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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that invented Hollywood's hottest new cosmetic procedure,

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Speaker 1: spider plastic, where you swap out your two arms for

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Speaker 1: four extra legs so you can walk the red carpet

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Speaker 1: like an arachnid with attitude. Get your free consultation with

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Speaker 1: Laser Stories, their segment where we read weird news stories

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Speaker 1: around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've

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Speaker 1: got a laser. Those other Webby Downers just don't this

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Speaker 1: first Laser Stories out of North Carolina, Ashley Class and

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Speaker 1: her husband own a picturesque farmhouse out in the country.

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Speaker 1: Not too long ago, their three year old daughter had

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Speaker 1: started to complain about monsters in the wall.

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Speaker 2: Poor baby.

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Speaker 3: She had just watched the Pixar film Monsters Inc. Okay,

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Speaker 3: so her parents thought it was just the little girl's

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Speaker 3: imagination running wild.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, I watched that when my kids were

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Speaker 4: todd there's a new scarier that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my bad.

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Speaker 3: So they gave her a little squirt bottle with water

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Speaker 3: in it and told her it was monster spray to

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Speaker 3: keep them away.

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Speaker 5: I don't even have kids. The thing is, it didn't work.

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Speaker 3: She became more and more insistent there was something in

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Speaker 3: her closet.

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Speaker 5: Eight months later, they finally found out what it was.

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Speaker 5: They waited.

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Speaker 3: Sixty thousand honeybees were living in the walls and.

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Speaker 5: Ceiling in the little girl's room.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I say, sixty thousand.

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Speaker 5: This is where nightmares come from.

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Speaker 4: Bees.

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Speaker 2: So when do you apologize to your little girl? Like, well,

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Speaker 2: so sorry about that.

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Speaker 5: You were wrong. They're not monsters, They're just bugs.

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Speaker 3: So the insects had spent eight months building a monster high.

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Speaker 5: When the workers.

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Speaker 3: Opened up the wall, it revealed a one hundred pound

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Speaker 3: honeycomb behind it.

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Speaker 5: City skyscraper in there.

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Speaker 2: Did you imagine what her room must have sounded like?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 5: Yes, buzzy and just smelled like honey.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Luckily a beekeeper was able to safely remove most

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Speaker 3: of the bees and take him to a honeybee sanctuary.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's awesome.

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Speaker 3: Unfortunately, the houses electrical wiring was damaged and insurance wouldn't

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Speaker 3: cover it, and their pairs cost the family around twenty

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Speaker 3: thousand dollars. But their little girl is sleeping much better

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Speaker 3: now that the monsters are finally gone.

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Speaker 4: And she's like, hey, if you would have looked into

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Speaker 4: this seven months ago.

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Speaker 5: This next Leazer Stories out of the open roads.

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Speaker 3: If you have spaghetti phobia, your morning commute could become

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Speaker 3: even more of a mind feet.

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Speaker 2: Is that the technical term?

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Speaker 5: I think so.

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Speaker 3: I say that because last week there was a story

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Speaker 3: about road rage where a woman threw spaghetti at another car.

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Speaker 5: You remember talking about that.

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Speaker 4: Well, do you think it was her lunch? Did we

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Speaker 4: ever find out why she had spaghetti in the car?

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Speaker 5: You always need spaghetti in the car.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's four road rays, yeah right, yeah, the car.

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Speaker 2: Just in case.

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Speaker 5: Now there's this happening.

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Speaker 3: A forty six year old man in Florida named Nolan

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Speaker 3: Goins got into a road rage incident recently over glaring headlights.

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Speaker 4: I will say, some of the new especially the electric cars,

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Speaker 4: like those led lights are just like, oh my.

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Speaker 5: So stick to gas cars here.

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Speaker 2: Even the gases.

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Speaker 3: According to the police report, Nolan was so upset he

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Speaker 3: threw pasta with red sauce from the passenger seat of

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Speaker 3: his vehicle, striking another driver through his open window.

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Speaker 4: The pasta is that that really is a thing?

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Speaker 5: Is it like pasta first, then ladle, then throw.

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Speaker 4: The I think it's all together not a deconstructed pasta.

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Speaker 3: Tell me, tell me when the pasta hit the victim

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Speaker 3: in the arms.

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Speaker 5: Legs and torso. But disappointment, true tragedy. Nolan also got

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Speaker 5: the spaghetti on himself. Neither man was seriously injured.

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Speaker 3: Afterwards, he was charged with misdemeanor battery, got booked into

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Speaker 3: the county jail.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, weapon of choice.

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Speaker 3: If you're wondering, He's not an Italian chef. Nolan is

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Speaker 3: a painting contractor whose rap sheet includes convictions for selling drugs, obstruction,

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Speaker 3: and battery with basil or garlic mix.

