:39.560 and supports you. 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:41.719 Publicly but not privately, right, yes. 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:44.320 And then a whole other level is the people who 0:06:44.800 --> 0:06:47.080 took advantage of the moment and who maybe you thought 0:06:47.080 --> 0:06:49.520 were your friend and who like slammed you and took 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:52.360 advantage of getting their name in the headlines and made 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:53.240 the moment about them. 0:06:53.320 --> 0:06:55.960 That's really the worst kind of person, And that's someone. 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:59.200 I was thinking that too. It's the people that were jealous, 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:02.839 the people that tug on your cape and take try 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:05.600 and take advantage of a moment that that happened. 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:07.320 But I think some of what Amy and TJ are 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:10.520 talking about here isn't like specific to our business. It's 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:16.000 sometimes your work friends are not your life friends. And 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:18.880 I think we have a lot of mentality, Like business 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:22.800 culture is like your work family, and maybe. 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:24.160 It used to be a little different years ago. 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:26.000 I've talked to my mom about this, because we're two 0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:30.440 different generations obviously, Like our businesses used to be, like 0:07:30.480 --> 0:07:34.200 maybe you worked for your neighborhood furniture store and you 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:36.680 might work somewhere for decades and those people really were 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:38.840 kind of your family. I think now a lot of 0:07:38.880 --> 0:07:41.680 people work for really big corporations, and you hear this oh, 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:44.720 our work family thing, but it's like the reality is 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:46.960 that company would fire you if they needed to, and 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:50.000 there's not as much loyalty, and the camaraderie is more 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:56.240 like for image purposes than it is real. And that's 0:07:56.280 --> 0:07:59.360 not to say you won't find work friends, but I 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:01.480 think when you leave a job, if you walk away 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:03.680 with like one or two really good friends from that, 0:08:03.680 --> 0:08:04.239 that's great. 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:06.600 Not everybody who is your work friend is going to 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:07.440 stay your real friend. 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:21.880 I think it's important that and this is a good 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:27.560 exercise in life to take stock in life of who 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:31.720 you are pouring your life and love and emotion into. 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:34.960 Are they really there for you? Are they really that 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:37.560 into you? No? But are they really that good of friends? 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:41.640 And I think it's important that you don't exaggerate in 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:43.800 your own mind and your own heart of what these 0:08:43.800 --> 0:08:46.040 people really do mean to you, because, like you said, 0:08:46.600 --> 0:08:49.239 especially what you know you find out in these businesses 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:54.960 is that sure everybody's friendly. And the executives that we were, look, 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:57.079 I was with people that would tell me they love 0:08:57.160 --> 0:09:00.480 me every day at the network, at the studio, So bro, 0:09:01.080 --> 0:09:03.160 we love you. We'll always take care of you. You know, 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:05.600 you do everything for us. You've taken all the bullets, 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:09.480 You've done this. We love you, We love you. Those 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:12.439 people are nowhere to be found and they will fire you, 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:17.160 sell you, trade you for a bag of catfish if 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:21.440 it helps them. That's the business. And so I'm glad 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:23.080 that TJ and Amy brought this up. But I hope 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:25.000 that they brought it up not to be bitter about it, 0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:28.120 but to just say, hey, this is something that happened 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:30.800 to us, because it happens to everybody in their life 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:32.640 at some point in some way, and I think it's 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:35.120 a really monumental important thing to learn. 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:38.000 Yeah, TJ said, quote, we get it to a certain degree. 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:40.160 Everybody's trying to hold on to their job. They don't 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:41.839 want to be seen as being an ally of the 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:44.440 two people that ABC News doesn't like. We get it 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:46.840 to a certain degree. We stayed away from some of 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:49.480 our former colleagues because we were so worried about them. 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:52.679 I mean, yeah, it's look, I could you don't want 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:54.160 to we would do that. Yeah, we did because we 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:56.240 didn't want people's jobs to be affected. I mean when 0:09:56.240 --> 0:09:58.679 we went through everything, you were so I don't even 0:09:58.679 --> 0:10:01.080 know how many times you said like you didn't you 0:10:01.200 --> 0:10:03.280 just wanted the show to be okay because you didn't 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:08.240 want people lose their jobs. Yeah, And you know what's 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:11.680 sticking out to me too, And it's a similarity between 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:13.439 my dad and you. 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:18.120 Is also time Like that is what's a little weird. 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:20.160 Is it's sort of easy to say, oh, your work friends, 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:21.720 Like it's easy to say what I just said, your 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:24.360 work friends aren't your real friends. But when you have 0:10:24.559 --> 0:10:27.040 longevity at a place, like you'd been at the show 0:10:27.120 --> 0:10:30.160 for twenty years. My dad had been at his law 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:33.520 firm for like thirty years, so you do think at 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:36.920 a certain point, like we're friends, right, I've known you 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:39.400 twenty years that I've heard about your kids growing up? 0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:42.240 And what was that like for you? Because I don't 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:44.440 have that same like I'll talk about my dad' stuff 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:46.360 in a minute, but what was the What was it 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:49.000 like with somebody who maybe you weren't best friends with 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:51.679 but you'd known them twenty years at the show and 0:10:51.760 --> 0:10:54.200 were there people who didn't who disappointed you like that? 0:10:54.720 --> 0:10:56.959 Yes, there were people that disappointed me. You know what. 