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Speaker 1: Good.

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Speaker 2: All right, break it down.

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Speaker 1: If you ever have feelings that you just won'ts Amy

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Speaker 1: and Cat gotcha covin locking a brother. Ladies and folks,

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Speaker 1: do you just follow on the spirit where it's telling

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Speaker 1: the front over real stuff, tell the chill stuff and

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Speaker 1: the m But Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can

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Speaker 1: do it just stop you feel things. This is feeling

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Speaker 1: things with Amy and Cat.

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Speaker 2: Happy Tuesday, feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Cat, and

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Speaker 2: today we're getting into something really important. Feelings aren't facts.

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Speaker 1: Oh that is good. It's good and also addition to

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Speaker 1: our feeling of the day because we know we're gonna

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Speaker 1: do that. Yeah, we are going to do an email

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Speaker 1: of the day, which we need to jingle for cause, but.

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Speaker 2: It can't be you can't be of the day. No,

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Speaker 2: if it's feeling of the day, we need a new

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Speaker 2: one for email of the day. So we'll just have

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Speaker 2: to let's do it in the moment.

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Speaker 1: I guess we get to it. Okay, we're not going

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Speaker 1: to do it now.

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Speaker 2: I think we do the dingle when it comes up. Okay,

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Speaker 2: when it's time for the Email of the day. Plus

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Speaker 2: I need to kind of think about I feel pressure. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because it's it feels natural to just go email of

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Speaker 2: the day, which maybe we will, but maybe we'll find something.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we'll find out before we get into some

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Speaker 2: of that though. Did you hear me talking to myself

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Speaker 2: when you got to my house.

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Speaker 1: Which too often?

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Speaker 2: Oh you noticed that I do that a lot? Oh okay,

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Speaker 2: Well I feel good about that then, because I was

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Speaker 2: doing some research on it. Well, I came across something

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Speaker 2: about internal dialogue and also just talking to yourself, whether

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Speaker 2: inside your head or outside your head, so externally talking

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Speaker 2: out loud. And I was saying, like, stretch, Like I

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Speaker 2: got a stretch. I got a stretch because I need

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Speaker 2: to remind myself to stretch more because I'm trying to

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Speaker 2: take care of my eighty year old self. So forty

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Speaker 2: four year old me needs to stretch for eighty year

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Speaker 2: old me so that I'm not in a nursing home. Shoot,

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Speaker 2: maybe even seventy year old me, because that'll keep you

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Speaker 2: out of the nurse keep me out of there. Yes,

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Speaker 2: and I was reminding myself to stretch. But stretch now

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Speaker 2: has a double meaning because ever since you told me

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Speaker 2: about the stretching versus compromising in a relationship, I not

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Speaker 2: only want to stretch my muscles and tendons and ligaments,

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Speaker 2: but I want to stretch in my relationship. I want

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Speaker 2: to also compromise, but I think there are certain things

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Speaker 2: where I need to do some stretching and my boyfriend

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Speaker 2: needs to also stretch. And it's such a good little

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Speaker 2: nugget of wisdom. And I think you got it from

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Speaker 2: your therapist, right, yeah, okay, so I want you to

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Speaker 2: share it with everybody.

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Speaker 1: This is passed down therapist therapist, therapist to friend. I

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Speaker 1: was talking to my therapist one day about how to compromise.

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Speaker 1: I needed to be better at it. Sometimes I struggle

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Speaker 1: with that because it feels like I'm Sometimes it feels

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Speaker 1: like you're losing, or it feels like you're giving up

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Speaker 1: or whatever. And she said she likes to think of

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Speaker 1: those kinds of things that you're stretching in a relationship.

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Speaker 1: So you doing something that you normally wouldn't do or

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Speaker 1: that you normally wouldn't want to do, is more like

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Speaker 1: you stretching some of your what you're comfortable with, stretch

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Speaker 1: your boundaries, sometimes stretching what you're used to. And I

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Speaker 1: just loved that metaphor of like, where can I stretch

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Speaker 1: more versus what am I giving up? I'm working on it.

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Speaker 2: It's helped. It's like a slight change that was more

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Speaker 2: positive to me. To help your relationship tremendously.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna grow versus I'm shrinking. Compromise sometimes just feels

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Speaker 1: like you're shrinking. This feels like I'm becoming more and

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Speaker 1: you both get to do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're stretching over there, lots of stretching. But sometimes

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Speaker 2: stretching is a little painful, just like actually physically, like

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Speaker 2: I can't been down and touch on things. I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: my hamstrings are really tight. So if you're trying to

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Speaker 2: add this into your relationship, at first, you might be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: this is uncomfortable, this feels weird, this doesn't feel very positive.

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Speaker 2: But the more you do it, the easier it gets.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So the study that I saw about talking to yourself,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna share with you now. It sharpens cognitive function.

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Speaker 2: It's from Banger University, but I don't know if that's

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Speaker 2: how you say it. Maybe it's bangor Bungo. It's but

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Speaker 2: bangor University just sounded better bungor Bungo.

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Speaker 1: But it's in the UK.

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Speaker 2: It's in the UK Bank Bangor Bangor, But it's a

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Speaker 2: prestigious university.

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Speaker 1: That's why I feel like I want to say it

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Speaker 1: correctly now. Banger University.

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Speaker 2: I looked it up because I felt like Bangor University

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Speaker 2: wasn't giving us much cred But it was founded in

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Speaker 2: eighteen eighty four, dedicated to academic excellence for more than

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Speaker 2: one hundred and thirty five years. It's one of the

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Speaker 2: oldest and most prestigious degree awarding institutions. Bangor University acceptance

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Speaker 2: rate is around fifty six percent. Oh, in case she

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Speaker 2: carries about admissions.

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Speaker 1: Bangor Bangor, Yeah, that sounds prestigious.

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Speaker 2: And my internal dialogue was like Banger University, and then

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Speaker 2: it suddenly wasn't feeling that credible.

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Speaker 3: But it is.

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Speaker 2: So they did this whole study and found that verbalizing

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Speaker 2: thoughts improves focus, speeds up problem solving, and boost memory.

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Speaker 2: Participants who spoke out loud while searching for objects like

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Speaker 2: where are my keys? Like if I'm my keys, I'm

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Speaker 2: so stupid? Why do I lose my keys all the time?

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Speaker 1: No, I don't think you get to say the last part.

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Speaker 2: Okay, don't don't talk to yourself like that. But if

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Speaker 2: you talk out loud while searching, you are fifty percent

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Speaker 2: more successful in finding whatever it is you're looking.

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Speaker 1: For fifty So it says, okay, we got to start

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Speaker 1: doing that. This is also I was started to laugh

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Speaker 1: because you said it helps with memory. That reminds me

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Speaker 1: of what's the movie called House Bunny? When she's like, Amy,

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Speaker 1: you don't know what I'm talking about.

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Speaker 2: I don't know that I ever saw House Bunny. So

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Speaker 2: I love how. I'm like, Kat, have you seen the

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Speaker 2: classics like Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman? And you're like, no,

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Speaker 2: but I've seen House Bunny.

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Speaker 1: What it's also a classic? Okay with Anna Faris. I'm

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Speaker 1: pretty sure she's in it. I don't know, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: thought everybody would know this.

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Speaker 2: No, but does she have an internal dialogue?

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Speaker 1: So she is this person I don't remember most This

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Speaker 1: is all I remember from that whole movie. This is

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Speaker 1: the only thing I remember is when she meets somebody news,

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Speaker 1: she says she says their name like that is their name?

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Speaker 1: Like that, and then she's like, sorry, it helps my memory.

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Speaker 1: So when she meets somebody of your name was like Courtney,

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Speaker 1: she'd be.

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Speaker 2: Like, oh, I wonder if Banger University has research on this.

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Speaker 2: They probably got it from Banger University. Why they put

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Speaker 2: that in the movie.

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Speaker 1: And now you're okay, if you did that with people's names,

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Speaker 1: you would never forget them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they'll never forget, never forget you. Like, okay, but

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Speaker 2: the research continues.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: It also suggests that internal dialogue is a sign of

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Speaker 2: strong cognitive health. Historical geniuses like Albert Einstein, we're known

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Speaker 2: for practicing this. You're just like Albert, Yeah, but my

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Speaker 2: internal dialogue is probably not like his. His is always

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Speaker 2: like me squared equals.

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Speaker 1: What is that so fun that you said why equals?

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Speaker 2: I mean, and mine's more like you.

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Speaker 1: Stupid idiot.

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Speaker 2: I highly doubtindside ever said you don't like that? But

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Speaker 2: self talk helps again emotional regulation. Oh no, this isn't

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Speaker 2: I haven't even said this stuff yet. Emotional regulation reduces

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Speaker 2: stress and improves decision making. Maybe I did touch on that,

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Speaker 2: So there you go. Talk to yourself. But some people

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Speaker 2: don't have internal dialogue, which is crazy to me. It

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Speaker 2: blows my mind when people are like, no, I don't

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Speaker 2: really talk to myself. And I mean they're smart, intelligent

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Speaker 2: people too, they just don't have a lot of conversation

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Speaker 2: with themselves.

