1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray. 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:09,959 Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to stump Mom never told you? 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:17,759 Speaker 1: From House top works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to 4 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,440 Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm Kristen, I'm Molly. Oh I'm gonna let 5 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: you in in a little secret. And I love secrets. And 6 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,120 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's going to be a poor 7 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: reflection on my character or not, but I'm just gonna 8 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:32,160 Speaker 1: be honest with you and all of our wonderful listeners 9 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 1: out there. I loved to gossip. Oh man, I used too. 10 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: I really loved a gossip. And um, you know, last 11 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 1: night was the House to works dot com holiday part 12 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 1: holiday party. Even though you might be listening to this 13 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 1: in January, I just all I wanted from the holiday party. 14 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,400 Speaker 1: All I wanted was good gossip to come out of it. Yes, 15 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: dear listeners, because Molly left the party early, leaving me 16 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 1: and some other people there to watch out for gossip 17 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,120 Speaker 1: tidbits for the day after, and I had a few 18 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 1: to share with you there. Well, no, I can't. That's 19 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 1: the point about gossip though, Molly, it's secret. I can't 20 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 1: just spill you know, you can't just tell everybody you're 21 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,000 Speaker 1: a bit of gossip or else. Then it's common knowledge. 22 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 1: And that's the fun about gossip is no one else 23 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 1: is supposed to know. Here's some gossip, guys. Okay, Kristin 24 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:22,399 Speaker 1: can't read, I know, I just Molly just draws me pictures, 25 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,680 Speaker 1: picture cue cards. I hold up. I hold up like 26 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 1: a woman talking, and that's how she knows. It's the 27 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: Gossip Podcast. Yeah. Every now and then things kind of 28 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: get boring around here at how Stuffwork dot Com Surprise, 29 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 1: and we try to think up fake gossip to start. 30 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: We never actually do it, though, but I guess that's 31 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 1: more like a rumor, which I think now would be 32 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 1: a good time to kind of talk about what exactly 33 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,319 Speaker 1: is gossip and how is it different from rumor? Like 34 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: what are we talking about when we're talking about gossip? Okay, 35 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: Because I will say when I was reading the definition 36 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 1: of gossip, I felt a lot better about myself. All right, 37 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: because I'm gonna start with the thing that was most 38 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 1: interesting to me. Um they You know, people have had 39 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: to define gossip before they can study it. And one 40 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,240 Speaker 1: thing that researchers have said that it's not gossip unless 41 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 1: you know the person in real life. So all of 42 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 1: the John and Kate Goslin stuff that I love to 43 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 1: read about not gossip. Not gossip. When I find out 44 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: weird facts about celebrity, you know, children, marriages, affairs, alleged affairs, 45 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: those are my favorite alleged blind items, it's not gossip. 46 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,120 Speaker 1: I don't know those people, even though I feel like 47 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 1: I do, and that would be more like rumor. Right, Yeah, 48 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,079 Speaker 1: it's not something that people care about when it comes 49 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 1: to gossip. Here are some ground rules for defining gossip 50 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: because all these researchers have tried to pin down a definition. 51 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 1: It's kind of hard. It's prizingly hard to define what 52 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: exactly gossip is. But here are a few stipulations, such as, 53 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 1: the conversation takes place in private. So really, whatever tidbits 54 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: about the holiday party I could share right now wouldn't 55 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: be be gossip because it's not in private. So this 56 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 1: is how you're gonna get around everything in the future. 