1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:12,239 Speaker 1: M from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in 2 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers 3 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you 4 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands 5 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the 6 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals 7 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments 8 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored Alchemedo chariots. To keep 9 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black, 10 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of 11 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife, 12 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ass is, 13 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 1: and the ancestis told me that you would come to 14 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:09,520 Speaker 1: give wisdom. Thousands they said you would come, Dropping Dropping 15 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:14,559 Speaker 1: Gim Welcome back to another episode of the Dropping Gym's podcast. 16 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: I'm Debbie Brown, and this is my show. We explore 17 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 1: all things higher consciousness, spirituality, and most importantly, make them 18 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: applicable to our day to day, moment by moment life 19 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: in service to our liberation. Radical healing, radical self acceptance, 20 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: radical self love. Today's episode is I am certain, going 21 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:46,959 Speaker 1: to be a very expansive and perhaps emotional show for 22 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 1: many of us that get a chance to hear from 23 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:55,919 Speaker 1: my very esteemed guest. We're gonna be talking about somatic 24 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 1: abolitionism today. I've referenced on the show quite a bit 25 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 1: importance of somatic practice. I do not believe that it 26 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 1: is possible to reconnect to our wholeness, to reconnect to 27 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 1: our highest selves, to reconnect to our highest vision, or 28 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: to do the deepest healing possible for ourselves or for 29 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:23,919 Speaker 1: our family lineages without somatic experiencing it has been a 30 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:31,239 Speaker 1: revolutionary part of my practice. And today's guest not only 31 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,080 Speaker 1: is an expert and an innovator and a visionary in 32 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: this field, he is someone who has been doing some 33 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: of the deepest and most challenging healing work possible, facilitating it, 34 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: creating it. For thirty years before conversations like this were 35 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 1: happening anywhere. He answered this calling on his life and 36 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 1: showed up in powerful service for so many. So I 37 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 1: am so excited about this show, and I want you 38 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 1: to feast on his full bio. Um So I will 39 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 1: very very um reverently share all the details about my 40 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 1: special guest today. Resma Menicum is joining me today on 41 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:23,919 Speaker 1: Dropping Jim's. Resma Menicum is a healer, a long time therapist, 42 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 1: and a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in the 43 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: healing of trauma. He's also the founder of the Cultural 44 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 1: Somatics Institute, a cultural trauma navigator, and a communal provocateur 45 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: and coach. Resma is best known as the author of 46 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: the New York Times bestseller My Grandmother's Hands, Racialized Trauma 47 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: and The Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies, and 48 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 1: as the originator and key advocate of thematic abolitionism and 49 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:01,720 Speaker 1: embodied anti racist practice of living and culture building. He 50 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: is also the author of Psychology Today's Somatic Abolitionism blog. 51 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 1: For ten years, Resma co hosted a radio show with 52 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: former U S Congressman Keith Ellison on km o J 53 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:17,359 Speaker 1: FM in Minneapolis. He also hosted his own show, Resmon 54 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: the Morning on km o J. Resume has appeared on 55 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: both The oprah Winfree Show and Dr Phil as an 56 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 1: expert on family dynamics, couples in conflict, and domestic violence. 57 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,160 Speaker 1: He has also been a guest on Charlottagne, The God's 58 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:35,239 Speaker 1: Comedy Central TV program The God's Honest Truth You Gotta 59 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:38,359 Speaker 1: Watch That, and on I Heart Radio is The Breakfast 60 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 1: Club with Charlottagne, The God and angela Ye and d 61 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: J n B. He currently hosts the Guerilla News podcast 62 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:49,279 Speaker 1: on the Amplified Voices platform. Resman has served as the 63 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: director of counseling services for Tebman Family Alliance, a domestic 64 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: violence treatments center in Minneapolis, the behavioral health director for 65 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:01,719 Speaker 1: African American Family Services in Minneapoli List, a domestic violence 66 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 1: counselor for Wilder Foundation, a divorce and family mediator, a 67 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: social worker from Minneapolis Public Schools, a youth counselor, a 68 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: community organizer, and a marketing strategist from Resuma. Was a 69 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 1: community care counselor for civilian contractors in Afghanistan, managing the 70 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:26,039 Speaker 1: wellness and counseling services on fifty three U S Military basis. 71 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,679 Speaker 1: As a certified military Family Life consultant, he also worked 72 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 1: with members of the military and their families on issues 73 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: related to family living, deployment, and returning home. Resume helps 74 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 1: people rise through sufferings edge. His work focuses on making 75 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: the invisible visible. You can learn more about resume and 76 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,480 Speaker 1: his work at his website Resuma dot com that's r 77 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:53,040 Speaker 1: S m a a dot com, and on his Instagram feed, 78 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: which is Resumaum. Wow here he is, good lord, So 79 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:05,600 Speaker 1: welcome to the show. Rest Uh, this is good. I've 80 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: been I've been looking forward to this. Uh ever since 81 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 1: we met, I've been looking forward to shitting down and 82 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: just chopping up with you. So I'm uh, this is uh. 83 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,720 Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm I might be more excited about doing 84 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,720 Speaker 1: this than you are. I actually feel like I'm about 85 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 1: to cry. So I'm gonna take the I'm gonna take 86 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 1: the crown for that one, because you know, my God, Okay, 87 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 1: let me get rooted and anchored in the present moment um. 88 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,839 Speaker 1: I really want to start this conversation with you by 89 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:43,479 Speaker 1: first and foremost saying thank you, thank you so much 90 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 1: for the work that you do, and thank you for 91 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 1: doing this work for so long, because that's the thing 92 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:54,839 Speaker 1: that I think is so striking to me when I 93 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,360 Speaker 1: explore your work, When I explore this moment in human history, 94 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:02,359 Speaker 1: you know, the rest of the world is just just 95 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 1: starting to not even catch up, just starting to open 96 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: their eyes to the idea of trauma to the idea 97 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 1: of the importance of somatic healing and somatic development. And 98 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 1: you have been doing this work for decades for so long, 99 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: and to answer that call when other people don't understand 100 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: is just such a next level of courage and the 101 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 1: next level of anointing and purpose from God. And I 102 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: just want you to know that I recognize that, and 103 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,960 Speaker 1: I am so grateful for your life and I'm so 104 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:38,559 Speaker 1: grateful for the depth of work that you have shared 105 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 1: with the world. Mhmm, yeah, you know, m um. So 106 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:58,119 Speaker 1: when when I'm when I'm working with people or doing 107 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 1: trainings and stuff like that, one of the things that 108 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 1: I say to people is that you know, you I 109 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 1: the level of brutality that happens when you're trying to 110 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: tell particularly brown and black and Indigenous people that they're 111 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 1: not defective, even when you don't really even have the 112 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: words to describe it yet. Um, all you have is notions. 113 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: All you have our our sensations that who some something 114 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: is off here, or something is not quite right, or 115 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: there's more. And I the way that I think about 116 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 1: this is that the brutality, the viciousness, the attacks that 117 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,840 Speaker 1: actually come from people that look like me Um, all 118 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 1: of those things are are are reps, are conditioning, are temperings, 119 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: um to to cultivate a container that could actually withstand 120 00:08:55,280 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: what you're trying to bring forth. And UM, I don't 121 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:03,080 Speaker 1: like all of the all these thirty thirty five years 122 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:09,200 Speaker 1: of doing this work, I don't. Um, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. 123 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:13,000 Speaker 1: I wouldn't give up any part of the process. There's 124 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 1: no what people saying, you know, all kinds of stuff 125 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 1: just you know, and I wouldn't. I wouldn't change anything. 