WEBVTT - I Have Some Thoughts Minisode | Angel Reese, Brandy, & Latto 0:00:09.920 --> 0:00:12.440 Hey, y'all, Welcome back to the next episode of I 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:16.200 Have Some Thoughts, a weekly podcast minisolo series where we 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:18.480 talk about all things pop culture, but of course from 0:00:18.480 --> 0:00:21.320 a mental health lens and I am joined today again 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:23.760 by Bria. Hey, Maria, Hi everyone. 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:26.840 We have a lot of cool topics to get into today. 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:31.200 The first let's talk about Angel Reese and the WNBA. 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:33.400 I feel like we can never get through a season 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:38.080 without something happening. But the Toronto Temple's head coach Sandy 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:41.960 has been suspended for one game without pay after making 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:46.040 an appropriate comment about the Atlanta Dreams Angel Reese. This 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:49.920 past Friday, the Atlanta dream and Toronto Tempo were playing 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:52.839 in a game. During the first quarter, Nayar, one of 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:56.520 the players, got called for a personal foul against Angel Rees. 0:00:56.920 --> 0:01:00.400 Ny are false to the ground in pain and the coach, Sandy, 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:03.240 was very upset about it and during her comments, I 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:05.560 don't know if she forgot she was miked up, but 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:10.160 she called Angel Rees a protected species. Now, obviously there 0:01:10.200 --> 0:01:14.840 are a lot of racial undertones throughout that commentary. In 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:18.679 response to the WNBA suspended Sandy for one game, Sandy 0:01:18.720 --> 0:01:21.640 did release an apology. Angel Rees has since made a 0:01:21.680 --> 0:01:25.720 statement as well, thanking the WNBA for taking action too. 0:01:26.600 --> 0:01:28.800 As we all know, this is not the first and 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:31.759 definitely will not be the last instance of racism that 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:35.399 we see within the WNBA. This is honestly just a 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:38.479 very quick glimpse into it, but I think it opened 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:43.080 a broader conversation of why black women athletes, especially in 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:47.000 these women leagues, that they're already kind of you would 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:50.640 almost think that they are having to go through the 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:54.760 struggle of being like a women only sports team, and 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:57.120 they already kind of being compared against the men and 0:01:57.160 --> 0:02:00.240 are getting the same resources as the male teams. But 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:05.240 black women specifically have to navigate this layer of excellence 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:08.160 and bias at the same time. So, like, why are 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:12.400 black women's emotions, their confidence, their competitiveness, why is it 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:17.160 interpreted so differently from their peers and women in the league, 0:02:17.160 --> 0:02:19.320 but also in men in the league as well. 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:22.040 I agree with you, Ria, because you would think, like 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:25.080 a league that is built by well and I won't 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:27.120 necessarily built by women, right, because we know that the 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:30.080 NBA also has a large part in like all the 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:32.360 things that happen in the WNBA, because it kind of 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:35.480 came out of there but a league that is governed 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:39.160 by women, that is run by women, that is, you know, 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:42.320 built on the backs of black women specifically, Like you 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:46.200 would think that there would be more ground that has 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:49.360 been made in terms of like eliminating bias and really 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:53.160 like centering the needs of the players all of the players, 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:55.680 and sadly that has not been the case. And I 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:58.160 just think it is so unfortunate. Many people have heard 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:00.079 me talk about on the podcast before, I am a 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:05.760 newly converted WNBA fan. I just love all the women's basketball, 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:08.600 and a lot of that actually is dedicated or is 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:11.320 in large part due to Angel Reee. So I really 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:15.960 started following women's basketball when she and the LSU team 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:20.160 won the national championship several years ago. And so Angel 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:23.880 is definitely somebody who I have loved following her journey 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:26.640 and is one of my favorite players. And I definitely 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:30.679 have paid attention to what it feels like just outsized 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:37.920 ignorance and violence and like just racist kinds of behaviors 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:41.760 and thoughts aimed her way, and it really is disgusting. 