57 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: We're just gonna podcast about it. And when you gossip, 58 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 1: you're transmitting information as though it were fact, but it 59 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 1: hasn't been confirmed that it is factual, and that's usually 60 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: why you always start off a good gossip with now 61 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: I heard exactly. Sometimes, like let's say, if I saw 62 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: something happening and I just told it to you secretly, 63 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: that's not really gossip because I sat with my own eyes. 64 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,079 Speaker 1: But if I speculated about something that I saw, if 65 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,679 Speaker 1: I was like if I saw just someone stumbling but 66 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: didn't wait to see if it's just because they tripped 67 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,119 Speaker 1: over a shoelace. But I came to you and said, 68 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: I think that person is drunk, that's gossip. Yeah, because 69 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 1: one aspect of gossip is that you're usually passing some 70 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: kind of moral judgment about the person you're gossiping about. 71 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 1: So I'd be like, why is that person drunk at 72 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: nine am? By that person? Do you mean me, Molly? 73 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 1: This is water in my cup? Okay, although you are clumsy, 74 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 1: I'm very clumsy to an embarrassing extent. Uh. And then 75 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: at some point you compare your self to the person 76 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 1: being gossip about, and you usually consider yourself superior to 77 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 1: the subject, Like when Molly's passed around all these tidbits 78 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 1: about me, you know, drinking at work, because she takes 79 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: some moral high ground and I'm really proud of the 80 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 1: fact that I can read. And by the way, that's 81 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,359 Speaker 1: a total joke people, and is please, yeah, let's not 82 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: start that. But we gossipl on it. We gossip a 83 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: lot though, men and women alike. Uh. Research suggests that 84 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:32,160 Speaker 1: adults spend between one five into two thirds of conversational 85 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 1: time gossiping, but only five percent of that is negative gossip. 86 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 1: See that's the part I don't believe. Like I can 87 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 1: believe that two thirds of my conversational time is spent gossiping, 88 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,119 Speaker 1: but I feel like a lot more than five percent 89 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,839 Speaker 1: of it's negative Molly. Maybe that's just the type of 90 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 1: gossip you are, but um, you know, the fact that 91 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,279 Speaker 1: they've come up with this really sort of weird span 92 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: one two thirds, it just points out how hard it 93 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: is to steady gossips. You have to take everything in 94 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,480 Speaker 1: this podcast to some extent with a grain of sob 95 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 1: because it's impossible to study gossip right, but so many 96 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,599 Speaker 1: people have tried to study it is something that sociologists, linguists, 97 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 1: anthropologists have studied ad nauseum and Uh, I didn't realize this, 98 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 1: but some researchers think that gossips started as a way 99 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 1: for early humans to learn about their neighbors and determine 100 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 1: who they could trust, making it a necessary survival tools, 101 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,919 Speaker 1: so they didn't gossip went all the way back to 102 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,880 Speaker 1: the dawn of time. I don't know. I think researchers 103 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,039 Speaker 1: just trying to justify their gossip by thinking it's a 104 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,600 Speaker 1: survival tool. Yeah. One of the best articles that I 105 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,799 Speaker 1: ran across was about psychologists who were studying gossip because 106 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 1: they were at a psychology conference and noticed how many 107 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: of their colleagues were gossiping. Kind of weird. Well, and 108 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 1: also the way that these researchers study gossip. They can't 109 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: do it in a lab like we were saying. All 110 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 1: they do is eavesdrop. Like I would love to be 111 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: on a study where all I had to do was eavesdrop. Yes, 112 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: I'm so good at it. But you know, Christen, I 113 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: think that, um, when you think about gossip, you tend 114 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 1: to think of like caddy girls. I mean, it's called 115 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: the gossip girl for a reason. Yeah. Yeah, even though 116 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 1: Chuck baths, come on, he's a girl. If I'm just 117 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 1: saying that, I think it's seen as a very female 118 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,159 Speaker 1: thing to do. And that statistic one fift two thirds 119 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 1: of your time spent gossiping. That's regardless of gender. Exactly. 