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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: What's been going on in your world this week?

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Speaker 3: Oh? My goodness, my world?

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Speaker 1: What so fun?

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Speaker 2: Because we have two separate worlds during the day, it seems.

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Speaker 3: Like, yeah at the moment, I think when especially, I

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Speaker 3: was telling my therapists the other day, where I when

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Speaker 3: I come back from a movie, it's, you know, because

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Speaker 3: I've spent two weeks being somewhere, and then when you

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Speaker 3: come back, it's just like.

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Speaker 1: You have to, you know, get back to.

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Speaker 3: The grind of Okay, now that I'm technically unemployed again,

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Speaker 3: I gotta you know, do my other stuff, which is

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Speaker 3: the influencing or the Amazon links or this, that and

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Speaker 3: the other, and it's just kind of getting back into

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Speaker 3: that rhythm. And you know, your rhythm is going back to,

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Speaker 3: you know, doing the analysis stuff and coaching and and

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Speaker 3: and then on top of that, the kids got I

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Speaker 3: don't know if it was the flu because I technically

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Speaker 3: didn't test them. At this point, I'm like, they have fevers,

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Speaker 3: they have chills. I know someone that they were close

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Speaker 3: to that also got the flu, which they had tested

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Speaker 3: and so just like then being inundated with just like

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Speaker 3: sick babies. You know, it's just a season, I think,

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Speaker 3: or not a season, but just like weeks of us

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Speaker 3: like kind of just passing each other. And I think

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Speaker 3: that's a typical thing with marriage and children and work.

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Speaker 3: But I think that's also a part where there needs

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Speaker 3: to be a step back and go, you know, because

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Speaker 3: we were supposed to go to New York, and when

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Speaker 3: the kids weren't feeling they were still obviously home from school,

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Speaker 3: and then I started to not feel great, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: oh man, I just don't think like going to New

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Speaker 3: York is the smartest thing, because we were supposed to

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Speaker 3: be doing some in person podcasts and so obviously we

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Speaker 3: end up canceling that, but it and that kind of

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Speaker 3: took away from we try to do date nights. And

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Speaker 3: I think and that took away from a potential date night.

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Speaker 3: And I think where can get a little murky and

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Speaker 3: muddy is if that time isn't then made sure that

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Speaker 3: we then connect. It just becomes like a groundhog day

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Speaker 3: next day. And then when there isn't something at least

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Speaker 3: for me, like when I don't have something that is,

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Speaker 3: I like to have a plan, right, So it's like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I know we're going on a date night this day.

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Speaker 3: But it's like if we don't actively plan that, then

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Speaker 3: it just becomes kind of separate. Does that make sense?

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Speaker 3: So like we don't have anything on the books. Basically,

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Speaker 3: this is my send me a date reminder.

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Speaker 2: You have a date tonight, you have date.

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Speaker 3: I have a date with my mates. Yeah, but I'm

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Speaker 3: not talking about mates. I'm talking about relationally. Because you

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Speaker 3: said we've been separate.

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Speaker 2: Let me ask you this.

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Speaker 4: So I think we've spoke about this in person before,

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Speaker 4: but never on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Sure, so fire away.

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Speaker 2: When I this is how I relate to it.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So my biggest pressure moments will being with England

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Speaker 4: for ten days on international camp and when I used

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Speaker 4: to come out of the pressure cauldron of You're expected

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Speaker 4: to perform every hour of those ten days and you

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Speaker 4: need to be even fight and flight and you're there's

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Speaker 4: a high level expected of you to produce. Right, So

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Speaker 4: when I used to come out of those ten days,

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Speaker 4: I used to almost get like a performance depression where

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Speaker 4: the pressure had finished and I wanted out of the

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Speaker 4: pressure to get the release. But then after a few hours,

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Speaker 4: I was my body was craving the expectation, the pressure,

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Speaker 4: and I would almost become an emotionally slightly emotionally imbalanced

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Speaker 4: because I didn't have the pressure, and I knew I

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Speaker 4: wasn't going to have that pressure for another maybe another

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Speaker 4: month town in our camp for three months of four months.

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Speaker 4: When you come off of a movie where expectation is

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Speaker 4: on you to perform in those elements of pressure, do

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Speaker 4: you get that when you come out or do you

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Speaker 4: get a relief?

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Speaker 3: I get I it's it's I totally know what you mean.

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Speaker 3: And I think in the past maybe I felt that

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Speaker 3: with being on the road. So like being on the

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Speaker 3: road when I used to tour, it was I had

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Speaker 3: a tour manager, I had bandmates, I had an assistant.

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Speaker 3: I was given like you know what I mean. I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 3: I an you want a bottle of Camist? Twenty minutes later,

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Speaker 3: my tour manager would have a bottle of Camist to me.

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Speaker 3: So my coming off the road was I expected almost

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Speaker 3: to be waited on. Does that make sense? Like it

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Speaker 3: was like a uh. I was not waited on as

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Speaker 3: a really bad word, but it was just the artist

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Speaker 3: like I was used. I was catered to. I had

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Speaker 3: someone cooking food, and I had this delivered and I

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Speaker 3: had this, and so it was that that kind of

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Speaker 3: was like, eh, Like when I get off the road,

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Speaker 3: it's like, oh, reality, it's like wait, no, no, I don't

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Speaker 3: have I don't have that. When I come off of

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Speaker 3: a movie, it's more I go back to the girl

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Speaker 3: that is scared, not scared, but like us scrappy again,

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Speaker 3: where it's like, Okay, I'm unemployed again.