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:58.679 It was a lot of people that I helped kind 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:00.480 of bring up in the business, and I fought form 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:02.600 and I really tried to teach them, and because I 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:05.520 loved being a mentor in that world and have watched 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:07.880 young people grow up, because again we're a victim of 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:10.439 our own success over there. So we'd been together so long. 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:14.200 People had started on the show as interns or pas 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:16.560 or what have you, that's like the lowest level of production, 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:20.400 and moved into really great roles. And so to watch 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:23.440 them on that ride, to support them and help them, 0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:25.240 you know, fight the fight and what can be a 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:27.920 very tough, cruel business, and then to kind of have 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:30.840 them turn their back on you in a very grand way. 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:34.560 Some were very public. There was there was kind of 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:38.960 one public thing that happened that I was really disappointed 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:43.440 in everybody, but like t like TJ just said, I 0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:47.560 also kind of understand because when you're a drowning person 0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:49.400 and if you try to help that person, they'll drag 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:52.320 you down too. I think everybody saw me as well. 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:53.760 I just got to stay away from that. I got 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:56.160 to save my own job. And there was there was 0:11:56.200 --> 0:12:00.400 some animosity that had grown between me and the losses, 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:03.040 and so I think these people were like, look, I'm 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:05.960 just going to keep my head down and stay the course. 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:08.640 And so interestingly enough, and I'll be interested to know 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:11.480 if this happens with TJ and Amy. Time can often 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:14.080 heal a lot of those wounds. And there are people 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:18.000 that have later come out and said, you know, I'm sorry, 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:20.080 I wish I had spoken up. You know, now that 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:23.800 I have reflection upon that time, you know, I really 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:26.360 feel bad about leaving you or not saying something. 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:29.240 And it's easy to get caught up in the pac mentality. 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:30.600 And I tell them thank you. I love that, but 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:34.960 I also understand because you have to always remember the 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:38.520 moment and have some grace and compassion for what everybody 0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:41.319 was dealing with in that moment, because again later we think, oh, 0:12:41.320 --> 0:12:43.120 it wasn't that bad, or that wasn't that crazy, Why 0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:45.760 didn't you say something? You got to remember that moment 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:47.920 and how crazy it was, because it was just as 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:50.319 crazy for them, and so you got to have a 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:52.640 little compassion and grace as far as that goes to. 0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:55.120 And you know, I felt like that in my marriage, 0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:57.520 you know, when I got divorced. You've got to give 0:12:57.559 --> 0:13:00.440 people the grace to be like it's confusing for them too. 0:13:00.600 --> 0:13:03.880 Yeah, I've had friends like apologize to me later and 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:06.920 say I wasn't really there for you when your dad died, 0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:09.280 Like I gave you a card right when it happened, 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:11.559 but I wasn't there for you. And I have no anger. 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:13.120 I'm like, oh my god, we were like twenty two 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.360 years old, Like nobody understood it and nobody got it. 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:17.959 I think is emotionally are they equipped to come to you? 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:22.720 Yeah. I do have some resentment about like certain family 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:24.360 members who I don't think we're there for my family, 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:26.640 who should have known better, who were adults. 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:27.480 Like. 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:32.600 And you know my dad's I mentioned my dad's company 0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:33.160 where he worked. 0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:35.520 He was there for thirty years, And I. 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:38.080 Do think one thing my dad did was he spent 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:43.520 so much time where he worked because he wanted to 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:46.079 provide a good life for his family, and he didn't 0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:49.480 really invest in that many friendships, Like he had work 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:51.599 and he had his family, and that was all of 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:54.040 his time. And I do think he thought the people 0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:56.880 who he worked with were his friends. I have not 0:13:57.000 --> 0:14:01.600 heard from any of those people since the funeral, not ones, 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:05.480 and that blows my mind when I think about it, 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:07.880 because I watched them stand up there and talk about him, 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:10.840 and I put together my twenty one year old self 0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:16.200 with the help of a friend, cried over putting togethers 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:22.600 sorry the slideshow of his life, and you know, it 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:26.640 was a lot of work stuff and that was his 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:30.800 time away from his kids and everybody who I met 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:33.240 who he worked with. One thing did make me really 0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:35.400 happy was like they knew so much about me because 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:36.960 they were like, oh, all your dad did. 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:37.840 Was talk about you guys. 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:42.360 But they didn't reach out, you know, they didn't check 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:47.400 on us. And that was like a learning moment for me, 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:49.560 and a lesson. I kind of wish I'd remembered a 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:52.720 little harder when we went through everything, which is like 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:59.040 you might think that these people are your friends, but 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:01.320 sometimes when I connective. 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:03.640 Thread the job or whatever it is, or maybe they had. 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:06.720 Their own issues or resentments, like that goes away and 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:10.280 maybe part of it wasn't real, you know, it just 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:11.840 it shines a light. 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:15.320 And to me, I think, you know. 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:18.240 As we're all operating different friendships in our life, like, yeah, 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:22.280 I get the I you know, I've got kids to 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:23.960 provide for and I have my own job to worry 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:24.560 but I get that. 