120 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: And there is a huge myth, yes myth out there 121 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,320 Speaker 1: that women gossip more than men. And I can say 122 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:27,840 Speaker 1: this from personal experience. My guy friends love to gossip 123 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 1: as much as I do. Now. The thing is, though, Molly, 124 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: the gossip very differently than you and I might. That's true. 125 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: And I also read that men don't realize sometimes that 126 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,120 Speaker 1: they are gossip they when they give out private information 127 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,799 Speaker 1: because guys don't want to say that they're gossiping because 128 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:47,760 Speaker 1: it's become such a gender term associated with very stereotypical 129 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 1: female habits. So you know, it wouldn't be it wouldn't 130 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: be cool, you know, if a guy would never label 131 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,799 Speaker 1: himself as a gossip. But but men love to do it. Yes, 132 00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:00,080 Speaker 1: And this is according to a very recent study conducted 133 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: by Holly Holm, who was a PhD student at the 134 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:08,359 Speaker 1: University of Virginia, and she found that men indulge in 135 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: gossip more than women about secret liaisons, enept lovers, and 136 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 1: overpaid colleagues. And they do this because it helps boost 137 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 1: their confidence. Um, you know, women just according to this 138 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 1: this researcher, they're just kind of passing time bonding with 139 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 1: their friends when they are gossiping. They build close relationships 140 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: with colleagues. How would say, that's how you and I 141 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 1: got close, Kristen. But according to this study, men use 142 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: gossip to boost their own egos because they're just criticizing 143 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: other people's behavior and just doing it too, sort of 144 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 1: more self serving, I guess than than female gossip. It's 145 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: to show that you're right and others are wrong. And Uh. 146 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: This researcher had the men keep a journal, and apparently 147 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 1: men just loved keeping this gossip journal. They just got 148 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 1: so much enjoyment out of writing down all these secrets. 149 00:07:56,280 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: But in addition to gender differences with gossip, we also 150 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 1: have differences as we grow older. UM psychology professor Jeffrey G. 151 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 1: Parker at the University of Michigan studied gossip habits from 152 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 1: adolescence into the late teens, and he found that adolescence 153 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: will gossip about half the time that they're that they're 154 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 1: talking to each other eighteen times an hour. Eighteen times 155 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 1: an hour. Yeah, I can't believe that any ager is 156 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: don't have anything else to do just texting back and forth. God, 157 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 1: don't we sound old? Uh? And they were about three 158 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 1: times more likely to go us about someone of their 159 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 1: own sex as they were about someone of the opposite sex. 160 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: And they were just as likely to talk about other 161 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: people's relationships as they were about their own. So it's 162 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,239 Speaker 1: very just kind of general. They're just talking not everything. 163 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: Everyone's got their nose and everyone else's business. That's like 164 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 1: the definition of high school, right. Um, but girls were 165 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,640 Speaker 1: more apt to talk about boys they liked, and the 166 00:08:55,679 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 1: more popular boys would be talked about the most. Makes sense, however, 167 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 1: even the most popular boys rarely talked about the girls 168 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 1: they liked. And in addition, pairs of boys who are 169 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,720 Speaker 1: best friends are also less likely to spend time gossiping 170 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:18,360 Speaker 1: as opposed to pairs of girlfriends. But you know what, 171 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 1: what's kind of interesting is that, um, when the young 172 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,079 Speaker 1: women do gossip, it kind of it's sort of empowering 173 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 1: in some way because they talk about people they admire. 