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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

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Speaker 3: We wanted to do something that highlighted our.

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Speaker 2: Relationships and what it's like to be siblings. We are

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Speaker 2: a sibling railvalry.

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Speaker 4: No, no, sibling rival.

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Speaker 2: Don't do that with your mouth, Vely, that's.

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Speaker 3: Good, Ah, Oliver Hudson, It's Oliver Hudson, Oliver Roules Hudson.

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Speaker 2: I just went on a run and I'm a little sweaty,

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Speaker 2: and I'm taking a million supplements and I'm injecting myself

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Speaker 2: with peptides and I'm getting to this place it's strange

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Speaker 2: where I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm

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Speaker 2: transitioning from like an old Oliver to a kind of

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Speaker 2: a new Oliver, shedding a bit of skin, so to speak,

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Speaker 2: like a fucking snake where all of a sudden, I'm

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Speaker 2: not drinking, I'm not smoking cigarettes, I'm not doing anything.

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Speaker 2: I'm eating healthy, I'm taking supplements and I feel incredible.

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Speaker 2: But at the same time, I'm like, who am I?

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Speaker 2: I have to like adjust to this new me and

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure how it's going anyway. Maybe I can

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Speaker 2: talk to our guests about these issues, even though they are.

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Speaker 2: I think they're child therapists, but I think they're family

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Speaker 2: and child so their parents too. Maybe they can help

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Speaker 2: me out. This is a pretty good segue. It was unintentional,

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Speaker 2: but Ashley Graver and Maria Evans, let's bring them on

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Speaker 2: and let's talk about my my problems.

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Speaker 4: Shall we?

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Speaker 5: Hi?

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Speaker 2: There? Hi, Oliver, Hey, guys, how are you good?

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Speaker 5: Nice to meet you?

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Speaker 2: So in my intro because I do weird intros and

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Speaker 2: you know whatever, But I was talking about myself. We're

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Speaker 2: going to get into kids. I've been in therapy for

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Speaker 2: a thousand years. I went to the Hoffmann Institute. I'm

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Speaker 2: always trying to work on my shit. It's never ending,

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Speaker 2: and I think that is a comforting thing to sort

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Speaker 2: of think about because we're looking for an end and

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Speaker 2: there is no end. We are all going to suffer

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Speaker 2: throughout our lives, but it's just about mitigating it and

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Speaker 2: understanding why we suffer, which helps, right. I mean, this

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Speaker 2: is my own interpretation. Suffering may be a large word,

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Speaker 2: but you know, it's a never ending process. Because there

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Speaker 2: is no end. We can always sort of be better,

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Speaker 2: we can always be introspective and want to understand who

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Speaker 2: we are. Sometimes though I wish I didn't, because I

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Speaker 2: know people who don't give a shit, you know, and

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Speaker 2: it's almost like their lives are better because they just

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Speaker 2: don't care. They just accept who they are, all flaws

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Speaker 2: and everything, and have no desire to sort of change

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Speaker 2: or shift, so there's no anxiety attached to it. You know,

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Speaker 2: I'm anxiety prone, you know, since my twenties. I'm on

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Speaker 2: legs of bro and you know I'm a very sensitive

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Speaker 2: sort of being, I guess. But anyway, I was just

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Speaker 2: talking in my intro about how I'm starting this new

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Speaker 2: sort of chapter in my life where I am on

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Speaker 2: a healthcake. I was drinking too much, I was smoking cigarettes.

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Speaker 2: I was just in a foggy, shitty place. I decided

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Speaker 2: to do a battery of tests, taking supplements, taking peptides,

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Speaker 2: not drinking, and I feel incredible. Okay, but here's the psychology.

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Speaker 2: It almost feels like I don't know who I am.

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Speaker 2: More strangely, I'm so used to that other person that

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Speaker 2: there is some anxiety around even feeling like my best

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Speaker 2: self because of transitioning into sort of someone who I'm

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Speaker 2: not too familiar with. Does this make sense in any way?

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Speaker 5: It does? It absolutely makes sense. It you know, when

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Speaker 5: we are used to doing things a certain way, getting

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Speaker 5: to know doing it a different way is uncomfortable because

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Speaker 5: it's unknown. We sometimes talk about if there's a dirty

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Speaker 5: pond and a clear pond, and you're used to swimming

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Speaker 5: in the dirty pond, but somebody says, hey, there's a

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Speaker 5: clear pond next door, why don't you go swim in.

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Speaker 5: It makes a lot of sense you'd want to go

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Speaker 5: get in that clear pond. But most people get in

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Speaker 5: that clear pond and say, wait a minute, I don't

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Speaker 5: know this pond at all. I'm going to go back

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Speaker 5: to the one that I know. And it's not that

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Speaker 5: we're going to make changes overnight or be used things.

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Speaker 5: We kind of have to get used to this idea

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Speaker 5: of we're going to take one. It's that idea of

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Speaker 5: when one step forward a couple of steps back, we're

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Speaker 5: gon we're going to try to get used to something

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Speaker 5: and maybe default back to what we already know as

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Speaker 5: we're moving towards something different.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. I mean I have friends who

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Speaker 2: are like that in sort of the dating world. You know,

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Speaker 2: older guys like my age or fifty, who are so

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Speaker 2: used to living and so comfortable in the chaos that

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Speaker 2: in order to step into something healthy they can't, you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean. It's easier to live in the

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Speaker 2: pain of the chaos and the uncertainty in the back

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Speaker 2: and the forth, even though it's so destroying for them,

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Speaker 2: and they don't understand why why can't I find love?

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Speaker 2: Why can't I do this? I'm like, well, because you're

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Speaker 2: just comfortable in the why you're comfortable in all of that?

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Speaker 2: You know, and when you make an effort to step

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Speaker 2: outside and to find some purity or to try to

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Speaker 2: work on yourself, I fucked out. Let me just go

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Speaker 2: back to this. So interesting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And as someone who's done a lot of therapy,

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Speaker 1: you probably know that our unconscious minds are drawn to

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Speaker 1: recreating the patterns that we're used to, even if they're

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Speaker 1: not good for us. So we'll find ourselves drawn again

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Speaker 1: and again in the same dynamics, the same situations, not

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Speaker 1: wanting to be but just drawn there. And part of

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Speaker 1: therapy is becoming more aware so that you can make

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Speaker 1: a different choice.

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Speaker 2: Do you think that's a learned behavior or do you

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Speaker 2: think there's it's a primal thing. You know, I'm wanting

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Speaker 2: from an evolutionary standpoint and going back and getting a

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Speaker 2: little deeper on it. But you know, I totally agree

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Speaker 2: with that our subconscious sort of takes us back to

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Speaker 2: those things. I wonder if that was some sort of

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Speaker 2: a defense mechanism, you know, for back in the day,

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Speaker 2: or if this is something that is sort of environmental,

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Speaker 2: so to speak.

