1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: This is the EDS with Eddie Judge and Edwin Aoya, 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:08,160 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the EDS. I'm Eddie Judge and I'm Edwin, 3 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:12,120 Speaker 1: and today we are going to talk about a topic 4 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:15,440 Speaker 1: that's a bit on the heavy side, but an important one. 5 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 1: It's grief. And I bring this up because my dear 6 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 1: friend Edwin has been mi I A, you know, the 7 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:28,639 Speaker 1: last couple of shows, and we're going to talk about why. 8 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 1: You know, it's it's an important topic and I'd like 9 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,560 Speaker 1: to hear what you've been up to. Brother. 10 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:39,519 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been away because unfortunately one of my biggest 11 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,600 Speaker 2: fears in life came true, which was losing a parent, 12 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:47,200 Speaker 2: and my dad passed. So that was quite the hit. 13 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 2: I wasn't I mean, I was selfishly I thought he 14 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,840 Speaker 2: would live a couple more years, but the truth of 15 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 2: the matter, he was eighty two, so we did live 16 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 2: a long time, but he just had to. He had 17 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 2: his birthday December, you know, in December, and I had 18 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,839 Speaker 2: just talked to him and he probably looked the best 19 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,680 Speaker 2: I've seen him looking years, I mean, just lively. The 20 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 2: last thing I thought was he was going to pass 21 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 2: and I was supposed to go visit him two weeks 22 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 2: after his birthday, and then of course a week after that, 23 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 2: I get a call that he's at the hospital and 24 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 2: about to be intubated, and actually he was already intubated 25 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 2: at the time, so I didn't even get a chance 26 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 2: to really talk to him. And then they told me 27 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 2: it was not going to be a big deal, just 28 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 2: a pneumonia that he caught, although he did have bad lungs. 29 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 2: He had like chronic lung issues, but they were like, 30 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,960 Speaker 2: it's going to be okay. And then about ten days later, 31 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 2: it wasn't getting better. And that's when I was able 32 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 2: to fly down there and spent some time with him. 33 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 2: At the time when I went, he was still semi conscious, 34 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 2: so I was able to talk to him, and I 35 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:03,320 Speaker 2: was there for a week, but really tough to see 36 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 2: him in those conditions. As soon as I saw him 37 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,359 Speaker 2: in those conditions, I obviously broke down, got very emotional 38 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 2: because then it became real, you know, you know, I 39 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 2: just I've never really had to deal with death for 40 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 2: a long time. Yeah, I felt like that just wasn't 41 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 2: a part of my life like that, that's what happens 42 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:25,919 Speaker 2: to other people, that doesn't really happen to me, And 43 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 2: well you. 44 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, you recently kind of experienced that with Teddy. You 45 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 1: know when we're at the hospital and she's in the 46 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 1: bed and you're you know, we're all kind of is 47 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: she going to make it? 48 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 2: Is she not going to make it? 49 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 1: I mean that's a lot, man, in the last what 50 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 1: three years, four years? To me, that's a lot. That's 51 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: a year and a half, year and a half. Yeah, 52 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 1: it's all happened. 53 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,400 Speaker 2: You know what they say, when it rains, it pours, 54 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:56,519 Speaker 2: So yeah, it just seems that, you know, these things 55 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 2: are just happening. But you know that's the thing. You know, 56 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:02,359 Speaker 2: when you get to your forties, it's a tough eight. 57 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 2: I think it's a tough decade when you think about it, 58 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 2: because typically you have kids in your forties, right, you 59 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 2: have work, I mean, you're in the that's the forties 60 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 2: are really when you're supposed to make most of your money. 61 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 2: But then you also have your parents that are typically aging. 62 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 2: So you're just getting hit from all angles. Right, you 63 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 2: got your family, got your wife, So how much for me? 64 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 2: The forties have been quite the squeeze, you know, But 65 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 2: you know, I was I think one of I always 66 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 2: pray for wisdom and at a young age. I had 67 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 2: the wisdom to know, Hey, you got to work your 68 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 2: ass off in your twenties and thirties so that you 69 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 2: can be ready when you have kids and your parents 70 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 2: are aging at the time, and you know, have some flexibility, 71 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 2: you know, but you know. But yeah, so losing dad 72 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 2: definitely a tough one for me. 73 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: Did you take the kids with you when you went 74 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: to Columbua to go see him? 75 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 2: No, I didn't. Well the first time, I didn't take it. 76 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 2: I didn't take that well the first or second time. 77 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 2: But I did take all my siblings, my niece, my 78 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:22,159 Speaker 2: mom when when we found out he passed. You know, 79 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 2: one of the nice what not, one of the things 80 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 2: that gave me peace was that I got to see 81 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 2: him when he was semi conscious and I got to 82 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 2: just hold his hand, and I promised him, just like 83 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 2: I did when I was ten years old, that I 84 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:42,279 Speaker 2: would take care of the family. And you know, I 85 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 2: wanted him to know that if God forbid, if he passed, 86 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:50,040 Speaker 2: that he didn't have to have worries or any cares 87 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 2: in life because he knew that I was going to 88 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 2: be there to take care of his family. You know, 89 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 2: I think I wanted him to just be peace. To know, hey, 90 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,599 Speaker 2: your wife, your grandchildren, your your kids, don't don't have 91 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 2: to be don't They're not gonna need anything because I'm 92 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 2: always going to be there. I wanted him to know 93 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:15,159 Speaker 2: that and for me that that has brought me peace, 94 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 2: and knowing that I know he had peace. In fact, 95 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,600 Speaker 2: he squeezed my hand when I when I when I 96 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 2: told him that, and you know, I just wanted to 97 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 2: honor him. He'd done so much for me that it's 98 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 