126 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 1: And so thank you for saying that. You know, Um, Um, 127 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 1: that's starting to happen, is particularly it's starting to happen 128 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,840 Speaker 1: more and more. We're particularly black women are saying that 129 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:38,320 Speaker 1: to me. Um, it's just really you know, you know, 130 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:42,760 Speaker 1: black dudes or give me some dap and and and 131 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,920 Speaker 1: and you know, like Charlemagne woll sit with me and 132 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: talk with me a little bit. But it's the black 133 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:51,200 Speaker 1: women that I'm starting to hear this stuff from a lot, Like, 134 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 1: you know, thank you, and and you gave me words. 135 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:57,000 Speaker 1: I already knew this stuff, but you helped me kind 136 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: of um articulated in way and in context that is 137 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:05,439 Speaker 1: that soothes me. And so for me, you know, because 138 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 1: for me, black women are the start of human creation. 139 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 1: When I hear that, I'm like, yeah, that's you know, 140 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:16,319 Speaker 1: I'm doing all right, So thank you for saying mm hmm. 141 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,679 Speaker 1: It's an honor for me to share that with you. 142 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 1: And I think, you know what, some of what you 143 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,720 Speaker 1: just touched on what I recognized as the leading force 144 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 1: of my work when I first started down this path 145 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 1: of being a healer and being a teacher was really 146 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 1: like for me, the driving whisper in my ear was like, 147 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:45,680 Speaker 1: we need more emotional depth more in our communities. That 148 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 1: that was one of the first ways that I found 149 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,280 Speaker 1: this path and why I knew I wanted to use 150 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: my voice and speak in the way that I do 151 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,560 Speaker 1: because and and you know, and that will lead me 152 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,840 Speaker 1: into the understanding of the body. But it's like if 153 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 1: we if we don't have more we used to understand 154 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,440 Speaker 1: ourselves and to understand our feelings and to explore it, 155 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: we stay culturally in this loop of down pain and 156 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,320 Speaker 1: we forget the history of the pain. We forget we 157 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 1: don't have the language because we weren't allowed it. We 158 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:22,440 Speaker 1: forgut the context. That's it, Yes, that ship what we 159 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:24,720 Speaker 1: do is so there's this thing when I do by train. 160 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: There's this thing that I talked about called hip h 161 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:33,320 Speaker 1: I P P right, and is the way that I 162 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: talk about when we when we watch a like like 163 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 1: when we watch a black body being destroyed, right, like 164 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: we we we we there's there's a level of collective 165 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:51,640 Speaker 1: anguish that happens throughout our community, right, and we we 166 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 1: what happens is we take we take that collective anguish 167 00:11:56,360 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 1: and we make it personal anguish. Um because we because 168 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 1: it's happening to us personally, so so we don't so 169 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: so the weight of it both weathers and weathers us right. 170 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: And so when we're sitting there and we're trying to 171 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:15,600 Speaker 1: handle a communal horror with individual strategies, it's not enough. 172 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:20,600 Speaker 1: We have to develop we have to develop these communal ways. 173 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:25,560 Speaker 1: Just like what you're doing, like you're rocking, you're you're grunting, right, 174 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 1: those are affirmatives for me, right, those are okay, rest 175 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 1: when you move in the right direction. Right. We don't 176 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 1: even understand that that is a literal intelligence. Mm hmm. 177 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 1: That's that is a that that is not that when 178 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,719 Speaker 1: when I'm laying when I'm sitting in my grandmother's left, 179 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 1: my dad is going in out of prison, my mama's 180 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,440 Speaker 1: gotta work twelve and thirteen hours a day, and my 181 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 1: grandmother is watching her shows, General Hospital and My Life 182 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: to Live. She said, yeah, stories, Uh, we're just sitting 183 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 1: there and and and my ear is to her chest 184 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:09,440 Speaker 1: and she humming right when she's doing that. That is healing. 185 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,720 Speaker 1: And what we have to do is because all of 186 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,720 Speaker 1: that stuff, all of those particular pieces tried to be 187 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 1: stripped from us, our role as black and brown and 188 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,560 Speaker 1: indigenous people in this moment, in this time is to 189 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: reclaim those pieces and cultivate a containers. So when joy 190 00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 1: shows up, I don't reject it because I don't know it. 191 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:35,400 Speaker 1: Well always shows up. I'm able to tolerate it. Most 192 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: people want good ship in their lives, but they can't 193 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 1: tolerate it. That's not a personal defect. That is the 194 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:47,439 Speaker 1: design of the structure. The structure was designed particularly for 195 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 1: black women. Think about this as we come from a 196 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 1: people that were legally raped for two hundred and fifty 197 00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 1: years just cause of this. Yeah, like like like like 198 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 1: legally raped. So there is a certain amount. I don't 199 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:17,440 Speaker 1: use male and female energy. I use projective and receptive energy. 200 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:22,600 Speaker 1: There's a certain amount of projective energy that black people 201 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: must put out in order to keep the system from 202 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 1: ripping our hearts out on the daily desk. Right, So 203 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 1: when we when we are navigating and you you run 204 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 1: up against those pieces, we think it's a personal thing, 205 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 1: it's personality. But but but but but our survival depended 206 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 1: on us not having our heart available to a rabbid, 207 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 1: feral system. And so so now what we have to 208 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 1: do is reclaim those pieces that were shattered and and 209 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 1: and and pushed out. We have to actually reach and 210 00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 1: reclaim those pieces and say no, that is real, that 211 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 1: is important. And now I'm in a in in in 212 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 1: in somewhat of a safe enough situation in my house, 213 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,440 Speaker 1: and I'm saying that tentatively, I mean somewhat of something 214 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 1: that I could begin to condition my body to be 215 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: able to whole joy in a way that's much more expansive. 216 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 1: I don't I never beat up my people. I understand 217 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 1: that some of the strategies that we use are hurtful, 218 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 1: are not good. Our our massage, noir, are homeful, all 219 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 1: of that different type of stuff, And we have to 220 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 1: reclaim those pieces that they try to beat and rape 221 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 1: and kill an urgent out of us God, God, God. 222 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,360 Speaker 1: So the hip. So let me say this. So hip 223 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:55,760 Speaker 1: is my way of saying, when something happens when you're 224 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: watching something in your personal in the personal realm, where 225 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 1: something happens in the personal realm, but the energy of 226 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,760 Speaker 1: it feel, the energy of it has an experience of 227 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:10,200 Speaker 1: more charge and weighted than than maybe the experience. The 228 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 1: experience itself would suggest that that's not crazy. That what's 229 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 1: happening is you're both dealing with the historical, the intergenerational, 230 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 1: the persistent, institutional, and the personal stuff all at the 231 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,520 Speaker 1: same time. That's why that's why you feel not not 232 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 1: necessarily depressed, but suppressed, right, is because it's because those 233 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,440 Speaker 1: those energy pieces are happening all at the same time. 234 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 1: It's not because something is wrong with you. It's not 235 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,680 Speaker 1: because you don't have an adequate amount of of self 236 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:47,360 Speaker 1: care techniques. Is because it is, but your self care 237 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 1: techniques are inadequate to deal with the communal horror, the individual, 238 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 1: the historical horror, right, the intergenerational horror. Your individual strategies 239 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,400 Speaker 1: are not gonna you have to hold that has to 240 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:11,400 Speaker 1: be held with other bodies dropping. There are just endless 241 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,640 Speaker 1: pathways that I want to go down. But the thing 242 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,440 Speaker 1: coming forward for me right now, and especially because this 243 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,879 Speaker 1: is a spirituality podcast and people that come to this 244 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 1: show come for deeper understandings of higher consciousness and application 245 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:32,360 Speaker 1: of them. You know what you're speaking to, what you're 246 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:36,720 Speaker 1: speaking to is exactly also why I believe so much 247 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 1: of the wellness industry is unsafe. Come on, come on, 248 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,239 Speaker 1: come on, come on, you get ready to get your 249 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,399 Speaker 1: damn podcast canceled? Do you get ready to get cancer? 250 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,040 Speaker 1: But you know because and I'd love to share with 251 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 1: your resume like one of the one of the things 252 00:17:56,119 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 1: that made me even really understand that. And sess stural 253 00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 1: healing is the path and sextral healing is the calling, 254 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:08,320 Speaker 1: and we have to formulate joy outside of this industry standard. 