WEBVTT - Minisode: Toffee Pudding with Rosebud Baker and Andy Haynes

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to a couple's Counseling with Chelsea. I am

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<v Speaker 1>here with my friends Rosebud Baker and her husband Andy Haynes. Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>Rosebud and Andy, thank you for being here today as

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<v Speaker 1>a couple.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you for thank you for having us because we

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<v Speaker 2>haven't been to couples there being a few weeks.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, great, that's why I would like to fill the void. However,

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<v Speaker 1>I can. I know that you guys have had a lot,

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<v Speaker 1>You have a long history together, right, Can you break

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<v Speaker 1>that down for our listeners, give us kind of like

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<v Speaker 1>a summary. Sure, When you first became sexually attracted to Andy?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes?

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<v Speaker 2>So, so the first time I met Andy was at

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<v Speaker 2>our friend's wedding.

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<v Speaker 3>It was the first time that I met you, But

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<v Speaker 3>it was the first time that we like hung out.

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<v Speaker 2>And I wouldn't describe it as like a strong, burning

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<v Speaker 2>sexual attraction. I would say I enjoyed being around him

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<v Speaker 2>because he made me laugh.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and that to me is sexually attractive.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you know what I'm saying. But it wasn't like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>this guy's gonna wreck me.

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<v Speaker 4>No, historical women have not been sexually attracted to me.

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<v Speaker 4>It's aid more of a breaking them down kind of processing.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, And that's where you had to come in with

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<v Speaker 1>a humor exactly to develop the humor, because the humor

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<v Speaker 1>is a much more powerful aphrodisiac than looks anyway, right,

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the way

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<v Speaker 1>that you look. I just want to I just want

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<v Speaker 1>to acknowledge that we're all sitting here together and that we're.

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<v Speaker 2>Just starting there. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with how you look. Andy,

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<v Speaker 2>thanks so much.

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<v Speaker 4>So.

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<v Speaker 1>I remember, if I recall correctly, you guys kind of

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<v Speaker 1>like left that party together, didn't you, and you kind

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<v Speaker 1>of spent the next what four or five hours together?

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<v Speaker 2>We took it, We took a Yeah, we took a

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<v Speaker 2>drive together, and then Andy tried to come upstairs and

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, you know, and then like three days later,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, actually maybe, and then we hung out.

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<v Speaker 2>We slept together once and basically he moved into my apartment.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh wow.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. It was like very impulsive alcoholic vibes, but.

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<v Speaker 1>You weren't drinking at that time, where, you know, but

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<v Speaker 1>you got.

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<v Speaker 5>To find where you can get them, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, yeah, absolutely, And when you're both sober, isn't there

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<v Speaker 1>a rule that you shouldn't be dating.

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<v Speaker 3>There's no rules for us. It's like we've been sober.

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<v Speaker 1>Long enough, so that wasn't a part of the attraction

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<v Speaker 1>was that he was sober.

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<v Speaker 2>It was part of it, yeah, because it was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>we have like a similar language. There's like a he

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<v Speaker 2>works on himself, that kind of a thing where I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, Oh, he's in therapy, he's sober. I was

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<v Speaker 2>attracted to both of those things. He's funny and also

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<v Speaker 2>he's like as impulsive and down for whatever as I am.

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<v Speaker 2>So that automatically was like, Oh, he's so easy to

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<v Speaker 2>be around. I'm so excited to be around this person.

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<v Speaker 2>We had so much fun. And then we got engaged

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<v Speaker 2>like nine months later.

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<v Speaker 4>Uh huh, I think six six six months later, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>pretty sure.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, we hooked up for the first time like in

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<v Speaker 5>October and we were engaged my birthday.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, okay, so yeah, we got engaged five months.

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<v Speaker 1>And were you when you started dating Rosebud? Were you like,

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<v Speaker 1>this is it? This is the woman for me?

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<v Speaker 5>It was weird.

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<v Speaker 4>It was like I was like had been freshly single

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<v Speaker 4>for the first time in a long time, where I

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<v Speaker 4>wasn't being a compulsive monogamist and then I.

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<v Speaker 1>Thought you were just going to say you had like

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<v Speaker 1>a sex addiction.

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, no, I had better odds.

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<v Speaker 5>But you have to consent.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you can't. You have to be more than funny

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<v Speaker 1>to have a sex addiction. You can't just use your humor.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, because I'm also very fickle. It's a bad combination.