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:44.440 And I think black women, no matter where we go, 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:48.360 whatever space we show up in, it always feels and 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:50.560 I think that this is accurate that there is this 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:55.560 intense dedication to paying attention to what we're doing and 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:59.560 like policing our tone and our behavior. And we see 0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:03.040 so many instances of it in the WNBA, where other 0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:06.560 players are able to get away with shouting at reffs, 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:09.200 talking to their coaches any kind of way, like not 0:04:09.400 --> 0:04:13.880 exhibiting sportsmanlike behavior, and it's not seen as the same way. 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:16.120 It is just seen as competitiveness, right, and like, oh, 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:19.119 they're fiery. But when it's Angel Reese and other black 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:23.039 women players, there is this undertone of oh, this is 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:25.520 kind of how we expect black women to be. And 0:04:25.560 --> 0:04:28.679 so I think, unfortunately, this is just another example of 0:04:29.080 --> 0:04:31.320 black women not being able to kind of take up 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:34.080 space and be competitive and want to kind of compete 0:04:34.080 --> 0:04:35.960 at such a high level in the same way as 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:38.520 other people, and that not just being seen as what 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:40.839 it is, right, like just a part of the game. 0:04:40.920 --> 0:04:44.920 There are all these other implications and insinuations that are 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:48.039 made that have absolutely nothing to do with the actual game. 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:52.839 Absolutely. Yeah. And I mentioned earlier that Sandy did get 0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:56.520 suspended for one game. A lot of people are speaking 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:59.640 out saying that that honestly wasn't enough there's this balance 0:04:59.680 --> 0:05:03.120 of did you mean what you said, but also what 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:06.440 you said did have implications that were like very racist, 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:10.279 So was that really a proper response to that? But 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:13.000 what do you think from your perspective that it will 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:18.719 take for organizations sports teams to move beyond support in 0:05:18.760 --> 0:05:21.680 a way that might be interpreted as performative Because if 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:24.159 the WNBA said nothing, then it would have been bad. 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:26.719 But it's tricky to balance too. 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:29.960 I am please, you know, I'm actually surprised that they 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:32.160 did act so quickly, but I agree with you that 0:05:32.200 --> 0:05:34.480 if they didn't like it definitely would have been probably 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:38.680 for our worst. Yeah, not understanding that Sandy is Australian 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:42.000 and so it sounds like there is this term protected 0:05:42.040 --> 0:05:45.760 species maybe means something differently maybe culturally for her. But 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:48.279 of course we are in the US, right and especially 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:51.280 when we're looking at the WBA and the fire that 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:54.680 has been led around like race relations, particularly related to 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:57.880 like Caitlyn Clark and all of the other black players, like, 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:00.480 it just feels like things are boiling over at like 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:03.839 a speedy rate right now, and so I think timing 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:06.080 in place is everything right, And so for her to 0:06:06.120 --> 0:06:08.960 say something like that, even if culturally, it maybe has 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:12.200 a different connotation for her. In this context, of course, 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:14.960 it is very racist, right, and Angel was offended, and 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:18.279 so I was very pleased that Sandy responded so quickly. 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:21.279 Angel accepted the apology. You know, it definitely feels like 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:23.440 she did the right thing and offered an apology that 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:26.040 was actually meaningful. And then the league did take action. 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:29.159 But again I don't know whether that was right or wrong, 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:31.440 but I'm pleased that they did something and that it 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:34.159 was so swift. I think in order for us to 0:06:34.200 --> 0:06:36.920 see more meaningful change, there needs to be more black 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:40.560 women in leadership roles. So another conversation that has been 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:44.360 kind of percolating through the WNBA streets this season is 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:47.039 the lack of black women coaches. So there are no 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:50.600 black women head coaches in the WNBA again, and that 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:53.560 is really difficult to see in a league that is 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.119 on the backs of black women, right, like black women 0:06:56.240 --> 0:07:00.000 built this right and so to see that there are 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:02.360 there are no black women in leadership positions at the 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:05.359 head coaching role, I think is something that adds to 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:08.080 the nuance and what we're seeing in this situation. 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:08.760 Now. 0:07:08.800 --> 0:07:12.600 Nekka gum Lak is the WNBA president, So she's like 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:14.800 the president of the players union. I guess it's what 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:17.560 the WNBPA is, And so I think that that goes 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:19.480 a long way. And I think she is a very 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:23.440 well spoken, like good advocate for the players and she's 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:26.360 still an active player, so her presence goes a long way. 