2: the least I can do for him, for all the 99 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 2: sacrifices that that he made for us. So and then 100 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 2: you know, where much as given, much is required. And 101 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 2: I feel like I've been given a lot in life 102 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 2: and it's because of that it's my job to make 103 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 2: sure people are taken care of, you know, it's it's 104 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 2: just blessings. And you know, I'm a firm believer that 105 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 2: a lot of the blessings I've gotten in life because 106 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 2: I've always taken care of my parents. Like that's always 107 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 2: been like my number one priority was to take care 108 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 2: of my parents. You know. I told my dad when 109 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 2: when he got put away for for a long time, 110 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 2: he said, I need you to be the the man 111 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 2: of the house. But when he came out, I said, Dad, 112 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,359 Speaker 2: I don't want you getting into that industry that landed 113 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 2: you in jail. And I said, let me just I'll 114 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 2: take care of you, you know. And he never went 115 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,919 Speaker 2: back in it. And he lived a great, great life 116 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 2: and he got to spend time with his kids, his parents, 117 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:39,600 Speaker 2: I mean his kids and his grandchildren, and it was 118 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 2: it was great. So that has given me, That has 119 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 2: given me peace. 120 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, what did he do after a little bit about 121 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: your dad? What did he do after he came out? 122 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 2: So he lived his life. You know, he went to Columbia. 123 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 2: So he ended up staying in Columbia for for the 124 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 2: rest of his life. But you know, we would travel 125 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 2: a lot, you know, I'd always meet them in different 126 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 2: parts of the world, and we got to go to 127 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 2: a bunch of World Cups together. I think selfishly I 128 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 2: wanted to again experience another World Cup here in the 129 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 2: US with them. In the worst case, we were going 130 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 2: to go to Mexico to watch some games, but unfortunately 131 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 2: that didn't happen. But you know, I was able to 132 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 2: create a ton of memories with them. So even though 133 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 2: we didn't spend as much time as I probably would 134 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,160 Speaker 2: have liked to, and I felt like life was always 135 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 2: sort of separating us in many ways. I did. I'm 136 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 2: grateful for all the moments that we spent. And you know, 137 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:49,840 Speaker 2: if you look at aging parents, you know, once they 138 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 2: start getting older, if you're only going to visit them 139 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:57,240 Speaker 2: once or twice a year and they're already sixty five, like, 140 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:58,920 Speaker 2: there's a good chance you're only going to see them 141 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 2: ten more times, yeah, you know, or twenty more times, 142 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 2: you know. And if you think of it like that, 143 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 2: you start to be more intentional, what the time you 144 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 2: spend with them, and make sure that you're present with 145 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 2: them because there's not that many years. You know. Again, 146 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 2: if you only see them once and they're already seventy five, 147 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 2: good chance they might not make it eighty five. 148 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy to think that my grandmother 149 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 1: to turn one hundred years old last year, and it 150 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: just chugs lesson. That is what a perspective though, Like 151 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,560 Speaker 1: I start to think seventy that's no big deal. Eighty 152 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 1: come on, you know, in nineties I might start to suffer, 153 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:45,079 Speaker 1: but a hundred, I don't know that I want to 154 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: be around for one hundred. Bro. 155 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 2: Although they say you know, they say that if somehow 156 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 2: we survived the next ten fifteen years, it's a good 157 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 2: chance we're going to live up to one hundred and twenty. 158 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 2: But they're going to be good years. I hope so, 159 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 2: because again, and you don't want to to your point, like, 160 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:04,719 Speaker 2: what's the point of going to one hundred if you're 161 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 2: not if you're in pain the entire time. Now, your 162 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 2: grandma looks like she's pretty good, though she looks like 163 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 2: she's having a blast. 164 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: She is, but she's gone through hell in the back 165 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 1: in the last probably decade. You know. She's she's beat stepsis, 166 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:25,079 Speaker 1: she's beat pneumonia, she's beat obesity. I mean, what is 167 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 1: that cholesterol thing. Yeah, she's just beat it all. And 168 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 1: most recently she was in hospice for failing kidneys and 169 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:40,559 Speaker 1: somehow her kidneys came back and she's full of life 170 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 1: again and she's just kicking. She doesn't want to quit. 171 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 2: You know what I heard the other day that I 172 00:09:54,600 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 2: found so interesting. They've done this research and if you 173 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 2: you are, if you believe that you will live a 174 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:07,079 Speaker 2: long time. Like for me, I just always believe, for 175 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 2: some reason, I believe I'm gonna live to one hundred hopefully. 176 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 2: I don't know that's what I believe, right, but they 177 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,679 Speaker 2: they said that people that think they're going to live 178 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 2: a long time typically lives seven and a half years 179 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:22,560 Speaker 2: more than people who don't. And they what was interesting 180 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 2: is it said that not believing or thinking you're going 181 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:32,880 Speaker 2: to die soon is actually worse than alcohol, smoking, and 182 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,880 Speaker 2: like all these things that you think take your life before. 183 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 2: But it's just the power of the mind and being 184 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:43,960 Speaker 2: positive versus negative that just by you thinking you're going 185 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 2: to live a long time, you'll outlive people by seven 186 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:46,959 Speaker 2: and a half years. 