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Speaker 1: I need to find a job.

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Speaker 3: I need to create and so it's like that it

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Speaker 3: becomes like the hamster wheel of like like grinding again

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Speaker 3: and making sure that I, you know, can get another

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Speaker 3: movie or do this, because yeah, I've got an offer

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Speaker 3: for another movie, but we don't have the dates sale,

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Speaker 3: and I'm always like it can go away. And so

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Speaker 3: when I come off a movie, it's more I feel

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Speaker 3: the pressure of things, and so when I come home

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Speaker 3: again to be redundant. When I come came back from

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Speaker 3: the movie, it's I was telling my therapist Amian, I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I just see all the things that I have to

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Speaker 3: do that I haven't finished or that was maybe left there,

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Speaker 3: and then I need to and so I add all

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Speaker 3: these things to my to do list, and I become

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Speaker 3: really overwhelmed. And then I just feel suffocated. And then

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Speaker 3: I'm like, and I don't like to have that feeling

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Speaker 3: where it's like I put all the pressure of house

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Speaker 3: and kids and work and all the stuff on me

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Speaker 3: that it's like when I come back from a movie,

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Speaker 3: I feel like I can't breathe because it's like all

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Speaker 3: the pressure is back on. Like when I'm on a

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Speaker 3: movie set, pressure's off. I don't have to I don't

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Speaker 3: have to really do my typical nind of you know,

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Speaker 3: I don't have to do my typical stuff, which is

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Speaker 3: kind of nice at times to like not have the

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Speaker 3: pressure of you know. And again I don't want to

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Speaker 3: say like I obviously love being a mom and doing

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Speaker 3: all that, but it's kind of nice to not have

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Speaker 3: the all the time, that weight of the responsibility and

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Speaker 3: the duties of certain things. So when I come back,

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Speaker 3: it's like and then you got to get back in

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Speaker 3: the rhythm again. But I I think for me, it's

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Speaker 3: Amy said something to me the other day in therapy.

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Speaker 3: She's like, you have a homework assignment, and I'm like, no, like,

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Speaker 3: don't add one more thing to me. She goes, I

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Speaker 3: need you to take a nap in the middle of

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Speaker 3: the day and I was like, that just gave me hives,

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Speaker 3: Like for you, I cannot nap in the middle of

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Speaker 3: the day, Absolutely not, And I said, and she's like,

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Speaker 3: why do you not think that you deserve a period

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Speaker 3: of rest? And I was like, because I can't. I

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Speaker 3: have to uphold, like I have to keep the ship running,

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Speaker 3: and like I cannot take a nap at two o'clock

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Speaker 3: in the afternoon. Are you out of your mind? Like

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Speaker 3: there's no way I can do that. And I go

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Speaker 3: so much so that I am supposed to be doing

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Speaker 3: facials for a podcast AD and I have to put

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Speaker 3: on the calendar facial for AD, not because I deserve

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Speaker 3: a facial, but because I've I need to do it

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Speaker 3: for work, and I have to like justify that. I'm like,

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Speaker 3: why am I justifying I should be allowed to do

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Speaker 3: a facial every month because I want to do a facial.

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Speaker 3: But it's like I can't justify it for myself that.

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Speaker 1: I deserve that hour of like peace, and I.

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Speaker 3: Get it at Handstone, but but it's yeah, I don't know,

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Speaker 3: it's really it's a it's a challenge for me to you.

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Speaker 4: So you don't reflect on anything when you can buy

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Speaker 4: from the movie. You don't and I do this because

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Speaker 4: you just go from one thing to the next.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so you don't sit there.

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Speaker 3: And my reflection was in my scene with Martin, that

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Speaker 3: one scene where I was like, this is really cool

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Speaker 3: and then.

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Speaker 1: That was it and then you move on, and then

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Speaker 1: I move on.

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Speaker 3: Second I got on that plane, I'm like texting my agents,

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Speaker 3: where are we at with the you know, the San

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Speaker 3: Antonio one or this that or the other. Oh, I

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Speaker 3: got a really great idea for a Halloween movie.

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Speaker 4: I guess we're both like. Where I'm different is I

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Speaker 4: am programmed to take whether it's ten minutes or twenty minutes,

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Speaker 4: for myself during the day because when I used to

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Speaker 4: come back from training, a sleep coach at the club

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Speaker 4: would always tell us, you need to take a twenty

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Speaker 4: minute nap because your brain resets you, which then resets

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Speaker 4: your body, which then resets your physiological system for the

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Speaker 4: rest of that day and you recover better.

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Speaker 2: So my.

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Speaker 4: I'm used to Okay, I need to step away from him,

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Speaker 4: and I'm sometimes now I do it because I'm probably

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Speaker 4: feeling tired, and they like, Okay, I need to get away.

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Speaker 4: I need to get and I sometimes frame as a meditation.

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Speaker 3: Your meditation is a nap because we would medicate to

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Speaker 3: get meditate, medicate, meditate together and then two seconds it's snoring.

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Speaker 1: But that's what you need. That's great, that's what I'm

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Speaker 1: used to.

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Speaker 3: I just don't think I deserve that, and that's something

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Speaker 3: that I have.