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:28.800 But she really is the only one, right, And so 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:30.800 I think that when we look at the leadership of 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:33.880 the WNBA, there needs to be more black women who 0:07:33.960 --> 0:07:36.280 strongly identify as black women, right because we know all 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:39.840 Skinfok and kimbok, right, for people who actually understand like 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:43.640 a black woman's ethic and what it means, especially like 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:45.800 if we just use Angel Reese as an example, right, 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:47.880 like what it might need for a young player to 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:51.440 come in with this level of scrutiny and criticism and 0:07:51.480 --> 0:07:54.680 how that impacts their development, Like somebody who really understands 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:57.440 a black woman's plight. I think is really important and 0:07:57.480 --> 0:08:00.600 that I think is sorely missing in the WNBA right now, 0:08:00.640 --> 0:08:02.520 and it's something that would actually go a long way 0:08:02.960 --> 0:08:05.760 I think in navigating these situations better. 0:08:06.240 --> 0:08:09.200 That's so true. I think even like beyond sports, we 0:08:09.280 --> 0:08:13.200 stayed often where there's one black person in corporate America 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:15.680 in the room that's like, hey, this won't be received 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:18.320 a certain way, but it's on them that to like 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:20.920 call those things out and then to go against so 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:23.880 many other people whom I think differently. It's definitely something 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:25.440 that I feel like we see kind of across the 0:08:25.520 --> 0:08:25.960 board too. 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:28.560 Yeah, you raise a good point there, Ria, because it's 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:30.600 not enough to just have them there. People also have 0:08:30.680 --> 0:08:32.920 to listen. Ex Like, we don't just need black women 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:35.760 in figureheads faces, we need black women in leadership in 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.760 the WNBA who people will actually listen to and whose 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:40.400 voices will be heard for sure. 0:08:40.600 --> 0:08:45.280 I agree well. For our next topic, Brandy R and B. 0:08:45.400 --> 0:08:49.439 Singer has been facing some body shaming comments. So Brandy 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:52.880 was at the center of an online conversation after a 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:56.920 video circulated of her looking noticeably slimmer, especially like within 0:08:57.000 --> 0:09:01.200 her facial area. People began immediately commenting on her appearance, 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:03.520 some of them in very negative ways. A lot of 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:06.880 people were like, oh, maybe there's something wrong with her medically, 0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:09.720 or she's been diagnosed with something, just kind of drawing 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:13.760 conclusions that weren't really for people to draw. It didn't 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:15.840 take long for people actually to reflect on a very 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:19.559 similar situation that took back in twenty twenty when people 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:23.040 made very similar comments about Chadwick Boseman he had lost 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:25.440 a lot of weight, especially in his face as well, 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:29.520 and then shortly after he revealed his colon cancer diagnosis, 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:32.920 which we ultimately know is how he passed away. Brandy 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:36.920 has since responded, reminding everyone to remember that the person 0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:39.160 that they're commenting on is still a person and to 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:42.760 always leap with kindness. But I think there's a broader 0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:46.000 question here of when commenting on people's. 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:47.839 Bodies just became so normalized. 0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:50.200 And I feel like, you know, when you're growing up, 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:52.480 you maybe go to like your mom's house, at your 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:55.199 grandma's house and maybe like, oh, you're gaining weight, excising. 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:57.760 I feel like it was it's kind of normal and 0:09:57.920 --> 0:10:01.360 like black households in a way. But I feel like 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:05.440 the Internet is just so amplifying. So from your perspective, 0:10:05.559 --> 0:10:08.960 why do people feel so comfortable commenting on other people's 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:11.760 bodies even when they don't really know the person or 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:13.439 what it is that they could be going through. 