187 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:50,719 Speaker 1: Well, how many times have you heard stories of couples 188 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: that have lived together and been in love and you know, 189 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 1: they're in their late seventies or eighties, and then one 190 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:01,679 Speaker 1: passes and not long after the other passes because of 191 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:05,680 Speaker 1: a broken heart, Like they just can't imagine life without 192 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 1: the other person, you know, whether it's they did everything 193 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:13,720 Speaker 1: for you or you truly are just heartbroken so much 194 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 1: that you're like, what's the point. I don't want to 195 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 1: be here? You know, I can see that happening with 196 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 1: my wife and I because that's you know, that's what 197 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 1: I'm counting on. I'm counting on being in love for 198 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 1: the rest of my life and getting to that point where, 199 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: you know, hopefully I go before she goes. 200 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 2: But that's kind of the way to think about it, right, 201 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 2: because if she goes before you go, that's going to 202 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:42,280 Speaker 2: be a lonely, lonely time, just heartbroken and heartbreaking. 203 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. 204 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,960 Speaker 2: I actually thought about that the other day for the 205 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:49,080 Speaker 2: first time. Like, you know what, when death is not 206 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,760 Speaker 2: really a part of your life, you don't even think 207 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,080 Speaker 2: about that stuff. You know, as you get older, you 208 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 2: start to think about it, and you're like, huh, Like, 209 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 2: I think I'd rather go before my loved one, right, 210 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 2: because just losing the loved one, you know, a partner 211 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,880 Speaker 2: of yours that have been with you forever, like the 212 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 2: heartbreak of that, and I can see how people die 213 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 2: immediately after that, how the other partner dies after that. Yeah, 214 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 2: especially at an older age. Yeah, Like, imagine you're together 215 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 2: until you're in your eighties or nineties, and then what 216 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,959 Speaker 2: are you gonna do is start dating again at ninety four. 217 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:28,440 Speaker 1: I don't know. I've seen some movies and I've heard of, 218 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 1: you know, places where fifty five plus people, maybe sixty 219 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,079 Speaker 1: five plus people live, and there's a lot of sex, 220 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:40,520 Speaker 1: unprotected sex that goes on in those places. So you know, 221 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,199 Speaker 1: I was just going to say, the worst case scenario 222 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 1: for me would be too And I think this is 223 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 1: taunted to most men, to die a loan, like, you know, 224 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:54,080 Speaker 1: just just all by yourself. The kids aren't around, your 225 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 1: friends and your family's gone, and you're just kind of 226 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 1: chucking through life, you know, the last ten years, nothing 227 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,959 Speaker 1: to really do, nowhere to go, and I just I 228 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,680 Speaker 1: would kill myself if I was ever in that situation. 229 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,559 Speaker 1: I would not want to be in that situation. 230 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 2: What's funny. It goes back to the law of reciprocity, right, 231 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 2: you get what you give. So if you've been selfish 232 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 2: all your life, you're going to probably end up by yourself. 233 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,560 Speaker 2: That's during your last days, which is probably the worst 234 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 2: thing that could ever happen. Now. One of the things 235 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 2: that I was, again very proud of my dad. I've 236 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,600 Speaker 2: always been very proud of my dad. In fact, I 237 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 2: tell my kids all the time he was my hero, 238 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,320 Speaker 2: and I hope to be my kid's hero one day. 239 00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:35,800 Speaker 2: You will, and you know, and I was the same 240 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,640 Speaker 2: thing with my siblings, like I wanted to be there 241 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,199 Speaker 2: because my siblings are like my kids. You know, I 242 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 2: wanted to be their hero and my dad. I wanted 243 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 2: to honor him. I wanted to make him proud. Same 244 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 2: thing with my mom. But you know, I loved at 245 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:59,959 Speaker 2: his funeral. I have eight half brothers and there's four 246 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 2: my siblings. So basically what happened was I get a 247 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 2: call early February basically that he passed. Imagine, I mean again, 248 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:14,920 Speaker 2: nightmare coming true. I wake up to your dad passed, 249 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:19,920 Speaker 2: and then then that's followed by you need to get 250 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 2: here in twenty four hours. I didn't know that in internationally, 251 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 2: well at least in Colombia, but now I'm hearing more 252 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 2: and more. It's kind of a norm. They bury you 253 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 2: twenty four hours after you die. So they made an 254 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 2: exception and they extended for forty eight hours because again 255 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,320 Speaker 2: he passed at night, like at three in the morning. 256 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 2: I wake up at seven in the morning. That's when 257 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 2: I find out he passed. So then at that point 258 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 2: I have to get my sibling's niece mom just the 259 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,800 Speaker 2: last minute ticket to Colombia, and we all flew down 260 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 2: and then but his family was there, you know, been 261 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 2: in Columbia for the last twenty some years and just 262 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,120 Speaker 2: everyone was just so loving and everybody had nothing but 263 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 2: great things to say about him, and again a testament 264 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 2: to the man that he was. And you know too, 265 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 2: that inspires me to want to again bring out the 266 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 2: best in people that one day, god forbid, when you pass, 267 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 2: you do have a lot of people that show up 268 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 2: and talk about all the impact that you made in 269 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 2: your life, because at the end of the day, that's 270 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 2: the life is making impact in this zen. You know, 271 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 2: if we're going to exist, we might as well make impact, right. 272 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 1: And I don't do that's good impact handle it. 273 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 2: She was good. You know, they've been separated for a while, 274 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:49,640 Speaker 2: but she was probably the strongest from all of us. 275 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:54,400 Speaker 2: I was probably second to her, you know, uh, just 276 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 2: keeping it in for the family and making sure that 277 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 2: you know, I was kind of the strong one. And 278 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:03,760 Speaker 2: and again I think one of the things that I've 279 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 2: that going through this process again, the first while I 280 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,560 Speaker 2: was there, I was just an emotional wreck, mainly on 281 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 2: my own, not around people. Around people, I kind of 282 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 2: kept it in, but just an emotional wreck when I 283 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 2: was by myself. You know, you get all these memories, 284 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 2: all these things, but you know what I and again, 285 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 2: this was sort of just wisdom that kind of came was. 286 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 2: I need to make sure he understands that I'm grateful 287 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:37,120 Speaker 2: for the time and not be mad at the fact 288 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 2: that he passed, right, Like example, why did you leave me? 289 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 2: Why couldn't you just make it one more year? You know, 290 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,800 Speaker 2: when you say things like that, I don't think they 291 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 2: get to go in peace? No, right, Versus Dad, thank 292 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 2: you for the time you were here, like it was 293 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 2: an amazing time. You know, I love you, and go 294 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 2: in peace, like I we'll take it from here, right, 295 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,640 Speaker 2: the family will still go on, Versus I think if 296 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:10,720 Speaker 2: you're just mad at the situation, you make them feel 297 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 2: bad about the situation and they can't go in peace. 