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Speaker 1: Which would be interesting of how do you do they journal?

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Speaker 1: And also I guess I'm curious because I don't know

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Speaker 1: a ton about this is the difference between internal dialogue

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Speaker 1: and you talking out loud, that's not exactly the same thing.

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Speaker 2: Well, you can practice, I think you can say it

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Speaker 2: out loud, and you can also practice internally having a

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Speaker 2: conversation with yourself, because I think that's what Albert was practicing.

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Speaker 2: Because you can have internal dialogue that you're not even

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Speaker 2: asking for, it's just happening. I think you and I

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Speaker 2: both have a lot of that. But I guess it's

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Speaker 2: like if you're if you don't have it as much,

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Speaker 2: or you're trying to be real intentional with something, you

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Speaker 2: are like, Okay, I'm gonna have lots of thoughts right now,

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Speaker 2: let's really talk it out in my head. So it's

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Speaker 2: being intentional with it.

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Speaker 1: Okay. I like that. That's good stuff that that we

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Speaker 1: can use already.

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Speaker 2: Shout out banger. All right, let's do the feeling of

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Speaker 2: the day. I'm excited to get this to the one.

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Speaker 2: Oh sorry, the feeling of the day.

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Speaker 1: It's like we're on some kids show that's like, come on, kids,

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Speaker 1: it's time for what the feeling of the day.

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Speaker 2: Gather around.

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Speaker 1: It's just like my dream to be on Barney when

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Speaker 1: I was little, So maybe that's like this is your version.

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Speaker 1: I was too. I missed it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Barney, I.

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Speaker 1: Went to Barney Line popular, you did. I had four

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Speaker 1: different Barney's. Oh yeah, A Talking Barney, Santa Barney, Regular Barney,

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Speaker 1: and Minnie Barney.

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Speaker 2: Well, your feeling of the day is confused, and now

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Speaker 2: I'm confused by why you had so many Barney's.

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Speaker 1: I loved Barney. He was my best friend. I also

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Speaker 1: had all the VHS's in my clo It's not weird, weird,

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Speaker 1: it sounds weird. It's not weird for a little kid

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Speaker 1: to be best friend with Barney, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I know, but I'm telling you I

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Speaker 2: missed it. Although I missed the Barney craze.

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Speaker 1: That was the show that they had kids shows when

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Speaker 1: you were a kid.

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Speaker 2: Did I watch Save by the Bell?

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Speaker 1: That's not a kid's show? Yes, it was.

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Speaker 2: I spent every Saturday with Zach it was he was

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Speaker 2: He was my boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: Also, I remember when I moved This is side note.

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Speaker 1: This is the ADHD coming out. When we moved to Tennessee.

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Speaker 1: In second grade, I went to my class house a

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Speaker 1: new kid, and they're all introducing themselves, and one of

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Speaker 1: the kids was like, and we don't like Barney in

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Speaker 1: here for because that's for losers, or like something like

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Speaker 1: that's for little dorks or something. And I remember going

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Speaker 1: home and being like, mom, what am I gonna do? Like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not allowed to hang out with Barney anymore. He

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Speaker 1: sleeps with me everything. Then one time my babysitter came over.

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Speaker 1: He was putting me to bed and he handed me

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Speaker 1: my barney. Yeah he was a guy.

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Speaker 2: No, it's fine. I wouldn't I'm not in a male

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Speaker 2: babysitters so that's just me.

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Speaker 1: He was, I think he was. He was the older

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Speaker 1: brother of my brother's friend. Wow, is that weird?

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Speaker 2: It is for me, I just wouldn't do it.

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Speaker 1: But that's I know. People. I thought he was cool

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Speaker 1: because I thought it was cute. I'm sure, but I

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Speaker 1: didn't think it was cute when me heading me my barney,

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Speaker 1: and so I threw it out of my door and

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Speaker 1: I said, I don't sleep with that.

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Speaker 2: Don't be ridiculous. I don't even know where that came from.

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Speaker 1: I probably ran back out and got it, and it's probably.

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Speaker 2: Like, well, you have three more of them lined up.

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Speaker 1: You have all the hs is lined up in your closet.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, no, I know that that's a hot topic

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Speaker 2: of male babysitters. Is it not a hot topic maybe

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Speaker 2: because you had one? But I never had a male

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Speaker 2: babysitter growing up, and I've never hired one. And I

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Speaker 2: don't know if it's just because I have this pre

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Speaker 2: conceived thing like it's conditioning and I'm not saying it's right,

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Speaker 2: but I just err on the side of like, that's okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm good.

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Speaker 1: I guess it wasn't it's talking about I'm solicited for

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Speaker 1: a babysitter. It was like a family friend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, but maybe I do have some personal stories

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Speaker 2: with people growing up that I know, and and that's

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Speaker 2: not fair, Yeah, because they're amazing male babysitters and caregivers

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Speaker 2: and manny's.

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Speaker 1: And a lot of things are different than they were

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Speaker 1: back then, Like people don't do sleepovers like they used

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Speaker 1: to either, so male babysitters and sleep bowers are out.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. Is it weird that I have a

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Speaker 2: very strong feeling around that and you're you've never you've

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Speaker 2: never encountered someone being like, oh no, I don't do

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Speaker 2: male babysitters.

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Speaker 1: I guess. I don't talk about male babysitters a lot

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Speaker 1: with people. But I don't think it's weird because if

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Speaker 1: you had different experiences and you know stories, I had

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Speaker 1: a completely different experience. I had that, so I don't

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Speaker 1: think the same thing because we grew up in different environments.

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Speaker 2: I know, well, we have determined we have like now

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Speaker 2: ten male listeners, and I don't want to offend anybody,

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Speaker 2: especially if some of them babies.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, whatever makes you feel comfortable as a parent.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you just have to vet and do your own

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Speaker 2: research and trust.

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Speaker 1: Your anyway, gut, I definitely wasn't sleeping with my Barney

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Speaker 1: when the male babysitter was the hot. I don't know

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Speaker 1: that I would have called him hot. As a kid,

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Speaker 1: I would have said he was cute.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, that's more appropriate.

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Speaker 1: Okay. Feeling the day, yes, Okay, So while you're confused

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Speaker 1: about this, I was on Instagram the other day and

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Speaker 1: I saw this. I guess it was just a post

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Speaker 1: that said it was a therapist's minded account and it said,

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Speaker 1: what are some things that your therapist has done that

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Speaker 1: gave you the ick, And before I read all of it,

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Speaker 1: I think I even sent it to you and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, this would be interesting. And then I

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Speaker 1: started reading it and I was like, this isn't really funny.

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Speaker 1: A lot of them were like very inappropriate.

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Speaker 2: So it's surpassed ick.

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Speaker 1: Yes, where I'm like, this should not be giving you

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Speaker 1: the ick. This should be like red flag, gotta get

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Speaker 1: out of here.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: It is just kind of like, that's weird, but whatever,

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Speaker 1: I might be able to move through that. Some of

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Speaker 1: these were crazy. So I was feeling confused about this

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Speaker 1: from the perspective of because I am a therapist, it

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Speaker 1: would never cross my mind. I'm sure that I've done

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Speaker 1: a lot of things incorrectly, and I'm sure i've given

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Speaker 1: a client the ick before.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, I wish you could do some sort of

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Speaker 2: email blast all your clients and just be like, have

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Speaker 2: I given any of you the ick in any way?

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Speaker 2: And we get a report back.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I don't want that feedback. Second of all,

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Speaker 1: they'd be like, uh huh, Like what kind of email is?

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Speaker 2: They'd be like, or they'd be like, I've been waiting

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Speaker 2: for this, or maybe you just send it out to

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Speaker 2: people that have not returned.

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Speaker 1: So what was it that I did that gave you

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Speaker 1: the ick and you never came back?

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Speaker 2: What was some of this?

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Speaker 1: Okay? I wrote some of them down, and then what

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Speaker 1: I also did is I took some of them because

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Speaker 1: some of them I wouldn't even want to share because

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Speaker 1: they were I don't want people to be that afraid

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Speaker 1: of therapy. But then I put a little box question

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Speaker 1: box on my Instagram and ask people and I'm going

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Speaker 1: to read you a couple of them. And I'm also

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Speaker 1: curious if you have any too, But let me read

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Speaker 1: some of these. And I'm going to read you a

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Speaker 1: couple of them. And I'm also curious if you have

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Speaker 1: any too, but let me read some of these. So

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Speaker 1: one was this got me? My therapist was knitting during

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Speaker 1: our session.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I've thought about this. My first initial thing that

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Speaker 2: popped in my mind is you know sometimes you doodle?

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Speaker 2: Do you ever doodle and you're actually able to pay

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Speaker 2: attention more because you're doodling?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that works for me.

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Speaker 2: So I'm curious, does this therapist knit in order to

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Speaker 2: better pay attention?

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Speaker 1: So that is very kind of you to think that way.

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Speaker 1: I do when I if I'm listening to something like

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Speaker 1: a lecture. In school, I always had to doodle or

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Speaker 1: write notes or something else. I would totally be in space.