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:26.960 But I will say, you want to be able to. 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:28.760 Lay your head on the pillow at night and think 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:31.200 I did the right thing. 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:32.120 Yeah, And I. 0:15:32.080 --> 0:15:34.400 Think in your situation, there were some people, and those 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:36.120 were the people who later reached out back to you 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:38.840 who looked back and thought I didn't do the right thing. 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:41.080 I should have stood up. 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:43.640 For him, like the behind the scenes people who didn't 0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:45.240 have to stand up for you publicly but should have 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:47.680 stood up for you behind the scenes, or the people 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:50.360 who should have reached out more they knew that they 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:51.880 didn't do the right thing there. 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:54.240 And the good thing is, at the end of the day, 0:15:55.200 --> 0:15:57.480 I know you and I can put our head down 0:15:57.480 --> 0:15:59.240 on the pillow and know that we did do the 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:02.720 right thing through that whole situation. We didn't, you know, 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:05.200 try to burn Rome down. We didn't try to take 0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:09.000 anybody personal down. And I think the takeaway from all 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:12.680 of this is, and we always talk about, be careful 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:17.320 of what defined you in this world. Be careful if 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:21.680 it's your job, be careful what you know, what defines 0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:24.760 who you are. But also be careful who defined you 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:28.600 and who you really put your stock in, and who 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:31.680 really is the sum total of you. The people that 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.840 are closest to you, you know, think long and hard 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:38.720 about who those people are, what they represent, and what 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:41.400 they give you and what you give them. And this 0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:44.200 goes both ways. Who are you to them? Are you 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:46.480 a good friend? Are you that person? Are you that 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:48.440 mentor are you the person that'll go the extra mile? 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:50.520 Are you the person that when they just lost their 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:52.800 mom or dad you really were there for them. You 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.200 know this isn't just on everybody else. You are a 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:57.600 part of this as well. Are you that good of 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:00.000 a human being? But I guess the takeaway is because 0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:02.000 ful of not only what defines you, but who. 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:06.680 Yeah, the simple test for me is this friend, this partner, 0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:10.679 whoever it is. Are they making you better? Are you 0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:12.760 making them better? Are you both challenging each other to 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:15.520 be better? Are they like growing you as a person 0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:18.200 and not in like a distinct let's have a talk 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.119 about this way. But like I surround myself, my friends 0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:23.720 are all honestly like really and we've stayed friends because 0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:28.720 they're all super smart, driven, loving women like in their 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:31.800 careers and being moms, And so they make me better 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:35.520 just in who they are and in all the conversations 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:37.440 we have, not in like an overt way, but in 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:39.879 all the things we talk about, in the perspectives that 0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:40.439 they give me. 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:42.600 So Yeah, you know, it's interesting. 0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:45.600 I just thought of something. You know, my late great 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:50.480 grandmother always used to say, Chris, surround yourself with people 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:55.040 who are greater, equal, or greater than you, and people 0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:56.199 that will help you grow. It's kind of what you 0:17:56.240 --> 0:17:58.840 were just saying. And what I realized as I look back, 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:04.240 is I away from that in my professional life. I 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:09.040 was not around good people in my professional life, and 0:18:09.320 --> 0:18:10.840 I think I got caught up in the machine. I 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:12.320 got caught up in the glitz and the glamor of 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:16.640 it all, and I didn't look at what was really important, 0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:18.600 and so I didn't surround myself with people that are 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:21.359 equal or better than me as human beings. They weren't 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:25.199 good people. And I think that's why I'm so excited 0:18:25.200 --> 0:18:27.600 about what we're doing now with Merritt Street, is we 0:18:27.640 --> 0:18:30.320 have surrounded ourselves with people who are equal or better 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:35.520 and good people. And I look back and I'm like, damn, 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:37.199 you know what that's on me? 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:41.359 No, But look you also again, you had kids in 0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:44.360 a family, and you had a job, and I think 0:18:44.359 --> 0:18:46.159 you love the fans. That's the thing is, it's like 0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:49.960 very much everybody who watched the show that was always 0:18:50.000 --> 0:18:52.439 such a good relationship for you, and I think, I 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:54.119 really think that's what kept you at the show as 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:55.280 long as it did. 0:18:55.480 --> 0:18:57.240 I mean, I'm speaking for you for sure. 0:18:57.680 --> 0:19:01.679 That connection and that love and the joy that you 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:04.000 know as you walk through an airport that everybody seemed 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:07.200 to have, you know, it's what it was, that connective tissue. 0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:08.840 For so many relationship people. 0:19:08.760 --> 0:19:11.080 Great people and a lot of people. Again, a lot 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:14.240 of people I did work with were very wonderful and 0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:15.119 our good friends. 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:17.800 But you're right as we walk into Merit, that's something 0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:20.280 you and I like why we signed on with Merret 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:23.639 really early. We talked about like whoa, We didn't know 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:26.600 it could be like this, Like these people are all 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:30.359 they all seem to be really good people in Hollywood 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:33.200