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Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the

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Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you

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Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with

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Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how

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Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,

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Speaker 1: whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember

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Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering

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Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from

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Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and leave

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Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beep.

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Speaker 2: Hey Cheekys. So, I just want to start by saying

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Speaker 2: thank you so much for making this podcast. It's really

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Speaker 2: nice to connect with you directly, and I listen to

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Speaker 2: it every time I'm at the gym because it's just

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Speaker 2: so relaxing. So anyways, my question for today is how

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Speaker 2: do you go about your boyfriend not wanting to share

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Speaker 2: phone passwords. I've been with my boyfriend on and off

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Speaker 2: for about twelve years now, and yeah, it's always a

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Speaker 2: reoccurring issue that he never wants to share his phone

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Speaker 2: password with me, and whenever I bring it up to him,

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Speaker 2: He always brings up the argument of well, it makes

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Speaker 2: me feel like you don't trust me, like he always

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Speaker 2: tries to gaslight the situation, if that makes sense. He says, well,

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Speaker 2: it makes me uncomfortable knowing that you don't trust me

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Speaker 2: because you want access to my phone. So it just

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Speaker 2: makes me uncomfortable because it's like, well, is there a

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Speaker 2: reason why you're not showing me the phone password? You know,

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Speaker 2: like are you doing something shiny? So anyways, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: would just love some advice on that. Thank you, girl,

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Speaker 2: I love you.

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Speaker 1: Ooh shantale or chantale. Okay, girl, First of all, I'm

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Speaker 1: so happy that you are a fan of Cheeky's and

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Speaker 1: Chill podcast. If dear cheekyes, thank you so much. I

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Speaker 1: appreciate that. Okay, So look, everyone is entitled to their privacy.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes certain people feel like that is an invasion of privacy.

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Speaker 1: And I get that to a certain extent because that's

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Speaker 1: their phone. But I feel like when you're in a relationship,

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Speaker 1: when a guy or even a woman is ready, in

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Speaker 1: my opinion, is ready for a stable relationship where there's

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Speaker 1: no bs, then he or she are not going to

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Speaker 1: have an issue with saying hey, okay, yeah you want

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Speaker 1: to see my phone, Here you go. If he doesn't

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Speaker 1: feel comfortable sharing his password or his code, then okay.

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Speaker 1: But he could just be like, oh, yeah, here, I

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Speaker 1: have nothing to hide. It should not be an argument.

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Speaker 1: It should not be like, oh, I feel like you

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Speaker 1: don't trust me, because that, to me sounds like gaslighting.

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Speaker 1: One hundred percent. If he is ready to be with

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Speaker 1: you and he's not doing anything that he shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: doing or he wouldn't want you to do, it should

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Speaker 1: not be an issue. And even then, I've been in

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Speaker 1: situations where I have my man's code and still I

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Speaker 1: find something like it wasentra It's just it's the truth.

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Speaker 1: But also you shouldn't torment your mind either. You have

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Speaker 1: to be able to yes, just trust and say, God, Universe,

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Speaker 1: if there's anything that I need to know, you're going

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Speaker 1: to bring that to light and I'm not gonna worry.

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Speaker 1: But it should not be an issue. If you ask, hey,

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Speaker 1: can I see your DMS? Hey can I see your phone?

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Speaker 1: Or can I use your phone real quick to get

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Speaker 1: on Instagram? Sometimes I'll use my boyfriend's phone for like, hey,

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Speaker 1: let me take a picture. There's no hesitation at all.

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Speaker 1: And in past relationships I've had where they're like, oh wait, no,

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Speaker 1: why and I'm like, I just want to take a

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Speaker 1: picture with your phone. My phone's not working or whatever.

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Speaker 1: It's just little things like that that for me, are

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Speaker 1: little yellow flags that you should look out for. But

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Something in my gut is telling me

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Speaker 1: that he might be hiding something. And I don't want

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Speaker 1: to put things in your head, but you're already feeling it.

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Speaker 1: Just trust that intuition and have this conversation with him

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Speaker 1: and tell him what Cheeky said. I'm probably gonna hate me,

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Speaker 1: but anyways, I hope everything works out. Shantel all right,

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Speaker 1: So next question comes from Kim.

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Speaker 3: Hello, Cheeky. I love listening to your podcast.

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Speaker 4: I love when there's new episodes.

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Speaker 3: Anyways, how do you deal with a toxic parent?

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Speaker 5: For example?

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Speaker 3: Like, how do you tell a parent when they're wrong

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Speaker 3: without making them mad or them blowing up or whatever.