298 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 2: I selfishly, we want to say why, why couldn't Why 299 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 2: are you leaving me? Why couldn't you stay another year? 300 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,680 Speaker 2: Why couldn't we just six more months and we would 301 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 2: have been traveling all over the world, cop like why? 302 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:33,080 Speaker 2: But then that, you know, doesn't let them go in peace. Yeah, 303 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,760 Speaker 2: and I was very grateful about it. Taking it like 304 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:39,120 Speaker 2: that like that sounds a little selfish to me. If 305 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,359 Speaker 2: people look at it that way. 306 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:45,639 Speaker 1: You know, it's when somebody's in their deathbed, it's like 307 00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 1: you just comfort them and you tell them all the 308 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,920 Speaker 1: talk about all the positive things that you've had together 309 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 1: in your life. And I remember you wrote a beautiful 310 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:58,200 Speaker 1: post about your dad about legacy. How did that help 311 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:01,680 Speaker 1: you stay or say goodbye to dad? You know, how 312 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 1: did it was really deep and how did it help 313 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: you through your mourn? 314 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 2: It helped a lot, you know, obviously when I wrote 315 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:14,879 Speaker 2: it is emotional. I mean I just remember just bawling 316 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,119 Speaker 2: as I was writing it. But it was what I 317 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:22,879 Speaker 2: felt at the moment, and it was me saying basically 318 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:28,480 Speaker 2: goodbye to him, you know, it was you know, making 319 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,880 Speaker 2: sure that again he knew. For me, it was important 320 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 2: that he was at peace. I can't think of anything 321 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 2: worse than leaving this earth not in peace and in 322 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 2: worry that, oh what's going to happen to this? That? This? 323 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,440 Speaker 2: And you know, for me, it was important for him 324 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,639 Speaker 2: to know that his legacy would carry on. And for 325 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,680 Speaker 2: me that was you know, I learned at a very 326 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,640 Speaker 2: young age from him to always take care of your 327 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,679 Speaker 2: parents and always take care of your life loved ones. 328 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,280 Speaker 2: And you know, he had his faults as well. You know, 329 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:04,320 Speaker 2: he wasn't a perfect man. 330 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 1: Obviously, nobody else, Yeah. 331 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 2: But man, he was always responsible for his kids, you know, 332 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 2: and he was always responsible for his parents, like you, 333 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,919 Speaker 2: took care of those and when he didn't have to. 334 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,680 Speaker 1: You know, how did your kids take it? Do they 335 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: know Grandpa pretty well? 336 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 2: Yeah? You know, CRUs took it pretty hard. Chris probably 337 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,800 Speaker 2: took the hardest of you know, she's at that age 338 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:29,199 Speaker 2: where she didn't really know too much the difference. But 339 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,119 Speaker 2: they knew him very well because I would, you know, 340 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:34,679 Speaker 2: I was because I didn't see him as much. I 341 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:39,160 Speaker 2: was very intentionable about FaceTime every Saturday with him, and 342 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,640 Speaker 2: so you know, for the most part, we spoke every Saturday, 343 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,159 Speaker 2: and I always had the kids with me when I 344 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,879 Speaker 2: spoke to him. Part of that was important to me. 345 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:51,000 Speaker 2: Obviously talking to him was important to me, but I 346 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:54,360 Speaker 2: also wanted my kids to see it, because it's one 347 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,920 Speaker 2: thing to tell your kids, hey, you need to take 348 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:02,159 Speaker 2: care of your parents. Is them seeing, you know? And 349 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:06,199 Speaker 2: I want my kids as as Teddy gets older, is 350 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,720 Speaker 2: more so for Teddy, But yeah, I guess ofishly for 351 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,920 Speaker 2: me a little bit, like I want them to remember, Hey, 352 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 2: dad was always calling Grandma. Dad was always calling Grandpa. 353 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:21,640 Speaker 2: I'm gonna do the same for him. You know, and 354 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 2: you know, things a mentor mind has always said. Things 355 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:30,919 Speaker 2: aren't taught, they're cop So those moments were important for me. 356 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 2: And the cruise was always there, and he's always you know, 357 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,320 Speaker 2: he'd always be talking to him. My oldest Bella took 358 00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 2: it pretty hard as well. You know, Teddy took it 359 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 2: pretty hard. You know, Teddy knew him and spent quite 360 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,959 Speaker 2: a lot of time with them as well, so and 361 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,720 Speaker 2: she was and she was supportive throughout it, So that 362 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 2: was it was nice to have her support. My girlfriend 363 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,480 Speaker 2: was a big support during it as well. You know, 364 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,520 Speaker 2: she had lost her dad as well, just a year prior. 365 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:05,120 Speaker 2: So that's the other thing I had such I mean, 366 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 2: what a great blessing to just have friends and loved 367 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,960 Speaker 2: ones that are just pouring in to you when you're 368 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,320 Speaker 2: going through those moments. I was really taken back by 369 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,960 Speaker 2: just all the support that I that I got from that, 370 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:25,400 Speaker 2: and but yeah, I was talking to him. I do 371 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:30,680 Speaker 2: have this peace about it, and I think a part 372 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 2: of it is just all the memories that we created. 373 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,000 Speaker 2: Like I mean, obviously you could always do more, but 374 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 2: I always I feel like, you know, we we spent 375 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,439 Speaker 2: as much time as we as we could when we 376 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 2: created some good memories. So you know, if you still 377 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:50,159 Speaker 2: have your parents, just take the time to create those memories. 