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Speaker 1: That's a very good question. I guess I would wonder

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Speaker 1: when did the unconscious mind develop? Did Caveman have an

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Speaker 1: unconscious or were they just operating out of pure impulse?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 1: And and where did those behavioral patterns get set. We

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Speaker 1: know that once you're used to even you know, opening

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Speaker 1: your milk a certain way or opening the door a

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Speaker 1: certain way, that you're going to do it every single

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Speaker 1: time the same way. Right, So we know some things

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Speaker 1: are totally wired.

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Speaker 2: That's a great question, early man, Caveman, I mean, did

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Speaker 2: they have I think of course they must have had

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Speaker 2: an unconscious mind. How why wouldn't they?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean we know that animals dream.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Oh we've tapped into something. Maybe that's our

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Speaker 2: that's our next book, the three of Us. This is

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Speaker 2: Caveman the unconscious mind.

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Speaker 4: That's right. Let's go back to those times. How did

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Speaker 4: cavemen date.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, honestly, it would be a pretty evil

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Speaker 2: So I had a dating book for the caveman. Well,

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Speaker 2: I love that you guys are in the child world,

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Speaker 2: you know, and doing what you're doing. I have three kids.

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Speaker 2: As I told you, I have experienced anxiety in my life,

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Speaker 2: and my oldest, when he was in eighth grade, went

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Speaker 2: through it. And it started with him sort of disassociating

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Speaker 2: and telling me that he doesn't feel real, which I

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Speaker 2: could completely relate to him. I was like, ah, fuck,

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Speaker 2: you know, I was like, good news, bad news. Bad

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Speaker 2: news is I know where this is going. Good news

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Speaker 2: is is that I've been through this, so I can

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Speaker 2: help you, you know, and I'm not fearful, you know.

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Speaker 2: And I had to keep him home for like a month.

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Speaker 2: We did, my wife and I because he was just

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Speaker 2: in this space, and we didn't put him on medication,

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Speaker 2: and you know, I didn't want to do that. He

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Speaker 2: was young and he was just journaling, and I taught

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Speaker 2: him some meditations and you know, he would sit outside

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Speaker 2: and write his journal. Sort of things that I did

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Speaker 2: to help myself get out of it in my twenties,

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Speaker 2: and it seemed to have worked, you know, I guess

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Speaker 2: the question is children anxiety. You know, how much of

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Speaker 2: an uptick are you seeing? And what are some of

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Speaker 2: the best sort of ways to speak to your child

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Speaker 2: if you haven't experienced yourself, to try to help the

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Speaker 2: little one.

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Speaker 5: It's kind of the most one of the most common

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Speaker 5: questions we get is if we see anxiety rising in kids,

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Speaker 5: and we really have seen a lot more anxiety. Kids

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Speaker 5: are exposed to a lot more, they're experiencing things at

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Speaker 5: earlier ages, and the world is more worrisome. I mean,

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Speaker 5: it's kind of why we named the book, gave the

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Speaker 5: book the title that we did, of raising Calm kids

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Speaker 5: in a world of worry, because there is so much

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Speaker 5: and the thing that we would start by saying is

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Speaker 5: really listen if you don't know what it is that's

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Speaker 5: going on, to listen to what a child is saying

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Speaker 5: and believe them. Like what you said, just believe what

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Speaker 5: they're saying and try not to dismiss it or fix it,

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Speaker 5: which is what we often want to do when a

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Speaker 5: problem is brought to us and we feel uncomfortable with

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Speaker 5: it because maybe we don't know about it. We just

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Speaker 5: don't want the person to be suffering. That is bringing

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Speaker 5: us something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's such a hard time to parent right now

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Speaker 1: because there's so much coming at parents. It's a totally

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Speaker 1: different time. There's technology, there's AI, there's all these different things.

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Speaker 1: There's the news, there's social media, everything that none of

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Speaker 1: us had to deal with as kids. Really, and so

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Speaker 1: parents are really you met with this great challenge, which

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Speaker 1: is how do I raise a kid that's not completely

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Speaker 1: terrified of the world that I don't even know how

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Speaker 1: to walk them through?

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 1: So our book is all about and our philosophy is

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Speaker 1: about the idea that you can raise kids who generally

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Speaker 1: have a greater sense of safety through the way that

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Speaker 1: you parent, so that even when they do feel anxious,

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Speaker 1: they have those tools, they know what it is, they

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Speaker 1: can come to you.

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Speaker 4: They've got a.

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Speaker 1: Sense of belonging in the family. And so we've got

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Speaker 1: all kinds of tips and you know, whatever you'd like

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Speaker 1: to chat about. We can kind of go in that direction.

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Speaker 1: But so many ways to parent to create that environment

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Speaker 1: so that they're not shaking in their boots every day,

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Speaker 1: you know, and so you're not either.

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Speaker 2: There's not one right way to do it right. All

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Speaker 2: kids are different, all parents are different, But as far

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Speaker 2: as the freedoms that our kids don't have anymore because

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Speaker 2: of the fears that we have as parents, Like how

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Speaker 2: do you navigate that so they're not afraid of everything

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Speaker 2: and sheltered.

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Speaker 5: Such a good question, and building a strong connection to

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Speaker 5: your kids is going to be such an important piece

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Speaker 5: of it, because, as you said, there are things going

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Speaker 5: on that we have to deal with, and if a

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Speaker 5: child feels like they can come and talk to you

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Speaker 5: about it, whatever it is, then then you can let

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Speaker 5: them roam a little bit more free if they feel

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Speaker 5: like they can come back. I remember growing up, we

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Speaker 5: had this contract that if there somebody was drinking and driving,

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Speaker 5: we signed a contract with our parents and if somebody

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Speaker 5: was drinking and driving, you could call them. You call

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Speaker 5: your parents and they would come and pick you up

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Speaker 5: and there would be no conversation that night, you wouldn't

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Speaker 5: get in trouble. You would talk about it the next day,

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Speaker 5: and you know whatever the family sort of decided in

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Speaker 5: that moment, but that there was this understanding that you

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Speaker 5: could fall back on your parents. And that's so much

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Speaker 5: of what we try to teach is that if you

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Speaker 5: have this bond and you and your children know that

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Speaker 5: you can come to you. Then whatever is happening, that's

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Speaker 5: that's changing in the world is okay for them. And

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Speaker 5: if you're if you're talking about things like we asked

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Speaker 5: a lot about social media, to teach good practices to

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Speaker 5: talk to your children about the things that are going

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Speaker 5: on versus kind of ignoring it or not speaking about it,

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Speaker 5: because in that way, then a child knows okay. I

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Speaker 5: know I can come to my parents, you know, or

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Speaker 5: I know that they're going to be there to talk

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Speaker 5: to me about something if there's something scary that comes up.