174 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,079 Speaker 1: According to this researcher, that the conversations you sprinkle with 175 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,400 Speaker 1: comments like she's a great dresser, she's so cool around boys, 176 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 1: which shows that they're not doing it for that reason 177 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,679 Speaker 1: that the men in the earlier study word to pump 178 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,640 Speaker 1: themselves up. That it's more of just sort of a 179 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: bonding experience and figuring out who you want to be. 180 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 1: I think. Yeah, And as we grow older, those gender 181 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 1: differences really start to play out even more as girls 182 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 1: continue to use or women continue to use gossip as 183 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: a form of social bonding and men start to just 184 00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: talk shop. Yeah, they're not talking about, well, they know 185 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,680 Speaker 1: girls they like. They're talking about sports, figures, politicians, people 186 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: in their class. They hardly even know, um, so you 187 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: can find out what interests them. So, you know, a guy, 188 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 1: if he's really into golf, has probably had a lot 189 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,679 Speaker 1: to gossip about in the wake up all this tiger 190 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:14,320 Speaker 1: Wood stuff. Someone he doesn't know, someone he can feel 191 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:18,080 Speaker 1: morally suppaired to know the difference between right and rome. Yeah, 192 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 1: but once again, I think we do have to underscore 193 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 1: the fact though, that men still are gossiping. It's just 194 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,680 Speaker 1: a different type of gossip. And there was another study 195 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: that we found from the University of California at Santa 196 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 1: Cruz that analyze the conversations between both female and female 197 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,680 Speaker 1: pairs and male male pairs and then mixed pairs of friends, 198 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 1: and I thought that the results were kind of interesting. 199 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 1: They found that negative gossip was more likely to occur 200 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: between female pairs and between male pairs or cross gender pairs. Also, 201 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 1: among the females, only negative gossip was more likely to 202 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:53,680 Speaker 1: happen than positive gossip. And on top of that, female 203 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 1: pairers tended to respond to evaluative gossip with highly encouraging comments, 204 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 1: kind of like what you were saying with adolescent girls, 205 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,080 Speaker 1: being like, Oh, she's so she's so cool, she's such 206 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 1: a good addresser and uh. But there were no gender 207 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 1: differences within the cross gender pairs associated with any of 208 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: the behaviors. So not only do men and women just 209 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 1: gossip differently, but also gossip differently depending on who we're 210 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 1: talking to. Like, the kind of gossip you and I 211 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: engage in would be different than the gossip that, say, 212 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: me and Chuck from stuff you should know might engage in. 213 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: Are you gossiping about me when you talk to Chuck always? 214 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: You know? Usually I feel bad when I gossip, and 215 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 1: I think you should feel bad if you're gossiping about me, 216 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: unless you are talking about how cool I am. Um. 217 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,560 Speaker 1: But what we found in this research is that gossip 218 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,440 Speaker 1: is not all bad. No, there are my benefits. You 219 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: don't have to feel so guilty for gossiping. And this 220 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:48,320 Speaker 1: will go back to what we're talking about that it 221 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:52,359 Speaker 1: might have evolved as a social tool, right, because the 222 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 1: root of gossip, the word gossip goes back to the 223 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:01,559 Speaker 1: Old English word godsib, meaning person related to one God 224 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,080 Speaker 1: or a godparent, and then we have it evolved in 225 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:07,839 Speaker 1: the eighteen hundreds to gossip denoting a man who drink 226 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,680 Speaker 1: with friends and the fellowship that they shared, and then 227 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: it kind of developed further from there to have this 228 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 1: connotation with women who were family friends and also helped 229 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 1: during childbirth. So they think that with this evolution from 230 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 1: just the general label to it being the woman family 231 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,600 Speaker 1: friend who was helping during childbirth, that's when we have 232 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,680 Speaker 1: this gendering of gossip, right. But I think that's pretty 233 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 1: cool to note that all of those relationships god parents, 234 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: man who drinks with friends, woman who helps with childbirth, 235 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 1: they all do show that that there is a relationship 236 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 1: at the root of gossip. And you know, there there 237 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 1: are some professors of psychology like Ralph ros No from 238 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,880 