378 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 2: That's that's what you remember. And again it's when you 379 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,440 Speaker 2: least expected it's great because he's eighty two. You would 380 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,040 Speaker 2: have thought I was like, all right, it's coming. I'm like, 381 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,359 Speaker 2: we still got a couple of years. You know, we're 382 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:02,040 Speaker 2: still gonna do this. Like you always think it's never 383 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,480 Speaker 2: gonna happen, and then it just comes. 384 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 1: So so what has surprised you the most through the 385 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: coping and greeting process. 386 00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 2: The piece that I've had with it now. Granted it's 387 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 2: only been you know, a month and a half since 388 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:28,440 Speaker 2: the passing, so I'm sure it's going to come in waves. 389 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,399 Speaker 2: I'm not naive to that. I'm sure when the World 390 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,000 Speaker 2: Cup comes, I'm I'm gonna be a mess because that 391 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,439 Speaker 2: was our thing together. We'd go to every World Cup together. 392 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,680 Speaker 2: He's a huge soccer fan, and I'm sure I'm gonna 393 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:45,440 Speaker 2: have those moments. But I've had this level of peace. 394 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 2: I don't know if it's just protection, you know, I 395 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 2: think there's a little part of that. I think there's 396 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:57,439 Speaker 2: a part of just you know, going and doing all 397 00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,399 Speaker 2: the things that we did and the memories we created. 398 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 2: The one thing I'd say that I do regret. I mean, 399 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:05,800 Speaker 2: I would always see him. I got pretty good at 400 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:10,879 Speaker 2: seeing him three four times a year, and the last Yeah, no, 401 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,159 Speaker 2: I was very intention about it. I mean again, I 402 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 2: started realizing as they got older. And I'm the same 403 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 2: with my mom, Like every Saturday, I try to have 404 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,800 Speaker 2: my breakfast with her and my siblings, and you know, 405 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:31,439 Speaker 2: I'm intentional about that for the most part. But I think, yeah, no, 406 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:35,840 Speaker 2: I think I feel like we spent the time that 407 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,920 Speaker 2: we needed. But what I do regret is that year 408 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:44,520 Speaker 2: in twenty twenty four, which was that tough year. Well, yeah, 409 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:50,400 Speaker 2: twenty end of twenty twenty four, beginning of twenty twenty five. Obviously, 410 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,520 Speaker 2: end of twenty twenty four was a tough time for 411 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,960 Speaker 2: me with obviously my personal situation with Teddy. Three months 412 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,840 Speaker 2: later twenty twenty five, I found out she obviously has 413 00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:04,840 Speaker 2: the brain cancer. Just a lot going in my life 414 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:08,440 Speaker 2: business at the time wasn't doing too well either, So 415 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:13,160 Speaker 2: I didn't see him for the entire twenty twenty five 416 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 2: and the last my psalm was October of twenty twenty four, 417 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,920 Speaker 2: and so yeah, I didn't see him again from that time, 418 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,040 Speaker 2: spoke all the time, I didn't see him in person, 419 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:32,239 Speaker 2: and again I just missed it, like I was, I 420 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,639 Speaker 2: had my flight, everything, and I missed it by a week. 421 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 2: So that part I regret. 422 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,639 Speaker 1: So reflecting on this experience, what is grief taught you 423 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:44,359 Speaker 1: about love? 424 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,239 Speaker 2: I mean, I mean love is everything you know, at 425 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:52,960 Speaker 2: the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much 426 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,240 Speaker 2: money you have if you don't give the loved ones 427 00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:00,680 Speaker 2: your love. And again, my dad was affect he wasn't 428 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 2: always around, but man that I always feel his love. Yeah, 429 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,639 Speaker 2: And that's something that I want to pass to my 430 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 2: children is that you know, again, you could give them 431 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 2: all the gifts, all the toys, and if you give 432 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 2: them no love, like all that doesn't matter. Like love 433 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,960 Speaker 2: is everything you know, and love cast out all fears. 434 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 2: And you know that was good. And I think for me, 435 00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,480 Speaker 2: you know, just forgiving myself too, right, because you could 436 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:32,679 Speaker 2: beat yourself up about more time, and I mean you 437 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:36,159 Speaker 2: could come up with a thousand excuses, right, But I 438 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 2: think forgiveness sort of unlocked gratitude for me, and then 439 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:46,040 Speaker 2: gratitude sort of unleashed this love about the whole situation. 440 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:48,480 Speaker 2: And you know, at the end of the day, my 441 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,840 Speaker 2: girlfriend told me this, which made a lot of sense, 442 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 2: is that, you know, he was in a body that 443 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 2: wasn't functioning anymore, and he was going through a lot 444 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:03,000 Speaker 2: of pain. And now he's a spirit and his spirit 445 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 2: lives on and that spirit can now travel so much faster. 446 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,359 Speaker 2: So now he's going to be in your heart, whereas 447 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 2: before when he was in Columbia, like, you know, you 448 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:16,199 Speaker 2: weren't going to feel him as much, but you know 449 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,959 Speaker 2: from her experience, you kept telling me that you're going 450 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:22,080 Speaker 2: to feel him a lot more in your heart and 451 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,840 Speaker 2: you're just going to see him in a lot of places. 452 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,840 Speaker 2: And yeah, that's come true. Like I feel him in 453 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:33,000 Speaker 2: my heart, you know, And yeah, I'm I'm just taking 454 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:36,080 Speaker 2: it day by day and again also knowing that there's 455 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,159 Speaker 2: probably going to be some sad times coming of just 456 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 2: remembering some good times, you know, but trying to keep 457 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 2: it positive as much as I can. 458 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 1: Now. One thing I learned when I was young was, 459 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:51,920 Speaker 1: you know, in order to become emotionally intelligent, you really 460 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:58,720 Speaker 1: gotta feel your feelings. And how long do you think 461 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,840 Speaker 1: it'll take you if if it has already happened. But 462 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 1: how long do you think it'll take to mourn the 463 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:08,359 Speaker 1: death of your father or anybody significant for you. Are 464 00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:11,199 Speaker 1: you used to going through the morning process or do 465 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 1: you think you've really just let it out already. 