Speaker 1: You sit down at a restaurant and and they come
Speaker 1: up to you to order drinks, and you look at it.
Speaker 1: What do you get it? What the fund do you care?
Speaker 1: When I'm getting what does that have to do? I'm
Speaker 1: getting arsenic and soda with a line like it's like,
Speaker 1: it's so weird if I get water, now you have
Speaker 1: to get water. You can't get wine. If you want wine,
Speaker 1: get wine? Do you not know what? You want to
Speaker 1: get a margarita? I live your own life. If I
Speaker 1: get a margarita? Is that going to make it taste
Speaker 1: different to you? I never understand it. It's like what
Speaker 1: are you what are you wearing tonight? A scuba suit?
Speaker 1: And and like you know, you saw, you know where
Speaker 1: we're going, you know the invitation. It's just like interesting,
Speaker 1: what I understand? What are you getting in food? Because
Speaker 1: what are you getting indicates we could possibly have a
Speaker 1: little deal here where we share, where there's some tasting
Speaker 1: going back and forth. But we're not like slopping. You know,
Speaker 1: we're not swapping spit with our drinks, and you're certainly're
Speaker 1: not wearing half of my clothes, so it doesn't necessarily matter.
Speaker 1: And I know it's like because you don't want to
Speaker 1: feel overdressed underdressed, But I don't think what the other
Speaker 1: person next to you was wearing has anything to do
Speaker 1: with if you're underdressed or overdressed. Has to do with
Speaker 1: where you're going. And by the way, everywhere everything goes.
Speaker 1: Now it's so funny. Unless you're a black tie event
Speaker 1: wearing jeans, it feels like everything goes. But I just
Speaker 1: think I always laughed at someone's like, wait, what are
Speaker 1: you getting? And then we have the same menu and
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I don't know, I'm getting a BlackBerry
Speaker 1: mescal margarita. What are you go? Okay, I'll get that too.
Speaker 1: It's hysterical. It doesn't make any sense. My number one
Speaker 1: goal guest is Anna wint Or just want to say
Speaker 1: it out loud. I just I think she's at the
Speaker 1: top of my list. I'm reading the book Anna, a
Speaker 1: woman named Amy O'Dell wrote it, and I hesitate to
Speaker 1: say this because there have been other people in business
Speaker 1: that I see similarities two in myself, and it's not
Speaker 1: always positive the other person. I'll tell you another time,
Speaker 1: but I saw many similarities in the way that Anna
Speaker 1: thinks about an approach is work in her work ethic
Speaker 1: in her being the first one there and the last
Speaker 1: one working, in the way she thinks about things, and
Speaker 1: that she's not that big on small talk. It's just
Speaker 1: it is what it is. It's very clear cut to her.
Speaker 1: So I um, I want nothing from her. I can
Speaker 1: benefit not whatsoever from her. I just want to meet her.
Speaker 1: I really do. I just and I don't say that
Speaker 1: about anybody. I know so many celebrities, and I turned
Speaker 1: down lunches and dinners and vacations, and I just don't care.
Speaker 1: I cared. I just I think Anna Wintour is kind
Speaker 1: of the HB I C of all the h B
Speaker 1: I C s. I honestly do. Also New Year maybe
Speaker 1: same us. UM. I want to talk about noise because
Speaker 1: noise is really something many people deal with. People deal
Speaker 1: with food noise. I was good, I didn't eat, I
Speaker 1: was bad. I ate, or I feel fat or I
Speaker 1: don't look in these pants or all of that is
Speaker 1: related to food. I was binging is food noise, and
Speaker 1: that's it's just something you're gonna have to learn how
Speaker 1: to turn to a food voice. And that happens later
Speaker 1: with life. If you can jump on it earlier, it's wonderful.
Speaker 1: That's why I wrote the book Naturally Thin, which was
Speaker 1: so successful because it really it really handled and dealt
Speaker 1: with people's food noise, people with exercise noise, money noise,
Speaker 1: money noise. I bought that shouldn' about that? I feel guilty.