Speaker 1: Temple University who says that if you don't have gossip, 239 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 1: then you're basically socially alienated or indifferent. And it's true 240 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 1: because you know, even here at work, wouldn't you say 241 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 1: that the people who know the most gossip also kind 242 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 1: of have the best handle on what's going on in 243 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 1: the office. Um. And also Jack Levin, who's a PhD 244 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:09,720 Speaker 1: professor of sociology and criminology at Northeastern says, for a 245 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,000 Speaker 1: real understanding of our social environment, gossip is essential. And 246 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:16,120 Speaker 1: this is why researchers have spent so much time trying 247 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:20,320 Speaker 1: to figure out how and why humans started gossiping, and 248 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 1: because it's such a crucial social tool for making, you know, comparisons, 249 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:29,559 Speaker 1: understanding what is kosher what's not kosher. And I think 250 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,240 Speaker 1: the reason that gossip is considered so hurtful is because 251 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 1: it does define who's in, who's out, who knows what's 252 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,319 Speaker 1: going on, who doesn't. Um. The Psychology to Day article 253 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: that we are looking at says that you know, if 254 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 1: you're considered worthy enough to be gossiped about, you belong 255 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,360 Speaker 1: to a group people care about what you're doing. Yeah, 256 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,959 Speaker 1: no one's really gonna gossip about, you know, just a 257 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: quiet dude in the corner who never really talk to anybody. 258 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,680 Speaker 1: So I mean it's it's all about group involvement. And 259 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 1: because you know, in the early days, this would be 260 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 1: a social toil because you needed a group to survive. 261 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:06,320 Speaker 1: But speaking of the office environment, and we usually think 262 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 1: of gossip being a bad thing. You don't want to 263 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 1: be known as the office gossip. That's what we're told. However, 264 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: there are some benefits to gossip. Tell me, I need 265 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 1: all the benefits I can get. Well. There was a 266 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,000 Speaker 1: study that came out of a state University of New 267 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:28,040 Speaker 1: York that analyzed the difference between in in group settings 268 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 1: analyze the difference between self serving and group oriented gossip, 269 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:36,280 Speaker 1: and their research showed that gossip that was sort of 270 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: meant for group purposes was more beneficial than self serving gossip. 271 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: So if you're just trashing someone for the sake of 272 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 1: trashing someone, like when I go to the bath when 273 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 1: I write Kristen can't read on the bathroom wall, that's 274 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 1: that's not helping it. It's not gonna help anybody, and 275 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 1: it's gonna make me cry a little bit too. But 276 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 1: if I wasn't gossiping just to trash Kristen, and I 277 00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:59,800 Speaker 1: was like, guys, I don't think I think we get 278 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,720 Speaker 1: more work done. If we could help Kristin learn how 279 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:05,000 Speaker 1: to read, then maybe our productivity would go up exactly 280 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: And um, that would be a weird way to accomplish 281 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 1: more productivity. Yeah it would be, But at least i'd 282 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 1: learned to read. That'd be good. And there was another 283 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 1: recent study from Indian University that looked at gossip in 284 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 1: the workplace and also once again found that there are 285 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,840 Speaker 1: some benefits to it as well. Right now, this is 286 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,160 Speaker 1: if let's say you're in a staff meeting and all 287 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,680 Speaker 1: of a sudden, you know, you're talking about blah blah blah, 288 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: and they start talk about like other departments and other people, 289 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: and maybe you're feeling a little uncomfortable because you don't 290 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. 291 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,960 Speaker 1: And basically the university just found that sometimes it is 292 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 1: a good thing, sometimes it is a bad thing. Like 293 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 1: let's take the example of Christin reading again, um, because 294 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,600 Speaker 1: I love it and I'm really hoping it catches on. 295 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,640 Speaker 1: If if our boss were to say Kristen can't read 296 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:51,720 Speaker 1: and so she never gets anything done on time, then yeah, 297 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:57,760 Speaker 1: everyone's gonna learn that Kristen is illiterate. If the boss says, guys, 298 00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 1: I'm so proud of Kristin. She can't read yet, but 299 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,560 Speaker 1: he's trying really hard to make her letters, then we 300 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,440 Speaker 1: would learn that you're a good person and you're trying, 301 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:09,120 Speaker 1: so you'd be redirecting that negative gossip and it's effort. 