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Speaker 1: To truth work.

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Speaker 2: No, so far from the truth.

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Speaker 3: Right, But there's something missing within me that things that

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Speaker 3: I deserve, that that that I deserve to be able

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Speaker 3: to go do this or to go take a nap.

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Speaker 1: If I wanted to take a nap.

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Speaker 2: Well, the first thing is you need to call it

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Speaker 2: a meditation.

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Speaker 3: Right, change right, change what it is.

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Speaker 4: And if you if you've been told it, then you

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Speaker 4: need to you need to do it. It's so healthy

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Speaker 4: to just close your eyes and sweach off, look at

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Speaker 4: look at the Google it like a sleep coach or

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Speaker 4: professional sleep coach. The benefits of taking no more than

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Speaker 4: twenty minutes because then your body flips into a different mode.

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Speaker 4: But if you sleep for twenty minutes during the take,

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Speaker 4: the amount that it allows your mind and body to

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Speaker 4: recover is incredible. It's better than any treatment you can

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Speaker 4: put on your face. And I'm talking about not just

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Speaker 4: talking about you. I'm talking about everyone any age.

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Speaker 3: Don't you just count my red light mask better.

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Speaker 4: Than anything Any red light any sort of treatment take

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Speaker 4: twenty minutes, so you close your eyes and allow your

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Speaker 4: body to relax for twenty minutes.

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Speaker 2: And switch off.

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Speaker 3: Well, I just don't think I'm there yet, and that's okay.

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Speaker 3: But I do have a helpful tip for the moms

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Speaker 3: that are maybe like me, when they come into the

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Speaker 3: house and they're like, why is this plate there? And

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Speaker 3: why did Jollie leave, you know, or Jase leave their

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Speaker 3: shoes out there?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 3: Why is it not the betting we're not going to

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Speaker 3: go there, but the like, you know, kid stuff and

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Speaker 3: the mess because I like to come home to because

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Speaker 3: I feel like life can be messy and the outside

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Speaker 3: world is messy and it's very loud that it's like

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Speaker 3: that's why I like a clean home, because that's like

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Speaker 3: the one place where I can feel like I can

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Speaker 3: rest in a clean home. And when it doesn't feel

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Speaker 3: we keep a very clean house, but when it doesn't

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Speaker 3: feel that way, that's when it's like, then it feels

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Speaker 3: chaotic like the outside world and stuff. And Amy helps

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Speaker 3: me a little bit with that where she said when

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Speaker 3: it comes to the kid's stuff, and it comes to

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Speaker 3: those things or maybe a misplaced item it's in ten years,

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Speaker 3: like you would give anything to have that cereal box

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Speaker 3: sitting on the counter, or you'd have anything to have

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Speaker 3: the bowl, and you know, something that's left out to

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Speaker 3: represent that that's house is lived in and loved in

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Speaker 3: with with children. And I was like, Okay, I was like,

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Speaker 3: I can maybe like change that frame of mind for that.

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Speaker 3: I thought that was a nice image because there will

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Speaker 3: be a day where I'm like, oh, I wish that,

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Speaker 3: which is why I've I got out of the habit

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Speaker 3: of reading a book every night to the kids. I

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Speaker 3: think when they most probably when I was pregnant with Roman,

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Speaker 3: because I remember just being like, I don't feel good

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Speaker 3: and I just want to puke, and I just want

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Speaker 3: to go to bed, and I'm exhausted. I got out

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Speaker 3: of the habit of reading them a bookcase I would

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Speaker 3: read them a book every single night, And recently I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I want to get back to reading them a book

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Speaker 3: because very soon, most likely with Jolie, she's not going

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Speaker 3: to want me to read her book anymore in bed

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Speaker 3: and so and I'm going to be like kicking myself

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Speaker 3: that I didn't do it until that point. You know

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Speaker 3: that I that I missed that opportunity with him and

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Speaker 3: that time with them. And that's why I'm really excited

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Speaker 3: to talk to this next guest, because he's all about

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Speaker 3: time wealth and you know, social wealth and how we

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Speaker 3: can enrich our lives more with making sure that we

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Speaker 3: have that time because it is precious and limited. So

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Speaker 3: let's take a break and then get Sahil Blum on.

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Speaker 5: Hey, what's going on?

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Speaker 4: Hey?

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Speaker 1: How are you good? How are you doing good? Where

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Speaker 1: are you.

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Speaker 3: Podcasting from?

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Speaker 1: What state?

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Speaker 5: I am in Westchester, New York. You're in New York,

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Speaker 5: just outside New York City? What about you? You guys are Nashville? Yeah? Okay, cool?

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Speaker 1: Have you been?

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Speaker 5: Think we have something?

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Speaker 2: I have?

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Speaker 5: And I think we have something in common. I have

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Speaker 5: a son named Roman, Ah. I think he's similar. I'm not.

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Speaker 5: How old is your son?

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Speaker 4: For?

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Speaker 3: Almost fifteen months?

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Speaker 5: Okay, so we're about a year a year older. My

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Speaker 5: son's two and a half. How did you say it's

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Speaker 5: a strong name. We had a family member, a recently

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Speaker 5: deceased family member who was a Holocaust survivor named Roman

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Speaker 5: that we sort of named him after. Oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 5: so it's a it's a good name because you don't

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Speaker 5: come across it that often.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 5: I told my wife that we were doing this podcast.