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Speaker 2: Playing Devil's Advocate with that, you know. I think inherently

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Speaker 2: kids are mischievous. That's just part of the growing up process.

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Speaker 2: And I've created an open space for my kids to

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Speaker 2: talk about whatever the hell they want. We're very liberal

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Speaker 2: parents when it comes to that, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I haven't forgotten what I was like at sixteen seventy

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Speaker 2: years old, and I don't want to be a hypocrite.

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Speaker 2: And that's my biggest pet peeve is hypocrisy. That's why

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Speaker 2: I can't stand politics. But that's a whole other discussion.

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Speaker 2: So if I'm thinking about what I was doing at

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Speaker 2: fifteen sixteen, seventeen and then getting on my kids for

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Speaker 2: doing similar things. It doesn't feel good to me. Now,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't mean I can't teach some sort of a

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Speaker 2: lesson anyway. The door is always open for them, but

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Speaker 2: they don't always tell the truth. They're always they sneak,

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Speaker 2: they do their shit. And my kid was very simple

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Speaker 2: and he said, they're all great, they're all great kids.

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Speaker 2: But I was on him about something and why didn't

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Speaker 2: you tell me this? It's always open door. You know

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Speaker 2: that you can do that? And he goes, Dad, what

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Speaker 2: am I supposed to just tell my dad everything I do?

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Speaker 2: And I was like, wow, you know what. You're right,

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Speaker 2: of course you're not. This is a rite of passage.

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Speaker 2: You try, you will get caught because I used to

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Speaker 2: do it myself, so I know what's up. And now

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Speaker 2: we have ring cameras in life three sixties that you're

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Speaker 2: completely fucked? What about that though? You know? Because we

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Speaker 2: can't expect our kids to just be all open and

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Speaker 2: honest and vulnerable all the time. Do we give them

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Speaker 2: some leadway, I mean, I do for when they might lie,

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Speaker 2: or they might sneak out, or they might do something mischievous,

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Speaker 2: or do we have to get on their asses.

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Speaker 1: No, you've got it, You've got it right. It's really

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Speaker 1: important to be understanding of that process. They need privacy.

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Speaker 1: You know. As they become teenagers, they start to really

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Speaker 1: develop that sense of self that's totally separate from you,

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Speaker 1: and that can be hard for a lot of parents,

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Speaker 1: but you know, they become really pure focused. But the

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Speaker 1: thing to really think about in those preteen teen years

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Speaker 1: is kids. As much as you want to be the

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Speaker 1: totally cool parent that's like, I know you're going to lie,

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Speaker 1: I know you're going to smoke, I know you're going

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Speaker 1: to drink. Kids need a boundary to push up against.

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Speaker 1: So you don't want to be so like you were describing,

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Speaker 1: just so tight that you don't let them explore the

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Speaker 1: world at all. But you also don't want to be

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Speaker 1: all the way wide open because then they have absolutely

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Speaker 1: nothing to push up against. So you want them to

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Speaker 1: know something like, oh, my dad's totally going to kill

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Speaker 1: me if I don't check in at midnight and tell

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Speaker 1: them where I am. You want them to have that

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Speaker 1: feeling so that they do check in, or so that

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Speaker 1: maybe they don't come home at twelve, but they come

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Speaker 1: home at twelve fifteen versus I know you're a teenager

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Speaker 1: and you're just going to waltz in anytime, so whatever, right,

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Speaker 1: because then they might come in at four am, so

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Speaker 1: that makes sense. You want to keep in mind that

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Speaker 1: your job is still to hold boundaries so that they

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Speaker 1: get to experience going against them. The trick is finding

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Speaker 1: where does that boundary lie so that they get to explore.

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Speaker 1: But also they don't just go completely haywire.

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Speaker 2: That's so important. I couldn't agree more. I mean, and

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Speaker 2: I wrestle with that. We wrestle with that a little bit,

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Speaker 2: but well we have boundaries. But again it's about figuring

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Speaker 2: out sort of you know, it's like a dog pen

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Speaker 2: for a puppy, like how small you're going to make it,

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Speaker 2: you know, or how big are you going to make that?

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Speaker 2: And I think that that is to each their own.

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Speaker 2: There is something there's personal. It's personal, you know. For me,

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Speaker 2: it's big moments, you know, like like the other day,

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Speaker 2: my kids have these surrongs. You know, they're like basically motorcycles.

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Speaker 2: I mean it's you know, they have helmets. My wife

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Speaker 2: is cannot believe that I'm letting me do this, but

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Speaker 2: you know, they ride around, they'd ride into Westwood and

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Speaker 2: my kid rode to school today, you know, on his suran,

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Speaker 2: and I come home and the bikes are gone and

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Speaker 2: the helmets are in the garage and I'm lenient, but

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Speaker 2: that's a big fucking no no. And they came back

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Speaker 2: and I just ripped them, you know. I was like, dude,

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Speaker 2: part of it is like I give you so much,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Like this is these there

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Speaker 2: are certain things where you sort of pick your battles,

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Speaker 2: you know, so where they can sort of hear that

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Speaker 2: and understand that. But you're right, the boundary thing is important.

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Speaker 2: But then again, there are parents who like are too restricted,

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Speaker 2: I think. And that's actually my next question because you

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Speaker 2: work with parents, well right obviously, so have you found

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Speaker 2: a pattern? I know everyone's different, but is there something

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Speaker 2: if you were to pull all the parents or pull

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Speaker 2: your experiences with these parents, is there a through line

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Speaker 2: with like the new parent that you see a lot of.

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Speaker 2: Is it fear? Is it worry? I mean, is there

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Speaker 2: something that is a through line? Or is everyone completely

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Speaker 2: unique and different?

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Speaker 5: I would say one of the things we see so

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Speaker 5: often is really not wanting to talk about the things

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Speaker 5: that they should talk about. But maybe they didn't. They

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Speaker 5: didn't have a model for that growing up. They didn't

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Speaker 5: have Your children will likely have a similar relationship with

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Speaker 5: their children where and perhaps you do with your parents,

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Speaker 5: or you did it completely differently. But we see that

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Speaker 5: often a parent will say like, I don't want to

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Speaker 5: expose my child to such and such, and because there

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Speaker 5: is so much more now, it's too early, I don't

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Speaker 5: want to talk about it. And we see it a

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Speaker 5: little bit differently. We want to talk about things age appropriately,

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Speaker 5: but we do want to talk about things, and there's

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Speaker 5: just as Maria said earlier, there's just so much now

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Speaker 5: that parents are balancing that they didn't have to before

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Speaker 5: that that seems to be a really common thing that

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Speaker 5: comes up. It's like, oh, I don't really want to

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Speaker 5: I don't want to talk about that thing. I don't

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Speaker 5: want to scare my children. I don't want them to

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Speaker 5: be thinking about something earlier than they should be. When

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Speaker 5: what we know from the work that we do and

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Speaker 5: also from working with kids directly, is that they just

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Speaker 5: generally do.