302 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 1: It's just you can get a read on how people 303 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,840 Speaker 1: feel about you, and it can enhance your reputation. Whereas 304 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 1: if I got into that meeting and thought, so sick 305 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 1: of Kristin not being able to read, I have to 306 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 1: do all the podcast research on my own. And then 307 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 1: if I heard someone say Kristen is trying really hard 308 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 1: to learn how to read, then that can enhance your 309 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,280 Speaker 1: reputation because I wouldn't be as frustrated with you and 310 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 1: I have to draw all my pictures. Yeah, Tim Hallett, 311 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,720 Speaker 1: who conducted this study at I you said, if you're 312 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,800 Speaker 1: interested in learning how an organization works, you can look 313 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 1: at the org chart. But people often say, I still 314 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,480 Speaker 1: can't tell how things get done and who the prime 315 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:44,520 Speaker 1: movers are. But if you're attentive and you can see 316 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 1: who has the informal status, who's being gossiped about. Because 317 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 1: if I'm if I can't read, but I'm still being discussed, 318 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 1: you're important, then I'm important in some way. I mean, 319 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 1: obviously I'm important. I mean you've gotten fired. If they 320 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,160 Speaker 1: didn't need you. So the fact that you're here to 321 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: be gossip about out, Yeah, they're saying that's a win. 322 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 1: So that's the fine line this and this all goes 323 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 1: back to to our old podcast about office politics, because 324 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,919 Speaker 1: when you say that gossip is a big part of 325 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: office politics, because you want to be the person who 326 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,639 Speaker 1: someone can come to with really good gossip, but you 327 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,159 Speaker 1: don't want to be known as the gossip, right, the 328 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 1: fine line of office gossip. And I don't think that 329 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,639 Speaker 1: you always want to be featured in the office gossip. 330 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: But if you're never featuring the office gossip, that's the problem. 331 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 1: You're not doing enough. So you want to be talked 332 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:31,960 Speaker 1: about a little bit. So I mean, it's probably not 333 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,880 Speaker 1: earth shuttering to everyone, but it's it is a fine 334 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,639 Speaker 1: line to walk, Like, do I need to pretend that 335 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 1: I can't read so that people will talk about me more? 336 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 1: I don't know, Molly, that might not be the way 337 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 1: to go. Why am I so hung up on this 338 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:47,720 Speaker 1: illiteracy rumor? I don't know, but I'm gonna squash it 339 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 1: right now. People, I can read. I'm reading right now. 340 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:53,120 Speaker 1: Read a sentence right now? Okay, Well, uh yeah, going 341 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,440 Speaker 1: back to our original question of doom, men and women 342 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:58,600 Speaker 1: gossip differently. I think we have realized that, yes, we 343 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 1: do gossip differently. And um, Maxim dot com is wrong 344 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,399 Speaker 1: about the fact they say that men don't gossip. They 345 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,680 Speaker 1: say that men don't care enough about other people's personal 346 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,440 Speaker 1: lives to gossip about them. I am shocked that Maxim 347 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,480 Speaker 1: dot com is wrong. And Maxim, look at the research 348 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 1: you guys gossip you just don't call it gossip, but 349 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 1: not that gossip is bad. That's the other thing, you know. 350 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 1: I think gossip. I think God, I need to give 351 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,359 Speaker 1: that up for lunch or something. Yeah, but no, I 352 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: would just you know what, I would like to bring 353 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:30,360 Speaker 1: back the term god sip. I'm a god. Sup. We'll 354 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:34,360 Speaker 1: see if that works. Yeah, all right, Kristen, let's prove 355 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,719 Speaker 1: that we can read by reading some listener mails. All right, 356 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 1: So our first listener mail is from Kathleen. It's about 357 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:47,639 Speaker 1: our podcast. Um do opposites attract? And Um? She writes, 358 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 1: I think your conclusion was pretty correct that we tend 359 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,040 Speaker 1: to be attracted to people that are similar to ourselves. However, 360 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,600 Speaker 1: my husband and I saw have many opposite traits. I'm 361 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,719 Speaker 1: very common he tends to worry about everything. He can 362 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,359 Speaker 1: talk for hours and I don't always have something to say, cetera. 