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Speaker 1: My wife is leaving me and someone is going to

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Speaker 1: jail all because I just forced my step daughter out

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Speaker 1: of the house. Am I the a hole?

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Speaker 2: I feel like we got to play some relationship bingo,

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Speaker 2: Like if you are getting divorced and maybe going to jail, yep,

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Speaker 2: you might be the a hole.

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Speaker 1: Maybe than this house has been in my family for

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Speaker 1: generations and it has a lot of sentimental value to me.

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Speaker 1: I am now with a long term girlfriend of seven

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Speaker 1: years after a divorce from my first wife, which ended

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Speaker 1: on good terms. She has a daughter from a previous marriage,

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Speaker 1: and I have a daughter from my marriage as well.

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Speaker 1: Our daughters are both seventeen, with mine being basically three

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Speaker 1: months younger. Kara, the oldest, is going to be turning

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Speaker 1: eighteen in May.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 1: Carol will be going to school near the beach house

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Speaker 1: that we have and asked if she could live in

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Speaker 1: it and save some money, which would be a significant

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Speaker 1: help to her. I don't think you could give an

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Speaker 1: eighteen year old a beach house.

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Speaker 2: I think I think that is if you want your

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Speaker 2: beach house to be trashed, then you can give your

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Speaker 2: eighteen year old a beach hoes yeses make sure like

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Speaker 2: as an insurance can cover it or.

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Speaker 1: Something to destroy the property. My daughter Emmy approached me

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Speaker 1: and has said that she wanted to live there after

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Speaker 1: the sun, but wanted to live in it alone also

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Speaker 1: while going to school. Now this house is more than

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Speaker 1: big enough for two, but she pointed out that they

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Speaker 1: have very different lifestyles and would be far more comfortable

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Speaker 1: alone or with a friend if I insisted that she

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Speaker 1: lived with someone else.

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Speaker 2: I wonder what the lifestyles are.

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Speaker 1: It was a frank conversation, and my daughter brought up

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Speaker 1: the fact that the home will be hers one day,

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Speaker 1: so it made sense, and she's right home will be

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Speaker 1: hers by law in a few years, as I'm going

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Speaker 1: to pass it to her. My girlfriend and my stepdaughter

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Speaker 1: Kara are very upset and calling it favoritism and pointing

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Speaker 1: out that she will already be set up for life

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Speaker 1: having a free ride to school via scholarships and housing,

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Speaker 1: while my stepdaughter Kara will have to be using loans

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Speaker 1: and she may have to take a gap year to

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Speaker 1: attend another school. Altogether, they're asking me to reconsider, and

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Speaker 1: I think I've damaged my relationship. Am I the a

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Speaker 1: hole in this decision? I agree that it's favoritism. But

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Speaker 1: Emma is my daughter. Of course I'm going to favor her.

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Speaker 1: Right now, there's an update here. Ladies and gentlemen, know

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Speaker 1: where you're at right now. Let me know where you're

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Speaker 1: at right now in the commons.

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Speaker 2: That's tricky to you. It's a little bit tricky, right,

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Speaker 2: It's a little bit tricky. I mean, it is his daughter.

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Speaker 2: It is going to be his daughter's house. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: it's not her house yet. I feel like it would

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Speaker 2: be right to allow the other daughter to live there. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: at the very least.

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of feeling some mayhole vibes going on a

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Speaker 1: little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think maybe from his daughter.

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Speaker 1: Well, there was an update, So I spoke to my

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Speaker 1: daughter Emmy and her mother and let them know where

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Speaker 1: I stood. That I was with Emmy, but I also

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Speaker 1: felt that my stepdaughter Kara and her mom deserve a

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Speaker 1: genuine conversation. So this is the conversation we had this

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Speaker 1: past Friday. The talk started okay, obviously there were some emotions,

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Speaker 1: but I said that yelling in tears would not be

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Speaker 1: used to influence anybody. After it was all said and wegan,

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Speaker 1: I just opposed the situation as this This is a

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Speaker 1: second home that I owned fully and outright. It will

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Speaker 1: be my daughter, Emmy's, fully and legally in a few years,

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Speaker 1: but as of today it is mine. However, like the house,

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Speaker 1: Emmy is mine as well in my responsibility. No one

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Speaker 1: but us is entitled to it, and make no mistake,

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Speaker 1: Emmy is indeed entitled to it. It may not be

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Speaker 1: fair in your eyes, but it is what it is. Emy.