255 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:13,439 Speaker 1: We have to find our healing and indigenous practice. It's really, 256 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:17,800 Speaker 1: you know, everything that I would do, everything that I 257 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 1: would do for the last couple of decades, anything that 258 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,320 Speaker 1: I was into, I'd always be the only person by 259 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:26,119 Speaker 1: far that looked like me in everyone room, always be 260 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: the youngest by far. And I think a lot of 261 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,639 Speaker 1: us have have gotten used to saying that. In expressing 262 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 1: that as part of our story that yeah, it was 263 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 1: so rare, was so different, but actually understanding the trauma 264 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 1: that real reinforces within us when we're in those rooms 265 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:46,440 Speaker 1: trying to heal, and it seems it seems subtle, or 266 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 1: it seems like you can come into a place of 267 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,280 Speaker 1: just yeah, but on the spiritual level, we're all one, 268 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 1: and we're all And I get into battles with people 269 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,560 Speaker 1: when I'm speaking places because I speak in rooms of 270 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,480 Speaker 1: people that look like me, and I killed how speak 271 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,680 Speaker 1: and teach in rooms where no one looks like me. 272 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 1: And people always want to come back and say, yeah, 273 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 1: but we're all one, and we have to look past 274 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,560 Speaker 1: it and we have to get on, you know, because 275 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 1: we're all equal. Yeah, Okay, as a soul, yes, I'll 276 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,360 Speaker 1: give that to you. If I'm in if I'm in 277 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,679 Speaker 1: the you know, the fifth dimension, if I'm in the 278 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:22,240 Speaker 1: twelfth dimension. But for sure, we're all these little chunks 279 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:27,120 Speaker 1: of God floating around in this place and this wild, 280 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 1: crazy battle ground that is Earth. And I remember I 281 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 1: remember in one of the in one of the programs 282 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 1: that I'm in UM, one of the one of the 283 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,800 Speaker 1: certification programs I did, I stood up and I was 284 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:46,440 Speaker 1: sharing that I was experiencing immense, NonStop grief around how 285 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,840 Speaker 1: I was relating to my child, and that I couldn't 286 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,680 Speaker 1: sleep and I felt like it was going to kill me. 287 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,600 Speaker 1: I hadn't slept for over ten days, and this was 288 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,920 Speaker 1: soon after my son was born, and I was having 289 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 1: NonStop anxiety. And I remember I stood up in class 290 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 1: to share that, and my teachers, my my multiple PhD 291 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:11,159 Speaker 1: holding have been doing this work for fifty years, beautiful 292 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,639 Speaker 1: people in many ways, but my teachers can still only 293 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 1: see and heal to the capacity of what is known 294 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,720 Speaker 1: to them. And when I stood up to share what 295 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: I was walking through, I was shamed. I was shamed 296 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,080 Speaker 1: by them in front of two people, and I was 297 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 1: shamed then for weeks by the rest of the class 298 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,760 Speaker 1: who would come up to me and they were saying 299 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 1: things like, well, maybe you're co dependent, maybe your helicopter mom, 300 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,560 Speaker 1: maybe this you know, you have to get out of 301 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 1: your own way, you have to do these things could 302 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 1: have made me come up with such an immense amount 303 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 1: of judgment around myself, or it could have made me 304 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: drop out of the program. And it took me and 305 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: I knew not to believe any of that. I knew 306 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,800 Speaker 1: to just keep moving forward, but it took me almost 307 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,239 Speaker 1: a year to really wrap my mind around what had 308 00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,199 Speaker 1: taken place in there and what it really was. And 309 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: the fact is it's like ancestrally, Yeah, of course I 310 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:07,439 Speaker 1: have anxiety around my black child being safe in this world. 311 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,879 Speaker 1: Of course, as another that is experiencing a depth of 312 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,360 Speaker 1: love this intense for the first time in my existence. 313 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,439 Speaker 1: I am frightened because there are no black men in 314 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,359 Speaker 1: my family, because all the black men I know in 315 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 1: my life have had awful things happen to them. Because 316 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,520 Speaker 1: this is a child in a very unsafe place that 317 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:31,159 Speaker 1: does not value black men and young black boys. And 318 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:35,439 Speaker 1: I have experienced so many of close black male friends 319 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,800 Speaker 1: to me being murdered. And it's like when people walk 320 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,480 Speaker 1: into these rooms and they want to just say, I 321 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,480 Speaker 1: don't see color, I don't see race. You should not 322 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:48,119 Speaker 1: teach you are not safeing in those rooms. People have 323 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,680 Speaker 1: complex trauma that they walk around with, and we are 324 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:55,119 Speaker 1: doing such a disservice to their psyche, such a disservice 325 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,159 Speaker 1: to their soul by not pushing ourselves out of our 326 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 1: comfort zone to study and learn your work, to study 327 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:08,000 Speaker 1: and learn other experiences. Yes, Can we pause on that? 328 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 1: Can we just pause on it? I just I want 329 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:38,439 Speaker 1: to I want you to hear me say something um 330 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:45,960 Speaker 1: um um if you, I want you to hear me 331 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,800 Speaker 1: say this to you. And that is, I'm sorry that 332 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:59,359 Speaker 1: that happens, that should not have happened. And you are 333 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 1: not defective. You are not defective. The structure is built 334 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:17,400 Speaker 1: on the white body deeming and deems itself the supreme 335 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:22,880 Speaker 1: standard by which all bodies shall be measured. Mm hmm. 336 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 1: It deems and deems it deemed and deems itself the 337 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 1: supreme standard by which all bodies humanity shall be measured. 338 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: So bringing a black body into existence, of course it's 339 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:47,600 Speaker 1: going to have some anxiety. That's not that's not you. 340 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:53,520 Speaker 1: That's not craziness. That is you literally being tied to 341 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 1: creation itself and and and not having the conditioning at 342 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 1: that point to be able to suss out what the 343 00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:06,639 Speaker 1: intelligences are, what, what's what's being community. So it's so 344 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:10,000 Speaker 1: it comes out or or lands. Remember the body is 345 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 1: both a receiver and an amplifier, and so when it 346 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:19,720 Speaker 1: lands in you, it lands as anxiety. Because that's the 347 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 1: only the only pathway that we know to explain that energy. 348 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 1: But in reality, this is what I say, there are 349 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:32,440 Speaker 1: set there are there are seven intelligences, and we as 350 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,439 Speaker 1: a people, as black people, as people of African descent, 351 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:39,200 Speaker 1: as as as as as people underneath this this this 352 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:43,720 Speaker 1: this pigment ocracy that we have. That there is a 353 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:48,360 Speaker 1: vibe and vibratory intelligence that has to be cultivated at home. 354 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,760 Speaker 1: There is an image, cognition and thoughts that have to 355 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:58,239 Speaker 1: be home. There is meaning making and shift back and 356 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 1: forth and discernment that have to be home. There's behavior 357 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:07,399 Speaker 1: and urges that have to be on. There's affect and 358 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:12,240 Speaker 1: emotionality that have to be honed. There's sensation that has 359 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 1: to be honed. And then there's imagination. I call it EMBOSSI. 360 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:19,360 Speaker 1: There's imagination that has to be honed. And what ends 361 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,679 Speaker 1: up happening is we have either been relegated to only 362 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:26,679 Speaker 1: thinking about it from the cognitive place or from the 363 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 1: emotional place. But there are so many more intelligences that 364 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,879 Speaker 1: if we hone both individually and community, we could have 365 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:38,240 Speaker 1: access to language willing, then that language will start to emerge. 366 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:42,639 Speaker 1: So when you start to begin to um to to 367 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:48,280 Speaker 1: have this experience, if not contextualized in a personal defect, 368 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:57,119 Speaker 1: MM hmmm, I and I feel like plugging in right now. 369 00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 1: Reism is say you are not broken. There's the concept 370 00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:07,400 Speaker 1: of trying to fix something broken is not real exactly 371 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,879 Speaker 1: what you are. One of the things I say to 372 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,880 Speaker 1: people is that you not only are you not broken, 373 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,520 Speaker 1: the system is not broken. It is operating exactly the 374 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,320 Speaker 1: way it was designed to operate. And that is to 375 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 1: grind your body, your black body, your indigenous body into dust. 376 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:31,600 Speaker 1: That's the design. That has always been the design. And 377 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,359 Speaker 1: so you said something earlier about about how you you 378 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,560 Speaker 1: stand up in these in these organisms or in these places, 379 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,760 Speaker 1: and people say, well, aren't we all human? We're all human? 