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Speaker 5: She was like, she has a son named Roman as well.

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Speaker 3: So what's the middle name.

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Speaker 5: His middle name is my middle name, which is Ready.

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Speaker 5: My mom's family is from India, so that's her my

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Speaker 5: mom's maiden name.

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Speaker 3: Oh I love that, Roman Ready. That is fantastic.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, times good.

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Speaker 5: What yours is? What's your middle name?

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Speaker 3: Roman? Well, no, it's it's Roman James.

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Speaker 5: Do you call him RJ?

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Speaker 3: We just just like straight Roman.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 5: Roman is such a strong name.

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Speaker 3: But I really like Roman Ready. Can we change?

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Speaker 5: That?

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Speaker 3: Is her time to be able to change, because that's

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Speaker 3: just like Roman Ready.

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Speaker 1: Russell like wow, Like that's oh yeah, the triple R.

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Speaker 5: That would be good.

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Speaker 1: That would have been good.

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Speaker 5: Dang it.

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Speaker 1: Why didn't we do this like some action name. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's really good.

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Speaker 5: Well I'm well, it's nice to meet too.

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Speaker 3: Nice to meet you too, and we'll just jump right

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Speaker 3: into it. We're really excited to talk to you. And

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Speaker 3: when I was doing the you know, the research on you.

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Speaker 3: You you talk about the five types of wealth and

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Speaker 3: but for me, it's like I'm trying to figure out

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Speaker 3: and distinguished because when I just I hear wealth, the

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Speaker 3: first thing I go to is money. And that's not

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Speaker 3: what you're talking about, is it.

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Speaker 5: No, Although I don't think you're alone. You know, the

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Speaker 5: default way that most of us throughout our entire lives

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Speaker 5: have come to measure ourselves, measure our success and think

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Speaker 5: about success and our life worth has been around money.

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Speaker 5: It has been the default scoreboard, if you will, that

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Speaker 5: we've used. And unfortunately, it is an incomplete scoreboard. It's

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Speaker 5: it's broken in some sense, but really incomplete, meaning it

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Speaker 5: doesn't actually directly contribute to the happy, fulfilling life that

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Speaker 5: you are trying to build. There are other things that

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Speaker 5: are a key piece of it. Money isn't nothing. It

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Speaker 5: simply can't be the only thing.

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Speaker 3: Right. Well, I think it's an interesting point because you know,

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Speaker 3: when you think about your success in wealth when it

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Speaker 3: is about money, it's like, you know, I would have

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Speaker 3: been the happiest human on the world knowing like the

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Speaker 3: money that I have now if that was like five

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Speaker 3: years ago. But now I'm like, oh, well, it's not now.

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Speaker 3: It's I want this and it's not this and so

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Speaker 3: it's like there's always you're never really happy. Is kind

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Speaker 3: of what I've realized in the years of looking at

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Speaker 3: bank accounts. And I mean, so I think, you know,

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Speaker 3: to broaden our thoughts on wealth in the areas that

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Speaker 3: you're now describing the five types, I think is a

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Speaker 3: really interesting and healthy way to hopefully then flip it

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Speaker 3: back on the money piece too, and know, Okay, that

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Speaker 3: is not the most important thing, and it doesn't determine

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Speaker 3: how successful you are, or how great you are are,

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Speaker 3: or any of those other things that we tend to

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Speaker 3: compare when we look at an account versus maybe someone else's.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, if there's one thing I've learned, it's

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Speaker 5: that you will never feel successful until you create your

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Speaker 5: own definition of success. And one of the things about

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Speaker 5: money is that it is so prone to that comparison game.

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Speaker 5: You know, you like, you get the car and you

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Speaker 5: feel really good about it, but then you see your

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Speaker 5: neighbor as the slightly nicer one, or you get the

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Speaker 5: house and then it's not in the right part of town.

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Speaker 5: We just play these games where the things we prayed

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Speaker 5: for become the things that we complain about. And you

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Speaker 5: have examples from your own life of exactly that happening.

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Speaker 5: Like these things that your five year ago self literally

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Speaker 5: prayed for are now things that we grumble about, Like

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Speaker 5: the engagement ring becomes the one that you want to

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Speaker 5: upgrade or trade in, the car becomes the one that

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Speaker 5: you're you know, looking to trade, the house is the

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Speaker 5: one that's like, you know, full of issues, whatever it is.

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Speaker 5: And there's a name for that. It's called the arrival fallacy.

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Speaker 5: It's this idea that these things that we prop up

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Speaker 5: in our minds as kind of the destination, like the

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Speaker 5: point at which we're going to feel happy and we're

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Speaker 5: going to feel that fulfillment and stress free living. Whatever,

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Speaker 5: whether it's a money number, whether it's a promotion, a title,

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Speaker 5: whatever it is, we prop them up in our minds

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Speaker 5: and we get there and immediately we feel this like

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Speaker 5: momentary blip of happiness and then just reset to some

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Speaker 5: new version. Michael Norton, this Harvard Business School professor, did

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Speaker 5: this interesting study where he went and talked to a

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Speaker 5: whole bunch of high net worth individuals, people worth anywhere

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Speaker 5: from a million dollars on through one hundred million plus,

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Speaker 5: and he asked them how happy they were on a

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Speaker 5: scale of one to ten, and then he asked how

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Speaker 5: much more or money would it take for you to

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Speaker 5: be at a ten and across the board whether they

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Speaker 5: were worth a million dollars or one hundred million dollars.