466 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,639 Speaker 2: No, I don't. I don't. I don't think it's something 467 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,639 Speaker 2: that will end anytime soon. And I think one of 468 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,960 Speaker 2: the things that I'm also intentional about is when they come, 469 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:24,560 Speaker 2: just let it be and not not fight it, just 470 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:29,920 Speaker 2: fight it, let it through, and again, just have those 471 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 2: great moments and memories. I mean a lot of my 472 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:38,200 Speaker 2: emotions come from gratitude with him, right, so just all 473 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:44,200 Speaker 2: these good times, and so I'm embracing them as they come, 474 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:48,160 Speaker 2: you know, so thinking I'm also not and I'm also 475 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,679 Speaker 2: not feeling bad about if they're not coming in all 476 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:56,239 Speaker 2: the time, because sometimes you're like, hey, why why am 477 00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,520 Speaker 2: I not feeling these emotions right now? And that's where 478 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 2: I think, like there's this piece that I have as well, 479 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:09,040 Speaker 2: you know where and again people are different, like, yeah, 480 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:13,399 Speaker 2: my sister's very emotional about it still, and it's just 481 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:15,959 Speaker 2: she's that's the way she's kind of going through it. 482 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:19,000 Speaker 2: So I think there's no right way or wrong way. 483 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 2: I just think we just get hit with different moments, 484 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,040 Speaker 2: I mean different ways. But just because you're at peace 485 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 2: with it, you shouldn't you shouldn't look to blame yourself 486 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:33,400 Speaker 2: either or like, why am I not feeling this? Yeah? Again, 487 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,439 Speaker 2: I know that I'm not again naive about it. I 488 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,520 Speaker 2: know it's going to come from in waves. But I'd say, 489 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:42,160 Speaker 2: since I got back from it, I've been, I've been, 490 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:43,160 Speaker 2: I've been functional. 491 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,200 Speaker 1: What message do you want to leave for someone who 492 00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,760 Speaker 1: might be listening to our podcast about gratitude and grief. 493 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:04,760 Speaker 2: I just again with gratitude again comes from forgiveness, right, 494 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:11,800 Speaker 2: if there's many I know many people that for whatever reason, 495 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 2: maybe aren't talking to their parents for whatever reason, and 496 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,400 Speaker 2: and maybe can't forgive, and you know, and maybe there's 497 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 2: things that you you don't have to forgive, But that 498 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:28,960 Speaker 2: doesn't mean that you don't show that love back, even 499 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 2: even if you're not getting it back, right, Because I 500 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:35,520 Speaker 2: do think there comes that moment where you don't want 501 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,880 Speaker 2: your parents to leave and you didn't get a chance 502 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 2: to talk to them or something that probably didn't really 503 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:46,960 Speaker 2: matter in the in the thick of things, and and yeah, 504 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 2: so that I guess that'd be the number one thing 505 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:54,280 Speaker 2: is just don't take your parents for granted, even if 506 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,560 Speaker 2: you think about it this way, like this was something 507 00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:02,520 Speaker 2: I did as well, Like my kids in a perfect world, 508 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 2: they're going to be around for a long time. That's why, 509 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,720 Speaker 2: like I go out of my way to visit mom 510 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,640 Speaker 2: on on Saturdays because I'm like, I don't know how 511 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,120 Speaker 2: much time she has left. My kids they have a 512 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:13,400 Speaker 2: little more time. So it is at the end of 513 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:14,800 Speaker 2: the world if I don't make it to one of 514 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,160 Speaker 2: the things because I want to go spend some time 515 00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,560 Speaker 2: with Mom, No, like Mom's not going to be around 516 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,280 Speaker 2: as much. So I think when I look at it 517 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 2: that way, it's helped me prioritize Mom and then just 518 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:28,280 Speaker 2: remember all the stuff they did for you when you 519 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:32,760 Speaker 2: were a kid, you know. And I think it's all reciprocal. 520 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 2: You don't do it to get it back, but you know, 521 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:40,720 Speaker 2: one day you're gonna want your kids to want to 522 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 2: spend time with you and not just become absent because 523 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 2: they're always with their grandchildren, right or with your grandchildren, right. 524 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 2: And I think that's in life, you get what you give. 525 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,880 Speaker 2: So I think if you look at it that way, 526 00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:01,640 Speaker 2: you know, it makes sense very logical with decisions, you know, 527 00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:05,360 Speaker 2: Like that's always I always tell people like I got 528 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,840 Speaker 2: common sense and I got drive, you know, and yeah, 529 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 2: that's been sort of my little formula to success. But again, 530 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:18,360 Speaker 2: I just think your your parents eventually are a lot older. 531 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,680 Speaker 2: They're probably going to pass before your kids, So spend 532 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 2: some time with them. 533 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:27,280 Speaker 1: You know, how much say do you have in your 534 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:31,680 Speaker 1: or did you have in your parents' health decisions? You know, 535 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:38,160 Speaker 1: meaning you know how most Latino men absolutely refuse to 536 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 1: go to the hospital or see a doctor. And I 537 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:42,440 Speaker 1: was in that boat for a long time before I 538 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:43,320 Speaker 1: got my heart issue. 539 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,000 Speaker 2: But yeah, I get it. 540 00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 1: I see it the same way, and I don't want 541 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,120 Speaker 1: to go to the hospital unless my arm is hanging 542 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:51,000 Speaker 1: off my you know. 543 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:54,920 Speaker 2: It's like so it's funny. My dad was good with it, 544 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:59,120 Speaker 2: and he actually became very very disciplined towards the end. 545 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,560 Speaker 2: I think that's why he as long as he did, 546 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:05,320 Speaker 2: because he was having chronic lung issues and in his sixties. 547 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:09,080 Speaker 2: And my mom though, that's the one I got to 548 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 2: like drag all the time, never wants to go to 549 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,520 Speaker 2: the hospital, and she's like, if there's an issue, there's 550 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,080 Speaker 2: an issue, you know, like that kind of stuff, and 551 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,280 Speaker 2: I'm like, Mom, that's why you know, she's like God's 552 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:25,200 Speaker 2: protected me. I'm like, Mom, God created doctors to protect you. 553 00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:27,440 Speaker 2: It's not just He's going to protect you, like we 554 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,280 Speaker 2: need doctors and that's why we need to go to 555 00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 2: the doctor. So you know, that's it's it's interesting with her. 556 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,640 Speaker 2: But yeah, you do have to sort of push them. 557 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,200 Speaker 2: And that's the thing, right we talk about the forties, 558 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 2: it's not just taking your kids to the doctor. Now 559 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,760 Speaker 2: you got to push your parents to go to the 560 00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:47,520 Speaker 2: doctor as well, and it becomes a lot. 561 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:54,880 Speaker 1: Is your mom really into natural remedies, natural like health? 