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Speaker 1: So I get that. As a therapist, though, that comes off.

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Speaker 1: If I was doodling during my sessions. I think that

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Speaker 1: would come off like I wasn't really paying attention to them,

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Speaker 1: even though it would help. So if I was going

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Speaker 1: to do something, if I was gonna do something like that,

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Speaker 1: I would think it would be fair.

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Speaker 2: For me to let my client know, like, how do

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Speaker 2: it exist what I do? Yeah, like I'm the best

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Speaker 2: therapist ever. Well, just so you know, I ever going

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Speaker 2: to color while you talk? Yes, okay, what's next?

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Speaker 1: So I would encourage to not not in it. Therapists

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Speaker 1: ate lunch during.

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Speaker 2: My sessions, okay, like you have to eat on your

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Speaker 2: own time? Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: And also what if it smells and oh no.

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Speaker 2: You know, yeah, I can't have an odor.

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Speaker 1: It's one thing if you're eating lunch with your therapist,

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Speaker 1: and that's part of the therapy. Therapist is like, oh

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Speaker 1: if I have a busy day, like, it's weird held

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Speaker 1: a therapy session virtually from a bar.

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Speaker 2: Oh, which is.

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Speaker 1: Weird. You can't do that like, what would you I've

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Speaker 1: had clients tried to do a virtual session in an

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Speaker 1: inappropriate spot, but for the therapist to do that.

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Speaker 2: So like if I wanted to do it from a bar,

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Speaker 2: you would you could know if I wanted to do

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Speaker 2: therapy from.

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Speaker 1: A bar, you can't.

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Speaker 2: Why, hippa, You're not in a private I'm the person

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 1: But even if I'm doing a virtual there are some

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Speaker 1: people when they do virtual sessions, they make you this

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Speaker 1: is like the best practice supposed to make them give

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Speaker 1: you a three sixty view of the room so you

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Speaker 1: know nobody else is in there.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I have never been told to do that.

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Speaker 1: Well, most people don't do that. That's like the best practice,

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Speaker 1: but it's kind of awkward.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So no bars bars yekay.

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Speaker 1: And that's also like not an environment where you Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that speaks for herself. Okay, this one. I

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Speaker 1: do have thoughts on therapists yawned a lot. Has your

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Speaker 1: therapist ever yawned? No?

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Speaker 2: Why do you yawn a lot?

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Speaker 3: Never?

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Speaker 2: Hey, I guess I'm not boring. I keep my therapist

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Speaker 2: on her toes.

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Speaker 1: Well, sometimes I'm yawning, but I'm not tired. I think

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Speaker 1: sometimes Yeah, yawning doesn't mean it's like getting tire into

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Speaker 1: your lungs, is what I've learned, So that is. But

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Speaker 1: sometimes you can't help it, and it's more distracting when

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Speaker 1: you see somebody and be like, like, try to not yawn.

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Speaker 1: Then I'm just yawning. I'm moving on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but if my therapists were to yawn when I'm

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Speaker 2: trying to talk about something, I'd be like, I've been mortified.

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Speaker 2: I know that it's not bad, but I would just

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Speaker 2: be like, oh, yeah, maybe I.

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Speaker 1: Don't have that because my therapist is Yonn too. I

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Speaker 1: don't have that experience because I also have the experience

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Speaker 1: of yawning during a session. No, I need the yawn, see,

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Speaker 1: and you have to have to get one out.

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Speaker 2: I got. I tried to get it out as much

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Speaker 2: as possible because it's not good to hold it out

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Speaker 2: if you hold in a yawn. I know there's a

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Speaker 2: thing like maybe Shannon can look it up for us,

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Speaker 2: Like I talked about this on the Bobby Bunch the

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Speaker 2: other day because he told us we can't yawn anymore,

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Speaker 2: and I said, Bobby, sometimes I'm not young because it

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Speaker 2: throws him off and then it makes it it just

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Speaker 2: it's not a good vibe for the room. But I'm like,

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Speaker 2: if I have to yawn, and it may not even

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Speaker 2: because I'm tired, I just need to yawn. So maybe

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Speaker 2: I need to have that same grace for my therapist.

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Speaker 2: Although I've never had my therapist yawn before. So I

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Speaker 2: guess if it's virtual, you can just like duck down

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Speaker 2: out of the screen.

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Speaker 1: Be right back. I need to plug in my computer,

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Speaker 1: and then you just go to the floor. I'd be

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Speaker 1: interested in what the contagious of yawning is to figure

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Speaker 1: that out. What do you mean, like, why why it's contagious?

402
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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Because, yeah, I could see that being a problem at

404
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Speaker 1: the Bobby Bone Show because if you yawn and then

405
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Speaker 1: Bobby's yawning, and then whoever else is and then it's

406
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Speaker 1: like a big yon fest.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So holding in a yawn can lead to build

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Speaker 2: up a pressure and a feeling of needing a yawn

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Speaker 2: even more, while you might not be able to fully

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Speaker 2: release the yon, suppressing it and causing the need to intensify,

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Speaker 2: and then that just get gets worse. But I know

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Speaker 2: there's other things like if you hold it in, there's

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Speaker 2: other things.

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Speaker 1: You might flo you know, your eyes will pop up.

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Speaker 2: It can manifest is other stuff. Oh yeah, I'll get

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Speaker 2: to it. Keep reading others, then we'll read it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So here's another. One laughed at me when I

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Speaker 1: explained one of the worst nights of my life, which, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm interested in the context, because.

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Speaker 2: That's why I couldn't be a therapist.

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Speaker 1: I'd probably, but you can sense when somebody's telling a

422
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Speaker 1: story and like you might tell that same story, you

423
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Speaker 1: would think it's funny, and then I would laugh with

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Speaker 1: you if I also thought it was funny. But if

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Speaker 1: somebody's explaining to you, like a traumatic event, it's never

426
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Speaker 1: clicked in my mind mind to laugh. Oh yeah, you know, yeah, okay,

427
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Speaker 1: this is interesting. Advice told me that men are like

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Speaker 1: dogs and they need to be trained. Oh this is

429
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Speaker 1: just so funny thing for it. Yeah, I'd be like, okay,

430
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Speaker 1: what do you mean.

431
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Speaker 2: A moment and you're like, tell your husband, Well, my

432
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Speaker 2: therapist told me you're a dog and I need to

433
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Speaker 2: train you. So I got you this shock collar. Okay,

434
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Speaker 2: if you don't yawn, it can increase your heart rate,

435
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Speaker 2: your blood pressure, lead to anxiety, nervousness, like if you

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Speaker 2: hold it in that feeling of like the inner something

437
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:40,399
Speaker 2: has to go somewhere. Well, you also could become irritated.

438
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,880
Speaker 1: So my aunt, who's a doctor, she's not a doctor,

439
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 1: she's an ear nurse. I remember her saying that I've

440
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 1: just taken this as fact that yawning is just your

441
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:54,360
Speaker 1: body trying to get in more oxygen. Okay, so that's

442
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 1: why I've not felt as bad to when I've yawned,

443
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,880
Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh, I'm just trying to breathe, you know, well.

444
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,280
Speaker 2: See I'm tired. I'm just trying to breathe.

445
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,840
Speaker 1: What we'll say next time, Okay, I just have a

446
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 1: couple more. This one is answered a text on her

447
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 1: laptop and I heard the sound when I sent, so

448
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,200
Speaker 1: that's probably on a virtual session. Here's another thing, and

449
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 1: this is a clue if anybody who is in virtual

450
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,200
Speaker 1: therapy or is a therapist and does virtual therapy, you

451
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,400
Speaker 1: need to be very careful of what glasses you're wearing

452
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 1: because you can see the reflection on especially blue light.

453
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: The reflection is so clear. So if you're texting or

454
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:31,440
Speaker 1: you get a pick, yep, if you get a pick,

455
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 1: I also get the pick, So just be careful with that.

456
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 2: Uh.

457
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: One is showed me a picture of her kids in

458
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 1: Halloween costumes in the middle of our session. That's I

459
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 1: got a lot like that that were like, just gave

460
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:47,639
Speaker 1: me too much personal information, which I understand. There is

461
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,479
Speaker 1: a there's a fine line there. But the best one

462
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 1: I got came from cry Okay she sent me when

463
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,359
Speaker 1: I said, like, what's something that your therapist did that

464
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 1: gave you the ck? She just sent in disagreed with me.

465
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:08,640
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's sure. That's not great.

466
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,200
Speaker 2: Priankat doesn't want to be disagreed with She's.

467
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 1: Like, I'm never coming back here. But does a.

468
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 2: Therapist like say you don't agree with your client, Like,

469
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 2: how do you say, Like do you say I don't

470
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,919
Speaker 2: agree with what you're saying or I don't It.

471
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 1: Would depend on what it was.

472
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:24,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess that's true.

