1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,560 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:11,479 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:19,040 Speaker 1: live on the air, but that's for you, j just 6 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,079 Speaker 1: like we're gonna read this one right here, right now. 7 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,120 Speaker 1: You never know it could be yours. Let's go buckle 8 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:25,920 Speaker 1: up hole on time. We got it, Paul, you here 9 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: it is Strawberry Letter, all right, thank you, nephew. Subject. 10 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 1: I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Dear 11 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I've been with my boyfriend for five years. 12 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 1: He's thirty years old and I'm twenty eight. Since a 13 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:44,599 Speaker 1: pandemic hit, he's been drinking a lot. At first, it 14 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,239 Speaker 1: was out of boredom to pass the time, and I 15 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: didn't mind it because it was just beer. Now he's 16 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: drinking at least thirty beers a week, and our recycling 17 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: bend stays full of beer cans each week. He swapped 18 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: out his coffee and bagel for a beer before he 19 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: heads to work. He needs it to jump start his day, 20 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,960 Speaker 1: as he says, He's gone back to work a lot 21 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: under the influence, so I pray it doesn't get him 22 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: fired because he's on probation and he has to keep 23 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 1: a job. I asked his father to come talk to him, 24 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,959 Speaker 1: but they drank beer together during the conversation about him 25 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 1: drinking too much. I am at the end of my 26 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,759 Speaker 1: rope with this man, and I gave him an ultimatum 27 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,760 Speaker 1: that I will not marry him if he can't control 28 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 1: his drinking. If he's had a lot to drink, he 29 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 1: snores very loudly, and I have to sleep on the 30 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,840 Speaker 1: couch when he doesn't get enough sleep. He's drunk and 31 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: cranky and picks fights over stupid things. I'm tired of 32 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:46,319 Speaker 1: avoiding him in our tiny apartment. And his mom called 33 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: him the other day and she could tell he was drunk, 34 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 1: and she went off on him. He started crying and 35 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 1: said that everyone is against him and it's too much 36 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,240 Speaker 1: pressure on him. He's almost had me fooled because he 37 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: looks so feed it in that moment, but a few 38 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: minutes after that he was passed out drunk. His mom 39 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: and I have considered talking to his probation officer about 40 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: scaring him straight. The only thing about that is he'd 41 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,000 Speaker 1: either go back to jail or have to enroll in 42 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 1: an outpatient treatment program. If he doesn't do something soon, 43 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: he's going to lose me and his family is going 44 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:25,799 Speaker 1: to distance themselves. Is calling his probation officer a bit 45 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 1: too extreme? Well it might be at this point, but 46 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: if you call, you got to get him into some 47 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 1: kind of treatment program. That's what I'm saying, because it 48 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: sounds like, truly, he's an alcoholic right now. That's what 49 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: it sounds like. He likes to drink, and he's been 50 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: drinking a lot, and he can't do this. He can't 51 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,640 Speaker 1: stop on his own. So you gotta get him some 52 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,919 Speaker 1: kind of help. And I'm not talking about the kind 53 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:53,360 Speaker 1: of help his dad so called gave him when he 54 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 1: came over there to talk to him about stopping drinking, 55 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: and they were drinking together at that moment. You gotta 56 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 1: get at him in some kind of recovery program immediately, 57 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: hopefully he'll agree to it. He's doing too much. He's 58 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,800 Speaker 1: at work drunk, he's picking fights over stupid things. And 59 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 1: how is he getting to work. I'm assuming he's driving, 60 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 1: and we all know how bad that can be. That's very, 61 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 1: very dangerous. But I would definitely sign him up for 62 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:23,799 Speaker 1: rehab before I contact his probation officer. We don't want 63 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,640 Speaker 1: him to go back to jail, but he needs help 64 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: right now, not punishment. All right, Steven boy, this letter 65 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 1: got crazy. Yeah, I'm sick of tie to being sick 66 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 1: of time. You've been a boyfriend, had a boyfriend for 67 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 1: five years, he thirty, you twenty eight. Well, the pandemic 68 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 1: hit and he started drinking a lot. And you say 69 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: at first he was out of boredom to pass the time. 70 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 1: So that must mean you were there, Well, you having 71 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 1: a couple of drinks yourself. I'm curious about that, or 72 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: was it just him? I didn't mind it because it 73 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 1: was just beer. Now he's drinking at least thirty beers 74 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: a week, thirty what is that? About five five a days? 75 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: Thirty six? Yeah, about five a little under five a day. 76 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:27,480 