Speaker 1: Do I have enough? I'm counting how much I have?
Speaker 1: How much do I owe? What am I making? Like?
Speaker 1: You can't enjoy, you can't be present, you can't have it,
Speaker 1: you can't be in a in a nice relationship with that.
Speaker 1: And family noise like you you you you're noisy about
Speaker 1: your family, either you're embarrassed or you're around them and
Speaker 1: they trigger you and you can't have a voice about it.
Speaker 1: It's just something to start thinking about this year, because
Speaker 1: many areas are noisy for many people, and it's great
Speaker 1: to get a handle on where you're the most noisy
Speaker 1: and work at that. Let me tell you something very
Speaker 1: respected in business, and it's the opposite of what you
Speaker 1: would think. I like when people tell me that they
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know. I don't know what to
Speaker 1: do about this. I have no experience in this. I
Speaker 1: don't know what this is. People are inclined to pretend
Speaker 1: that they know everything because they're afraid that if they
Speaker 1: don't know something, it seems like they're incompetent. You know what,
Speaker 1: I'm afraid of somebody who is disloyal, who cannot be trusted,
Speaker 1: and who doesn't work hard. That's what I'm afraid of.
Speaker 1: I'm not afraid of someone not knowing something. Someone who
Speaker 1: can be trusted, who is loyal, and who works hard,
Speaker 1: saying to me, I don't know, but I'll figure it out.
Speaker 1: Then you know that somebody knows what they don't know.
Speaker 1: Because what I've had happened. I've had people. I kind
Speaker 1: of was in the beginning of this monetizing reality TV space,
Speaker 1: in the beginning of agencies representing people that had a
Speaker 1: whole new revenue stream that wasn't being an actor and
Speaker 1: author a writer. It was this new revenue stream of
Speaker 1: brands being involved with someone for being a personality, for
Speaker 1: have a platform on reality television. It was a new space,
Speaker 1: and I remember having an agent that was very into me,
Speaker 1: you know, very very good and worked hard and great.
Speaker 1: But because we were dealing with new things, new deals,
Speaker 1: new thing new business concepts that no one had ever
Speaker 1: dealt with before. Because we were creating new case law
Speaker 1: in a new area of business, and he was really green.
Speaker 1: He wanted me to think so I wouldn't leave him,
Speaker 1: you know, because I was very in demand and successful.
Speaker 1: He wanted me to think. And many agents and many
Speaker 1: lawyers are like this. They wanted me to think that
Speaker 1: he knew it all. And whenever I get into business
Speaker 1: with people, I always say, it's okay if you don't know,
Speaker 1: just tell me you don't know. If I think you're
Speaker 1: a hard worker and you're smart, we'll figure that together.
Speaker 1: But if we if we don't know, we can say, okay,
Speaker 1: well this seems interesting, and then we came massage it
Speaker 1: and talk about it and crowdsourced and worked the problem.
Speaker 1: But someone acting like they know too much and they
Speaker 1: actually don't is really damaging because you're going in the
Speaker 1: wrong direction and you don't know. You think you're driving
Speaker 1: in a car with someone who knows where the fun
Speaker 1: they're going. I'd rather be like, Okay, let's stop, we
Speaker 1: don't know where we're going, let's look at the map,
Speaker 1: let's call someone, let's put the you know, the GPS on,
Speaker 1: and we will figure it out together. But someone just
Speaker 1: getting in the I got it driving in the wrong
Speaker 1: direction is not helping anybody. So it's okay to know
Speaker 1: what you don't know and to convey that in a confident,
Speaker 1: positive and constructive manner. I think over the holidays, this
Speaker 1: made me think of something that people might find familiar.
Speaker 1: I had an issue with a friend over the holidays
Speaker 1: where historically I've tolerated something from them that I just
Speaker 1: will not tolerate now. And it scares people. For you
Speaker 1: to stand your ground and stick up for yourself around
Speaker 1: people when you have never done it, it's jarring for them.