380 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,080 Speaker 1: So you know I don't see any you know, they 381 00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:46,760 Speaker 1: do that ship right. And here's what I want to 382 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,760 Speaker 1: say to you is that and I don't need to 383 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 1: tell you this, but those people are dangerous. That is 384 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:02,840 Speaker 1: when somebody does that, don't just take it as oh, 385 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,680 Speaker 1: you know, they don't really get it and if they 386 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:08,120 Speaker 1: had more information that did Uh. When I hear that, 387 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:15,359 Speaker 1: I think that's vicious. That is violent for you to 388 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:23,159 Speaker 1: use spiritual bypassing m HM and racial bypassing to marginalize 389 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 1: my vibratory experience, my image experience, my meaning, making experience, 390 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 1: my my imagine, initial imaginal expect right for you to 391 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:36,600 Speaker 1: use that move speaks to the see. This is why, 392 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:40,160 Speaker 1: this is why I say white white bodies. The idea 393 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 1: of privilege, I think is a non starter. I don't think. 394 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,880 Speaker 1: I think the term privilege does is not operational enough 395 00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,680 Speaker 1: in terms of what if, what actually is happening to us? Right, 396 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,880 Speaker 1: what actually happened? What is actually happening. I don't say 397 00:27:55,880 --> 00:28:00,480 Speaker 1: white privilege anymore. I say white advantage. And the in 398 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:03,680 Speaker 1: a society that's predicated on the white body being the 399 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:10,920 Speaker 1: standard of humanists, it is an advantage, not just a privilege, 400 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 1: not just something you can use or not use. It 401 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 1: is a dispinct advantage for me, for you and me 402 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,639 Speaker 1: to be walking down in the street together, it is 403 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 1: a distinct advantage when a cruiser comes past for you 404 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,840 Speaker 1: to be in a white body. That is an advantage, 405 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:32,159 Speaker 1: not a privilege, an advantage, and those things are built 406 00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:36,040 Speaker 1: into the structure of white body. Supremacist is built in. 407 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: And so when somebody when you set up and say 408 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:43,160 Speaker 1: this is the reality that people walk around, people that 409 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,600 Speaker 1: look like me walk around in what they're trying to 410 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 1: do is get you. They're trying to gas like you 411 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,840 Speaker 1: and get you to buy into the spiritual bypassing people. 412 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,600 Speaker 1: Let me let me give you another people. Look, white 413 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:59,800 Speaker 1: white folks love absolutely and you can bleep this out, 414 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,840 Speaker 1: but it's just the way I cut I just cussed 415 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:07,560 Speaker 1: a little bit, right. White bodies fucking love to yoga, 416 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:11,880 Speaker 1: to God, to everything. They will they will, they will 417 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:20,640 Speaker 1: use yoga to get around everything racial. If you this 418 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:25,000 Speaker 1: so so so race, the concept of race, which white people, 419 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 1: white bodies developed lead, white bodies developed in and poor 420 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:33,920 Speaker 1: white bodies eight in with handfuls. The concept of race 421 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:39,360 Speaker 1: in and of itself is a is a concept that 422 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:45,640 Speaker 1: I believe um mix it is. It is immature. Off top, 423 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:49,000 Speaker 1: the concept that you can look at a body and 424 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,760 Speaker 1: say that is closer to human or not closer to 425 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:57,520 Speaker 1: human based on pigmentation is a crazy concept, but it 426 00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 1: has four hundred years. Here's what I want to say, 427 00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:05,120 Speaker 1: four to five. That concept had four to five years 428 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:11,680 Speaker 1: of charge to it, right. That's why, that's why when 429 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,480 Speaker 1: you begin to when you begin to talk about race, 430 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:20,120 Speaker 1: the charge feels the room before intellect does the charge. 431 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 1: White bodies think that their niceness and kindness is inadequate 432 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,760 Speaker 1: to deal with the feral nature of white supremacy and 433 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 1: white body supremacy. They think, as long as they're nice 434 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,680 Speaker 1: and they don't call me the inn word, and they 435 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:36,479 Speaker 1: and they look out for me and they send me 436 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:40,320 Speaker 1: thinking like like those things are inadequate response to the 437 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:44,040 Speaker 1: brutality of white supremacy and so but what they can't 438 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,440 Speaker 1: but they have not developed the culture, a collective culture 439 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,200 Speaker 1: that can hold the charge. That's why they break upart. 440 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,360 Speaker 1: That's why they start crying when you speak your truth. 441 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:54,960 Speaker 1: That's why they lose their f and mind when Colin 442 00:30:55,000 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 1: copperate Keepernick just kneels on the football field quietly, when 443 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:05,520 Speaker 1: when what sister Soaker says, I'm um, I don't want 444 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:09,040 Speaker 1: to do the press thing, and they they they, they 445 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 1: they try and rip her heart out right. That's because 446 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,920 Speaker 1: that's because that charge they they have, they don't have 447 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,440 Speaker 1: a culture that can actually hold it. They don't have 448 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:25,480 Speaker 1: a living, embodied anti racist culture. They have strategies. I know, 449 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,440 Speaker 1: I know, I just went off, but I just know 450 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:32,480 Speaker 1: this is so powerful. You they and let me say, 451 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,200 Speaker 1: let me just say one more thing. So I'm sorry, 452 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:38,480 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, no state things. So so let me say this, 453 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 1: all of your genius and all of your beauty and 454 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,160 Speaker 1: all of the and what I mean by beauty is 455 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,880 Speaker 1: what you bring to the try and bring to these things. 456 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 1: Let me say this to you. And I don't know 457 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,440 Speaker 1: how you're gonna here, but I just gotta say it. 458 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:57,160 Speaker 1: Don't let these people retrofit your genius into their bullshit. 459 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:09,040 Speaker 1: M m m hm. They will take little chunks of 460 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,840 Speaker 1: everything that you're doing and try and retrofit in. At 461 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:15,120 Speaker 1: the moment that they do that, they they they they 462 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:20,640 Speaker 1: they they thwart and retard the emergence that's possible. This 463 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,360 Speaker 1: is one of the reasons, like I was born and 464 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:30,480 Speaker 1: raised Baptists, but that religion and religion can't hold black 465 00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:34,480 Speaker 1: people in this in the way, in this emergent generative 466 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,360 Speaker 1: way that I'm talking They can't. It's Liam can't do it, 467 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:42,440 Speaker 1: Joga can't do it. It can't hold it because they 468 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,320 Speaker 1: are already parameters and containers around it. What I'm talking 469 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:52,800 Speaker 1: about is an emergent generative uh connection between us and 470 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:56,480 Speaker 1: so don't when you're when you're laying these jewels out, 471 00:32:56,920 --> 00:33:00,280 Speaker 1: don't let these folks take it and then tea years 472 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 1: from now, you'll have somebody using your and your words 473 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:07,680 Speaker 1: and your you won't be able to recognize it. Vibratorially, 474 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,920 Speaker 1: you won't be able to recogn Don't let them do that. 475 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,320 Speaker 1: And that's what they do. It is a it is 476 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:17,320 Speaker 1: a it is a colonization of ideas. Don't let them 477 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:29,160 Speaker 1: do that without being checked. It's rocking check. So the 478 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,760 Speaker 1: first things first, I would like to have a podcast 479 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,160 Speaker 1: that's just me and you that meets once a week 480 00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,800 Speaker 1: and we're gonna figure it out. We're gonna figure something out, 481 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:41,440 Speaker 1: because my god, I mean right now, literally resume, there 482 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,000 Speaker 1: are one hundred different conversations that I want to have 483 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:50,440 Speaker 1: with you. There's just so many pathways available. Um, you 484 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:54,760 Speaker 1: know where I would like to I would like to 485 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:58,040 Speaker 1: go backwards for a second. There. I want to speak 486 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 1: to this piece about being able to open your body 487 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:08,520 Speaker 1: to joy, being able to actually know what that feels 488 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,560 Speaker 1: like when it's being felt by you inside. Because I 489 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: think for so many of us, I'm someone that I'm 490 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,120 Speaker 1: a natural I've always been really this kind of natural, 491 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:24,359 Speaker 1: enthusiastic person. It's my natural programming, but also a byproduct 492 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:30,600 Speaker 1: of just forced resilience. And I didn't realize how disconnected 493 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:35,319 Speaker 1: I was body, even as someone who was practicing meditation, 494 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:39,399 Speaker 1: doing yoga, doing all I mean all kinds of processing 495 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:44,439 Speaker 1: for well over a decade. Cognitively, everything made so much 496 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,439 Speaker 1: sense and I was I healed what I could heal 497 00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:52,200 Speaker 1: with that ability. It wasn't until the last couple of 498 00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:56,040 Speaker 