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Speaker 5: They said two to three times as much money, which

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Speaker 5: makes no sense like there should there should be an

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Speaker 5: actual number there. But that's how our brains work when

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Speaker 5: it comes to money, as we just keep resetting to

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Speaker 5: some higher version of it.

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Speaker 4: I think for me, money is it's not about it's

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Speaker 4: not a greed thing. It's for me, it's about it

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Speaker 4: doesn't limit you and your choices, and you don't make

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Speaker 4: choices find on money a financial financial choices. So for me,

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Speaker 4: money is never a bit you know about having things

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Speaker 4: or having a certain bank account balance or whatever it

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Speaker 4: may be. It's about, Okay, I can make these choices

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Speaker 4: and take the financial stress away from it. So for me,

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Speaker 4: it's always about money gives you options.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and I think that that is a very real

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Speaker 5: use case of money buying happiness, which is it reduces

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Speaker 5: these fundamental stresses and burdens in life. It gives you

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Speaker 5: those options. It enables you to create experiences with people

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Speaker 5: you love. It enables you to reduce the burdens of

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Speaker 5: people you love. You can take care of other people

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Speaker 5: around you. The problem is when you so narrowly focus

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Speaker 5: on just money and lose sight of everything else, which

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Speaker 5: is the path that a lot of people end up

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Speaker 5: going down. They lose sight of the fact that money

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Speaker 5: is a tool for those things that you were just

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Speaker 5: talking about. It is not the goal in and of itself.

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Speaker 5: It is a tool to be used to create those

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Speaker 5: experiences or reduce those stresses. And when you lose sight

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Speaker 5: of that, what you get is the rich yet miserable

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Speaker 5: person that we all know. Many of you know, the

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Speaker 5: guy that made a billion dollars but has three ex

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Speaker 5: wives and four children who don't talk to him. And

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Speaker 5: everyone in our society will say that that guy won

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Speaker 5: the game, and I would look at it and say,

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Speaker 5: that's not really a game that I care to win.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So, in your book, what are the five to

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Speaker 3: t types of wealth that go beyond the wealth that

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Speaker 3: we're talking about right now.

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Speaker 5: So the five types of wealth that I cover. Number

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Speaker 5: one is time wealth. This is all about freedom to

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Speaker 5: choose how you spend your time, who you spend it with,

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Speaker 5: where you spend it. When you trade it for other things.

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Speaker 5: It's fundamentally about an awareness of time as your most

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Speaker 5: precious asset, the thing that you can never get back.

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Speaker 5: The second type is social wealth, all about your relationships

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Speaker 5: people in your life, the few deep connections to those

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Speaker 5: you really love, and then the broader set of connections

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Speaker 5: to something bigger than yourself. The third type is mental wealth,

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Speaker 5: all about your purpose, about growth, and about creating the

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Speaker 5: space necessary to wrestle with and engage in the bigger

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Speaker 5: questions in your world, the unanswerable questions through spirituality, religion, solitude, meditation, etc.

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Speaker 5: The fourth type is physical wealth, all about your health

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Speaker 5: and vitality, taking the controllable actions to fight against the

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Speaker 5: natural decay and aging of your body. And then the

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Speaker 5: fifth type is byancial wealth, the one we know money

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Speaker 5: and with the important lens there of really understanding what

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Speaker 5: your definition is of enough, what it means to actually

440
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,000
Speaker 5: build a life, of having enough to stop that chase

441
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,479
Speaker 5: for more and more, and to recognize when you are

442
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 5: living in the good old.

443
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 3: Days, what do you think is the number one important

444
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 3: one to have wealth in.

445
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 5: It depends on the season of life that you are in.

446
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 5: I would say for most people time wealth is the

447
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:31,440
Speaker 5: unlock that enables everything else, because it comes down to

448
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,880
Speaker 5: two things. I mean, one is just appreciating and understanding

449
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,880
Speaker 5: that time is your most precious asset. It is the

450
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 5: only thing that you cannot get back, and it is

451
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 5: the one thing that most of us think none about

452
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 5: until the very end, when it's the only thing you

453
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,719
Speaker 5: think about when you've lost someone, when someone is at

454
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 5: the tail end of their life, or when you are

455
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 5: at the tail end of your life, but then you

456
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 5: can't do anything about it. Like if I were to

457
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,120
Speaker 5: ask you, would you trade lives with Warren Buffett. He's

458
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,920
Speaker 5: worth one hundred and thirty billion dollars, He has act

459
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,880
Speaker 5: access to anyone in the world. He reads and learns

460
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,119
Speaker 5: for a living, he flies around on private jats. Everything's great,

461
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,919
Speaker 5: But you wouldn't trade lives with him because he's ninety

462
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 5: five years old. There's no way you would trade the

463
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 5: amount of time you have left for one hundred and

464
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 5: thirty billion dollars. So you know that time has this real,

465
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 5: incalculable value. And yet on a daily basis, we spend

466
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 5: our time on silly, useless things, scrolling social media, comparing

467
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 5: ourselves to others, wasting our time on these tasks that

468
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 5: aren't really moving the needle in our lives. So starting

469
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 5: to change that, shifting that script, taking advantage of the

470
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 5: time that you do have, prioritizing time for the things

471
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 5: that really matter in your life, and deploying your energy

472
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,119
Speaker 5: into the tasks that are really going to move the

473
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 5: needle in your life. That is the biggest unlock for

474
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:46,439
Speaker 5: most people.