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Speaker 2: Know what's going on.

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Speaker 5: They're hearing about it in some way or another, whether

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Speaker 5: it's their older sibling, their friends, will their sibling at

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Speaker 5: school on the news and the house. They see a

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Speaker 5: phone that somebody's holding, they overhear a conversation.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I know. I think these kids soak

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Speaker 2: it up their ears or to their ears are to

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Speaker 2: the ground. They they they we don't think they're listening,

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Speaker 2: but they are listening. Oh my gosh. It's scary sometimes

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Speaker 2: you know everything, oh here everything. Were talking in the

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Speaker 2: room as my oldest like, what were we saying? I'm nothing,

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Speaker 2: nothing like.

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Speaker 4: What bionic ears they have them?

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Speaker 2: Like you were talking about so and so? Well, what

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Speaker 2: was that like? You sort of raise your voice a

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Speaker 2: little bit. I'm like Wilder, says Wilder. Wilder, it's this

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Speaker 2: is not doesn't concern you, I know, but Dad like,

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Speaker 2: what was it? I mean, he will not let it

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Speaker 2: go persistent. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The other thing is with social media, they can access everything.

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Speaker 1: They know so much they don't need to come to

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Speaker 1: you and ask you about something they and oftentimes they'd

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Speaker 1: rather look it up because then they don't have to

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Speaker 1: have the awkward conversation.

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Speaker 4: You know. So I think so much sooner than anybody thinks.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, especially now that they're on all the trends.

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Speaker 2: You know, my kids, you know, it's disturbing when I

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Speaker 2: give them what I think is some wisdom on a

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Speaker 2: subject and like, well, AI said that, I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 2: I said, now AI is a human. I mean, I

385
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Speaker 2: know that we're getting there, but like, can we just

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Speaker 2: put the brakes on for a second, AI said, I

387
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Speaker 2: don't like that totally. I've been resistant to it, just

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Speaker 2: from a conscious but still an unconscious level. I you know,

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Speaker 2: I love the outdoors. I'm pretty analogue. You know, I

390
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Speaker 2: have a boat, and I love the mountains and I

391
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Speaker 2: fish and all that. But some reason, for some reason,

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Speaker 2: I resistant, you know, even though I should probably get on.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's super threatening, right, especially with how fast it develops.

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Speaker 1: It's really scary to imagine where it's going to go.

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Speaker 1: Oh and at the same time, as parents, there is

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Speaker 1: a tremendous responsibility to learn AI because the kids already

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Speaker 1: know it, and you know, most parents don't even necessarily

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Speaker 1: know yet just what AI is capable of. Even now

399
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Speaker 1: you know that you can open up an email draft

400
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Speaker 1: and an AI letter is just written for you as

401
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Speaker 1: a response, or you know, obviously writing essays with AI,

402
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Speaker 1: which a lot of schools have banned, and things like that.

403
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Speaker 1: But even more than that, you know, it's it's it's

404
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Speaker 1: really amazing and and scary at the same time. But

405
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Speaker 1: it's kind of like if you remember when the iPhone

406
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Speaker 1: came out. If if all the parents were like, oh no,

407
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Speaker 1: we're not getting iPhones, they would they would just be

408
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Speaker 1: in a different world than the kids.

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Speaker 2: It's another great point and one I should probably advice

410
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Speaker 2: that I should take, which is you're right, we as

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Speaker 2: parents and adults have to learn it because the kids

412
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Speaker 2: know it, so we have to know it. I mean,

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Speaker 2: they're so versed in it. It's crazy. Part of me

414
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Speaker 2: as well, that's disturbing and scary, and then the other

415
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Speaker 2: part is, well, at least your brain is working and

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Speaker 2: you're figuring it out, you know what I mean. I

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Speaker 2: said to my kids, and this was controversial amongst my friends,

418
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Speaker 2: but I said, I would rather you cheat honestly in school,

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Speaker 2: because the alternative is not giving a shit. So if

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Speaker 2: you're cheating, you're caring to some extent, You're worrying about

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Speaker 2: a grade, you're worrying about getting your assignment in on time,

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Speaker 2: whereas if you just don't give a shit, then you

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Speaker 2: let it pass without a care in the world. I

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Speaker 2: know that sounds insane.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, look, maybe you could amend that a little bit

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Speaker 1: and go. If you're going to cheat, here's what our

427
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Speaker 1: family values say about what makes sense there and what doesn't.

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Speaker 1: So we want you to have critical thinking skills. I

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Speaker 1: don't want you to cheat by having AI write your

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Speaker 1: whole essay. But if you want to use it to

431
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Speaker 1: find all of the sources, or if you want to

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Speaker 1: use it to write up your reference page or things

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Speaker 1: like that, that totally makes sense.

434
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 4: Save time.

435
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 1: Fine, right, don't tell your teacher, Okay, But here's where

436
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 1: I don't want you to cheat. And here's why it matters,

437
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,879
Speaker 1: because we do want them to develop those critical thinking skills.

438
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: You know, there was I read something where this I

439
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,880
Speaker 1: think it was like a student at Stanford was having

440
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 1: coffee with a journalist and I read this article where

441
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 1: the student admitted to the journalist or something like that

442
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 1: that I use AI so much that I'm having trouble

443
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 1: formulating sentences right now at this coffee with you.

444
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 2: Wow, that's scary. Oh gosh, just where we're headed.

445
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,719
Speaker 4: Please go, oh, we got to prepare.

446
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, And something to think about too, is that if

447
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 5: it's an interest of your child, that a way to

448
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 5: bond with them. And I think you mentioned this, and

449
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 5: the way to bond with them is to ask them

450
00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 5: to show you about it, to ask come to teach

451
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:06,439
Speaker 5: you about it, and if it is interesting to him

452
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 5: or he's using it in some way, then that is something.

453
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

454
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 5: That and then in that way you'll learn and you'll

455
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:17,119
Speaker 5: probably learn a lot, yeah, from asking him then going

456
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 5: and trying to figure it out yourself.

457
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 6: Yeah.

458
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 2: Here's the other issue I have, and I can only

459
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 2: speak from experience. You know, I got expelled from high school,

460
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,439
Speaker 2: okay for cheating on a test. And that's just the

461
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 2: one I got caught for. I cheated, right. I was

462
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 2: not mature enough yet to want to learn. I mean,

463
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 2: I'm in high school. I love being in school. My

464
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,199
Speaker 2: education was sort of learning how to get by and

465
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 2: learning how to sort of, you know, use the system essentially.