1: years resume that I actually came into the understanding that 499 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,239 Speaker 1: I did not live in my body. I actually was 500 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,920 Speaker 1: not press and in my body, and it led me 501 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,280 Speaker 1: to dig deeper and even know like there were actually 502 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:07,360 Speaker 1: patches of my body that were numb that I couldn't that. 503 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,320 Speaker 1: I was just like, even when I get a massage, 504 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:11,680 Speaker 1: like no, can you go harder? And I'd have these 505 00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:16,760 Speaker 1: massage there is telling me I massage men five times money, 506 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:22,120 Speaker 1: don't this hard? You know? Like, and I was like, really, 507 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:25,799 Speaker 1: I barely feel it. And that is and that was 508 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,200 Speaker 1: shocking to me to get that feedback that it was 509 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:31,800 Speaker 1: not natural to ask someone to like abuse you damn you, 510 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,720 Speaker 1: you know. And I couldn't feel it and I couldn't 511 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,239 Speaker 1: get relief in my body. I suffered from chronic pain 512 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,920 Speaker 1: for almost twenty years. I couldn't get it out of 513 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:44,879 Speaker 1: my body, and about two two to a half years ago, 514 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:50,279 Speaker 1: I really started to look at what is enthusiasm, what 515 00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:54,400 Speaker 1: is excitement, and what is actually embodied joy, what is 516 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:58,520 Speaker 1: a felt joy in myself? And it led me on 517 00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:02,600 Speaker 1: this journey of kim lately stripping my life, redeveloping my 518 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:06,960 Speaker 1: my spiritual practice. I haven't watched television, movies anything in 519 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:13,560 Speaker 1: two years. I dedicate every night to dancing, literally dancing 520 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:18,560 Speaker 1: with myself, going through ritual um even learning. I taught 521 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,600 Speaker 1: myself how to massage my myself, how to use different 522 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:27,480 Speaker 1: sugar points, having you know, routine ceremonial baths, like doing 523 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:32,080 Speaker 1: deep deep meditation. It literally has changed me in a way. 524 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:35,120 Speaker 1: Last night I broke down in tears at the thought 525 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,479 Speaker 1: of it, and I said, I don't recognize my life 526 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:42,080 Speaker 1: at all. What a blessing, What a blessing? And it 527 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,600 Speaker 1: was a life I thought was pretty damn good. Yeah, 528 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,439 Speaker 1: and I don't recognize it at all. And I am 529 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:52,480 Speaker 1: so grateful. I am so grateful to have found my 530 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,600 Speaker 1: body in a way that I don't I still don't 531 00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,759 Speaker 1: even have language around what that actually means and how 532 00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,879 Speaker 1: I feel it. But it's a it's the deepest level 533 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:06,000 Speaker 1: of liberation possible in life. That's it. That's it. This 534 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,439 Speaker 1: is you just said. The last piece that you just said, 535 00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:12,360 Speaker 1: I think is very profound that this work, this work, 536 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:17,920 Speaker 1: this this embodied work is liberatory. It is. It is 537 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,680 Speaker 1: a liberal it is it is it is about liberation. 538 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:26,960 Speaker 1: Is that? Um? Um? So so let me say this. 539 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:32,040 Speaker 1: So it is a relatively new occurrence, relatively new, sister DEVI. 540 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 1: That mean you could be on a call like this 541 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,600 Speaker 1: or talking like the way that we're talking and be 542 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,520 Speaker 1: somewhat sure that there's not a lynch party waiting outside 543 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:46,560 Speaker 1: our doors. That's a new occurrence. That's new, that is 544 00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:53,080 Speaker 1: not old, that is new, okay. So so so so 545 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:58,040 Speaker 1: when I hear you talk about rest and re re 546 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:01,520 Speaker 1: re re re reform in your life and going and 547 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,560 Speaker 1: noticing numbness and all that different type of stuff, you 548 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,600 Speaker 1: think that that's well, sometimes we think that that's okay, 549 00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:11,520 Speaker 1: that yeah, that's self. But but but it really is 550 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:18,640 Speaker 1: revolutionary for a black body to even begin to explore 551 00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:25,600 Speaker 1: the parameters of rest. Think about that, that is, that's 552 00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:31,560 Speaker 1: that's that's new. Right, And so you know the idea 553 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:34,719 Speaker 1: that the beautiful part about you saying that we are 554 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,120 Speaker 1: parts of your body is you didn't even know we're numb. 555 00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:40,480 Speaker 1: I want I want to just reframe that just a 556 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,400 Speaker 1: little bit, and I want to say that your body 557 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:47,080 Speaker 1: had protected parts of your body, your your the self 558 00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:51,640 Speaker 1: had protected parts of yourself that did not that could 559 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,640 Speaker 1: not at the time be available to the rest of 560 00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:59,200 Speaker 1: the world or even to yourself, because because had they been, 561 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,120 Speaker 1: they wouldn't might have in parts of you that I 562 00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:03,399 Speaker 1: might have been lost. And what I want to say 563 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:07,680 Speaker 1: to you is that that that is not a defect, 564 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:11,319 Speaker 1: that's protect I always say, you know, uh birds bird 565 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,279 Speaker 1: man says, put some respect on my name. When I said, 566 00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:18,200 Speaker 1: people put some respect on protect, right, put some respect 567 00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:21,960 Speaker 1: on it, right, And when you're ready two in the 568 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,040 Speaker 1: other pieces that some of the parts of the body 569 00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:28,560 Speaker 1: that that didn't or could not show up at the 570 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,160 Speaker 1: time may have not just been able to show up 571 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,279 Speaker 1: because of things that have happened to you in your 572 00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:37,799 Speaker 1: own personal experience, but they may actually be what I 573 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:43,319 Speaker 1: call um um traumatic pass downs. Right that if you 574 00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,400 Speaker 1: come from a people, no matter which line, but you 575 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,839 Speaker 1: come from a people whose bodies they could not be 576 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,279 Speaker 1: present with their bodies because to do so would bring 577 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:55,759 Speaker 1: so much horror and anguish that they might not have 578 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,879 Speaker 1: survived when you're getting raped for two and fifty years, 579 00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:03,480 Speaker 1: you better not be in your body. So what gets 580 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:07,719 Speaker 1: passed down over time is this constriction because as that 581 00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:11,760 Speaker 1: body is dealing with the brutality, there are also younger 582 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:15,280 Speaker 1: bodies that are connected to that that can't feel that body. 583 00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:19,640 Speaker 1: So then that gets passed down as personality, as culture, 584 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:23,480 Speaker 1: as But it's actually how we organize around the trauma. 585 00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,440 Speaker 1: So what I want to say to you is the 586 00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:28,920 Speaker 1: reason why you need to respect it is because the 587 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:32,480 Speaker 1: numbness may not only be yours, but it may be 588 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:37,360 Speaker 1: your ancestors. Yeah, that's why you have to slow it down. 589 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,279 Speaker 1: That's why you have to respect it. That's why you 590 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:43,040 Speaker 1: have to That's why you have to grieve and cry 591 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,360 Speaker 1: and rock and well not know where the funk is 592 00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,960 Speaker 1: coming from, right, That's why you have to do that, 593 00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:55,399 Speaker 1: because this stuff has charged to it. It was not 594 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:59,880 Speaker 1: safe for you to be in your body. For for historically, intergeneration, 595 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:04,239 Speaker 1: persistent instructionally, black people and brown people, Indigenous people do 596 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:09,359 Speaker 1: not suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. We suffer from 597 00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:22,600 Speaker 1: pervasive and persistent traumatic stress disorder. It's different. God, Joy, 598 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:26,840 Speaker 1: let me say just the joy pieces. The joy pieces 599 00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,879 Speaker 1: is that we're so busy looking for loud joy that 600 00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:35,040 Speaker 1: we can't hear faint joy. We haven't conditioned our bodies 601 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:38,200 Speaker 1: to hear faint joy. We haven't conditioned our bodies to 602 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:43,600 Speaker 1: hear and understand the faintness. That is a conditioning process. 603 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:45,799 Speaker 1: If I told you that I was that I was 604 00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:48,879 Speaker 1: thinking about running a marathon, and you said, okay, brother, yeah, 605 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,680 Speaker 1: that'd be cool, La la la, And then and you said, brother, 606 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:53,920 Speaker 1: when you're thinking about running this marathon, and I told 607 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,799 Speaker 1: you tomorrow, you don't need to know a whole lot 608 00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:58,600 Speaker 1: about me to know that there's a lot of pain 609 00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:01,920 Speaker 1: coming in my future. Why because I have a condition 610 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:05,000 Speaker 1: and prepped to be able to withstand the amount of 611 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,319 Speaker 1: brutality that I'm getting ready to put my body through. 