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<v Speaker 4>But I met her and we hit it off, and

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<v Speaker 4>I was like kind of like, oh, I'm not going

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<v Speaker 4>to get in a relationship, and then things moved really fast.

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<v Speaker 4>And not to spill the tea, but Rosebud said I

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<v Speaker 4>love you first.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, said while we were having sex.

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<v Speaker 5>While we're having sex.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, doesn't count when you say that while you're

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<v Speaker 1>having sex, because it's like everyone's impulse.

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<v Speaker 5>Is when she stopped and she said I think I

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<v Speaker 5>love you.

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<v Speaker 1>And then continued to have sex.

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<v Speaker 5>I think we were done, but we were.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, post coital, so someone had climaxed. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm guessing that was you, not Rosebud.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm a pretty gen I would say I was raised

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<v Speaker 4>by women, not that.

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<v Speaker 1>That were you sleeping with those women.

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<v Speaker 4>I had to go down on my mom alone. No,

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<v Speaker 4>but I just I never was one of those guys.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, I definitely not pleased a woman, Let's let's

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<v Speaker 4>get that out there. But I think I'm a pretty

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<v Speaker 4>reciprocal lover, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, this is a little off piece, but I

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<v Speaker 1>was just watching this news show that's coming out on

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<v Speaker 1>Stars because I was interviewing the author, and there was

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<v Speaker 1>a blowjob scene where one of the girls, Betty Gilpin,

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<v Speaker 1>she plays one of the girls. It's called Three Women

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<v Speaker 1>by Lisa Todeo. They made it a TV show and

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<v Speaker 1>she's having an affair with the guy and she gives

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<v Speaker 1>a blowjob in the backseat with like a toffee pudding.

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<v Speaker 1>She got a to go toffee pudding, poured it over

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<v Speaker 1>his penis and was sucking on it. And I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>this is going to be such inspiration for so many

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<v Speaker 1>women and men when they see this.

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<v Speaker 3>Speakers doing much for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, you have to see it, and then you have

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<v Speaker 1>to think about how how wonderful that's going to be

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<v Speaker 1>for yourself actual partner, because I'm not even in a

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<v Speaker 1>serious relationship. And I was like, I can't wait to

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<v Speaker 1>do this to someone because it just seems so pleasure giving.

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<v Speaker 1>So I just want to throw that out there. That

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<v Speaker 1>just hit me. I mean, I'm not ordering you know,

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<v Speaker 1>you to do it.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just say maybe you are giving him ideas I'm giving.

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<v Speaker 1>You, guys, and you could possibly flip it a reverse

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<v Speaker 1>it and use it on her so that she doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>even have to do it.

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<v Speaker 5>That seems.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I saw it and I was like this needs like

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<v Speaker 1>this is good. Whoever thought this up? Like, I just

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<v Speaker 1>thought this was going to be helpful for so many

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<v Speaker 1>couples that have hit Not that you guys have hit

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<v Speaker 1>a stale place in your relationship, but I.

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<v Speaker 3>Just had a kid, So that's that's a you hit it.

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<v Speaker 3>You hit a wall for sure.

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<v Speaker 1>What Okay, what's that? What's the what is that? What

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<v Speaker 1>is the wall that you hit?

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<v Speaker 2>You just you become like kind of like farm hands

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<v Speaker 2>in your own home, and you just sort of are

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<v Speaker 2>like you're just like doing tasks all day and then

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<v Speaker 2>by the time you're done, you're both just like, oh

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<v Speaker 2>got like the most sexual thing you can think of

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<v Speaker 2>is lying in bed without anyone touching you, because truly,

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<v Speaker 2>there's just someone pulling your hair out all day.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>I think I got like Rosebud went through so much,

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<v Speaker 4>like her body changed so much, and then she had

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<v Speaker 4>to literally get her organs moved around to get the

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<v Speaker 4>baby out, and I was kind of like, I don't

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<v Speaker 4>think she wants anybody touching her for a while, and

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<v Speaker 4>so I kind of took that as my guiding principles

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<v Speaker 4>for the first four months.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it was about four months before I was ready

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<v Speaker 2>to like, let's get into it.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's get the party started again. Well, that's very respectful

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<v Speaker 1>and necessary for men to actually understand what happens to

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<v Speaker 1>a woman's body and her insides, because yeah, anyone who

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<v Speaker 1>has a baby isn't a horny right who has just

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<v Speaker 1>had a baby.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, I mean.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess there's women that are, but I'm like, but

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<v Speaker 2>are there. I'm just like, if they are, I wish

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<v Speaker 2>they'd keep it to themselves.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right, because it's a downer and it's not fair

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<v Speaker 1>to give men that kind of idea.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, right, yes, exactly.