Speaker 1: But I think he's drinking more than that though, anyway, 77 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 1: or and now recycling being stage full of beer cans 78 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: each week, swapped out his coffee and baker for a 79 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 1: beer before he go to work because he needs it 80 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: to jump start his day. As he says, I didn't 81 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,480 Speaker 1: know beer was a jump starter. It is for him. 82 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:46,080 Speaker 1: I didn't know that. I didn't know that. You that's 83 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 1: that's an addiction. Yeah, that's that's an addiction. Uh. He's 84 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 1: gone to work a lot under the influence. Wait a minute, 85 00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: he's grown to work drunk. Okay, you have a problem, 86 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 1: Shelly said it. This ain't no might be if you 87 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 1: go to work under the influence, dog, you got a problem. 88 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 1: The pandemic to turn him into an alcoholic. And I 89 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: pray it doesn't get him fired because he's on probation 90 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:19,919 Speaker 1: and he has to keep a job. Now, when you 91 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,359 Speaker 1: were talked about probation right here, I thought he was 92 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:27,920 Speaker 1: on his probation period doing it for his job. It's 93 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,479 Speaker 1: what I thought. I asked his father to come talk 94 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: to him, but they drank beer together doing the conversation 95 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: about him drinking too much. See, now you need somebody 96 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:41,359 Speaker 1: to come talk to his daddy. Everybody, you gotta have 97 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 1: conversations with this whole damn family. Because daddy came over there, 98 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 1: they drank while they was talking about him drinking too much, 99 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 1: and him and the daddy just drunk, all right, and 100 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:59,040 Speaker 1: I will So I'm at the end of my rope 101 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,599 Speaker 1: with this man. And I gave him an ultimatum that 102 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: I will not marry him if he can't control his drinking. 103 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:07,719 Speaker 1: If he's had a lot to drink, he snores very loudly. 104 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 1: I have sleep on the couch. When he doesn't get 105 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 1: enough sleep, he's drunk and cranking. It picks fights over 106 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: stupid things. What, lady, you want to marry this, whatever's 107 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:28,159 Speaker 1: happening before the marriage. When you get married, it amplifies. Ready, Okay, 108 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,720 Speaker 1: all right, coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour, 109 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 1: part two of Steve's respond Too, I'm sick and tired 110 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 1: of being sick and tired. We'll get back into it 111 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,480 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. 112 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. 113 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:48,280 Speaker 1: The subject is I'm sick and tired of being sick 114 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:53,159 Speaker 1: and tired. Twenty eight year old. Lady, girls, got your 115 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 1: thirty year old boyfriend for five years. I don't told 116 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:59,840 Speaker 1: y'all about the boyfriends after you league college. I'n't told 117 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 1: y'all thirty and twenty five boyfriend. Okay, Anyway, during the pandemic, 118 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 1: was started drinking. He thought it was just out of 119 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: boardom to pass the time. But during the pandemic gave 120 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 1: us a lot of time though, so he just drank 121 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 1: his ass to death. Now he dranking at least thirty 122 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: beers a week and recycling being stayed full of beer. 123 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: Caves swapped out his coffee and bagel for a beer 124 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 1: before he had to work because he needs to jumpstart 125 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 1: his day. I didn't know Bill was a jump starter, 126 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 1: but alcohols had jump started to get your day off 127 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 1: if you're an alcoholic. He's gone to work under the influence. 128 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 1: So our prayer doesn't get him fired. Because he's on probation, 129 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: he has to keep a job. Once again. I thought 130 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 1: that was because he was on a probation they period 131 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: doing a job, but I found out later on he's 132 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: on probation period the court. I asked his father come 133 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: talk to him, but they drank beer together doing the 134 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 1: conversation about him drinking too much. Like I said before, 135 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 1: now you need somebody to come talk to the daddy. 136 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 1: I'm at the end of the road with this man. 137 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: I gave ultimatum and I won't marry him unless he 138 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: controls his drinking. He's had a lot to drink. He snores, loud, 139 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 1: and when he's not, and when he's doesn't get enough sleep, 140 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 1: he's drunk and cranky, and he fights over stupid things. Lady, 141 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:32,439 Speaker 1: you're marrying a guy on probation that has a drinking problem, 142 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,200 Speaker 1: that snores when he get drunk, and when he awake 143 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,959 Speaker 1: he picked fights. I'm tired of avoiding him in our 144 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: tiny apartment. How do you do that? I've lived in 145 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,439 Speaker 1: an apartment with the person I tried to avoid. It's 146 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: damn near impossible. And the only thing I used to 147 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 1: do was just sitting look at the wall. I would 148 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 1: just take a chance, just turning the corner, just look 149 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: at the wall. Actel like I was reading, I was 150 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 1: doing anything, man, I just look at him the corner. 