473
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,879
Speaker 1: So there's ways to like, there's an art to disagree

474
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:31,400
Speaker 1: with somebody, and also there's art to share your insight

475
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 1: even if it doesn't match up. But there's a difference

476
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,399
Speaker 1: between that and somebody being like I'm gonna go, you know,

477
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 1: ruin ten years of sobriety because I'm pissed about blah

478
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 1: blah blah, and me being like this is not a

479
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 1: good idea.

480
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I can't submort first, I don't agree with that.

481
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,919
Speaker 1: Yes versus something else where I'm like, oh, I can

482
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 1: see why you would want to do that. Can we

483
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 1: look at this too, That's like I don't want any

484
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 1: of it.

485
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 2: Kend of like, don't disagree with me, And that's why

486
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:01,040
Speaker 2: you're going to therapy to be affirmed so that you're

487
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 2: not like my way or the highway. So, just to

488
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 2: wrap up the yawning thing, I have more info.

489
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:08,679
Speaker 1: This is never gonna end.

490
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 2: It has multiple potential causes, including tiredness, which is the

491
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 2: obvious one, boredom, which we think of butt stress and

492
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 2: brain temperature regulation are another reason why you yawn, and

493
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 2: the exact purpose still debated, but those are just some

494
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,400
Speaker 2: of the reasons, and it's generally accepted that yawning plays

495
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 2: a role in regulating the brain temperature though and increasing alertness.

496
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 2: So you can now say I get that I yawn,

497
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 2: and you may think that that equals me being bored

498
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 2: or tired, but actually what I'm doing is just increasing

499
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,680
Speaker 2: my awareness and if I were.

500
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 1: To hold it in, you wouldn't be getting the best

501
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 1: of me.

502
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, then I'm not aware of anything you're saying.

503
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,400
Speaker 1: So when you have your first session with your client,

504
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:51,959
Speaker 1: you talk to them about your yawns and you talk

505
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 1: to them about your doodling and your knitting.

506
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:55,399
Speaker 2: No, you're yawning and your yearning.

507
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 1: That's in the informed consent at the bottom FI, I

508
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 1: will be yearning and yearning.

509
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,920
Speaker 2: Well, so let's say that I do have a therapist

510
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 2: that does some of this stuff. Like, I haven't encountered

511
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 2: any of this, but let's say that I do. Like,

512
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 2: what do people do? Do they run and find a

513
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 2: different one or can they confront or get curious about

514
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:20,679
Speaker 2: what's happening.

515
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 1: I think that it is normal for your therapist to

516
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:27,400
Speaker 1: do more than one thing that you are not obsessed with. Right,

517
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,920
Speaker 1: you shouldn't take everything your therapist says as gold or

518
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,560
Speaker 1: everything they do as the standard. They should be trying

519
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,879
Speaker 1: their best to do the right thing. Well yeah, I mean,

520
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:40,120
Speaker 1: I'm also paying you right to well, so it's good practice, though,

521
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,199
Speaker 1: I think, because in the therapeutic room, you're practicing how

522
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,119
Speaker 1: you want to show up outside in your real world.

523
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 1: So if your therapist does something I say this in

524
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 1: my first sessions with people, I don't talk to them

525
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:54,160
Speaker 1: about yearning and yawning. But I do say is if

526
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 1: I ever say something that you disagree with or you

527
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 1: don't like, or if I make a face because you

528
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 1: know me and faces that doesn't feel right to you,

529
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,720
Speaker 1: I want you to be able to bring that to

530
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 1: me and share that with me. Or if we do

531
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 1: something and it just doesn't feel right and it feels

532
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 1: like I'm pushing you too hard, I want you to

533
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 1: be able to come and bring that to me and

534
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:15,920
Speaker 1: let's talk about that before you just like run for

535
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 1: the hills, because that could be a way for you

536
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,920
Speaker 1: to practice speaking up for yourself, empowering yourself, having healthy confrontation.

537
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,399
Speaker 1: If I'm uncomfortable by the confrontation, you don't have to

538
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 1: worry about it. That's my job to deal with my

539
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 1: own stuff. So I encourage people to bring that up

540
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 1: before they leave or or like I got the ick

541
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:40,200
Speaker 1: buy because that could just be reinforcing a habit you

542
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 1: have in your real life where you avoid anything that's uncomfortable.

543
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,240
Speaker 1: There are things in here that I would say, this

544
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 1: is a red flag, you gotta go. It might not

545
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 1: even be worth the conversation, like the virtual from the

546
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 1: bar that yes, that is so crazy, to me. But

547
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,400
Speaker 1: I mean even the knitting, I think I would say like, hey,

548
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: I'm just curious, is this a normal thing you do?

549
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: I feel like you're not listening to me.

550
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm confused by this, yeah, which one of the

551
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 2: gifts of confusion. So if you're feeling confused, the gift

552
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 2: of that. I think sometimes we can be an annoyed

553
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 2: that we're feeling confused, like, oh, like I don't don't

554
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 2: like not understanding what's happening. But we love the gifts

555
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 2: and the impairments of our feelings. And the gift of

556
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:23,880
Speaker 2: confusion is a sign that you're learning or growing, you're

557
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 2: paying attention. It invites curiosity, reflection, and a deeper understanding

558
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:34,360
Speaker 2: like help me understand why you're knitting, And it humbles

559
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,959
Speaker 2: you and keeps you open to new ideas. So confusion

560
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 2: if you allow yourself to really be confused, yes, And

561
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,879
Speaker 2: if you don't allow yourself to be confused, the impairment

562
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 2: can lead to just feeling frozen, not doing anything, self doubt,

563
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:54,400
Speaker 2: which also leads to frustration. So don't leave it unchecked

564
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 2: because it can block decision making and and this can

565
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 2: be a help you sort of waiting things right avoiding

566
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 2: challenges instead of getting curious and leaning in.

567
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: Yes that or I think we are used to in general.

568
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 1: I'll speak for myself. I'm used to like, first thought

569
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 1: is judgmental, and I'm going to make an assumption about it,

570
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 1: versus huh, that is interesting. Let's get curious about that

571
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 1: and ask a question. And this helps you practice that.

572
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 1: And I actually did have a therapist say something, not

573
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:27,920
Speaker 1: the one I have now, but the last one I had.

574
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 1: She said something that I really did not sit well

575
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 1: with me at first. Once she said I laughed along

576
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 1: with her, and then I got home and I was like,

577
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 1: that really actually kind of hurt my feelings. So I

578
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 1: went back and we talked about it, and I went

579
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 1: to three or four more sessions with her, and then

580
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 1: those similar kind of comments kept happening, and so I

581
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 1: got enough information where I was like, maybe she's not

582
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: for me, but I did go back and try to

583
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 1: address it VERSU run away. Oooh.

584
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 2: That's a good way to lead into how feelings are

585
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 2: in facts, and you can even collect data with how

586
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,639
Speaker 2: you're feeling. If you just go off an initial feeling,

587
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 2: you have to understand that your feelings can't be in

588
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,680
Speaker 2: the driver's seat. Annie f Downs was on my podcast

589
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,120
Speaker 2: several years ago, and something that she said that stuck

590
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 2: with me, and I don't know if she credited to

591
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 2: anybody else, but I just remember her saying is She's like,

592
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 2: I like my feelings to ride shotgun. I want them

593
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 2: to be near. They're very helpful. I want them to

594
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 2: be by my side, but I don't want them in

595
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 2: the driver's seat. I do think that you can pay

596
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 2: attention to your feelings and collect data and then that

597
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 2: is fact. It's like, Okay, I was feeling confused by this,

598
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 2: and I decided to start evaluating things, taking some notes,

599
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 2: and this happened four times in a row. So I'm

600
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 2: no longer confused like this. Now I have clarity. Yeah,

601
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 2: so I feel pretty clear that my confusion, which was

602
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 2: a signal, like it wasn't a stop sign. It wasn't

603
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 2: like or you have to stop, but it was a

604
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 2: signal for me to yield pay attention.

605
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 1: And that's what X really should be, is like yielding, like,

606
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 1: let's pay attention to this. But I think the feelings

607
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: not facts is such a helpful thing to integrate into

608
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 1: your brain. Because even you've said a couple of things.

609
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 1: We're like, even we're using that for Albert Einstein. When

610
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I'm so stupid, where are my keys?

611
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 1: I can always lose them, right, I feel so stupid.

612
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, well you aren't stupid.

613
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 2: I may feel stupid in that moment, and I shouldn't

614
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 2: talk to myself that way. Yeah, but the fact is

615
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 2: I'm not stupid.

616
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:28,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, not stupid, And everybody loses their keys. So feelings

617
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 1: are not facts. I can have an experience even like

618
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm going to die, doesn't always mean

619
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:36,719
Speaker 1: you're going to die. That might just be if it's

620
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 1: super truck, it could be a trigger from something really traumatic,

621
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 1: or it could just be an experience like a roller

622
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 1: coaster or something like that. Like I'm not actually this

623
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 1: isn't actually happening, but I am having a feeling that

624
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 1: reminds me of that.

625
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 2: I have a metaphor. I don't know if you want

626
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 2: to hear it, but I always want to hear a metaphor.

627
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 2: Feelings are like weather, real and present, but not permanent

628
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 2: and not always accurately predicting the climate.