466
00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 2: I went to Boulder for two years. I knew I

467
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 2: wanted to be in the movie business, and I left

468
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:07,360
Speaker 2: school because I wasn't academically inclined in any way, nor

469
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:12,120
Speaker 2: was I wanting to educate myself philosophically or read books

470
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,679
Speaker 2: or just understand the meaning of life, so to speak.

471
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 2: So I'm not very educated as far as the standard

472
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 2: education goes. I consider myself an intellectual person. I'm a

473
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 2: big thinker. It just took me a longer period of time.

474
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 2: Maturity is such a big component in education. We're expecting

475
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,880
Speaker 2: these kids to just be bang bang bang and their

476
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 2: brains developed enough to be like, Oh, you're going to

477
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:41,120
Speaker 2: college and you're going to learn right now, and you're

478
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 2: going to soak it all in. But everyone is so

479
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,679
Speaker 2: different and it's almost like we have to cater to

480
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 2: that in a way, you know, because I only in

481
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 2: my twenties is when I thought, oh, you know what, like,

482
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 2: I want to start reading books. I'm interested in this,

483
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 2: I'm interested in that. I want to start to sort

484
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 2: of learn about myself a little bit more and humanity.

485
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 2: And then I got inspired. But prior to twenty two

486
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 2: years old, I was like, I don't give a shit,

487
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,680
Speaker 2: you know, so how do you how do we calculate

488
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 2: for that? I think we're doing better now in today's world,

489
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,679
Speaker 2: but it's just a fact, you know.

490
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, we're not experts on the educational system per se,

491
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 5: but it is a kind of blanket system that's out there.

492
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 5: And as you said, I think people are so different

493
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 5: and do things in different ways. I remember after my

494
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 5: senior year of high school, I went and I had

495
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 5: this whole speech prepared. I was going to tell my dad,

496
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,679
Speaker 5: my mom and dad, who were very much wanted me

497
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 5: to go to college, and I was going to tell

498
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 5: them I was going to take a year off of work,

499
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 5: and I, you know, plan this whole speech. And I

500
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 5: got myself right and sat down in my dad's office

501
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,199
Speaker 5: to talk to him, and he turned it to a

502
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 5: credenza behind him to pick up something, and I blurted

503
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 5: out what I wanted to say, and he turned back

504
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:13,159
Speaker 5: and said, absolutely not. And the fact is is I

505
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 5: would have done better to take a year off because

506
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 5: I was similar to you. I just wasn't that mature

507
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:22,480
Speaker 5: and ready. So I screwed off in the first couple

508
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:28,920
Speaker 5: of years of my undergraduate And I think, if parents

509
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 5: can nurture what is happening for their own children then

510
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,640
Speaker 5: and not this sort of idea. And it's heart because

511
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 5: there is a pressure for parents to have their children

512
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 5: go to college or go to a specific college, or

513
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:50,719
Speaker 5: become a certain thing, and that could be familial, that

514
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 5: could be societal pressure, or whatever it is. But to

515
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 5: step back and just to look at and this is

516
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 5: easier said than done. Look at who it is you're

517
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 5: dealing with, and maybe it's not even you know your

518
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 5: two children, that one is just very different from the other.

519
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 5: I mean we think, we often will say that's kind

520
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 5: of the joke in parenting, that you get one child

521
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 5: and then once you figure it out, you're like, Okay,

522
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 5: I got this work, you know, sort of figured out

523
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 5: how to do this. You get a different child.

524
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I know, Oh my god, so much

525
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 2: so actually really real quickly, it's almost like what you're

526
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 2: saying is, you know, you are not your kid. You

527
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 2: are You don't impose what you feel on someone who

528
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 2: is a completely different human being than you, you know

529
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like I think we fall victim to

530
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 2: that a little bit, Like this is what I believe,

531
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 2: So you need to believe this as well. You need

532
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 2: to go to college because that's what I did. That's

533
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 2: the right thing to do. But that's just bullshit, you

534
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like you have to recognize your

535
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 2: children for who they are, not stand so rigid and

536
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 2: and just what you believe, you know. And the other thing, too,

537
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 2: is that's such a good it's so true. And I

538
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 2: had a moment with Wilder, my oldest, where he did

539
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 2: some shit or whatever, and you know, I maybe reacted incorrectly,

540
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 2: and I walked into his room and I said, hey,

541
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 2: look dude, I said, I've had to switch away a

542
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 2: parent because you're going from sort of toddler and to

543
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 2: preteen and now you're a teenager and there's a big shift,

544
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 2: so you no longer want to cuddle with me, like

545
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,600
Speaker 2: it's a whole different world. And I am getting used

546
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 2: to this. So I said, I don't know what the

547
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 2: fuck I'm doing. Okay, because you're number one body and

548
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 2: rio are going to benefit from you. And just as

549
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 2: you are sort of figuring out this new sort of

550
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 2: teenage chapter which you were sort of trying to navigate,

551
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 2: I'm the same thing. So I said, I'm gonna make mistakes,

552
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 2: You're gonna make mistakes, and this is it is what

553
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 2: it is, you know, And it was. It was a healthy,

554
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 2: good conversation to have, even though he just kind of

555
00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 2: nods and grunts. I think they hear it.

556
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's beautiful.

557
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 1: That's that's exactly what we want parents to do, is

558
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 1: have conversations own when things don't go great, start again,

559
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 1: start fresh, show that you can apologize for your side

560
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 1: of the street, demonstrate that you're not perfect. All of

561
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 1: these things are some of the most tremendous things you

562
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: can teach kids. And it's very different than you know,

563
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 1: the olden days and how parenting is yea.

564
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 2: And I also think we need to temper our frustrations

565
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 2: when the kids don't respond the way that we want

566
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 2: them to, you know, because it's like I'm being vulnerable

567
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 2: and I'm expressing myself to you, like give it back, bastard,

568
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 2: But that is just not the way that they that

569
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 2: that's not the way they take it in. I think

570
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 2: we need to understand they are taking it in in

571
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 2: their own way.

572
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 4: So that's that's brilliant.

573
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 2: That's what you need to say. And then okay, all right, peace,

574
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 2: I love you, I'm out, you know.

575
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's part of letting them be who they are.

576
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: And kids really appreciate that. They like those parents who

577
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 1: can just let them be or know that they're listening,

578
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 1: even if they're not responding or if they're not making

579
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 1: eye contact, if they're not you know, immediately smiling about something.

580
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 1: They love to be known in that way and just

581
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 1: given that space.

582
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's not easy because you're like, what do

583
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 2: you come on, man?

584
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 5: You know, give me some vulnerability about yeah, yeah, about sorry.

585
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 5: We talk about having difficult conversations with kids, or having

586
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 5: conversations at all, and noticing when does your child respond.

587
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 5: Is it that you're walking to school together and you

588
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 5: all aren't side by side, that are side by side

589
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 5: and not looking at one another. Is it that you

590
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 5: know you said you're outdoorsy. Is it that you all

591
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 5: are on the beach together, that it's that you're hiking together.