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Speaker 1: I can see why they may think it's selfish, as

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Speaker 1: the house can both, but I will support whatever you

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Speaker 1: want to do. This is not a discussion to change

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Speaker 1: your mind, but to better understand it. So then Kara

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Speaker 1: and her mom were saying they didn't understand why she

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Speaker 1: didn't want her to live there with her, as this

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Speaker 1: would dictate a huge part of her future. The answer

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Speaker 1: was half expected and the other hard for everyone to swallow.

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Speaker 1: Emmy said she didn't trust Kara to actually focus on

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Speaker 1: school and not make the home into a party house.

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Speaker 1: She point blank asked Kara if she could actually accept

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Speaker 1: not having guests over. Kara said something like a few

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Speaker 1: people two or three days a week wouldn't be a problem.

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Speaker 1: The answer should have been yes, yankes. Emmy said that

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Speaker 1: she wouldn't feel safe with her bringing over strange men

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Speaker 1: whenever she wanted, and her dad would want to visit,

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Speaker 1: and she doesn't trust her dad at all.

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Speaker 2: Yikes, Sam.

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Speaker 1: You know we talk about a lot of really hard

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Speaker 1: situations on this podcast.

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Speaker 2: Oh Baby, the hardest.

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Speaker 1: And you know, Sam, that's not the only thing that

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Speaker 1: we need heart in this world.

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Speaker 3: Oh yes.

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Speaker 1: Back to the episode, she said that school was her

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Speaker 1: main focus and saying safe would be a worry if

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Speaker 1: Kara was living there. Then karaen her mom got defensive,

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Speaker 1: but I told them it didn't matter. She can't say

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Speaker 1: she won't bring people over and tells me all that

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Speaker 1: I need to know, and my daughter's safety is paramount,

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Speaker 1: and Kara's focuses were blurred. Socializing is fine, but perhaps

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Speaker 1: I was wrong and it just got out of hand.

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Speaker 1: I told my girlfriend that as her and her mother

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Speaker 1: would have to address it, and that whatever the plan

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Speaker 1: would be for Kara's schooling, had she not ever met me,

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Speaker 1: she would just have to take that course of action.

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Speaker 1: So basically, like, hey, if we had never met you,

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Speaker 1: would be in the same situation anyways, I guess, but

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Speaker 1: again it's like.

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Speaker 2: And also you're together now. I don't know whether they're

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Speaker 2: just dating.

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Speaker 1: As for Emmy, after the conversation, I told her that

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Speaker 1: she would have her roommate as I felt that was important.

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Speaker 1: She was fine with that and asked if she could

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Speaker 1: have a friend be her roommate. I told her yes,

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Speaker 1: So all was good there. So Sam, what do you

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Speaker 1: think so the conversation is over? What do you think

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Speaker 1: is it'd be the end results.

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Speaker 2: Well, I was hoping it would be resolved and then

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Speaker 2: Emmy would just have her friend be there roommate and

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Speaker 2: then bing bang boom, everyone is I mean a little

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Speaker 2: bit pissed, but it's over. One would think, right, oh God,

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Speaker 2: what's gonna happen?

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Speaker 1: As everyone guessed, my girlfriend is now my ex girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: She asked me to stay somewhere else for the week

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Speaker 1: while she found somewhere to stay. I reminded her this

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Speaker 1: house was also mine, but she was free to leave whenever.

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Speaker 1: She ended up going to stay with the coworker, but

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Speaker 1: something happened. She asked me to come back, but I

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Speaker 1: told her that it wouldn't be wise. That's the update

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Speaker 1: for now, daughter is happy. I'm better than I thought

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Speaker 1: I would be. Today is a new day. Exclamation marred

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Speaker 1: Ex'll figure it out and Kara has time to learn

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Speaker 1: and grow. Say I believe it or not. There is

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Speaker 1: one final kind of juicy update. Really to me, a

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Speaker 1: very long story shore this was not the full conclusion

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Speaker 1: that I thought it was going to be. My former

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Speaker 1: stepdaughter Kara is now in jail. She was picked up

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Speaker 1: in a stolen Kia by some friends. They used the

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Speaker 1: car to break into a pod shop.

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Speaker 2: I'm so glad that in a letter stays.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't tell you what was stolen or how much

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Speaker 1: was stolen, but so football cards were taken, and I

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Speaker 1: guess they were worth more than the car and the

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Speaker 1: building damage. I understand people will say a lot about this,

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Speaker 1: but I can honestly say that she never did anything

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Speaker 1: remotely like this. The worst I think I saw her

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Speaker 1: do was break a dish on purpose when she was thirteen.