475
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, that kind of corresponds with something you are quoted

476
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 4: on saying where you talk about dopamine from information gathering

477
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:58,919
Speaker 4: as a dangerous drug. No, I find myself at the

478
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 4: melcy of that on some days where I want to

479
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,399
Speaker 4: make a point, but I become obsessed by making the

480
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,679
Speaker 4: point so powerful that I feel like, Okay, I need

481
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,360
Speaker 4: to research it more, or I need to I need

482
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 4: someone else's point of view. And not every day, but

483
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,679
Speaker 4: there's days where okay, until this goes out, I need

484
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 4: to make sure that I study it more. And I

485
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 4: think that goes in and in hand with your point

486
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 4: about time and gaining more time in your life. But also,

487
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,720
Speaker 4: how do you how do you talk to people who

488
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,119
Speaker 4: have an addiction to gathering information because maybe they have

489
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:39,880
Speaker 4: a perfectionism disorder where they feel that their information needs

490
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:45,359
Speaker 4: to be the most powerful and the most hard hitting

491
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:47,359
Speaker 4: when it actually hits their platforms.

492
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,640
Speaker 5: There's this famous Buddhist story of a man who gets

493
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 5: struck by a poisoned arrow and someone comes over and

494
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 5: says like, Oh, I'm gonna go get a doctor to

495
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 5: save your life, and the man says, hang on, wait,

496
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,160
Speaker 5: I need to know for who shot the arrow, what

497
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 5: the arrow's made out of, what type of poison, where

498
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 5: did the person come from. And while he's trying to

499
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 5: gather all this information and ask all these questions, he dies.

500
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 5: And the whole point is sometimes you just need to act.

501
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,200
Speaker 5: You can't waste your time gathering all this information, asking

502
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,680
Speaker 5: all these questions. You actually need to just take action

503
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 5: in your life. And I think most of us get

504
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 5: caught in that loop. We live in an information economy

505
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 5: where you were hit by a barrage of information on

506
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 5: a daily basis, and it's very easy to get stuck

507
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,960
Speaker 5: in this loop where you are getting your dopamine from

508
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 5: information gathering. You read a book and you feel like, oh,

509
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 5: I just did the thing, and you get this dopamine

510
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 5: from it, but you haven't actually done anything with the information.

511
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,200
Speaker 5: You haven't gone and acted on it to actually implement

512
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 5: it in your life. And so what you find over

513
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 5: and over again if you trace the lives or if

514
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,200
Speaker 5: you spend time with the most successful people in the world,

515
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 5: is that they have this razor thin gap between when

516
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 5: they gather information and when they act on that information.

517
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 5: Most people have this or a gap where they're gathering

518
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,679
Speaker 5: information all the time and not doing anything about it.

519
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 5: So the default for most people, and as you're coaching people,

520
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:11,240
Speaker 5: is to say, rather than trying to make the perfect decision,

521
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:15,360
Speaker 5: just make a decision and then take action to make

522
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 5: it right. Then take adjustments, iterate on it, continue to improve,

523
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:32,400
Speaker 5: continue to act to make the decision the right one.

524
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 3: When you have the five types of wealth that you're

525
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 3: talking about in your book, is it fixed to me?

526
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 3: It's I was telling my therapists the other day, It's like,

527
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 3: I there's just you know, kind of like on the

528
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 3: Hamster whil there's always you know, things that I have

529
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 3: to do or fix or solve or you know, grow

530
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 3: or you know, work, and so you know, when someone

531
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 3: gives me like an assignment to do something, I'm like,

532
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 3: it's just one more thing that's like added onto my

533
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 3: to do list, So it's like, yeah, I want to

534
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 3: read this book and I want to you know, I

535
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 3: want to know the five you know things wealth and

536
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,919
Speaker 3: how I can do it. But it's like, are you

537
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 3: what would you suggest like for someone to start this,

538
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 3: So that's not like more information and more overwhelming. Is

539
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 3: it Take one of these wealth things and work on

540
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:18,959
Speaker 3: that first, is it?

541
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 1: Or how do you?

542
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 3: Because it's like there's so much self help stuff that's

543
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 3: like being also being thrown at you, and then you're

544
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 3: just like, I don't know, like even where to start

545
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,880
Speaker 3: with all of it.

546
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 5: Take one tiny action that is really and that applies

547
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,120
Speaker 5: to not just this, but to anything that you are doing,

548
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 5: whether it's you know, working with a therapist, whether it's

549
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,119
Speaker 5: a health change you're trying to make, whatever it is.

550
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 5: The biggest impediment is when you get caught in that

551
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,400
Speaker 5: loop of just continuing to get more and more awareness

552
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 5: but you're not doing anything with it. And what everyone

553
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,639
Speaker 5: needs to do is just find the one tiny action

554
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 5: that you can take, because the reality of life is

555
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 5: that if you're trying to create this dramatic change standing

556
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,160
Speaker 5: here and there's this life that you want to live

557
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 5: on the other side. You're not just going to take

558
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,199
Speaker 5: one enormous leap to get there. What you have to

559
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 5: do is take the tiny, tiny step that creates momentum.