562 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,680 Speaker 2: No, for the most part with her, she's you know, 563 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 2: she's she's pretty hell healthy. But no, she's just one 564 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:07,440 Speaker 2: of those you know, natural ladies that has never really 565 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 2: had health issues. Her mom lived a long time too, 566 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:14,560 Speaker 2: so but again, she is getting at that age of 567 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:16,480 Speaker 2: like you start to worry a little bit, you know. 568 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 2: And they live by themselves, they're older, you know. Luckily 569 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 2: for me, my sister's always around and they live closer 570 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,640 Speaker 2: to her than I do. So that's been a blessing 571 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:34,880 Speaker 2: as well. That helps. That helps. Yeah, what's the latest 572 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:35,479 Speaker 2: with your grandma? 573 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:38,320 Speaker 1: By the way, well, she's living with my aunt, and 574 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,240 Speaker 1: you know, I tell my aunt all the time, I 575 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,840 Speaker 1: could not do what she's doing. She ended up moving 576 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,600 Speaker 1: back to my aunt's house, and my aunt decided to 577 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:50,520 Speaker 1: take care of her full time, which is I think 578 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,920 Speaker 1: the primary reason why my grandmother is still around. It's 579 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:57,000 Speaker 1: just she just takes great care of her, feeds her healthy, 580 00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,320 Speaker 1: spends a lot of time with her, and it's it's 581 00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 1: just a positive thing for both of them, but it's 582 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,840 Speaker 1: definitely draining my aunt. And I can see it in 583 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,400 Speaker 1: her and I can see it in her health, and 584 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:12,120 Speaker 1: I you know, I applaud her every time I see her, 585 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:15,080 Speaker 1: and like, if there's anything you need, I can't do 586 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,719 Speaker 1: what you're doing, but I can. I can help you financially. 587 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:20,800 Speaker 1: I can hire a nurse to give you a break. 588 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,960 Speaker 1: I can you know, whatever it takes, I can help 589 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:28,600 Speaker 1: you financially. But I had one experience, and only one experience, 590 00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,640 Speaker 1: when my grandmother was bedridden and I went to help 591 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,680 Speaker 1: to visit and my aunt asked me to help her 592 00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,120 Speaker 1: pick her up out of the bed because she couldn't 593 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,560 Speaker 1: get up herself, and help her go to the bathroom. 594 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,799 Speaker 1: And that's when I realized, yeah, I can't do this. 595 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:49,279 Speaker 1: I just can't do this, you know, not the physical part. 596 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,239 Speaker 1: I can do the physical part all day, But it 597 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:55,200 Speaker 1: takes a special human to be able to take care 598 00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:57,800 Speaker 1: of a person that you know needs that much help, 599 00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:01,160 Speaker 1: just as it takes a special person to be in 600 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:04,840 Speaker 1: the er and help people, you know in those circumstances 601 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,479 Speaker 1: when they come in you know, either shot or after 602 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:10,279 Speaker 1: a car accident or you know, their livers, you know, 603 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,480 Speaker 1: giving up or whatever. It's just I'm not that person 604 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:15,160 Speaker 1: that person. 605 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:19,719 Speaker 2: Shout out to the caregivers and yeah, actors and just 606 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:21,359 Speaker 2: a lot same. 607 00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,440 Speaker 1: There's some amazing people in this world. 608 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:28,480 Speaker 2: There is. Yeah, yeah, no, it's DoD. Do you and 609 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:32,560 Speaker 2: Tamra ever talk about death at all? Or is it 610 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:37,400 Speaker 2: just something you guys don't even bring up? Not in length. 611 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:42,520 Speaker 1: Her mother is seventy four and just doing great. You know, 612 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:47,239 Speaker 1: she is starting to go, you know, have eye issues 613 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:51,640 Speaker 1: and you know, back issues. She just recently had shoulder surgery. 614 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,960 Speaker 1: She mentioned recently as she talked to her dad and 615 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,520 Speaker 1: he didn't sound the same. You know, he's getting older, 616 00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,959 Speaker 1: and you know, she sees what's going on with my ground. 617 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:04,200 Speaker 1: You know, she's she She's avoided death probably in the 618 00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:08,120 Speaker 1: last decade, probably ten times. She's just she's a fighter. 619 00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:12,080 Speaker 1: So those those are the limited conversations. And obviously, you know, 620 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:14,960 Speaker 1: we talk about our death, like who's gonna what's going 621 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,000 Speaker 1: to happen, you know, if I go or you go, 622 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,839 Speaker 1: and hopefully I go before she goes or she goes. 623 00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:23,600 Speaker 1: I kind of kind of talks like that, but nothing 624 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:27,160 Speaker 1: real serious, like, you know, we need to start planning 625 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:31,440 Speaker 1: our death, because in one hand, because most of my 626 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,279 Speaker 1: friends are older, the conversations are, you know, I got 627 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:35,640 Speaker 1: to go to this funeral, I got to go to 628 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,880 Speaker 1: that funeral, and you know, we start talking about those things, 629 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:45,319 Speaker 1: and my you know, my biggest fear is, like I 630 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:49,040 Speaker 1: think I mentioned earlier, is like being incapable of going 631 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,399 Speaker 1: to the bathroom by myself. I don't want to get there. 632 00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,000 Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with that. I don't want 633 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,480 Speaker 1: to be bedridden. I don't want to you know, I'm 634 00:36:56,520 --> 00:37:00,120 Speaker 1: such an active person. I exercise it. Just if if 635 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:04,080 Speaker 1: I don't exercise, I feel dead. So I can't imagine 636 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,720 Speaker 1: a life where I'm sitting on some you know, stupid 637 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,920 Speaker 1: chair watching TV all day long and you know, just 638 00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,880 Speaker 1: waiting to die, right. I don't want that life and. 639 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:15,040 Speaker 2: She knows that. 640 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,480 Speaker 1: And we also have talked about, you know, like what 641 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,880 Speaker 1: do you want to do with your remains, you know, 642 00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:24,040 Speaker 1: and I said, well, I want to be cremated. And 643 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,839 Speaker 1: I know that goes against the Catholic religion and which 644 00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:29,319 Speaker 1: is how I grew up. But I'm not a very 645 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:33,360 Speaker 1: religious kind of guy. You know, I'm spiritual, but I 646 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:38,440 Speaker 1: just find it easier to be cremated, more economical, and 647 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 1: you know, maybe I'll think of a place that reminds 648 00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,280 Speaker 1: me that I want my kids to spread my ashes. 