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Speaker 2: I think maybe Emmy knew more about what Kara was

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Speaker 2: up to, and her parents knew.

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Speaker 3: As for my ex, she is now living in a shelter.

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Speaker 1: She was not cheating on me, and I never thought

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Speaker 1: that she was that was just people making leaps. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: the woman she was living with asked her to join

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Speaker 1: her and her husband's for some activities after moving in.

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Speaker 1: She felt that she had to do it for a

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Speaker 1: place to live and regretted it. She told people at work,

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Speaker 1: and then she was terminated after refusing to transfer. My

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Speaker 1: daughter and I are good, but mentally shook. Wow.

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Speaker 2: Their whole life just freaking fell apart.

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Speaker 1: I gotta really ask if anyone's been in a similar situation,

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Speaker 1: because this was.

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Speaker 2: You do what would you do? And also at every

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Speaker 2: single point, like what would you do if your daughter

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Speaker 2: came and said, hey, I don't want to live with

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Speaker 2: this girl who knows why? What would you do after

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Speaker 2: the conversation you had? And then what would you do

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Speaker 2: with all this follout that happened after. I think Emmy

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Speaker 2: is not the A hole.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, IOUs.

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Speaker 2: I think Emmy knew more than dad and girlfriend. And

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Speaker 2: she was like, hey, I know how much his girl

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Speaker 2: parties and she's kind of up toad bad shit. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so I don't want to hang around her. I don't

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Speaker 2: think your dad's the A hole either. I don't think

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Speaker 2: op's the a hole. He's just trying to look out

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Speaker 2: for his daughter. I don't think the girlfriend's the A hole.

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Speaker 2: I think this is like, no one's the a whole scenario.

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Speaker 2: But it just kind of sucks. Everything sucks. But let

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Speaker 2: us know what you think. We could be totally wrong,

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Speaker 2: and you tell us that all the time, So thank you,

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Speaker 2: but we will see you in the next episode.

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Speaker 1: My wife thinks I look disgusting, but I don't care.

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Speaker 1: Am I the A hole?

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Speaker 2: No, you're not the A whole? I have self love.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you're not. I don't know. It depends how like

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Speaker 2: gross you're looking.

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Speaker 3: Man.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if you're a literal toad monster just like

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Speaker 1: cover and like caked and filth, that's yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. But if you're just you know, being killing her

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Speaker 2: lounge and you know, wearing some box or briefs or

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Speaker 2: some sweatpants or some swoveralls and you're chilling, live your life,

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Speaker 2: live your life. Oh.

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Speaker 1: I'm a twenty six male and my wife is twenty

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Speaker 1: four female, and we've been married for two years. And

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Speaker 1: I know we're both young, but we're both from a

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Speaker 1: conservative slash religious area.

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Speaker 2: And they love each other and they love each other hopefully.

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Speaker 1: So my wife is a kind of person who always

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Speaker 1: has her hair and makeup done, and she has matching

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Speaker 1: nail polish to her outfit every single day.

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Speaker 2: Jesus, it sounds exhausting a lot. It's a full, full

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Speaker 2: thing that you got to remember to do every day.

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Speaker 2: I can barely remember to eat most days. It takes

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Speaker 2: at least an hour for her to get ready in

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Speaker 2: the morning, and she does the full routine every single day,

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Speaker 2: even if it's just going to be the two of

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Speaker 2: us at the house with no plans. That's a bit much.

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Speaker 1: It's a bit much.

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Speaker 2: But maybe you're like, I just want to impress hubby.

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Speaker 2: You know, maybe if you want to do it, it's fine.

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Speaker 2: It makes you happy.

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Speaker 1: I I've never asked her to do this once. She's

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Speaker 1: always just been that kind of person since I met her,

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Speaker 1: and I do admit I do appreciate it. She does

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Speaker 1: look great, so he ain't man looking like a snack

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Speaker 1: looking like a snack. I don't dress like a slob

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Speaker 1: or anything, but when I come home from work, I

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Speaker 1: like to put on a pair of sweatpants, a T shirt,

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Speaker 1: a hoodie or maybe some swoveralls.

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Speaker 2: Look at these babies, and it has the inside pocket.

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Speaker 1: You can store anything, and after we're cold, one a

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Speaker 1: cellular device too convenient?