612 00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,600 Speaker 1: This is the same thing you have to get reps in, 613 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,400 Speaker 1: you have to get invited, You have to rep and 614 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,520 Speaker 1: condition your body to be will be able to withhold 615 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:21,680 Speaker 1: and withstand not only the charge of of of racialized trauma, 616 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,839 Speaker 1: but also the charge of joy. I do I even 617 00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:28,760 Speaker 1: know what soft faint joy is? How do I understand 618 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:31,840 Speaker 1: the experience of it? If I don't begin to to 619 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:34,799 Speaker 1: to and in small doses get chunks of it, so 620 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:38,120 Speaker 1: I can let that my body metabolize it over time, 621 00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:40,200 Speaker 1: and then I take a little another little chunk and 622 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,840 Speaker 1: metabolize over time, so over time I can recognize what 623 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:48,319 Speaker 1: big joy is through my process of understanding faint joy. 624 00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:53,560 Speaker 1: Oh my God, resume. I wanna. I want to sink 625 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:56,920 Speaker 1: in right now and offer practice for everyone listening. What 626 00:42:57,040 --> 00:43:00,880 Speaker 1: you just said is um. Not only is it so powerful, 627 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,200 Speaker 1: but it's such deep confirmation for me and things that 628 00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:07,960 Speaker 1: God was really breadcrumbing and whispering to me over the 629 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:12,319 Speaker 1: last few years. Um, because that piece is really what 630 00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,200 Speaker 1: even started the rest of that journey I described to you. 631 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:18,600 Speaker 1: It was like I was like, okay, find tiny joy 632 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:23,480 Speaker 1: every day, find something tiny and something free that you 633 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:28,200 Speaker 1: actually let yourself savor. And that turned into for me saying, 634 00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,600 Speaker 1: oh wow, I love the way sunshine feels in my 635 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,880 Speaker 1: skin every time I noticed that the sun and I 636 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:37,280 Speaker 1: are connecting in some way. That's that for me is God. 637 00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:40,839 Speaker 1: That for me is joy. And as you shared, it's 638 00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:44,320 Speaker 1: like it it peppered me, it seasoned me. It prepared 639 00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:51,200 Speaker 1: really that grander like deeply authentic joy. I think a 640 00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:54,200 Speaker 1: lot of times in our community because there would be 641 00:43:54,280 --> 00:44:00,000 Speaker 1: so little opportunity to celebrate, so little opportunity to be unbound. 642 00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:05,319 Speaker 1: Did that it became about more grand celebrations. Every day 643 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,920 Speaker 1: that wasn't a grand celebration was more of like an endurance. 644 00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,360 Speaker 1: And so we're only used to like, yeah, let's set 645 00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:15,359 Speaker 1: each other, oh go go way to do it, you know, 646 00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:18,799 Speaker 1: like in these in these bigger things, or in holidays 647 00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:24,320 Speaker 1: or in the you know, family gatherings, reunions. But sometimes 648 00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:27,719 Speaker 1: that day to day depth it laughs in our households 649 00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:31,160 Speaker 1: and in the communities that did a witnessing of one another, 650 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,719 Speaker 1: and all of the smaller ways of overcoming or the 651 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:39,480 Speaker 1: smaller ways of embodying we don't always have the chance 652 00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,600 Speaker 1: to sink into. And so that is also one of 653 00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:45,479 Speaker 1: the barriers of why sometimes life doesn't feel like enough 654 00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:50,520 Speaker 1: even to a point with other healing where maybe it 655 00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,360 Speaker 1: should or you think it would. You know, it's some 656 00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,000 Speaker 1: of those kind of background things that are that are 657 00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,960 Speaker 1: happening and running, those apps that are running in the backroom. 658 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:06,160 Speaker 1: That's right, there's a so so so um so in 659 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:10,120 Speaker 1: my trauma work, um in my office. So so i've 660 00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:14,960 Speaker 1: i've i've sometimes like for a while, all that was 661 00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:20,520 Speaker 1: coming into my office were black women with um with 662 00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:28,040 Speaker 1: vaginal fibroid issues, chronic pain type stuff, right yeah and um. 663 00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,759 Speaker 1: And one of the things that I would talk with 664 00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:33,040 Speaker 1: them about because a lot of times when they would 665 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:35,640 Speaker 1: come into my office, it would be like almost this 666 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:42,120 Speaker 1: shame and grief and anguish around why you know, why 667 00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:46,600 Speaker 1: is this happening to me personally? Right like this this this, 668 00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:52,719 Speaker 1: this piece is so um um um. You know, you know, 669 00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:54,800 Speaker 1: my mama had it, my grandmama had right like the 670 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:59,759 Speaker 1: like these why do we have these things? And one 671 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:02,080 Speaker 1: of the things that that I used to work with 672 00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:06,239 Speaker 1: them on is this piece that I called scaffolding, right, 673 00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:08,800 Speaker 1: because a lot of times people come into my office 674 00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:12,840 Speaker 1: and they want they want an answer to a problem. 675 00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:16,160 Speaker 1: They want they want to know why something is happening. 676 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,040 Speaker 1: And one of the things that I say with with 677 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:22,960 Speaker 1: people is that let's begin to construct a scaffolding so 678 00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:27,359 Speaker 1: as the answers emerge, they can actually be held as 679 00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:32,120 Speaker 1: opposed to blown away or put aside. Right like you 680 00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,440 Speaker 1: you It's almost like the like you know, when you 681 00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,759 Speaker 1: get a vaccine, they give you a little bit of 682 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:39,799 Speaker 1: what might make you sick in order to to to 683 00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:44,720 Speaker 1: stir the bodies um immune response, right, and so that 684 00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:47,360 Speaker 1: that's a level of scaffolding. Right. If they give you 685 00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:49,960 Speaker 1: too much, you'll get sick, you could possibly die. If 686 00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,960 Speaker 1: they don't give you enough, it's not it's not effective, right. 687 00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:57,080 Speaker 1: But the scaffolding in terms of in terms of our 688 00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:00,800 Speaker 1: people and healing. I think a lot of times we 689 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:04,080 Speaker 1: we we give scaffold we we we think we're helping 690 00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:08,120 Speaker 1: people by giving them answers, but what we're not doing 691 00:47:08,239 --> 00:47:15,719 Speaker 1: is holding the scaffolding holder to container, holding the the 692 00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:21,000 Speaker 1: experience so as things begin to emerge up out of it. So, 693 00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,680 Speaker 1: so let me say so. One of the reasons why 694 00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:26,840 Speaker 1: we have to work with trauma, historical, inner generation, persistent, 695 00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:31,240 Speaker 1: institutional and personal traumas is that trauma is not primary. 696 00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:36,719 Speaker 1: Trauma is an energy. It is a thwarting energy. It 697 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:40,759 Speaker 1: is a thwarting energy that's designed to protect right and 698 00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:45,040 Speaker 1: so it is a constrictive energy. It is a shutting 699 00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:50,480 Speaker 1: down energy. We have to work with trauma individually and 700 00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:54,080 Speaker 1: communally in order to in order to work with the 701 00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:57,480 Speaker 1: loosening of it, realizing that there is protective that it's 702 00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,120 Speaker 1: going to come back and slam in what we do. 703 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,120 Speaker 1: A lot of times were healing and say let's get 704 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,960 Speaker 1: you open, let's just release everything, and let's just right. 705 00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,560 Speaker 1: And we don't realize that the protective parts of our 706 00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:11,080 Speaker 1: body won't allow that to won't allow that to stand. 707 00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:15,000 Speaker 1: So when people slam back, then we start saying ship like, well, 708 00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,239 Speaker 1: something there was must have been an underlying issue I 709 00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:19,920 Speaker 1: didn't know about or something we didn't get to, so 710 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,080 Speaker 1: you need to tell me more of your secrets. What 711 00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:25,200 Speaker 1: we start to put the blame inside of the body 712 00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,280 Speaker 1: as opposed to understanding that this is how it works. 713 00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,360 Speaker 1: So the reason why you have to work with it 714 00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:35,520 Speaker 1: over time is because as it loosens up, now what's 715 00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:39,839 Speaker 1: really primary, and that is joy, love and connection can 716 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:43,640 Speaker 1: start to emerge. It's already there, but it starts to 717 00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:47,640 Speaker 1: emerge as you loose it. But you also understand that 718 00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:51,399 Speaker 1: it's going to shut again. There's nothing going wrong when 719 00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:55,239 Speaker 1: that happens. Is part of the process, and that's why 720 00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:58,600 Speaker 1: you have to keep getting little pieces of it. That's 721 00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:02,799 Speaker 1: that builds the staff holding, that builds it, so overtime 722 00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:07,239 Speaker 1: you can begin to receive it more and then other 723 00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,600 Speaker 1: things began to a phone You go, oh, I thought 724 00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,440 Speaker 1: I already dealt with that shire this ship come back 725 00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,720 Speaker 1: around again, right, there's nothing going wrong when that happens. 726 00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:23,160 Speaker 1: That is that's how that's how creation works. Wow. And 727 00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:25,000 Speaker 1: that you know what comes forward when you say that 728 00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:33,760 Speaker 1: as well, the reinforcing of holding yourself as sacred, especially 729 00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:37,480 Speaker 1: as you are seeking out your healing and seeking out 730 00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:40,640 Speaker 1: your teachers and seeking out the modalities that will get 731 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:45,200 Speaker 1: you there, because that's also speaks to you know, there 732 00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:52,640 Speaker 1: is a spiritual science to healing. There's a spiritual science 733 00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:56,920 Speaker 1: to holding a container for others for yourself. And it's like, 734 00:49:57,560 --> 00:50:00,000 Speaker 1: you know, I don't believe. I don't believe in those 735 00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:05,120 Speaker 1: um spaces that are the style of yelling at someone 736 00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:07,520 Speaker 1: to heel, yelling at someone to get them out of 737 00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:12,400 Speaker 1: their limiting belief. Something that I've always loved that Deepox 738 00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:16,120 Speaker 1: says is that motivation is the lowest form of human inspiration. 