649 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:45,520 Speaker 2: You know. 650 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,520 Speaker 1: Some people say the ocean because they're you know, ocean people. 651 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,840 Speaker 1: Some people say the desert. I'm actually going this Saturday 652 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:58,440 Speaker 1: to visit a friend who just passed recently, and he 653 00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,040 Speaker 1: loved the desert, you know, bring surge and grew up 654 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,040 Speaker 1: in the desert, just loved the desert, mountain, biked in 655 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,600 Speaker 1: the desert, lived this life in the desert, and they 656 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:10,960 Speaker 1: ended up spreading his ashes in Joshua Tree. So, you know, 657 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:14,160 Speaker 1: everybody has a special place in the world where they 658 00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:16,040 Speaker 1: might want to be. I don't want to be under 659 00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:17,960 Speaker 1: the ground. I don't want a place where you know, 660 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:19,960 Speaker 1: people come visit me and mourn. 661 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:20,120 Speaker 2: And all that. 662 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:27,120 Speaker 1: I just don't see that for me. But and you know, 663 00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:28,960 Speaker 1: if anything, I just want to be remembered in a 664 00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 1: positive way. Like we talked earlier, nobody's perfect. I've made 665 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:37,200 Speaker 1: my mistakes in life, but I just don't want people 666 00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:39,680 Speaker 1: to mourn me too long or forever, you know. 667 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:45,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think part of that is showing people 668 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,560 Speaker 2: that you lived a good life, right Like showing your 669 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,200 Speaker 2: kids like that you lived a good life, and where 670 00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,319 Speaker 2: they're not mourning for you because they're like, you know what, 671 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:56,040 Speaker 2: this person lived a good life. You may like impact 672 00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,120 Speaker 2: they lived a long time, and then what you were 673 00:38:58,120 --> 00:38:59,000 Speaker 2: supposed to do, So. 674 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,400 Speaker 1: Take the bull by the horns and go live your life. 675 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:02,839 Speaker 2: You know. 676 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:06,080 Speaker 1: I want our kids to be just living a great 677 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:09,560 Speaker 1: life themselves. So I definitely don't want to be a burden. 678 00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,000 Speaker 1: But you know, that day will come and hopefully we 679 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,759 Speaker 1: have enough money that we don't burden our children to 680 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,920 Speaker 1: take care of us, you know, because that's kind of 681 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,040 Speaker 1: what's happening with my aunt. It's not a burden that 682 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:23,080 Speaker 1: she doesn't take it as a burden, but it's definitely 683 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:27,520 Speaker 1: stifling her life, you know, because everything's about my grandmother 684 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:31,359 Speaker 1: right now. And just when you think, you know, like 685 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,200 Speaker 1: I said, when she was in hospice, this was six 686 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,520 Speaker 1: months ago. I think I started having those feelings like, 687 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:41,000 Speaker 1: oh shit, it's about to happen. It's around the corner. 688 00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,040 Speaker 1: This is I don't know how I'm gonna take it. 689 00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:47,680 Speaker 1: And I shared this with my aunt. I had a moment, 690 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:52,320 Speaker 1: and I rarely have these moments, but I was visiting 691 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:54,640 Speaker 1: her at the hospital and she was, you know, all 692 00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,920 Speaker 1: these tubes and prods and everything, and she did not 693 00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,960 Speaker 1: look good, and the prospectus was good, and I'm like, 694 00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:04,359 Speaker 1: oh shit. So I had to go somewhere and on 695 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,600 Speaker 1: my way to that destination, and I just you know, 696 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,080 Speaker 1: started feeling like, oh shit, this is it, this is 697 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,879 Speaker 1: going to happen. And I pulled into a grocery store 698 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:15,200 Speaker 1: a bought a big bag of chocolate and I said, yeah, 699 00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:18,080 Speaker 1: this has to make me feel better because I feel 700 00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:22,200 Speaker 1: terrible about life right now, about what my grandma's going through. 701 00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:25,040 Speaker 1: And I ate the whole damn bag. And it didn't work. 702 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:29,160 Speaker 1: I didn't feel better, but it did make me sick. 703 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,640 Speaker 1: But you know, it was that moment that I realized, 704 00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:36,279 Speaker 1: oh shit, how am I going to take it when 705 00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:41,279 Speaker 1: when this happens, you know, like like, what's going to 706 00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:41,799 Speaker 1: happen to me? 707 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:42,239 Speaker 2: You know? 708 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,640 Speaker 1: I know I'm going to feel those feelings that you 709 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,120 Speaker 1: went through with your dad. Yeah, but how am I 710 00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:50,400 Speaker 1: going to really? Am I just going to need like 711 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:53,279 Speaker 1: a day by myself? Am I just going to need 712 00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:57,520 Speaker 1: a week by myself? You know? I don't have any 713 00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,000 Speaker 1: idea what to expect, bro. 714 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,719 Speaker 2: I really don't, And you don't know until you go 715 00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:06,440 Speaker 2: through it. I mean, it's it's you know, it's interesting 716 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,000 Speaker 2: because when I would never know what to say to 717 00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,200 Speaker 2: someone that had a severe loss because I'd never really 718 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:15,520 Speaker 2: gone through it, and I'm glad I didn't, because you 719 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:18,120 Speaker 2: don't know until you go through it. You know. It's 720 00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:20,600 Speaker 2: just you know, it's one of it's it's definitely tough, 721 00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:25,319 Speaker 2: but like anything time heels, you know. So that's that. 722 00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,240 Speaker 2: But I think we got to wrap up, Eddie, Okay. 723 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,200 Speaker 2: I know, well, welcome brother. 724 00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:35,200 Speaker 1: That was to thank you so much for sharing your experience, 725 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:38,200 Speaker 1: and I hope our listeners can you know, learn something 726 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:41,560 Speaker 1: from that. If you have any suggestions or comments or 727 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,560 Speaker 1: just want to share your story, please you know on 728 00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:48,640 Speaker 1: their review section right your story maybe send us an email. 729 00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:49,319 Speaker 2: We're happy to. 730 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:50,759 Speaker 1: You know, read it. 731 00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:52,799 Speaker 2: You know we're as that. 732 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we're just we're just like you guys. We're humans. 733 00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:59,879 Speaker 1: So thank you so much for listening, and we'll catch 734 00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:04,440 Speaker 1: you on the next one. Mm