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Speaker 3: I've dealt with the toxic parent all my life, so

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Speaker 3: sometimes I can't find the way how to tell, especially

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Speaker 3: my mother, like hey, you're wrong, because of course she

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Speaker 3: always blows up or something.

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Speaker 1: Hi Kim, thank you for listening. Thank you for your question. Look,

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Speaker 1: I know what you mean. It's difficult because I'm sure

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Speaker 1: you're Latina, right, I think, I think and Latin parents

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Speaker 1: are very very strict. It's kind of like, just listen

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Speaker 1: and don't talk back, you know what I mean. And

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Speaker 1: I've had to deal with that in the past. I

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Speaker 1: think it's all in how you deliver your message. I

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Speaker 1: think you telling your mom, hey, you're wrong is gonna

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Speaker 1: get a good reaction, you know what I mean. It's

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Speaker 1: all about how you say it. For instance, hey mom,

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Speaker 1: it hurts my feelings when you do this, or that

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Speaker 1: doesn't make me feel good, or I don't agree with you,

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Speaker 1: you know, And it's all the tone of voice. But

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Speaker 1: I think you sound like an adult. I don't think

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Speaker 1: you're under eighteen. But regardless, we're individuals. We have minds

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Speaker 1: of our own, and I think we should be able

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Speaker 1: to speak to our parents and say, Savasquez dotam lusa.

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Speaker 1: I don't like this. It's all in how you speak

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Speaker 1: to her. Be like, mom, can I talk to you

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Speaker 1: or write her a letter? Honestly, maybe that will give

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Speaker 1: her some time to digest what you have to say.

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Speaker 1: I think that'll be a good thing for you. Kim,

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Speaker 1: write her a letter into her mom, this is how

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling, and I don't want to upset you, or

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Speaker 1: maybe start the conversation like that and tell her I

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Speaker 1: don't want to upset you. I don't want this to

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Speaker 1: cause any issues in our relationship, but this is how

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling. Because if you hold that in, it's gonna

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Speaker 1: cause resentment and tension in your relationship, and that's what

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Speaker 1: you're trying to avoid. So I'm really hoping that your

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Speaker 1: mom opens up her heart and her mind to listening

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Speaker 1: to you again. Don't start the conversation with mom you're wrong.

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Speaker 1: That's my best advice. Write her letter and always start

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Speaker 1: the conversation with Look, Mom, I want to have a

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Speaker 1: peaceful conversation. I don't want to upset you, but this

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Speaker 1: is how i'm feeling, and I'm hoping that works. Okay,

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Speaker 1: But it's just it's a Latin parent thing, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? What's the saying kind of like that? Anyways, Kim,

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Speaker 1: I hope it made sense all right, guys. So our

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Speaker 1: next question comes from Stephanie Hijiki.

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Speaker 5: I just wanted to say congratulations on your engagement as

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Speaker 5: well as your mom's new album, which I have been loving.

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Speaker 5: By the way, I just wanted to ask you, I've

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Speaker 5: been having issues with my I guess you could say

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Speaker 5: in my relationship, not with my partner specifically, but with

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Speaker 5: his mom. He is, say, mama's boy. We've been together

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Speaker 5: for about a year now. But I just kind of

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Speaker 5: wanted to ask you how you would handle that. I'm

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Speaker 5: not sure if you've ever been with or dated a

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Speaker 5: mama's boy, but I just kind of wanted to get

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Speaker 5: your advice on, you know, what I should do in

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Speaker 5: regard to you know, per kind of always you know,

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Speaker 5: being in our business and wanting like details and stuff

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Speaker 5: like that. Thank you so much, I love you.

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Speaker 1: I love you too, Stephanie, and thank you for congratulating me. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so there's nothing wrong, in my opinion with a mama's boy.

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Speaker 1: I feel that a man that respects his mom and

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Speaker 1: loves her and they have a good relationship communication, I

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Speaker 1: think that that's a beautiful thing. But there's a very

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Speaker 1: thin line between being a mama's boy and then having

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Speaker 1: Una teachair. There's nothing worse than having at teach in

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Speaker 1: your relationship because it is your relationship with your man.