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Speaker 2: Boom, where did that go in the secret pocket?

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Speaker 1: Baby swear? But here's the thing saying. My wife recently

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Speaker 1: told me she doesn't like this.

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Speaker 2: What doesn't like that is being comfortable lounging around the house.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't like him to enjoy himself.

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Speaker 2: I guess, wow, you know these ladies always trying to

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Speaker 2: make us have less fun job exactly trying to break

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Speaker 2: her free stallions.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Lying, Now, my wife wants me to put more

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Speaker 1: effort into looking my best at home instead of just

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Speaker 1: at the office, and wants me to stay dressed in

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Speaker 1: this I aim buttoned down and slacks that I wear

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Speaker 1: to the office for the rest of the entire evening.

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Speaker 2: Wait, she wants you Nah, dude, you don't, you know,

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Speaker 2: wear office clothes the whole day.

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Speaker 1: That's too much.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes when I get home, I literally just like I'm

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Speaker 2: like a like a you know, the Tasmanian devil. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm like the Tazmanian devil. I rip off all of

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Speaker 2: my clothes. I'm in my boxers in the first like

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Speaker 2: two minutes getting under cover of night.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm naked.

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Speaker 2: I'd just be walking around my house naked.

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Speaker 1: I told her that it does not sound comfortable wearing

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Speaker 1: all my work clothes trying to relax at night.

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Speaker 2: Bro, there's no way that's comfortable.

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Speaker 1: And she said that her outfits and hairstyles aren't comfortable

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Speaker 1: a lot of the time either, but she wears them anyways.

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Speaker 2: That don't do it. Don't do it, But don't force

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Speaker 2: my man's to bunch his balls just because you don't.

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Speaker 2: You know, you want him to and you feel like

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Speaker 2: you have to.

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Speaker 1: For real. I told her that I don't have any

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Speaker 1: expectation that she does that, and I wouldn't care if

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Speaker 1: she just wanted to wear sweatpants, pajamas or whatever.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't matter. And also, John, it doesn't have

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Speaker 2: to be a choice.

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Speaker 1: No, it doesn't.

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Speaker 2: No, Actually, we are making the choice to be both

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Speaker 2: fashionable and comfortable. Brand new Swoverrall's baby.

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Speaker 1: Look at this, Check our Lincoln bio and use okop

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Speaker 1: a discount for fifteen percent off. So back to the story,

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Speaker 1: she said, it doesn't matter if I personally have that

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Speaker 1: expectation of her, but that is what's expected by society,

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Speaker 1: and that if she has to do it, then I

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Speaker 1: should match her level.

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Speaker 2: Again as a sign of respect, I don't know about that.

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Speaker 1: Maybe a bit much there.

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Speaker 2: I think she is right that generally women are pressured

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Speaker 2: more by society to look good like all the time,

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Speaker 2: But I don't think this societal pressure necessarily follows into

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Speaker 2: private quarters exactly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're when you're in your own home, that is

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Speaker 1: your society.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, bro, you create your own society. And if

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Speaker 2: my man isn't being like, you know, a dick and

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Speaker 2: say like oh God to address all the nice all

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Speaker 2: the time, and he doesn't have that double standard, then

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Speaker 2: I think it's fine to just be comfortable.

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Speaker 1: And that's something she personally wants wants for various personal reasons,

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Speaker 1: but Op doesn't feel the same.

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Speaker 2: Divorced call one night hundred Okop.

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Speaker 1: I asked my sister twenty nine female about this, because

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Speaker 1: she is usually the go to for this kind of advice.

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Speaker 1: She laughed and said that she never wears makeup around

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Speaker 1: the house and doesn't care if her husband sits around

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Speaker 1: in his boxers all weekend. I jokingly told her tell

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Speaker 1: my wife that. But the thing is, my sister actually

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Speaker 1: texted to tell my wife that no, lay no, they're friends,

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Speaker 1: So my wife didn't get mad at my sister for

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Speaker 1: saying it, but my wife is mad at me for

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Speaker 1: running to my sister to get someone else to agree

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Speaker 1: with me.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, you know, it's his sister. I think

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Speaker 2: it's fine.

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Speaker 1: So the question is am I the a hole for

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Speaker 1: not wanting to dress up around the house? And was

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Speaker 1: I wrong for asking my sister for advice?

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Speaker 2: I think on two counts of you being the a hole,

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Speaker 2: you are not guilty charges. Yeah, not guilty, not guilty.

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Speaker 1: See you