560
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:14,119
Speaker 5: And the momentum might actually change your life because the

561
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 5: momentum is what you start to feel, you start to

562
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,680
Speaker 5: get that winning sensation. And so the whole book is

563
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 5: structured around that exact thing, where within each section there

564
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 5: is obviously information, but there's also the tiny actions that

565
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 5: you can take right now, like in the next five minutes,

566
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,400
Speaker 5: to go and start building that type of wealth into

567
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 5: your life. And that's a really important piece to just say, like,

568
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,360
Speaker 5: this is going to be a journey throughout your life,

569
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 5: but you can start it right now and feel an

570
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 5: impact right now. It's not a two year, it's not

571
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 5: a five year, it's not a one year. This is

572
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 5: something that you can actually start on and actually implement.

573
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 3: The one being the social wealth because we do spend

574
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 3: you know, the majority of our most of us spend

575
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 3: the majority of our day on the phone, scrolling, you know,

576
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 3: working from a phone. What is some of the tips

577
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 3: to have better social wealth?

578
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:08,880
Speaker 5: I would say the first thing you need to do

579
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 5: is just completely shift your mindset on what it means

580
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 5: to invest in your relationships. Your relationships are the single

581
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,479
Speaker 5: greatest investment that you can make in your life. We

582
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 5: know to invest in our financial assets and put money

583
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 5: away because it compounds. Same exact thing applies to your relationships.

584
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,679
Speaker 5: Doing the one tiny thing today builds those relationships for

585
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 5: the long run, and a tiny thing will compound positively.

586
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,439
Speaker 5: So that can be as simple as taking two seconds

587
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 5: to text your friend when you're thinking about them, Send

588
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 5: them the text and let them know. Call your mom

589
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 5: when you're thinking about her in the car. Do the

590
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 5: two minute thing. That is a tiny investment that compounds

591
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 5: into the future, because anything above zero compounds positively. But

592
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 5: when our lives get busy, social wealth and our relationships

593
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 5: tend to be the first thing to fall by the wayside.

594
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 5: We forget to reconnect with those old friends, We stop

595
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 5: doing that annual trip with the group that we love,

596
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 5: and the moments that you have for those people are fleeting.

597
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 5: And I mean, I think about it. With your closest

598
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 5: relationships with your kids, there is a ten year I mean,

599
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 5: you guys are in this right now. There is a

600
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 5: ten year window during which you are your child's favorite

601
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 5: person in the entire world, and after that they have

602
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 5: other favorite people, They have best friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, partners

603
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 5: of their own and you will never occupy that same

604
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 5: place in their life. And while we are in those moments,

605
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 5: while we were in those magic years, those windows, we

606
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 5: need to make an effort to truly be present when

607
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 5: we are there. And that doesn't mean we stop working,

608
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 5: that doesn't mean we stop pursuing our passions and our purpose,

609
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 5: but it does mean that when we are there, we

610
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 5: need to make an effort to truly be there, to

611
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 5: make sure that we do put down our phones, to

612
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 5: be present, to play, to show ourselves as our ideal

613
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 5: self in those windows.

614
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 3: Amen to that.

615
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:56,800
Speaker 1: I love that.

616
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, you talk about the one of your So when

617
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 4: we have a guest on, I go through Instagram and

618
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 4: I google and stuff and I'll pick like two or

619
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 4: three things which which immediately hit me and whether it's

620
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 4: a quote or whether it's a video or a picture

621
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 4: of whatever, it may be. One of the things that

622
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 4: I extracted from your Instagram was your post about preparation

623
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 4: always beats planning. Can you elaborate a less little bit

624
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 4: more on that, because I think that's a really important,

625
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 4: really important point. You're really big on Yeah, Joanna's really

626
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 4: big on planning a lot of things.

627
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 1: I'm less organized planning.

628
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't like to make a plan,

629
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 3: like if we were like to go on a vacation,

630
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 3: but like when it comes to like schedules, I would say,

631
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 3: I'm I'm I'm very scheduled with like kids stuff and

632
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 3: like making sure like so it's like plan I don't know.

633
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 5: I think that structure, I know what you.

634
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:54,760
Speaker 3: Mean, but like it's just yeah, it's more like structure.

635
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, I think of that as structure, which I

636
00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 5: think is a great thing because it don't don't tell

637
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 5: me your priorities, show me your calendar. Is like a

638
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 5: great phrase for life, and I really think it is helpful,

639
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 5: especially with kids. By the way, structure is incredible when

640
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 5: it comes to planning. We all obsess over creating the

641
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 5: perfect plan for our lives. We stand where we are

642
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 5: and we try to create this perfect plan for the

643
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 5: next five years, ten years, fifteen years, and the reality

644
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 5: is that that doesn't work. Planning fundamentally is based on

645
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 5: the expectation of order. It is based on the idea

646
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 5: that the seas are going to be calm and that

647
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 5: you can plan where you are standing and to get

648
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 5: to the other side of this great long sea and voyage.

649
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 5: Preparation is based on the expectation of chaos. You are

650
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 5: preparing yourself for when the storms and the chaos comes,

651
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 5: to be able to navigate through to the other side.