739 00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:19,680 Speaker 1: And it's like trying to get someone to it's not 740 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:29,080 Speaker 1: a bar like this idea that you that you're going 741 00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:31,480 Speaker 1: to motivate somebody or or speak to them like a 742 00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:33,360 Speaker 1: drill sergeant in a way to get them out of 743 00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:37,480 Speaker 1: their own way. No, no, no, not for black and 744 00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:41,480 Speaker 1: brown bodies. Perhaps the fucking lutely not not. You have 745 00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:46,520 Speaker 1: had an ancestry and a history into the hundreds and 746 00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:50,600 Speaker 1: the thousands of years of the entire world treating you 747 00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:55,400 Speaker 1: like that. Everything you need and what you deserve is softness. 748 00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:59,160 Speaker 1: What you need and what you deserve is a gentle flow. 749 00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:02,759 Speaker 1: It is a gray east. It is a tenderness of 750 00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,719 Speaker 1: learning how to tend to self. You know, how to 751 00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:09,120 Speaker 1: be with self, how to touch self in every aspect 752 00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,880 Speaker 1: of the word. And it's like that space that you 753 00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,960 Speaker 1: were speaking to is another one of the ways that 754 00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:19,480 Speaker 1: I think we, without realizing it, become really unsafe in 755 00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:22,800 Speaker 1: our healing. Be careful who you allow to spend your life. 756 00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:27,200 Speaker 1: Be careful who you allow yourself to work with, because 757 00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:30,399 Speaker 1: who put you, who put their hands on you? Right, 758 00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:35,560 Speaker 1: be careful who put their hands on you. You know, 759 00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:40,799 Speaker 1: I say the people all the time. You know, sometimes 760 00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:45,520 Speaker 1: we're so one of the primary rubics of white body supremacy. 761 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:52,960 Speaker 1: One of the primary rubics rubrics is urgency. Right. That 762 00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:56,600 Speaker 1: is a that get it, do it fact but fast right. 763 00:51:56,800 --> 00:52:01,000 Speaker 1: That urgency has been interwoven so so one of the 764 00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:10,080 Speaker 1: things that happens is that we confuse vocation with virtue. 765 00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,680 Speaker 1: We think because somebody is a damn guru that that 766 00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:24,640 Speaker 1: automatically makes them virtuous. It does not. Police officers are 767 00:52:24,719 --> 00:52:32,480 Speaker 1: not virtuous. You bring virtue as a virtue emerges from you. 768 00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:37,920 Speaker 1: It doesn't happen because you put on a uniform. Wow. Yeah, right, 769 00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:41,799 Speaker 1: we get those things confused. And I think when you're 770 00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:47,040 Speaker 1: talking about communal work, right, a lot of the work 771 00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:50,440 Speaker 1: that I do with people communally is an emergent work. 772 00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:52,960 Speaker 1: It is not okay, you do this, you do this, 773 00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:55,520 Speaker 1: you turn around three times, you stretch this, you know, 774 00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:58,880 Speaker 1: you do you know, upward dog downward, whatever you do right, 775 00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:05,040 Speaker 1: you know, whatever, whatever it is right that there will 776 00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:09,239 Speaker 1: be things that come to you that if you're if 777 00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:12,439 Speaker 1: you that if you can only receive it in this 778 00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:16,200 Speaker 1: particular way, that thing that is supposed to come to 779 00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:20,960 Speaker 1: you will be truncated. Right, And so you have to 780 00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:25,560 Speaker 1: go slowly with this. You have to listen to when 781 00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:30,319 Speaker 1: that vibe comes up that I have a teacher, but 782 00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:36,040 Speaker 1: something's off. You don't automatically go to override in order 783 00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:38,640 Speaker 1: to in order to you know, we we go to 784 00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:42,120 Speaker 1: override a lot, well, override what's happening for ourselves, right, 785 00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:45,440 Speaker 1: our experiences, in order to stay in contact with another 786 00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:48,719 Speaker 1: human being. Right, it's what I call it's what it's. 787 00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:50,879 Speaker 1: It's a form of dirty pain. Right. In my book 788 00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:53,640 Speaker 1: I talked about clean pain and dirty pain. Dirty pain 789 00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:58,200 Speaker 1: is that pain that when stuff shows up, you override 790 00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:01,160 Speaker 1: it and move through it. You override it and get 791 00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:04,360 Speaker 1: around it. And clean pain is the pain as adults, 792 00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,759 Speaker 1: is the pain that you get when you say, I 793 00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:08,520 Speaker 1: don't know what I'm gonna do, but I know I'm 794 00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:14,080 Speaker 1: not doing that no more. That's cleaner, is still painful. 795 00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:16,720 Speaker 1: As adults, we don't get a choice between clean and dirty, 796 00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:19,759 Speaker 1: and so we go between pain and no pain. We 797 00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:23,400 Speaker 1: get the choice between clean and dirty right at each moment, 798 00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:27,319 Speaker 1: you know, the motivational So so the motivations did there's too. 799 00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:29,440 Speaker 1: So when I was in Afghanistan, you said to think 800 00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:34,000 Speaker 1: about softness, and I came from back from Afghanistan. One 801 00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:38,160 Speaker 1: of the things that my wife told me, um I 802 00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:40,560 Speaker 1: think it was. It was right around June, teams with 803 00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:42,200 Speaker 1: me and her were talking was giving to take the 804 00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:46,759 Speaker 1: kids someplace and uh we had I had been back 805 00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:54,840 Speaker 1: from Afghanistan for uh maybe two years, and she stopped 806 00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:59,920 Speaker 1: me and she goes, you know, before we go out 807 00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:02,160 Speaker 1: I just I gotta say something you And I'm like, 808 00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:06,240 Speaker 1: what she says, ever since you've been back, I can't 809 00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:12,160 Speaker 1: feel you, Oh wow. And I was like, what are 810 00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:15,200 Speaker 1: you talking me? You can't feel me that you know. 811 00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:17,920 Speaker 1: Of course that turned into a thing because you know, 812 00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:21,520 Speaker 1: and then and then and then um, she goes, you 813 00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:30,440 Speaker 1: are not there's no softness to you anymore. And you know, 814 00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:33,200 Speaker 1: I was like, and I knew it because you know, 815 00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:36,040 Speaker 1: I had when I got back with suicidal stuff, all 816 00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:43,680 Speaker 1: this stuff that um and uh, the idea of cultivating 817 00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,800 Speaker 1: softness at that time when I was going through it 818 00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:50,200 Speaker 1: is a non starter. It wouldn't have like if somebody 819 00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:52,440 Speaker 1: as people were talking, like as people were talking to 820 00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:55,560 Speaker 1: me about softness, it was a nonstarter. And I'm glad 821 00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:58,399 Speaker 1: people were talking to me about softness, right, you see 822 00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:01,120 Speaker 1: what I mean? Like I couldn't there's nothing I could 823 00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:04,760 Speaker 1: do with it at that time at that time, right, 824 00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:10,719 Speaker 1: but the table it was available in the buffet. That's like, 825 00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:14,960 Speaker 1: that's exactly right, that's exactly right. And so I so 826 00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:17,120 Speaker 1: one of the only way and this is gonna sound 827 00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:20,000 Speaker 1: different to you, the only way that I was able 828 00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:23,680 Speaker 1: to condition myself to be able to kind of get 829 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:26,720 Speaker 1: to a place to where I could invite the idea 830 00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:30,120 Speaker 1: of more softness of vulnerability, and was to listen to 831 00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:36,480 Speaker 1: motivational tapes. Like I was so hardened that and for 832 00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:38,880 Speaker 1: some of us, that's what has to happen. You're so 833 00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:45,719 Speaker 1: hardened and you're so you're so protective, right, that softness 834 00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:48,239 Speaker 1: ain't gonna be able to get in. Softness comes on 835 00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:51,520 Speaker 1: the back end, not the front end, right, and so 836 00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:55,040 Speaker 1: and so for me, like people like CT Fletcher and 837 00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:59,080 Speaker 1: people like David Goggins and and and and Inky Johnson 838 00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:02,560 Speaker 1: and Eric you know, the hip hop like people like 839 00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:09,279 Speaker 1: that I had, they were so like right that that 840 00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:11,080 Speaker 1: was the only thing that I could take. That was 841 00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:14,400 Speaker 1: the only experience that And then but I had enough 842 00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:17,200 Speaker 1: to me and enough people around me that would say 843 00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:20,800 Speaker 1: the soft things that as I began to loosen a 844 00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:24,560 Speaker 1: little bit, that maybe that the a little bit of 845 00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:27,600 Speaker 1: the grass blade could come up just a little bit, right, 846 00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:30,040 Speaker 1: And I could tolerate that for a period of time, 847 00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:33,240 Speaker 1: keep listening to my motivational tapes. But but people think 848 00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:36,960 Speaker 1: that motivational motivation and motivational tapes are end all and 849 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:41,760 Speaker 1: be all. They are not for across Yeah, yeah, Yeah, 850 00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:45,040 Speaker 1: that is a hundred percent a piece because motivation. We 851 00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:48,560 Speaker 1: have to we have to motivate ourselves to be willing 852 00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:52,720 Speaker 1: to change. That is a necessary part of the spiritual curriculum. 