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:16.400 You bring up a great point, Brian, I you know 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:20.080 fairly don't know that this is only a black household situation, 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:22.600 because I definitely have heard white women also talk about 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:25.120 like the intense scrutiny they've had from family members in 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:27.640 terms of weight. But it does feel like a familial 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:30.079 kind of thing that has developed that it is okay 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.640 to kind of criticize one another, right, Like, so you 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:34.720 are away at college and then you come back and 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:37.160 all the family is like, oh, that freshman facing really 0:10:37.160 --> 0:10:39.600 got you, right, like all of those you know, And 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:41.760 I think many of us laughed it off and like 0:10:41.880 --> 0:10:43.880 kind of saw that as a normal part of kind 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:46.600 of family interactions. But I think as we have grown 0:10:47.120 --> 0:10:49.439 in our understanding of like what it means to relate 0:10:49.480 --> 0:10:52.080 to one another and what kinds of things invoke shaming people, 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:54.480 I think we've realized now that it is not okay, 0:10:54.520 --> 0:10:57.360 even with family members, like to make comments about that, 0:10:57.400 --> 0:11:00.360 because you never know what people's relationship to their weight 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:02.640 is in like those kinds of comments, and it's just 0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:05.959 not okay, Like why is it okay to talk about 0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:07.400 people's bodies in that way? 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:07.679 Right? 0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:09.720 So, if we know that we need to take a 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:12.280 step back, even with our family members and people we 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:15.480 know and have relationships with, it is far more not 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:19.679 okay for us to be doing it publicly online and 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:21.800 so you know your question around like when did this 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:24.120 become normal? I think for a lot of us it 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:26.360 is something that is kind of been normalized in our 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:29.360 families because people have comment it's about our weight and appearance, 0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:31.640 and maybe we have also done that. And I think 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:33.720 now that we have the Internet and it feels like 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:37.240 we are also connected though of course not really right, 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:38.920 Like we just had a conversation a couple of weeks 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:42.480 ago about parasocial relationships, and so I think there is 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:45.280 this fallacy that we are more connected and like we 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:48.880 know people online when we really don't. And so, you know, 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:52.040 I think it is normal to notice differences in people, right, 0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:54.040 Like if we saw somebody a year ago and now 0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:56.240 they look drastically different, I think it is just human 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:59.600 nature to register that difference, like, oh, something looks different. 0:11:59.880 --> 0:12:03.080 But I think instead of you know, jumping on X 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:06.559 or threads or Instagram and like sharing these dire tribes 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:09.800 around whatever it is, would that not be better sir? 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:14.120 For like, oh I'm wishing them well either privately or 0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:17.280 just in a small group chat, right like with people 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:19.560 who you know, and like, this is not information that 0:12:19.640 --> 0:12:21.760 will be shared publicly right, Because again, I don't think 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:24.640 there's anything wrong with noticing a difference. I think the 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:28.959 difficulty and the problematic behavior comes when we feel empowered 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:33.559 and entitled, honestly to go online and like make these 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:37.800 conclusions and create these entire stories that have likely nothing 0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:39.920 to do with the reality of what's going on with 0:12:41.320 --> 0:12:43.600 especially when people have come out and said I don't 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:46.720 like this, right, like so many celebrities and public figures 0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:48.920 have said, like, I feel uncomfortable with this, Like this 0:12:48.960 --> 0:12:51.960 doesn't feel good to me, And so we cannot feel 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:54.960 entitled and feel like just because we all can create 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:59.000 a Threads account that it gives us permission to comment 0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:02.360 on people's buy bodies and things in ways that people 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:04.319 have said, this does not feel good to me, I'm 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:05.160 not comfortable with this. 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:07.600 Totally agree, and I think that like a lot of 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:11.560 people forget And I've heard this conversation a lot around 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:14.240 for people who want to be like content creators and 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:17.320 all that, like if you might seem like only a 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:20.480 thousand people watch your content, oh my gosh, that's less 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:22.679 than like what I want, per se. I feel like 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:24.280 if a thousand people were to come up to you 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:27.280 in person, like the comments on something, it would feel 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:30.800 so different. So like to think from a celebrities perspective 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:33.640 that they're getting this from like so many different angles, 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:37.240 thousands and thousand people commenting on their physical appearance, it 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:40.760 can't be easy to navigate at all. So just like 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:44.520 keeping that in mind too. But even in our personal lives, 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:48.120 like with our family, our friends, how can we be 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:50.840 more thoughtful about the language that we're using when we 0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:54.839 do notice those changes and like way physical appearance. I'm 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:58.160 someone who's like, don't have for comment on way because 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:00.480 you really just never know. It just doesn't feel appropriate 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:03.000 to me personally. Other people might not feel that way. 