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Speaker 1: When she should stay out of it unless you bring

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Speaker 1: her in it and you go and ask her for

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Speaker 1: you know, advice or something. But that is a difficult

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Speaker 1: situation and it's a very very fine line because that's

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Speaker 1: his mom and he loves her. And obviously, the way

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Speaker 1: I see it is if he's a mama's boy, then

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Speaker 1: hopefully he'll be a good wifey man. You know, we

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Speaker 1: want a man, and I think you need to speak

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Speaker 1: to your partner and tell him, look, I respect your

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Speaker 1: mom and I don't want to have issues, but I

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Speaker 1: really need you to be the man that I need

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Speaker 1: in this relationship and tell your mom to kind of

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Speaker 1: lay off a little bit. And if that doesn't work,

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Speaker 1: then maybe you should have a conversation with the mom

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Speaker 1: respectfully and just say, hey, I love your son, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to take care of him. I love that you

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Speaker 1: guys are close, but this is our relationship and it

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Speaker 1: makes me feel uncomfortable that your nose is all in

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Speaker 1: it because that's going to definitely cause issues. But of course,

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Speaker 1: again it's all how you deliver your message and how

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Speaker 1: you say it that you know how they'll receive it,

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Speaker 1: and hopefully it doesn't become an argument because you're not

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Speaker 1: trying to push her away and keep her away from

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Speaker 1: from her son or her son away from the mother.

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Speaker 1: But you do need to kind of and kind of say, hey,

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Speaker 1: I am his woman and we do things a certain way,

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Speaker 1: and I would really appreciate it if you backed up

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Speaker 1: in other nicer words, try talking to him first, then

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Speaker 1: to her, because that is definitely going to cause your frustration.

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Speaker 1: I really hope it works out, girl, I really do,

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Speaker 1: because been there, done that. It's not easy. Okay. So

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Speaker 1: our last question, guys is from Laura Hi Jiggy's.

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Speaker 2: So.

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Speaker 4: I follow you on Instagram and you always make it

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Speaker 4: seem like you're always very happy and always in such

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Speaker 4: a good mood. What do you do on the days

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Speaker 4: where you don't feel good, where you just have an attitude,

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Speaker 4: you know, having a bad day. What do you do

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Speaker 4: on those days?

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Speaker 1: Laura or Laura? I love your question because I have

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Speaker 1: those days, believe it or not, And I even go

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Speaker 1: on Instagram sometimes and I say it, I'm straight up,

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Speaker 1: I'm like you, guys, I am in a bad mood.

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Speaker 1: I can't even stand myself. And my last I think

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Speaker 1: just accepting it is the first step and just saying okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling these feelings, and sometimes I even have to

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Speaker 1: pray and say, Okay, I release any feelings, any emotions,

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Speaker 1: any stresses, any concerns, any worries that do not belong

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Speaker 1: to me, release me from it, and that just helps

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Speaker 1: me saying it out loud. But on those days, I

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Speaker 1: just allow myself to feel and I try to backtrack

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Speaker 1: and say, Okay, why am I feeling this this way?

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Speaker 1: What triggered this feeling? But I'm like, you know what,

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Speaker 1: life is too beautiful and you have to like really

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Speaker 1: give yourself therapy and talk yourself through it, because there's

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Speaker 1: nothing wrong with having a bad day. Sometimes you just

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Speaker 1: wake up and you're just in a bad mood. It

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Speaker 1: could be PM messing, it could be whatever. It could

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Speaker 1: be anything. Someone you know cut you off and they

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Speaker 1: just set the tone for the rest of your day.

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Speaker 1: It's just you choosing, like, you know what, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: feel these feelings. I recognize this feeling, but I want

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Speaker 1: to change it and I want to feel better. So

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Speaker 1: that's what I do. And that is my advice to

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Speaker 1: you that when you're having a day like that, just breathe,

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Speaker 1: always breathe, hold your breath, and then say I'm releasing

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Speaker 1: all the frustration, all the worries, all the concerns. I

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Speaker 1: am here. I'm going to love this day because today

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Speaker 1: is a beautiful day no matter what. It's a little

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Speaker 1: harder than it sounds, but it's possible, and trust me,

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Speaker 1: just feel it, but don't don't let it go on

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Speaker 1: for twenty days. Okay, feel it, allow it, and then

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Speaker 1: just say I'm gonna move on. This too shall pass. Okay, guys,

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Speaker 1: So that is the episode, and I want to say

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Speaker 1: thank you to Chantel, Kim, Stephanie and Laura. You guys

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Speaker 1: had some really juicy questions this week. If you have

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Speaker 1: a situation you need help sorting through, you guys, leave

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Speaker 1: me a message at speakpipe dot com, Slash Cheeky's and

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Speaker 1: Chill Podcasts. Okay, can't wait to hear from you. This

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Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartRadio and the Micudura podcast Network.

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Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts, then follow

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Speaker 1: me Cheeky's, That's c h I q U I s.

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Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check

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Speaker 1: us out on YouTube. M H

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Speaker 2: M HM