629
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, wow, that's good. We didn't It's that

630
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: I like the not permanent too, because also.

631
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 2: And sometimes you check think of how many times you

632
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 2: check the weather app and it's like all over the place.

633
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 1: It's like you can't you can't trust it.

634
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 2: And it's like that's why you don't want them in

635
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 2: the driver's seat. They cannot be trusted because if you

636
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 2: start to really adopt the fact that you're stupid or whatever,

637
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 2: then that's going to be a driving factor and that's

638
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 2: going to be a filter through everything that you do.

639
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 2: So you just need to set that well in the

640
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 2: passenger seat. But not that you even give it that

641
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 2: much credit, but it's like, curious, Okay, why am I

642
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 2: feeling stupid right now? And then unpack it that way,

643
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 2: what's the core?

644
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 1: What's the roote? Have you ever had an experience where

645
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 1: you had a feeling and you wanted to go do

646
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 1: something right then, and then you waited and you completely

647
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 1: changed your mind.

648
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 2: Yes, oftentimes that I would say, every example I'm thinking

649
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 2: of in my head has to do with another person

650
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 2: and some sort of confrontation where maybe I want to

651
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 2: say something in that moment and it would feel really

652
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 2: good to say it, but ultimately it would be bad. Yeah,

653
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 2: so I need to pause and give myself that space,

654
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 2: so I don't. Especially in our romantic relationships. I think

655
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 2: oftentimes that happens more quickly than with not because we

656
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 2: also feel safe with our romantic partners, or at least

657
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 2: we should, and then we end.

658
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:41,640
Speaker 1: Up well even when we don't feel safe with them.

659
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 1: And if it's maybe more of an unhealthy relationship, I

660
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 1: might have this feeling where I like I need to

661
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 1: go do this right now, or say this right now

662
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 1: or x y Z. But if I take a beat,

663
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 1: do some self soothing, A lot of times I will

664
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 1: want the opposite. We're like, oh, actually I don't need that.

665
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 1: Do you have something coming to keep going? Keep going? Yes,

666
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:00,120
Speaker 1: I have some thing.

667
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 2: Well, I was just going to say, for a for

668
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 2: a coffee mug, for a T shirt?

669
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 1: Oh, share it?

670
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 2: Soothe first, solve later, keep going.

671
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 1: Can it be a screen saver? You can make it whatever?

672
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 1: Anyone bread. We don't even have any merch.

673
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 2: We have no items, but we have we have lots

674
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 2: of things like suit first, solve later.

675
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 1: What was the other one? Weak?

676
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:18,719
Speaker 2: Uh?

677
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 1: Fear is not weaknesses? Awareness? Yeah, sooth first, solve later.

678
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: You heard it here first better trademark all these anyway,

679
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: I think that I said, what, we're gonna have fifty trademarks. Yeah,

680
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 1: and I'm sure other people have said them. Sooth first

681
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 1: solved later. Nobody said that before.

682
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 2: Really, that's a title basically what you were just saying, though,

683
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 2: But I didn't clock it. Okay, well I clocked it

684
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 2: when you were saying.

685
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 1: You're in charge of that department. Finish that thought, though,

686
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 1: I think that was my I think I did where

687
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 1: you If you're in an unhealthy relationship, a lot of

688
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 1: times the thing that we want to go do is

689
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 1: to act in the dysfunction. Right If I'm in a

690
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 1: if I am acting in maybe some and insecure attachment,

691
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 1: and I need to go to that person to get

692
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 1: my soothing or I need to go confront them or

693
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 1: ask this or do whatever. If I soothe on my own,

694
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 1: do some self soothing or with a safe person give me.

695
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 1: Could be an hour, could be a day, however long,

696
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 1: I then could come up with a different solution to

697
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 1: that real root of the feeling, because that feeling could

698
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 1: have been saying, hey, is this is actually you need

699
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 1: to get out of here, But the intensity says I

700
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 1: need to go into it.

701
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,719
Speaker 2: Yeah makes sense, Well, it's a good time to bring up,

702
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 2: like reasons, why are feelings sometimes lie? So you mentioned

703
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 2: past wounds, that could be one of the reasons abandonment,

704
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 2: different triggers anxiety. Stories we tell ourselves like oh I'm

705
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 2: the problem, narrative misinterpretations of other people's behavior, like someone

706
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 2: being quiet equals oh, they hate me, and that's just

707
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 2: a story that we're telling our feels like they hate me.

708
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 2: It feels like they hate yes, because the fact is

709
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 2: they likely don't hate you. I don't know.

710
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 1: Maybe they do.

711
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 2: But tips and tools we did, we gave soothe first,

712
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,399
Speaker 2: solve later. I only say that because I always feel

713
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 2: like so many people, I'm like, oh, why don't they

714
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:13,800
Speaker 2: like me?

715
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 1: What have I done?

716
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 2: What did I do wrong? And it's like, really, I've

717
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:18,840
Speaker 2: done nothing. They're just quiet.

718
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 1: Well, in that moment, it feels like you need to

719
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 1: do something to fix it. But like, take some time

720
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 1: and it might be like, Okay, I can accept that.

721
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 1: Maybe they're just quiet. Maybe not everybody's going to like me.

722
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,479
Speaker 1: Maybe I need to work on me being confident versus

723
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 1: needing affirmation.

724
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not gonna be everybody's cup of tea.

725
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:38,840
Speaker 1: No, thank God, put that on aea. I want everything

726
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:39,839
Speaker 1: to be a screensaver.

727
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:42,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, what that seems a lot easier because

728
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 2: you just type it in and make it a screensaver.

729
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 2: So that's probably why. So we did soothe first, solve later.

730
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 2: That's a tip and tool. You can also name the

731
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 2: feeling before believing the story. Sometimes it's hard to name

732
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 2: the feeling, but if you can pause and really name it,

733
00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 2: that can be helpful.

734
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 1: I'm feeling insecure, I'm feeling scared, I'm feeling rejected, feeling rejected,

735
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 1: and maybe you aren't being rejected, Okay, I.

736
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 2: Mean, and you can feel rejected versus are you being rejected?

737
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,719
Speaker 1: Though this kind of crosses the lines of when we're

738
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: talking about this, I feel stupid isn't a feeling, So

739
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 1: I can feel like something that's a story that's not

740
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 1: a feeling, the feeling underneath that might be I feel insecure,

741
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 1: and that feeling is always valid because we cannot I

742
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: think this. Feelings always valid gets misinterpreted. Sometimes they're always

743
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 1: valid because you can't help what you feel.

744
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 4: It doesn't mean that that story is actually true yeah,

745
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 4: or that I should try to work through it, because

746
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,920
Speaker 4: I'm with you on that, even with myself, like I

747
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 4: need to remember I've got to work through this.

748
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 2: Like, just because all feelings are welcome and I want

749
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 2: to feel them and they're valid, doesn't mean that I

750
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 2: have just this excuse to run around with like all

751
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 2: these feelings all the time being crazy.

752
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 1: Well, we're in charge of what we do with those things,

753
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 1: So we're in charge with our response. So I think

754
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 1: that yeah, if you were feeling insecure and because somebody,

755
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 1: if you were feeling rejected because somebody I don't know

756
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,319
Speaker 1: what they do, they gave you a face, Yeah, are.

757
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 2: They looked me funny or they didn't talk to me,

758
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 2: or like even just using the example from last week

759
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:17,720
Speaker 2: when we talked about my boyfriend and am I wanted

760
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 2: like I had a story through certain things that were

761
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 2: happening at times that like is there space for me here?

762
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:27,919
Speaker 2: Am I wanted like I'm feeling rejected at this moment.

763
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 2: I was feeling that way, but that wasn't fact. I

764
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 2: wasn't rejecting he wasn't rejecting me, and I was wanted

765
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 2: there was another story happening. But if I had really

766
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 2: wanted to put my feelings in the driver's seat, I

767
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 2: could have just broken up with them. That moment.

768
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, but this is another tool. Did we already say,

769
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 1: check the facts, Like that's part of the conversation you had.

770
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm checking the actual facts versus going off

771
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: of what this is telling me. Yeah.

772
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,360
Speaker 2: You can also talk it out with someone that you trust.

773
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 2: So I would call you and I'd be like, actually,

774
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 2: I think I did try it when I left there,

775
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 2: and I'm like, and this is what happened in this

776
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 2: and it's like, Okay, you would be a sounding board

777
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,439
Speaker 2: for me, or even yeah, everybody in this room cry

778
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 2: ocat Shannon, like can be a sounding board of like, Okay,

779
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 2: first of all, those are your feelings, they're valid, they're

780
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 2: welcome here. However, let's fact check this a little bit. Yeah,

781
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 2: and then we could talk through it. And then I

782
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 2: that's part of my soothing too, because then I'm getting

783
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:29,839
Speaker 2: information from safe people. I'm not disrupting my relationship by

784
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 2: trying to you know, because even talking it through with

785
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 2: that person, even though he's a safe person, if I'm

786
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 2: not calm and soothed, then I may not get to

787
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 2: the end result as fast and.