592
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 5: Is it that a child likes to do art and

593
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:53,240
Speaker 5: they're sitting there but they're not looking at you and

594
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,959
Speaker 5: knowing that about your child, that those are the times

595
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 5: that you can talk to them more freely and they

596
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 5: will hear you and maybe they will connect or they

597
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 5: may not, And that's okay to what we were just

598
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:09,480
Speaker 5: talking about, but that they paying attention to when does

599
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 5: your child talk to you and when do they open up?

600
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 5: And if you can figure that out, then you can

601
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 5: actually maybe have a little bit more if if that's

602
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:28,480
Speaker 5: what you're going after, because it's such an important point

603
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 5: too to say it's okay if they don't give back

604
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 5: what you are looking for in that way.

605
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, usually at ten pm, like it wanders in my

606
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 2: room and all of a sudden he's just attached to

607
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 2: the foot of the bed, just sort of talking and

608
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 2: saying weird shit. And this is his moment, Like he

609
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 2: always comes in late and just sort of want like

610
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 2: sort of paces around the room and talks about weird things.

611
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 2: It's funny.

612
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so classic.

613
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 1: And you know the other thing that can be challenging

614
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 1: on the subject of letting kids be who they are

615
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 1: is knowing what do they want to talk about? You know,

616
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: I remember early on one of my first ever teene clients,

617
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,359
Speaker 1: all they wanted to do, all you wanted to do

618
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 1: was talk about video games every session for several weeks,

619
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 1: and I remember just thinking, what is he getting out

620
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 1: of this?

621
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 4: What is he getting out of this?

622
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 1: And then at some point I asked him, I said,

623
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:24,320
Speaker 1: you know, you talk about video games a lot.

624
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 4: What are you getting out of this? And he said,

625
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 4: you know, you're.

626
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: The only person who will listen, and it's my whole world, right,

627
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 1: It really mattered to him. And so really being the

628
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 1: parent that lets the kid talk about whatever it is

629
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,000
Speaker 1: they're actually interested. You may not care at all about

630
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 1: the topic whatsoever. You might not like the band or

631
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,399
Speaker 1: the artist or whatever it is, but you know, when

632
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 1: you turn off that music and you say it sounds

633
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 1: like crap, they feel insulted and they feel like it's

634
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 1: a blow to their system.

635
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 4: You know.

636
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,320
Speaker 1: So true, you know, and they're not going to like

637
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 1: it forever. So if you can just hold out until

638
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,240
Speaker 1: the next days comes and they can.

639
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 4: Feel like, all right, my dad gets it.

640
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:07,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so true because you and you have to

641
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,839
Speaker 2: force yourself sometimes to be like to get up and

642
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 2: like whatever it is they're liking, or you immerse yourself

643
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,320
Speaker 2: in whatever it is that they're into at that time,

644
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 2: you know, and you're like, oh cool, Yeah, those airsoft

645
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 2: guns are rad. I'm like, oh god, more aerosoft. I

646
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,399
Speaker 2: want to get to the mindfulness thing real quick. But

647
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 2: you know, just to go back, just to tell a

648
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,279
Speaker 2: story sort of about how the expectations are not mad.

649
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:35,720
Speaker 2: I did a movie in Toronto in January and Wilder,

650
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 2: my son got to Got Apart and it's a big part.

651
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 2: I mean, he's in the whole movie. I was there.

652
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 2: It was with him for six weeks in Toronto, living together,

653
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:48,799
Speaker 2: and I had this like montage fantasy. I overspent and

654
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 2: got an amazing house and I was like, Oh, we're

655
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 2: going to cook and we're gonna like watch movies and

656
00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:57,319
Speaker 2: it's just gonna be fucking rat When we have like

657
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 2: a beer and we get to the place and I'm like,

658
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:04,440
Speaker 2: all right, cool, this is awesome. And literally I'm like

659
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,320
Speaker 2: it's like up the stairs in the room, the door closes.

660
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 2: I'm like yeah. First day, I'm like, what happened to

661
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 2: my montage? Like I had the music playing in my

662
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,279
Speaker 2: head and everything, and I'm like Wilder, like, do you

663
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,279
Speaker 2: want to, like get let's watch a movie? Dude, Like

664
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 2: let's when He's like, no, I'm cool. Oh no, this

665
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:24,600
Speaker 2: is supposed to be an incredible experience.

666
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:31,640
Speaker 1: Such a funny scene, a relatable scene.

667
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:41,840
Speaker 2: Anyway. I want to talk about sort of meditation and

668
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:45,160
Speaker 2: mindfulness and how you guys sort of implement that into

669
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 2: your practice with parents and children. I don't know if

670
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 2: you know my mom has done has a foundage gone

671
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 2: mind up? Do you guys know of it? Okay? So

672
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,839
Speaker 2: it's nuts. It's very similar to potentially what you guys

673
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:01,320
Speaker 2: are are doing. You know, she gets into the science

674
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 2: of it, you know, so these kids can sort of

675
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 2: learn about why they're feeling the way that they're feeling

676
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,359
Speaker 2: from a science place as well.

677
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,320
Speaker 4: Did you grow up with any mindfulness skills?

678
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean my mom was going to India forever

679
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 2: and she was always sort of meditating, and it was

680
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 2: sort of always surrounding us as children, know, which we

681
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 2: could have benefited from because we were products of divorce

682
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 2: and it was tumultuous and it was crazy. And that's

683
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:30,640
Speaker 2: why I've been in therapy, you know, for a million years.

684
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:36,720
Speaker 2: But it probably would have helped in my teens. Late

685
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 2: teens is when meditation sort of came into play for

686
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,799
Speaker 2: me and helped me in my early twenties get through

687
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 2: gnarly bouts of anxiety, you know. And it's strangely, it's

688
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 2: the hardest thing to do. I'll work out for an

689
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 2: hour and a half, I'll get on my boat and fish,

690
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 2: I'll do this, I'll read, i'll clean, I'll do it.

691
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 2: And it's like, oh, just sit down for ten minutes

692
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:59,320
Speaker 2: and meditate. I'm like I can't, all right the time.

693
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 2: It's so strange how it's just resisted, you know, I

694
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 2: don't know what that is, just being quiet, being in

695
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 2: being alone with your inner thoughts. I don't know, but yeah,

696
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 2: but talk about how I talk about that in mindfulness meditation,

697
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 2: how you guys sort of use it.

698
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, Well, for one, I just want to uh, I

699
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:22,760
Speaker 5: just want to say, I think sitting with the nature

700
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:26,080
Speaker 5: of our own mind. You know, being still is heard

701
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 5: because we're there's a lot coming at us all the time.