853 00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:56,240 Speaker 1: But we can't stop at having him turned on a little. 854 00:57:56,400 --> 00:58:00,880 Speaker 1: We can't stop, you know. It's like you have to 855 00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:04,200 Speaker 1: you have to keep going into the peace where the 856 00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:10,200 Speaker 1: only way radical change, the only way cellular healing come 857 00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:13,840 Speaker 1: it is from the deepest level of inspiration. God is 858 00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:17,160 Speaker 1: God is inspiration. When I say inspiration, I mean the 859 00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:20,800 Speaker 1: experience of God in yourself and in your life. That 860 00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,120 Speaker 1: is the only way that that will actually be an 861 00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:27,720 Speaker 1: embodied change. Start. Motivation is a powerful to You gotta 862 00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:31,440 Speaker 1: get up. You got to get up out of the 863 00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:35,360 Speaker 1: proverbial bay and eat on the ground and go that's it. 864 00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:39,200 Speaker 1: To sustain it, to sustain it, to transform it, to 865 00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:42,480 Speaker 1: alcimize it into that that's it. It has to get 866 00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:44,840 Speaker 1: moved to that depth of inspiration. That's it. That's it, 867 00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:47,200 Speaker 1: and that takes time. People think that you go to 868 00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:54,720 Speaker 1: a damn workshop and that's it. There are things you're 869 00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:57,160 Speaker 1: gonna learn about yourself. It's what I call the suffering's 870 00:58:57,280 --> 00:59:00,120 Speaker 1: edge that you gotta get sometimes you gotta get is 871 00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:08,360 Speaker 1: the suffering's edge before you even know what life is. Yeah. Yeah, 872 00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:13,120 Speaker 1: I'm sitting in my car, you know, got a new, 873 00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:17,480 Speaker 1: brand new car back from Afghanistan. Bills are paid, doing good, 874 00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:20,280 Speaker 1: and I'm sitting in my car with my glock nine 875 00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:24,120 Speaker 1: millimeter or my nine millimeter, sitting in the any other seat, 876 00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:29,800 Speaker 1: just like in the parking lot. And um and I'm 877 00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:33,720 Speaker 1: a and I'm a trauma therapy right and I'm and 878 00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:37,840 Speaker 1: I'm sitting there like that that you better, you better, 879 00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:43,520 Speaker 1: You better learn how to slow it down and work 880 00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:46,160 Speaker 1: with the slowing down and work with the uncomfortableness of 881 00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:51,480 Speaker 1: slowing it down. Um uh. And that involves getting to 882 00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:54,680 Speaker 1: your suffering's edge, getting to those places that you have 883 00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:58,720 Speaker 1: been unwilling is what I call rug therapy. Rug therapy is, 884 00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:02,160 Speaker 1: you know, when you're in a relationship with somebody, you 885 01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:05,720 Speaker 1: sweep a lot of ship under the rug. Right, rud 886 01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:08,200 Speaker 1: therapy is going up underneath it and actually looking at 887 01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:15,680 Speaker 1: all that shift you just slept. Lets use that's right theory. 888 01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:19,720 Speaker 1: Rod therapy is not for weak people. The only thing 889 01:00:19,760 --> 01:00:22,720 Speaker 1: that makes you ready for long term relationships and marriage 890 01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:26,000 Speaker 1: is marriage and long term relationships anybody that tells you 891 01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:29,200 Speaker 1: any different. They try to sell you some snake oil. 892 01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:35,080 Speaker 1: This this you marriage and long term relationships are people 893 01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:43,440 Speaker 1: growing machines? Oh wow, yeah yeah yeah, so divine marrying yea, 894 01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:51,360 Speaker 1: So I I have one million more talking points and questions. 895 01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:55,200 Speaker 1: I actually did not even get to my first question. 896 01:00:55,760 --> 01:01:02,200 Speaker 1: But we are out of times, alright, alright. That just 897 01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:06,000 Speaker 1: means we gotta do this again. Oh my brother, we 898 01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:11,880 Speaker 1: have to. I my god, I am. I am so 899 01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:18,560 Speaker 1: grateful for you. Everyone, everyone, everyone, Please do yourself this 900 01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:22,120 Speaker 1: high act of service and spend time with resumes work. 901 01:01:22,400 --> 01:01:24,800 Speaker 1: You can connect with him on Instagram. His New York 902 01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:27,880 Speaker 1: Times bestselling book that will change your life is called 903 01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:31,360 Speaker 1: My Grandmother's Hands. It is available everywhere. Get it next 904 01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:35,400 Speaker 1: day delivery via Prime on Amazon. You can be reading 905 01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:38,800 Speaker 1: this by tomorrow, um or anywhere else that you get 906 01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:43,880 Speaker 1: your books. But this and spend time running this episode back. 907 01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:46,560 Speaker 1: I want you to write down any terminology we brought 908 01:01:46,600 --> 01:01:51,280 Speaker 1: forward that isn't clear in this moment, and spend time 909 01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:55,880 Speaker 1: looking it up. You know, really, spend some time investigating, adding, 910 01:01:56,040 --> 01:02:01,479 Speaker 1: adding somatic, experiencing adding this somatic practice will change your 911 01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:05,400 Speaker 1: existence and will change the existence of your lineage, the 912 01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:08,640 Speaker 1: children that come from you, the children that come from them. 913 01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:11,640 Speaker 1: So take a little time google it, look some things up, 914 01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:14,440 Speaker 1: and as a little soul work. This is what I 915 01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:16,400 Speaker 1: like to give everyone. At the end of the episode, 916 01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:19,400 Speaker 1: um and resume. I would love to invite you to 917 01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:24,120 Speaker 1: share some soul work and embodied practice of somatic practice 918 01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:28,120 Speaker 1: or an observation of self that everyone can spend some 919 01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:33,280 Speaker 1: time with today or over the weekend. Well, we've we've 920 01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:37,000 Speaker 1: been actually doing it through the whole episode, through through 921 01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:42,680 Speaker 1: this whole thing, and that is pause. Just pause. You 922 01:02:42,720 --> 01:02:44,400 Speaker 1: don't have to do it. You don't even have to 923 01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:49,040 Speaker 1: hold the pause for longer than than three seconds. Just pause, 924 01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:57,160 Speaker 1: but do it consistently for from now. Just notice yourself 925 01:02:57,240 --> 01:03:01,600 Speaker 1: pausing your name. Be curious about what emerges as you 926 01:03:01,760 --> 01:03:05,360 Speaker 1: notice there is a when we pause. One of the 927 01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:10,880 Speaker 1: things that we have to contend with is the vierial quaking. 928 01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:14,880 Speaker 1: That's why most of us don't pause. And I'm not 929 01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:17,560 Speaker 1: talking about I'm not talking about meditation. I'm talking about 930 01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:21,120 Speaker 1: literally pausing just for a second or two or three, 931 01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:27,600 Speaker 1: and keep doing that throughout your days. Just that I 932 01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:29,400 Speaker 1: don't here, I don't need to tell you nothing else. 933 01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:33,440 Speaker 1: If you do that and begin to notice what starts 934 01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:39,200 Speaker 1: to emerge or what constricts right, that's the practice. I 935 01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:43,400 Speaker 1: talked about it as practices, not as not as exercises, 936 01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:50,600 Speaker 1: as practice practices. Yes, yes, yes, yes, and people can 937 01:03:50,640 --> 01:03:52,920 Speaker 1: People can reach me at resume dot com or E 938 01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:58,480 Speaker 1: S m a a dot com dot com. Everyone spend 939 01:03:58,520 --> 01:04:01,320 Speaker 1: time there. Take a moment after you do your pause 940 01:04:01,400 --> 01:04:05,200 Speaker 1: practice and journal a little bit and perhaps use the 941 01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:09,560 Speaker 1: prompt of how do I relate to my body? And 942 01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:12,120 Speaker 1: see where that takes you. If you started journaling there 943 01:04:12,160 --> 01:04:15,560 Speaker 1: and you you create the intention of having an awareness 944 01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:18,680 Speaker 1: around how do I relate to my body? That will 945 01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:21,320 Speaker 1: lead you to understanding how am I using my body? 946 01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:23,840 Speaker 1: How do I experience my body? How do I feel 947 01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:27,480 Speaker 1: my body? How do I share my body? And just 948 01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:30,160 Speaker 1: start to observe and the answers will start to pour 949 01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:35,760 Speaker 1: in resuma dot com. My grandmother's hands available everywhere Resma. 950 01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:43,000 Speaker 1: I am I am so, so, so so grateful for 951 01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:45,520 Speaker 1: your life. I am grateful for your wisdom. I am 952 01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:50,440 Speaker 1: so grateful that you answered your divine calling and you 953 01:04:50,520 --> 01:04:53,240 Speaker 1: answered it when you did. Oh my God, thank you 954 01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:56,240 Speaker 1: for your life's work. Thank you for your healing. Thank 955 01:04:56,240 --> 01:04:58,760 Speaker 1: you for your commitment to your own healing which allows 956 01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:01,720 Speaker 1: you to help all the rest of us on our journeys. 957 01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:06,320 Speaker 1: I love you, my brother, I am and not wait 958 01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:13,840 Speaker 1: to be with you again. Big love. Hey find me 959 01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:18,400 Speaker 1: on social Let's connect at Debbie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram, 960 01:05:18,560 --> 01:05:21,960 Speaker 1: or go to my website Debbie Brown dot com. And 961 01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:25,000 Speaker 1: if you're listening to the show on Apple Podcasts, please 962 01:05:25,120 --> 01:05:31,760 Speaker 1: please please don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe and 963 01:05:31,800 --> 01:05:34,880 Speaker 1: send this episode to a friend. Dropping Jim's is the 964 01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:37,600 Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect Network. 965 01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:41,360 Speaker 1: It's produced by Jack Queas and me, Debbie Brown. For 966 01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:44,080 Speaker 1: more podcasts from My Heart Radio, visit the I Heart 967 01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:47,720 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 968 01:05:47,720 --> 01:05:48,480 Speaker 1: favorite shows.