Speaker 1: So someone spoke to me in a way that was
Speaker 1: completely disrespectful and demoralizing, and I this this person lashes out,
Speaker 1: and this is part of their personality that when they
Speaker 1: feel challenging any way, if you don't like something they've done,
Speaker 1: or you just rationally say I don't like what you
Speaker 1: just said, they go to the mattresses like they go
Speaker 1: to the mattress and say something nasty. There are people
Speaker 1: on Housewives that have that same switch. I grew up
Speaker 1: in a house with that switch existed. The switches like
Speaker 1: you say to someone, you know what, I really am
Speaker 1: not comfortable with you speaking to me that way, and
Speaker 1: they're like, really, blah blah that you and they go
Speaker 1: they go below the belt immediately and people do this
Speaker 1: who drink, and I've experienced this on and off television,
Speaker 1: so over the holidays. I did not accept that. Not
Speaker 1: only did I say it's not acceptable where you're speaking
Speaker 1: to me, but then when the lash out, the snap,
Speaker 1: the switch one off, I I left the dynamic. I
Speaker 1: I really said, I don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 1: And I don't know that I'll never be have a
Speaker 1: relationship this person anymore. But I basically just stood up
Speaker 1: for myself. And the first thought that I had was
Speaker 1: being proud of myself just because I didn't get hysterical.
Speaker 1: I wasn't rude. I don't go to the mats. It's
Speaker 1: funny because I talk about people on social media, um
Speaker 1: and I don't talk about their physical appearance. And I
Speaker 1: don't go to the I don't go to the mattresses.
Speaker 1: I will just say what I feel and people will say, oh,
Speaker 1: you bully Megan. I've never bullied Megan. I said she
Speaker 1: could screw U, direct dream and crime a river. That
Speaker 1: is not That is my summation of an event that
Speaker 1: is not attacking someone's physical appearance. Or character and I'm
Speaker 1: very literally I hate when people It's why I did
Speaker 1: well in the house was when people miss characterize something.
Speaker 1: It drives me nut. It's like, yah, know, that's not bullying.
Speaker 1: You better get the definition book out of bullying because
Speaker 1: that's a misdiagnosed bullying. So anyway, I was proud of
Speaker 1: myself because I just rationally and in a straightforward way,
Speaker 1: I said this is I'm not accepting this and then said,
Speaker 1: what you doing that has more to do with you
Speaker 1: than me. And it's what I tell my daughter. Look
Speaker 1: in the mirror. You should not be looking over here.
Speaker 1: And there's nothing I have to say. I'm clean, and
Speaker 1: I felt good. When you handle a situation clean, you
Speaker 1: feel good. And it made me realize that it's called
Speaker 1: it's dynamics. You have dynamics with family members. They've always
Speaker 1: been the same, and you say, oh, they're just like that,
Speaker 1: or they're negative, or this person is unhappy or they
Speaker 1: don't feel well or they're in a bad marriage or
Speaker 1: whatever the situation is. And you accept behavior that you
Speaker 1: shouldn't be accepting. And there's a way to do it,
Speaker 1: not fighting and lashing out. And I should have told
Speaker 1: you this in November twenty before Thanksgiving and Christmas. But
Speaker 1: it's a new year, so it's a good resolution. It's
Speaker 1: basically just to not accept less than what you deserve,
Speaker 1: and the means by which you convey that is just yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that is not an acceptable way to speak. And I'm
Speaker 1: extricating myself in the situation. On this conversation, you'd be
Speaker 1: shocked by how freaked out people get. It makes them
Speaker 1: turn the mirror right on themselves. They just they just
Speaker 1: become so uncomfortable. If you start lashing out and responding
Speaker 1: and reacting, that will be different. But if you just
Speaker 1: do not accept the same dynamics in relationships with families
Speaker 1: and friendships, you'll be shocked at how well that works.
Speaker 1: M