702
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 5: And what we will often teach parents is to bring

703
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 5: mindfulness into the things that you're doing already and to

704
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 5: help your children do that. You just named a lot

705
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 5: of ways in which you are possibly getting present, you know,

706
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 5: if it's fishing on your boat, if it's hiking, whatever

707
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 5: it might be. But finding those ways to help a

708
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 5: child do that too, and meditation is wonderful. We will

709
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 5: often say, like it's so hard to get people to

710
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 5: sit down and do that, but weaving mindfulness into your

711
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 5: everyday life is a little bit different. And one of

712
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 5: the things that we'll always talk about is that you

713
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 5: can't you can't help but be present if you're using

714
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 5: your senses, and that gives kids a lot of choices.

715
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 5: So to help them, we also learned that in school,

716
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 5: what are your senses? And so to help a child

717
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 5: to tap into that, find which sense do they like

718
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 5: to use the most. Is it their ears, their eyes,

719
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:36,279
Speaker 5: their touch, and to practice with a child. And that

720
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,799
Speaker 5: doesn't mean that you're all sitting down and meditating. It

721
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 5: could mean that you're finding five circles in a room.

722
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 5: It could mean that you're finding four things that are

723
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,280
Speaker 5: blue in a room. It could be that you're cooking

724
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 5: and you all take a second to run through your

725
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 5: senses just quickly. But to do that, and I imagine

726
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 5: you know this from having anxiety, that if you do

727
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 5: it consistently, that is going to help and it is

728
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:08,280
Speaker 5: going to make a difference. And if a child knows

729
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 5: how to do that, or and a parent knows how

730
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,760
Speaker 5: to do that, you can slow things down. And really

731
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:19,719
Speaker 5: by slowing things down is where anxiety lowers, whether it's

732
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:24,400
Speaker 5: you know, in our nervous system, or it's running in

733
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 5: the home in a moment. And really the idea that

734
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 5: we're going to get people to sit down and meditate,

735
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 5: we often will say this like we don't really even

736
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,880
Speaker 5: try that much to get people to sit down and

737
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 5: meditate that much anymore. It's great if you will, but

738
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 5: if you can practice those things, if you can practice

739
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 5: when you walk through a doorway, try to take a breath.

740
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well it's funny because I did meditation with the

741
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,360
Speaker 2: kids when they were younger. We'd sit down and form

742
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:59,720
Speaker 2: like a you know, a guided thing, and they were little,

743
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,960
Speaker 2: and you know, Wilder, I'm always about Wilder, but Body's

744
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 2: my middle one. He's more down. Rio's my girl, and

745
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:08,359
Speaker 2: she's just like, I don't know, from another planet. She's

746
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:13,800
Speaker 2: incredible human being. But he was always restless. He's like,

747
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 2: I don't want to, you know, but we tried, and

748
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 2: it was fun because we got into it, but then

749
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 2: it was you know, laughy, and you know, it was

750
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 2: an experience that just didn't last very long. And this

751
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,399
Speaker 2: is leading up to sort of my final question because

752
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,840
Speaker 2: we've got to get out of here soon. But you know,

753
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:31,959
Speaker 2: I went to the Hoffmann Institute and I came back

754
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,320
Speaker 2: like I was on cloud nine. I mean that honeymoon

755
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 2: period we were just like I literally felt psychic. I

756
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 2: mean I could see things that I mean, it was incredible.

757
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 2: You realize the potential that we have as a human being,

758
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,359
Speaker 2: not that you will ever stay in that state of

759
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 2: bliss because it's not really possible. You build the toolbox.

760
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,399
Speaker 2: You got some tools, but in that first couple of weeks,

761
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:56,359
Speaker 2: you're just like, oh my god, like I see the

762
00:41:56,400 --> 00:42:00,120
Speaker 2: world differently. I am clean and pure and I I'm

763
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 2: a home and you know the first thing I'd do

764
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 2: is like, okay, kids, I got canvases and paints. I'm like,

765
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 2: we're going to paint are the way we feel? And

766
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 2: they're like, what is wrong with you? Like what is

767
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,400
Speaker 2: this Hoffman place? You went to? This whole was like

768
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 2: just paint your feelings and they're like, what the fuck

769
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 2: are you doing? When we did and I still have

770
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 2: them and it was fine. This is leading up to

771
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:26,840
Speaker 2: my question, how do you hide the broccoli so to speak?

772
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like, how do you hide

773
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,279
Speaker 2: the greens? The sustenance where you can put it in

774
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,480
Speaker 2: a turkey paddy, you can put it in a burger

775
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 2: or put it in you know, to where they're getting it,

776
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,880
Speaker 2: but they don't know it because a lot of kids

777
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 2: right now, they're savvy. They don't like that feeling of

778
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,839
Speaker 2: woo woo, that that sort of vulnerability that Okay, now

779
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 2: we're going to do this or talk about your feelings.

780
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 2: How do you feel? You know, at least in my world,

781
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 2: you know, there's got to be a way to hide

782
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:54,800
Speaker 2: the broccoli.

783
00:42:56,239 --> 00:43:01,560
Speaker 1: Totally, totally, and you know, part of it is helping

784
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 1: teens and kids understand that they're already doing it. It's

785
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 1: not like it's something you're forcing them to do. They're

786
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,320
Speaker 1: already doing it. So you can have a casual conversation

787
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 1: and go, hey, when you're on those bikes, what's that like?

788
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 1: What does that feel like? I mean, are you like

789
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: thinking about TikTok when you're on the bike or what's

790
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 1: going on in there?

791
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:19,359
Speaker 4: Oh?

792
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 1: No, I'm just I'm just kind of riding. It feels good. Oh,

793
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 1: it feels good. Nice, And you just leave it right

794
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 1: there because that is a mindful activity, right anything where

795
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 1: they're using their senses, So helping them see that what

796
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 1: they're doing, and then just really helping to develop those things.

797
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 1: So if somebody really likes to draw, get them some markers,

798
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,240
Speaker 1: leave them there, you know, get them some new stuff,

799
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 1: and maybe don't even say anything. That can be like

800
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 1: we talk about playing it cool, so you know, you

801
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 1: don't want to jump up it down and go, hey

802
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:48,800
Speaker 1: you're being mindful.

803
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 4: You're being mindful right now.

804
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 2: Look at you.

805
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 4: Later that night you can be like, hey, that was

806
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:55,879
Speaker 4: pretty cool.

807
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,279
Speaker 1: How you just like got into it, like you didn't

808
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 1: even check your phone for like twenty minutes. That was awesome,

809
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 1: you know, like just small things like that really plant

810
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 1: those seeds. And then modeling, just being the parent that

811
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 1: does those things, because if they feel close to you

812
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 1: and you have a strong bond and you are the

813
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:16,200
Speaker 1: parent that is modeling that vulnerability and going to workshops

814
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 1: and Hoffman and caring about emotions, you are going to

815
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:23,560
Speaker 1: raise kids who do too. You even have to jam

816
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 1: it down their throats, they will become that way. So

817
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 1: you're already doing it really.