788
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 1: You might be stuck in the story. Yeah, the story

789
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 1: versus really trying to under have understanding. Yeah, so once

790
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,360
Speaker 1: you talk that out with a friend or a therapist

791
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:49,839
Speaker 1: or something. I mean, that's similar with what I did

792
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:53,279
Speaker 1: with my friend when I was saying that we was

793
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 1: that on this episode, I'm getting all mixed couch shocks. Okay. Yeah,

794
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 1: so last there's a coult last week when I was

795
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:01,399
Speaker 1: talking about my my friend that I had that lunch

796
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:05,320
Speaker 1: conversation with around our conflict, if I would have gone

797
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 1: to her before I talked that out with somebody, it

798
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 1: would have sounded so different, and I don't know if

799
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 1: we would have gotten the same result. So if I

800
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 1: was able to kind of come into like the Okay,

801
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 1: I am valid for feeling this, and let's look at

802
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 1: all the other pieces I've had, somebody validate me in

803
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 1: that as well, and then I can share that with them.

804
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 1: It sounds different versus me running in like a bull

805
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:26,880
Speaker 1: and being like, you made me feel.

806
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 2: This way, you owe me, and that's what you would say,

807
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 2: I can't make you feel anyway.

808
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 1: You are learning so well, good job.

809
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 2: Okay, we're mental health minded over here.

810
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, we are put it on a teacup.

811
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 2: Mental health minded. Okay, So feelings matter, They're all important,

812
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,840
Speaker 2: but they're not the ultimate truth. And you got to

813
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 2: collect the data, data, drama, take your pick. Collect the

814
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 2: drama and data is great and all of Sometimes just

815
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 2: drama is a little more fun and easier. And I

816
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,759
Speaker 2: will say I gravitate more towards drama at times with

817
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 2: my boyfriend. And it's so annoying because he does not

818
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 2: take the bait. He does not take the bait. He

819
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 2: doesn't want any part of it, and he doesn't even

820
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:08,839
Speaker 2: make a thing of it. He'll just he's just calm

821
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 2: and patient. He's just like this too shell pass like

822
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 2: he's sort of like, so, what did you want for dinner?

823
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 2: Or what did you say? Or Okay, well, I guess

824
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 2: I'll talk to Like he's not even being dramatic about it.

825
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm just not going to even.

826
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 1: What are you doing? Stop?

827
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,759
Speaker 2: And then I'm like, God, healthy, it healthy. I'm gonna

828
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 2: catch him though, I'm gonna get it. Okay, I'm joking,

829
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 2: I'm joking. I know it riles him up.

830
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,359
Speaker 1: Though when you say I'm gonna catch you one day,

831
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:41,399
Speaker 1: you're gonna take my bait.

832
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:45,280
Speaker 2: No, But if things like if people don't like follow

833
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 2: through on something or like things don't happen the way,

834
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 2: like the plan. If the plan is not going according

835
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 2: or people.

836
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 1: Are can you change the plan? Yeah?

837
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,719
Speaker 2: Okay, so yeah, like stick to your word, like this

838
00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 2: is the plan if like you said. But he's not

839
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:01,800
Speaker 2: like a dickler on time. It's not like that like

840
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 2: I keep thinking about like other relationships I've been in.

841
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 2: It's like you said, it's gonna be five minutes and

842
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 2: it was ten. He doesn't get worked up about that,

843
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 2: which is awesome.

844
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 1: Because like I have always been thirty when you say ten.

845
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,800
Speaker 2: Because I have time blindness, it's a it's part of

846
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 2: my disorder.

847
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,319
Speaker 1: What do I have ADHD? Yeah?

848
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 2: Is that a disorder or a dysfunction?

849
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 1: The disorders in the name of it, okay.

850
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, attention deficit disorder. So I have time blindness. It's

851
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:27,880
Speaker 2: part of my disorder.

852
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 1: Okay, okay.

853
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,879
Speaker 2: So he has a lot of grace for that, which

854
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 2: is awesome. I love it. Even though he's generally on time,

855
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 2: he's pretty patient and it's cool. We would not work

856
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 2: if that was not the case. So we were on

857
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:43,319
Speaker 2: a shuttle with the airport shuttle and it was full.

858
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 2: There was only one seat. There was two seats left,

859
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 2: and then he ended up letting another person on that

860
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 2: was like running late, and it was our was already

861
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 2: squeezed in and the luggage thing was full and everything

862
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 2: was full, and we're all hot and everyone's just trying

863
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 2: to get to their car, and the driver probably shouldn't

864
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 2: have stopped, but the other person got on and it

865
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 2: was then tight. So now there's like one little tiny

866
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 2: sliver left and no luggage room and everyone's again trying

867
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 2: to get to their car. Well, another person comes running

868
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 2: up and the shuttle guy stops and opens the door

869
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:15,359
Speaker 2: and looks back at us. He's like, do you think

870
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 2: we can make room? And Alex is like, no, no,

871
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:23,440
Speaker 2: we need to go, like because that's the it's not

872
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 2: it's no longer going to be safe. Like he was

873
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 2: thinking through, like do your job, Like I don't know

874
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 2: why you're trying, but I was like, we should try

875
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 2: to make room because what if that was us and

876
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 2: we were coming up and we wanted to get on,

877
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 2: and like we just missed it. And he's like, yeah,

878
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,840
Speaker 2: but you you just missed it and it's full and

879
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 2: now you're gonna come in and sacrifice comfort and then

880
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 2: where does the luggage go? So it's like a safety thing,

881
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 2: is it he's a rule follower. I don't know that

882
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 2: it's that he's a rule follower, but it was like.

883
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 1: A also, I think that would bother me.

884
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 2: But the way he responded, like I'd never seen him

885
00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 2: get so like, oh.

886
00:41:58,480 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have said anything.

887
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 2: I said, stop that right now.

888
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 1: I was like, don't have needs or opinions.

889
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, but no, he wasn't the only one like everyone

890
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 2: except for maybe me and one other person, like I

891
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 2: just got there. Yeah, and I was like here, I'll

892
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,800
Speaker 2: send your lap like it's going to be fine, but

893
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 2: everybody else was like no because we had already stopped

894
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:22,239
Speaker 2: for that other person, and it it really didn't make sense.

895
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 2: I guess I'm just saying that now. I know what

896
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 2: really rocks his feathers because I said, well, what would

897
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:32,920
Speaker 2: you have done if he just made the decision to

898
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 2: bring the guy on, like to let the other people

899
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,799
Speaker 2: on and not even asked us And he's like, well,

900
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 2: I would change services, like that's fine, but I'm no

901
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:44,280
Speaker 2: longer going to use you anymore. And I was like, wow,

902
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 2: this is You're very passionate about this, and he had

903
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 2: a very logical reason. He's like, this is that's not

904
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 2: how you do business because you have all of us

905
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 2: where we got there and we waited, they now have

906
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 2: to wait for their shuttle. This is how a business

907
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 2: is run. You want to keep your customers happy, and

908
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 2: then the other people they're gona have a problem with waiting.

909
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,399
Speaker 2: People wait for shuttles all the time. He's like, in fact,

910
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 2: we just waited five minutes for this shuttle, and now

911
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 2: we're trying to accommodate and get all these people on.

912
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:13,319
Speaker 2: Either maybe this guy doesn't want to do another lap,

913
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 2: or maybe he wants more tips, which okay, but you

914
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:22,680
Speaker 2: can't make other people uncomfortable to try to accommodate one

915
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 2: other person. So I understood his business mind, and I

916
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 2: mean he straight up was like saying, I'll switch companies.

917
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 2: I will no longer park at this person's place. I'll

918
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:33,240
Speaker 2: go park at that person's place.

919
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 1: I was had in my head that he was like

920
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 1: leaving the ninety nine to save the one kind of thing.

921
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 1: It's not what goes I don't really know, do you

922
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about? Is that not like the

923
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 1: Jesus will leave the ninety nine to save the one. Oh,

924
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 1: that's like a common to say, like, yeah, it's the

925
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:55,479
Speaker 1: reverse it's reverse because he usually he is such a kind,

926
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,440
Speaker 1: caring guy, but in this area he's like, no, this

927
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 1: is business. This is how you run the right, which

928
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: normally I would be like biblical, this is put it

929
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,800
Speaker 1: on T shirt. And also that's that is that is

930
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 1: a shirt? Yes it is. But you're the opposite where

931
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 1: I feel like you would like always look out for

932
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 1: the one out like outsider, and so I just think

933
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 1: that's interesting. I am like him where I will get

934
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:20,440
Speaker 1: like that too.

935
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 2: Shout out Shannon. We have the Bible verse. What the

936
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 2: Bible verse, Okay, Jesus will leave the ninety nine to

937
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:28,440
Speaker 2: save the one refers to a parable in the Bible,

938
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 2: specifically Matthew eighteen twelve through fourteen and Luke fifteen four

939
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:36,200
Speaker 2: through seven, which illustrates God's love and pursuit of the lost,

940
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 2: the parable of the lost sheep.