151 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: I put myself in time out. Just sit in the corner, 152 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:06,360 Speaker 1: just look at the damn wall. Try to immunore this. 153 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: Who I've been that leg Oh you got to You've 154 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: gonna kill yourself. It's hard a voice. Somebody in tiny 155 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 1: ass apartment, hard apartment was that problem? Six hundred square feet. 156 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: I couldn't go nowhere. And that wasn't even the first 157 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 1: the first on head. Oh god, oh god, Because hate 158 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: looks at you all the time, Anyway, his mom called 159 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 1: him another day and she could tell he was drunk, 160 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: so then she went off on him. Now here we go. 161 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:46,079 Speaker 1: He started crying and said that everybody's against him and 162 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,559 Speaker 1: there's too much pressure on him. Wait a minute, everybody's 163 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 1: against you. You're talking about these people trying to help you. 164 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:55,439 Speaker 1: And wait a minute, what pressure is on you? This 165 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:59,679 Speaker 1: called life? Boy, So this is on all of us, 166 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: this thing called life, this thing called pressure, It's on 167 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: all of us. You're not the only one. He almost 168 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 1: had me food because he looked so defeated in that moment. 169 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 1: But a few minutes after that he was passed out drunk. 170 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 1: Well that's how he fixed it. Guess how gonna get 171 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 1: drunk get out of this pressure? His mom and I 172 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:24,080 Speaker 1: have considered taking talking to his probation officer about scaring 173 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 1: him straight. The only thing about that is he'd either 174 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 1: go back to jail and have to enroll in an 175 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:33,319 Speaker 1: outpacient treatment program. If he doesn't do something soon, he's 176 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 1: going to lose me and his family is going to 177 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 1: distance himself. It's calling the probation officer to extreme. I'm 178 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,960 Speaker 1: going to tell you this, don't call that probation officer 179 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 1: because he's not gonna play the game with y'all. You 180 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 1: call the PO, you create a whole another problem because 181 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 1: all they're gonna do is violated to do. All they're 182 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 1: gonna do is violate He going back to jail now, 183 00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: I'm assuming that he's gone to jail before for something 184 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: to do with drinking or drugs, because he'll either go 185 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 1: back to jail or have to enroll in an outpatient 186 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: treatment program. So I don't know if he's sold dope. 187 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,560 Speaker 1: I don't know if he was using I don't know 188 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:22,560 Speaker 1: what he got arrested for. But do not call the PO, 189 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,880 Speaker 1: because if you call the PO, they're not gonna act right. 190 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: They're not fit to play no games with you. You're 191 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,319 Speaker 1: gonna keep your man in the system, and then he 192 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:34,680 Speaker 1: has he has no chance of winning. You all have 193 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:38,320 Speaker 1: got to do some type of intervention. You've got to 194 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,680 Speaker 1: sit him down and tell him what he means to you. 195 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:44,680 Speaker 1: You've got to do an intervention. Your mom, you his sister, 196 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:49,600 Speaker 1: get his daddy, and y'all got to sit out and 197 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 1: you got to explain it to him. And that's it. 198 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 1: That's your only chance. But do not call the parole 199 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:01,560 Speaker 1: officer because you are interested. You seem a system that 200 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 1: already ain't fair. Now you didn't call the what do 201 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: you think? What game do you think the PO f 202 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:12,160 Speaker 1: into play? He parted system. That's some good pos out 203 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 1: there now and really try to help people get back 204 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: on the straight now and cut them slacking everything. I 205 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: don't know which one you got. I don't know. I 206 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:26,599 Speaker 1: feel so badly here. But he gotta stopped drinking for 207 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:30,200 Speaker 1: he go to work because if he lose his job, 208 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 1: he gonna be in the world of trouble. But do 209 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:40,400 Speaker 1: not call a parole officer. I'm sorry, I wouldn't do that. 210 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 1: You're drinking his ass. You don't want to cough in 211 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 1: the bagel? You rather have a bill. I'm not really 212 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,199 Speaker 1: a bagel either, but I rather have a bagel in 213 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,960 Speaker 1: a bill though, all right. Poster comments on Today's Strawberry 214 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 1: Letter at Steve rvf Emine, Instagram, and Facebook, and check 215 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,880 Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand coming up a 216 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 1: forty six minutes after its junior in sports talk. Right 217 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 1: after this, you're listening to The Dave Harvey Morning Show