363 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 1: But the main reason I felt I need to write 364 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,840 Speaker 1: in because Kristen's comments about odors. When I first met 365 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 1: my husband, I loved his smell. When I would arrive 366 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 1: at his house, I could smell him in the air, 367 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,879 Speaker 1: and I love smelling his sweatshirts. Okay, that sounds very strange, 368 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,680 Speaker 1: and I get the image of dogs sniffing each other here. 369 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,560 Speaker 1: I don't know if it was just a soap or 370 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 1: just his natural body owner that I love so much, 371 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:19,879 Speaker 1: and I've either gotten used to smelling it all the 372 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,119 Speaker 1: time or its odors change because I don't smell it anymore. 373 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 1: It definitely wasn't a dirty smell, but an earthy one, 374 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 1: and sometimes I can still imagine that wonderful smell. We've 375 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,080 Speaker 1: been together for twelve years now, and though I don't 376 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 1: still smell like I did in the beginning, we're still 377 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 1: very happy. And I have to say, every email that 378 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,120 Speaker 1: comes in about people sniffing their significant other is just 379 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,760 Speaker 1: a great email to read. It is good at a 380 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,679 Speaker 1: lot of the people sniff each other. Keep them coming. Um, Well, 381 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,679 Speaker 1: I've got an email here from Eric about our Disney 382 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 1: Princesses podcast. He said, I found it interesting that as 383 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,320 Speaker 1: I listened to the trials and tribulations that princess worship 384 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,160 Speaker 1: could create and mirrored the life of boys too. Molly 385 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,679 Speaker 1: mentioned girls being stressed to be beautiful and perfect and 386 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,040 Speaker 1: saved the prince, but fall us in the water. But 387 00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:03,800 Speaker 1: boys are expected to slay dragons, save the day, and 388 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,560 Speaker 1: do the impossible all the time, not to mention the 389 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: real social pressure always to always man up and be 390 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,080 Speaker 1: a man. I see the princess movies as an opportunity 391 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,479 Speaker 1: to talk to my kids. Their friends watch them, and 392 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,680 Speaker 1: so my kids wanted to watch them, so I watched 393 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,440 Speaker 1: them too. So now I say things like, maybe you're 394 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,000 Speaker 1: more like Mulan and you have to pave your own 395 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,280 Speaker 1: path in life. Or look at how big a mistake 396 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 1: Aerial made. We can fix it. Thanks for the great work, 397 00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 1: keep it up and thank you Eric. So, guys, if 398 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:35,879 Speaker 1: you have any any good gossip um and once again, 399 00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,680 Speaker 1: I don't drink at work and I can read and 400 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:42,879 Speaker 1: just underscore that, uh, send it our way. Our email 401 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,600 Speaker 1: is mom Stuff at how stuff works dot com. During 402 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,479 Speaker 1: the week, you can check out all of our juicy 403 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: gossip on our gossip blog how to Stuff. Not actually 404 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,159 Speaker 1: gossip blog, but sometimes there's gossip on there. If you 405 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:57,480 Speaker 1: read between the uh so yeah check it out, you'll 406 00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,000 Speaker 1: definitely go now huh how to Stuff. And you can 407 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:04,280 Speaker 1: also read how Gossip Works by Tracy V. Wilson at 408 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:10,040 Speaker 1: how stuff works dot com for more on this and 409 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:14,320 Speaker 1: thousands of other topics. Is it how stuff works dot com. 410 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,280 Speaker 1: Want more how stuff works, check out our blogs on 411 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:24,240 Speaker 1: the how stuff works dot com home page. Brought to 412 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,359 Speaker 1: you by the Reinvented two thousand twelve camera. It's ready, 413 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 1: are you