941
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,440
Speaker 1: So you were talking about sheep? Yes, So did I

942
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 1: not say sheep? You didn't?

943
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 2: You just said ninety nine and one. And I so

944
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 2: now that I have the sheep, we've got got reference to.

945
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 1: But wasn't this on Easter?

946
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 2: God, that this happening?

947
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:53,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was, so maybe that was Jesus driving your shuttle.

948
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 2: What if you know what, NA tell him that he

949
00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 2: got that at Jesus. Yeah, Jesus, yeah, Jesus take the wheel.

950
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 2: That is so true. I'm gonna bring that up. I know.

951
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 2: I don't know why he got so worked up by that,

952
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 2: but I do get I get that because everybody he

953
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 2: was like, look, I wasn't the only one. And I said, well,

954
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 2: here's the deal. If you want them to act all

955
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 2: like no, drive, no, that's fine, you let them. We don't.

956
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 2: We're not going to do that.

957
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 1: We're not participating. I'm We're an efficiency, though, and that's

958
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,360
Speaker 1: non efficient business. So I think, as is he, I

959
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,400
Speaker 1: would be like I would say, I'm never using the

960
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 1: service again, and then I would probably use it again.

961
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,800
Speaker 2: So the parable of the Lost Sheep depicts a shepherd

962
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:35,360
Speaker 2: who leaves ninety nine sheep to search for one that

963
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:39,960
Speaker 2: has strayed. This is definitely very different. No, it's the

964
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:44,560
Speaker 2: same thing, demonstrating God's willingness to prioritize the lost over

965
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:46,120
Speaker 2: those who are already safe.

966
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:48,520
Speaker 1: He was lost and he needed to ride, and you

967
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 1: guys were lost.

968
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:51,600
Speaker 2: He needed to wait for the shuttle.

969
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:54,359
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think Jesus was driving here, guess

970
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 1: where we are now.

971
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 2: Guess what we've gotten to the.

972
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:03,000
Speaker 1: Maw the day.

973
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:07,760
Speaker 2: I don't think I don't think we need clapping pleasing

974
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:08,319
Speaker 2: a little much.

975
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 1: Okay, but like that's better than like I had like

976
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 1: each Okay, well you do that and I'll do the

977
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:14,960
Speaker 1: email Email.

978
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:17,480
Speaker 3: Of the day.

979
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 2: Do you do you know what I was riffing off

980
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 2: of it? Like wow, thank oh I didn't get that.

981
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 1: Wow.

982
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 2: Okay, So we have feeling of the day, and now

983
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 2: we're going to do the email of the day.

984
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 1: I like the other one better though.

985
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 2: Should we just copycat feeling of the day?

986
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 1: Email of the day? Yeah? Okay, all right, and now

987
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:47,880
Speaker 1: it's time for the e mail of the day. No,

988
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,719
Speaker 1: you said it differently last time you said I did.

989
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 1: Maybe we can have the everybody in the room boat

990
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:55,439
Speaker 1: you said of the day?

991
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:59,720
Speaker 2: All right, and now it's time for the e mail

992
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:00,680
Speaker 2: of the day.

993
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 1: I was right. Can I just say it and then

994
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 1: you copy me? Okay? I don't know if you try

995
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 1: throats getting tight e mail of the day.

996
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:16,359
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna go of the day.

997
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 1: Yeah okay, and you sing, well, no, okay, why do

998
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:22,880
Speaker 1: you think that I do? I think that you could.

999
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:28,719
Speaker 2: See I've thought before I think that I could, like

1000
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,920
Speaker 2: I feel like I could, and that's why not feelings

1001
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:32,520
Speaker 2: are in facts.

1002
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 1: Okay, ready, Email of the day going too fast? Okay, sorry,

1003
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 1: did you notice it? Okay, you have to give it

1004
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 1: like a beat like okay, mail boom boom of the day. Okay, alright,

1005
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:53,280
Speaker 1: ready say the boom boom in your head? All right, ready, okay, ready,

1006
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 1: that's funny Email of the day.

1007
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:00,959
Speaker 2: I did them in my head.

1008
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:09,840
Speaker 1: Then you changed taking from the tosh like in the

1009
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 1: sound booth, being like, we need Cat's vocals one more AMI's.

1010
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 1: We're gonna dial those down a little bit. We're gonna

1011
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,040
Speaker 1: put auto tune on Cat and then we're gonna.

1012
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 2: Hit it and we need more of the snapping.

1013
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 1: Okay, you can snap if you want.

1014
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 2: Snapping is better than clapping because Clapp can be liked,

1015
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:25,320
Speaker 2: excited and nervous.

1016
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 1: And that's why Clapp.

1017
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 2: Okay, she you're like, give me an eat.

1018
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 1: I was cheerleader at one point in my life. We

1019
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 1: don't know how it happened.

1020
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:46,960
Speaker 2: All right, here we go, we're snapping.

1021
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:52,759
Speaker 1: You have to say, oh the day, okay, oh the day? Okay, Okay,

1022
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:54,879
Speaker 1: of the day. Do you I think we should snap,

1023
00:48:54,960 --> 00:49:00,319
Speaker 1: it would help you. I kept practicing, and.

1024
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 2: We're going to do this every week, so.

1025
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:09,319
Speaker 1: We'll get faster. We'll get faster. We read do I say?

1026
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 2: Do you want me to say the we talk that part?

1027
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 1: Okay?

1028
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 2: Al right, it's time for the email of the day.

1029
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 1: We did it?

1030
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, all right, no, okay, all right, we

1031
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:26,239
Speaker 2: have gotten to that part where now it is time for.

1032
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 1: The email of the day.

1033
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 3: We did it.

1034
00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 2: Okay that snap snap it's better than boom boom in

1035
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 2: my head.

1036
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 1: That helps me.

1037
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 2: Snapping helps me. Okay, Oh dang, we gotta set it

1038
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,359
Speaker 2: up again. Now we flow right into it. No laughing,

1039
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 2: no celebrating again, because we have to go into the email.

1040
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:50,400
Speaker 2: We're we just we do it and then we go

1041
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 2: into the email.

1042
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 1: You have to be ready to go into it.

1043
00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 2: I'm ready, okay, okay, all right, and now it's time

1044
00:49:55,239 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 2: for the email of the day, Amy and Kat. This

1045
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 2: one doesn't need to be anonymous.

1046
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:03,839
Speaker 1: Okay.

1047
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 2: My name is Eva things Eva or.

1048
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 1: Eva, so I need to answer that. Did you answer

1049
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 1: that yourself?

1050
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 2: I answered it myself. My name is Eva, and I've

1051
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 2: been listening to the podcast since it first started as

1052
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:20,960
Speaker 2: four Things with Amy. This last Friday, I had a

1053
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 2: mental breakdown and called out of work. After dragging myself

1054
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:27,800
Speaker 2: out of bed at eleven, I decided to pop on

1055
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:30,320
Speaker 2: my headphones and listen to feeling things while making a

1056
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:33,799
Speaker 2: batch of cookies. Good thing I hadn't added the salt yet,

1057
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,959
Speaker 2: because the salt for my tears for sure did the trick.

1058
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:39,280
Speaker 2: My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant

1059
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:42,879
Speaker 2: for five years, only being successful once, but it ended

1060
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:46,400
Speaker 2: in a miscarriage. I also have MS, which has recently

1061
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:49,440
Speaker 2: started flaring up, and the only option to slow progression

1062
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,839
Speaker 2: is to go on medication, which is not ideal while

1063
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,360
Speaker 2: you're trying to have a baby. Needless to say, I

1064
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 2: carry around shame like it's my best friend feel for her.

1065
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:03,920
Speaker 2: Hearing you guys talk about your fertility struggles, guilt and

1066
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,440
Speaker 2: shame helped me more than you'll ever understand. Thank you

1067
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:11,759
Speaker 2: for the reminder that I'm not a failure. Thank you

1068
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 2: for making me feel not alone. So thankful for both

1069
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:20,440
Speaker 2: of you and the podcast. Your friend from Republic Missouri

1070
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 2: Eva ps. The cookies turned off awesome.

1071
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: I'm glad you read that and not me, so thank you, Eva.

1072
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:30,239
Speaker 2: Well, I was able to get through it. And the

1073
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 2: only way I got through it, I was like, don't cry,

1074
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 2: don't cry, don't don't don't cry. So I was like

1075
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:39,080
Speaker 2: ev Ever, her name is Eva.

1076
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:42,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm thankful for those emails like that, I think.

1077
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 1: I when I read that, I was like, oh, there's

1078
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:48,319
Speaker 1: we got a couple like that. And we've said this before,

1079
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:50,440
Speaker 1: I'm sure, but sometimes it feels like we're just talking

1080
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 1: about nothing. So it's helpful for us to to hear

1081
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 1: from you guys, knowing that even though we do silly

1082
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:01,440
Speaker 1: things like our jingle, there's things that are helping you

1083
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:02,319
Speaker 1: guys for real.