652
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 5: Preparation beats planning ten times out of ten because we

653
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 5: know life is chaotic. You are never going to have

654
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 5: a perfectly clear journey with calm seas the entire way,

655
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 5: and that's not what the journey is about. The journeys

656
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:02,239
Speaker 5: are made better or buy the chaos. But preparing for

657
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 5: it upfront is much more effective than anticipating that you're

658
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 5: going to have the perfect plan.

659
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 2: Agreed, Yes, we'll put good answer. I like that.

660
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 4: I think as a I don't know if you know

661
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 4: my background, but I'm a coach. So whether it be

662
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 4: an individual session or a team session, you're always preparing

663
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 4: for things that might happen within that session, things that

664
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 4: are out with the structure of the session, things that

665
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 4: make them up, and you're almost you're almost preparing a

666
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 4: plan if this session goes wrong. And it's really important.

667
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 4: I think when you talk about the difference between preparation

668
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 4: and planning that you.

669
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 2: A lot of people are streamline with the planning, whereas.

670
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 4: Preparation for me is okay, how does this fail and

671
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 4: prepare so that it doesn't fail because these.

672
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 2: Things might come up.

673
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 4: I love that, Yeah, and it's always it was difficult

674
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 4: to then take that into real life scenarios because you

675
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 4: have a you have a you have more of a

676
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 4: plan of what you want to achieve in your life,

677
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 4: whether it's family or relationships, and it never really kind

678
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 4: of goes that way, whereas you'll plan other things or

679
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 4: the chaos and they expected the unexpected to happen. But

680
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 4: I think people need to do it more for and

681
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 4: why need to do it more in our lives. And

682
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 4: that's and again that's a positive thing because you look

683
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 4: at the things that come up in your life on

684
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,239
Speaker 4: a weekly basis, where like oh, we wanted to do

685
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 4: this this week, but now we're going to have to

686
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 4: do this, like New York.

687
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 2: This week, we had to cancel.

688
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're having to pivot and adjust and adapt, and

689
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 4: where it becomes more of a reactive thing.

690
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 5: Mike Tyson has this great quote, everyone has a plan

691
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 5: until they get punched in the mouth, and life has

692
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 5: a way of punching you in the mouth a whole lot.

693
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 5: So it's much better to be prepared relationally.

694
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 3: What do you think is the best piece of wealth

695
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 3: advice for you? And you've noticed in inside your.

696
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 5: Marriage focus on growing in love rather than falling in love.

697
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 5: My wife and I have been together since she was

698
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,320
Speaker 5: fourteen years old i was fifteen, and we have grown

699
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 5: together across very different seasons of our lives. And at

700
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 5: the end of the day, the best relationships are built

701
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:30,840
Speaker 5: through shared struggle. Shared struggle actually releases oxytocin, a chemical

702
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:34,439
Speaker 5: that creates feelings of love and connection. And I would

703
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 5: say in the social media age wherein too many people

704
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:38,839
Speaker 5: are focusing on the falling, which is what you see

705
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 5: on social media. It's the Instagram, filtered photos and perfect images,

706
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 5: and that is not where deep relationships are built. Deep

707
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 5: relationships are built when you are willing to sit in

708
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:51,400
Speaker 5: the mud with people, struggle through things, and have the

709
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 5: hard conversations to build something more meaningful. So if you

710
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 5: are focused on the falling, you will hit the eject

711
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 5: button in your life and in your life relationship before

712
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 5: you get to that growing phase. And it's on the

713
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 5: other side of the growth of the growing that the

714
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,720
Speaker 5: deepest relationships are built.

715
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:13,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree with you on that for sure. It's

716
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 3: it's very easy to just hit that eject button in

717
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,839
Speaker 3: this day and age. You know, there's there's a lot.

718
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 3: It always looks greener and it's easy. That's to me.

719
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 3: It's always looks like the the path least of resistance,

720
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,879
Speaker 3: but it's not the growth road for sure.

721
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 4: Okay, So what makes you what makes your your book

722
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 4: different from what's your IP? What's your special thing that

723
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:42,840
Speaker 4: makes you a book different from the hundreds of thousands

724
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 4: out there? Why Why do I pick up your book

725
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 4: and think, Okay, this is the one that's really helped me.

726
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 5: I would say that the book is going to force

727
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 5: you to ask the questions that you've been avoiding in

728
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 5: your life. This book is not about giving you the

729
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 5: answers for how to live your life. It is very

730
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 5: much about causing you to ask the questions. Sitting with

731
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,880
Speaker 5: the questions that are going to allow you to uncover

732
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 5: the right answers for where you are on your journey.

733
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 5: And that is really what I want people to do.

734
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 5: Identify the things that truly matter to you, not what

735
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,840
Speaker 5: the world tells you should matter, not what your family

736
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:17,800
Speaker 5: tells you, what your friends tell you, what social media

737
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 5: tells you, but what you truly care about, and then

738
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 5: go take tiny actions to build your life around those things.

739
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,360
Speaker 3: Perfectly said, perfect ending. Yeah, thank you so much for

740
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 3: coming on. We really appreciate it. Everybody, go get the

741
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,799
Speaker 3: Five Types of Wealth, A transformative guide to design your

742
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 3: dream life.

743
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 1: Boom, Thank you so much, appreciate it.

744
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 5: Thank you, I appreciate you. Nice meeting you, take care

745
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 5: you too.

746
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 3: Gooyebye hell rom and we said hi.

747
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 5: Likewise, Hi,