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:05.679 So how can we just be more thoughtful about the 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:07.880 language that we're you're seeing and when we do notice 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:08.880 these differences? 0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:12.359 Mm hmm yeah, I think leading with care and consideration 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:15.920 is a better way to approach these situations, right, So 0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:19.200 not necessarily calling attention to like hey, it looks like you, 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:21.240 you know, like ore one hundred pounds smaller than when 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:23.720 I saw you last year, but you know, like, hey, 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:25.720 is everything okay? I haven't seen you in a while, 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:28.360 Like what's going on? Catch me up kind of thing? Right, 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:31.040 And so really like leaning into the relationship that you 0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:35.520 have with the person, because hopefully whatever conversation that you're 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:39.080 trying to spark with, whatever comment you're making, it's coming 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:42.280 from a place of like well wished and like, is 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:44.480 there anything I need to do to support you in 0:14:44.520 --> 0:14:47.120 a different way, right, as opposed to like judgment and 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:49.880 nosiness right right, Like you know, cause if it's that, 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.240 then you probably are better off just keeping the comment 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:55.600 to yourself or you know, get chat without that person. 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:58.520 But if it is like, oh, is this something I 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:01.800 should be concerned about? Or I think leading with hey, 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:03.880 you know, is everything okay? Is there anything I can 0:15:03.920 --> 0:15:06.960 do to support you? Will open up a space for 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:09.400 if that person feels comfortable. Now again, they may not 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:13.280 feel comfortable already or whatever to share anything with you, 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:15.480 But I think you going on record kind of coming 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:18.600 from a place of care and concern goes a much 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:22.280 further way and maybe registers differently with the person than hey, 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:24.680 it looks like you are one hundred pounds smaller. That 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:26.480 probably does not register as care. 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:29.080 Totally agree absolutely. 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:31.160 More from our conversation after the break. 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:36.440 So for our last topic, we're actually going to go 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:38.320 back to lotto. I feel like we have brought her 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:41.480 up a couple of times on some thoughts, but she's 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:45.200 in the news again because she was recently captured pushing 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:48.400 her newborn and a stroller toward a private jet. Now, 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:51.000 the video quickly made its way to social media, and 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:54.520 people began questioning whether this was a safe way to 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:56.680 be traveling with the baby, whether it was safe for 0:15:56.720 --> 0:15:59.560 the baby at all, germs, all that kind of stuff. 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:03.680 Someone commented actually on the video, sharing that no matter 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:06.720 how much money they made in their life, they wouldn't 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:09.160 put their baby at risk like this, and a Loto 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:11.640 actually responded back to them saying, good thing, it's not 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:14.480 your baby. So I think it's kind of like a 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:18.000 double edged sort of like some people online were like 0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:21.720 genuinely concerned for the child, but also have to navigate 0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:24.920 the fact that that's not your child. So, like, how 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:29.280 and why does motherhood seem to invite so much public scrutiny, 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:32.000 especially from celebrities who are in the public eye too. 0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:35.760 Yeah, we have definitely talked about a lot of a 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:37.640 couple of times, which I think is interesting. But I 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:39.840 think given the nature of our podcast and like she's 0:16:39.880 --> 0:16:41.880 a new mom, I think there's just been a lot happening, 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:44.440 you know, but it does feel like motherhood is one 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:47.000 of those things that like people just feel like they 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:50.800 have commentary and opinions about either you are a mother, 0:16:51.200 --> 0:16:53.720 you've had a mother, right Like, I think the rearing 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:56.240 of children is