1084
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're real parts of our lives that we're able

1085
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:07,959
Speaker 2: to open up and share it if our close people

1086
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 2: are friends. But this podcast gives us an avenue to

1087
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 2: help reach anybody that, yeah, might just be popping in

1088
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 2: their headphones to listen to a podcast and then suddenly

1089
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:18,400
Speaker 2: they feel.

1090
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:24,399
Speaker 1: Us alone, and then emails feels helps us.

1091
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:27,400
Speaker 2: Feel that way. Yeah, and too, you opening up, especially

1092
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:29,800
Speaker 2: publicly with some of that stuff like this is the

1093
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 2: beginning of your fertility journey. So even for you, I'm

1094
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 2: just so proud of you for opening up in the

1095
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,640
Speaker 2: ways that you have because Also it's a fine line

1096
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 2: of like you're a therapist and navigating like how much

1097
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:43,719
Speaker 2: of your life you share because you've got clients that

1098
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:47,239
Speaker 2: may listen. And anyway, I was proud of you when

1099
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 2: you opened up and how you have opened up and

1100
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,320
Speaker 2: how you're navigating that. And I know that you're again

1101
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 2: starting this journey. But I hope these emails show you

1102
00:52:56,280 --> 00:53:00,800
Speaker 2: too that you're not alone, and thank you.

1103
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 1: Even I have ever oh in this tet, they're in

1104
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 1: my head.

1105
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 2: Oh, I have Forever ever ever wait under my Okay,

1106
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:14,279
Speaker 2: so that's Rihanna. But back in the day when that

1107
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,800
Speaker 2: first the song came out and like the you know,

1108
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:18,799
Speaker 2: two thousand and seven, two thousand and eight or something

1109
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:21,120
Speaker 2: like that, we were in pop so Rihanna was someone

1110
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 2: we played all the time, Like that song was always on.

1111
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 2: So for like a year, I was singing it wrong.

1112
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 2: I thought she was saying, uh, well, the title of

1113
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:33,799
Speaker 2: the song is umbrella. Yeah, so obviously she's sang under

1114
00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 2: my Armbabella ella ella right right, eh?

1115
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:43,879
Speaker 3: Eh eh, I wait, I thought she was saying under

1116
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:48,200
Speaker 3: my arm forever ever ever eh eh.

1117
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:52,920
Speaker 2: And yeah, so that's why ever you know forever.

1118
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 1: It's wondering where you're going with that?

1119
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:56,720
Speaker 2: That's where I was going with it forever.

1120
00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:57,359
Speaker 3: Ever.

1121
00:53:57,760 --> 00:54:00,400
Speaker 2: Ever, then one day Bobby was like, you know, the

1122
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 2: title of the song is the umbrella, like she's talking

1123
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:04,440
Speaker 2: about being under her umbrella.

1124
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 1: Wait a second, your words are better.

1125
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:09,720
Speaker 2: Under my Arm Forever.

1126
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 1: I think that's well.

1127
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:13,040
Speaker 2: But the title of the song would have to be like.

1128
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:15,360
Speaker 1: Under my arm forever. But I think that that's a

1129
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:16,920
Speaker 1: better song. Why are you under?

1130
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 2: I feel like a little more creative.

1131
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:22,840
Speaker 1: It's like because a metaphor, like the rain is falling,

1132
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:27,799
Speaker 1: and the rainfalls for I'll be all you need it more?

1133
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:31,719
Speaker 1: That's in there so that your yours wouldn't make sense?

1134
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:32,839
Speaker 2: Wait, so can you sing?

1135
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:36,279
Speaker 1: No? However, I feel like my parents would have put

1136
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,279
Speaker 1: me in voice fail lessons as a child. I would

1137
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:42,120
Speaker 1: have been good. I think I could, like if I

1138
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:43,840
Speaker 1: wasn't like tone deaf and I knew how to like

1139
00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:48,680
Speaker 1: use my dear diaphragm, my diaphragm. There are some songs

1140
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:50,520
Speaker 1: that sometimes I'm like, I hit it okay.

1141
00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny to say that that's how I

1142
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:53,480
Speaker 2: start to.

1143
00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:58,759
Speaker 1: I used to record myself. I had to sometimes I'm

1144
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:00,880
Speaker 1: like Catherine cute this and side of your head, but

1145
00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 1: I already started. I had a six hour drive to

1146
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:07,640
Speaker 1: and from college. This is back when I think I

1147
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:09,719
Speaker 1: had like a BlackBerry or something. In soone I would

1148
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:13,960
Speaker 1: record myself singing Bleeding Love by Leona lu Oh, I.

1149
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 2: Keep bleeding.

1150
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:23,280
Speaker 1: And I used to always sing the national anthem everywhere

1151
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:26,759
Speaker 1: I went, and so my family would like ask me

1152
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:27,840
Speaker 1: to sing it for them, like on.

1153
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:31,920
Speaker 2: Their birthdays, the national anthem because they were.

1154
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:33,640
Speaker 1: Making fun of me, not because I was good. I

1155
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:37,319
Speaker 1: also always sang what's that song? That Christmas song? It's

1156
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:41,600
Speaker 1: not Mary? Did you know? Oh that one? Oh my god,

1157
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:46,279
Speaker 1: I'm good at that? And then what shoot, proud Mary,

1158
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:48,839
Speaker 1: I'm really good at. That's the thing, like you're really

1159
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:51,480
Speaker 1: good at? Are you think weird? Thing? I'm good at?

1160
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 1: And my day it's a whole thing in my family.

1161
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:55,480
Speaker 1: And that's the one song I wanted to play at

1162
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:57,279
Speaker 1: my wedding. My dad asked the band to play. I

1163
00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 1: asked the band to play. Guess what song they didn't play?

1164
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 1: Probably because what song they did play? All the Bruneo

1165
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 1: Mars songs we said do not play, they probably did play.

1166
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:09,719
Speaker 2: I wonder why they I mean, don't ask me if

1167
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 2: you're paying a band a lot of money. That's weird.

1168
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:14,640
Speaker 1: They probably didn't want me on the stage. Yeah, because

1169
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:16,000
Speaker 1: I would have been on the stage. Yeah.

1170
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 2: True. Well, fun fact about me with oh do you

1171
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:21,080
Speaker 2: know that song?

1172
00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:24,920
Speaker 1: B and Okay, don't judge me on that. I'm nervous,

1173
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:29,719
Speaker 1: but they they sing that.

1174
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:32,879
Speaker 2: Ok everyone stopped listening once we started singing It's fine.

1175
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 1: When I started clapping, they stopped. They played that every

1176
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:39,200
Speaker 1: year at the Christmas Eve service from my at my

1177
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:41,040
Speaker 1: church growing up, and then we would come home and

1178
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:42,320
Speaker 1: I would sing over my family.

1179
00:56:42,960 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sure it's lovely.

1180
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:46,760
Speaker 1: I'll send you a video next Christmas.

1181
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:47,400
Speaker 2: Okay.

1182
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 1: I feel like I shared too much.

1183
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,200
Speaker 2: Should know we're good.

1184
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:53,239
Speaker 1: Shame don't.

1185
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:56,719
Speaker 2: This is a safe space. Okay, thank you, cap. Where

1186
00:56:56,800 --> 00:57:03,000
Speaker 2: can people find you on Spotify? Oh? Where's your music?

1187
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,439
Speaker 1: Where can they download? It was like laugh at my joke.

1188
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:07,760
Speaker 2: I didn't get it at first.

1189
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:15,600
Speaker 1: I was like I bet, I thought, I no, you

1190
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:18,320
Speaker 1: were I could barely get it out. You were my mind.

1191
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,240
Speaker 2: I was already like thinking like, okay, she can like

1192
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 2: tease like Instagram, like I thought you were thinking like, oh,

1193
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:26,360
Speaker 2: our podcast is on Spotify, It's on iHeart it's on

1194
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 2: wherever you listen to podcasts.

1195
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:29,920
Speaker 1: I was singing of my recording and Bleeding Love from

1196
00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 1: two thousand and six. Yeah, it's not on Spotify. It's not.

1197
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, dang it.

1198
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:38,840
Speaker 2: If you follow us on Instagram though, I can send

1199
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 2: it to you directly and the dms. We are at

1200
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:48,840
Speaker 2: Feeling Things podcast on Instagram. Kat is at Kat van

1201
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:53,080
Speaker 2: Buren and I am at Radio Amy, and we would

1202
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 2: love to hear from you as well for couch chalks.

1203
00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:58,880
Speaker 2: Hey there at Feeling Things podcast dot com, and you

1204
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 2: can also leave us a voice. Well eight seven seven

1205
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:05,800
Speaker 2: two seven two o seven seven I was about to

1206
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:07,320
Speaker 2: say that we're not going to sing it.

1207
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:11,160
Speaker 1: We'll spare you that. We'll spare you that. Yeah, all right, Well,

1208
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:12,480
Speaker 1: I hope you guys are having the day you need

1209
00:58:12,520 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 1: to have.

1210
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 2: Were gonna say that together.

1211
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.

1212
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:18,880
Speaker 2: Let's start over now. I hope you guys are having

1213
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 2: the day you need to have. Okay, bye bye