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Speaker 5: Step.

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Speaker 2: At least he didn't try to smoke the basil.

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Speaker 5: I guess, yeah, Kevin Bellish on that last one.

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Speaker 3: A little let's go to your next laser story out

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Speaker 3: of food news.

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Speaker 2: He's already been there.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, even better food news.

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Speaker 3: Each day, it seems as if we get closer to

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Speaker 3: human employees being completely replaced by artificial intelligence, and.

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Speaker 2: We don't want this, Jeff, this isn't good news.

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Speaker 5: Is that like a bad thing?

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Speaker 3: And we know this because a video from a Wendy's

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Speaker 3: drive through was recently posted a TikTok where it got

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Speaker 3: more than thirteen point six million views.

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Speaker 2: They're using AI at the drive through.

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Speaker 3: The person at the drive through was shocked to find

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Speaker 3: out she had to tell her order to an AI.

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Speaker 5: Rather than a person, and here's how it went.

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Speaker 2: Would you like can I have a chocolate frosty?

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Speaker 5: Which size for the chocolate?

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Speaker 2: FASTI?

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Speaker 1: Medium?

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Speaker 2: Can't get you anything else today? No?

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Speaker 3: Thank you?

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Speaker 2: Please pull up to the next window. WHOA, I don't

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Speaker 2: like that at all.

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Speaker 5: I know only forty five seconds to order a medium. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: I'm way more annoying than we realize.

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Speaker 2: Yes, spit it out. Yeah, I know it makes It

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Speaker 2: gives me road rate anxiety.

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Speaker 3: Unsurprisingly, the video went super viral, and for good reason.

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Speaker 3: For many people, fast food is their first job that

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Speaker 3: they ever had.

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Speaker 2: It's my first job.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but the burger Burger Heaven.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Burger Heaven. May I take your order?

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Speaker 5: I like better?

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Speaker 3: Wendy sent out a press release saying it's artificial intelligence

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Speaker 3: can understand casual conversation and customize orders to your specifications.

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Speaker 3: That means it can alter its respect in real time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: It's already been launched at four locations in Ohio and

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Speaker 3: has since expanded to other cities. You're probably gonna see

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Speaker 3: one in yours coming up the search.

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Speaker 4: Pricing AI I used to Yeah, well that's to do

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Speaker 4: the searge pricing.

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Speaker 2: It's not cheap to get AI.

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Speaker 5: This next Lazer story is out of survey Land.

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Speaker 3: Recent poll asked thousands of gen zers to name the

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Speaker 3: most outdated acronyms they think are cringe now. For example,

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Speaker 3: lol is number one, of course, Jeff. Yeah, if you

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Speaker 3: text it to someone in their early twenties, they're gonna

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Speaker 3: think you're.

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Speaker 5: A boomer, even if you're not totally.

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Speaker 3: Here's the other outdated terms and what a gen zer

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Speaker 3: might say instead. Number five instead of yolo, right, dift

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Speaker 3: tip DFTP, it means do it for the plot.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 3: The idea is you're the main character in your life,

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Speaker 3: so don't avoid things. Do what takes to move that

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Speaker 3: story along.

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Speaker 4: It sounds like the new trendy tattoo for everyone they're

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Speaker 4: going to regret in about six months.

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Speaker 3: Fift dip number four instead of l M f AO

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Speaker 3: right I jb O L short for I just burst

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Speaker 3: out laughing.

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Speaker 4: Oh.

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Speaker 3: The number three shorten the word great by spelling it

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Speaker 3: g R.

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Speaker 5: And the number eight not everything.

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Speaker 2: As much as you can.

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Speaker 4: What kind of annoys me because it's actually not shorter

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Speaker 4: because then you have to go to the numeric keypad.

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Speaker 5: To get to the E and you know, I jbel

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Speaker 5: did that. But don't say that slaps. Okay, that's old.

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Speaker 5: Now I say that.

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Speaker 3: Number two, stop calling things fire fire, fire, fire fire.

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Speaker 5: It's already lame.

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Speaker 3: Unless it's an actual fire, then I think you're allowed

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Speaker 3: to call that. But linked is back in style.

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Speaker 4: Now, Okay, I never saw everything is back around twenty years.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And the.

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Speaker 3: Number one slang chains that gen z ers want you

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Speaker 3: to know about is stop calling crazy people cray or

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Speaker 3: cray cray. In twenty twenty four, their Delulu short for delusional,

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Speaker 3: this guy.

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Speaker 5: Is so Delulu for to shooeshu. It's crag No, it's not.

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Speaker 5: It's not crag no, it's not.

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Speaker 2: It's girt eight.

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Speaker 3: It means Laser Stories is over for the day and

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Speaker 3: we're gonna do it again, same time on Friday

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Speaker 2: Brooking Jeffrey in the morning