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<v Speaker 4>I do kind of wish I was the kind of

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<v Speaker 4>man that didn't care, you know what I mean. I

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<v Speaker 4>think I would like to be.

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<v Speaker 3>Because it's like alpha fantasy.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah yeah, right, Like you.

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<v Speaker 4>Know, I work on Wall Street and I check in

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<v Speaker 4>with her once in a while about her days, and

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<v Speaker 4>then I cheat on her with someone.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but he doesn't listen to anything I say. He

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<v Speaker 2>wants to be that man, but he's not.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, you guys have different even though you have a

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<v Speaker 1>lot in common, you have different personality types. Very you

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<v Speaker 1>like to plan shit, and you don't want anything to

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<v Speaker 1>do with planning.

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<v Speaker 3>No, I don't want to.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't either.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't neurologically opposed to it.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't like any logistical talk. Yes, I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to look on a map and I don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>plan where we're going. I don't want you to tell

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<v Speaker 1>me where to be. And then I'll bring a fucking

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<v Speaker 1>funny personality or whatever. It'll be upbeat.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I'll bring the party and you can bring the map. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>that's how I feel. But is this a point of

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<v Speaker 2>contention ever?

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<v Speaker 1>Like, does it ever escalate into a fight because your

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<v Speaker 1>planning becomes so annoying to her?

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<v Speaker 4>Well, the the problem is is that Rosebud doesn't plan anything.

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<v Speaker 4>And then you know, I have an entire life over here.

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<v Speaker 1>At one Wall Street.

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<v Speaker 4>Is that the wry Yeah, I work at the Patriot

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<v Speaker 4>Center and the head of four X there. But no,

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, like, you know, we have different schedules and

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<v Speaker 4>then like I'll try to do something where it's like, hey,

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<v Speaker 4>would you like to do something as married people? And

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<v Speaker 4>she I have to coordinate that because her schedule's so

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<v Speaker 4>busy and she gets so annoyed by just the asking

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<v Speaker 4>of it, to where.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm like, all right, I'm not going to plan anything anymore.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and then and then I'm like, where are we

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<v Speaker 3>going on dates?

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah? It does.

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<v Speaker 2>It bothers me. I wish I wasn't like this. I

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<v Speaker 2>do try to like take a deep breath now.

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<v Speaker 1>It gets so easily irritated.

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<v Speaker 2>By the way I do get freely irritated. I know

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<v Speaker 2>exactly what you mean, not even it doesn't even make sense.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not even at him. It's like anyone in my

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<v Speaker 2>life that asks me like, hey, what do you have

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<v Speaker 2>this weekend of this month in this year, and I

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<v Speaker 2>just immediately shut down.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, I don't even want to talk to you anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>I agree. I don't like when people ask me in

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<v Speaker 1>advance for things. It's like, who fucking knows? I could

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<v Speaker 1>be dead by that. You know, it hit me back on,

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<v Speaker 1>say back on the Tuesday.

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<v Speaker 3>Before the Wednesday, and I'll let you know, right I

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<v Speaker 3>could be in the hospital.

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<v Speaker 1>So with those things, can't you just go into her

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<v Speaker 1>calendar and schedule a dinner and put it in there sometimes?

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<v Speaker 5>But isn't that it's not always there.

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<v Speaker 4>But I'm more like, I want to do something for

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<v Speaker 4>a week in the summer, you know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 4>Like that, like, and I know that Rosebud's going to

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<v Speaker 4>fill the entire calendar with work if she can, so

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<v Speaker 4>I have to be like, can we do this?

0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:31.400
<v Speaker 5>And she usually now.

0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.280
<v Speaker 4>Will go like, Okay, I'm not going to do anything

0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:35.680
<v Speaker 4>for these two weeks or something like that, And so

0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:36.360
<v Speaker 4>that's my That.