818
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then you know, I know that tech is

819
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 2: good and bad. I think it's expression as I do

820
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:43,240
Speaker 2: wish it was, you know, more in person. But words

821
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 2: are strong as well, and that's how I express myself

822
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,800
Speaker 2: because I love to write, and I'm actually a pretty

823
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 2: good writer one of my sort of gifts, I guess,

824
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 2: and I love to express myself through the word, and

825
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 2: it's easier for me to do that than it is

826
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 2: in person. And oftmen changed that because I was able

827
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 2: to feel more vulnerable and be able to look at

828
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:07,800
Speaker 2: my wife or my mom, and especially with women, strangely

829
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 2: to say, or my sister and being like, I just

830
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 2: want you to know I fucking love you so much

831
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 2: and I don't tell you enough. And it was hard

832
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:16,839
Speaker 2: for me to do because I'd be like and sort

833
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 2: of shy it away from that feeling. But I could

834
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 2: use words to express myself and it was completely accepted.

835
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 2: I just wanted to sort of change that for myself.

836
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 2: All that being said, sometimes text is amazing, you know

837
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 2: what I mean, And they're able to express their feelings

838
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 2: towards you, towards me through text. Two nights ago, I

839
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 2: was thinking about Wilder and I said, just thinking about you, man,

840
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:41,719
Speaker 2: Like he's in his room. I was like, I just

841
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 2: he's just a great fucking kid. I love you so much.

842
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 2: You're seventeen and just doing well. And he's like, man,

843
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 2: He's like thanks Dad, Like, I love you too so much.

844
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 2: Nothing he would ever say to me in person, honestly,

845
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 2: but I was able to You know, you're able to

846
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:01,960
Speaker 2: do it through through text. So communication, there's a lot

847
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:07,280
Speaker 2: of ways to sort of communicate these things, you know. Amen, Yeah,

848
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 2: all right, book plug the book what are we reading?

849
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,800
Speaker 5: It's called Raising com Kids in a World of Worry

850
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:19,440
Speaker 5: and Maria Shriver it's her imprint called the Open Field

851
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 5: at Penguin Random House, and you can buy it anywhere

852
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:29,720
Speaker 5: books are sold. It's written for parents to really help

853
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 5: learn just what we've been talking about, just different ways

854
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 5: of being and dealing with all of the worry that's

855
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:41,840
Speaker 5: out there today. We wrote it so that you can

856
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:45,440
Speaker 5: read it in a school pickup line, so that you

857
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:48,400
Speaker 5: can pick up a little bit, take in some tools.

858
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 5: Marie and I feel really strongly.

859
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 7: That having a big book that is impossible to get

860
00:46:55,120 --> 00:47:00,399
Speaker 7: through is just unrealistic for parents today, so they can

861
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 7: really pick it up and just learn a little something

862
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 7: they can listen to it.

863
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:08,400
Speaker 2: Is it safe to say that it's not just a

864
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 2: book based on your profession and your education, but also

865
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:16,359
Speaker 2: from learned experience as well.

866
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 4: Certainly, Yeah, I mean the book every day.

867
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:23,320
Speaker 2: That's cool. It's like not just like we're psychologists and

868
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 2: this is what we do. It's like, yes, we know

869
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:28,800
Speaker 2: a lot, but here's who we are as well.

870
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 4: Experientially totally.

871
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 1: And what you'll find is, you know, it's hard to

872
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 1: pay attention to books these days, and what we did

873
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:37,840
Speaker 1: is in almost every other paragraph or so, there's an example.

874
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 1: So right away you're just in somebody's room or you're

875
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 1: in a parent's head where you're hearing about a conversation

876
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 1: you know, similar to what we had in session or

877
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 1: something like that, so that you can just apply it

878
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:51,759
Speaker 1: immediately and see yourself in it and just get some

879
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 1: of those tools going at home.

880
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:58,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, and we're both children who had anxiety. And there

881
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 5: were many, many times throughout this process that we said,

882
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 5: this is like doing you know, a learning about ourselves

883
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 5: and our families as so much as well because we

884
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 5: have the lived experience as well as the professional experience

885
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 5: to bring to this, and we really wanted parents to

886
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 5: have something to do it differently because we both have

887
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 5: wonderful parents. They just didn't have these tools.

888
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, totally, I mean totally. And then and then

889
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:29,719
Speaker 2: we actually had this add Adhd, like expert who has

890
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:33,000
Speaker 2: been studying it for twenty five years, thirty years on

891
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,880
Speaker 2: the podcast. It was great, you know, because he's like

892
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 2: people it's they're calling it an illness, but it's he's like,

893
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:42,319
Speaker 2: it's a fucking superpower, is what he was saying. As

894
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 2: long as you learn how to manage it. But think

895
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 2: about it, it's it can be a real superpower. You know.

896
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 2: I think it's turning some of these negative things around.

897
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:52,759
Speaker 2: Not that anxiety isn't detrimental and it's it was an

898
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,879
Speaker 2: urly but like you know, I wouldn't change anything. I've

899
00:48:55,920 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 2: learned so much about myself, you know. Yeah, it's about lessening,

900
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,359
Speaker 2: you know. I just there's there's so much of it now.

901
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 2: You know that the fear around it needs to sort

902
00:49:08,719 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 2: of dissipate a little bit and learn how to sort

903
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 2: of use it for good. You know. Anyway, thank you

904
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 2: guys for coming on. This was this was great. I

905
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:18,279
Speaker 2: appreciate it.

906
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 4: Thanks Oliver, it was so great.

907
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, really fun. All right, good luck. We'll talk aboutter ay.

908
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:27,359
Speaker 5: Yeah.

909
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 2: I feel like I feel like I could be a psychologist.

910
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 2: It feel like I could be a psychologist. Well, having

911
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 2: gone going to school, you know, I wonder if I

912
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,800
Speaker 2: could life coach. I don't think you have to, I

913
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 2: don't think I don't think you need an education be

914
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 2: a life coach. But acting, you know, it's been great

915
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 2: and love my business. But maybe I will start a

916
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 2: non licensed psychology practice and just be straight up like

917
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:53,759
Speaker 2: I am not licensed, but I'm calling myself a psychologist.

918
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,320
Speaker 2: The hardest thing to do is to practice what you preach.

919
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 2: You know, you need to follow my own advice. Sometimes,

920
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 2: I think we all need to follow our own advice.

921
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 2: Sometimes easy to give the advice, harder to follow your own.

922
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 2: You can tattoo that on yourself if you want. Copyright

923
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:18,319
Speaker 2: Olive Hudson. I'm out.