something that people just feel like, oh, 0:16:56.320 --> 0:16:59.360 we all have opinions about, and you know, because it 0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:01.520 doesn't come with a manual, right like, there is no 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:05.399 no guidebook around, like how to raise healthy, happy kids. People, 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:08.360 I think, in some ways would think that they are 0:17:08.400 --> 0:17:11.399 being helpful right now. Not everybody, right like, you know, 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:14.720 everybody does not have well good intentions. But I think 0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:16.600 for the most part, a lot of people are like 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:19.840 offering commentary in the hopes that like it will protect 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:22.280 your child, or like they are offering you something to 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:24.080 kind of help you in your journey as a mother. 0:17:24.720 --> 0:17:27.800 But I think for a lot of women, the idea 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:31.080 of motherhood or the state of motherhood already comes with 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:35.560 so much criticism, so much self criticism, that this unsolicited 0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:39.439 advice and commentary often just makes moms feel much worse 0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:42.800 and shamed, right that, oh my gosh, I did something 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:44.840 and put my baby at jeopardy. I didn't know this. 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:47.200 I think that there's so much pressure that is on 0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:52.120 moms that any unsolicited advice just becomes the loud speaker 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:55.879 on some thoughts that are probably already very critical and 0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:58.240 so maybe some not helpful ways. And so I think 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:01.640 people think that it's like harmless to offer this commentary. 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:04.920 You see this a lot, especially, I've noticed lots of 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:06.840 different places, but one of the places I've noticed in 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:10.120 most is like with seat belt commentary. Right, Like if 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:12.719 you show your baby in a car seat, like, oh, 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:14.760 I'm about to run to the store, follow me on 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:18.080 my way to the store, there's guaranteed to be somebody 0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:20.400 in the comments that says, oh, the baby's buckle needs 0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:23.840 to be higher too, you know. And again I think 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:26.920 that is well intentioned, right, because nobody wants to see, 0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:28.879 you know, something happening and a child is injured in 0:18:28.880 --> 0:18:31.520 a car accident. But again you have to think about, 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:35.160 like how many thoughts moms are already having about am 0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:37.400 I doing this right? Am I getting it wrong? And 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:40.160 how you are maybe adding gasoline to the fire when 0:18:40.200 --> 0:18:43.920 you're offering this unsolicited commentary. Now, Bria, I also want 0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:47.120 to back up though, when you saw this commentary, what 0:18:47.200 --> 0:18:50.040 was the concern around the baby being on the private jet. 0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:52.720 Was it like, oh, it's jermy, Like what the concern there? 0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:55.200 It was more so about the ears popping. I think 0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:57.359 a lot of people were like, she's flying private, so 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:00.520 there's not people around xyz. But apparently it's think about 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:02.800 the ear pressure. I have a lot of grace for 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:04.800 moms because I'm not a mom, and I feel like 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:08.000 I learned something new every day, so I'm like, that 0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:10.200 never would have even occurred to me. But something about 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:12.399 the ear pressure, got it and got it? 0:19:12.880 --> 0:19:15.040 That makes sense? That makes sense? Okay, Yeah, I mean 0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:17.880 it makes sense that that would be a concern. Lots 0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:20.879 of babies fly, and you know, I think the best 0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:23.600 kind of advice that I've heard being a mom is like, oh, 0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:26.080 you nurse them or you give them a battle while yeah, 0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:29.359 you kind of reader atultitude and that typically helps. So 0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:31.280 there are lots of different ways to kind of manage 0:19:31.440 --> 0:19:34.720 air pressure on flights if that was people's kind of 0:19:34.720 --> 0:19:36.680 main concern, But I was confused as to like why 0:19:36.720 --> 0:19:39.360 there was so much. Yeah, I feel a concern about it. 0:19:39.680 --> 0:19:42.640 As far as a German perspective, flying private is probably 0:19:42.680 --> 0:19:43.200 your best pens. 0:19:43.359 --> 0:19:45.520 Yeah, sure, right, right? 0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:50.959 For new moms everywhere. How can parents decide whose advice 0:19:51.040 --> 0:19:54.280 is actually worth listening to protecting their own mental health 0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:57.000 when it just feels like so many people have opinions 0:19:57.040 --> 0:19:59.959 on what's right, what's wrong, all the different things. 0:20:00.920 --> 0:20:03.760 Yeah, I think listening to your physician and your baby's 0:20:03.800 --> 0:20:06.679 physician is probably where you should go in terms of 0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:11.120 leading advice for your particular journey as a mom. Right 0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:13.800 because even if we are all moms, everybody has a 0:20:13.840 --> 0:20:16.199