0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:38.400
<v Speaker 1>Was kind of like your Christmas trip that you had

0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:41.360
<v Speaker 1>planned for Rosebud's birthday that she canceled, which was for

0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:44.840
<v Speaker 1>you because you like skiing. You guys were coming, and

0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:46.680
<v Speaker 1>then she pulled out and was like, no, no, I

0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:48.079
<v Speaker 1>don't like these plans for you.

0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:52.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, that was true. That was actually a rare

0:09:52.440 --> 0:09:56.600
<v Speaker 2>occasion though where Andy was like, a WEE can cancel?

0:09:57.160 --> 0:09:59.360
<v Speaker 2>Was he was disappointed, but he wasn't like I could

0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:01.520
<v Speaker 2>tell he was as overwhelmed as I was.

0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:03.640
<v Speaker 1>Well, traveling with a baby is fucking up.

0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:07.280
<v Speaker 2>It was absolutely, I mean, we had done it all summer,

0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:09.200
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, we went from being like the

0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:14.199
<v Speaker 2>most dignified people in the airport to being just everything

0:10:14.240 --> 0:10:18.440
<v Speaker 2>on our backs, like like squatting in a corner feeding her.

0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:19.000
<v Speaker 1>Like.

0:10:19.040 --> 0:10:21.240
<v Speaker 2>It was just it was crazy to me how the

0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:24.400
<v Speaker 2>stuff that I used to judge parents for in the airport.

0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:26.960
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, this is an unavoidable reality of

0:10:27.080 --> 0:10:29.960
<v Speaker 2>just like moving around with a baby. Yeah, And I

0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:33.040
<v Speaker 2>was like, this is I told myself I will never

0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:35.480
<v Speaker 2>I would be pregnant. It was like seven months pregnant

0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:38.679
<v Speaker 2>walking by these one and being like not me, and

0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:41.559
<v Speaker 2>it fully was. It was just disgusting.

0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:44.440
<v Speaker 4>I was like, because I love Whistler, That's what the

0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:46.360
<v Speaker 4>first place I ever skied when I was two years old,

0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:48.920
<v Speaker 4>So I was super excited. And then the idea of

0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:50.600
<v Speaker 4>getting on the plane with the baby, I was like,

0:10:50.679 --> 0:10:52.600
<v Speaker 4>I don't ever need to travel again.

0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:53.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:54.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think it beat us down.

0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:57.280
<v Speaker 1>And that's all for this week with Rosebud and Andy.

0:10:57.480 --> 0:11:01.720
<v Speaker 1>Tune in next time as we continue couples counseling at Chelsea.

0:11:01.840 --> 0:11:04.079
<v Speaker 1>You can check out Rosebud and Andy's podcast. It's called

0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:07.120
<v Speaker 1>Find Your Beach. Andy will be on tour in Dallas,

0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:11.280
<v Speaker 1>Oklahoma City and Tulsa in September, Amsterdam on October twenty fifth,

0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:14.400
<v Speaker 1>and then he has two dates in Milwaukee in December,

0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:17.560
<v Speaker 1>so check out his Instagram and TikTok at I'm Andy

0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:22.200
<v Speaker 1>Haynes hay Nes for tickets to those dates and for more,

0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:25.120
<v Speaker 1>and you can find both Andy and Rosebud on YouTube.

0:11:25.360 --> 0:11:28.160
<v Speaker 1>Rosebud will be taping her new special on September sixteenth

0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:30.120
<v Speaker 1>in New York at the Village Underground and you can

0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:32.040
<v Speaker 1>get tickets to this and more of her dates at

0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:34.840
<v Speaker 1>rosebud Baker dot com and you can find her on

0:11:34.880 --> 0:11:38.840
<v Speaker 1>Instagram and TikTok at rosebud Baker. Upcoming shows that I have.

0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:41.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm coming to Texas, I'm coming to Saint Louis and

0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:44.120
<v Speaker 1>Kansas City, and then I will be in Las Vegas

0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:48.240
<v Speaker 1>performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. I'm

0:11:48.240 --> 0:11:51.440
<v Speaker 1>coming to Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on

0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:55.840
<v Speaker 1>November eighth, and I have tickets on sale throughout the

0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:59.080
<v Speaker 1>end of the year in December, so if you're in

0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:03.320
<v Speaker 1>a city like Philadelphia or Bethlehem, or San Diego or

0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:06.800
<v Speaker 1>New Orleans or Omaha, check Chelsea handler dot com for

0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:07.800
<v Speaker 1>Dickens okay,